Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Sweetness, Sourness And A Lot Of Videos
By Aaron Wood
Aug 15, 2008 - 7:33 PM

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Super Crazy led an ECW invasion...of one man..., HHH got his head squished, but didn't get his nose rearranged and La Familia were coming up roses...

THIS WEEK…
We kicked things off this week with the Smackdown Rebound from RAW (and assumedly ECW). You know, the one I called "too long" in my "live" RAW Director's Commentary show on Monday night/Tuesday morning. Still f***ing awesome though...

JR & Tazz introduce the show. Well, JR does. Tazz is just there in spirit, apparently.

Jeff Hardy def. Shelton Benjamin by DQ in a "Just because it was good last week doesn't mean we need to see it all again..." match
As Hardy came out, JR confirmed the match against MVP at Summerslam, noting that "He's been waiting a long time to face MVP". You know three weeks is a long time??? We then saw the finish of last week's match. I don't really see why they did that. We're about to see it again.

They treaded holds in the early going until Hardy scored a quartet of nearfalls on varying roll-ups. The Paydirt was blocked, but so was the Twist Of Fate. JR finally realised that he got the Twist Of Fate and the Whisper In The Wind confused. Knowing is half the battle. Shelton took a power, but came back in with aggression, before putting on a chinlock. It was a good one though. One that looked like it was doing damage. Hardy tried to fight out, but was taken down for a 2 count. They treaded shots in the corner before Hardy's rolling dropkick was blocked. Hardy was taken into the opposite corner, but he dumped Shelton into the corner and hit that dropkick for a 2 count as we took a break.

We came back as Hardy had a headscissors around Shelton's throat. It even scored him a 2 count. Benjamin caught a Hardy kicked, herked him up and powerbombed him into the corner. That scored a 2 count. Suplex scored another 2 for the Champ. Benjamin worked on Hardy’s back, putting him in a Texas Cloverleaf-like move while planting a boot on Hardy's lower back. Jeff made the ropes, but Shelton got himself a 2 count. Benjamin hit a Samoan Drop for the Torture Rack for another near fall. Benjamin connected with the Dragon Whip for a close 2 count. Benjamin went for the Stinger Splash, but Hardy avoided it, although Benjamin caught himself on the ropes before he did himself some damage. However, he walked into a Hardy jawbreaker.

Hardy was up first and he began to build momentum, including hitting a Whisper In The Wind for a close 2. The Twist Of Fate was blocked into a backbreaker for a 2 count. Shelton whipped Hardy off the ropes and again, they took each other out. Again, Hardy was up first, but as he stood on the apron, Benjamin tired to sunset flip powerbomb Hardy onto the floor, but Hardy countered a hurricanrana. Back in, Hardy hit something of an Ace Cutter in the corner. He went up top, but again, MVP ran in, this time knocking Hardy off the top rope to draw the DQ.

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7/10 - When they run the same angle the week previous, the effect is lessened this week. And while I've joked about it the last couple of weeks, I am wondering about Shelton as US Champion. I mean, it's not as if MVP is helping him win these matches. They're still going down as losses in the record book.
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However, the running boot was avoided by Hardy and MVP hit Benjamin. Hardy then hit MVP with the Twist Of Fate and Swanton Bomb before hitting Benjamin with the Swanton he originally intended to.

We cut backstage to see Vicki Guerrero when there was a knock at the door. It was Victoria. She had something to ask Vicki, but saw Guerrero was disturbed by something. Vicki was worried that Edge and Undertaker were in the building. The funniest bit was that Vicki's head, which they zoomed in on, was at the same level as Victoria's breasts, so we saw them up close too!

HHH wrestles tonight. And we also have Kozlov vs. Festus later too.

Natalya Neidhart & Maryse vs. Maria & Michelle McCool in a "And Cherry is the one fired..." match
The faces were out first, and I can't help but think about how hey are using Maria in a wrestling role when they fired Cherry. Next up was Maryse and then Natalya. JR noted that all these women were taller than Bob Costas. Not liking him this week, huh Vince?

Maria & Maryse start this one off and I die a little inside. Maryse scored a crappy takedown and CELEBRATED! She thankfully tagged Natalya in before doing anything else. Nattie countered an attempted headscissors with a side slam and then a snap suplex. However, Maria got an inside cradle for 2. Clothesline by Nattie scored a deuce. Maria was taken into the heel corner, but IMMEDIATELY managed to get to her corner and tag in Michelle. Flipping neckbreaker by Michelle scored a 2 count. That was followed by a front suplex. Maryse pulled Nattie out the ring, but Michelle decked her. Back in the ring, she went to punch Nattie in the corner, but Maryse distracted Michelle again. Maryse found herself on her ass again, but Natalya caught McCool with a double leg trip and made the cradle pin for the three count!

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5/10 - Maryse was in it for all of one move, albeit taking two bad bumps, and Maria only looked rather awkward, so this wasn't entirely useless, thanks to Natalya & Michelle.
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JR wondered if it was wise for HHH to see action before Summerslam. He can't know who HHH is facing...

THE Brian Kendrick def. Scott Goldman in a "COLT!!!!" match
The Brian Kendrick came out first and got on the mic again and said every week he came out and did exactly what he said he was going to do. He said the people had been wondering about Ezekiel at ringside, but so? The fact is that he opens up opportunities for everyone in the roster if they get on board. Zeke was asked if anyone could stack up, but Zeke said no-one could. Scotty Goldman was out next. And he seemed familiar...

IT'S ONLY COLT FRIGGING CABANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He got to cut a HILARIOUS "picture in picture" promo, based on him being on screen twice at the same time.

Kendrick grabbed an arm, but Goldman countered. They treaded holds before Kendrick hit a back heel kick and then a dropkick. Spanky followed up with an elbow in the corner. Kendrick went to the camel clutch. Goldman got out, but Spanky charged the corner. Goldman countered and then hit the ass bump for a 2 count. A powerbomb was counter by Kendrick and then he hit THE Kendrick for the three count.

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10/10 - And as long as these two wrestle, it shall forever remain a 10! No, seriously, this would be a 6.5 match. Decent, and Colt got some offence. I do wonder why he debuted against a guy they're pushing though.
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Ezekiel put Kendrick’s jacket on him before giving Cabana a stiff shoulder block.

We went TO THE BACK~! with Eve Torres. She brought in HHH. She asked him about defending the title on Sunday and then having a match later tonight. They cut to last week's Arm Wrestling bit with Khali. Eve asked if Hunter was in any condition to perform. HHH said that last week, Khali made a statement but on Sunday...

Kenny Dykstra walked in and told HHH to worry about Khali on Sunday. Tonight he was facing him. HHH said he admired his "Spirit" (and by God, I almost forgot all about DX vs. The Squad) but he was messing with the wrong guy.

After the break, The Great Khali and Runjin Singh (why do WWE insist on spelling it "Ranjin" when they ALWAYS pronounce it as "Runjin"?) came out. Khali cut a promo. I only caught "HHH", "Great Khali" and "Summerslam". That 70's Indian said that we all saw Khali's power and while HHH was great, they didn't come greater than Great Khali. He said Khali's only focus was the WWE Title and Hunter was just another obstacle. Singh even suggested that Hunter get out of the WWE while he still could, because on Sunday, Khali would take everything away.

HHH def. Kenny Dykstra in a "I've lost a bet. Kenny's still alive." match
Triple H made his way out as Khali watched form ringside and Runjin joined Tazz & JR at the announce desk. Kenny Dykstra then made his return from injury next. Kenny got the jump on HHH, working him over in the corner before scoring a clothesline. However, Hunter fired back with a clothesline, before hitting the knee-facebuster. Kenny then ran into a spinebuster. One Pedigree later, HHH could start looking around for another flight case to send Kenny back to FCW like the last time they met...

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4/10 - Kenny got a sprightly start, but this was a squash. Nice one though.
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After the match, HHH and Khali had a staredown. HHH got out the ring to get it on, but Runjin got in the way. He rolled Singh in the ring and beckoned Khali in to save him. Khali duly obliged, but HHH attacked as he came in. Khali shoved HHH away, but he blocked the overhand chop. The Pedigree was blocked again, but HHH (thanks to some obvious editing) clotheslined Khali over the top to the floor.

Up next would be Big Show. And he's getting the same graphics treatment as HHH. Very interesting little addition. You'd know what I mean if you saw it.

Big Show def. Ryan Braddock in a "What is with the entrances for the jobbers?"
We came back to see Big Show come out, and his weight seems to be creeping back up again, as his announced weight seems to be rising. Braddock got an entrance, albeit no promo. And he is the developmental guy known as Jay Bradley. Braddock got a couple of shots in to start, but Big Show quickly sent him over the top to the floor. Back in the ring, Show ran through Braddock before headbutting him. Big chop in the corner was followed by the sleeper toss. Big Show then set his fist and SMACKED Braddock with a straight right hand to the jaw, knocking him out long enough for the three count.

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2/10 - Even more squashier than the last squash.
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We cut backstage to MVP where Eve walked up to him. He grabbed her mic and cut a promo on Hardy saying that he tried to help Jeff, but now when his boot broke Hardy's jaw, he wouldn't hear people talking about how reckless Hardy was, but instead how much better MVP was than him.

We went backstage to Vicki & Victoria again. Vicki suddenly decided that it was a bad idea for her to be at the arena, and so asked Victoria to wheel her to her limo.

We got the weekly R-Truth promo.

Next up would be the hick and the Cossack...

Vladimir Kozlov def. Festus ina "So we kknow who has the hardest head..."
We came back as Festus came out with Jesse. Vladimir Kozlov followed. the bell rang and Festus got the jump on Mad Vlad, working him into the corner before punching him from the ring. They began to slug it out on the outside. Kozlov managed to send Festus into the steel steps. Back in the ring, Vlad scored a 2 count. Knees to the head by Kozlov. And elbow drop scored another 2 count. Kozlov then put a bearhug on Festus, before herking him over in a belly to belly suplex for a 2 count.

The bearhug was turned into a reverse bearhug, but Festus broke the grip and began to slug back. Festus then scored with a fallaway slam and a big clothesline. The groin splash scored a 2 count on Kozlov. Vladimir ate a big boot and a squash in the corner, but he ran into a headbutt to the chest from Kozlov for a three count!

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6.5/10 - Fine and interesting power match. Certainly a step up in class for Kozlov. Don't know if I'd have had Festus pinned quite so readily though...
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The shillingest main event segment you will ever see!

We came back from break to something of a RAW Rebound, although it was more a plug for HBK's announcement at Summerslam.

We then went to something of a RAW Rebound, although it was more a plug for Cena vs. Batista at Summerslam.

We cut back to JR & Tazz who ran down the Summerslam card.

We then cut to a promo for the Hell in A Cell match.

AND THAT WAS OUR MAIN EVENT SEGMENT!!!!!

That was it. No new material. No promos. No match. All videos.

OVERALL - 6.5/10 (- 1.5 on last week) - A decent show overall. I'm not necessarily going to take a dump on the main event segment being recap videos of the big matches at the PPV. Summerslam is the second biggest show of the year after all. It's a nice touch in theory. But how about some warning. I was indeed led to believe that there was an Edge promo somewhere in this show. I don't know if I, being in the UK, got it cut out or something, but if not, then it was just a rather odd way to go without notice. It's not as if JR even said "When we come back, we'll take a look at the matches for Summerslam". The matches were there, but it was mostly about the PPV shill, and it kinda worked...