Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Beating That Clock. Beating That Clock Hard. Again...
By Aaron Wood
Jan 1, 2010 - 11:10 AM

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Yes indeed, it is now a new decade (unless you're a complete tool and do the whole "the decade ends at the beginning of 2011", because THERE'S BEEN THE FIRST TEN YEARS THAT BEGIN WITH A "2", AND THUS THE FIRST DECADE HAS PASSED YOU F**KING NIMROD!), and I hope you all had a happy and safe one, especially, if like me, the temperature saw me freezing my nuts off .  So anyway, since we're now a decade into the century, I thought this week's video collection should reflect my top 5 favourite songs of the last decade.  And don't forget, if you have any ideas of what I should put up in video form, just e-mail or message me (links below).

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:  Batista was The Grinch, Canada was revealed to be a very dull place, Vickie ate someone's pie while HHH and DH Smith engaged in a "Who has the better delayed suplex?" competition...

THIS WEEK…
We kick off the decade, not by going back to last week, but indeed to TWO weeks ago, and the match Rey Mysterio & Batista had to determine the contender to The Undertaker's title.  Naturally that then did lead to last week's title match, which Batista went on to ruin.

The Legend That Is Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcomed us to the new year, and to determine the next contender, just like they did 2 years ago and kinda like they did in 2007, we're gonna beating some more clock.  Not just that, but 2 of my favourite wrestlers do battle again for the IC Title.

CM Punk & Luke Gallows came out as they talked about Punk's 2009, but not one word on Punk's ever more MANLY~! beard.  Naturally enough, since even I'm of the belief that New Year's is pretty much "amateur hour" in terms of drinking and a non-entity of a holiday day, Punk had something o say.  He asked who had made New Year’s Resolutions, pointing out that there was no need to boo the question, a simple raising of the hand was what he was after.  Anyway, how many people had broken theirs?  This guy here, what was yours?  Lose some weight?  FAIL!  And who said they were gonna stop drinking?  Resolutions were supposed to be about making yourself better.  Punk said he had never made one since he was already better.  But he could help us.  Save us.  Look at Luke!  So tonight, there was gonna be a pledge.  If you're at home, put your hand on the screen.

I...***insert name here*** am tired of wasting my life being a loser.  I'm tried of treating my body like a sewer.  I'm tired of not having the strength to just say no.   In 2010, I will adhere to the Straight Edge lifestyle.  I will not smoke.  I will not drink.  I will not do drugs.

Punk realised it was obvious we could not follow direction, but he wanted to make something clear.  Don't make him beat the message into us, because he could beat up each and every one of us.  His mind was clear.  They were probably still a bit hung over.  Punk said that next week, he would save a lost soul from the audience.  because he had heart, and then city by city and person by person, his message would spread, and we would realise he was not just a "minor threat" (which if you don't get it, is a reference to the band who inspired the whole "Straight Edge" lifestyle) and the youth of today would come together as one Striaght Edge society.  And he would start it off tonight by setting the winning time before winning the title at The Rumble, where he'd destroy The Undertaker.

Matt Hardy was left with just enough time to come out as we took a break.


05: "Do You Want To?" - Franz Ferdinand

CM Punk def. Matt Hardy in a "While either man could win and advance, there really was only going to be one guy winning this..." Beat The Clock match in 07:20
We came back before the match began, as Matt was already worried about the clock.  Yes, before it even started.  Matt scored a quick roll up for 2.  It seems as though, also, this time around, it was a case of "win and you're in", as they talked about both men's chances of progressing.  Somewhere, Evan Bourne was kicking himself.  Hardy with a cradle for 2.  Matt caught a kick and stomped Punk in the gut, before following up with a punt to the ribs, as Grisham noted that hardy had advanced in the ECW Homecoming deal against Finlay.  A front suplex scored a 2 count, and while Punk snapped Hardy's neck off the top rope, he springboarded into a gut shot by Matt.

Punk spun Hardy around in the corner while he was in the rope and kicked him in the back before slamming him off them for a 2 count.  Punk scored with a neckbreaker, which scored a near fall, before Punk locked in a headscissors, putting in a few Danielson elbows, before picking up a 2 count.  More elbows to the top of the head and another neckbreaker picked up another 2 count.  Hardy switched in the corner but was shoved out of the bulldog.  Jumping heel kick by Punk scored a 2 count.  Punk scored with a back suplex for another near fall before locking on a chinlock.  Hardy fought his way out of it and hit a back suplex of his own.  Hardy scored with a clothesline to pick up his very own near fall.  The corner clothesline and bulldog scored at the second time of asking, but the pin didn't get the job done.  Side Effect scored, but the pin didn't.  Mattitude looked to finish, but Punk countered and hid in the ropes.  However, when the ref pulled Matt back, Punk scored with a roundhouse kick, following with the Go To Sleep for the win.

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7/10 - Pretty good match to establish the time to beat for the rest of the night.  It'll be interesting to see if the rumours of Jeff coming back for Wrestlemania to face Punk once and for all are true, because it would seem to be heading that way, although I don't see what would be wrong with the Hardys together against Punk & Gallows.
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After the match, Punk looked impressed that he managed to hit 7:20 exactly, before ordering Gallows to beat up Hardy.  Hardy tried fighting back, but Punk again kicked Hardy to stop that, allowing Gallows to hit The 12th Step on him.

After an IC Title plug, they showed a graphic of the other Beat The Clock matches to come.  Want to know what they are?  Read on my friend...read on...

Kane & Dolph Ziggler wrestled to a Time Limit Draw in a "" Beat The Clock match
Kane came out first, setting off the corner pyro, signalling that he was f**ked in terms of winning.  That said, you'd think that since he was facing Dolph Ziggler, he could get the job done, right?  RIGHT???  Striker put over Ziggler's amateur background, meaning he was used to working within a time limit.  Kane countered a single leg takedown before the pair rolled around for a bit amateur style.  Yes, Kane was doing a bit of chain wrestling.  However, Ziggler managed to take out the leg, but couldn't get a pin after that before he then ran into a clothesline for a Kane 2 count.  Kane hit a delayed suplex for another 2 count.  Snapmare over and basement dropkick by Kane scored another deuce. Ziggler countered a back drop with a DDT for a near fall.  Rolling neck snap saw another pin.  Ziggler hit a dropkick, but couldn't score a pin off that.  Dolph put on a European headlock, but Kane was able to slam his way out of it.  An elbow drop missed and Ziggler hit a Fameasser for a 2 count.

Ziggler hit his elbow drops, but again only picked up a pair.  Ziggler locked on a chinlock as the clock ticked down to 3 minutes.  DID SOMEONE JUST SAY THREE MINUTES?  Kane fought his way out and hit a big boot for a 2 count.  Ziggler was whipped into the corner, where Kane hit a clothesline, following with a side slam for another near fall.  Running powerslam picked up a 2 count for Big Red.  Kane went up top, but was cut off.  Ziggler wailed away, but Kane knocked him back down as Kane then hit the flying clothesline.  As we ticked down to a minute, Kane teased a chokeslam, but Ziggler countered by leaping over the top rope and then hotshotting Kane off the top.  Ziggler jumped back in and leapt on Kane's back as he locked in an apparent sleeper.  And indeed, Kane collapsed to hit knees.  However, before Kane passed out or tapped, the buzzer went and it was over.

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6.5/10 - Pretty good match, with some interesting work, given that it was pretty much Kane wrestling Ziggler's match, and not so much the big man/little man dynamic.
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After the match ended, Ziggler hit the Zig Zag in frustration.


04: "Broken Boy Soldier" - The Raconteurs

We came back fro Grisham and Striker as they talked about the last RAW of 2009, and in particular, Cena & Sheamus's rematch, sending it to the RAW Rebound.

The Great Khali def. "The Carolina Panther" in a "Thank God this wasn't a Beat The Clock match..." match
The whole point was that the Panthers thumped the Giants the previous weekend, and this, in some way, was Giant vs. Panther.  The jobber dude, who was wearing a Carolina Panthers jersey (hence the name), put in some shots, which Khali didn't feel before hitting the Khali Bomb within 15 seconds.

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1/10 - It was done so quick, he didn't need Runjin Singh with him.
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Drew McIntyre def. John Morrison by DQ in a "" match to retain the Intercontinental Title
We came back from break right into Morrison's entrance.  JoMo seemed to take a page out of Bret Hart's book by putting a pair of his shades on a kid.  This sent us back to WWE Superstars from last week as Morrison put a challenge into McIntyre on the show before hitting Starship Pain.  McIntyre came out and we went to a break, which sent us to a commercial for next week's RAW.  man, did TNA ever screw their own pooch.  Morrison mauled Drew early on, before hitting a running jumping heel kick for 2.  He clotheslined McIntyre out of the ring.  Morrison climbed up on the guardrail and jumped off, but while McIntyre moved out of the harm's way, Morrison flipped over like a proper little gymnast and landed on his feet. he went back up and then hit something of an Asai Moonsault onto McIntyre, although it wasn't the moonsault that did the damage, but either JoMo's elbow or knee, I couldn't quite tell.  Back in the ring, Morrison scored a 2 count.  The kick out sent Morrison out and as he tried coming back in, Drew kick Morrison in the head, sending back down, but Morrison’s foot was caught in the ropes.

As Morrison was hung up, McIntyre kicked at the chest and tied leg of Morrison.  Back in and free, McIntyre began working over the leg of Morrison.  However, as Drew was holding the leg, pondering his next bone-crunching move, Morrison kipped up and hit an enziguri.  Morrison began to build momentum, before hitting the overhead kick for a 2 count.  McIntyre chop blocked the leg, but when Drew picked Morrison up, Morrison countered the move and sent Drew into the corner before hitting the Flying Chuck for a 2 count.  McIntyre hit a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a 2 count.  McIntyre took off a turnbuckle pad, but turned into a flurry by Morrison.  The ref had a hard time backing Morrison up, but as they argued., McIntyre shoved Morrison into the referee as he dealt with the turnbuckle pad, which he took as Morrison shoving him down of his own volition, DQ'ing the challenger.

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7.5/10 - A really fun, good and athletic match.  Finish was a little cheap, but that said it worked into McIntyre's MO, and I think came at the right point.  These two work really well together.
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After the match, as Drew was leaving, Morrison ran (well, limped) after Drew and attacking forcing all the referees to come out and try and pull them apart.


03: "Grounds For Divorce" - Elbow

We came back with Michelle and Layla at ringside, wearing T-Shirts that said "We *heart" Glamazon" and "Piggy James *hearts* Food", as well as Phoenix mimicking headbands.

Mickie James def. Beth Phoenix in a "Well, I think we can safely say she's not exactly on Team LayCool..." match
My vote for the Female Wrestler Of The Year in the WWI awards voting came out first, followed by Mickie, as we saw the bullies at ringside pretending to eat.  Mickie got some forearms in, but ran into a side slam for a 2 count.  Mickie was elevated out to the apron, but she fought Beth off and came off the top with a Thesz Press for a 2 count.  Layla jumped up on the apron, distracting the referee while Michelle also appeared.  However, as Michelle launched a shot at Mickie, she moved and instead, it was Beth who took the kick.  As Michelle looked horrified, Mickie rolled Beth up for the win.

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5/10 - Barely got going.  It was more about advancing the angle, and really establishing Beth as a "tweener" in the middle of everything.  That said, having made her a tweener here, it wouldn't surprise me if she did do a full babyface turn down the road.
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Michelle looked incredibly petrified, but Layla charged Mickie in the ring.  Michelle joined her and they began beating on Mickie.  However, Beth pulled Michelle off and slammed her down, before ramming her in the corner.  Mickie ripped Layla's homemade shirt off, before dumping her out.  Beth pressed Michelle over her head before slamming her down and punting her from the ring.  Mickie and Beth reluctantly slapped hands, but Beth turned right around and hit Mickie with the Glam Slam.


02: "Seven Nation Army" - The White Stripes

Chris Jericho, allowed in this building, walked the halls.

Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho in a "If there were any 2 I'd trust to have this precise result, it'd be these two..." Beat The Clock match in 07:19
After the ads, Jericho came out first.  He got a mic and said there was a saying that "This town isn't big enough for both of us", but to paraphrase it, Jericho said Smackdown wasn't big enough for him.  He was bigger than both RAW and Smackdown.  He was bigger than the WWE.  He guaranteed that he and Big Show would beat DX, and he's be the face of Smackdown, RAW, ECW, Superstars, Live Events, PPV’s, On Demand, WWEClassic...the entire company!  And his New Year’s Resolution would be to win every title in the WWE, and it would start tonight when he beat Rey, and then beat Undertaker and become a six-time World champion.  He was good enough to do it, so get used to him, as in 2010, he'd take his place as the epicentre of the WWE.

We came back for the start of the match.  Jericho got the upperhand, and dumped Rey to the outside.  Of course, Jericho was happy to take a count out win, as we saw Punk & Gallows look on.  Mysterio got onto the apron, where he drove a shoulder in before hitting a springboard crossbody for a 2 count.  Jericho with a back suplex for 2.  After a whip across the corner, Jericho caught a kick, but was hit with an enziguri that put him in 619 position.  However, Jericho was up quick and hit a back drop for a 2 count.  Jericho locked in a sleeper hold while trapping an arm.  Rey began to fight back, but Jericho retained the hold.  Rey managed to get back up to his feet and out the hold.  He then hit Jericho with a drop toe hold into the corner and a flying crossbody/headbutt, which Striker said was shades of El Hijo Del Santo, for a 2 count.  Rey springboard off the ropes with a turning crossbody./  Jericho looked for the sunset flip, and while Rey rolled through, Jericho grabbed the legs and looked for the Walls.  Rey countered that but was hit by a clothesline for a 2 count.

Rey floated over in the corner. but he ran into Argentine backbreaker for a 2 count.  with 90 seconds left, Jericho whipped Rey off the ropes, but was kicked into 619 position.  However, Jericho had it scouted and he grabbed the legs to lock on a Walls of Jericho.  Rey managed to work his way out of it, but was dropped again for a 619 that did connect.  However, Rey springboarded into a Codebreaker.  Jericho, however, was slow to make a cover and it only picked up a 2 count.  Jericho argued with the ref, and as he picked up Rey, Rey surprised him with an inside cradle for the three count just as the clock ticked down to 0:01...

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8/10 - Really good match with a perfectly timed finish.  These two could do no wrong, and they didn't have any margin of error, really.
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Rey was aghast.  Punk and Gallows were aghast.  Jericho was aghast.  Suffice to say there was much aghastness.


01: "Brianstorm" - Arctic Monkeys

Back from break, Rey sitting by the announcers, but wasn't on commentary.

Batista & R-Truth wrestled to a Time Limit Draw in a "Rey should be lucky to only have to face Batista, that was technically a DQ Batista's way with 3 seconds left..." Beat The Clock match
After the introductions and a break we again came back for the start of the match.  Batista took Truth into the corner and worked him over, before whipping him across and driving some shoulders in.  However, while Dave was concerned with Rey, Truth scored a quick schoolboy for 2.  Batista fired back with a big clothesline, before hitting a suplex for a 2 count.  The Animal looked for a powerslam, but Truth slipped out.  Batista whipped Truth into the corner and while Truth floated over, Batista faked out Truth, and as Truth dropped down in the splits, Batista booted him.

Batista set for the powerbomb, but as he stared at Rey, Truth countered and kicked Batista out of the ring.  Pescado up and over by Truth connected.  Truth rolled Batista back in, but was caught by Deacon Dave as he came in himself and was sent into the ringpost.  Batista then ran Truth into the steel steps.  Batista then worked over Truth's shoulder, sending it into the corner.  Truth scored with a dropkick, but he ran into a Bossman Slam for a 2 count.  Batista lurked in wait for a spear, but Truth countered with a DDT for a 2 count.  The Axe Kick scored, but it only scored a deuce.  Truth blocked a corner charge before flipping up to the top rope, but Batista swatted off the missile dropkick with 60 seconds remaining.

Batista smashed Truth with the spear, constantly looking over to Rey instead of following up.  Batista with the spinebuster.  He then hit the Batista with 10 seconds left, but as the ref counted the pin that would surely have given Batista the win with a few seconds to spare, Mysterio pulled Charles Robinson out of the ring, and in the confusion, the buzzer went on the clock.  Rey had seemingly won Beat The Clock!

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7/10 - Pretty good match, with the swerve of the finish, although it didn't quite work brilliantly for me, since I would have thought the DQ was the way to go, since that would have been the result of any other match.
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Of course, nobody pointed out how that should be a DQ.  To be fair, Matt alluded to it, but didn't say so in so many words.  However, there was one person who wouldn't stand for any shenanigans, that person being Vickie Guerrero, as while Rey celebrated and Batista SEETHED~!, she excused herself.  However, even then, she wasn't going to announce a DQ in, but instead, she said on Smackdown they all followed the rules and Rey cheated Batista, and so since they couldn't determine who would be facing Undertaker at The Rumble, as she was Smackdown's special advisor, she was "advising" Rey to take on Batista next week to determine the No.1 Contender.  Rey could hardly believe it while Batista was looking a little more satisfied as the show ended.

OVERALL - 8/10 (-0.5 on last week) - Really good show this week, completely focused on the in-ring product, which was of a really pretty high standard across the board, at least in those matches given any time.  That said, you could criticise the show for being a waste of time in terms of the Beat The Clock idea not producing a winner, since Vickie arbitrarily announced Rey vs. Batista for next week.  What they could have done is have Rey pulled the ref out as the hand was coming down for three, but it was at the point where the buzzer was literally just about to go, so they could have Charles Robinson announce the DQ, but have it be the same time as Rey clocked in with, necessitating the following match and making the point of the night a little less moot, since it was the concept that drove the subsequent match, and not a wacky ruling by someone else.  But really, other than that nitpick, this was a really fun and enjoyable show.