Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Yep, Rey & Batista Again. But There's A Winner This Time...HONEST!
By Aaron Wood
Jan 15, 2010 - 5:29 PM

Hello my Gathering...

Obviously, this has been a tragic week for the people of Haiti, and so, I just wanted to throw up this link for us British folk to visit and donate or to find out how you can help:

Disasters Emergency Committee

Of course, as I said, this is the main UK way of helping.  I'm not entirely sure what other ways there are in the likes of the US but I would assume the Red Cross is a good place to head for, and I believe in the US, there is a text donation number to send a message & donation to.  You should also check out Awesome Kong's deal that RD Lee flagged up earlier today.  Whatever it is you do you really should do something.

On a more upbeat note, as a music fan, particularly of new music, this is one of the first weeks of the year I can actually enjoy, mainly because musicians either start releasing stuff again or, thanks to the NME, tell us about what's coming up in the year, and indeed, this week has been a good one for releases, and since one of my newer friends on Facebook, Shane McKinley, noted when I mentioned what I was downloading, that US Music was mediocre (and I believe he is an American himself) that two of the three tracks I particularly noted at that point were American bands, and the fourth track I have this week comes from New York's Vampire Weekend, and the lead single from their new album, which I also bought this week.  By the way, if you do play the last video, play that f**ker LOUD!!!!   It's one of those songs, at least in my humble opinion, that just gets better and better the louder it is...

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:  They still failed to find a No.1 Contender, DH Smith celebrated like he had helped, Khali mooed Vickie, and while Brutus Beefcake hasn't shown up in TNA...yet...CM Punk sowed the world how the art of cutting hair was done...

THIS WEEK…
We kick of with last week's main event where Rey and Batista were seemingly "gonged" into submission by The Undertaker's entrance.  After they let the credits roll and cross the line, The Legend That Is Todd Grisham and Matt Striker introduced the show noting Batista and Rey would be going at it in a cage so that no-one could get in or out while Undertaker himself would be appearing with some 'splaining to do.

However, he was not first.  No, it was Mike Tyson's punching bag from RAW on Monday, as he came out with a massively bruised and swollen jaw, indeed as we saw a replay of it.  100% obvious, but still just totally cool to watch.  Jericho told the crowd to wipe the smirks form their faces.  He wasn't a broken man, and while DX pulled another fast one, he wasn't going to crawl into a hole and go away as much as we might like it.  And just because a punch-drunk mentally unstable guy got a lucky shot on him, it didn't change that he was the best at what he did.  HE was the baddest man on the planet and he was the face of Smackdown.  Jericho let the crowd tell him that he sucked, before saying that he'd add another accolade to his list of accomplishments by winning the Rumble in a fortnight and win the main event at Wrestlemania.  And then, he'll be the smug one.

Chris Jericho def. John Morrison in a "Could have been a "dirtier" finish..." match
Morrison made his entrance at this point, as he again gave away his sunglasses.  I do hope he asked Bret for permission...  Striker put over Jericho possibly wrestling with a fractured jaw.  Jericho shoved Morrison, so he came back with a slap to the jaw before clotheslining Jericho over the top rope.  As Morrison lauded it over Jericho, THE SCOTTISH INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION~!, Drew McIntyre came out as we took a break.

We came back with Morrison still in control as we saw McIntyre sitting in front of the announcers.  Morrison telegraphed a backdrop with a kick, followed by his Backbreaker/Side Russian combo for a 2 count.  The Flying Chuck was countered by Jericho, who shoved Morrison over the top rope to the floor.  Jericho rolled Morrison back in and hit a slingshot splash for 2.  Arm and chin lock by Jericho, but Morrison was up fairly quickly.  Jericho blocked a corner charge, but came off the second rope into a gut shot.  Dropkick by Morrison was followed by a knee to the face for a close 2 count.  Jericho scored with the bulldog.  However, he missed the Lionsault and was hit with the Flying Chuck for another 2 count.

Jericho grabbed a kick and looked for the Walls, but Morrison spun out.  Jericho missed a charge, leaving him vulnerable for Starship Pain.  However, Jericho moved and looked for the Walls again, but Morrison rolled through for a 2 count.  Jericho hit a flapjack of sorts for a 2 count  Hey, it's called a flapjack in the SvR games...  Morrison surprised Jericho was an attempt at The Moonlight Drive, but Jericho countered and locked on the Walls Of Jericho.  McIntyre got up and held up the title, which spurred JoMo to crawl towards him and grab the ropes before smacking Jericho.  However, as Morrison's mind was on all things Tiffany-banging, he turned round as Jericho was getting up, allowing him to hit the Codebreaker for the win.

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7/10 - Pretty good match between 2 pretty good wrestlers, but I wasn't sure about the finish. It could be argued that McIntyre caused a distraction, but this was one of those times where that is a really quite weak argument.  If they are supposed to have Morrison vs. McIntyre again, I would have put Morrison over here, especially when he's facing an opponent who is selling the effects of what happened on Monday to the point where one of the announcers suggested he had a fractured jaw.  If you can't beat a guy with an injury anywhere near that, then you're not looking great.
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As Jericho left the ring, Drew entered it to hold the IC Title over Morrison before stomping on his face.

We took another look at the cage, before pimping what was next.  If you want to know what that is, read the very next paragraph.  Seriously, no filler or anything...


Vampire Weekend - "Cousins"

Well, maybe a video...

Hair today...Straight Edge tomorrow
Punk & Gallows came out with the same kit as last week as we shot back to last week to see them "saving" James.  Can't say exactly why they're recapping something we're about to see happen again pretty much to a proverbial T.  Punk said he showed the WWE universe what was possible last week.  He took a dude out of the audience and gave them a better life.  He forgave them for all their past transgressions.  He was the leader of the Straight Edge society, and he was he wasn't going to stop until we all made the pledge.  One nation, under Punk, indivisible, with integrity and sobriety for all!

Punk said he remembered what he first saw Luke.  Half-comatose from meds.  But look at him now.  This could be you, you just gotta want it.  And then, The former-Festus cut a promo!  He said he knew how hard change could be.  It was liking climbing a mountain, but when you needed a pill just to start your day, it seemed like you needed an external power to live your life, but you didn't.  All you needed was CM Punk.  As it goes, Gallows' promo here was quite good.

Punk said they were here now to continue to enlighten society with our addictions.  He wanted the people to know the Royal Rumble match would be our first step to salvation as when he wins it, it would be an accomplishment for him and society.  A Straight Edge society.  When the crowd told Punk he sucks, he said what sucked was that everyone was too dumb to be saved, so it had to be one at a time.  So who wanted saved today.  He picked out an African American guy behind the announcers.  You see, I was compelled to mention the colour of his skin because it made what I write next more heartbreaking.  He had a 'FRO!

Not a huge one, but it was heading that way.  He said his name was Trevor.  Punk told him he was amongst friends.  Not the crowd, but Luke and himself.  The crowd were the people quick to shove a beer in their face, but he was now with friends who cared.  When asked, Trevor didn't know how many drinks he had had this year.  IN FIFTEEN DAYS???  Dude shouldn't be at the wrestling show.  He should be on the business end of a stomach pump if he's lost count of 15 days drinking...  Anyway, much like James last week, he raised his hand and accept Straight Edge into his life before they got out the clippers.  Funny note saw the crowd chant "Trevor Sucks" as Punk cut off the burgeoning 'fro.  And again, Punk did a pretty good job with the shaving.  A little patchy, but as I said last week, when you consider most shavings in wrestling, it was pretty good.  They then raised Trevor's hand and presented him before the new hot tag team of Great Khali and Matt Hardy came out.  Wait...KHALI & HARDY???

CM Punk & Luke Gallows def. Cryme Tyme, The Hart Dynasty & The Great Khali & Matt Hardy in a "Come on, how awesome would DX vs. Khali & Hardy have been???" match to become No. 1 Contenders to the Unified Tag Titles
We came back for the Hart Dynasty's entrance, followed by Cryme Tyme to round out the field.  However, this didn't stop Striker from cutting a promo recounting Bret's involvement a couple of weeks ago on RAW.  THE REAL CANADIAN BULLDOG DH Smith started off with Matt Hardy and took control early.  At least until he was caught with a neckbreaker.  Khali tagged in and did Matt's pose while Matt came off the middle rope with the point of his elbow.  Khali then clotheslined Smith out of the ring.  Khali got out and Hardy helped surround them as we took another break.

It was Khali & Luke Gallows in the ring upon return as they stood off as best they could.  Gallows got a big shot in, but Khali knocked him down and then hit the overhand chop.  As Khali anticipated a finish, JTG tagged himself in and picked up a 2 count.  Gallows hit a side slam before bringing in Punk.  JTG hit a lying forearm and dropkick.  JTG then hit the Mug Shot, but both Gallows and Tyson Kidd broke up the pin.  Khali came in and dumped them.  Shad and DH Smith then dumped Khali.  Smith tossed Shad before Khali pulled Smith out.  Hardy came off the top turnbuckle onto the big group.  In the ring, JTG blocked the GTS but Gallows got the blind tag.  JTG hit the Shout Out, but Gallows came in and booted JTG as the ref refused to count before hitting the 12th Step for the win.

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6/10 - OK enough match.  Really short, but interesting enough.  Double interesting since it was Punk & Gallows who won.  I assume that they aren't having the match at The Royal Rumble, since Punk has made pretensions of winning that match itself.  It'll be interesting to see how that plays out, because behind the Harts as a team who, given the topicality of Bret being back in the WWE, would be the most suitable team to beat DX, Punk & Gallows, with their current angle make for interesting challengers.
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Trevor climbed back into the ring, to some surprise of Punk, with Trevor raising up their arms in victory.


These New Puritans - "We Want War"

Backstage, Josh Matthews took his life into his own hands by knocking on Batista's door.  He eventually answered to be asked about the advantage he had over Rey in his cage match later.  Batista said he had nothing to say about Rey before saying he wasn't intimidated by Taker.  He said the interview was over on pain of death before slamming the door in Josh's face.

And they say HHH wants to hold guys down...
The Undertaker made his way out to the ring.  he said that the new decade brought new hopes and dreams to the superstars of the WWE universe, but the darkness of The Undertaker would continue to dominate and collect souls as it has for the last...TWO decades.  He's damn right as well.  This is his 20th year.  Last week, Batista and Mysterio felt his presence.  They experienced a warning.  Something they'd only get once.  It didn't matter who won tonight because he was bent on destruction.  Whoever survived the cage wouldn't survive him at the Rumble.

And speaking of destruction, there was an event on the horizon.  An event the legend of The Undertaker has reached mortality.  Wrestlemania.  17 men have stepped up and 17 men have been set down.  However, all but one have tested his fate and asked for no more.  But there is one who has shined brightly in defeat, and that was Shawn Michaels.  HBK had come closest to breaking the streak, but he was an epic fail in the end.  But on Monday he had the stones to challenge him to a rematch at this year's Wrestlemania.  So Shawn, The Deadman will be showing up to answer him personally.  And regardless of the decision, he would Rest In Peace.

Mickie James def. Beth Phoenix by DQ in a "May as well use the help while it's there, huh?" match
As Mickie came out, we went back to New Year's Night, as we saw Beth saving Mickie before killing Mickie herself and then last week as Mickie saved Beth before kicking Beth in the head.  Beth came storming out, foregoing her usual entrance and getting right in Mickie's face.  Mickie got the go-behind, but Beth scored with a headbutt.  Mickie blocked some shots and looked for the Mick Kick, but Beth blocked it and hit some forearm shots before punting her in the ribs.  She rammed Mickie's head in the corner before hitting Umaga's old ass splash in the corner.  Beth pulled Mickie out of the corner for a 2 count.

Phoenix locked on a chinlock, but Mickie got out of it.  However, she ran into a side slam for a 2 count.  Mickie dropkicked the leg out from Beth, but she was then dropped on the top rope.  Beth rammed Mickie into the corner.  James was left in the Tree Of Woe as Beth drove shoulders in.  The ref ordered Beth to stay back, and as Todd posited she might get disqualified for continually attacked Mickie in the corner, that's exactly what happened.  You know, as if on cue...

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6/10 - Decent enough stuff from the 2 best ladies on the whole roster, but this ended up being about the angle than the match, which I think in this case anyway, was fine enough, since it is actually quite compelling to see what happens next.
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Beth went back over to Mickie as Team LayCool ran in.  However, because they were facing both Mickie & Beth, there was a standoff leaving us wondering who they were after.  That question was answered for us though as Beth teased a "If you want to get at my prey, you'll have to go through me" position, she then just walked away, leaving Mickie at Michelle & Layla's door.  They swung Mickie up and back down into the bottom turnbuckle before Michelle drove in some knees.  Mickie made a comeback, but was quickly cut off by a chop block.  Mickie hit Layla with a jawbreaker, but Michelle hit a knee lift and then the Faith Breaker.


Owl City - "Fireflies"

Kane def. Dolph Ziggler in a "Well, time to give on that sleeper now..." match
Kane made his entrance first.  This was because Dolph Ziggler was standing by with Josh.  Dolph said 2 weeks ago, Kane was on his knees, and last week, he was even closer to making him tap.  And so, after beating Kane tonight, he was rolling into the Rumble and after winning, he would be heading to Wrestlemania.

Kane went to town on Ziggler early on, working Mr. Ziggles over in the corner.  After tossing Ziggler up in the air, Kane hit a snapmare and basement dropkick for a 2 count.  Kane with a scoop slam and elbow drops.  Ziggler tried to crawl out, but Kane pulled him back in and booted Dolph in the face.  Ziggler was sent into the corner, but he got the boot up on the charge.  Ziggler saw his opportunity and looked for the sleeper, but while he got it on, Kane quickly dumped Ziggler out as we took a break.

Ziggler was in control as we saw that he sent Kane into the post and then the steps.  Ziggler had a chinlock on, before hitting some crossface blows.  The rolling necksnap scored a 2 count.  Ziggler worked over Kane in the corner with shots and boots before hitting a dropkick for a 2 count.  After another chinlock by Dolph, Kane got into the corner.  Dolph mounted for some punches, but Kane shoved him down and looked for a chokeslam.  Ziggler grabbed the ropes, forcing the break.  However, Ziggler ran into a big boot.  Kane hit a pair of right hands before sending Ziggler into the corner for a couple of clotheslines and a powerslam for a 2 count.

Kane went up for the clothesline, but Ziggler cut him off and looked for the superplex.  Kane headbutted him down though.  However, Ziggler saw it coming and rolled out of the way before Kane jumped off and rolled out the ring.  Kane climbed down to get him and rolled Dolph in, but Kane caught him with a boot and then a dropkick.  Ziggler then locked on the sleeper again on the outside.  However, Kane ran Ziggler into the ringpost, managing to break the hold and got back in before the referee finished a 10 count.  Kane again looked for the top rope clothesline but this time, Ziggler again moved and hit the Fameasser for a close 2 count.  Ziggler looked for the ZigZag, but Kane caught him, spun him over and hit a chokeslam for the win.

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7.5/10 - I actually really liked this match.  It told a really good story, and these two seem to click in the ring, at least for my money.  These guys haven't had a bad match yet.
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John Cena at the Fiesta Bowl.  I don't know much about college sports in the US, but even I know the BCS sucks ass.

We came back to see the back of the unmasked Rey Mysterio.  Just imagine if, after all that time trying, Chris Jericho appeared now and just spun him around?  Anyway, Rey put the mask on and turned around to walk towards the entrance.  He was wished luck by Maria, Jimmy Wang Yang and Slam Master J before Josh caught up with him for comments.  Hey Rye, you're kinda f**ked tonight, huh?  Rey said nightmares are dreams.  Bad dreams suyre, but still dreams an there were also good dreams, and tonight would be a dream come true,


White Rabbits - "Percussion Gun"

Rey Mysterio def. Batista in a "Well, at least we have a f**king winner now..." Cage match to become No. 1 Contender to the World Title
Rey came out first and indeed climbed up the cage to wave to the fans.  And they seem to have perfected Batista's new entrance, with them keeping the video screens on.  Made it look a million times better.  Rey got some shots in but Batista grabbed him.  Rey ducked the charge and looked to climb out, but Batista cut him off.  Batista dumped Rey in the corner and drove in shoulders to the gut.  Rey looked for a crossbody was caught.  However, he slipped out Batista's and chop blocked the leg before kicking Batista into 619 position.  However, with a whacking big cage in the way, Rey Rey realised he wasn't able to hit it.  Batista realised it and started to giggle.  He charged and Rey dropped him into position again, elected to take a run and use Batista's back as a step to try and escape.  And he was half way out like a shot before Batista could cut him off.  Batista brought him back in looking for a powerbomb, and while Rey slipped out of that, Deacon Dave tossed him into the cage wall.

He pressed Rey into the cage.  Batista lawn-darted Rey into the wall.  He went to do it again, but Rey caught himself and scampered up.  However, once more, Batista was able to cut him off.  Mysterio knocked The Animal away and hit a seated senton but ran right into a big boot.  Batista looked to spear Rey, but he ducked and Batista hit the spear.  Rey took advantage of Batista while on his knees, knocking Dave down and hitting a leg drop off the second rope for a 2 count, a pinning attempt which utterly baffled Striker wondering why Rey didn't climb.  Rey then got an cradle pin for 2.  The wheelbarrow bulldog was blocked and he was slammed down.  Instead of leaving himself, Batista scored with the spear at the second time of asking.  Spinebuster followed as Batista then did some push-ups.

Batista gave Rey the thumbs down as Rey crawled for the door, but he pulled Rey back in.  Batista Bomb was blocked as Rey held onto the top of the cage.  He knocked Batista down.  Rey climbed up and over the cage.  Realising the position he was in, Batista made for the door, but as Rey was coming over and Batista was trying to get out, Rey was able to kick the door back into Batista's face before dropping down for the win!

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7/10 - Entertaining enough main event, with a nicely thought of finish.  And at least we have a contender named now.  Just wonder why they decided against the three way.  That said, it would be just as well as having Rey as the challenger in the month where the challenger is pretty much a lame duck one anyway.
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Rey ran up the ramp before celebrating as Batista was in COMPLETE SHOCK~! in the ring and the show ended.

OVERALL - 7.5/10 (+1 on last week) - I thought this was a really fun show this week, filled with some quality matches and a decent amount of Rumble build, with various people talking about the PPV and, of course, them determining a contender for Undertaker.  So yeah, a definite step up from last week.