Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Undertaker vs. Literally Half Of An Army
By Aaron Wood
Feb 29, 2008 - 4:53 PM

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: MVP found a bizarre chiropractor named Batista, the hotties kept coming for Teddy and Chavo put Rey down...again...

THIS WEEK…
You know, I've suddenly noticed that MVP is in the ident at the beginning of the show... Anyway, we get the one minute recap of the Wrestlemania press conference. You know, the one where Floyd Mayweather gave a complete heel performance but they actually managed to make him look like something of a babyface.

Big Show def. Joey Ryan & Jay Garland in a "Well. when getting ready to face the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world, you always take on a couple of nobodies to prepare for it..." match
After the credits, the video made sense as Big Show, who is officially on the Smackdown roster (but I bet you'll NEVER see Mayweather on this show outside of videos) came out for the regular "Massive guy who has come in the company beating on 2 jobbers" match. And on RAW next Monday, Big Show is going to be taking on a "professional fighter". And yes, Joey Ryan is the same Joey Ryan from "That 70's Team" in WSX. He wasn't doing that gimmick here though. Which, given he was the one with the propensity of getting his trunks pulled down, is probably a good thing.

You can take a guess what happened. Only thing of note was Big Show hitting some boxing punches to Ryan to finish the match off.

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1/10 - What did you expect?
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Big Show suddenly had a mic in his hand. He said that in September, Floyd would likely face off against Oscar De La Hoya. But it wasn't going to happen. Y'see Big Show was going to break just about everything on Floyd's body. He then mooted Big Show vs. De La Hoya, but then again, he'd win that match too. Big Show says the 20 million they're paying Floyd to face him won't be worth it.

We saw replays of the punch that KO'ed Joey Ryan as Big Show left.

After the break, we saw a video regarding the Make A Wish foundation. There was some sort of "partnership" being announced, and 50 kids will be going to Wrestlemania. John Cena got himself an award as well. Apparently, he's going to be taking part in his 100th wish next month. That's pretty damn good.

Jimmy Wang Yang & Shannon Moore def. Deuce & Domino in a "Back to winning ways...for one team at least..." match
The Redneck & the reject came out first and Moore looked rather chirpy. Well, he wasn't facing Big Daddy V again... Deuce & Domino then made their way out, and Cherry is back to her usual hair style, although she was ROCKING the cleavage, so we'll call that a wash.

Domino threw his shirt at Yang and then got the side headlock and takedown. Yang levered out of it and then avoided an elbow to grab a headlock of his own. Yang leapfrogged over Domino and got an armdrag before making the tag. Moore hit a dropkick for a 1 count. Moore then hit a headscissors on Domino. Moore ended up on the apron, but was dumped to the floor. Deuce got a cheapshot before rolling Moore back in allowing Domino to score a 2 count. Deuce came in and hit a hard right hand for a 2 count. Deuce put on a pretty stretching hold. Moore got out of it and started to fight back, but Deuce mauled him. Neck vice by Deuce. Moore fought up but was downed again.

Yang was sent from the apron, before Shannon got choked on the rope. Domino came in again and continued the choking. Moore avoided a charge and tagged in Yang. Deuce came in too, but got his legs swept form under him before Yang hit a dropkick. Domino kneed Yang in the back, and Deuce whipped him into the corner. Yang avoided the charge and went for the moonsault although Deuce was pulled out of the way. D&D set up for a double team, but Moore knocked Domino off the top, although Deuce hit a suplex anyway. Yang flipped out another suplex and ran up to the top to hit the moonsault for the three count.

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5.5/10 - Decent stuff here. Nothing new, but not bad at all.
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Shame they didn't do the engagement tonight...
And on this special, the 29th of February, where it is traditional for women to ask men to marry them, unlike any other day of the year, the already engaged couple were admiring Vicki's rock. They then talked "Honeymoon". Edge suggested Canada. Why not Moosejaw? Vicki said she loved Canadians, but as they were going to kiss, The Rated Rmy came in. As it goes, Edgeward wanted to speak to his charges. Vicki had an idea. Last week, Undertaker laid his hands on Edge, so Zack was going to facing Undertaker in REVENGE~!

Chuck Palumbo def. Jamie Noble in a "Well, if it's happening now, unfortunately it's not happening at Wrestlemania..." match
After the break, Chucky made his way out on his bike. Jamie then came out with Michelle McCool. Chuck avoided a charge and hit some mounted punches.. However, Chuck picked up Noble and dumped him in the corner. However, Noble managed to grab the arm and bar it over the ropes. Noble then wrapped the arm off the top rope. Back in the ring, however, saw Chuck throw Noble out the other side.

Chuck hit a short-arm clothesline on the outside. He set Noble for the Full throttle, but Michelle came over to have words. This distracted Chuck long enough to let Noble recover and push Chuck into the ringpost. Noble kept on the left arm of Chuck. Jamie went up top, but was cut off. Chuck joined him in the rarefied air and hit an overhead throw for a 2 count. Chuck put down some punches from the mount position before hitting a tough back suplex. That scored another 2 count. Palumbo put on a European headlock. Noble got out of it but ran into a back elbow. Chuck set for a fallaway slam, but Noble brilliantly countered into an armbar. Chuck managed to reach the bottom rope.

When they got back on their feet, chuck downed Jamie with one punch. Scoop slam by Chuck was followed with a flying elbow. Or it would have been if he didn't miss it. Noble fired in shots and an enziguri. When Chuck was sat in the corner, Noble launched himself into Chuck. Noble went up top and hit a missile dropkick for a 2 count. Noble was whipped of the rope,. but Jamie again went for the armbar. However, Chuck took advantage of the position to run Noble's head along the top rope. Chuck kicked Jamie in the head and then hit the Full Throttle for the three count.

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7/10 - This SHOULD have been at Wrestlemania. Seriously. It would have filled a "filler" spot quite nicely. All it needed was a feud-ending finish.
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We went backstage to see Vicki was with Teddy Long & Maryse. She said that last week, she told Teddy that she though Vicki was doing a great job as Smackdown's GM and one of the most beautiful Divas around. Teddy couldn't say "Batista!" fast enough at hearing what was obviously tripe. Batista wanted to know what Vicki was going to do about her challenge against RAW's Umaga. Vicki looked to Maryse, who liked the idea, so Vicki decided to make it.

Batista & Kane def. Great Khali & MVP in a "Well, at least one of them has something to do at 'Mania now..." match
After the break, Smackdown's newly named representative came to the ring first, followed by Kane. Great Khali came out next and I finally snap with THE COACH when he reasoned Khali was at a disadvantage because he had a partner! MVP rounded things out, smack talking Batista. then again, he also took his sweet time to get ready. Khali & Kane started things off. Khali worked over Kane in the corner. MVP tagged himself in, to Khali's confusion, and suddenly, Coach might have had a point. Being MVP didn't work out too well for MVP against Kane, as Kane took it to the US Champ before tagging in Batista.

MVP got whipped across the ring and took a forearm to the face for a 2 count. Batista punched MVP in the face corner before tagging in Kane, who laid in some more. Kane booted MVP into the ropes and then booted him down when he bounced back. Kane whipped Porter into his corner before tagging in Batista. Batista blocked an Irish whop and then reversed the next attempt. MVP telegraphed it, but then ran into a spinebuster anyway. He went for the Batista Bomb, but Khali pulled MVP out the ring as we took a break.

We came back to see Batista & Khali staring at each other. They locked up, and Khali shoved Batista down. A Khali punch then sent Batista reeling out the ring. However, Batista dropped Khali on the top rope coming back in, although he then ran into a clothesline for a 2 count. MVP came in off the tag with a choke in the corner. MVP distracted the ref so Khali could choke some more. MVP then scored a long 1 count. Khali came back into it. The Indian worked Batista over in the corner, but he missed a haymaker, allowing Kane to get the hot tag. Kane worked over Khali in the corner, although Khali stayed on his feet. Clothesline by Khali. MVP tagged in again.

MVP ran into a chokeslam attempt, but Khali gave Kane the overhand chop to break that up. Headbutt to Kane from Khali, before he worked over Big Red in the corner. MVP got a cheapshot in before being tagged in. Porter walked into a couple of uppercuts, but got a drop toe-hold for a 2 count. European headlock by MVP. Kane broke it up by turning it into a scoop slam. MVP scored a facebreaker off the knee and a dropkick for a 2 count.

Kane scored with the side slam. Khali was tagged in first and he stopped Kane from tagging Batista. Khali hit a leg drop for a 2 count, which was broken up by Batista. Khali went for the Vice Grip, but Kane went for the chokeslam first. Khali scored another overhand chop before MVP came in. However, MVP came off the ropes into an uppercut. Kane made the hot tag to Batista and The Animal went to work on MVP. MVP blocked the powerslam. Batista hit one on another go, but didn't see that Khali had gotten the blind tag. Khali hit the chop tot he head and called for the Vice Grip. Batista blocked it and hit a spinebuster for a 2 count that MVP broke up. Kane cleared MVP out, but was caught by Khali. However, Batista ran in and hit a spear for the three count. Interestingly, they noted that again, MVP had failed to beat Batista...

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7/10 - I have to say, I rather enjoyed this, even though Khali did a lot of the work here.
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After paying the bills by way of paid-for advertisements, the woman who makes Mike Adamle look a seasoned wrestling announcer, Eve Torres, introduced the video announcing the induction of Peter Miavia & Rocky Johnson into the Hall Of Fame.

Jesse & Festus def. The Miz & John Morrison in a "I MUST meet the champions!" in a non-title match
Just before more commercials, Jesse & Festus made their way to the ring. Afterwards, it was time for the Tag Team Champions to come out. And excitingly for me, next Thursday, Miz & Morrison are coming to my home city of Edinburgh! Normally WWE sends people to somewhere like Glasgow or Aberdeen, if they're running a show there. But because it's video game related and Edinburgh's HMV store has a major gaming department, there's a competition that will be running there. So I MUST go.

Miz got a mic before things got going. He said they had a surprise for their opponents. They cued up a video of their "Dirt Sheet" video from 2 weeks ago where they suggested Jesse had been abducted by aliens and Festus was a virgin. However, the Champs clearly forgot about the "bell" thing, as it rang and Festus went buck on them both, before settling on Miz in particular. He knocked Morrison form the apron before hitting a falling headbutt to Miz for a 2 count. Jesse was tagged in. He hit a senton for a 2 count. Jesse worked the side headlock before knocking down Miz. Jesse rolled Miz up for a 2 count. Miz ducked out. Jesse followed him, but he ran into Morrison.

Miz sent Jesse back-first into the side of the ring. Back in, Morrison took the tag, although Miz was quickly back in to hit his clothesline in the corner. According to Cole he won the Tough Enough he was in! Anyway Morrison quickly tagged back in, but Jesse soon made the tag to Festus as well. He worked Morrison over before things broke down. Miz & Jesse took things to the outside while Festus hit the flapjack for the win!

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6/10 - Fun, fun stuff here. I really like Miz & Morrison anyway and I dig Jesse & Festus. Assuming that Dreamer & Delaney ultimately fail (although I wouldn't book it that way), I would really like to see these two teams go at it. And damn it, I have to get there next Thursday.
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After the break, the RAW Rebound was about the rather confusing apparent revelation that Hornswaggle was, in actual fact, NOT Vince's son. Than again, it was JBL saying it, so I don't think we should be taking it at face value. And afterwards, Cole & Coach pimped that Finlay would be on RAW on Monday.

Big Daddy V & Balls Mahoney wrestled to a No Contest in a "So, Balls is still with the company, then..." match Big Daddy BitchTits came out first before they sent it to a break, giving due prominence to the long-awaited and hugely important return of Kelly Kelly's ex-boyfriend (in so much that the angle was dropped), Balls Mahoney! Well, to be honest, we came back as Balls got in the ring.

And then Big Daddy V squashed Balls. That was until Undertaker made his way out. And he was walking with a purpose as well. Taker kicked V out the ring before giving Balls a chokeslam.

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1/10 - I'm not entirely sure why this was on the show.
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Taker told Edge to bring him the minion to his yard so he can see what's coming at Wrestlemania. They'd both Rest In Peace. We took a break there.

The Undertaker def. Zack Ryder in a "Well, next week, it'll be Hawkins..." match
The entire Rated Rmy came to thee ring, and you knew Edge wasn't wrestling. Maybe it was because Edge was in street clothes and wasn't advertised as wrestling. Or it could be that they didn't blow his pyro. I think the latter is the bigger sign...

Ryder ran away to start with, but he ran back in the ring first and after Edge's presence distracted Taker, he hit a baseball slide. However, a dive onto Taker was caught with Ryder's back rammed into the ring post. Ryder was then sent into the stairs. Zachary was then placed on the apron where Taker did his business. Back in the ring properly, Taker worked over Ryder in the corner before blithely tossing him into said corner, landing on his arm and shoulder. Ryder was then tossed from the ring.

Ryder was clubbed in the back, before going back in the ring. Ryder managed to snap his Taker's neck off the top rope, but dived into a chokeslam position. A Hawkins distraction allowed a low blow for a Ryder 2 count. Ryder got a couple of punches in the corner, but Taker was soon back in control. Zack dodged a charge with an elbow and the took Taker into the corner with a couple of shoulders into the gut. However, Taker dumped Ryder in there himself and threw fists.

Whip across was followed by a clothesline. Snake Eyes was followed by the boot. Taker hit a leg drop, but Ryder kicked out at 2. Taker called for and hit the chokeslam. He then put on the Gogoplata for the immediate tap-out win.

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4/10 - This was just an extended squash. Ryder got a little offence in, but was not even close to being a threat.
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Right on the bell, Edge & Hawkins launched an attack. However, Taker wasn't felling like being beaten, so he fired back. Edge ran away, leaving Hawkins to take the same Chokeslam/Gogoplata combo his former fake brother suffered a minute earlier. Once Curt was coughing up blood, Taker let the hold go and posed with the World Title as the show went off the air.

OVERALL - 7/10 (- 0.5 on last week) - Pretty good show tonight. Nothing bad here and Wrestlemania bubbled along nicely as we hit the final four weeks. I really do hope that IF Matt hardy is going to be able to make it for Wrestlemania, then they start it next week. No MITB qualifiers this week, outside of Jericho, which surprised me, but then again, four weeks and four more places, assuming there will be 8 slots. Apart form those minor concerns though, fine stuff to be had here.