World Wrestling Insanity: Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: How Typical. With So Many Talkshow Hosts Running Around, You End Up With One Talkshow Host Talking To Another...

Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: How Typical. With So Many Talkshow Hosts Running Around, You End Up With One Talkshow Host Talking To Another...

By Aaron Wood Mar 12, 2010 - 7:04 PM

Hello, my Gathering! First some housekeeping...

March 12th & 13th, if you're either in the Atlanta area, or can get there, you should head along to the Sheraton Gateway Hotel to catch LegendsMania, a convention starring a entire plethora of legendary wrestlers and managers. But World Wrestling Insanity will be there too! Our fearless leader James F. Guttman will be hosting a live Question & Answer session, as well as having a table at the event. And some of WWI's writers and ClubWWI show hosts, including James, RDLee, Bull Buchanan and Erik Watts will be in attendance.

JG will be updating his Twitter and/or Facebook statuses as often as he can, so head to twitter.com/JamesGuttmanWWI or become his friend on Facebook (he'll accept anyone, he's a friend-whore like that. Not judging. I am as well...) to keep up with his activities.

And for more information on LegendsMania, head quickly now over to LegendsMania.com!!!

Meanwhile, sending a shoutout to our Vintage Collector, Chris Cooley, who is looking after this year's Yahoo Fantasy Baseball League this season. We could do with more players, so if you fancy taking on Chris, as well as my Yankee-lovin' self as I'll have a team in there, head over to YAHOO FANTASY BASEBALL , join a "Custom League", and enter 153194 as the league ID, and the necessary password, which is guttman.

So anyway, how you doing? I'm tired, sore and working off of a laptop this week, so massive apologies for any and numerous spelling mistakes this week, since my laptop's MS Word dictionary isn't all updated with all my wrestling lexemes. I do have the new computer, and it looks good, but thanks to work, I've had neither the time nor inclination to set it up in my room yet. That said, I have found the time to sort out this week's little interludes in the form of what I was going to do last week. You see, last week, the video for the return track by Gorillaz was made available, and it stars none other than Bruce Willis, so this week, it's a bunch of videos that star Hollywood actors...

Anyway, on with the show!

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: McIntyre lost his first match...again, Dominic Mysterio was no longer Rey's favourite child, The Dynasty failed to do what Bret did and Edge faced the guy who replaced him in Jericho's affections...

THIS WEEK…
We cold opened to the news that for the first time in 2 years, Chris Jericho was bringing back the Highlight Reel, and his guest was fellow talk-show host and Wrestlemania World Title match participant, Edge.

I don't think "Happy Birthday" ever got so much heat before...
We started with Rey Mysterio's entrance. However, he wasn't alone, as he brought out his whole family, with Angie, Aaliyah and Eddie Guerrero's (alleged) son, Dominic. And I would say that Dominic got big, but when standing next to Rey, that's not much of an achievement. Suffice to say though, he's now taller than his daddy.

Rey said that every week, we do the courtesy of letting him in our homes, so this week, he wanted to let us in his. What? He lives in an arena in Seattle these days??? Oh right, his metaphorical home... He introduced his family. Rey too noted that Dominic was taller than him. That said Aaliyah isn't too far off towering over him either. Rey said that the WWE Superstars travel a helluva lot, so sometimes they miss out on some important days. However, as a parent, they go out their way to make their children feel special, and tonight was Aaliyah's 9th birthday. As we was about to ask for crowd help to make it special, a "Happy Birthday" spontaneously broke out! However, Rey wanted hem to sing the damn thing, so he led them in song.

However, instead of "Dear Aaliyah...", we got "WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!", as CM Punk's music kicked in. The Straight Edge Society came out to the ring as Mysterio backed his family into the corner. However, the events of the night weren't lost on Punk, as he finished "Happy Birthday" off for everyone, as Rey covered her ears. He wasn't that tone deaf! Punk said that Rey looked scared, but he wasn't out to put a hurtin' on Rey or his family. Indeed, he was happy everyone was here and it was a day to celebrate. And indeed, he wanted to lay down a challenge to Rey at Wrestlemania. And a match tonight as it goes. But not later tonight. Right. Now. Punk said that his birthday present to Aaliyah would be to let her shut her eyes while he made Rey beg for mercy. And hey, Dominic, we've seen you grow up with our own eyes, but he's never heard Rey squeal like a pig before. And Angie, you and Rey will have shared the best of times, but after he does what he's going to do to Rey, it'll be the worst of times.

Hey, Rey, why ain't we fighting? You a coward? Hey, Dominic knew it, Angie knew it and now the little 'un knows it. On her birthday! Where's the "Giant Killer" at? Where's the 619? Where's the machismo? Punk will tell Rey Rey where it is. Nowhere! He never had it! Punk offered Rey a free shot, but Rey just shielded his family, prompting Punk to slap his face. At this point, Rey left with his family, which prompted Punk to sing "Happy Birthday" to Aaliyah in full once more. Punk was just AWESOME here. If it weren't for Batista being so awesome as he currently is, Punk would be the best heel in the business.

We came back to see Matt Striker & The Legend That Is Todd Grisham as they talked about what just went down.

R-Truth def. The Miz in a "Daniel Bryan...law abiding citizen..." match
The Miz came out first, along with his NXT rookie, Daniel Bryan. I f**king LOVE the way that TONY THE CHIM~! introduces The Miz. However, it wasn't back to NXT we went, but rather to Monday's RAW, as Truth & Wisdom sent ShoMiz a message. Miz got on the mic. He said Morrison and Truth thought they could go on RAW and embarrass the last great tag team. Really? And they said they'd win at Wrestlemania. Really? Miz surveyed the crowd, who thought the faces would win. Well, tonight, the champs would each show the other team what they could do. BECAUSE WE'RE SHOMIZ, AND WE'RE AWESOME! Truth came out next, with his NXT rookie, David Otunga.

Miz took control in the corner, but Truth floated over a charge and hit a jumping heel kick before dumping Miz to the outside. Pescado over by Truth sent it to the break. Back to the action saw Truth back suplex out of a chinlock as Otunga cheered his pro on. Truth scored with a hiptoss and a couple of clotheslines, before a big boot picked up a 2 count. Miz hit the backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for a 2 count of his own. Miz looked for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Truth turned it into a roll up for 2 when Miz reversed for 2 of his own. Miz avoided the Axe Kick, and folded Truth up for a pin with his feet on the ropes. However, Daniel Bryan pushed the feet off the ropes, and as Miz wanted answers, he hit with the Lie Detector for three.

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6.5/10 - Pretty short but fun, and it did the double job of pushing the Wrestlemania match while pushing the Miz/Daniel Bryan feud.
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Otunga raised Truth's arm as Bryan was sarcastically disappointed.

The announcers sent it to another video package for the Undertaker/Shawn Michaels match, again using Johnny Cash's "Ain't No Grave". Awesome video, featuring comments from other guys, such as Cena, Jericho & HHH. This led to a recap of the current card.

We cut backstage to Drew McIntyre when Teddy stopped him in the hall. Long said that they both knew Drew had lost both MITB qualifiers, only to have Vince McMahon expunge them from the record. You proud of yourself, Scotty boy? Drew said he was proud to be the undefeated IC Champion and would be qualifying for the Money In The Bank match tonight. Long noted that Vince also handpicked Drew's opponent for tonight. Thaddeus then said while he can't change the math, he can make it a "Winner Takes All" match, with Drew's IC Title on the line as well as the MITB spot. ISN'T THAT CHANGING THE MATCH?!?!?

THE SCOTTISH INTERCONTENTAL CHAMPION~! Drew McIntyre def. Aaron Bolo in a "If I didn't know that Bolo's first name was seemingly Aaron already, I'd think there was some sort of shoutout going on here..." match to retain the Intercontinental Title & qualify for the Money In The Bank at Wrestlemania
Drew came out first as we saw his two non-losses in the last two weeks, meaning his challenger (who was announced as a three-time state wrestling champion and light heavyweight MMA champion) got an entrance. Is it just me, or is WWE taking more shots at MMA these days?

Suffice to say though, he was killed in about 30 seconds, finished with the Futureshock DDT.

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1/10 - So Drew makes it to Mania after all. I suppose the idea was intended to get Drew some heat, as they tease Drew losing everything, only to find out it's a local jobber he's facing. That said, I think we've found a new favourite for the Money In The Bank match, given the rest of the field.
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McIntyre celebrated hard in winning, going over again to Striker to have him announce he was going to Mania, with Striker raising his arm as well.

Big Show walked the halls as we headed to the break.

Big Show def. John Morrison in a "Well, that's the teams even now..." match
Big Show came out to the ring as we came back from break. Funny how they did that. Morrison came out next, handing his glasses off to a woman at ringside. He must be after some poontang. Morrison came out striking, but was shoulder-charged down before Show got to work. After a headbutt down, Show took a walk over Morrison's abs. Show did a lot of trash talking during the match, actually, as he beat down Morrison.

Big Show locked on a chinlock, while both men standing. That's something I don't think I've EVER seen before. Morrison used his elbows to hurt Show's ribs enough to force his way towards the ropes. Show, however, booted Morrison out of the ring. He looked to take the countout win, but Morrison was able to get back in. Well, I say that. He went to get back in, but Show helped him in most of the way. Morrison got the boots up on a charge and then took out the leg. he then got out of a chokeslam with a kick and then hit a missile dropkick to knock Big Show down for a 2 count. The Shining Wizard scored another near fall, but as he went for The Flying Chuck, he jumped into the KO Punch for a Big Show win.

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6.5/10 - Again, pretty short, but decent enough.
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We went backstage to Teddy once again, who this time was with Tiffany, as they said they had missed each other. They started taking about Mickie James, noting her tweets about her injury. Long said she was doing well, and those sort of things come with the job. Vickie Guerrero walked in, aghast she was around. She was the reason ECW got cancelled! Vickie told Tiffany to go back to babysitting, as she was the only female authority figure. Long had to interject saying she was here to compete. Vickie started giggling, as she had signed her to a match with Michelle.

The Hart Dynasty & Cryme Tyme wrestled to a No Contest in a "Hey, Count von Count! How many finishers does Undertaker have? Four! Four Finishers Mwahahahahahaha!" match
The Dynasty were in the ring as they awaited Cryme Tyme. Tyson & JTG started off, and JTG looked to have the advantage, but Tyson faked out a float over and took out JTG's knee. He wrapped it around the post a couple of times before locking in a Single Leg Boston Crab. However, before too much longer, The Undertaker’s gong sounded, the lights went out, and when they came back on, there he was! Right there in the ring! It's as if he were magic or something! Let's call it there...

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2/10 - Tyson was looking good until Taker showed up. Then everyone died. I’ve not been quite so vocal in the whole "Look how bad the Dynasty have been used recently, even with Bret around" thing, but you'd think they could get more respect than this. We know Taker has a number of finishers in his arsenal.
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Taker went to town on all four guys. Shad took a chokeslam. Tyson took the last Ride. THE REAL CANADIAN BULLDOG was Tombstoned. If only it could happen to the fake one... JTG tried to beg for his life, but was briefly put in the Hell's Gate gogoplata. Satisfied with his destruction, Taker glared at the Wrestlemania sign.

A NXT promo aired. All about Miz & Bryan, saying Bryan was getting a chance to prove himself.

The RAW Rebound was largely about the main event of John Cena vs. Vince McMahon & Others. You know, the segment people tuned out of TNA's Hogan/Abyss vs. Flair/Styles match to see. Yeah, that one. That said, the first part was the Cena/Batista stuff from 2 weeks ago.

We came back to a shot of the outside of Seattle, before the announcers plugged Austin's GM spot on Monday and the Wrestlemania Rewind night. Yeah, the taped Impact isn't going to get killed is it?

Tiffany def. Michelle McCool by DQ in a "Well, after all that, she turned face in the end..." match
Vickie Guerrero came out with Layla & Michelle, and was incorporated into the Simply Flawless entrance. Tiffany's outfit had a whiff of Cherry about it. I approve. Greatly. Michelle shoved Tiffany down before mockingly doing some calisthenics. However, Tiffany gave her an atomic drop and clothesline before booting Michelle out the ring. Tiffany then left as well and continued to beat on Michelle on the outside. However, after a whip into the barricade, Vickie hit a pretty decent shoulder block on Tiffany for the DQ.

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5/10 - Not the greatest match of all time, and it was pretty short as well. This was more to finalise Beth's babyface turn.
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The heels went to work on Tiffany on the outside before rolling her in the ring. However, Beth Phoenix ran out and dumped out Layla and McCool, leaving her with Vickie. She teased playing nice with Guerrero, but then laid Vickie out with a clothesline. She set for the Glam Slam, but before lifting her up, Team LayCool distracted Beth for long enough so she could get out of the ring. As Vickie ran for her life up the ramp, Beth checked on Tiffany and raised her arm in victory.

We saw Kane walking the halls. What's the betting he's first out when we come back from break?

Kane def. Luke Gallows by DQ in a "I wonder if anyone has noticed that Gallows could possibly pass for Kane before???" match
Don't take any of my bets. No, it as Gallows who came out first with Punk & Serena's breasts soon follow by Serena. We jumped back to earlier as Punk taunted Rey's family. The match started with Kane grabbing a side headlock, but Luke took it into the corner, before he punched away. Striker claimed that after losing to Rey last week, Gallows rammed his head into a wall as a way of saying sorry to Punk. Okay...

Gallows downed Kane, but missed an elbow drop. Kane hit the basement dropkick and called for the chokeslam, but Luke ducked out the ring in time. We returned with Gallows in control, as he hit a suplex for a 2 count. We saw Punk's NXT goofball, Darren Young, watching dramatically on the monitor. Gallows hit a BIG splash on Kane for a 2 count, before laying in blows. After getting out of a brief chinlock, Kane hit a big boot. Kane hit the side slam for a 2 count as Striker said "It's like Kane vs. Bizarro-Kane..."! Kane then hit the Flying Clothesline on Bizarro-Kane, but Gallows avoided the chokeslam again and hit a short clothesline for 2. A third chokeslam try succeeded for Kane, but Punk jumped in and attacked for the DQ.

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6.5/10 - Pretty decent big man match, although again, it more served as a backdrop to another, separate issue, in this case, Rey & Punk. Which should be great.
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Punk hit Kane with the GTS, as Rey came out again. He slowly walked down to the ring. Not in a scared way. In a "I mean business MF'er" way. Punk ducked out the ring, but Rey just slipped out the other side and the brawl was on. It spilled into the front row, where Punk managed to get away while Mysterio was held back by every referee under the WWE's employ.

Where's Carlito's Cabana when you need it?
Jericho made his way out, but before he could say anything, Edge made his presence known. And before Edge could say anything, a "Spear" chant spontaneously broke out. Jericho noted Edge's grin. Edge noted the irony that the show was called The Highlight Reel, but the only highlight between them was this move he kept hitting, asking the crowd if they could remember the name of it. Jericho said Edge had the sheep chanting for him, but it was fantasy, whereas he dealt in reality. He always told the truth. And the truth was they could have been one of the best teams in history, but then the selfish swine had to get himself injured! And that was Edge's MO. He gets to the cusp of greatness and then gets injured. And when Jericho was stealing the show with HBK at Mania 19, in Seattle, Edge was injured. Same again next year. However, Edge noted Jericho lost his matches those years. However, Jericho said he was forging his reputation as one of the best ever, and he was doing it injury-free.

Edge said he only knew how to do the job in one way, taking risks. He's dived off 20-foot ladders. He's jumped into flaming tables and landed on thumbtacks. But he did it all without fear. And at Mania, he would take whatever risk he had to, to win the title back. Jericho said Edge had already taken a risk, when he agreed to face him at Mania, because Jericho told him bad things happen to him when Jericho is involved. Jericho then changed tack and said Edge had never had success on his own. Last time he was successful, he was bumping uglies with Vickie Guerrero. Edge said everyone regretted a former girlfriend. For him, Vickie. For Jericho, that would be Big Show. Edge said he did take risks, but calculated ones, and he would win at Mania. Jericho reiterated that he should have stayed away. Jericho said Edge rushed his recovery from the Achilles injury, but it paid off when he won the Rumble. But it would now cost him, because he doubted Edge was fully healed. He was too busy pandering to remember he was still injured.

And while he knew the fans wanted to see Edge celebrate his title win with pyro, confetti and the rest, but reality was that Jericho would be sending Edge home for another six months. Edge said at Wrestlemania he would be making Jericho an ex-champion, and he'd do it with a spear. However, Jericho jumped him with a mic shot and then a stool shot to the gut. Jericho tried to send Edge into the JeriTron 6000 HD, but Edge reversed into an Edgecution. Edge set for the spear, but as he ran in, Jericho BLASTED Edge with a belt shot to the head.

Jericho then mocked Edge and the crowd by saying "Spear" a whole bunch of times, since, you know, it didn't happen tonight. The show ended with Jericho standing over the seemingly dead Edge with his title aloft.

OVERALL - Good show this week, hitting most of the right buttons in building to Wrestlemania. It was great to see Jericho get the upperhand for one, and it was greatly done. Punk & Rey got some really good heat tonight. Assuming they don't tack on a Hair vs. Mask match, I would say they don't need it for Mania and could save it for a B-Show later in the year. Drew is now at Mania and probably the MITB favourite. The tag team title feud participants exchanged wins and there was a great Taker/HBK video, although I found the Finisher demo rather unnecessary. But yeah, fine show.

Aaron has had one of the hardest weeks of working he's ever had, even moreso than any theatre work he's done His feet and ankles are now f**ked. and to wit, next week could well be WORSE... Bugger...

You can find him either on Facebook, MySpace(myspace.com/aaron24wood), or on Twitter(twitter.com/aaron24wood). And don't forget to check out the ClubWWI Twitter feed while you're there. Or if you're into gaming, Aaron's Playstation Network screen name is, you guessed it, aaron24wood as well!