Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Last Stop This Town! Next Stop - Orlando!
By Aaron Wood
Mar 28, 2008 - 8:11 PM

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: The Naturals beat Chris Harris...in a sense, Chris Jericho played acronyms and somehow, The Rated Rmy were once again still on their feet at the end of a segment with Undertaker...

THIS WEEK…
Mark Henry def. Kane, Great Khali & Chuck Palumbo in a "I've never seen a hoss match like this end so quick!" Preview 4-Man Battle Royal
Well. as you can probably guess, we're so full tonight that we just started with Kane's pyro! Big Red made his way out as we saw that Chavo was ringside on guest commentary. Khali made his way out to the ring as we got confirmation of who was in the 24 man Battle Royal, as well as reiterating the announcement that the match will be on the website. That's all I need. An impossibly busy stream to do PBP on Sunday. Chuck came out next on his bike, as they talked about the mass brawl after Chavo vs. Dreamer on Tuesday. They were rounded out, quite literally, by Mark Henry.

Kane went after all three opponents, hitting Khali with a dropkick to the knees and an Undertaker-like DDT. However, Chuck hit Kane with a Big Boot. However, when he charged at Kane, Kane side-stepped him and sent him over the top for the first elimination. Khali & Mark Henry took Kane into the corner and worked him over, while fighting themselves. Kane reversed a Henry whip and worked over Henry & Khali in opposite corners until Henry ran down Kane. Kane got fed to Khali for the Khali Bomb. Henry picked Kane up and dumped him out with ease.

The two big men slugged it out until Khali for the overhand chop. However, Henry surprised Khali, picking him up and dumping him out

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4.5/10 - Very short, and that was to it's credit, as it didn't get dull. Indeed, some might say, despite the men involved, that it was too quick...
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Chavo immediately went after Mark Henry, taking him out at the leg. However, he came off the ropes only to be caught by Henry who gave the ECW Champion the World's Strongest Slam. You'd think they were teasing a face turn for ol' Mizark...

Coach pimped that Edge would be holding a service for Undertaker's Wrestlemania streak before we hit the break.

My girl makes it to the end! And I don't mean Michelle...
Backstage, the remaining women of the Mini-Diva Search are waiting, as Teddy Long walked in. And the diva this week who gets bumped? EVE! The camera focuses on Cherry as she has a look of complete shock on her face. Victoria & Maryse come in to mock Eve. So Long gets an idea. He says there seems to be a conflict, so why not fix it in the ring. He suggests a Wet & Wild Water Fight. After an awkward silence, they go right back to trash talking each other.

CM Punk def. John Morrison in a "Man, this makes up for their average matches before..." match
This MITB preview began with CM Punk making his way out, spying the MITB briefcase hanging high in the air. And then, one half of the BEST TAG TEAM EVER~!, made his way out in his trademark slow motion. And once again, they show the SEVEN people in the match. That's right SEVEN. Not Eight. No Matt Hardy. Live with it. It's SEVEN. They lock up and Punk gets the go behind, but Morrison switches. Punk switches again, getting the hammerlock, but Morrison trips Punk, getting the cover for a 1 count. Punk grabs the hammerlock again, but Morrison elbows out this time. A kick is blocked, but Morrison hits an athletic one to get the hit anyway. However, Punk scored with a suplex for another 1 count. Punk hit a crossbody, sending both men out the ring as we hit a break.

We came back with Punk's leg scissoring Morrison's head, but Morrison put his feet on the tropes for the break. Punk hit a flapjack, and The Shaman Of Sexy took a powder. Punk went to join him, but Morrison swept the legs, Punk's head hitting the apron. Back in the ring, Morrison began to work over Punk before sending Punk's shoulder into the ringpost. He wrapped the left arm round the post for good measure. He set Punk on the apron and kicked the left shoulder, before making the cover for a 2 count. He put on a top wristlock, but stood in front of Punk to do it, putting Punk under his legs. He wrenched back on it, but got back up on his feet. Punk managed to get back on his feet and kick his way out of it. Morrison dropped Punk into the second rope, but came off the middle rope missing a kick, which Punk ducked. They began trading kicks before Punk gave Morrison a back body drop and a monkey flip. Punk hit a low dropkick, before clotheslining Morrison out of the ring. He looked at the case before hitting Morrison with a suicide dive.

Morrison was rolled back in and Punk went up top. Punk missed the dive, but rolled through and hit a snap powerslam for a 2 count. Morrison got a Jacknife pin for 2, but Punk powered up and hit a backbreaker on the knee for a 2 count himself. Morrison pulled himself up in the corner, and blocked a Punk charge before hitting the backbreaker/neckbreaker combo. Morrison hit Punk with a few kicks, but Punk caught one and went for the GTS. However, Morrison slipped out with a sunset flip. Punk rolled through that and catapulted Morrison into the corner. He hit the high knee and bulldog for a close 2 count.

Punk put Morrison up top and followed him up. Morrison fought Punk off, but Punk came back and hit a BRILLIANT HURRICANRANA FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!!! He nailed the frigging thing! Punk crawls over and makes the cover, but Morrison kicked out just before the three. GTS was blocked, and Morrison went for the corkscrew neckbreaker. However that was reversed into the Go To Sleep, which this time succeeded, giving Punk the three count heading to Wrestlemania!

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8.5/10 - EXCELLENT MATCH!!! That was nothing short of brilliant. Never got dull yet Morrison got some heat on Punk. They traded moves, and hit a couple of great high spot all building to the finish. The only thing I would have done is put Punk in a couple more pinning predicaments, especially towards the end, but otherwise this was great stuff.
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Punk pointed at the Mania sign and the case.

Cole & Coach introduced one of the videos about the Floyd Mayweather/Big Show match with the comments from various people like Antonio Tarver and Bert Sugar. Brit Ricky Hatton also had a comment and I’m honestly SHOCKED he turned down the chance to take part here.

We came back from break as Cole sent to this week's Press Conference in Times Square. Funnily enough, we saw more of this than the previous one. Floyd did the money-throwing bit again, while looking absolutely dapper. The final shot saw Mayweather with a comedy huge golden glove.

Kofi Kingston, Jesse & Festus def. The Miz, Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch in a "Now with 66% more Non-Smackdown goodness!" match
We saw the heels already in the ring before Jesse & Festus made their way out, and then, in his Smackdown debut, came the Jamaican dude, Kofi Kingston. I've been watching him on ECW, and I think he's pretty damn cool. I love his fighting style. The bell rang, and in a nice touch, Lance Cade didn’t seem to expect what was coming, as he ran away. Festus gave chase and then hit Cade with a scoop slam. Murdoch got the same, before he smacked Miz off the apron. Jesse was tagged in, who gave Cade a swinging neckbreaker for a 1 count. Jesse put on a headlock, but he was shoved into the heel corner where Murdoch came in off the tag. Jesse hit a drop toe hold and a low dropkick to the head for a 1 count.

Kofi was tagged in, and he came off the second rope with an elbow. He hit a crossbody for a 2 count. Jesse was tagged back in again. He had a whip reversed, but got a foot up to stop Murdoch. Jesse climbed up, but Miz shoved him off to the floor. As the ref busied himself with Kofi, Miz rolled Jesse back in and made a pin for a 2 count. Miz drove a series to knees to Jesse's back before putting on a chinlock. Cade was tagged in, who rubbed his forearm in Jesse's face. Murdoch was tagged in and they hit the assisted leg drop for a 2 count.

Murdoch drove knees to Jesse's back. Jesse blocked the suplex though and hit one himself. However, Murdoch quickly made the tag to Miz before Jesse could capitalise. Miz hit a nice suplex for a 2 count. Miz stretched Jesse out a little as Festus and Kingston got the crowd going. Jesse fought his way back up to his feet and hit a jawbreaker. Murdoch was given a back body drop, but Miz grabbed the leg while Murdoch pulled Festus off the apron and slapped him. However Jesse managed to tag in Kofi. He went to work on Miz, hitting a massive sunset flip (just) for a 2 count. A Russian Leg Sweep was followed by the "BOOP!" Leg drop. Cade & Murdoch broke up the pin, but Festus came in and took care of them. Miz & Kofi were left in the ring. Miz whipped Kofi, but he ducked a shot and hit a the "Jamaican Buzzsaw" for the three count.

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7/10 - A fine and fun match. Again, the heels got heat, but the match never really slowed down or get dull. Wouldn't mind seeing Cade & Murdoch come across to Smackdown actually.
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Jesse join in with Kofi's celebration. He tried to get Festus to do the same. Wasn't happening...

Cole & Coach sent it to the video announcing the final Hall Of Fame inductee, the man of the "suplay", Gordon Solie.

Batista def. Snitsky in a "I would write something smart and clever here, possibly involving Snitsky's look, but that would end up being redundant to put as it would take longer to read than this match took to go from bell to bell..." match
Batista came out first, followed by Snitsky. Immediate Spear. Spinebuster. Batista Bomb. Three Count. That took as long to write as it took to happen.

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1/10 - Yeah...
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After the match, Batista went out and got himself a steel chair, so he could give Snitsky another powerbomb on it.

Michael & Jonathan talked about Edge vs., Undertaker, cuing up a video that recapped Undertaker's Mania wins (not the one with the countdown...), that was taken over, nWo-style, by Edge, promoting it would be 15 & 1. We then saw Edge beat taker for the title with the MITB opportunity before Edge's return at Survivor Series and title win, ending on last week's ConChairTo. AWESOME video. No, really, truly, truly AWESOME.

Michelle McCool & Cherry def. Victoria & Maryse in a "I'm Happy...Zah's happy...everybody should be happy!" "Wet & Wild" match
Eve made her way out first, in her role as guest referee. Victoria & Maryse then came out. Victoria, BRILLIANTLY, was wearing flippers, armbands and a snorkel! HILARIOUS! They were followed by Michelle & Cherry, who was wearing as much of bikini as 50's greaser chicks can manage.

They had a water balloon fight to start with, before a super-soaker came into play. Victoria got confused and started throwing water balloons at Maryse. Maryse started posing given how wet she was before getting a bucket tipped on her. Victoria went for a corner charge, but comically slipped, with Michelle scoring a 2 count. Victoria again slipped when she dropped the bucket. Coach got blasted with a balloon. Victoria used the gun as a blunt object on Michelle. Maryse held Cherry, as a chant for her got going, but she ducked when Victoria threw a bucket of water. Michelle grabbed Victoria and hit the "Wings Of Love" (a Double underhook facebuster) for the three count.

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4/10 - I suppose it sucked, but it was a helluva lot of fun!!! And Victoria is awesome. Man, I'm using "awesome" a lot tonight.
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Michelle & Eve played with the water while Cherry looked timid.

After the break, Cole & Coach went over the Wrestlemania card. I got Goosebumps. And then i dry heaved at the thought of Ashley back in the ring. Then Goosebumps again...

Chris Jericho def. MVP by DQ in a "Man, I'm really pulling for a Jericho move in any draft now..." Match
MVP made his way out first. He got half way down the aisle before cutting a promo. He said everyone calls him MVP, but after Sunday, everyone would be calling him Mr. Money In The Bank. We took another ad break there. We came back in time for Jericho's entrance and his first match on Smackdown in around six years, but at least in my hopes, not his final Smackdown match of 2008.

They locked up with Jericho getting a headlock, before going behind. MVP countered and they fought for a hold. Jericho got the hammerlock on the mat, driving a knee to MVP's back. Porter turned it into a pin for a 0 count, before they ended up in the corner for the break. MVP slapped the taste out of Jericho's mouth, but Jericho took Porter down. He put in some punches but MVP switched for to give some himself. Back on their feet, MVP blocked a whip, but took chops for his trouble. Jericho hit a back elbow, sending MVP out the ring. Jericho hit a baseball slide to MVP on the outside. He rammed Montel's head off the announce table before rolling back in the ring. MVP crawled back in himself. Jericho gave MVP shot as while on the apron, but the double-jump corner dropkick was blocked with a boot, giving MVP a 2 count. He put in shots scoring another 2 count. Jericho laid in a chop, before whipping MVP into the corner. Jericho missed the charge though, hitting the ringpost and tumbling to the outside as we took another break.

We returned with Jericho hitting MVP with an armdrag to get out of an abdominal stretch on the mat. However, MVP hit a knee to the gut for a 2 count. Porter got another 2 count on Jericho before punching at the ropes. Jericho got a schoolboy for a 2 count, but MVP came right back with a jawbreaker. The BALLIN~! elbow drop connected or a close 2 count. Jericho was whipped into the corner, but the running boot was avoided. Jericho went up top and hit a forearm to the back of MVP's neck for a 2 count.

Jericho fired in some chops before hitting a couple running forearms. He then hit the miss-direction clothesline for a 2 count. Jericho charged, but MVP got an overhead belly to belly throw for another 2 count. Jericho hit a Northern Lights Suplex for a 2 count. the step-up enziguri was followed by the bulldog. Jericho then went for the Lionsault, but Y2J met with knees. MVP hit a running kick to the head. That scored a deuce. Porter got caught and Jericho went for the Walls Of Jericho, but MVP kicked Jericho off into the corner, then hitting the running kick to the head. MVP made the cover for another close 2 count.

Porter set for the Playmaker, but Jericho countered into another attempt at the Walls. However before he got it on properly, MVP made the ropes. MVP dropped Jericho onto the top rope before grabbing both championship belt. MVP went to take a swing, that drew the DQ, but Jericho countered anyway and hit the Codebreaker with the title in-between the knees and jaw.

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7/10 - Fine match, but I kinda expected a bit more. But then again, first time they've met, it's right before Wrestlemania and they certainly left me wanting more, so the match certainly worked as a whole!
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Jericho went under the ring and got a ladder. He brought it in the ring and hit MVP in the head with it. He then press-slammed the ladder onto MVP as his music played, before, like Punk earlier, he looked at the Wrestlemania sign and the briefcase.

We came back from break to the John Legend clip, mentioning that he's be performing America The Beautiful.

For once in his career, Undertaker is the one who get verbally buried...
Edge came out, wearing a very dapper-dan suit, while Hawkins & Ryder were a little more casual, but still dressy. Teddy & Vicki were already in the ring. Organ music played as Edge took to the podium. There was a coffin in the ring. You think? Teddy Long was told to introduce Vicki Guerrero and then Edge. Edge read a pre-prepared speech saying they were here to celebrate the demise of Taker's Wrestlemania streak. In each of his appearances, Undertaker had established a level of dominance we may never see again. He ran over some of his opponents in the past. Notably missing was Giant Gonzales...