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Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Something Old (Very Old...), Something New, HBK Was Borrowed And The Smackdown Set Is Blue
By Aaron Wood
 ...
Right first off, I don't know if I'll get a chance to do an audio this weekend. It may well be Sunday and that's RFI day. Plus it's now the only day with "me" time. And if I do indeed do an audio, I have a subject in mind that will take me a long time to rant about (and it will be a "rant"), so with that, I just wanted to do a quick "Mania Thoughts" thing before Smackdown.
Great show overall, although I'm not yet sure where it'll rate in the lexicon of Mania. It should be in the running for PPV of the year no matter what anyone else does though. Finlay vs. JBL - A little disappointed by this, given the lack of blood, but that wasn't a surprise given the placement on the card. Surprised by the lack of blood on the whole show actually. Odd booking as well. JBL plays the bully and then ended up winning anyway? No feel good moment for Finlay & his kid, who haven't shared the screen since the final revelation? Very odd. Loved each and every weapon shot though, because you could see they were having fun doing it. MITB - Fine ladder match with a bunch of stuff I've never seen before. How Shelton Benjamin is alive is beyond me. It's a shame he's so crushingly dull outside of this sort of spot that he can't be rewarded with a push that would expect him to draw money, because then he'd fail there. Some people took great satisfaction to note I said Matt Hardy shouldn't have been in the match. But that was my point. He shouldn't have been "in" the match. A run in, especially the one they did, was perfectly fine. And also, I have just one thing to say to those who said "You can't have a seven man ladder match because someone would always be free to go for the case"...HA HA F***ING HA! THAT'S how you book a 7 man ladder match. Punk winning was a nice surprise too. It's just that, at this point, I don't know what he's gonna be doing... Umaga vs. Batista - Very disappointing match, although from what I saw (this was the beginning of my computer problems...) Batista looked like he tweaked his back, so that might be his out. But it just didn't have anything I expected. I expected announce tables to be turned to dust long before HBK could get near them. I expected numerous feats of power and speed. Didn't really get any of that. Funny thing though, Smackdown won another one of these... Chavo vs. Kane - I don't know if Chavo was really backstage at Impact. I've seen reliable people tell it both ways. Doesn't matter. I wasn't enjoying him as champion. I don't know if Kane's the answer, but he's a better one than Guerrero. Flair vs. HBK - I've seen some people giving this 5 stars, claiming they weren't being sentimental. They were. They probably don't know it yet, but when the cold, hard truth kicks in, they will. They do have some merit with their perfect rating though. The match in concept and booking was perfection. The match in emotion and storytelling was perfect. The execution was, sadly, lacking. Don't get me wrong. HBK did what he was chosen to do. He gave Ric Flair the best match Ric Flair could possibly have outside of HHH again. But when you have a match where there were three notably "botched" spots, you can't say it was perfect enough in every way to garner a perfect rating. I didn't even think it was the best match on the show. But it was a damn fine match. Worthy of being Ric's last. More than, in fact. Divas - It was OK. Ashley was both horrible and not horrible at the same time. The 2 headscissors she did were fine. The rest? Well, horrible. Maria couldn't carry them. Just about enough fun with Lawler, Santino & Snoopy The Dogg to make this worthwhile. Triple Threat - Loved the idea behind this, that they went balls to the wall from the start. It felt different to most WWE 3 ways, and in a good way. Orton was a pleasant surprise, although as a Cena-liker and a guy who thinks that HHH is due a run while also liking Orton, I could have personally taken any result. Fine stuff. Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather - Frankly, there should still be people on the IWC eating a LOT of humble pie right now. No really, they should have started on Monday morning and they should still be munching down on it now. Not only was it a proper match, but it was a fun and entertaining match. Floyd more than held up his end, and indeed, while his seconds got the crap kicked out of them, he still did more than even I thought he'd do. Not only that, but he was reportedly great with fans and workers alike all weekend and he slogged his ass off to promote the match. If Floyd were to ever come back (and that's apparently not as far fetched as it may seem), I for one will welcome him with open arms (as long as he's a fully fledged heel from the start, mind you...)! Edge vs. Taker - Lance Storm spoke to Edge and Edge said that he wasn't entirely pleased with how the match went. Edge is a fool. Best match of the night. In my opinion, a definite contender for match of the year! The story/psychology was truly phenomenal. As was mentioned on the main guys audio (when does Aaron get an invite, huh?), very few people have ever been allowed to kick out of the tombstone, even if there has been a long count before hand. Put it this way, as someone who said form the very millisecond the idea of Edge vs. Taker was mooted "Undertaker is going to win", they even had me believing, on that night, that Edge had more than a good chance of pulling it out. THAT'S how good this was. Also, the run of Charles Robinson was a thing of greatness. Never has a man run so fast as if his life depended on it. So yeah, that was Wrestlemania. Now, as you may or are likely not aware, I started a new job this week. This meant that I had to give up reviewing Impact. However, James found what I have to say is a more than suitable replacement in Fritz Stephey. First thing I did when I got home from work (didn't have time in the morning) was read his first Impact review. Fun stuff. Next thing you know, he'll have an audio! HERE'S THE LINK! Click at your own risk. Not because of the review. The show just sucked. LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: All bets were off in terms of brand extension, the ladies got wet at the sight of rubber that had been filled with liquid, Punk & Morrison more than made up for any mediocre matches and, sadly, Ric Flair was still on the active roster... THIS WEEK… Aah...it's good to see Undertaker's eyes back on top of the Smackdown's opening titles. Her men losing their titles has sent Vicki mad! The men who called the Wrestlemania main event, Michael Cole & Jonathon Coachman tell us that Shawn Michaels will be on the show later to have a talk. See! One taste of the good show and he can't keep away! Anyway, to more pressing matters. That would be the arrival of the newly gold-less Edge, the newly gold-less Chavo Guerrero and the always gold-less Rated Rmy. Vicki (looking very thin and hot) and Teddy Long were also in attendance. And Christ, is Vicki ROCKING the cleavage?!?!?! Edge kicked things off, saying that he'd never felt so ticked off in his life. He felt naked (thankfully, he wasn't...Live sex happens when he wins). He said he felt like he let everyone down. Most importantly, he felt like he let Vicki down. He sincerely apologises and promises to regain his belt. The nine-second wonder, Chavo Guerrero (that would be in terms of wondering how he got the belt for more than nine seconds...), then got a chance to talk. He too felt like he let La Familia down. He let the Guerrero family down. But Kane cheated! He doesn't have the guts to face him face to face. But just like the newest Guerrero (that would be Edge), he too promised to regain his gold. The female lynchpin of the men then took the mic and said as Smackdown GM, she had something to say. She had to stop for some booing, but eventually announced that they would both be getting title rematches at Backlash. And not only that, both of their opponents would be facing each other. Champion vs. Champion. Brother vs. Brother. Kane vs. Undertaker. Again... Matt Hardy def. MVP in a "What the f***? A year and they have them randomly opening up?!?!?" match WAS IT BAD ENOUGH HARDY APPEARED ON RAW TO JOB OUT TO ORTON?!?!?! Jesus, I get why Hardy went after Orton like he did instead of his very first focus on TV being MVP, but did he have to get pinned? I mean, even a DQ loss would be fine. But no. He was staring at the lights for no reason before getting on with what he's supposed to be doing. And then they give the match away on free TV? I thought I gave up TNA, but with this booking, I'm not entirely sure! Anyway, we came back from break to MVP's entrance. I have a feeling there is a lot of sweetener on the crowd tonight. I mean, Montel IS form Miami, after all... The crowd seem to pop big for Hardy though. Hardy stared holes in MVP as he slowly walked down the ramp. MVP tired to get the jump on Hardy, and indeed, managed to get some shoulder into the gut in the corner, but Hardy rammed Porter's head into a couple of corners before hitting a neckbreaker. Hardy pounded away, but they ended up rolling out to the floor. Porter's head was rammed into the guardrail as Cole, wisely, explained the whole angle. Back in the ring Hardy whipped MVP off the ropes and hit a back elbow followed by an elbow drop. That scored a 2 count. MVP got some shots in, but Matt fired back. MVP was whipped off the ropes, where Matt got a clothesline. MVP rolled out for a break, but Hardy followed him out. He clubbed on MVP, and rolled him back in the ring. However, Porter caught Hardy climbing back in, hitting a knee to the head and an inverted DDT. He rammed Hardy's head off the mat, before hitting Hardy in the back. Hardy's head was rammed off the corner before he was sent out the ring by MVP. MVP went out and rammed Hardy's head off the announce desk. back in, MVP dropped a bunch of elbows, before putting on a chinlock. Matt eventually managed to get back to his feet and hit a back suplex to make a break. MVP kicked Hardy in the gut and then a kick in the head. MVP made a cover for a 2 count. He scored another, before stamping on Hardy's head. He did it again. He went up for a curbstomp, but Hardy rolled out the way and then hit a chop block to MVP's leg. Hardy then began to attack MVP's leg. He wrapped it around the ropes and then stood on it. Hardy then slammed MVP's knee into the ringpost. Twice! MVP was sent into the corner, where Hardy scored the bulldog. Hardy made the cover for a 2 count. Hardy went back to work on the knee, but MVP was in good position to force his way out of it, although he chose the hair-pulling route. Hardy continued to brutalise the leg, ramming it off the side of the ring. MVP kicked Hardy off and then rammed Hardy's head on the guard rail. Back in the ring, MVP tired a cover and scored a 2 count. Hardy ducked a shot and hit the Side Effect. He went up to the second rope for an elbow to the back of the head. Hardy set up, but the Twist Of Fate was countered. Hardy pulled himself up in the corner. MVP ran in, but Hardy dropkicked the bad knee of MVP. Hardy set up again and this time scored the Twist Of Fate for the three count. ---------- 7/10 - Good match, with I expected MORE viciousness out of Matt. I mean, he was angrier with Orton than he was with MVP and it was MVP who put him out in the first place. Orton just put icing on the cake. And now they have given us a match on free TV, they're going to have to go better in a rematch for the title. Not that I'm saying they can't. They just have to. ---------- Festus def. Zach Ryder in a "Well, they have served their purpose..." match After the break, the Rated Rmy came out. As they did that , we saw a pre-taped promo with them promising to show what Edge had taunt the "Rated R Entourage". I like that. Why didn't I think of it? Festus was out next with Jesse. For SOME reason, Cole talked about beef jerky. Ryder bailed right away, and Festus followed. He kicked down Hawkins before catching Ryder coming off the apron. Back in the ring, Festus worked Ryder i the corner before bieling him over. He punched away on Ryder in another corner, before whipping Zachary across the ring. Ryder tried a sleeper, but Festus threw him off and started hitting headbutts to Ryder's back while on his knees. Festus made a cover for a 2 count. Ryder slipped out a slam and got some shots in. Ryder trapped the arm, but Festus just powered him off after a couple of goes. A Back squash in the corner was followed by a flying shoulderblock. Fallaway slam by Festus, before hitting the seated splash. Avalanche in the corner. Hawkins was kicked off the apron. Festus went for the flapjack and at the second attempt (Ryder blocked the first), got Ryder out the corner and hit the flapjack for the win. ---------- 4/10 - Festus frigging rules. I could have watched his skit with Snoop Dogg at Mania all day... ---------- Still to come...HBK gets verklempt. We came back form break as Cole & Coach break the news that if Kane & Taker don't face each other, they will be stripped of their title. They then take us back to Monday and Ric Flair's Farewell Address. This may have been one of the classiest moments in wrestling history. And I can't believe they didn't tell Ric what they were going to do, just telling him to make what he had to say short and sweet. The over-run on Monday scored a 4.7 That says it all right there. I will admit it. When I saw the show on Tuesday night, I actually cried a little... Having the Horsemen back was great. And this video was just as great. I personally don't think Flair will wrestle again, but if he did, I pray that it's Flair & Reid vs. Dusty & Cody. Just for fun. We saw HBK walk backstage... This one was coming from a MILE off... And so, for the second time in a few weeks, Shawn Michaels made his way down to the Smackdown ring. HBK said that on Monday he addressed the RAW crowd and did his best to put words to his emotions. He said he didn't do a good job of it then and didn't know if he would do any better now. However on Monday, as the night went on, during the farewell address, he came out and he didn't know what was going to happen. He stood face to face with his idol. And they both welled up with tears and Naitch hugged him. And thus, he got closure... And that's when Batista's music kicked in, and Dave, looking for all the world like a gay biker, came out. Now, if you saw RAW, you'll have seen Batista stare holes in Michaels. And indeed, when he took his shades off, he did much the same. He said that he's glad HBK found closure, but he didn't think the rest of us had. He hadn't. Sunday was one of the hardest nights of his career. Not because of his own match, but because it was the last time he'd see Flair compete in the ring. And he had to say, he was taking it personally. It bothered him that he wasn't going to see Flair's face in the ring again. He loved to entertain, but HBK took that away. Michaels said it was the hardest thing he'd ever done. Batista said he understood. HBK had a decision to make, and deep down, HBK made the wrong one. Michaels protested that. Flair asked for HBK's A-Game and that, because he cared for Flair, was what Flair got. Michaels said that Batista would have done the same thing. Batista said he wouldn't have let his ego get in the way with his friendship. HBK said he had a job to do. Batista said he didn't. HBK doesn't do "jobs"! When he came to the WWE, he heard the stories, but he didn't listen. But he realised he was wrong. HBK was the most selfish man he knew. Batista pondered that HBK should have laid down. Michaels said he was sorry he felt that way. Batista said he could say he was sorry all he wanted, but it didn't change the fact that Flair was no longer there. That he'd never travel with Flair again. He brought up HBK's Old Yeller comment. Batista wondered if that was how he saw Flair. A sick, pathetic, dying dog? And with that, Batista dropped the mic and left. If this was the start of a heel turn, this was helluva way to do it... After the break, the 2 new champions passed each other in the back... Vladimir Kozlov...Yes, that VALDIMIR "I LOVE DOUBLE DOUBLE E!" KOZLOV def. Matt Bentley...Yes, that MATT "HBK'S COUSIN!" BENTLEY in a "Either way...I just have to say "FINALLY~!"..." match And then, after the break...it finally happened. It was on December 18th 2006 that Kozlov first appeared in the audience on RAW. And now, over a year and one bumpage back down to developmental for sucking later, he's finally debuted on WWE television. Is he any better? Could he have gotten worse? And indeed, his opponent just so happened to be Shawn Michaels cousin, direct from TNA, "Bouncing" Matt Bentley. First it was The Naturals and now Bentley... The cool thing, there was NO entrance ready for Kozlov. Not light treatment. No music. Just a spotlight. He didn't look as though he was Mr. "I Love Double Double E" anymore... Kozlov just took it to Bentley. Matthew got some shots in, but Kozlov soon hit a Shock Treatment-like move. ---------- 2/10 - He didn't entirely suck, but this was no way to get a gauge on him. It was VERY weird with him not having music...I mean, I've got the theme they were going to have for him originally on my hard drive, if they need it... ---------- Apparently, it's been four years since the last Taker vs. Kane match. Really seems sooner... THE GREATEST TAG TEAM EVER~! def. Jimmy Wang Yang & Shannon Moore in a "From "The Best" to one of "The Worst"..." match John Morrison, fresh from a genuine MVP performance in Money In The Bank (outside of MVP of course!) made his way out first, followed by the CM himself...Miz... Cole & Tazz pimped the new Dirt Sheet, which is hilarious every week, and I'll have to check out the new one. Miz & Yang started things off. they locked up and Miz got Yang in the corner. Yang grabbed a headlock off the break and then snapped off a headscissors. Moore was tagged in, hitting a dropkick for a 1 count. Moore wrung the arm, but Miz got out of it and tagged in Morrison. Morrison hit a backbreaker, before slapping Yang. The ref stepped in and Moore was cheapshotted by Miz. Morrison hit the corkscrew neckbreaker for the quick win! However... ---------- 4/10 - For the 3 minutes it was, it was fine stuff. ---------- As soon as the three was counted, The Great Khali's music played and the Indian came out to the ring. Unwisely, the tag champs stayed in the ring. He attacked everything that moved, starting with the champs before palming Yang by the top of the head into the ring, before press slamming him out. Moore then took a Khali Bomb. Khali started cutting a promo when Big Show's music kicked in and Floyd Mayweather's personal bitch made his way out. He got right in the ring and eyeballed Khali. He grabbed the microphone and said that Khali got in his face on Monday and tonight he was in Khali's. Khali backed away and left. I'm intrigued at the prospect of both a match between then (if for the levels of suck) and them as a team... Wrestlemania 25 in Houston. I might try and go... Cole pimps that Finlay & Hornswaggle return next week. If there's a phrase that sums up this show, it's "IT'S ABOUT BLOODY TIME!" Teddy Long is in the ring with some guys. Apparently they are the guys behind the bike that's up fro grabs. The owner dude said it was great working with the WWE and the even was big for them. He brought out the finalists. Cherry was first, and now she...HAS HER OWN MUSIC! Still 50's themed mind. Then out came the winner Michelle. She was all popular while Cherry was shy, and all the more hotter for it. The head bike guy announced the winner. Take a guess. Michelle. The bike was revealed. Man, it was pretty poor. As Michelle sat on it, Victoria came out. She told her not to get too excited. She said the contest was a joke. She said she was the number one diva on Smackdown. Victoria went to attack, but Michelle got the better of her...until... NATTIE NEIDHART MADE HER DEBUT! She attacked Michelle, and rolled Michelle in the ring. Cherry tried to make the save, but she was slapped hard. Michelle was sent into the ringpost by Nattie before the Anvil's daughter took her leave. I have to be honest, I think she's gonna look hotter in pictures than TV. Plus, she looks a lot like Beth Phoenix to the point where the spoilers said it was Beth. After the break, Cole & Coach sent it to the Wrestlemania 24 recap. I love that the matches are shown out of order for no apparent reason. When we came back, the new ECW Champion made his way out to the ring. And apparently, it's the second fastest victory in Mania history, so pity poor SD Jones... Undertaker & Kane wrestled to a No Contest in a "So...when is Paul Bearer winning the WWE Title to make this thing an all-family three way?" match We came back from break as Kane awaited his brother's arrival. Now, is Undertaker coming up from under the stage as he seemed to at mania? Again there was too much smoke to tell except that he just appeared. And it should be noted that Taker is back to the trench coat and hat, rather than the old Ministry garb he fashioned on Sunday. He is sporting a new belt though, and it seems to have a big buckle on it... Cole still contests the last match was at Wrestlemania 20. I still say it feels sooner than that. Not saying Cole is wrong. Just seen it so much, you can see what I mean. The two stood and looked at each other. Well, it's as close to a handshake as they get. There was a stand off early on as they couldn't knock the other down. Kane grabbed a headlock finally knocking down Taker with a shoulder block when he was shoved off. Scoop slam scored a 2 count. Taker grabbed and wrung the arm, but Kane reversed it. Taker tripped Kane and scored a 1 count. Taker went back to work on the arm. Kane tripped Taker up and scored a nearfall himself. Taker picked Kane's leg again, and held the ankle, but Kane kicked Undertaker off. They locked up, and Kane grabbed the arm. Taker reversed it and then after working the arm a little went up for Old School. However, Kane dragged Taker back into the middle of the ring. However, The World Champ kept on the arm of the ECW Champ. Kane forced UT into the corner. Kane shoved Taker in the chest and Taker wondered what was going on. They began to slug it out with haymakers. Taker seemed to win it, but Kane reversed a whip and hit Undertaker with a big boot. Kane worked over Taker in the corner. However, Taker grabbed Kane and switched places, swinging in the punches before sending Kane to the outside. Taker followed him out and rammed Kane's head on the guard rail. Kane blocked another go and did it to Taker. Back in the ring, the men fought from their knees. They got back on their feet and Taker ducked a shot to go for a chokeslam. Kane countered with a set up of his own. They shove off and hit each other with simultaneous big boots. And then they did the Zombie Sit up...AT THE SAME TIME! Awesome stuff. However, suddenly Edge, Chavo, Ryder & Hawkins hit the ring and attacked the Brothers Of Destruction. ---------- 6.5/10 - A rather odd match for Taker vs. Kane, but I don't entirely mean that in a bad way, since it wasn't an entirely lumbering slugfest. That said, mat wrestling isn't their strongest point either, but it was at least refreshing. ---------- The heels beat on Taker & Kane. Thing is, they both sat up at the same time again! This time, the champions beat on the heels. The Rated Rmy were thorn out the ring while the champs took their challengers and gave them stereo chokeslams. And then...STEREO TOMBSTONES!!! Frigging Awesome! Taker & Kane stand over Edge & Chavo, titles in hand. We see a recap of the end and the attack before seeing the pair stand at the top of the ramp, looking back at their opponents and holding their titles up as the show ended... OVERALL - 7/10 (- 1.5 on last week) - Good, or at least interesting, show this week. None of the matches were actively bad, and indeed the opener was good. Interesting stuff with HBK & Batista. I'm curious to see how that one goes. I hope it's the beginning of a heel turn for Batista, but it could be a case that they go with "Shades of grey" and HBK shows heelish stuff as well in protesting about how he had to do what he did. I don't think that would work as well as an Animal heel turn though. Anyway, this show gave us something to think about anyway... Aaron Wood is a working stiff/whore of the Stephanie McMahon kind form Edinburgh, Scotland. He started a new job last week and has almost started to fall out of love with computers as he's been staring at a screen all day every day, slowly going bug-eyed as he inputs series after series of numbers. But then again, he did meet someone and, well, he wouldn't exactly say it was a date, but he's going for a drink with her next week. He also has a new and ongoing sympathy for Fritz Stephey. When he's bored, and he gets bored easily, you can normally find him (when he's not at work...) on the WWI Forums or playing "Wrestler" on Facebook with many of his WWI friends. Or he'll be playing one of his many PS3 games, which include Burnout Paradise, Unreal Tournament 3, Uncharted and the new Gran Turismo 5: Prologue. You can find him with the username "aaron24wood", if you want to so battle with him. Aaron's mood today was...wacky. Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on ClubWWI.com : Aaron
Aguliera Christian
Cage Jackie
Gayda Chalie
Haas B.G.
James Bruno
"Harvey Wippleman" Lauer One
Man Gang Diamond
Dallas Page Sylvester
Terkay
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2008 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not
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