Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: A Battle Royal That Isn't For A Vacated Title???
By Aaron Wood
May 9, 2008 - 7:10 PM

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: A sober Italian turned up, Foley still couldn't take off the flannel and Vicki Guerrero literally stripped a man...

THIS WEEK…
We kicked things off with what we thought was going to be a World Title match, which we ended up not getting. That said, there was a title change when Vicki told him off for using the Gogoplata and stripped him of the World Title.

Wow...The Battle Royal isn't to decide the champion...
And we kick off tonight's show how we began to end it last week. With Vicki being wheeled out by Teddy Long and with Edge at her side. She said she had a prepared statement. She opened a HUGE folder and directly read that despite what people thought, she didn't want to strip Taker of the belt, but she had to, and has determined a way to have a new champion. We saw the belt in a case, while she announced that she decided to let one of the men competing for the title be Undertaker. She still barred the Gogoplata though. And who'd be facing him? Well, that brought her tonight. She invited Smackdown & ECW (yeah, screw you RAW...) guys who were either a former World Champion, ECW Champion or US Champion, and they'd compete in a Championship Chase. She noted Khali was back in India recovering, and that Edge was still hurt (Remember the latter...it will become important..). Anyway, the guys she mentioned would have matches and the winners would be put into a Battle Royal at the end of the show.

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

Matt Hardy def. CM Punk in a "So...they're 1 for 1 in tournament matches that they can't possibly win..." match to qualify for the Contendership Battle Royal
After the credits, Michael Cole & Michael Foley introduced the show as Matt Hardy made his way out. Foley said that Vicki's decision sucked major ass, burying it, although Cole put up a fight for it. noting Taker got a pass to the Title match. CM Punk was out next. This should be interesting in terms of crowd reactions...

Foley stopped burying Vicki long enough to praise her for putting the Chase together. Hardy wrung the arm and got the wristlock as Cole noted they just met in the King Of The Ring tournament. Matt took Punk to the mat with the wristlock, as Cole noted Punk already had a PPV match as he would be with Kane to face Miz & Morrison. Punk made the ropes, but Hardy took his time in releasing the hold. Punk reversed the armwringer and scored a couple of kicks before hitting a knee to the gut for a 2 count. Punk used his head as a battering ram, but Hardy scored a sunset flip for a 2 count, kicking Punk's arm to get him over. Hardy countered a Punk corner charge, hitting an Electric Chair. Punk avoided the elbow from the second rope, but Hardy hit the Side Effect for a 2 count. Punk countered the Twist of Fate, and hit the high knee/bulldog (in the middle of the ropes!) for another 2. Punk went for the "Welcome To Chicago, Motherf***ker" (and how much would I give for them to call it that?), but Hardy countered and took Punk over for a 2 count. Punk kept the underhook on and hit the "WTCMF'er" for the second time, scoring a deuce from it.

Hardy pin pointed the arm again, but ran into a high kick to the head. Punk went for the GTS, but it was countered into the Twist Of Fate. But that was recountered by Punk. Punk went for an Oklahoma Roll, but Hardy shifted his weight and Punk found himself pinned for a three count.

Hardy headed up the ramp, noting he got Punk, before inspecting his prospective prize.

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6/10 - Fairly short match, but nice of them to play off the KOR finish. Pretty decent stuff form both guys, with Punk hitting a couple of moves we don't see often.
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Finlay & MVP wrestled to a draw in a "At least the lights going out tells you exactly what the end of the match is..." match for to qualify for the Contendership Battle Royal
After the break, we saw MVP come out, and we also that Mick Foley was NOT...I repeatNOT wearing a flannel shirt! Finlay came out with his boy, Hornswaggle, who was sent under the ring. When the bell rang, Hornswaggle tried to cause a distraction with his tennis balls, but it was MVP who got the jump on Finlay, although Finlay took MVP down. Back on their feet, Finlay took MVP into the corner. When that was broken up, MVP took Finlay down for a quick 1 count, before the Irishman took it back into the corner.

Finlay scored a kick to the gut and uppercut, before stomping the gut for a 1 count. Headlock takedown for Finlay, although MVP broke it up. They went nose to nose before Finlay scored a takedown of his own. However, when he sent MVP into the corner, Porter moved and Finlay ran into the ringpost. MVP put on the Fujiwara armbar (called by Foley) to work on the arm. Hornswaggle tried to rally daddy as we took a break (well, the first part of the show was nearly half an hour long...)

We came back to see MVP was still in control of Finlay and his left arm, using his elbow in the shoulder joint, as Foley noted that Finlay didn't tap at King Of The Ring. Finlay managed to counter MVP's hold into a pin for a quick 2 count. Finlay scored a short-arm clothesline, but he hit it with his sore arm, and thusly felt it. MVP got up and hit the running kick, sending Finlay from the ring. MVP followed him out, but Hornswaggle distracted MVP long enough for Finlay to knock MVP down. back in the ring though, MVP wrapped Finlay's arm off the top rope, scoring a 2 count. MVP set up Finlay's arm on the ringpost, but Finlay moved and MVP kicked the steel steps. Finlay, however, was sent into the guardrail, allowing Porter to score a 2 count.

MVP wrenched Finlay's arm around his neck, before putting on a top wristlock. Finlay was able to rally and turn out of it, but MVP gave the arm a knee-lift. Finlay sent MVP into the corner, but MVP stayed on top, with shots to the shoulders, before kicking the arm. However, Finlay gave Porter a drop toe hold, and worked on the ankle, but MVP grabbed the bottom rope. Finlay gave MVP a scoop slam, making sure that MVP's legs hit the ropes. Single leg Boston Crab by Finlay, as Mickles noted he lost an ear once thanks to the ropes. You may have heard.

MVP kicked Finlay off, hitting the sore shoulder, but Finlay hit the same scoop slam as before for a 2 count. Finlay picked the leg of MVP. However, MVP tried to work an arm hold on Finlay. He managed to put on something akin to the Figure Four, but on the arm. However, Finlay managed to counter and go for the leg, but MVP grabbed rope. Finlay was sent into the corner and he came right back out. They clashed heads, but Finlay recovered first. He gave MVP a back suplex. Both men found their shoulders down, and Mickey Henson counted three, declaring things a draw.

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7.5/10 - The usual goodness form these two, with a pretty good finish, as you may have noted that MVP's leg was on Finlay, meaning he was, technically, at least, pinning Finlay. The problem with these finishes though is that they don't get over with the live crowd because they can't see as closely as we can what is going on.
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Natalya Neidhart def. Kelly Kelly in a "Prefer your uncle's moves, huh? Your father is now crying...while possibly shirtless..." match
We came back as Kelly Kelly made her way out, as Cole noted the one-night only return of Kelly's Expose before Natalya made her way out with Victoria. Nattie took Kelly down, before hitting a snap suplex on her. Nattie then drove Kelly into the corner, before staring her down. Kelly shoved back, but a slap was blocked. Neidhart hit a big powerslam before dropping a couple of elbows. Kelly threw a couple of kicks to the leg before doing the handspring/cartwheel elbow in the corner. However Nattie caught her and dumped her down. Nattie put on a Surfboard submission. Kelly fought back with shots, and then blocked a corner charge, but Neidhart pulled her off the corner and Nattie put on the Sharpshooter for the win!

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4.5/10 - Neidhart MUST be champion within the year, and outside of Molly Holly doing the move, Kelly's cartwheel positioning was pretty much perfect, so good for her.
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Cole sent it to a video with some vox pops with fans talking about Vicki's decision to strip the Undertaker. Naturally, most people didn't think it was justified, except for one nerdy kid, who talked about the consequences of the internal bleeding on the lungs.

Foley orgasmed that Batista was up next...

We returned form break to the controversy over Finlay & MVP's double pin. Vicki Guerrero was shown, and she said she said that it could be viewed that both men lost, or both men won. She was a "glass half full" kinda woman, so both men were in the Battle Royal.

Batista def. John Morrison in a "Oh yeah...Morrison's gonna be big..." match to qualify for the Contendership Battle Royal
John Morrison made his way out (with Mike The Miz), although the pair began randomly arguing and headed to the ring on his own, with Miz heading to the back. Cole pimped that JOEY STYLES~! had just conducted an interview with Natalya, telling us to check it out. Apparently, Joey is going to be showing up in coming weeks to pimp WWE.com. Cool. Batista made his way out next. And it could just be me, but is Batista growing his hair back out. That is a good thing.

The pair circled each other before swung a high kick and missed, although a few more connected before he ducked out the ring. Batista gave chase, but Morrison ran back in. Batista continued to give chase, until he hit Batista with a very cool springboarding baseball slide knocking Batista to the floor. However, when they got back in the ring, Batista drove Morrison into the corner, driving in shoulders. Morrison slipped out a powerslam, hitting a dropkick, sending Batista out. Morrison then jumped out the ring and sent Batista into the steel steps. Morrison set Batista up on the apron, kicking Dave in the head. He then scored a knee to the jaw for a 2 count.

Morrison hit a neckbreaker for another near fall, before putting on a chinlock. Morrison blocked a Batista charge, flipping himself over the ropes to go up top and hit a missile dropkick for a 2 count. Morrison shot the half and got another 2 count. Break dancing legdrop scored a 2 count. Another chinlock by the Shaman Of Sexy. Batista powered up and took Morrison into the corner, but Morrison scored a drop toehold, sending Batista face-first into the corner. Mounted punches by Morrison. Batista went for the Batista Bomb, but Morrison took him over with a legscissors. And then a clothesline took Deacon Dave off his feet. Batista built momentum, although Morrison blocked a corner charge. He came off the middle rope with his turning kick, but Batista speared him. One Batista Bomb later and Batista had advanced.

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8/10 - This may be overly generous, but damn, this was a far better match than I expected, entirely due to the fact that Morrison wasn't killed. Hell, the dude looked like a total star in there, getting so much good offence in on Batista.
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We saw yet another repeat of the video where Vicki stripped Undertaker of the title.

Big Show def. Tommy Dreamer in a "I'm just surprised Tommy even bothered..." match to qualify for the Contendership Battle Royal
We came back from break to yet another match, when Big Show made his way out. He took a good look at the title as Cole ran down Big Show's title reigns. Then lunch made it's way. One order of Tommy Dreamer, who was doing something of a Shark Boy impression as he was bandaged up at the elbow and limping, thanks to his match on ECW. I need to watch this week's show...

Big Show took Tommy into the corner, before clubbing him in the back. Headbutt by Big Show. Tommy tried fighting back, but Big Show downed him again and dropped an elbow. Big chop in the ropes. Hard whip across the ring. Dreamer managed to block a corner charge and hit a double axe handle from the second rope, but Big Show quickly hit the chokeslam for the win.

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3/10 - One day, Tommy will come out for a match like this against someone who isn't just going to kill him... Some day...
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Big Show looked intently at the case as we took another break.

Kane def. Chavo Guerrero in a "Chavo really isn't loved...is he?" match to qualify for the Contendership Battle Royal
Chavo Guerrero made his way out first, along with Bam Neely, jaw-jacking with fans along the way before Kane popped his way out. Huh? Isn't Vicki Guerrero organising this thing and she puts her family in there with the second biggest guy in the field? I bet she favours Edge...

Chavo tried going for the leg, but Kane swatted him away. Chavo went for he leg again, but Kane shoved Chavo into the corner. Kane took Chavo into another corner, where he put in a couple of shots. Chavo was whipped across, but he blocked the charge. However Chavo then found himself press-slammed. Kane went for the chokeslam, but Chavo grabbed the ropes. Kane went for a kick that Chavo ducked, and while hung up, Guerrero kicked away at the standing leg.

Chavo went to work on the leg, wrapping it on the edge of the ring a couple of times for good measure. Chavo then distracted the ref so that THE FENCE~! could get a cheapshot in on the leg. Kane shoved Chavo away, although he mounted Kane in the corner. Kane grabbed Chavo, but Chavo kicked the knee again. Chavo put a Muta Lock on Kane, but he refused to give up, so Chavo did, although he did climb up and hit a missile dropkick. However, Kane sat up and scared Chavo. Chavo ran into a big boot before taking a back body drop and a scoop slam. An elbow drop scored a 2 count. clothesline in the corner, was followed up by a second. Chavo was able to slip out of Kane's grasp and pick the leg before going up top, but he came off into a chokeslam attempt. Chavo escaped and went for a sunset flip, but Kane sat down on it and scored the three count.

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6/10 - It was OK. Not much more I can say than that.
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Kane looked at the belt he wanted and the belt he had as we took a break.

Vladimir Kozlov def. Phil Atlas in a "What a shame the jobber didn't have a globe with him..." match to qualify for the Contendership Battle Royal
We came back as the music-less wonder made his way out. Kozlov hit the ring and took in the complete darkness as Foley talked about how groovy his music was. Again, Kozlov killed the chump and again, I liked it.

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2/10 - The bandwagon starts here, folks...
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THE COLE & THE MICKLES~! once again talked about the stripping, this time revealing the results of a WWE.com poll, with 3/4 saying she wasn't justified. We then saw Batista getting himself ready.

Edge won the "And therein lies the heelish rub" Contendership Battle Royal
Our six finalists made their way out. They paired off, although bizarrely, Hardy & MVP didn't fight. Finlay picked at MVP's knee, forcing MVP rolling out the ring. Big Show got Hardy over the top rope, but he didn't hit the floor. MVP & Finlay attacked Big Show, but those two and Hardy couldn't get any damage in on Big Show. Finlay tried to get Hardy over. Hardy countered, but Finlay fought Hardy off. Big Chop By Big Show to Big Hardy. Sorry, Matt hardy. MVP once again took a powder, running from Batista. Batista & Kane went after Big Show, but Show powered out. Big Show picked Finlay up but Finlay survived. Chop to Finlay. Chop to Batista. And MVP took a powder. Big Show went after Kane as Finlay got Hardy over, but Matt survived. MVP hit Big Show in the kidney, with Kane & Hardy getting shots in too. Big Show fired back on them all before taking everyone down as we hit the final break.

We came back to see that no-one had been eliminated, although MVP took yet another powder to the outside. He came back in to kick at Big Show's legs, but Big Show swatted him away and then stood on him. However, this allowed Batista to try and toss him over the top, although Big Show blocked the attempt. Finlay tried to eliminate MVP, but Porter held onto the top rope, before hitting a running boot. Hardy finally got his hands on MVP, but he didn't have him for long as Finlay attacked Hardy, although Matt countered with a Side Effect. MVP snuck up from behind and eliminated Hardy. MVP hit the running boot to Finlay in the corner.

Big Show squashed Kane in the corner. MVP got a shot in on show, but was swatted away. Batista attacked, but was kicked down. Finlay then took a headbutt as MVP went after Batista, although Kane kicked Montel in the head. Big Show picked Finlay up, but Batista speared him. Finlay grabbed the shillelagh, whacking everyone like they were moles, but Kane kicked Finlay over the top and out. MVP cradled the bottom rope as Big Show loomed. Kane & Big Show squared off. MVP went for his kick in the corner, but Batista moved and MVP sent himself out. Kane soon followed by Big Show's hand. That left us with Batista & Big Show. Batista looked tired and Big Show looked fresh as they circled. Batista got the go-behind, but Show was too quick and elbowed him away. Big Show got Batista in the corner, stomping away on him. Batista went under the bottom rope, driving his shoulder into Show's gut, although a big clothesline took the Animal down. Batista was whipped into the corner. However, Batista dropkicked the leg as Big Show charged. Batista went for a Batista Bomb. Big Show countered, taking Batista over to the rope. However, Batista headscissored Big Show sending him out!

BUT THAT WAS NOT ALL! Vicki sped out with great news. It wasn't over! Why? Edge had just now been cleared to wrestle! So Batista would now have to contend with Edge. Edge sprinted out to the ring and speared Batista off the apron and won the Battle Royal!!! The Rated-R Opportunist had struck again!

Edge made his way up the ramp, before spying the title belt. However, suddenly, a bolt of lightning hit the glass case, destroying it and setting the stand on fire. Taker's bell tolled and Edge ran away as the show ended.

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8/10 - I have to say, that was possibly the best Battle Royal, I've ever seen. It was pretty good stuff. And the ending was both genius and pointless. More later...
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OVERALL - 7.5/10 (+/- 0 on last week) - ...And now it's later, so it was both great and bad. It was bad because if they wanted to set up another Edge vs. Undertaker match, given that Edge is banging the woman who makes the matches, why didn't they just make it? Why would she go to the length of stripping Undertaker (and then putting him right back into the subsequent title match) to set all this up? But it was great given the heel heat Vicki & Edge have gotten over the last couple of weeks. Great fun.