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Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Undertaker's Last TV Show?
By Aaron Wood
LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: A potential future RAW GM appeared, Vicki went EXTREME~!, Maryse needed Cherry...Sorry, that should read "kneed Cherry" and Chuck had a load splashed on his face for the first time since he last saw Billy Gunn...
THIS WEEK… Every show has to start somewhere... We start with Edge backstage. He welcomes us to the show and saying that during the evening he'd be presenting moment that tell the story of Taker's career, which is ironic since this would be the last time we see Taker on Smackdown as he'd be on The Cutting Edge. After the credits, we opened up with Dave Batista, and for once, he's dressed to impress and some like something out of Miami Vice. He started by saying he didn't have a lot to say. If nothing else, he was a man of his word, and with that being said, on Sunday, he was going to hurt Shawn Michaels. That received a mixture of cheers and boos. Batista said he knew some would have a problem with that and asked for forgiveness, but it was now beyond personal. But after the TLC match... Now, while we're talking about a match Vicki made, the widow Guerrero came out to the stage with Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber. She had to wait for the crowd to even have a momentary dip in their vociferous booing to ask him if he knew he was going to be on Smackdown for much longer. Didn't he hear? Vince announced a draft! Plus, since when could he be challenging title holders? Now, he said he was a man of his word, but what happens if he loses to HBK and his trickery? If Dave loses, not only does he look bad, but the whole show does, and as GM she would not be happy. Batista jumped in and told her it had nothing to do with her. It's now about brands! Not even ECW! It's about him and Shawn. So why doesn't the skirt shuffle backstage and look after Edge, or more aptly worry about the beating Taker's going to dish out at the PPV. One of the RMy piped up (F*** knows which one) told Dave he should treat Vicki with respect and shut his mouth. Batista told “Dingus Number 1” to bring it, but Vicki called them back. Since when did Batista dish out the orders? Batista waits for her to make the matches! Let's be fair about this. The Rmy are Familia, so let's have a tag match. Hawkins & Ryder vs. Batista and anyone he can get. Batista mocked this notion, and I would too. It's Hawkins & Ryder! Why does he need to bother finding anyone? Hell, for poops and chuckles, I'd have told Nunzio to lace up his boots. We saw the first of the Undertaker clips, beginning with, naturally, his debut. We then saw Matt walk backstage as we were told he was next. Matt Hardy def. Elijah Burke "Twice on TV in two weeks? That's almost a push at this point!" match Matt made his way out first as I notice that we, in the UK, are getting some heavy editing on the audio front tonight form Cole & Foley. God knows why. Burke came out next, as Foley defended Hardy's claim he'd be the fightingist champion, but was yet to have a title defence, saying Hardy wanted guys to earn title shots. What a douche. Burke took control early, but Matt reversed a head ram in the corner before coming off the ropes with a clothesline for a 2 count. Burke forced hardy into the corner while in a front headlock. However Hardy teed off on him out of the corner. But Burke came back with the 4-Up, before hanging Hardy's neck off the rope for a nearfall. Chinlock by Burke was fought out of. In the corner, Hardy had a charge blocked by an elbow. They slugged it out, but Hardy punched Burke off the top, allowing Elijah to hang Hardy off the rope again. Burke came off the middle rope with a fist drop for 2. Foley suggested Elijah vs. Jeff Hardy in a "weird off". THAT'S A FRIGGIN' SQUASH! Back to the chinlock, while Foley suggested Matt was in love with Eve. Hardy tried countering with a back suplex, but Burke held on. Another back suplex broke it up though. Side Russian sweep by Hardy saw him to up to the second rope, with the elbow to the back. Side Effect was blocked. Backslide by Burke was countered into a Side Effect, which Foley seemed to think we didn't see often. How many Hardy matches has he watched? A Hardy bulldog was blocked, but Hardy just gave him a Twist Of Fate instead. ---------- 6/10 - Decent enough opener, but it just felt like an outing and an easy win for Hardy, who doesn't have a PPV match. I can only hope this is the beginning of a push that sees Burke get the apparent "breakout" win the announcers said he was in need of. ---------- Elijah asked the alleged lord above what he had to do to get a win. Jamie Noble found his nuts again, huh? Matt's apparent squeeze, Eve, was backstage as she introduced MVP. He came in and stopped her yapping as he said no-one card about Hardy and that he was the most athletic guy on the roster. Apropos of nothing, Jamie Noble walked in. He asked Eve to leave, saying he heard Montel making excuses for his losses. Noble said they were alike. MVP disputed this. Noble took offence to MVP's short jokes, challenging him to a fight. MVP said he wasn't going to fight him backstage and risk injury. MVP said he'd see Vicki, and Jamie said he'd see him in the ring. Finlay def. Chuck Palumbo by DQ in a "Is this what they mean by "Chain Wrestling"?" match After the break, Finlay and Hornswaggle came out to the ring, where they saw a guy with one of Hornswaggle's hats on. The goof. And speaking of goofs and hats, Chuck came out with a top hat on, looking for all the world like Slash, although he does a far better job of it than Lance Hoyt does. He even wore the hat into the ring! They locked up, but it ended up in the corner, although Chuck quickly got the heat, taking it to Finlay with kicks and punches before knocking Finlay down. The aggressive Chuck worked over Finlay in the corner before hitting an overhead throw. However, Finlay ducked out the way of a charge with Chuck's shoulder going through the corner and hitting the ringpost. Fujiwara armbar. by Finlay, as Finlay worked over the now injured limb. Finlay quickly broke it, preferring to work over Finlay ion the corner. Chuck pulled Finlay out the ring, before following, but Finlay sent Chuck into the steps. Back in, Finlay hit a dropkick to the kneeling Chuck's shoulder. However, Chuck came back with squashes in the corner. One of them missed, but Finlay ran off the ropes only to run into a big boot. Shoulderbreaker by Palumbo saw a nearfall. Chucky P went up to the middle rope but the senton missed (Well, I assume it was a senton). It ended up outside, with Finlay being whipped into the side of the ring. Hornswaggle made an appearance and Huck caught him. Finlay made the save, but was downed by Chuck. Palumbo got a chain off of his bike (not the bike china though) and whacked Finlay with it, drawing the DQ. ---------- 6.5/10 - Fine stuff from these two again. Give them longer and they could have a helluva match. I would have Finlay totally knocked out though, not just rather woozy. ---------- As Finlay recovered form the shot, Chuck left, happy with his work. Backstage, The Rmy & Vicki talked about the match with Batista. Jamie Noble walked in and asked for the match with MVP. She made it to get rid of him. Noble checked that there'd be no tricks (such as no Big Show), and, in a funny moment, all three told Noble to get out. Next Undertaker clip was him throwing Foley off the top of the cell, and then the chokeslam through the cell. Foley claimed to remember the match well. That is clearly some head Foley has on him. CM Punk def. John Morrison in a "So, he's not losing EVERY match then..." match After the break, The Shaman of Sexy made his way to the ring, along with his tag partner, and if you haven't seen it yet, check out the latest Dirt Sheet as the boys conduct a seance with Kane's father. Golden stuff. Punk came out next, as Cole reiterated what the MITB case meant, hinting that he could take advantage after Edge/Taker on Sunday. The ref, who looked new, ejected The Miz right away. Punk waved goodbye and then caught Morrison with a roll up for a 2 count. He then hit a bunch of kicks to the leg before hitting a roundhouse to the head. Morrison ducked out and snapped Punk's neck off the ropes. Punk picked a leg and made a cover for nearly a 1. Morrison got the mount, putting punches in, before putting on the Masterlock Full Nelson. Punk countered into a GTS attempt, although that was blocked. Punk hit the high knee/bulldog combo for a 2 count. Punk caught Morrison with a powerslam for a 2 count. However, Morrison then caught Punk with a spinning kick for a deuce of his own. Morrison's suplex was blocked and Punk, brilliantly, lifted Morrison up and onto his shoulders and hit a Go To Sleep for the three count! ---------- 6.5/10 - Once more, these two can barely do wrong, although it was too short to rate any higher. Finish was a nice sequence though. ---------- Batista & Big Show def. The Rated Rmy in a "Well, may as well build a little redundancy into the system" match Deacon Dave made his way out, once more, for his match. Foley noted, as I did, that Batista was entirely capable of going this one alone, which Cole practically pissed himself with worry. Justin Roberts went to introduce his partner, but Dave jumped on the mic saying that he didn't need one. Hawkins & Ryder came out with Vicki, who stayed on the ramp. Vicki wondered where Dave's partner was? No partner? Well, it's gonna be a handicap match. Batista said he didn't NEED a partner, not that he couldn't get one. But then, for whatever reason, Big Show's music piped up. Big Show appeared behind Vicki and wheeled her away. The Rmy headed up the ramp to investigate only to see Big Show come back out. Batista and Big Show shared a hug. Batista & Hawkins started things off (and apparently he cut the promo earlier). Batista easily took it to Hawkins. He dumped Hawkins into his corner before driving shoulders to the guts. Big Show was tagged in. The big chop was next. Hawkins scrambled and tagged in Ryder. Ryder tried to run, but Big Show pulled Ryder in by his head. With one hand. Batista tagged back in. Ryder went for a cheapshot, but Dave blocked it. Ryder continued to run, but Hawkins came in and attacked Batista. They took Batista into their corner and worked him over. Batista quickly came back though, hitting Ryder with various slams. Hawkins tried the cheapshot, but Batista wasn't buying it. Batista hit a spinebuster and set for the Batista Bomb. Hawkins jumped in, but only into Show's catcher's mitt of a hand. Simultaneous finishers for the cannon fodder and Dave scored the three count. ---------- 6/10 - It was what it was. It was 2 huge guys whopping the asses of a pair of superstar jobbers. ---------- Next Undertaker clip was from last year's Rumble that Undertaker won after the amazing ending with HBK. After the break, we saw Cherry with a helluva shiner on her eye as the doctor told her she'd be OK, when Maryse came in, claiming she needed attention. She may have hurt her ankle last week. You know, while she was kicking Cherry in the face. MVP def. Jamie Noble in a "Someone has been studying their Japanese tapes again..." match MVP came out first, and it seems as though someone forgot to pack properly as MVP's tunnel wasn't present as per usual. And then Jamie Noble came out. And that's all I have to say. MVP was aggressive out the gate, but Noble got a drop toehold, wrenching on the ankle, before working on the leg of MVP. However, he came off the ropes with a punch to the stomach. A slam scored a 1 count. MVP hit knees to the guts of Noble. That scored a 2 count. Hard whip into the corner by MVP, as he continued the gut work. Forearms to the ribs were followed by an abdominal stretch. MVP got Noble in a Fireman's Carry before press slamming him. However, Noble caught MVP with a dropkick to the knee. Noble hit more kicks, before hitting an enziguri and a rolling splash into MVP in the corner and a knee drop off the ropes for a 2 count. However, MVP dropped Noble on the ropes. MVP then hit a Shining Wizard for the three count! ---------- 6.5/10 - Far closer match than I expected and it was all the better for it. ---------- And the next Undertaker clip played, as we saw how Taker followed up the Rumble win with Undertaker's win over Batista at Mania 23. Cole confirmed that we'd see Santino Marella vs. Jimmy Kimmel's Cousin Sal next week. Yay for me. Vladimir Kozlov def. Shannon Moore in a "Man, they really are going up, quality-wise, one wrestler at a time..." match We saw Shannon already in the ring before the world's most cheeriest man made his way to the ring. And Foley quickly hit the "Sambo" jokes. But Kozlov wasn't laughing, as he dished out his regular beating. Indeed, I don't think Shannon put up as much of a fight as Funaki did... ---------- 2/10 - You know the routine. ---------- Michelle McCool def. Maryse in a "Well, I'm distracted by Cherry's beauty too..." match The science teacher who loves life made her way out to the ring, as Cole ribbed Foley about Melina, noting what happened the last time Mick had a crush. Maryse came out with Deuce & Domino. Foley tried singing instead of his poetry. This time, it was The Beatles! Well, at least he's improving his references. Michelle hit a takedown and then a fireman's carry for a 1 count. McCool grabbed an arm and took Maryse over for a 1 count, before rolling through a sunset flip, hitting a dropkick for a 2 count. Maryse took Michelle into the corner and did the Kevin Nash choke with her boot. But Michelle hit a boot of her own. The boys distracted Michelle, which allowed Maryse to hit a chop block. As Maryse put on a Single Leg Boston Crab, Cherry came out to the leg. This allowed Michelle to counter into her heel hook for the tapout! ---------- 5/10 - Well, Michelle continues to show some proficiency, while Maryse continues to show improvement too, so I can't call it as anything other than a win. ---------- And then we had our last Undertaker clip, and we went from all of Undertaker's glories to Undertaker's worst moment at the hands of Edge when Edge cashed in his second Money In The Bank shot to beat Undertaker for the title. If only this show ended a few minutes earlier... We came off our final break as Edge made his way out. And I realise that on this final show before the PPV, THE COLE & THE MICKLES~! did NOT run down the PPV card! No final shill for Sunday! Cole noted this was the first time the World Title had been fought over in a TLC match, which is, of course, true. The World Title was hung high above the ring with a big ol' ladder set up in the ring as well. Edge said that since he came to Smackdown, he's had a spectre by the name of The Undertaker. For over a year, they have battled for the belt (is that including both your downtimes for injuries?), but on Sunday it HAS TO come to and end. On Sunday one of them has to grab that beautiful belt and become champion. But if Undertaker loses, he's banished from WWE. And they ain't pulling a Mick Foley on ya. He's not coming back in a month on RAW. He's gone for good. How can Edge be so confident? One word. Experience. All night we've seen the tributes to Taker's career, but he now had one of his own. One that highlights their respective experiences in TLC matches. Undertaker's video was first. Or it should have been. Oh wait. Taker has never been in one! But he knew someone who has (Spike Dudley? Hurricane? Kane? Flair?). He knows of someone who has set the standard of TLC matches. Someone whose legacy is in TLC matches. Someone who has defined TLC matches! This guy! We shot to the signature film trailer-video, this time themed around Indiana Jones. And it wasn't one of the trailers where the film was in the movie, as the best part would be on Sunday. But it was time to introduce his guest for this evening. The Undertaker. Undertaker came out, and he meant business. Well, either that or he left his coat and hat with MVP's tunnel. Taker got in the ring and the pair circled the ladder. Edge surmised that the Deadman might be finding it tough since this was his last appearance on Smackdown and that he might not be comfy around all the plunder. But he had a solution. Something he was familiar with. With that La Familia came down with a big casket. Undertaker decided "The hell with this" and went on the attack. The numbers game caught up with Taker for a while, but he fought back as Edge crouched by with a chair in his hand. Chavo was set for a chokeslam on the casket, which was when Edge pounced with a shot to the back. He then hit one to the head, to down the Phenom. The Familia then rolled Taker in the ring and opened the casket. ConChairTo-like shot (but without the other chair) saw Taker rolled in the coffin. Edge got the mic and told Undertaker to get used to it while the others put their weight on the lid. Edge began to climb the ladder in a symbolic gesture of him becoming Champion again. However, the bell tolled and the lights went out. When they came back on, Undertaker was suddenly at the top of the ladder. He shoved Edge off the ladder and was about to chokeslam him through the table in the ring. Ryder saved his leader, but ended up taking the Last Ride through the table instead. Taker posed as the show ended. OVERALL - 6.5/10 (+ 0.5 on last week) - Decent enough stuff. While I may have noted, negatively, that the announcers didn't run down the card, I certainly wouldn't say they didn't push the PPV hard, because I think they did. I don't think they shut up about it the whole night, even during times when what was happening had nothing to do with the PPV, even if it was just the TLC and Stretcher matches that got the lion's share of the talk. And there was certainly nothing bad on this show. It's just that there was nothing really here that was a must-see bit. Aaron Wood is mightily pissed off with the postal service in the UK right now after they managed to not deliver the same letter to two different locations, while taking nearly 3 months to do so, putting upcoming possible employment at jeopardy. Assholes. But beyond that, he has had a fine week, after getting an ad hoc day off on Wednesday, when he also went to a show you can hear all about in this weekend's audio. When he's bored, and he gets bored easily, you can normally find him on the WWI Forums or playing "Wrestler" on Facebook with many of his WWI friends. Or he'll be playing one of his many PS3 games, which include Burnout Paradise, Unreal Tournament 3, Uncharted, Gran Turismo 5: Prologue and GRAND THEFT AUTO IV~!~!~!~!. You can find him with the username "aaron24wood", if you want to so battle with him. Aaron's mood today was...competitive... Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on ClubWWI.com : Aaron
Aguliera Christian
Cage Jackie
Gayda Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Bruno
"Harvey Wippleman" Lauer Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Diamond
Dallas Page Harley
Race Sylvester
Terkay
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| All content contained here Copyright 2008 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
