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Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Colin Delaney Main Events...AND WINS!
By Aaron Wood
LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Big Show elected to be the most pointless man on the planet, Chuck chain-wrestled and Undertaker made the latest of his many Smackdown appearances, with many more to com...oh bugger...
THIS WEEK… And naturally enough, we kick off this week with a recap of the TLC match from Sunday, and well...you may have heard about it. Well, don't I look quite the fool now, huh? And we cut right to the arena with La Familia in the ring and some NUCLEAR heat form the crowd. They had Champagne (in plastic glasses) as Vicki (eventually, since she kept repeating her opening line to louder and louder boos) introduced the guy who banished Undertaker from the company and the new World Champion, Edge! And you know something. Usually, when they play the music, you can't normally hear the crowd. Here, you could still hear THUNDEROUS booing while Alter Bridge did their thing. Edge hugged everyone, and I noticed how much of a goof Bam Neely is with a plastic Champagne flute in his hand. He thanked the whole family, and unlike people form LA, they were the real deal and genuine friends. And then there was Vicki. Edge said he heard the kid from Jerry Maguire was in the audience, and so to quote "You complete me". And then, of course, there was himself. On Sunday, he did what no-one else could. He ended the career of The Undertaker, and became World Champion. Don't worry about Undertaker though, because Edgeward did him a favour. If Undertaker had somehow won, Edge would have hunted him down, and run him out the company a shell of himself. Hell, he lost a TLC match to the master of the TLC match! Nothing to be ashamed of! Hell, Taker should be thanking him. So here was a toast to The Deadman. Rest In Peace there, fella! And then the lights went out! Was it him? Could it be him? No...they came back on and Edge was all "GOTCHA!", as La Familia pissed themselves laughing. Edge said life worked in mysterious ways. As something dies, something else blossoms. Vicki got back on the mic with an announcement to make. In 5 weeks (July 11th), Edge and Vicki would be getting married live on the show! My first wedding! The boys doused Edge with booze when who should make an appearance but Batista! Vicki wanted to know why he was out there. Batista just wants to party. He wanted to wish Edge & Vicki the best of luck. They deserved each other. JUST KIDDING! They both make him sick! Hell, he hoped they had ugly kids! No. Really...he did... Batista said he had one more thing to say. Last week he said he'd be challenging the winner of the TLC match, and that was, funnily enough, exactly what it was doing. However, Vicki came prepared! She was going to mention something later. He wasn't going to get a title shot, because Animal-man had to remember she gave the orders and so he had to earn it. He would have an 8 man match against La Familia with his partners being of her choosing. Nice touch there, showing she learned from letting Batista get his own backup last week. Thing is, if Batista's team were to lose, Batista ain't getting ANY title shots. Great segment. We saw RAW's Santino Marella doing warm-ups backstage before sending it to the break. Finlay def. Chuck Palumbo in a "Well, they could hardly save it for the next PPV, could they?" Belfast Brawl match We came back to see Finlay & Hornswaggle come out to the ring. Horny dived under the ring as usual as Cole welcomed us to the show. Slash then made his way out, pretending to be Chuck Palumbo. No wait. That IS Chuck Palumbo. Chuck stopped to rev the bike only to see Hornswaggle get a piggy back ride on it. Chuck went for the little guy, but this allowed Finlay to get the jump on Chuck. Finlay chased Chuck to the outside after the bell rang, as he rammed Chuck's head into the guardrail. However, Chuck sent Finlay into the steel steps, before booting Finlay in the head. Chuck went looking under the ring before pulling out some plunder. However, Finlay dropkicked a trashcan into Chuck. However on the outside, Chuck hit him with the can, before kicking Finlay. Finlay was rolled back in the ring, before Chuck followed. Finlay caught Palumbo with a drop toe hold into the can. Finlay then stomped the can into Chuck's nuts. Finlay sent Chuck out the ring, but Chuck fought back with a right hand before sending Finlay into the rail, then hitting an overhead throw on the mats. back in the ring, Chuck scored a 2 count. Palumbo then stripped one of the buckle pads. However, Finlay got his hands on a Shillelagh, although Chuck saw it coming as he hit a big boot. Chuck went out and got the chain he had last week, and loaded his fist with it. Hornswaggle ran in with a low blow (or in his case, high blow). Chuck went after him again, but this allowed Finlay to get hold of the dropped chain and hit Chuck with it for the three count. ---------- 6.5/10 - Fine enough, but it was certainly still shorter than it should have been. ---------- As the Irish pair celebrated, we looked up in the sky boxes to see a sullen MVP sitting and watching the show on his own. So, is he or isn't he? The apparent Number one contender to the ECW Title made his way out. And indeed, his left eye was f***ed up. Big Show said his shot at being a model was out, but hey, it was an "Extreme Rules" match, but screw that, he was the contender for the ECW Title, because off... Cut to the match on Sunday and Big Show's post injury rampage, and Sandman-like pin on Tommy Dreamer. We saw a close up of his eye as he said he was onto a bigger challenge than that match. Kane was a champion for a reason... And that was when Mark Henry chose to make his bow. Big Show was talking about challenges? Look at himself. He had the audacity to tell Mark he had to pick on someone his own size. But what did Big Show do? Get involved in a match using sticks! And hell, Big Show still got battered and beaten and now looked like that! We saw a replay of the spot that saw Big Show hurt his eye and then some pictures of them fixing the wound. That isn't exactly a look of championship material. Big Show said that even with a bad eye, he could see Henry was full of it. Big Show challenged Henry to a fight, and Henry started to walk down the aisle. However, Mark decided he didn't need to get himself some on this occasion, before heading back up the ramp. Backstage, Cousin Sal and Roddy Piper got ready. And black really is Piper's friend... We then saw an advert for the new UK show that is replacing Sunday Heat. WWE Vintage Collection starts on Sunday and I'm gonna review it. I've been itching to do a second show again. Well, not really, but this should be fun if they actually get inventive and don't show the same stuff we've seen time and again. Great Khali def. Deuce & Domino in a "Back from India already and with a personality transplant???" match We came back from break to see Deuce & Domino (sans Maryse) make their way out to the ring. Cole noted that Maryse had a match later, hence her absence before seeing Rick Rubin in the crowd. And then, yes, Great Khali made his return from India. And yes, he was working as a babyface! Deuce started things off for his team, taking the offence to Khali, but to no avail. Khali told Deuce to bring it, but Khali just palmed Deuce's head, before pushing him down. Domino came in, and got nowhere. Big Boot by Khali to Domino. high choke in the corner by Khali. The Greasers decided 2 on 1 was a better idea, but Khali quickly killed them both with a pair of Khali Bombs. Khali pinned Domino for the win. ---------- 4/10 - Khali as a good guy? I'm not sold as of yet. This was OK, but OK at best. I just doubt how good Khali will be at taking a beating and then making the big comeback. ---------- Which will last longer? This, or the Martial Arts Title? Backstage, Vicki was joined by all the Smackdown & ECW Divas. She said she was a woman of power in a male business. She compared herself to Moolah. Now, she was disappointed because there was no Women's Champion. But that was changing, since there was soon going to be a new Women's Champion. A SMACKDOWN Women's Champion. Tonight, there would be a "Golden Dreams" match with the winner being one of the people to fight for the "Divas Championship". I honestly don't get why they think they need this. Sure, some of the women are improving, but frankly, there is not enough talent for 2 women's titles, in my opinion. Plus, this isn't TNA. The Divas aren't the highest rating segment (since they don't seem to attract that 50+ male demo that the Knockouts seem to). Michael Cole (who looks as orange as, well, an orange) and Foley sent it to a recap of the whole Cousin Sal/Santino feud. You now, because it's been all RAW, and yet, for some reason, the payoff is on Smackdown. Jimmy Kimmel's Cousin Sal def. Santino Marella in a "Can't the celeb's lose just once?" match Santino Marella made his way out after the break, as Cole talked about the latest "Santino's Casa". It's not a touch on The Dirt Sheet! Sal then made his way out with Roddy Piper and Jimmy Kimmel. And boy, Sal was wearing a kilt! And apparently, Kimmel is banging Sarah Silverman (who was in the front row)... Lucky ass Motherf***er!!!! She totally makes my belly fizz... Sal took off his attire to reveal a singlet. Santino offered handshake which Piper told him not to fall for. Sal went for it, but Santino pulled it back. They locked up, but Santino got the takedown. Sal took advice from Rodney The Piper. The pair then began to...CHAIN WRESTLE! Sal picked a leg, but Santino got out of it. Santino offered up a free shot. Sal grabbed a side headlock, keeping it on despite Santino's attempts to shake him off. However, Santino took them into the ropes. However, Sal got in a slap before putting Santino up for an airplane spin! Sal then dodged a charge and hit a suplex for a 2 count! Marella got angry and slammed Sal. He jaw jacked with Piper. As the ref dealt with Piper, Santino went to run off the ropes. Kimmel tripped him up, the distraction allowing Sal to roll up Santino for the win! ---------- 6.5/10 - Really, I should be rating this higher! I don't know what Sal has done in the past, but hell, he looked pretty damn good for a "regular Joe". Indeed, I would posit that Santino looked worse between the pair of them, because the moves Santino hit looked bad. But to be fair, that could be because Sal didn't know entirely how to cooperate fully. This segment was a lot of fun though. ---------- As Kimmel and Sal celebrated, Santino decked Sal from behind. However, Piper made the save. After the break, we took another look at the sulky MVP in the Sky Box, as he was arguing on his phone. We saw a replay of the finish to the last match. backstage, Kimmel was tending to Sal. Eve ran in for an interview. However,. Kimmel jumped in to talk for him. He said Sal had another fight lined up. Big Show. Sal grabbed Kimmel in a headlock, but Big Show pulled Sal off. We cut to see Morrison & Miz play keep-away with Hornswaggle's hat when Finlay walked into the scene. Hornswaggle re-appeared with a water gun, squirting the tag champions. Either it's not Kane & Punk taking on Miz & Morrison on ECW next week, or the next subject for the Dirt Sheet is set up for sure... Backstage, Edge readied la Familia to go, but he wanted to talk to Chavo. Edge said that they were family. He pointed out that he was about to be Chavo's "Uncle Edge". So he wanted Chavo to be his best man. He and Vicki wanted kids. Another wrestling dynasty! Chavo seemed bemused at this idea as they shared a hug. Natalya def. Everyone Else in a "She just beat everyone...shouldn't she get the title now?" "Golden Dreams" match This was basically a pole match, showing that Vince Russo isn't entirely dead to the WWE, with a golden star as the prize. Brilliantly, Cherry is still billed from "The Other Side Of The Tracks". Cole put over Victoria as being the only person who was a former champion. Maryse went right after the prize, but she was, naturally, stopped and they all paired off. Cherry dumped Maryse out before going to the star. However, she was pushed off the ropes by Victoria. Kelly hit a headscissors on Victoria, but Natalya dumped her out. Michelle dumped Natalya, before going for the star. Maryse cut her off, but Michelle kicked the Canadian down. Michelle was all alone, but Layla cut her off tat the last minute. It was then Victoria's turn to stop McCool. Victoria hit a superplex as Natalya powerbombed Victoria. She then grabbed the star to earn either a title shot or a chance of a title shot. You know, I'm not too sure... Cole seemed to think it was the title shot, but that wasn't the impression I got from Vicki. ---------- 3/10 - A mess of a match. I don't really mean that in a bad way. There was just a lot of women and not a lot of time. it was just a few spots and a finish. ---------- After the break, Cole sent it to a recap of the press conference regarding the Million Dollar Mania. And HHH even did the Dr. Evil impression! Nice million dollar podium! Vladimir Kozlov def. Jimmy Wang Yang in a "At least someone got him down this time..." match We immediately cut form that to a guy who will never get a million dollars, as Jimmy Wang Yang made his way out. The lights went out as the musicless-wonder, Vladimir Kozlov, came out. Foley suggested that instead of calling Kozlov's matches, he just make a string of bad jokes. Yang went on the offensive, but Kozlov pretty quickly stopped him, before ducking a kick, and hitting a boot to Yang's chest. Kozlov put on a Single Leg Boston Crab. Yang made it to the bottom rope. Kozlov rammed the knee off the canvas. However, he missed an elbow drop. Yang kicked Mad Vlad in the head and went up top. However, Kozlov avoided the moonsault and hit a head-ram to Yang's back. Vladimir then hit a belly to belly suplex for the three count. ---------- 4/10 - And we keep building... ---------- Kozlov stared at the replay before we cut backstage to see Eve and Batista. He wasn't really concerned about who his partners would be, hoping Edge was getting ready to take a beating. Batista, Nunzio, Funaki & Colin Delaney def. La Familia in a "Well, it's not as if Edge's side had any kind of advantage.." match La Familia made their way out to the ring first, with Bam & Vicki in tow. We saw MVP again, sulking in the stands. Batista then made his way out. Batista waited on the steel steps as he waited for his partners. First out was Nunzio, who wanted Batista to help him warm up. Next out was Funaki. And then it got good. Next out was the jobberiest of all jobbers...COLIN DELANEY! Batista could stand Nunzio. He could take Funaki. He threw his hands up at Colin Delaney. Hell, the Job Squad had to console Batista that THEY were on his team! Thing is, as Foley noted. Funaki & Nunzio were former Cruiserweight Champions, and matching them up against Hawkins & Ryder, what exactly had the Rmy won? Vicki cackled as the faces got in the ring. Batista started things off for his team, while Ryder started for his. Batista took it to Ryder right away. Zachary quickly made a tag to Chavo. They locked up, but Batista easily took Chavo into the corner. Batista hit a pinch out of the corner. He hit a bodyslam and leg drop on Chavo for a near fall. Batista did the boot choke in the corner, before working on Guerrero's arm. Batista hit a Jackhammer Slam (no, really, the dude used Goldberg's move) on Chavo. He then tagged in Colin Delaney. Batista sent Colin into Chavo for a 2 count. Colin pounded on Chavo as we took a break. We came back from break to see that things had very much changed, as Hawkins was killing Colin Delaney. He tagged out to Ryder as we saw that Bam killed Colin with a clothesline on the outside. The Rmy continued to work over Delaney as a unit. Hawkins scored a 2 count on Colin before tagging in Chavo. Back suplex by Chavo. Edge came in off the tag. Edge vs. Colin Delaney. Greatness. In the corner, Edge worked over Colin, before whipping him hard across the ring to the other corner. Colin took a hard kick to the back by Edge. Edge put on a headlock and teased the faces. Edge dumped Batista off the apron and made Colin tag in Funaki. He booted Funaki down before tagging in Chavito. Uppercut by Chavo. Funaki blocked a shot, but he ran into a dropkick. Hawkins was tagged in. Kick to the back and neck snap by Hawkins before Ryder came in. Neck Vice. Funaki got up, but was cut off by Ryder. Hawkins came back in. Chinlock by Curt. Again, Funaki fought back, but was bieled over. Edge was tagged in. However, Funaki blocked a charge and went for the Tornado DDT. Edge blocked that and tagged in Hawkins. However, Funaki avoided a charge and Batista DEMANDED the tag. Batista took it to Ryder. He then hit everyone off the apron, before hitting a spinebuster on Ryder. he readied to the Batista Bomb, but Edge came in from behind with the Edge-O-Matic. Nunzio ran in and went after the champ. He was dealt with. Funaki & Colin came in too, but was put down, with Colin taking a spear form Edge. However, Batista recovered enough to spear Chavo & Hawkins at the same time, spinebuster Edge and then boot a diving Ryder. Batista Bomb to Ryder and Batista booked himself a PPV date with Edge. ---------- 7/10 - Fun match that told a good story, with the jobbers being jobbers and Batista having to do all the donkey work, and it allowed the heels to get god heat on someone while allowing Batista to get the win. ---------- Edge looked shocked and Vicki looked pissed as the show ended. OVERALL - 6.5/10 (+/- 0 on last week) - Fun show this week, as we advanced beyond the Undertaker/Edge feud, with some interesting stuff. Batista stepping up to face Edge is natural, but I hope the next six months isn't just the two of them with Undertaker mixed in when he returns (which have no doubt he will, since he's really just taking some time off). I hope the draft puts someone new in the mix. The MVP thing I found interesting. I want to see why he's being pissy up in the nosebleeds. But beyond that, pretty fun show. Aaron Wood is somewhat relieved when he thinks about how there's only a few weeks left in his job, while anticipating his next one. Also, as he may or may not have mentioned (since he's writing this bit before the show), he's readying for the debut of the "WWE Vintage Collection" show this Sunday, of which he'll be reviewing. When he's bored, and he gets bored easily, you can normally find him on the WWI Forums or playing "Wrestler" on Facebook with many of his WWI friends. Or he'll be playing one of his many PS3 games, which include Burnout Paradise, Unreal Tournament 3, Uncharted, Gran Turismo 5: Prologue and GRAND THEFT AUTO IV~!~!~!~!. You can find him with the username "aaron24wood", if you want to so battle with him. Aaron's mood today was...better than yesterday's... Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on ClubWWI.com : Aaron
Aguliera Christian
Cage Jackie
Gayda Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Bruno
"Harvey Wippleman" Lauer Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Diamond
Dallas Page Harley
Race Sylvester
Terkay
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| All content contained here Copyright 2008 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
