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Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Batista vs. Khali...One Last Time???
By Aaron Wood
LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Sal beat San(tino), Vicki imagined she was a deceased pensioner, Vladimir Kozlov beat the piss out of Yang that was used to fail a test and Batista realised what it must have been like for Snow White...
THIS WEEK… Couldn't Batista have gone instead of Taker? We start things off in a darkened arena as Vicki Guerrero is introduced and revealed in the ring with a contract signing set up. She welcomed everyone to Smackdown. The future Mrs. Edgeward welcomed us to the contract signing for the World Title match at Night Of Champions. First out would be Batista. Batista decided to stand as Vicki said she was looking forward to the title match, since he would be facing the greatest World Champion ever, that being Edge. Batista derided this notion. However, Vickster revealed that Edge had already signed the thing and it was her turn now, which she did. Batista began to notice that the contract was a literal tome. Vicki said she was aware that his lawyer reviewed the thing this morning, but before going on air, she decided to amend it. He had to be victorious in another match tonight to get the title shot. And it would be against Great Khali. Batista almost laughed at the idea, noting he'd beaten Khali before. And the only thing uglier than the beating Edge would get at Night Of Champions is the woman he's marrying. BURN!  He signed the contract and left. However, before he got to the top of the aisle, Vicki pulled him back to point out another amendment. If he didn't beat Khali later, he's get the same treatment as The Undertaker, and be banished from the WWE. This got Batista to put his serious face on, as he stood there irate as we went to break. I don't know if this was a UK only thing, but for NO APPARENT REASON, when we came back from break, we were treated to a "Did you know?" graphic, telling us how many people in the US watched WWE TV every week. Don't ask me why... John Morrison def. Finlay in a "May as well make this for Night Of Champions now, huh?" match Finlay and Hornswaggle came out first as we saw last week backstage when Finlay and Hornswaggle made the challenge to Miz & Morrison for the tag titles at the PPV. Please...no... Miz & Morrison came out next. Lock ups went nowhere, but Finlay then took control hitting a bodyslam for a 2 count, prompting Morrison to take a powder. Finlay followed him out, but was tripped on the apron by Morrison who then kicked him off. Morrison rolled Finlay back in, but Finlay rolled right back out. Morrison dived over, but crotched himself on the apron. Miz went after Finlay, but he missed and Finlay sent Hornswaggle into Mizanin. Back in the ring, Finlay regained control, but Morrison hit a twisting spin kick while Finlay was in the corner to knock him over to the floor. Kick to Finlay who was laid on the edge of the ring, scored a 2 count. Sleeper by Morrison. Finlay countered with a jawbreaker. However, Morrison hit a neckbreaker for a nearfall. Back to the sleeper. Finlay got out and began to build momentum, scoring a near fall from a kick. Miz got hold of Hornswaggle as Finlay scored a 2 count. This distracted Finlay long enough for Morrison to roll Finlay up and score the three count. ---------- 6/10 - Decent enough, but short. It'll sure being interesting to see if they can make a team with Hornswaggle on it a legit contender to the Tag Titles. ---------- We sent it to a retrospective of Batista's career. Well of sorts. We saw him win the 2005 Royal Rumble. This was to get over that this might be his last night in WWE. Nice touch, I suppose. It's gonna take longer than four weeks to make Punk a legit contender... Backstage, we saw Eve Torres, who introduced her guest, Edge. He said he wanted Batista to win, as a Batista loss would be Smackdown's loss. Plus he fancied beating Batista once again. He then referenced the video we just saw. He took the credit for that, because he wanted to honour Batista's career. Suddenly, CM Punk showed up. He congratulated Edge on setting a date for the wedding, before hinting that he could cash in the Money In The Bank shot. Maybe even on the wedding day. Mark Henry def. Tommy Dreamer in a "Big Show...man or future Panda?" match As Mark Henry came out, we saw a promo of Henry's where he used visual aids to show that currently, Big Show had one bad eye. And if Big Show got in his face, he's have a couple of shiners... Tommy Dreamer than made his way out to the ring. He getting more Smackdown matches than on ECW these days... Dreamer tried a lock up, but Henry shoved him off and laughed. Dreamer punched away, but was knocked down. Henry then kicked Henry in the back, before standing on him. Bodyslam by Henry as Cole told people to re-register for McMahon's money on RAW. That's a bit of a chore... Speaking of something that was a bit of a chore, Henry continued a beating, until a corner charge was blocked. That said, this is Tommy we're talking about here, so Henry just picked him up and gave him a World's Strongest Slam for the win. ---------- 3/10 - It was what it was. ---------- I like this idea... Backstage, Vicki was talking with some chick who was the wedding planner, when Edge came in all scared about Punk cashing in the MITB on their wedding day. MVP then walked in looking to renegotiate his contract, as he felt his talents were being under-utilised. Edge took exception to MVP calling himself the most talented guy there. Vicki asked what he wanted. She noted that Teddy fixed MVP's contract, she could take a look at it, if he did a favour. CM Punk had been a problem for Edge and he needed dealt with. MVP got the drift and told her to remember this when he agent called... Cherry def. Maryse in a "Well, given what happens later, I suppose this is the blow off once and for all..." match We came back as the future Mrs. Zah, Maryse, came out and Cole told us that Vicki would be scouting the women over the next few weeks. Then the future Mrs. Wood, Cherry, came out as we saw a replay of Maryse's knee to Cherry's nose. And instead of her timid self, Cherry went right after Maryse. Foley noted that Michelle McCool sent him a card on his birthday as Cherry continued to go after Maryse, who tried to stall afterwards, although Cherry took her down. Maryse tripped Cherry and put on a European headlock as the announcers debated what Vicki was looking for in an opponent for Natalya. After a while, Cherry managed to battle out the hold, but was driven into the corner. However, a charge was blocked, although Maryse countered a bulldog into a roll up for 2. However Cherry then hit a nice Hammerlock DDT for the three. ---------- 4.5/10 - A bit sloppy, but OK. ---------- We went to Cole & Foley at ringside, who again talked about the chances of it being Batista's last night, before sending it to a video of Batista's opponent, Great Khali. We then saw MVP walk the halls as he got ready for CM Punk. MVP def. CM Punk by DQ in a "Can't Punk even cheat properly?" match Cole & Foley lamented the chances of them being broken up in the draft as MVP came out, although Foley did fancy teaming with JR... Cole thought he'd be better off with Adamle as Punk came out. They locked up and Punk scored the takedown as they talked about MVP's funk since losing the US Title, and why he wanted to renegotiate it. Punk scored another takedown off a side headlock, but MVP rolled Punk over for a 1 count. MVP then countered into a European headlock, before scoring a takedown himself. Punk countered with a headscissors to the head. MVP got out of that brilliantly and got a side headlock back on. Punk got out of that and scored a spinning heel kick for a 2 count. Punk went to a headlock, before kneeing and stomping the back. Back to the side headlock on the mat by Punk. However, MVP countered and began to work on the back and ribs of Punk, hitting a back suplex for a 2 count. Punk wrung MVP's arm. MVP tried to roll out, but Punk rolled with him. However, MVP scored a running elbow to the head, before kicking the head for a 2 count. Montel barred the arm. Punk got back up, but MVP punched him right back down again for a 2 count. MVP continued to work on the arm of CM Punk as Foley debunked the draft for the Punker as he could go anywhere anyway. Punk scored a kick to the head for a 2 count. Punk avoided a corner charge and hit a hiptoss for a 2 count. Punk went back to using a headscissors on MVP, but again MVP got out of it. Punk started hitting kicks, following with a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Punk charged MVP in the corner, although a second charge was avoided. Punk charged, but Porter moved and he went shoulder first into the post. Porter then sent Punk's shoulder into the post twice more before we took a break. We came back as MVP was getting a 2 count on Punk. He then went back to work on the shoulder, driving a knee into it for a 2 count. MVP tried to bar the arm again, but Punk countered into a rollup for a deuce. Armbar takedown by MVP. MVP barred the arm and tired to get Punk to submit. Punk got back to his feet and hit some knees to the gut. However, Montel stayed in control with a kick to the arm for a 2 count. MVP set for a big kick, but Punk fired in a clothesline. Knee lift by Punk scored him a long 1 count. Punk avoided being sent into the corner and hit a kick, before hitting three more to the head for a close 2 count. MVP avoided the high knee in the corner, but got a headscissors takeover for a 2 count. CM Punk then climbed up to the top, but MVP kicked the rope and crotched him. They fought over position and Punk knocked MVP down with a headbutt. He went for an elbow drop, but MVP got his knees up. MVP exposed a turnbuckle. The ref noticed and went to put it back on. MVP got the briefcase, but Punk kneed it into MVP's head. Charles Robinson caught Punk holding the briefcase, saw that MVP was down and called for the DQ. ---------- 7.5/10 - Well, I thought that this was a fine match, but it was a poor finish, since the crowd was quiet for a lot of the opening, and then when they were getting into it, they did that finish, which took the steam out of things. But I enjoyed the story told and they did some good stuff on the mat. ---------- Foley doubted that MVP made his case for re-negotiation despite actually winning. We sent it to a recap of the ONS main event as we saw Undertaker's last moments in the WWE. Matt Hardy def. Chuck Palumbo in a "Oh dear God, not Chavo..." match We came back from break to see Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely in the ring. He said he would be Edge's best man at his Aunt Vicki's wedding before introducing his opponent at Night Of Champions...Matt Hardy! Cole & Foley wondered if there was possibly some nepotism going on when Hardy came out. Hardy stared Chavo down as the heels left the ring and took a seat at ringside. Well, Chavo took a seat. Neely was forced to stand. They locked up as Foley claimed that like Chuck making a bike for Chavo, he was making a clay pot for Batista. Hardy put on a Full Nelson, but he was picked up and rammed into the corner. Palumbo then knocked Hardy out of the ring. Chuck rolled Matt back in and hit a back suplex for a 2 count. Palumbo put on a chinlock. Short arm clothesline by Palumbo scored a nearfall. hardy drove Chuck into the corner to get out a headlock. Hardy was punched down, but a Palumbo senton was missed. Matthew then blocked a corner charge. Matt hit the Side Effect for a 2 count. Elbow the back of the head by Hardy was followed by the Twist Of Fate, leaving Chuck staring at the lights. Chavo announced "the winner of the match and the loser at Night Of Champions". ---------- 6/10 - Again, it was decent but short, and crushingly predictable by the end, as Chuck didn't get that much heat on hardy. ---------- We saw another Batista highlight as we saw him defeat HHH at Wrestlemania 21. We came back to another WWE factoid before Cole sent us to a recap of this week's RAW where Vince (BADLY) gave away some money. After that, Eve had Vladimir Kozlov as her guest. She asked about the possibly tougher opponents in the coming weeks. He said something in Russian. More Batista highlights. This time, it was Batista ending the reign on King Booker at Survivor Series 2006. Jesse & Festus def. Deuce & Domino in a "Well, it was only a matter of time" match BISCUITS & GRAVY! Jesse & his fat, bald virgin of a friend came out as Cole & Foley debated what would happen if Jesse & Festus were split in the draft. Then came our greasy losers. And, as per usual, the bell rang and Festus went right after his opponents. However, for once, Deuce & Domino got away. Deuce & Jesse started things off. Jesse scored a dropkick to the knee and then one to the head, followed up by a back splash for a 2 count. He then hit a Thesz Press as Deuce came out of the corner. Domino came in and distracted everyone so Deuce could hit a leaping kick to Jesse. Deuce dropped Jesse on the ropes, before tagging Domino, who hit a leg drop to the back of the head. Big leg drop by Domino scored a 2 count. Domino put on a hold, but Jesse got out it. Jesse tried to make the tag to Festus, but was cut off. However, Jesse then blocked a double team by the Greasers and then managed to tag ion Festus as Foley started making bad Back to The Future references. Domino countered the flapjack, but was hit with the crotch splash for the three count. Jesse & Festus left victorious. however, all was not well with D&D as they began arguing over their loss. Then Domino decked Deuce, before a good ol' Pier 6'er broker out. Domino left as Deuce wanted some more. ---------- 6/10 - Again, very decent tag match, but entirely too short to mean much. Shame it looks as though they're breaking up D&D. But who'd have thought that Cherry would be the one to step up and be the start they made first. ---------- Another Batista "highlight" saw one of the last times Khali and Batista faced each other, as Khali put on the Vice Grip. We even heard a snippet of Runjin Singh. How I miss him...well, not really, but Khali does need the mouthpiece... Batista def. The Great Khali in a "So, is that the shortest ever babyface run?" match And it was time for our main event of the evening, as Justin Roberts explained the various stipulations before Batista made his way out. Funnily enough, they gave Batista some extra boost in his pyro (or it seemed that way) and then gave him something of an extended intro, giving him a chance to pose for all the fans. Khali then made his way out. Cole noted that Vicki, at the very least, didn't make this No DQ and let everyone and their dog get involved. before the combatants locked up, Edge & Vicki appeared at the top of the ramp. Batista put some shots in , but Khali fired back, sending Batista in the corner. Batista ducked a shot and then hit a shoulderblock. However, Khali didn’t move and then hit a big boot that somehow caused Dave to run backwards and out of the ring! Batista got back on the apron, but Khali hit a headbutt, sending Deacon Dave back down. Khali decided to go out and get him. One-foot cover scored a 2 count. Khali hit a bodyslam and then a leg drop for another 2 count. Khali worked over Batista in the corner. However, Batista finally ducked a shot before driving shoulders into Khali's gut. Batista stopped himself being sent into the corner. However, he jumped off into Khali's hands. Khali hit the Khali Bomb. However, Dave kicked out before three! Khali put on the VULCAN PINCH OF DEATH~!. While Batista got out of it, he was downed with a clothesline. Khali called for the chop., but it was blocked, but Khali took Batista over with the arm. However, out of nowhere, Batista hit a spear and won the thing! ---------- 5.5/10 - Now, I know I said there was NO CHANCE of undertaker losing to Edge and being banished and that I turned out to be wrong, but seriously, there was no chance in hell of Batista losing here, so there was no real intrigue. Even when Khali hit the double handed chokeslam, there was no sense of Batista losing. So what we ended up with was the same as every other Batista vs. Khali match. Slow and lumbering. And again it was short, although that might to it's credit on this occasion. ---------- Edge and Vicki stewed on the stage as Batista got back to his feet, staring a hole in the duo as the show ended. OVERALL - 6/10 (- 1 on last week) - Meh, this was alright, but nothing that special. It's main premise was something that was never going to go any other way, and so there really was no premise. Beyond that, they confirmed the other 2 title matches for the PPV, which means that. to their credit, every title, with the exception of the IC Title already has a match set with a few weeks to go, and you know what the IC match is going to be. The only unknown is if this "Divas Championship" Title is going to also feature. But then, that would be 9 matches on this show, so a couple would end up getting the thin end of the wedge. By the way, as an aside, since on the forums, I am often, and entirely inaccurately, accused of double standards when it comes to WWE doing something akin to what TNA did and having differing opinions on it (which if I have ever done, if solely because WWE did it better), I just want it noted that I think that, just like TNA calling their Women's Title the "Knockouts Title", the name "Divas Championship Title" is also rather dumb, in my opinion. While "Diva" is the catch-all term in the WWE for their women, when it comes to in the ring, "Diva's matches" are often seen as those that are done for T&A purposes (such as the bikini contests and the like). And given that when it comes to the Heavyweight Title and the Tag Titles, there is a distinction made between "WWE" & "World", I don't see why Smackdown's version of the belt can't be simply called the "WWE Women's Title" while RAW has the "World Women's Title". But then again, as I stated at length last week and was prompted to do so again on the forum, I have an issue with the existence of the title itself, so frankly, the whole name thing is absolutely secondary. Another issue I had with this week's show was that there was a LOT of (rather badly done) audio editing, where Cole's voice would change from what was clearly done live at the time to something he recorded in the studio. It sounded terrible and something that some rookie could have done. Plus, was it just me tonight, or were they acting as if they were expecting a lot of new viewers to the show. It seemed to me, listening to Cole & Foley, they were explaining the backgrounds to what was going on a lot more than usual and that, for a regular viewer, they needed to. It was especially apparent in the clip from ONS. That felt weird. Anyway, I'm off for sleeps. I might be back at the weekend with an audio show, but I'll certainly be back on Sunday with another recap of the WWE Vintage Collection, the first episode of which you can still catch the review of here: Aarons The WWE Vintage Collection - Ep.1 (Hogan, Undertaker & Savage) Later days! Aaron Wood went to the dentist today. Have some sympathy. Plus, given the sad state of dentistry in the UK, he had to pay a lot of money for the privilege of having someone drill holes in his teeth. However, on the bright side, he might be getting a sweet job for the Edinburgh Festival. When he's bored, and he gets bored easily, you can normally find him on the WWI Forums or playing "Wrestler" on Facebook with many of his WWI friends. Or he'll be playing one of his many PS3 games, which include Burnout Paradise, Unreal Tournament 3, Uncharted, Gran Turismo 5: Prologue and GRAND THEFT AUTO IV~!~!~!~!. You can find him with the username "aaron24wood", if you want to so battle with him. Aaron's mood today was...pained... Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on ClubWWI.com : Aaron
Aguliera Christian
Cage Jackie
Gayda Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Bruno
"Harvey Wippleman" Lauer Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Diamond
Dallas Page Harley
Race Sylvester
Terkay
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| All content contained here Copyright 2008 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
