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Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: The Tale of Of Charles Robinson Became Edge
By Aaron Wood
LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Batista forgot to read the book of a match contract, Punk screwed Punk and Deuce & Domino showed why it was a worthwhile venture to change Cherry for Maryse...
THIS WEEK… Vicki does have a point, Montel... We start things off this weeks with MVP literally lounging in the VIP Lounge. He'd even dressed DOWN for the occasion this week. Indeed, MVP said it'd be different tonight, since in a few days the Draft would take place and everyone in the company was eligible to get shifted and anything could happen. And you know, that was cool, because he was the guy everyone wanted on their show. And as he thought about it, he was cool with wherever he went, as he wasn't just the highest paid, but most talented guy on the roster. And a change of scenery might be good, because, wah-wah, his talents weren't being utilised properly by Smackdown. Maybe because they're dumb and don't know what they're doing. Or maybe they are too busy getting ready to be married or what-not. He brought up La Familia by name before Vicki was rolled out by Lackey #1 and Lackey #2. Vicki wondered who MVP was going to her show and trashing her family and campaigning to be moved. Porter didn't mean to insult her family...BUT, last week, she told him to beat CM Punk and her did! Vicki disputed this, in so far as it wasn't what she told him to do. And hell, he won the match, but he barely did that! MVP said he got his hand raised, as per their agreement, but when his agent called, she didn't answer. Now, he didn't want to leave Smackdown, but he kinda felt he wasn't wanted, and if that was the case, he didn't want to be there. Vicki said that, with all due respect, she didn't have the time to do this crap in public, but he needed to remember he was still under contract. So if he wanted challenged, he could go ahead and face the ECW Champion, Kane. Again. MVP looked annoyed and Vicki looked smug before we saw Matt Hardy walk backstage and towards the ring. Matt Hardy def. Bam Neely in a "Well, it'd have been poor form to be any other way..." match Matt came out first to pop the crowd as after we saw the confirmation i graphic-form, Chavo & Bam came out and almost no-one cared. And man, do Neely's legs ever LONG in his trunks. As they started out, Cole & Foley debated how much Hardy could have scouted Neely in the past, with Foley reaching for the couple of tag matches on ECW as a way of completely getting Bam's work down. Hardy started out hot, hitting an enziguri, but Nelly caught a running crossbody and dropped Hardy on the top rope. He then worked a sleeper, but Hardy got back to his feet, although Hardy was downed and they went back to the hold. Hardy elbowed out of it, before going for the Side Effect, although Bam blocked it and hit a big boot. That scored a 2 count. Neely then choked in the ropes. Hardy in some shots but ran into a clothesline from THE FENCE~!. And back to a chinlock (which is almost what Foley said on commentary verbatim). He applied a bodyscissors to really synch it in. However, again Hardy got out of it via jawbreaker. The Twists Of Fate was blocked, although Bam missed a charge, before falling victim to a bulldog from the second rope for a 2 count. Swinging neckbreaker that wasn't a Twist Of Fate saw Hardy climb the ropes. Chavo tripped Hardy and Charles Robinson ejected him. Hardy then hit the Twist Of Fate for the three count. ---------- 6/10 - You know, the nickname of "THE FENCE~!" is entirely apt for Neely, since he works like a well-built fence. It does it's job perfectly fine, but there is nothing flashy or charismatic whatsoever about it. ---------- Still to come...a match I saw in November of last year. And it was far from the first time for it then... Backstage, Chavo was bitching about Charles Robinson as he and Bam came across Edge. Edge promised that Vicki would take care of Lil' Naitch. And he promised to take care of Matt hardy next week. In the same way he trusted Chavo to be the best man at the wedding. But he wanted something done tonight. He needed Chavo to face Batista WHAT? Edge told Chavo to trust him... Michelle McCool def. Layla in a "Ever wondered what it would be like to have the technology to mute the crowd would be like? Now's your chance to find out!" match Michelle McCool made her way to the ring, and like Chavo earlier, when Layla came out, no-one cared as Cole claimed Layla said that being on ECW made her more aggressive in bed. Foley then chipped in with his latest poem... Layla started off hot before dropping Michelle face-first onto the apron. Back in the ring, Layla scored a 2 count. Layla put on a chinlock. As Michelle looked to get out, Layla slammed McCool down and hit a leg drop for a 2 count. Back to the chinlock as Natalya (looking FINE!) came out to watch. Michelle got to fighting back. She surprised Layla with a small package for a nearfall. bad dropkick by Michelle was followed by another. Michelle then hit a belly to belly suplex for a 2 count. Michelle caught a kick from Layla in the corner and put her in the heel hook for the win. To SILENCE. Nattie and Michelle exchanged looks from afar afterwards. ---------- 5/10 - It was OK, but call me old fashioned when I say that I like to see someone work over the body part that they are ultimately going to finish the opponent off with by holding. This was about the only move Michelle did in anger. The rest of Layla, and that was mainly chinlock. ---------- Backstage, Vicki and the Kristal-lookey likey were talking when Edge came in, telling tales of Chavo's anguish at the hands of Lil' Naitch. And speaking of the devil, Charles Robinson came in. Vicki accused him of bias against her family, going right back to Wrestlemania. You know...when he did this...  Thing is, Vicki knew he needed the job and had responsibilities, but he needed to realise how it felt from a superstars perspective. That was to say he was going to have a match tonight. She sent the former pretend-stand in WCW President to get ready for it. Vladimir Kozlov def. Jamie Noble in a "That really is one hard head, isn't it?" match Jamie Noble made his way to the ring. Well, I suppose it's his turn, because Mad Vlad ain't facing Jimmy Yang again. And as Kozlov came out, they continued to tease a feud with Foley. Jamie tried to pick a leg, but that didn't work. Quelle Surprise... Kozlov took Noble down as Foley gave some actual insight to Kozlov's style. Noble fired a missile dropkick for a one-half count. Noble then put on a guillotine chokehold on Kozlov. Kozlov had to fight the hold, but eventually got to his feet and drove Noble into the corner. Kozlov then hit a big overhead throw before dumping Noble in another corner. Noble then blocked a corner charge, but Jamie dove off to be met with a headbutt to the chest for the three count! ---------- 4.5/10 - A fine squash where Noble got to look very decent in losing. But boy, is this crowd absolutely dead tonight or what? Thinking back. even Vicki wasn't getting the same amount of heat as every other week (although she still got heat). ---------- As a note, Noble really did need some help getting to the back, and the referee did a "X" sign (off camera), according to the live notes. And it was now official, Batista vs. Chavo. And Kane vs. MVP. Kane def. MVP by Countout in a "He may have still lost, AGAIN, but this was yet something of a moral victory..." match MVP made his way out first, followed by Kane. After some trash talking from Montel, Kane went to work on the under-utilised guy, as Noble's potential injury was related to us. See, I wasn't lying... They exchanged holds on the mat before Kane was hit with a drop toe-hold into the middle turnbuckle. Foley almost made himself wet at the thought of working with JR as Kane worked out a chinlock, hitting a powerslam for a 2 count. However, Kane missed a big elbow drop, allowing MVP to hit a kick to the back for a 2 count. 2 punches then saw another 2 count. MVP then hit the running kick in the corner for another 2 count. Porter then put on a wacky hold, working Kane's neck and shoulder. However, Kane countered into a pin for a 2 count. Back suplex by the ECW Champion. Kane then hit a slam and a low dropkick for a 2 count. MVP then ran into a big boot. Kane then started to hit signature moves, such as a the corner clothesline and then the sideslam. He then went up top for the flying clothesline, which he hit as well. Kane-o looked to finish things, but MVP grabbed the ropes. Kane clotheslined MVP out the ring. MVP then just so happened to decide not to bother anymore and got himself counted out. ---------- 5.5/10 - It was OK, but nothing great. At least MVP didn't get pinned again and Henry got some modicum of revenge, so the segment kinda worked. ---------- Mark Henry then came out on a mission. For some reason, this prompted Kane to go after MVP, allowing Henry to attack, hitting a World's Strongest Slam in the ring. Charles Robinson was backstage when Chavo approached and wished him good luck for his match. Which was apparently next. After the break, we saw a Make-A-Wish Foundation promo. Wasn't this from months ago? I mean, it's always good to see them do this stuff, but is there nothing new? The Great Khali def. Charles Robinson in a "When one Naitch gives it up, another steps in their place..." match After that, out came someone who needed to make a wish. Yep, Charles Robinson. Foley fancied he'd be facing someone like Nunzio or Funaki. He could not be more wrong. He drew The Great Khali. Boy, that really was a one week babyface turn... Can you take a guess what happened next? Khali hugged Charles before getting the wrong idea and taking him backstage to make sweet, sweet love to him, Heidenrich-style? Nope, you were very wrong. That's just sick. No, Robinson ran for his life, only to run into the Rated Rmy who dumped Charles back in the ring. Khali made it quick, but not painless. He hit a move and then made a one foot cover before breaking it up himself. Khali locked in the Vice Grip, with Mickey Henson quickly calling for the bell. Naturally, a very annoyed medical crew gave Robinson a stretcher job afterwards. ---------- 0.5/10 - I guess the aim was to get heat on Chavo & Vicki, but this wasn't not the crowd to do it in front of, as they pretty much sat on their hands, so all we got was a ref getting killed in front of a dead crowd. The ONLY plus point was Robinson showing off his EXPLOSIVE speed once again... ---------- In a hilarious moment, we saw a replay of the Vice Grip as we faded to break. it wasn't supposed to be funny, but by God (assuming there is one) it was... Jesse & Festus def. Deuce & Domino in a "NOW they've split up..." match Jesse & Festus made their way out as Cole said that Charles Robinson was being taken to the hospital. Deuce & Domino then came out the entrance and they were already arguing. May as well enjoy this theme while I can. And their arguing only allowed Festus to kill them when the bell rang. This just prompted D&D to start fighting each other, as Jesse and the bald-headed fat virgin looked on. Deuce had his shirt ripped, but he sent Domino into the announce desk. He rolled Domino back in, where Festus hit moves before finishing Domino off with the flapjack for the win. ---------- 1/10 - I like Deuce. I like Domino. I like how they've broken up. However, beyond Deuce doing the "I'm Jimmy Snuka's son" gimmick (although, come to think of it, that could work if he moved to RAW and join the "Second Generation" stable), I don't see much in the future for either of them unfortunately. They certainly should have gotten a babyface run before breaking up. ---------- Deuce got back in the ring and walked around the fallen Domino. Domino sat up and Deuce hit the Crack 'Em In The Mouth (and a BIG one). He then threw his leather jacket on Domino before leaving. Bizarrely enough, this had the most heat outside of anything involving Vicki. We cut to ECW as Miz complained about Finlay & Hornswaggle a tag title shot. We then saw MA BOYZ~! Miz & Morrison walk backstage before taking a break. Finlay def. The Miz in a "Foley is being SO jealous..." match We came back from break as Finlay & Hornswaggle came out. Finlay, despite beating up Colin Delaney for putting it on him, had a Hornswaggle hat on, and they were hitting each other with the toy hammers. Miz & Morrison then came out. Finlay got bothered by the presence of Morrison, who was there to join Cole & Foley on commentary. Finlay grabbed Miz, but Miz tangled himself up in the ropes. Morrison and Foley argued over the use of the word "Dwarf" before talking about Morrison's abs while Finlay worked over the tag champion. Finlay hit a clothesline for a 2 count. Miz became a comeback as Cole put over the Dirt Sheet. As he should, because it's so freaking awesome. Miz hit the corner clothesline, before kicking Finlay into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Miz scored a 2 count. Miz worked a chinlock, which prompted a Hornswaggle appearance. Miz put on the European Headlock. Finlay rammed Miz into the corner to get out of it before hitting a series of clotheslines. Finlay then hit the ass splash for a 2 count. Morrison went after Hornswaggle. This distracted Finlay, although Miz couldn't take advantage like Morrison did last week. Indeed, Swaggle hit Morrison in the knee with a shillelagh, which distracted Miz, allowing Finlay to grab Miz and hit the Celtic Cross for the win. ---------- 6/10 - fine enough stuff, giving the challengers the upper hand in this very sudden feud. And despite the fact I shouldn't, I truly fear for Miz & Morrison's titles... ---------- After the break, we saw a recap of this week's Million Dollar Mania. Lucky sod of a kid won an eighth of a million. Damn it... Cole & Foley then ran over most of the current Night Of Champions card. Chavo Guerrero def. Batista in a "Edge sure knows how to count to 10..." match And speaking of the Batista vs. Edge match, out came one of them, in Dave. However, he looked up to see Vicki, Chavo and Neely. Vicki said that Charles Robinson was supposed to be the ref, but he ain't running up, so she had assigned someone else. And if Batista laid his hands on the ref, he'd be losing his title shot. And that official? Why, that would just happen to be the other guy in the Batista vs. Edge match. We cut to a break there. We came back as Edge tried getting Batista to stand in his corner. Neely got out of the ring as we saw Vicki look on. Edge gave Batista instructions, but Batista laughed at him. Batista & Chavo circled each other and Edge just so happened to get in Dave's way. Chavo grabbed a headlock, but Batista threw him off. Foley realised that the whole thing with Charles Robinson was pre-planned all along. Batista worked over the arm of Chavo. Bam caused a slight distraction, but Batista pushed Chavo out the corner. Batista then hit Goldberg's Jackhammer Slam, but Edge made the slowest ever count. Edge then tripped Batista as he ran to kick Chavo, allowing Chavo to put punches in. Choking in the ropes, which Edge broke up, but easily allowed Neely to continue the work. Chavo blocked a corner charge, but Batista caught Chavo's dive. However, Edge pulled Chavo's leg, allowing a pin for a fast 2 count. Chavo worked a couple of holds, including a chinlock, which Batista powered out of. Chavo hit a dropkick for another fast 2 count. Batista hit a big back body drop and then followed it up with a big slam, but as Edge looked the other way, Bam Neely pulled Batista out the ring. Edge then counted to 10 within 2 seconds and Chavo was declared your winner. ---------- /10 - Again, this was NOT the crowd to do this in front of, because it sure as hell should have worked in theory, but they sat on their hands and shut their mouths for 99% of this. ---------- Batista got back in the ring and gave Chavo a spear and was about to legally attack Edge, but La Familia ran out to beat Batista down. They call got to hit various moves, with Edge hitting a spear, to leave the heels standing tall as the show ended. OVERALL - 6/10 (+/- 0 on last week) - On paper, this was a fine show. In reality, this crowd killed it. It was almost as if they turned up to the arena expecting to see anything other than a wrestling taping, because they were dead for practically the entire show. Only Vicki's promos, Batista's entrance and the Deuce & Domino fight got any real reaction. And even then, Vicki and Batista's reactions were muted compared to most weeks. But otherwise, I personally thought that it pretty effectively continued to push the PPV. Aaron Wood came from drinking booze to review this show, as he was saying goodbye to a guy from work who was leaving (albeit maybe only a week before I leave). However, he's not that drunk. He has to get up first thing in the morning for work anyway. That said, it gives him the whole of Sunday to do what the f*** he wants. Which probably means more drinking. That or he'll have WRITTEN ARTICLES for the site. Indeed, he'll be putting electric pen to electric paper and writing stuff this week rather than doing an audio. When he's bored, and he gets bored easily, you can normally find him on the WWI Forums or he'll be playing one of his many PS3 games, which include Burnout Paradise, Unreal Tournament 3, Uncharted, Gran Turismo 5: Prologue and GRAND THEFT AUTO IV~!~!~!~!. You can find him with the username "aaron24wood", if you want to so battle with him. Aaron's mood today was...jolly. Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on ClubWWI.com : Aaron
Aguliera Christian
Cage Jackie
Gayda Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Bruno
"Harvey Wippleman" Lauer Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Diamond
Dallas Page Harley
Race Sylvester
Terkay
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