Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Vinny Mac Remembers He Has Other Shows
By Aaron Wood
Jun 26, 2009 - 6:10 PM

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:  Mysterio was the egg man.  Truth & Cryme Tyme were the egg men, but ultimately, Chris Jericho was the walrus...

THIS WEEK…
What?  Is Vinny scared Peanuthead is going to try and buy Smackdown?
After the customaries, Justin Roberts announced something really quite special and rare.  He introduced Vincent Kennedy McMahon.  Yep, the boss was paying a visit to Smackdown.  I honestly don't remember the last time Vince was on this show.  even after pointing out how Vince now owned RAW again, JR noted we didn't see ol' Grapefruit nuts that often.  Indeed, according to my archives, the latest I have Vince last appearing would have been the beginning of last year during the Finlay/Hornswaggle deal.  February 1st, to be exact.

Anyway, Vince was happy to be back on the show, and he thought some of the audience might like seeing him.  He even said he was happy to be there.  But then again, an aroma came across Vince's nose.  He realised they were in "Cheese country" and someone cut the cheese.  Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, Vince McMahon is 7 years old.  No wait, that wasn't it.  There was a stench in the arena, and it was the smell of fear.  The fans were afraid of him and powerful people like him.  He drew a "You Suck" chant, but Vince said they were all job-scared.  You might know someone who was outta work.  You might be yourself.  And truth be told, the majority of the fans would be fired if they were graded on performance.

Was this going somewhere?  Well yes, because Vince did some firing on Monday.  Let's have a look at that magic moment.  But hey, there was more, because Vince had a guest.  GM Teddy Long.  The Thugger & Bugger came down, as JR wondered if Long was due a raise, but wasn't so sure...  Vince rejected Long's handshake and told him to stop smiling.  Vince, like any good Roman Emperor, wished to be entertained tonight, so what was on the docket for tonight?

Long noted that their main event would be a tag match with Edge & Chris Jericho taking on Rey Mysterio & Jeff Hardy.  You know the one.  The one they mentioned on Monday and then again 5 minutes ago.  That didn't cut Vince's cheese however, so Teddy (after a little correction on his grammar) noted that it was also scheduled to be a Rage In A Cage match.  Vince wanted one more thing, or else.  So Teddy thought about it and he announced a special referee.  And he would be CM Punk.  That satisfied Vince for now, so he was going to do Long a solid and merely put Teddy on probation.

ARE YOU GOING TO BITE?

R-Truth def. Shelton Benjamin in a "Shelton may have passed English class, but he must've failed Phys. Ed." match
Truth came out first, rapping down the aisle.  As he came to Teddy and Vince, he looked for a little response from them.  Long excitedly obliged, but Vinny Mac remained schtum.  We returned to Shelton's entrance, as we were informed he asked for the match.  Shelton proceed to put a promo saying since Truth was always talking about the truth, he had a little truth of his own to dispense.  You see, you and people like you who say they grew up on the streets and were proud of it were in fact a tale to make themselves feel better for being underachievers.  He went to college and got a real education, but Truth only had skipping and jumping, like he says in his song.  Shelton then, a la Vince, proceeded to take Truth's grammar to task.  What is going on tonight?  Are they running some sort of secret literacy programme this week?

Anyway, when the match began, Truth took his verbal dressing down and took it to Benjamin, working him in the corner before tackling him down.  However, Benjamin caught himself on the ropes and powdered out.  Truth slid right out after him and he downed Shelton with a right hand.  Back in the ring, Benjamin got the jump, but missed a couple of charges only to be hit with a back heel kick.  A Truthful German was blocked however and Shelton hit a Samoan Drop before hitting a belly to belly overhead throw as we took a break.

We returned with Shelton in control and working over Truth's back.  Truth fought out of a chinlock, but took a backdrop for a 2 count before Benjamin went back to the back.  A whip into the corner scored a 2 count itself before Shelton hit a couple of shots to the head.  Backbreaker saw Truth stretched over his knee.  Benjamin worked in a reverse bearhug, but Truth jawbreakered out.  Another backbreaker over the knee though scored a 2 count for Shelton.  A suplex was blocked by Truth, but when he did get the rapper over, Truth slipped out and hit a Side Russian legsweep.  Sunset flip scored 2 for Truth.  A powerslam then scored Truth another near fall.  Shelton hit a German suplex for a 2 count (even though Shelton's shoulders were clearly down as well, it would have been a draw).  A Benjamin powerbomb was blocked and after avoiding the Dragon Whip, he hit the corkscrew elbow for the three count!  Grisham dubbed it "The Lie Detector".

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7/10 - Perfectly fine match in what I suspect is a bussing feud.
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We cut backstage as Vince walked into Rey's dressing room with Teddy.  After making a height joke, Vince said he thought there'd be a good chance of him losing the mask on Sunday, wondering why he wore the stupid thing anyway.  Mysterio replied in Spanish before leaving.  Vince asked Long what Rey said, and when Teddy didn't know, he told Long that from now on, only English would be spoken.

HOW MUCH ARE YOU GOING TO BITE?

We saw the cage hanging above the ring as the announcers talked main event.

Alicia Fox & Michelle McCool def. Gail Kim & Melina in a "See TNA?  This is how you book going into a women's match on your PPV..." match
Alicia and Melina started things off.  JR's first words were "A Fox, with that amazing hamstring...".  I don't know either.  Melina countered a corner charge with some sort of inverted sunset flip for a 2 count, but Fox tagged out to Michelle.  McCool was backed up in the corner, but she scored a cheap kick to the jaw to take control.  The ref helped her up, but Michelle followed with a knee to the jaw.  William Regal would have been proud.  She locked on a European headlock, taking Melina over to the ropes, but as the ref backed her off, Alicia kicked her head again.  McCool Russian legsweep scored her 2.

Fox tagged back in to distract the ref while Michelle stretched Melina a bit.  Alicia locked in a headlock, but Melina was up quick, although she pulled Melina down again by the hair.  She locked in another, bending Melina as far back as possible.  Melina blocked a corner charge and made the tag to Gail Kim, who went to work on Fox with clotheslines and then a Rocker Dropper while Alicia was tangled in the ropes.  Gail scored with a crossbody, but Michelle's distraction stopped the pin.  Gail went to hit her finish, but Michelle had blind tagged in, and she grabbed Kim from behind, and turned her over and upside down into position for the Faith Breaker and the win.

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6/10 - Fine enough match continuing her momentum of Michelle heading towards Sunday.
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In the back, we caught up with the champ, as Vince said he (Punk) was pretty cool, as he won Money In The Bank again and then he cashed it in again.  How'd Punk do it?  He lived a clean life, and good things happened.  Punk said he didn't drink or do drugs to get high.  He just crushed the competition, something Vince could relate to.  When Punk left, Vince talked down to Teddy again, claiming Teddy said Punk's lifestyle was just an act.

But hey, CM Punk got the official Vince McMahon seal of approval.  I'm betting there are some indy geek fans who's heads have really now just exploded.  Plus, if Vince & Punk are on the same page, you know that heel turn ain't getting dropped.

HOW DEEP WILL YOUR BITE BE???

The "Smack Of The Week" looked at the Great Khali/Dolph Ziggler feud.  This led to the announcement that the pair would have a match at THE BASH~! that would be a No DQ match.

Just because the live Dirt Sheet's worked...
We saw Todd and JR, as they introduced Cryme Tyme's "Word Up".  However, instead of replaying any old edition of the wwe.com show, they were backstage.  Today's word was Jackin', as they were ably assisted by Eve, as she stole JTG's glasses.  The pair talked some more when Jesse (Remember him?  The one with Festus?  Yeah, that's right.  The other one with the big nose.) popped in dressed and talkin' like a brotha', making himself a complete wigger.  he said the biscuits and gravy were out the window and now he was down with the green (money).  Cryme Tyme ended up Jackin' (see, I'm learning already) Jesse's necklace.  Might be interesting if they run with this for Jesse.  I don't suspect they will, but it might be fun...

John Morrison came out before a break.

John Morrison def. CM Punk in a "OK, this is kinda scary..." non-title match
The Friday Night Delight was in the ring as Punk came out (we saw a sign saying "Strait Edge", so clearly, this literacy programme is needed in Milwaukee).  Here is a spooky fact.  Two years ago this week, CM Punk ended up taking on Morrison (in what would be his last match under the "Johnny Nitro" name) for the ECW Title.  That would be because a certain someone no-showed Vengeance:  Night Of Champions and needed Morrison to fill in.

The pair had a handshake before the match (What is this? ROH?) and a lock up.  Punk was taken into the corner, but there was a clean break.  As the pair engaged in some chain wrestling, JR noted how they popped a big rating on Monday night.  Please, keep the rinky dink self-congratulatory rubbish for TNA...  Morrison got a double leg takedown, and went to pin, but Punk escaped quick, before launching in knees.  However, Morrison countered a kick with a roundhouse head kick of his own.  He whipped Punk hard into the corner before working a cross-armed chinlock.  Punk, however, reversed that into a version of his own, although Morrison jawbreakered out of it for a 2 count.  Punk saw the springboard kick coming and he hit a powerslam for a 2 count when Morrison landed on his feet.  Punk hit some Muay Thai strikes before whipping Morrison off the ropes to hit a dropkick.  The high knee/bulldog scored a 2 count.  Punk called for the GTS, but Morrison slipped out, although Punk got the standing switch and hit a German (with a bridge) for another 2 count.

We returned with Punk still in control and working the head and neck of Morrison.  Punk locked in a headscissors.  However, Morrison got out of it, although he ran off the ropes into a clothesline for a 2 count.  Back to the headscissors.  Morrison rolled over and tied himself in the ropes.  With Morrison on the apron, Punk looked for a sunset flip powerbomb to the floor outside, but Morrison blocked it with a knee, although Punk swept the legs out from under Morrison.  Morrison however was able to hit a moonsault to the floor, landing on Punk and his feet.  Punk was rolled back in for a 2 count.  Morrison hit a clothesline and then the Dropsault, before hitting another dropkick for a 2 count.

Morrison went for the Shining Wizard knee, but Punk caught the leg and rolled through into a Single-Leg Boston Crab.  Morrison made the bottom rope, but Punk waited until the last split second to release the hold.  Morrison tried to slingshot in, but Punk caught him in GTS position.  However, that was blocked and Morrison hit the Flying Chuck for a 2 count.  Morrison put Punk in position for Starship Pain, but Punk was up in time and he cut Morrison off.  Punk then hit a reverse superplex for a LONG 2 count.  Punk put Morrison up for the GTS again, but Morrison slipped out and scored a roll up for 2.  However, Punk countered with a roll up of his own for 2.  However, Morrison countered that with a bridging pin, hooking Punk's arms for the three count!!!

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8/10 - Just a great match between a pair who can only seem to have, at worst, really good matches.  And a Morrison win here, especially such a clean one, opens up the door for a future title feud.
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Punk offered another handshake, but hit Morrison with the GTS.  After he did it, he looked on with a little disbelief in what he did, but he hardly did it by accident, you know...

We went backstage to Josh Matthews with Chris Jericho.  Jericho said he didn't have an obsession, but an intervention, since Rey's mask was his drug, which would ruin his career and his life, but Rey refused to realise he had a problem.  So he would be Rey's sponsor.  He was like Rey.  Addicted to the cheers and adoration.  But he realised he didn't need the popularity, so he ditched the catchphrases and became the best at doing what he did, so on Sunday, he'd set Rey free from the lies.  And in the end, they would realise he was right and that Jericho was his true saviour.

HOW MANY DAYS WILL YOU BITE ON?

Todd & JR were in the ring to run over the PPV card, before they lowered the cage.

We went backstage to see Jeff walking when he caught up with Teddy, who wished him luck, and Vince.  McMahon said that to be straight, he didn't want Jeff to win.  Given Hardy's past, he didn't want Hardy representing the brand.  Jeff said he should ask the fans who they wanted before saying he didn't want Vince's luck, since he had his own.

Edge & Chris Jericho def. Rey Mysterio & Jeff Hardy in a "Hey, if you don't like the sound of "Rage In The Cage", it might end up being a PPV name!" match
Punk came out with a ref's shirt on.  However, since it was so big on him, and since he was wearing trunks, it looked for all the world like the shirt was the only thing he was wearing.  The rules here were pinfall, submission or if someone could escape.  Hardy was out next, and when he got in, he climbed right to the top of the cage to do some posing up there.  When Rey got in , he climbed up on top of the cage too.  Now, why they didn't stay up there while Jericho & Edge came out so they could just hop over the other side and win the match, I don't know, but they didn't.  Idiots.  Hardy & Edge started off, as Hardy whipped edge into the corner before bringing in Rey for some Poetry In Motion as we took a break.

We returned with Rey getting a drop toehold on Edge into the corner, before setting him in 619 position.  However, since he couldn't actually do the 619 without looking a fool as his leg's swung straight into the cage wall, he jumped on Edge's back and scrambled up to try and escape.  However, Edge managed to cut Mysterio off.  Rey kicked Edge away and hit a crossbody for a 2 count.  Jeff Hardy tagged in with an axe handle to the arm.  Edge hit a back drop into the cage wall on Jeff to take control.  Jericho tagged in for the first time.  He hit a back suplex and made a cover for a 2 count.  Hardy was put in an arm and chin lock.  Hardy got out of that and hit the clothesline before tagging in Rey.  Mysterio rolled through a roll up with a kick to the head for a 2 count.  Rey blocked a charge and he hit a rana.  He then hit a baseball slide to Jericho's nutsack.  Jericho tried escaping, but Rey cut him off.  Edge came and grabbed Rey, but Hardy came in too and the faces sent Edge's head right into Jericho's balls.  Poor Jericho.  I hope he's happy with the kids he's got.  Rey was launched up and he hit a hurricanrana on Jericho off the top.  Jericho retook control though as he sent Rey into the cage as we took another break.

We came back with Jericho still in control of Mysterio.  Edge tagged in and choked Mysterio in the ropes.  A splash to Rey's back scored a 2 count.  Edge worked Rey in the corner, but Rey countered a charge across with a headscissors.  However, Jericho tagged in and got to Rey before he could tag in Hardy.  Jericho put Rey up top and ripped at the mask, but Mysterio elbowed Chris down, although Mysterio's crossbody was met with a dropkick.  Jericho tried to prevent the tag, but was hit with an enziguri.

Edge tagged in, and he managed top prevent Rey from tagging.  Edge ran Rey's head into the cage wall.  A second go though saw Rey block it and hit a DDT.  This was all too close to Jericho's corner though, so he tagged in and stopped Rey from tagging Jeff.  He talked some trash in Rey's face, but Rey blocked a whip.  Jericho went to send Rey into the cage, but Rey caught himself and tried to escape.  Jericho cut him off, but Rey kicked him away before hitting a dropkick, putting both men down.

Again, Edge tagged in, but this time, he couldn't stop Jeff Hardy from coming in.  He went to work on Edge, sending him into the walls before hitting his trademark offence.  Edge telegraphed a backdrop and went for a spear, but Hardy leapfrogged over it and Edge hit Punk instead.  Hardy hit the Whisper In The Wind, and Punk recovered to make a 2 count.  Edge was hit with the sitout Gordbuster, and as Jericho came in, so did Rey, using Hardy as a post to swing round to a Jericho with a 619 of sorts.  Edge gave Rey a big boot however.  Twist of Fate was blocked, but as Punk caught Jeff's eye, Hardy turned into a spear by Edge for the three count.

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8.5/10 - Great match, although it could maybe have done without the cage, to be honest, because it did hamper Rey, to an extent, and beyond that, they didn't exactly make much used of it.  Without the cage and letting Rey unleash a little more could have pushed this into "9" territory.
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After the match, Punk got on the microphone and asked the audience to put their hands together for the man they know and love, Jeff Hardy.

We cut backstage, where Vince asked Teddy if he was proud of that.  Vince said he was expecting big things out of Teddy on Sunday.  As if his job depended on it, you know...

We cut back to ringside, where Punk was holding up his title as the show ended.

OVERALL - 8/10 (+/- 0 on last week) - Gotta say that when I read the spoilers, I was worried about Vince McMahon being all over the show, as I feared a change of style into more of a RAW-like setting.  And while there was way more backstage bits than in recent weeks, it was more "Vince checks in with the talent" than anything else, and each of those bits were fine enough.  Not sure where this abrupt thing with Teddy Long is going to be honest, but I'll give it a chance.  But then again, I said I'd give the Trump thing a chance and they dropped that a week later.  Beyond that though, the matches this evening were fine to excellent, so you can't ask for more than that.