Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Eye Eye...
By Aaron Wood
Jul 3, 2009 - 7:34 PM

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:  Eve wanted us to start jackin', John Morrison stated his intent, a bunch of caged guys apparently raged and there was a lot of English teaching and not a Matt Striker to be seen...

THIS WEEK…
I'm sure an honest man like Punk wouldn't mind getting another chance...
Todd had only enough time to say hello when CM Punk was introduced.    Punk stood what ovation there was fomr the audience (and there was a SCS sign), as Punk said people were talking about The Bash's controversy, and he was getting sick and tired of it, since people were sayign he deliberatly kicked the ref to get himself DQ'ed.  So he was there to show, step by step, why they were wrong.  We saw Jeff winning the match, only for the ref to eventually notice that Punk's leg was legitimately under the bottom rope.  But hey, the ref saw his mistake and re-started the match.  Hey, Punky was almost robbed himself!

We then took it to Jeff elbowing out of the GTS, where Punk sold an eye injury before kicking the referee and Hardy's almost comical expression afterwards.  Punk said it was obvious that he couldn't see and his eye is damaged.  He thought it was Jeff but ti was the ref.  He was a man of honour and he didn't take shortcuts inside or outsie the ring.  Jeff had a right to be frustrated, but nothing excuses what Hardy did next.

And that, as we went back to The Bash, Hardy's attack on Punk afterwards, as Jeff snapped and beat on Punk.  A disappointed looking Punk said Hardy had no idea who Punk was as a person.  He had principals and integrity, but what Jeff did to him was obviously deliberate.  Now, apparently Jeff was bitching to anyone who'd listen that he wanted a rematch.  Now that's fine, but what Punk wanted now was an apology.

He didn't get a sorry, but he did get a Mack Militant, as Teddy Long came out.  Long said he'd get to the point.  He didn't know if Punk took the cheap way out, but he was right in that him and Jeff had a great match, so at Night Of Champions, Punk would face Jeff once again.  Punk said that was fine, but he wanted Teddy to apologise.  Long said he didn't have to.  Vinny Mac said he was pleased with Teddy's work at the PPV, so tonight, he'd follow it up with the Unified Tag Team champions, who were now Edge & Chris Jericho taking on the newly-made NOC opponents, Jeff Hardy & CM Punk!

At that point, Hardy came out to the ring.  Hardy got in Punk's face and said he didn't want to hear Punk's excuses naymore and knew he kicked the ref.  What did Straight Edge mean?  That he was a lair?  Either way , Jeff could see right through him.  Man, that's some good s**t Jeff's on tonight if he can see right through people.  Punk again asked for his apology, but Jeff said he'd only apologise for beating the hell out of him at Night Of Champions.  Jeff took a swing, but Long split them back.  Punk said that they needed to get on the same page for later as Edge & Jericho would tear them apart.  They were already at a dis-advantage because of his eye injury.  Hell, he had to forfeit a match on Superstars.  But he could see Jeff's temper boiling over.  He wanted to take a shot at Punk.  But Jeff should try something he should have done a long time ago...

Just Say No...

...You know, because Jeff does drugs...

Punk left with a smirk on his face as Teddy's music played.

Finlay def. Ricky Ortiz in a "And even then, Ortiz got too much..." match
We came back to see Mr. Useless himself in the ring, as we awaited Finlay, allowing Todd & JR to talk about the trade.  Before the match, Ortiz got on the stick to ask if Finlay was sad at losing his little friend.  You mean, when they were originally drafted apart, never mind this trade.  Ortiz told Finlay to "rally up", but Finlay smacked him and threw the towel away.  Finlay punched and kicked early, but Ortiz managed to hit a powerslam on the outside when things spilled out.  Ortiz hit a back suplex for a 2 count.  Knee drop to the gut by Ortiz, although he avoided a corner charge and rolled Ortiz up for 2.  Finlay started a comeback with clotheslines and the Rolling Hills and ass drop for a 2 count.  Shoulder to Ortiz's gut in the corner, but Ortiz blocked the Celtic Cross.  Ortiz went for a gutwrench move, but Finlay reversed it into a Celtic Cross for the quick win.

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5.5/10 - OK short match to re-establish that Finlay is on Smackdown again.
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We cut backstage to see Dolph Ziggler warming up.  Maria walked in and he started acting cool.  They introduced each other, before Maria wondered if he was getting ready before saying she had a match too.  But then there was last night...Maria had fun.  Dolph said he had fun too, so if they wanted to go out again, sometime, you know...  Aaw...what a pair of sweethearts...

Dolph Ziggler def. R-Truth in a "Hey, it's not Khali!" match
Ziggler came out first as we saw highlights from the Ziggler/Khali match on Sunday.  You know a PPV's buyrate was awful when they show TONS of highlights on TV.  Truth came out rapping, but for what must be the first time, he lost the beat at the end.  JR said, after Todd asked what was up, that his pay was up to 8 bucks an hour.  So right now, I'm earning more than JR does, apparently...  Truth took control early, hitting a big armdrag for a 2 count.  However Ziggler got a cheapshot in and a nice overhead slam for a 2 count.  Ziggler put on a headlock, but Truth was up quick, although Ziggler slammed him down again.  Ziggler hit his elbow drop series for another 2 count, before locking in a Full Nelson.

Truth was up again quick and he began a comeback with shots and then a back elbow from a whip.  Another whip was telegraphed by Dolph, but he ran into a powerslam for a 2 count.  A running bicycle kick hit Ziggler, but Ziggler rolled to the ropes, snapped Truth's neck on the top rope and hit the Blonde Ambition (as it was in FCW) for the three count.

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7/10 - I really rather enjoyed this match.  While already a fan of Truth, I'm liking Ziggler more every week as well.
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You never know...Jesse might end up showing everyone that John Cena's white rapper gimmick wasn't as great as we remember it...
We came back to yet another "live" Word Up from Cryme Tyme and their lovely assistant Eve.  This week's word was Wangsta, and instead telling us about it, they decided to show us, as they went on a "Street Safari".  They used a pair of blinged binoculars to spot Layla and her ass.  Jimmy Wang Yang chowing down.  JTG then took them and saw Jesse, who spotted them, coming over to act like, ironically enough a Wangsta.

This was actually far funnier than it had any right to be...

Kane def. Rey Mysterio in a "How ironic.  Rey goes form one guy who wanted to remove his mask to another guy who wanted to remove his mask..." match
The still-masked Rey Rey came out first.  This time however, we didn't see highlights of the excellent match from Sunday.  No, this time, we took a break.  We came back to see the Big Red Entrance once again on the blue show.  Rey employed his usual tactic of sticking and moving.  However, as usual, Kane managed to catch him in the end with a clothesline.  A myriad of stomps, punches and clotheslines followed from Kane.  However, when Kane charged, Rey dropped him into 619 position.  Kane blocked it though, although his chokeslam was blocked.  Kane knocked Rey down again as we took another break.

We came back to see a big boot.  Naturally, you can guess Kane was the one that hit it.  He sent Rey into the corner hard, sending Mysterio to the outside.  Rey was sent into the ringpost, but Rey managed to make it back in the ring at 9.  Big club to the back of Mysterio.  Kane continued to dominate.  He hit a back suplex for a 2 count, following up with a backbreaker, stretching Rey across his knee.  However, Rey threw knees to Kane's head to get out of it.  He then avoided a Kane charge into the corner.  Rey hit the springboard senton and a spinning DDT for a 2 count.  He followed with a low dropkick to the seated Kane for another 2 count.

Rey went up top, but he came down into an uppercut by Kane for another 2 count to Kane's frustration.  Kane set for the chokeslam, but Rey avoided it and hit Kane into 619 position, which he hit.  He went for the seated senton again, but Kane threw him off and hit a chokeslam for the three count.

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7/10 - Very decent match here, especially since these two have had stinkers in the past, but it was fine.  Sure, it was a little odd that they put Rey in the position they did, unless they are making him part of this feud (God I hope not!) between Khali and Kane, but it was a fine match.
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After the match, Kane decided he wanted some more of his little masked friend, and went for another chokeslam.  However, The Great Khali SLOWLY made his way out to the ring with a chair in hand.  Kane shat his tights and ran off through the crowd.

We went backstage to see Chris Jericho with Josh Matthews.  He said he was happy to see Rey get what he deserved, and next week, he'd get more of the same when he won his Intercontinental Title next week.  Edge appeared to say that was next week, but tonight was their chance to prove they were the dominant force in the WWE.  Jericho said they were the best in the world at what they do and as far as Punk's eye injury, eh thought that was as fake as the fans.  Jericho vowed victory.  They said "The Dominant Force" about fourteen millions times here, so I'm guessing that's what they're unofficially being called...

Cryme Tyme def. The Hart Dynasty in a "Good.  I know get to point out who the REAL CANADIAN BULLDOG is each and every week, instead of the douchebag pretender who resides at this website..." match
...Speaking of tag teams!  The Hart group came out first with Natalya, allowing Todd to put over the trade again.  Cryme Tyme came out next, oddly enough without their Word Up cohort, Eve.  Noticeably, JTG was wearing a single spangly glove as he came out.  JTG and Tyson Kidd started things off, with JTG getting the better of it, hitting a facebuster out of the corner.  Kidd ducked out, but ducked back in to make the tag to THE REAL CANADIAN BULLDOG~!, David Hart Smith.  He went to work on JTG.  An overhead throw scored a 2 count before he put on a chinlock.  JTG elbowed out, but Smith took him into the Hart's corner, tagging in Tyson Kidd.  Surfboard by Kidd.  However, when he was back on his feet, JTG avoided a corner charge, getting a roll up for 2.  However, Kid re-took control to work the back again.

Kidd dropped his head off a whip, allowing JTG to kick him and then hit a neckbreaker.  JTG crawled over and managed to tag Shad as DH came in.  Shad ran wild, hitting a splash in the corner, before hitting a nice facebuster.  The "Money Money Yeah Yeah" elbow drop scored a pin that Kidd broke up.  It broke down a bit, but as the ref was seeing to Kidd, JTG snapped Smith's neck off the top rope and Shad hit the STO for the win.

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6.5/10 - A decent enough match that will probably start a feud, given how Cryme Tyme won it.
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Cryme Tyme celebrated their cheeky win while the Hart's went mad.

RAW Rebound showing Vince using all of Trump's ideas, including making Batista the "Host" for the night, and Deacon Dave's part in the show, highlighted by Orton's Gauntlet.

Melina & Maria def. Michelle McCool & Layla in a "Isn't that just the way?  " match
The new Women's Champion came out with her one remaining friend, Layla.  You know, since Alicia Fox was sent to RAW>  The LIVE show, she's going to be wrestling on...  Melina came out with her remaining friend too, since Gail Kim was also sent to RAW.  That said, at least she can really work.  Michelle distracted Melina as the match started, allowing Layla to get the jump on Melina, but the former champ quickly took control.  Maria tagged in and hit a bunch of knees to the gut.  She then hit a clothesline for a 2 count.  Maria hit an armdrag, but Layla caught a kick and kicked the other leg out, making Maria to a sudden splits, injuring the leg.

Michelle tagged in and pin-pointed the injured pin.  The heels tagged in and out quickly, both working over the left limb.  Maria was able to kick Michelle off and then tag in Melina who went after Michelle but she tagged in Layla. Melina matrixed out of a clothesline and then after knocking Michelle from the apron, she hit the Primal Scream Leg drop for the three.

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6/10 - Fine enough for the girls.
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Melina and Michelle exchanged looks, before McCool backed out of the ring.

We cut backstage to see John Morrison talking about his win over CM Punk last week to Teddy Long, who was too busy thuggin' and buggin'.  They mentioned Michael Jackson song, linking them to Morrison's win last week.  That was incredibly affectionate.  Kinda caught me off guard...

Edge & Chris Jericho def. CM Punk & Jeff Hardy in a "Jeff Hardy...The Douchebaggy Enigma..." match
The champions made their way out first, albeit separately.  And we were back to highlights again, as we saw how Jericho & Edge won the tag titles in a match they weren't supposed to be in.  They again mentioned that Jericho was getting his rematch on Smackdown next week.  The champs posed as we took a break.  We came back for Hardy and Punk's entrances.  Punk & Edge started off picking up where they apparently left off on Superstars.  STILL can't get that f**king show...  Anyway, Punk wrung the arm and tagged in Hardy.  Jeff sent Edge chest first into the corner, but Edge got his foot on the ropes quick when Hardy made the pin.  Punk tagged in and he targeted Edge's arm.  Edge escaped and brought in Jericho, but Punk too him down.  Punk hit a slam in the corner and tagged in Edge.  He hit a second rope leg drop to pick a deuce.

However, Jericho began to take control as he hit some shots and telegraphed a whip, but Hardy caught Jericho and hit the double leg drop before bringing in Punk.  Jericho forced him back and managed to tag in Edge.  Punk whipped Edge and hit a back heel kick, before bringing in Hardy to hit Poetry In Motion, catching Jericho who had come over, as well as Edge.  The champs were down on the outside.  The mismatched pair were staring at each other in the ring.  Break time then.

We were back with Hardy and Edge in the ring.  Hardy avoided a corner charge and hit an armdrag, but as we went for a tag, Punk claimed to have an eye problem.  Hardy continued on, hitting a suplex, making an odd pin for a 2 count.  Edge avoided a Stinger Splash in the corner, and he tagged in Hardy who went to work on Jeff.  Jericho drew Punk in, allowing Jericho to dump Hardy to the outside, where Edge got a shot in himself as Jericho joined the ref as he talked to Punk.  Hardy again tried to make a tag, but Punk was looking the other way thanks to his eye.  Jericho put on a chinlock, but Hardy fought back.  However, when he tried to headscissor Jericho in the corner, Jericho dumped him to the outside.

Punk tried to rally the crowd for Jeff, but as Jeff dove back in the ring, Punk was suddenly bothered by the eye again.  However, he caught Jericho with the Whisper In The Wind, putting both men down.  Hardy crawled over, but Edge tagged in and cut Jeff off.  However, hardy fired off a Twist of Fate and then he made a forced tag to Punk. Punk hit the high knee/bulldog for 2.  The GTS was reversed into a reverse DDT for 2.  Edge worked Punk in the corner, before Jericho got a cheap choke in.  Jericho then tagged in and punted Punk's ribs.  Jericho tried to gouge at Punk's eye.

Punk fired back with forearms, but the pair hit each other with clotheslines.  Punk crawled over for a tag, but suddenly Jeff manically acted as if he had a severe eye injury.  This allowed Jericho to try for the Walls Of Jericho.  Punk got out and hit the GTA, but Edge had made the blind tag, so he  turned around into a spear for the three count.

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8/10 - Really good story told here, since there is the ambiguity of whether Punk is faking or not.  My only real complaint would be that Jeff's "eye injury" was too over the top, to the point it really did make him look like a dick.  If he had just done it in the same way that Punk had refused to tag earlier, it would have shown that Hardy was calling out Punk's fakery.  This was verging on comical and took away from the angle a little.
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After the match, Hardy went after Edge, hitting the Twist Of Fate, but Jericho pulled Edge out before the Swanton.  When Punk recovered, Hardy continued to act as if his right eye was now missing or something.  Hardy left up the ramp, but at the top, he made it clear he was faking it.

OVERALL - 7/10 (-1 on last week) - This was a decent show that turned out better on paper than some seemed to think it would be when it was taped.  Obviously, throwing Kane in the mix as another big guy brings things down a bit, but with the ECW acquisitions, they've only added to the actual talent on the show.