Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Rey & Jericho One Last Time. Ziggler Gets The Winner.
By Aaron Wood
Jul 10, 2009 - 7:53 PM

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:  It was an eye for an eye with Jeff, it was a chair for a chair with Khali...well almost, Maria found out if Dolph Ziggler was so-named as a rip on Dirk Diggler and Canadian Bulldog was what he is best...a loser.  Oh, and DH Smith was pinned as well...

THIS WEEK…
Todd & JR introduced the show, hyping up the BIG main event, with Chris Jericho & Rey Mysterio going at it one more time.

Kane def. Jeff Hardy in an "I really want CM Punk to kick his druggie ass" match
Jeff made his way out, sporting, of all things, an eye patch on the eye he faked an injury to last week.  Either that, or he's taking Paul Burchill's old Jack Sparrow gimmick.  May as well embarrass him on the way out.  Anyway, he got on the mic to explain his raggedy ass.  Last week, in his tag match, TRAGEDY~! struck...

Cue video of last week's match, where Punk was refusing tags claiming his eye injury, only for Hardy to force a tag, only for when Punk wanted to make a tag out again when he needed it, Jeff comically sold an eye injury of his own, leaving Punk to get speared.

We went back to Jeff who said that all of a sudden his eye felt like it was on fire.  And the worst part, CM Punk didn't check backstage to see if he was OK.  Indeed, the word was that Jeff was a liar lair with his pants en fuego.  But unlike Punk, he didn't fake injuries.  Unlike Punk, he didn't kick refs in the back and unlike Punk, he doesn't forfeit matches.  So, Hardy wanted to tell CM Punk that his eye injury was just as serious as his.  He took of the patch to reveal nothing inherently wrong with him.  Seriously, he couldn't be douchier if he tried.

This brought out Kane.  Why?  Well, unfortunately, it was to wrestle Hardy, not compare bad eyes.  Hardy stuck and moved early, low bridging Kane out and hitting a plancha.  Back in, Kane caught Hardy with an uppercut for a 2 count.  hardy went for an early Twist Of Fate, but Kane blocked it and dropped Jeff on the top rope before kicking Hardy in the head, with Hardy tumbling to the floor as we took a break. 

We returned with Kane in control, as he hit a low dropkick to the seated Hardy for 2.  Kane locked in a bearhug on the mat, but Hardy fought up and hit a jawbreaker and then a dropkick to the knee and then one to the lowered head for 2.  The double leg drop followed, but it was only for a long 1 count.  Kane picked Hardy up and hit a gutbuster for a 2 count.  He then whipped Jeff down into the ringpost and then dropkicked the injured back for yet another 2 count.  In the corner, Kane worked over the mid section.  Backbreaker for 2 was followed by a bodyscissors.  However, again, Hardy fought back.  Or he did until he left himself open for a sidewalk slam.

Kane then went up (to which Grisham remarked Kane doesn't often go to.  No Todd, he doesn't.  I think he only ever does that in EVERY SINGLE MATCH HE HAS!), but Hardy cut him off, crotching the Big Red Machine.  Rolling dropkick in the corner.  Hardy hit a DDT for a 2 count.  Hardy was elevated out to the apron, but Jeff went up top.

He jumped into a chokeslam attempt, but Hardy blocked up and ran up the other corner to hit a Whisper In The Wind for a 2 count.  The Twist Of Fate connected, but as Hardy went up, CM Punk's music kicked in, and the champ came out.  This distracted Hardy long enough for Kane to get up and chokeslam Jeff off the top rope for the three count.

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6.5/10 - It was decent enough and had a decent story, but it was no great shakes, but these big man/small man matches are often like that.
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Yay!  A practical use for Word Up!
It was time for class once again, as Cryme Tyme brought us another Word Up.  And this week, it was "bromance".  You know, like the kind Zah & Canadian Bulldog have.  They mentioned Fred & Barney from The Flintstones and Siegfreid & Roy.  And then there were those two Canadian's, who they talked about liking to wear hot pink and how they got all tired and sweaty by fumbling around with each other.  No, they're weren't talking about Zah & Canadian Bulldog, although frankly, they could well have been, but indeed, they were talking about the REAL CANADIAN BULLDOG~!, David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd.

Eve wondered if Cryme Tyme had a bromance going on before, as usual, Jesse jumped into the picture and did his wangsta act.  See.  I'm learning.  Eve cock-teased him behind a fence before locking him in.  Jesse said he had a Sega Genesis with TWO controllers!  You know, I'm actually really enjoying J-to-the-ezze...

Unlike Shawn Stasiak, at least Dolph Ziggler managed to put his boner to good use...
We cut to John Morrison and Teddy Long, who reminisced about their Michael Jackson-related antics last week.  Teddy even asked Morrison if he fancied going to some karaoke at some time.  What would a bromantic date be?  I mean, "mandate" and "mate" are proper words themselves...  Anyway, Morrison pretended to like the idea, but clearly he didn't.  As John Morrison talked about how he had made a challenge to the winner of the Jeff Hardy/CM Punk match for a title shot, they became aware of some banging in the closet behind them.

Teddy left, and as he did, and as Morrison was about to leave, Ziggler popped out of the closet.  Morrison remarked it was time for Ziggler to come out of one before leaving.  However, this left the path clear for Maria to emerge from the closet as well!  She wished him luck before patting him on the ass.

Dolph Ziggler def. John Morrison in a "Hey, Dolph is screwing a lot of people tonight..." match
Lover boy made his way out first, before Morrison.  The announcers started talking about 12 Rounds and JR's DVD collection.  They started off by, what I suppose you could call, chain wrestling, but Ziggler got a cheap shot in.  Morrison came back with a back elbow, sending Ziggler out the ring, before hitting a corkscrew plancha onto Dolph.  Hot shot off the top rope by Morrison saw him look for Starship Pain, but Ziggler grabbed the leg, tripped Morrison and kicked his chest while on the apron.

Ziggler stayed in control back in the ring, hitting his elbow drop series for a 2 count.  Ziggler locked in a nice chinlock.  Morrison snapmared out of it, but Ziggler stayed on top with a knee lift and back suplex for a 2 count.  Then, in a Diva-like move, Ziggler mashed Morrison face into the mat before locking in a Full Nelson.  Morrison slipped out and hit a Pele kick and then a break dancing-like kick to the head.  He then hit a forearm and a spinning heel kick.  A running knee got the Friday Night Delight a 2 count.

However, Morrison missed a charge, and Ziggler hit a nice overhead T-bone-like slam for a 2 count.  Morrison avoided a corner charge, kicking Ziggler before heading up for a lovely missile dropkick for a 2 count.  Morrison looked for a spinning DDT, but Ziggler countered with a roll up, grabbing a handful of tights for the three count!

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7.5/10 - I really rather enjoyed that match, with 2 up and comers.  One thing I'm finding odd though is how they've booked Morrison since beating CM Punk.  He's done a silly skit with Teddy.  2 in fact, including this week, and lost to Dolph Ziggler.  I know that, assuming he is to get the next title shot that there is another 5 or 6 weeks before that happens, but still, you'd think they'd keep as much momentum under him going for as long as possible.  I mean, they're pushing Ziggler a helluva strong as well.  It's not like he's losing to Ricky Ortiz, but still...
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Okay...
After the break, we sent it to Todd & JR, who introduced a video taken outside the arena by R-Truth.  But it wasn't the R-Truth we had come to know...

We went outside as R-Truth had a set of false teeth  in his mouth, and he called himself "Pretty Ricky".  We followed "Pretty Ricky" as he tried to get into the building.  We then saw him try to finagle a free shirt.  However, this just got him thrown out of the building.  I'm not entirely sure what the f**k was going on, or why it was going on.  it was kinda like Candid Camera or Punk'd or something like that.  Just with a guy, who is obviously R-Truth with a set of false teeth in.  That's not to say I didn't like it.  I actually kinda think I did...

Melina & Eve Torres def. Michelle McCool & Layla in a "I'm guessing Maria was puckered out..." match
Melina and Cryme Tyme's teaching assistant came out first.  And you know, the announcers are even mocking the edict to say the Divas are "Smart, sexy and powerful"!  I noticed it on ECW last night and then JR asked Todd how he'd describe the Divas here, with a big nod and wink.

Layla and Eve started things off, and Eve got a fireman’s carry takeover for a quick count.  She then rolled Layla up for 2.  She floated over a corner charge before hitting Layla with a dropkick for 2.  Layla went for a crossbody, but Eve caught her and slammed Layla down for 2.  Layla made for the apron, but Eve baseball slid her out and then put her back in.  However, this only allowed Michelle to kick eve in the head behind the ref's back.  McCool tagged in and she scored a 2 count.  Another kick to the head scored another 2 count.  Michelle locked in a figure four headlock on Eve.

Eve managed to get up to her feet and escape before hitting a facebuster, putting both women down.  However, as Layla tagged in, so did Melina.  Melina went to work, but with one eye on Michelle.  She hit a facebuster on Layla before bringing her over to Layla's corner, begging for Michelle to tag in.  Michelle didn't so after matrixing down from a clothesline, Melina had Layla ready for the Primal Scream.  Michelle went to get in the ring, leading Eve in, but the ref saw her, and was looking the other way when Layla shoved Melina into Michelle's boot.  Layla put Melina over her shoulder.  However, Melina slipped out and then avoided a charge by Layla, who hit Michelle, rolling Layla up for the win.

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6/10 - Twas alright.
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After the match, Michelle attacked, and at ringside, she looked to knee Melina's head into the guardrail.  Melina moved though and clotheslined Michelle into the front row.  She pulled McCool back over, and wailed on the champ until officials could pull them off each other and Michelle escaped.

We rejoined the show to see Jeff Hardy at ringside on guest commentary.  Joy...

The Great Khali & CM Punk wrestled to a No Decision in a "The world's slowest duel..." match
The announcers remarked that there would be no brotherly love in Philly at the PPV.  You know, call me crazy, but I suspect the Philly fans are going to be more on Punk's side.  Call it a hunch.  Or a hope.  Anyway, Punk got on the mic, and asked if Jeff was proud of himself.  He could have left Punk hurt last week, and he had some nerve to claim Punk was faking an injury.  And the eye patch thing?  He wanted to show Jeff something.  Something like Polymoxin B-Sulphate.  That is to say, he had a bottle of eye drops.  He had to apply it three times a day.  The only way to get it is by prescription.  You know, from a doctor.  But hey, Punk was sure Jeff knew all about prescription meds, but maybe not how you should go to a doctor to get them.  Unlike Jeff, this was the only foreign substance he would allow in his body.  Why not try and live clean?  A Straight Edge lifestyle?  Jeff had 2 strikes.  Punk had zero.  Punk said he had never been suspended.  He'd never been to rehab (to wit:  I suspect Jeff hasn't been either.  That's partially why he left in the first place...).  And what are Jeff's chance of winning the title?  Zero.  Hardy got up off his ass to yak with Punk as The Great Khali came out.

Punk started things off by throwing kicks, but he was less successful at avoiding Khali as Hardy was at avoiding Kane.  Khali went to work, hitting a big chop in the corner, but a leg drop missed, and Punk laid in some more kicks.    He went to the outside and the springboard clothesline, downing Khali, but the POONjabi Playboy kicked out with such authority that he sent Punk tot he outside.  Punk got back in and laid more kicks in before hitting the high knee in the corner.  The bulldog didn't come off though and Punk was downed again.  Khali hit Punk with the overhand chop.  Khali then hit the Punjabi Plunge, but as he did, Kane came out with a chair in hand, so let's call it there, since there was no bell or nothing.

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6/10 - OK enough, with Punk's offence complimenting Khali's size, since Punk could aim kicks to take out the legs.  But it's still Khali, so you can't expect miracles.
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As Kane got in the ring, Singh slid Khali a chair of his own.  They readied their weapons.  Kane lowered his a little, which suckered in Khali, but he shrugged it off and swatted Kane's chair away.  Realising he was in a losing situation, Kane begged off, but Khali gave him a shot to the side, sending Kane on the retreat.

The Hart Dynasty def. Cryme Tyme in a "How can Cade & Murdoch do that move better than these two???" match
We returned to the Cryme Tyme entrance, as Todd noted that he and JR didn't have a bromance going on.  We saw clips of last week's win over the Hart Dynasty.  JTG and Kidd started things off.  JTG tripped Tyson Kidd in the corner, and then hit a leg lariat off the top rope.  he hit DH Smith with an elbow before sending Tyson out.  JTG followed, but Natalya distracted him, allowing Kidd to pull JTG into the announce desk.  Back in the ring, Smith tagged in and scored a 2 count.  Smith hit a vertical suplex for a 2 count.  JTG fought off the Dynasty and made the tag to Shad.  He hit a shoulder block and clothesline to Smith.  Back elbow followed before he hit a front slam.  The STO was blocked, and after a distraction by Kidd, Smith rolled Shad up, but JTG broke the pin.  Nattie distracted JTG as Tyson & DH hit high and low clotheslines to Shad (and I have to say, they didn't look good doing it), allowing David Hart Smith to get the duke.

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6.5/10 - Another thoroughly decent match from these four, although this is still just the early days of it.
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RAW Rebound was all about Ted Dibiase Senior's time as guest host, with him eventually announcing that Randy Orton would defend his title in a Triple Threat against both HHH & John Cena after Legacy interfered.  Have to say, since I won't be biting the week on Sunday, that I thought RAW was a pretty strong show all round.

Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho in a "Nope, they aren't explaining how Edge got injured here..." match to retain the Intercontinental Title
And with the best part of 25 minutes of actual TV time left in the show, Chris Jericho made his entrance.  Oh boy, this is gonna be good...  Well, that said, Jericho killed some time by getting on the mic to proclaim he was the best in the world at what he did, and you'd think he'd be happy as one half of the tag champions.  But hey, let's look as the resume.  4 time tag champion.  5 time world champion.  FIRST Undisputed Champion in the history of the business, and tonight, he'd become a ten-time IC Champion, adding another one to his already owned record.  But sweetest of all is that his victory would come against Rey Mysterio.

We returned to see Jericho awaiting Rey's entrance.  They then got the "main event" introductions.  Can't remember the last time that happened on TV, let alone Smackdown.  Jericho took control early with a headlock and then a shoulder block.  Jericho then caught Rey on his shoulders, but Rey took Jericho down. Jericho came back though and tossed Rey along the mat and out the ring.  Jericho ran out, but Rey slipped back in and then kicked Jericho back before hitting a dive off the apron.  Jericho scored with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a 2 count.  Rey was elevated to the apron and Jericho sent him into the ringpost, knocking him down as we took a break.

We returned with Jericho still in control.  Knee drop scored a 2 count.  Jericho locked in a chin and arm lock.  Rey blocked a corner charge and scored with an enziguri.  However, as Rey dived, Jericho got Rey up in the torture rack and spun Rey around before dumping him down.  Jericho choked Rey at the ropes.  Snapmare over saw Jericho go back to the chinlock, with a knee at the base of the neck.  Rey whirled out of a slam and he hit a springboard crossbody before hitting the wheelbarrow bulldog for a 2 count.  However, Jericho caught Rey with a snap powerbomb for a close 2 count.

Rey looked to float over a corner charge, but Jericho turned it into a Walls Of Jericho.  Rey managed to turn back and then after Jericho lifted him up, slip over and try a sunset flip.  However, Jericho sat down on it for a 2 count.  They then exchanged some pins for 2 count.  Rey got Jericho in 619 position, but Jericho avoided and sent Rey to the floor as we took yet another break.

Jericho was back in solid control as we rejoined them.  However, Rey managed to get out of Jericho's hold, although Jericho followed this up with an avalanche in the corner for a 2 count.  Mysterio began to fire back, but Jericho whipped Rey into the other corner hard.  Jericho then hit what could be best described as a spinning Muscle Buster.  Jericho made a lax cover and only got a 2 count from it.  Bow & Arrow by Jericho, but Rey stood up and he mule kicked Jericho until he scored a sunset flip for 2.  Rey went for AJ Styles's springboard inverted DDT< but Jericho caught him and rammed him into the ringpost.

Mysterio was left in the Tree Of Woe, but Rey crunched up on the charge, and Jericho hit ringpost.  Rey began to make a comeback, hitting a headscissors.  Mysterio hit a springboard splash for a 2 count.  Mysterio then blocked a whip, but Jericho caught him with an Alley Oop for a close 2 count.  Bulldog by Jericho.  The Lionsault was avoided, but Jericho landed on his feet and then caught Mysterio in the Walls once again.  This time, Rey had to stretch and make the ropes.

As Rey stood on the apron, Jericho tried a baseball slide, but Rey leapt to avoid it and then hit an Asai Moonsault onto Jericho.  Back in the ring, Rey springboarded in, but was hit with the Codebreaker!  Jericho covered, but again, only scored a 2 count.  Jericho couldn't believe it and yelled for Rey to stay down.  He punted Rey, but had the legs taken out from him and set in 619 position.  Rey hit that and then a springboard splash for the three count.

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8.5/10 - Excellent PPV quality match right there.  These two can just do no wrong.  Hell, I'd like to see them have a bad match just to see if it were possible.
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As Rey celebrated, he was attacked by Jericho's manpanion, Edge.  Well, I say "attacked".  He actually did a leapfrog over the spear and went up the ramp to escape.  However, he was then attacked from behind by Dolph Ziggler, who tossed him back into the ring for Edge & Jericho.  Edge hit a spear, and then he held Rey in wheelbarrow position while Jericho hit another Codebreaker.  To think, that could have been a double-team finisher on light enough guys, and yet, it had to be all over, since Edge is out.  By the way, I didn't see any point here where they could claim Edge tore the Achilles tendon.

Anyway, after this, the Canadian duo invited Ziggler into the ring as they left.  Ziggler waited for Mysterio to get up before hitting the Blonde Ambition.  Ziggler stood over Mysterio's body as the show ended and the announcers wondered what was going on.

OVERALL - 7.5/10 (+0.5 x on last week) - Another good show this week, although the 2 big man/little man matches kinda let things down a bit.  But that main event more than made up for it.  I think it's great that they are pushing Ziggler so hard to the point where he's all over the show.  He could be a player in a year or so.  While I don’t mind him banging Maria, I'm not entirely sure what it's supposed to accomplish right now.  He's a heel, but, to me anyway, he's coming off as a babyface around her, since he's been shy and such.  But he can't be in a babyface turn already.  He clearly can't since none of his actions back that idea up.  And I somewhat doubt that Maria is turning heel either, although she could and it would be different for her.  But again, nothing in that relationship has suggested an attitude adjustment for her.  But I'm looking forward to the Ziggler/Mysterio feud.

One thing this show did do though was really turn me off Jeff Hardy.  I mean, I'm not the sort of "Smark" who'll boo a babyface to be cool or because it's de rigour.  But I thought Jeff came across here as a pure jerk, even though my rational side was telling me that it was Punk who was the bad guy here.