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Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Man Rejects Girl. Girl Makes Boy Fight Big Man. Girl Saves Boy. Boy Loves Girl Again.
By Aaron Wood
 ...
Well, between you me and that strange guy who is staring at you through your bathroom window, this could very well be the very last time we see each other. No more Smackdown's...No more Vintage Collection...No more WWE PPV Real Times...
You see, never mind what allegedly happened to that wastrel Canadian Bulldog last week on his god-awfully unoriginal "Bulldog's Millions" show, but I have a feeling the cops are onto me... PRESS CONFERENCE FOOTAGE (It has to be said, Dexter is a fine show...) ;) LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Kelly Kelly, Cherry Cherry, Maryse Maryse and Victoria Victoria failed, Uncle Sam got whacked, the ECW guy returned after one long week and Edge decided that he didn't want Vicki's lovely breasts anymore... THIS WEEK… We start things off this week with a nicely meaty recap of Edge's, shall we say, disappointing week last week. You know. The one where he lost his title, went mad and then dumped his fiancé. I would certainly say that his life falling apart would be disappointing for him... But by God, it was great stuff... Kurt and Karen, please kindly take notes... You two suck. Vicki & Edge don't. Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned... We start things off this week by cutting straight to the arena as Edge made his way out and as JR & Foley welcome us to the show. He got himself a microphone and said that last week he said the wedding was off, but hey, he's a rational guy and he's had a week to think about things, and he's decided the wedding is still off! Edge said he proposed because he loved Vicki and saw them as equals. But when she tried to give HIM orders? No dice. And he's been happy ever since, standing on his own. Vicki Guerrero was not good enough for him. And he would take this opportunity to prove everyone wrong at the PPV. There were people who thought he was only champion because Vicki was in his corner. THE CROWD WERE WRONG ABOUT THAT! Why were they wrong? Because he'd won more titles than ANYONE currently in the business. Pick a name! And he'd prove it again at the GAB when he beat HHH and become WWE Champion again... EXCUSE ME! The Rated Rmy wheeled Vicki out to the ramp to say that if he thought he could come out and say it was her loss, he had another thing coming. And he would. Last week, Edge claimed he was the real GM of Smackdown, but he'd have to deal with this. To help him prepare for his match at The Bash, Edge would be in a No DQ against the World's Largest Athlete™, Big Show. Good luck, baby! Edge said he wasn't afraid of the Big Show, and he'd be just like Vicki by the end of the show...A LOSER! Vicki called for his mic to be cut, which it was, which led to her cackling as we cut to the break. Remember last week when we saw a video for Maria, telling us she was coming to Smackdown? Sure you do. JR then said she would be on this week. And sure enough, she was on Smackdown this week. In the same video as last week. Shelton Benjamin def. Matt Hardy in a "Will Matt live up to his promise?" non-title match This time, as Matt Hardy made his way to the ring, JR didn't immediately promise that Maria would be on the show next week. Good girl. JR & Foley noted Teddy Long's generosity in "loaning" Matt Hardy and others to Smackdown. Talk about misplaced priorities there, Thaddeus! JR talked about guys from the area of Louisiana, noting Michael Hayes. THE IRONY! The pair locked up, but Shelton begged off when Matt won it. Another saw Matt grab a side headlock, holding it on when Shelton tried to push off. However, when he fought out, he was shoulder blocked and had an elbow dropped on him for 2. Shelton scored with a neckbreaker for a 2 count. Benjamin then went to work on the neck with elbows and then a neck vice. Hardy got out of it, but was whipped into the corner. Shelton hit the Stinger Splash, but a second one was avoided. he then jumped off the second rope into a punch to the numbers. Hardy began to build momentum, but the Twist Of Fate was blocked, although Matt scored the corner clothesline/bulldog for a 2 count. Hardy headed up top, but Shelton did one of his big leaps up too. He was fought off and Hardy hit the elbow to the back of the head for 2 before setting to finish again. However, it was countered into a T-Bone Exploder suplex for a very close 2 count. Benjamin went back up top, but dived into a Twist Of Fate attempt. However, Benjamin blocked it and then hit Gold Rush for the win! ---------- 7/10 - A nice and athletic opener which made Shelton look like a viable challenger for the title. This could be a nice little feud based, much like the feud Hardy had with Gregory Helms, on prowess in the ring rather than promo ability. ---------- Backstage, Hawkins & Ryder were with Vicki Guerrero, and the pair were bitching about Edge's treatment of them all last week, and so the Rmy were on her side tonight. However, they wanted some of their own, with a match against Jesse & Festus. Vicki let them have the match. Ryder said they'd always be there for her, which got Vicki crying. I'd cry too if that was who on my side... Ken Kennedy def. Domino in a "Which one is Kennedy feuding with exactly?" match After the break, MVP was found to have joined Micky & Jimmy at ringside for some colour commentary. Kennedy made his way out first to cut himself a promo with his mic. By the way, when did Kennedy get over, because the crowd loved him tonight. Kennedy said he was once again changing Friday night and was more Valuable than MVP. He then toyed with the crowd in finishing. And the crowd were with him. Then Domino made his way out. So much for THAT babyface run, huh? Plus Domino still came out to the "Deuce & Domino" TitanTron... Domino won a lock-up and hit a hiptoss. Another saw Domino get the hammerlock, but Kennedy reversed it into his own and then scored a drop toe hold. Domino was whipped into the corner and Kennedy clotheslined him hard. Kennedy went for the running boot in the corner, but Domino slipped out. Back in, Domino took control and scored a big leg drop for a 2 count. Domino grabbed a chinlock, but Kennedy got back to his feet and scored with a spinning roundhouse kick for a deuce (pun intended). Domino was downed in the corner again and this time Kennedy scored with the running boot. A running splash by Kennedy was met by Domino's knees, but Kennedy immediately hit the Mic Check for the three count. ---------- 6/10 - Decent stuff here. I don't know why Domino gets as much as crap as he does in some quarters. He was very decent here. And hey, it's not like he's Deuce who needs two goes at hitting his finisher after missing the first time. Nice to MVP back in full blown cocky-heel mode again too. ---------- Kennedy & MVP got to jaw jacking after the match, but he turned around into a savate kick by Umaga, much to MVP's pleasure. The Samoan Bulldog (© Mike Adamle) then hit Kennedy with the Spike. I just hope that Umaga's hair this week was not a new look. We cut backstage to Chavo, Bam and Edge. Chavo was all on Edge's side of things, saying he'd have done the same thing in Edge's shoes. And you know, he'd go and straighten out Vicki and give her a piece of his mind. Chavo & Edge would always be family... Edge appreciated the words... We came back from break, and Chavo was indeed giving Vicki a piece of his mind. How dare Edge treat her that way??? Chavo berated Edge and called him a liar. Chavo reminded her that they were family. However, Vicki either saw the footage that just aired or was smarter than Chavito gave her credit for as she told him to cut the crap and on top of that, she was putting him in a match against HHH! Finlay & Hornswaggle def. The Miz & John Morrison in a "Just need to keep telling myself it wasn't for the titles..." non-title match For the first time in a long time, MA BOYZ~! came out separately. How very odd, given recent outings. That said, it did allow them to recap what happened on ECW in The Miz's match against Finlay. The Irish then made their way out. Finlay and Morrison started things off. Finlay ran down Morrison, and then clubbed him in the back. Miz got a cheapshot, but Finlay pulled him in and worked over the pair of them. Hornswaggle was then tagged in. 'Swaggle whipped off a pair of stunners, but as JR wondered if he was gonna break out the brewskies, the Champs hit the little guy with a double dropkick. The heels then began to work over and mock Hornswaggle. However, while Morrison was on his knees, Horny scored with an enziguri and tagged in his daddy. Finlay scored a missile dropkick from the second rope for a 2 count. Morrison kicked Finlay but ran into a Celtic Cross, but Miz broke it up at the last second. Morrison made it across to make the tag. However, while the ref was clearing the ring of Morrison, Finlay hit Miz with the shillelagh and Hornswaggle scored the Tadpole Splash for the pin! ---------- 6/10 - Short, but re-established the Irish pair as contenders for the titles. As long as they don't win them... ---------- Triple H def. Chavo Guerrero in a "Shows you, Chavo..." non-title match We came back from break as it was time to play a game. Well, THE Game. It's still kinda hard to believe that he's on this show. Chavo & The Fence came out next. And indeed, Bam and HHH had a staredown before the match began. And Charles Robinson was back! Jr even noted it, as Chavo tried to work a hammerlock, only for HHH to easily elbow him off. HHH grabbed and wrung Chavo's arm, and when Chavo tried to counter it, HHH punched him down and sent Chavo through the corner to the ringpost. Hunter continued to work the arm, but scored a kick to the gut before working Hunter over in the corner. Neely tripped HHH up as Robinson backed Chavo up. Chavo stomped away before Bam got another cheapshot in. Nice back suplex scored a 2 count. On HHH! Abdominal stretch on the mat by Chavo, but HHH got up fairly quickly, and then Chavo met with a high knee. HHH then clotheslined Chavo for 2. Chavo telegraphed HHH, but ran into a HIGH Double A Spinebuster. HHH then dealt with Bam Neely. Chavo tried to go for a suplex (probably the three of him), but HHH had enough and Pedigreed him there and then for the win. ---------- 5.5/10 - Chavo certainly got more offence than I expected, but it was still pretty much verging on "superstar squash" territory. ---------- After the break, JR & Foley welcomed us back to the show as they promoted the main event, but it was now official, as Michelle & Natalya would face each other for the fugly Divas Title at the PPV, which sent us to... Maryse & Natalya def. Cherry & Michelle McCool in a "Natalya really wants THAT title?" match Natalya and the future Mrs. Zah came out first, before Michelle & Cherry made their way out. And I still love Cherry, the second hottest woman on the planet (second to Molly Holly, of course...). Michelle and Maryse started things off. Michelle got a quick 2 and scored with an uppercut. Maryse avoided more punishment with a cartwheel, but posed too long and turned into a Michelle dropkick. Cherry was tagged in and scored a snapmare for a 2 count. Natalya came in off the tag, but was shoulder blocked by Cherry for a quick 2 count. Natalya then herked Cherry up and slammed Cherry in such a way as Cherry's legs hit the middle rope. Nattie then went to work on Cherry's leg. Neidhart went for the sharpshooter and Cherry immediately tapped! ---------- 5/10 - Fine enough. Lots of Nattie is a good thing. Little of Maryse is a good thing, at least right now. And while it was a sudden finish, it played into the story of the match and the whole segment put Natalya over big, so I'd consider it a win. ---------- After the bell, Nattie jumped back in the ring and attacked McCool, who she has legit heat with. McCool was dumped to the outside and Nattie gave her a snap suplex before telling Michelle that the title was hers. Jesse & Festus def. The Rated Rmy by Countout in a "Well, they tried..." match And them matches just keep coming! This time, it was time for Jesse & Festus to come out to the ring. Jesse had a more serious look on his face this week while Festus looked...well, like Festus does. The Rmy then made their way out next. Oddly enough, when the bell rang, Jesse held Festus back, because he wanted to start things off, which he did with Hawkins. Jesse flailed his arms at Hawkins in the corner, but Hawkins caught Jesse with a knee to the gut and the tag tot Ryder. Jesse scored a crossbody and Festus was tagged in. Festus worked over Ryder, hitting a sidewalk slam, before hitting a big clothesline. However, he missed a splash. The Rmy debated their next move and decided to give the match up and take the 10 count! ---------- 4/10 - Match was nothing, but the angle afterwards was quite cute, with the Rmy using the idea of getting the bell rung for make Festus docile. Could do with seeing less of this particular match though... ---------- However, there was method in their madness, as the bell was rung for the end of the match. And that meant Festus went back to being Festus. The Rmy surrounded the ring and attacked Jesse. They threw him out the ring, before hitting a double spear on Festus. However they made a mistake. They threw Jesse out by the announce table and that allowed Jesse to crawl over and ring the bell, re-animating Festus. He went to work on the pair and Jesse joined him to dump the Rmy out the ring. DOH! After the break, we saw a HHH promo to the King Of Kings theme, which recapped his greatness and how Smackdown wouldn't be the same again. Gotta get that DVD, but I'm still waiting on my Rock & Flair efforts to arrive in the post. Vladimir Kozlov def. Stevie Richards in a "There goes Stevie's neck again..." match Teddy Long's generosity was in effect again as we saw Stevie Richards in the ring. And then, in SHOCK OF SHOCKS, Kozlov HAD MUSIC!!! Pretty cool "industrial"-like metal with lyrics in Russian. Stevie got a side headlock in, but was run down by Kozlov. Richards fired in some kicks and dropped Mad Vlad for a 1 count. However, Kozlov took Richards into the corner and choked him with his boot. Knees to Stevie's gut was followed by clubs to the head and a bodyscissors. Stevie fought out of it, and delivered some good shots, hitting an enziguri for a long 1 count. Kick to the gut in the corner. However, a corner dive was missed and Kozlov headbutted Richards in the back of the head and neck for the three count. ---------- 4/10 - It's funny but the more Kozlov is tested, the more he impresses me... ---------- We cut backstage to the men of La Familia as Edge & Chavo were arguing. Hawkins and Ryder made it more TNA promo-riffic by coming in and shouting too. Edge got them shut up and said Vicki had screwed with all of them. So why don't they show unity and come out with him? They derided the notion, but Vicki rolled in and said if any of them helped Edge, they would be fired. And if Edge didn't take his beating like a man, he'd get fired too. If he was a man, that is... We got the RAW Rebound which saw Batista get a title shot and which saw Kane get his seemingly-annual STORYLINE OF WACKINESS~! JR was relieved that he wasn't in Michael Cole's seat on Monday night as we saw him and Mickles at ringside to go over the main matches on the GAB card. Edge & Big Show wrestled to a No Contest in a "I'm almost in tears..." match Big Show made his way out to the ring first. Edge then, must have proved his manliness, as he came out to the ring. As Edge got in the ring, Hawkins & Ryder wheeled Vicki out to the entrance to watch over things. Right away, Big Show took it to Edge. A scoop slam saw things go outside. Edge was sent into the guardrail as Vicki looked on stoically. Big Show took the top off the announce table before giving Edge a chop. However, Edge wriggled out what looked like being a powerslam through the table and scored a spear as we took our final chance to pay the bills. We came down and we saw that Vicki was now at ringside and Edge had a kendo stick in hand. however, Big Show caught the shot and went to press slam Edge on the announce table. Edge got out of that using the butt of the cane, but Big Show stayed in control, but sending Edge into the guardrail and then the steel steps. Edge was then given the big chop by Big Show, sending Edgeward over and into the crowd. However, Edge raked the eyes and then jumped off the rail, giving Big Show a bulldog. Back in the ring, Big Show ran into Edge's boots, with the Rated R Superstar putting on a sleeper (of sorts). It certainly got Show down to a knee. However, Show side slammed out of it. A headbutt sent Edge into the corner. Edge was whipped across and Show splashed him before hitting a shoulder block. Big Show went for a chokeslam, but Edge countered and hit a DDT. That scored a 2 count. Edge went back outside to get himself a couple of chairs. He put one in the corner and ran at Show with the other, only for Show to punch the chair into Edge. Vicki looked concerned, but Edge scored a low blow before Big Show could finish things. Edge got hold of the chair again and smacked Big Show in the back with it. However, rather than a cover, Edge decided a ConChairTo was the order of the day. However, Big Show grabbed Edge and chokeslammed him. Big Show then decided to give Edge a taste of his medicine and set for a ConChairTo of his own. However, Vicki got on a mic and screamed for the match to be stopped! Charles Robinson was forced to ring for the bell and Big Show left disgusted. ---------- 7/10 - Serviceable enough match that told the story and led up to what was to come. That's good enough for me... ---------- Vicki cradled Edge as the crowd booed. Vicki said (off mic) that she loved Edge and she was sorry. Edge smiled and told her he loved her too! More boos! Edge re-proposed and Vicki again said yes! They then started macking on each other to vociferous booing as the show ended. Aww bless...It's enough to soften a heart of stone... OVERALL - 8/10 (+ 1 on last week) - If Edge & Vicki do not sweep every single official and unofficial award they can possibly get at the end of the year, then there is something very wrong in this world. Hell, I don't want to even ask why they called the wedding off only to have it back on the next again week, because the pair are so awesome in their roles. And the fact is, unlike any of the bullpoopy that TNA call the Kurt & Karen split, this story has been told in an INCREDIBLY realistic way. The split last week was so great since it was their first ever fight and unlike TNA, they didn't tease it endlessly to the point where people were bored with it coming when it eventually did. And now this week, Vicki looked to punish the man who spurned her with an incredibly tough match, only to realise that she truly loved him and thus stopped the thing. This was just great stuff. And it enveloped an entertaining show around it, with a couple of very decent-to-good matches. Certainly none of them sucked at all. A very pleasant way of spending a couple of hours. Aaron Wood is ready to start his next job which will take him a couple of weeks. He got himself a copy of the official Olympic games computer game for the PS3 today. While he's not had much practise at it yet, he's not overly impressed, so it won't be making it onto his list of recent games below. However, with the new Burnout update, he will be playing that more. He also bought Wrestlemania 24 on Blu Ray. Hey, he read the criticisms, but it's the first Blu Ray he's bought and thanks to computer outages, he missed some of Flair's last match, and the DVD was only £5 less, so screw it... When he's bored, and he gets bored easily, you can normally find him on the WWI Forums or playing "Wrestler" on Facebook with many of his WWI friends. Or he'll be playing one of his many PS3 games, which include Burnout Paradise, Unreal Tournament 3, Uncharted, Gran Turismo 5: Prologue and GRAND THEFT AUTO IV~!~!~!~!. You can find him with the username "aaron24wood", if you want to so battle with him. Aaron's mood today was...contented... Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on ClubWWI.com : Aaron
Aguliera Christian
Cage Jackie
Gayda Chalie
Haas B.G.
James Bruno
"Harvey Wippleman" Lauer One
Man Gang Diamond
Dallas Page Sylvester
Terkay
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2008 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not
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