Smackdown
Aaron's (Exra Short) UnReal Time Smackdown Review: You Are Cordially Invited To...A Reception
By Aaron Wood
Jul 18, 2008 - 4:47 PM

Hi there everyone. I've got some 'splaining to do. If you haven't read or heard, I just started a new job today which while it's only going to last a couple of weeks (and right now, thank the non-existent lord!), it's going to put a HUGE strain on my time constraints. So much so that while I'm actually doing this earlier than I normally would, I'm only doing so because 1) I was let go home early for the lack of anything to do today and today alone and, 2) because I need to be up so early that I need to go to bed sharpish, that forget all the silly little bits and bobs I always do, such as vaguely, but truthfully saying what happened last week and having funny little quips in match heading and having an ever changing bio at the end. I don't have the time to think all that stuff up or really to write it down. But don't worry, normal service will be resumed in a week or 2.

What happened between last week and this...
We open up with a replay of Edge & Vicki's great love for each other before touching on how Vicki found love again with Edge, and tonight we'd celebrate their love. However, we go back to earlier today, as we see Vicki & Edge get married. Chavo does a "bit" where he pretends he doesn’t have the rings, but beyond that, the thing goes without a hitch. WHY WASN'T THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING??? IMAGINE THE HEAT!

Anyway, JR tells us that tonight, we'd be treated to the Wedding Reception. Some of La Familia are already on the stage, made up like a dinner when Chavo comes out. He is followed by Edge & Vicki, and my God, do the happy couple look great. I don't think the now twice married Vicki should be wearing white though...

Chavo proceeds to cut a promo give a toast as best man. Chavo welcomed Edge into the Guerrero family, even though he's a "changed" man from his wild days. Right, now for the most controversial joke I've ever touched, but does that the new husband Edgey Guerrero? Chavo said it would be an honour to be by Edge's side on Sunday when he beat HHH for the Title, cutting to a mock up of a WWE Magazine cover noting an Edge win.

Edge got on the mic and said it was the most wonderful day of his life and the day to make Vicki the happiest woman in the world, and the best way to do that is give her some "action". Not that kind to dirty, dirty people. Some wrestling action!

The Rated Rmy def. Finlay & Hornswaggle
Finlay & Hornswaggle come down to the ring as we saw the graphic of the Four Way Tag Title match on Sunday. And The Hardys won on ECW because? Edge got on the mic and said he saw Finlay & the kid come out every week and cheat. But the Rmy were too smart for that. Another guy who was too smart was the special referee...him.

The Rmy & Edge proceed to take off their tux jackets, although it looks as if they are going to wrestling in their shirts, waistcoats and pants. Edge too wears his formal get up. Edge immediately throws the handy shillelagh back up to the entrance. Foley is able to tell the Rmy apart by the colour of their cummerbund. Thing is...they weren't wearing any... Finlay went after Hawkins, but Edge kept stepping in and pushing him away. Ryder came in with a neckbreaker for a very quick 2. Neck Vice by Ryder. Finlay gets taken over into the corner but fights back. He brought Hornswaggle in, and they hit a splash spot, but Edge shoved him down. Finlay went for a Celtic Cross on Edge, but one of the Rmy chop blocked that to save the new husband. Edge then speared Finlay and one of the Rmy made the pin for the win.

The first dance...
After the match, the trio went back up the ramp where Justin Roberts announced that Edge & Vicki would have their first dance. And with the aid of a couple of singers, that's precisely what they did. Until Big Show came out, that is. But hey, he was only looking for cuts, as he shoved Edge aside and danced a bit with Vicki. Thing is, Edge wasn't too happy. He got on the mic as Big Show beamed and noted that Show knew his match was next, but he didn't know who he'd be facing, but Edge did. Big Show made his way to the ring to find out. We cut to a break there.

Big Show def. The Great Khali, Vladimir Kozlov, Shelton Benjamin & MVP by DQ
We came back with MVP & Shelton already in the ring and as Kozlov hit ringside. Then Great Khali came out, much to Edge's enjoyment. Foley claimed that Vicki's name was now Vicki Guerrero-Edge. So what is Edge's first name? He can't be Edge Edge, can he? Hell, we missed that bit in the wedding! Also, it should be noted that while these people provided the wedding party with entertainment, they also sat down to dinner! Glorious!

Shelton failed in a lock up. MVP didn't even try one. Kozlov went for a Judo throw and failed. Khali tagged in and went nose to nose with Show. Big Show downed Khali with a clothesline. All four heels came in (well, MVP was brought in), and as things broke down, the ref called for the bell). However, Khali hit an overhand chop to Show's head, which allowed the heels to gain control. Kicks by Shelton & MVP and a running headbutt by Kozlov. It ended with Khali giving Show a Khali Bomb.

Foley plugged that Matt Hardy would face, of all people, Jeff Hardy, later.

The Bouquet toss!
We came back to see Vicki in the centre of the ring (and we got the obligatory "EXCUSE ME!"), as she (eventually) said that it was a wedding tradition to gather all the single girls and see who could catch the bride's bouquet. We cut to see all the Smackdown Divas in dresses at ringside. As we cut to them, Michelle & Natalya got into a fight. Vicki demanded that Michelle be taken away. And then, after they pretty much took a turn at dropping the thing, MY LOVE CHERRY~! caught it (I'M COMING FOR YOU, MY DARLING!!!). Thing is, her immediate prize wasn't me. Vicki said that she was worried about Cherry and that she thought Cherry would never get married. But she did catch the bouquet, she got a prize. It would be a match. Against Vicki! But first, she would have to face Natalya! Cherry looked crestfallen. And then she looked worse as Natalya pounded on her and put on the sharpshooter within seconds for the win!

Vicki called for the bell and picked up and immediate three count!

Brian Kendrick (with "Ezekiel") def. Jimmy Wang Yang
We came back with the sound of a returning Jimmy Wang Yang, as Foley noted that he looked rested. And then, with some brand new music and a brand new black bodyguard in tow, Brian Kendrick came out, and was looking rather pleased with himself. Arrogantly so, indeed, for he was now a bad guy! Or a heel, if you weeeel...

Jimmy offered a handshake but Kendrick was having none of it, as Foley praised Brian's new look with the trunks instead of the "tent-like shorts". Jr said he noticed a change in Kendrick since he moved to Smackdown. That would be despite this being his first appearance. Foley claimed that he was always a jerk. They traded holds until Yang got a hammerlock. Spanky grabbed the ropes and told the ref to "get him off me!". Yang clotheslined Kendrick out, but missed a dive. Yang and the bodyguard caught eyes, but Kendrick got the jump. Kendrick then began to work over the arm and shoulder of Yang. Kendrick hit a hammerlock slam on Yang, although despite JR's comparison, Foley didn't see much Ole Anderson in Spanky. Kendrick went for a Fujiwara Armbar, but Yang blocked and scored a backslide for a 2 count. Yang then hit a missile dropkick for a nearfall. Yang scored a spinning enziguri. However, as Yang went up for the moonsault, he saw Ezekiel again, allowing Kendrick to hit a powerbomb and then the Sliced Bread #2 for the three count.

Backstage, some geek handed some Slim Jim's o Edge. Must be advertising them or something.

Umaga def. Mr. Kennedy
Kennedy came out first to cut a promo. He said he might be from Green Bay, but they were kicking it in North Cacalacky, before hitting the Mr. Kennedy...Kennedy bit, which it has to be said, is scoring BIG as a babyface bit. Kennedy tried early with punches and clubbing forearms, but Umaga knocked him down. Kennedy avoided a falling headbutt, but was run down with a clothesline soon after. Kennedy fought back and went for the running boot in the corner, but the Samoan blocked it. Umaga then went to work on the back on Kennedy, with hard clotheslines into the corners. Umaga then grabbed a nerve hold.

This went on for a while. And every time Kennedy seemed to fight back, he was taken down and the hold went right back on. Kennedy even seemed to fall asleep, although his hand only fell twice. Kennedy got out of the hold, but was hit with a Samoan Drop as we took a break.

We came back to see Kennedy put back in the nerve hold, although Kennedy got out quick. However, a bodyslam didn't work, with the Samoan squishing him. And then, guess what? Yep, more nerve hold! And again, as Kennedy tried to fight back, he took an uppercut. However, this time, Umaga headed to the second rope, much to the happy couple's approval. However, a diving headbutt missed. Umaga then missed a corner charge only to be met with a spinning roundhouse kick. That got Kennedy a 2 count. The Mic Check was blocked and Umaga hit the Samoan Spike for the win.

We came back to see the wedding planner looking over the cake. And Foley mentioned Edge's Slim Jim commercial, so that's what it was all about.

THE BEST TAG TEAM EVER~! def. Jesse & Festus
Miz & Morrison came out first, followed by Jesse & Festus, much to the Rated Rmy's chagrin. Festus went after the champs on the bell, but Jesse got him out the ring and started the match. Jesse hit a nice back suplex on Morrison and then tagged Festus in, who tagged Morrison. Festus worked Morrison over and hit a bodyslam. He then tagged Jesse in and bodyslammed him onto Morrison. Jesse then monkey-flipped Morrison out the corner and hit a crossbody for a 2 count. Miz caused a distraction and the heels were able to gain control.

Jesse was able to tag in Festus, and he worked over the champions. He hit a bicycle kick on Miz and hit the Flying Biscuits. He then launched Jesse into Miz. Morrison broke it up. On the outside, Festus ran into the ringpost when Morrison moved. The heels distracted Jesse, and while Festus recovered enough to hit Morrison with the flapjack on the outside, Miz hit the Reality Check for the three.

We came back from break to see the RAW Rebound, themed by Stephanie & Shane's pleas for unity interspersed with moments of anarchy. It then ended with CENA'S (NON) DEATH~!~!~! They came back to immediately pimp the Cena/JBL match, only noting that Cena was OK, before noting the rest of the main matches.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy went to a No Contest
This match was apparently order by the bride and groom, although both men came out together. Although it quickly became clear why, as they picked up the wedding cake and tossed it at the scrubs of La Familia, with most of it hitting Chavo. We came back with La Familia still pissed off with the Hardys. The brothers locked up, with then exchanging holds. Matt scored a 2 count off a snap roll up, although while Jeff had a Twist Of Fate blocked, he ran up the ropes and hit a Whisper In The Wind. Jeff hit his leg drop pin-thing for a 2 count. Matt sent Jeff out, but he skinned the cat. However, Matt sent him right back out again.

Matt rolled Jeff back in and called for the Twist Of Fate. However, when Jeff blocked it, Matt put on a bodyscissors headlock. Jeff ran that into the corner, where he then hit his rolling dropkick in the corner. That scored a 2 count. Side Effect was blocked by Jeff. And then Jeff hit one of his own! Jeff went up top, but the Swanton missed. Matt went up top for a moonsault which connected for a 2 count.

At that point, the wedding party crashed the ring and beat up the Hardys for the end of the match. They held each brother up and Edge hit each of them with spears.

The bit with HHH
We came back with the wedding party in the ring. It was also like a Cutting Edge. Carpets and stools. Everything! Edge said that they said a wedding day was the happiest day of their life. Edge didn't really know what it meant, but now he understood and words couldn't express how much he loved Vicki. He loved her from the bottom of his heart. He couldn't show her physically (at least right now), but he had the monkey's in the back put together a package.

That cued a video of greatness showing Edge & Vicki in loving situations. We even got reminded of this!



That and so many other brilliantly inspired moments.

And then it was time for HHH to come out. And indeed, he had a little gift himself which was in a long and narrow box (you can probably guess). HHH said that they probably weren't pleased to see him, but he does have a reputation of appearing at these occasions. However, he could promise them that he wasn't out there to tell them that he was secretly married to Vicki. No. He's there for the same reason the crowd were. To celebrate true love! The love they feel for each other. And indeed, he brought a couple of gifts, and while he didn't have the resources or time to make a video like Edge's. But he did do one...

We cut to a scene of Edge trying to read a magazine in his hotel. There was a knock at the door. Edge downed some mints and answered it. And in came...THE WEDDING PLANNER! She wondered where Vicki was. But Edge blew off that idea, and said he was in the dark about some wedding stuff tomorrow. They went over some arrangements.

Before things went too far, HHH stopped the video. He said that Edge didn't look happy, and indeed, it was a bit boring (his paraphrased words, not mine...), so let's cut to a bit later...

Edge & Alicia are now sharing a laugh. Edge said that the white rose symbolised purity. And the scent was so attractive, getting Fox to sniff it. He then sniffed her scent, although she said she wasn't wearing anything. He said sweet nothings about her natural aromas. He then rubbed her shoulder, before claiming his trapezoid had locked up on him, getting her to rub it for him.

HHH again stopped the video. Edge claimed that she knew he had a bad neck with a plate in it and everything, so it was entirely plausible. Edge ordered the Familia to go and get him, which led HHH to his boxed gift. His good ol' sledgehammer. La Familia decided better of it, and HHH re-cued the video, and this time, Edge was rubbing Alicia's back. Edge suggested that he could get the knot in her back better if she wasn't wearing a bra, noting a story about him going lingerie shopping for Vicki, but they apparently didn't sell in Vicki's size, saying he was told to go to the "big girl" shop, noting that Vicki liked "granny panties", to which they shared a laugh.

HHH noticed things were a bit awkward and he felt a bit embarrassed. He didn't watch it before he made it. And that bit killed gift three, which was a pair of Granny panties, bit Edge apparently had her covered in that area. But let's just cut to the chase now, and the final chapter of this love saga. We saw Edge & Alicia stare into each others eyes. He took off her glasses and then, well, you can probably guess. Edge invited Alicia to have a sleepover. With relations! They ended up kissing as the video cut. I'm guessing the porn is for HHH only.

Vicki went ballistic on Edge. Strangely, the sausage factory segment of La Familia did nothing. Edge retreated from the ring as Vicki screamed and the show ended.

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