Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Now Even WWE Is Offering Ways To Fix The BP Oil Disaster...
By Aaron Wood
Jul 30, 2010 - 5:42 PM

undefined undefined Hey everyone! Just wanted to note something before I start this week. Last week, I included the video for the new single by Klaxons called "Echoes". Now, since after posting the review last week, I was NOT completely swamped with messages on Facebook either at my own page or the WWI Page (links at the bottom) saying how awesome the video or the track was. So, because of this, I'm posting it again, because it deserves it.



Love it, people! LOVE IT! Beyond that, more new videos!

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Kane's face bored the production truck, Stage 1 of the MNM comeback was completed, Cody helped all our noses and Rey won the chance to face the guy who once kidnapped him and put his mask in a bag...

THIS WEEK…
We recap Kane's victory speech and then Rey Mysterio's victory over Jack Swagger to get the Summerslam title shot, with Kane again saving Rey from a post-match attack but this time, until at MITB, failing to take Rey out. Hmm... I wonder if Kane will say something about Rey any time soon...

Why he wasn't the prime suspect, I don't know...
We immediately cut to Kane in the ring with a red light bathing the ring and a casket in the ring with him. For 60 days he sat by Undertaker's bedside, willing him to awake from his coma. And then, just yesterday, Taker moved. He opened his eyes and Taker spoke. His voice was shot to hell, and said only two words, but those words would be forever engrained in Kane's psyche, since it was the name of his assailant. A tidal wave of anger flowed through his being. He couldn't believe it. The entire time, the guilty was staring him in the eyes but he was blind to see it. And that man?

Rey Mysterio.

Taker closed his eyes and slipped into a coma again, but the words hung in the air like a demon. Why Rey? How could you have done it? You couldn't have done it alone, but it didn't matter. Hey, it's pretty friggin' obvious when you think about it. Rey had the most to gain. Taker beat Rey to get a spot in the Fatal Four Way match. However, Rey took the cowards way out, and then the next week, Rey won the battle royal and got into the match, and then a fortnight later, he won the title when he should have felt shame. Rey Rey only won because Taker wasn't there to stop him. But KANE STOPPED REY! He cashed in his MITB shot and brought his brother's holy grail back to the Darkside, and at Summerslam he would win again, but this time it wouldn't be enough. This time, Kane vowed to make Rey pay and experience what his brother did.

Kane opened the casket (complete with camera shot from inside the casket), as he reeled off the various nasty things he would be doing to Rey come Summerfest. And when was all said and done, Rey would shut the lid and Rey, as we know him, would cease to exist. Rey's would be sealed, and so would his soul as his live oozed out of his pores. And Rey's last thought would be to repent and then the only thing left would be the darkness. Kane shut the lid again to end the segment, presumably trapping the poor cameraman who was in there, like he plans to do to Rey.

It's funny, but while I didn't totally dig the big production promo with flash backs and clips and music and such, I actually really liked this. Kane certainly did a great job on his end.


Darwin Deez - "Up In The Clouds"

Back from break, The Legend That Is Todd Grisham and Matt Striker, your teacher, were shocked by the apparent reveal, noting Rey still had to wrestle tonight.

Christian def. Drew McIntyre in a "Luck, thy name is Christian" match
As Christian came out, we saw last week's tag team match where Matt punched Christian, seemingly by accident. Drew backed Christian up to start, but Christian ducked out of the corner and looked for a sunset flip, but Drew blocked it and hit a stomp before going after the arm. Drew went for a slam, but Christian got out before elevating Drew over the top to the floor. Christian missed a baseball slide, but hit a dropkick, landing Drew on the edge of the ring. Drew went under the ring, but as Christian looked for him and reached in, Drew pulled Christian's arm into the metal frame of the ring. Really neat spot you don't see, well, ever.

This was Drew's cue to really target the arm. Christian was shoulder blocked and as Christian pulled himself up on the apron, drew clotheslined him down to the floor. We came back just in time to see Christian jump back in the ring at a 9 count thanks to a shoulderbreaker on the steel steps. Drew hit something of a "choking slam", in so far as he picked Christian up by the head and neck and slammed him back down again, but it wasn't your usual chokeslam deal. Drew followed with a trapped-arm bodyslam before working him over on the apron, asking what Christian has learned.

Well, he soon learned how to kick out at 2, since that's what happened. Drew ran Christian's shoulder to a ringpost, before putting on a wristlock. Christian punched his way out and got some shots in, using his one good arm and various other body parts. He hit a drop toe hold into the ropes, but Drew countered his follow up. However, Christian slipped out to the apron and snapped the back of McIntyre's neck off the top rope. Christian came off the top with a crossbody, but McIntyre rolled over for a 2 count. Drew and Christian teased their finishers, but Christian eventually hit the reverse DDT. However, as they got up, Drew got a snap armwringer for 2.

Drew came off the second rope with a stomp, but Christian got the feet up on the jump. The double-jump sunset flip picked up a 2 count, before Triple C blocked a charge and hit the Euro Uppercut from out of the corner. Christian teased the Killswitch again, but Drew was savvy and sent Christian into the ringpost again. However, as Drew grabbed Christian for the Futureshock, Christian was able to block it and turn it into a cradle for the three!

----------
8/10 - Really good match. Not sure where any of it is going with these guys and/or Matt Hardy & Cody Rhodes.
----------

Another grooming tip from "Dashing" Cody Rhodes. This week, it was about how a face pack could clear your pores and porcelain-like skin.

We then broke the mould with the Alberto Del Rio promos as the newest one was first this week. We saw him at the pool table, and his topic subject for the week was his excellence.


Rolo Tomassi - "Party Wounds"

We cut backstage to CM Punk and the SES, and Punk was pissed. Pissed angry, not pissed drunk. Who was letting Punk down tonight, huh? He forced Serena to breathe so he could check she wasn't drinking. He chewed out "Joseph" (Joey Mercury) for not helping when Big Show unmasked him and when Luke jumped in to pile it on Mercury, Punk chewed him out for failing him at Mania and Punk needing the mask in the first place. He made a point about how he was wearing the sling and he couldn't stop Big Show. Mercury piped up that Show unmasked him as well, leaving Punk to wonder if Joey needed a tissue since he was such a crybaby. Punk said they would all be nothing without him and ordered them to do something tonight, or they'd get gone. My one prevailing thought was about how spectacular Serena's tattiebojangles looked.

Big Show def. Luke Gallows by DQ in a "Don't some people (like Canadian Bulldog) pay to have women walk over them in boots. It might be Big Show's thing..." match
Big Show came out before the break, and after the SES came out all fired up. However, Gallows may have been too fired up as Big Show bobbed out the way of his early shots before taking over and laying into Luke. As Big Show had Gallows in the corner, he got TONY THE CHIM! to put the mic in place for the big chop to make it even louder. Show with a front chancery before he dumped Gallows down and then he tossed him out. Big Show followed, but Punk kicked him for the DQ.

----------
4/10 - Not much to it. Just a setup for the angle after.
----------

All three men attacked Show on the outside and sent him into the steel steps. They set up Big Show's hand on the steel steps while Mercury gave him a chinlock. Oddly enough, it was now that Punk chose to take off his sling. I mean, why not do it a few second earlier and show he was fine instead of getting in the odd kick. Anyway, Punk started stomping a mudhole in Big Show's hand before inviting Serena and her heeled boots to walk it dry. Big Show made like he had passed out from the pain.

We came back to a shot of Big Show's apparently f**ked right hand.

Dolph Ziggler def. Kofi Kingston by DQ in a "So, Ziggler wins the title shot and their next match is another non-title match???" match
Don't ask me why, but at the bell, Grisham said that if Dolph won tonight, he'd get a title shot. Wasn't that last week? Could have sworn it was. Anyway, this one started on the mat, which if you have followed Matt Striker's sometimes outlandish factoids, led Grisham into talking about Kofi's original training that even had Striker calling BS.

Kofi scored a monkey flip that spun Ziggler right round before hitting the leap into the corner early, picking up a 2 count. The ref had to back Kofi up, which allowed Mr. Ziggles to get the drop on him. Dolph started to work the neck and back of Kingston, playing off of last week. However, Kofi hit a snap headscissors that sent Ziggler to the apron. Ziggler caught Kofi and hit a neckbreaker using the middle rope.

Ziggler put on a chinlock, but as Kofi looked to get out, Dolph rammed him into the mat and hit the leaping elbow drop for a 2 count as we took a break. We came back with Dolph still in control. Kofi tried punching his way back into it, but was hit with another neckbreaker for a 2 count. Ziggler put on a front chancery, but he bridged over, quite awesomely, for more pressure. Another neckbreaker was countered with a jawbreaker. Ziggler looked for a Fameasser, but Kofi avoided it and hit a catapult into the corner. Double chops were followed by a dropkick. The "Superman punch" connected, but Ziggler managed to hit the Fameasser for a 2 count.

Ziggler choked Kofi in the ropes. As the ref pulled Dolph back, Vickie slapped Kofi right in the chops. However, this just got Kofi PISSED. He took Dolph and and started throwing fists like a whirling dervish. Kingston just started pounding on Ziggler to the point where the referee threw the match out, seemingly on DQ.

----------
7/10 - A bit overly long this one, and it kinda falls under my umbrage of doing a long match but a cop out finish. However, it was a pretty cool angle that they ended up doing, with Vickie's slap firing Kofi up.
----------

Kofi tossed Ziggler over the announce desk and pounded on him some more before violently tossing Ziggler into the guard rail. More referees came out to hold Kingston back as they announced Ziggler won on DQ.


I Am Arrows - "Green Grass"

The RAW Rebound was the story of Team WWE's complete distension and Nexus's unity. The announcers mentioned the three matches so far announced.

Josh Matthews was with Jack Swagger. An unhappy Jack Swagger. What do you want to know, Joshie? How he feels about being left out of the title match? How Daddy Swagger is doing? Still in the hospital, by the way. Or do you want to know what will happen to Rey later? Well, he would break his arms and legs, throw him down stairs, out of the arena, and dump him in the Gulf Of Mexico. And he won't be competing at Summerslam.

Tiffany, Kelly Kelly and Kelly Kelly's boobies (seriously, they were very much front and centre here) walked past Rosa doing squats, as Tiffany's match was next.

Team LayCool came out first, followed by the Blondtourage. However, just before the match was due to start, Vickie came out and announced the match was still for the title, but it wouldn't be Layla who was wrestling because since Michelle was Co-Womens Champion, she was making the defence. Lucky that Michelle McTaker just so happened to be in her attire tonight, huh?

Michelle McCool def. Tiffany in a "I don't know what perplexes me more. The bait and switch in a WOMENS match or that Michelle kept Layla's title for her..." match
Michelle started by doing star-jumps and push ups. However, as she got up, Tiffany dropkicked her. Tiffany looked for, and hit, a superplex, picking up a 2 count. Layla tried to get involved, but the Blondtourage conspired to take her out. Tiffany went up top again, but Michelle caught her and hit the Faith Breaker for the win.

----------
3/10 - It was OK as far as it lasted. Tiffany isn't good and it didn't last long, but I have seen worse.
----------

LayCool celebrated in the ring, but Teddy Long appeared on the screen. He over-ruled Vickie's opinion and said there was only one champion. And if they couldn't decide who that one champion was by next week, he would. Decide that is. Not be the Women's Champion.

Alberto Del Rio again, and this was another new one, this time about how he was able to do everything he wanted to and wasn't bound by limitations unlike the rest of us who were "mentally constipated".


Brandon Flowers - "Crossfire"

Rey Mysterio & Jack Swagger fought to a No Contest in a "Finally, after four long years of reviewing Smackdown, I finally get to mention something topical in the news!" No DQ match
Swagger was on top early, pounding on Rey as he cowered in the corner. Rey was whipped hard into the corner, which led to an early Vader Bomb attempt, although Rey moved quickly. Swagger landed on his feet, but dropped into 619 position. However, Swagger got out the ring ion plenty of time. He then pulled Rey out the ring. He looked for the ankle lock, but Rey sent Swagger into the steel steps as we took a break.

We came back as Mysterio fought off a superplex, hitting a seated senton. However, he missed a crossbody off the middle rope. Swagger charged, but was low bridged out and was then headscissored into the guardrail. Swagger dropped Rey on the guardrail and then dumped him in the first row. Swagger followed him as we took a road trip. As Swagger went to put Rey over another rail, Mysterio turned it into something of a DDT, bouncing Rey off the rail. Mysterio shoved Swagger into the stands before climbing up a few steps onto the hand rail. He looked for a seated senton, but Swagger was too strong and Jack rammed him into those self same handrails before dragging Rey to the back.

Let's call it a match there...

----------
6/10 - Not a whole much to it. Just setting up the big spot at the end of the show.
----------

We cut backstage to see the buildings VERY green walls. Swagger tossed Rey over the merchandise table. The walked by an elevator as people were coming out of it! That was quite humourous. Mike Chioda tried to get them to take it back in the ring, but indeed, things went right outside into the Texan evening. They started fighting in the road as cars passed by! Indeed, one had to make an emergency stop and the driver traded pleasantries with Swagger. Swagger picked Rey up and headed towards the shore of the Gulf Of Mexico. However, Rey slipped out of his grasp and tossed him over the edge of the road. He followed with a seated senton. Rey booted Swagger in the chest, but Swagger caught a kick and launched in shots of his own.

Swagger said he was a champion and not half the man Swagger is. Swagger went to press slam Rey into the oily, oily water, but Rey turned it into a hurricanrana, sending Swagger in for a splash. Swagger begged for help, but Rey, callous son of a bitch he is, turned away. However, he turned right into Kane's hand, which grabbed him and chokeslammed into the water himself as we saw a close up of Kane to end the show.

OVERALL - So, Kane accuses Rey Mysterio, with apparent proof from the victim himself, of attacking The Undertaker. And literally the ONLY follow up on the whole thing is Kane chokeslamming Mysterio at literally the very end of the show. No rebuttal from Rey. No immediate attack from Kane as soon as Rey appeared on camera. Nothing but that one chokeslam. Seems rather odd.

Beyond that, pretty decent show, with some decent build in various places. For example, the Ziggler & Kingston feud. As I said, I didn't quite get the point of the second match happening, but angle it ended up with was pretty nice, since I like Kofi's more serious side. And they also moved on with the angle of the Co-Womens champions, which is where this was always heading. It'll be interesting to see who is the heel and the babyface in that one. And of course, there was the SES beating up Big Show and seemingly taking out his hand. I do think that the "Breaking Big Show's arm/wrist/hand" angle is pretty much done, but it gives them something to do.