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Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: The Hell In A Cell Support Society Forms...And Breaks Up
By Aaron Wood
As Eric Bischoff's old theme went..."I'm Back...And Better Than Ever!". Well, I would have made a joke here, but of all the really old Insanity's I have of Guttman's while Bischoff was in the WWE, I only have two columns that have the "misheard lyric" joke, and one of them was the one in Spanish...
Anyway, as it goes, for a few weeks at least, I'm done and dusted and waiting reparations for my time and energy and so am back on the Smackdown and Vintage Collection balls. so with that in mind... LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: MVP brought Jeff back...Back to his real life, Vicki brought Undertaker back...Back from the unemployment line and Runjin Singh came back... Back from the future! THIS WEEK… We kicked off with what passed for the Smackdown Rebound on RAW this week. An awesome video setting up the match made by Vicki last week featuring Hell in A Cell footage over Vicki's fantastic cackling laugh. And it could just be me, but those wedding singers get worse every time I hear them... JR & Foley introduced the show and apparently The Cutting Edge would have a surprise guest. Just remember that William Regal was the "hottest free agent" on Monday... MVP def. Jimmy Wang Yang in a "Didn't MVP know he's only allowed to mention reality once a decade???" match I know what the match headline reads, but the first guy out was Jeff Hardy. Foley, for reasons unknown, was surprised to see him there. Why? He works there. I'd be surprised if he wasn't around! Well, not really, if it meant he was fired. Jeff took a seat in front of the announcers after acknowledging that Yang was in the ring already. Coming out before the opening credits must kill these guys a little inside. MVP then came out. He got on the mic and by Christ, what was that on Jeff's neck??? Anyway, MVP said he yanked Jeff's coat last week and he'd never be WWE Champion. Hell, last week, he went out and engaged in some reckless behaviour and blew his chance to get the title shot. Montel won this one pretty quickly. He started out working on the ribs with knees and stomps. An inverted Full Nelson was locked in, but Yang tried to come back. He hit a dropkick for a 1 count and then hit the spinning kick in the corner. However, MVP countered the crossbody with a gutbuster and hit a Shining Wizard for the win. ---------- 5/10 - Short match to get MVP over and further the issue between him and Hardy. And it worked. ---------- After the match, Hardy got up and in the ring with a mic of his own. He said last week MVP got personal and Hardy took it like a man. But if he ever mentioned Jeff's personal life again, he'd prove what kind of man he is. MVP tried a cheap shot, but Jeff ripped off his brother and hit a Twist Of Fate. And after all the practise Porter got in blocking Matt's attempts at it... We came back form break to see Vicki & Chavo, as he talked about Edge's guest. They then saw Alicia Fox when Bam Neely burst out a door to say the office was ready. Or something. He kinda mumbled it. Ken Kennedy def. Shelton Benjamin in a "Is the push over already???" non-title match Kennedy came out first so he could cut a promo. The usual stuff. Although he's getting really good with the "call/response" stuff. Jr noted that Kennedy could do with a win, despite having had a bunch of matches since his return. Kennedy won in just over 10 minutes. Benjamin started out by taking Kennedy down, but Kennedy went for a quick Mic Check. However, Shelton grabbed a rope to block. Kennedy went to work on the shoulder of Shelton. Shelton cut him off with a suplex for 2. Kennedy scored a 2 count before going back to the shoulder. He even held onto the armbar when Shelton tried to get out of it. Kennedy hit the spinning kick, but his corner boot was blocked and then his shoulder was pulled into the post as we took a break. We came back and now Shelton was working the shoulder joint. Knee to the gut for a 2 count. Benjamin hit a shoulderbreaker for a deuce. Benjamin put on a cross armbreaker, even though it cost Shelton a couple of 2 count when his shoulders were on the mat. Kennedy tried reaching behind him to grab the rope, but instead he turned it into a near Texas Cloverleaf. Shelton was too close to the ropes though. Benjamin then pulled Kennedy out the ring. He ran Kennedy's shoulder into the side of the ring. Kennedy kicked out Shelton's knee and began to build momentum. Facebuster off the knee for 2. Benjamin came out the corner with a crossbody for a 2 count. They then fought over a backslide. However, when it was blocked, Kennedy suddenly hit the Mic Check for the win. ---------- 7/10 - Fine enough TV match. They maybe could have done with so much Kennedy offence in the beginning and gotten to the meat of the match early, especially since none of Kennedy's shoulder work mattered, but it didn't exactly take away form the bout either. ---------- The cameras remained on Benjamin as he left the ring. Eve Torres was at ringside to ask him what went wrong. Benjamin said he wasn't going to make excuses. He then went on to make excuses, claiming that he wasn't feeling well. Backstage, Chavo ran into the Rated Rmy wondering why Alicia Fox was at the show and who the Cutting Edge guest was. He left and they immediately started to talk about something on one of their MP3 players and possible action figures. Pair of f***ing geeks. Brian Kendrick def. Stevie Richards in a "Did I miss the note that Richards is Smackdown's property?" match Even though Kendrick is reminding people of Brian Pillman (including as noted last week, the announcers), the inspiration for all this is apparently Shawn Michaels and Diesel. That will mean that in 15 years, Spanky will be a Christian and Ezekiel will be politicking his way through a feud with a Samoan in another company... And indeed, he's now billed as "The Brian Kendrick". Kendrick got on the mic to say that there had been no attitude change in him. And yet when he said he was the most intelligent guy in the WWE, he meant exactly that. He teamed with London and got his foot in the door, but he doesn't care about the people. But if they had any problems with that, Zeke would take care of that... PUT THE US TITLE ON HIM NOW!!!! Now really, isn't Stevie an ECW guy or did I really miss something? I get one match on SD with Kozlov. I get him making a challenge for the second. But this? Kendrick won pretty damn quickly. He went to work right away with kicks, before putting on a camel clutch. Missile dropkick to the seated Richards scored another 2 count. He put on a Boston Crab, but Richards slapped Spanky in the back. Kendrick stayed on top still though, as JR noted that Richards had spent most of the match on the mat. However, Kendrick missed a charge and Richards built momentum with his own kicks. He scored a 2 count and then hit a fallaway powerbomb for another 2 count. Stevie booted Kendrick off the apron into Ezekiel's arms. However, when Kendrick went back in the ring, Richards was distracted by the big dude and Kendrick hit The Kendrick for the three count. ---------- 6/10 - Decent match to show The Kendrick go up against guys that are bigger than him and not just other Cruisers. I just hope they keep this push going and aren't just using it to get Ezekiel over before Zeke kills Spanky and gets a big push instead. ---------- After the match, Ezekiel picked Richards up and gave him a sore looking Torture Rack before dropping him down. Edge arrived in the building. Unfortunately, he did so just as we took a break. The Great Khali def. Jeff Hardy in a "Once again, it seems apt to point out that Jeff could be where CM Punk is right now..." match We came back from break to see the Number One Contender make his way out with "That 70's Guy" Mike Awesome Runjin Singh. Hardy then made his second entrance of the show. Khali put Hardy down in around 10 minutes overall. They had a stare down, but Jeff got some shots in, although none of them worked. Khali then got bored and clotheslined Hardy down. Hardy was worked over in the corner. And then in the middle of the ring. And then in the corner some more. Jeff threw a couple of kicks before going onto the second rope, but Khali slapped him in the chest, sending Jeffrey to the floor as we hit the ads. We came back and Hardy was still Khali's bitch. during the break, Khali sent hardy flying, quite spectacularly, into the steel steps. Khali then put on a nerve hold. Joy... At least Hardy kept it entertaining with his facials at being in the hold. Hardy punched his way out before hitting a Whisper In The Wind. He then followed up with a Swanton Bomb, but he took too long to cover and suddenly MVP was at ringside. Hardy decided to have a fight with him. However, as he did that, Khali grabbed Hardy by the head, pulled him back in the ring and clubbed his chest. Khali stalked his prey and then put on the Vice Grip. Hardy tried breaking it, but hardy wasn't getting out of it in a month of Sundays. Charles Robinson called for the bell. ---------- 6/10 - It was alright enough for a Khali match. In some ways Hardy is a perfect opponent. He's small enough to throw around and yet over enough that the "hope spots" work. ---------- After the match, after Khali and Singh appreciated the big man's work, MVP got in the ring and posed over the fallen Hardy. We saw THE JR & THE MICKLES~! at ringside as they talked about how last week we saw R-Truth and how we found out about his life before coming to the WWE. Yeah, because being K-Kwik was such a bitch. Anyway, this week, we saw a video about how Killings ended up in prison, and how he knew it wasn't the life for him. And when I write "prison", I mean Prison. Not TNA. I mean, TNA will air footage of Kaz burying WWE yet edit it to make it look like he's burying TNA, but WWE aren't that f***ing dumb. Maria def. Victoria in a "FINALLY!" match And at long last, after many weeks of promises, Maria made her way to the ring! even the announcers were relieved she had finally made it to Smackdown! JR said he would like to see Maria face Michelle McCool for the title. He probably stands alone on that one. Victoria then came out. Somebody needs to job, never mind how much more awesome they are. Victoria managed to work Maria over while trash talking her all the time. Greatness. She tossed Maria out, but after going after her, Maria got back in first and got a kick in. Maria got a headscissors, but Victoria hit a powerslam for a 2 count. Full Nelson by Victoria. A small "Maria" chant got going, but it didn't last long. However, Maria eventually managed to break the "Masterlock" and began to build momentum. Sunset Flip scored a 2 for the Playboy Bunny. Maria then came out the corner with a second rope clothesline for the three count. ---------- 4.5/10 - That did not live up to the protracted hype. Maria's just isn't that good a worker. ---------- We saw Edge & Alicia Fox. Edge wondered why she was there. She wanted her to be there, but he didn't want her backstage, but he got her a ticket to see the Cutting Edge up close. We came back from break to a HHH promo. You know, because he hadn't been on the show yet. Actually, hang on...He hadn't been on the show yet! I hadn't noticed! JR & Foley talked about RAW and Mike Adamle being named the new GM. I quite like the move to be honest. They then talked about the current Summerslam card, starting with the Cena/Batista match. On that, I've got no problem with them having this match even if it's a lock for Mania next year. Big Show def. Domino in a "Well, at least Domino gets to be on TV..." match Big Show came out. We took a break. Does Domino's entrance need built up to? Then answer was no. When we came back, Domino was already in the ring. Oddly enough, we got "main event" introductions for the match. Big Show killed the guy. The thing lasted about a minute. If that. ---------- 1/10 - OK then... ---------- After the match, rather apropos of nothing (other than last week's Battle Royal), Umaga's music played, and The Bulldozer made his way to the ring, and he and Big Show had a staredown. So first it was "The Best" in Mayweather, "The Biggest" in Khali, so I guess now he's facing "The Samoanest"... Backstage, Chavo told Vicki that no-one had seen or heard anything. They would have to find out like everyone else. And it was next. Going by the silhouette, I'd say the guest was Cody Rhodes, who in apparently banishing Bob Holly, stole his role as "mystery shadow in TV graphics"... Awesomeness... Edge made his way out, and Foley guessed that since we hadn't yet seen HHH, it'd be him. JR wondered if it's be Taker. As it goes, I just realised that Foley had been awfully quiet as they wondered who the guest would be. That would be for reasons we'd soon ascertain. However, while Edge was prepping for a Hell In A Cell match, when he got in the ring, we saw a Table, a Ladder and a Chair (Oh My...). Edge got a special lighting treatment as he sat on the chair. Kinda reminds me of the promo Eddie cut when he turned heel that last time. Edge said he had been trying to find inner peace, since his marriage went to s**t and in 2 weeks, he'd be facing Taker in the cell. Edge said he'd watched all the footage and saw all the cruelty, pain and suffering. All week, that was all he had seen. But tonight, he had surrounded himself with HIS instruments of destructions. The tables, ladders and chairs. Hell, they helped him banish Undertaker in the first place! He had also found the ONE person to help him against Undertaker. He'd help Edge thrive and survive Hell in A Cell. Mick Foley! Foley reacted with shock to being announced as Edge's guest, but got up and in the ring anyway. Edge said he knew they had history, but he was a changed man. And he knew Foley could look past the history, but also that something lingered in Mick. He cued up a video of Foley's match against Undertaker in the Cell. A pretty awesome video as it goes. Another one of Edge's film trailer-like videos. Edge said that it was a decade ago and they hadn't forgotten, but he knew his body feels the match like it happened yesterday. But after all that happened, he could still walk out on his own. But in comparison to how he could walk before the match, there was no comparison. Edge knew that it still burned him inside. Edge said that if Mick helped him against undertaker, it would excise those demons. Mick said that Edge was right in that he wasn't the same after that match. And while he'd like to help Edge, over the past months, he had hurt Foley's cred. The only thing Foley had was his word and bond with the fans, and for years, he had said Edge was the greatest superstar in the WWE, even when it wasn't popular to say it. But the fans thought he sucked. They saw an Edge who took short cuts, play the numbers game and play his wife. So Foley's answer was no. But there was one person who could. Edge. He needed to be the old Edge who made Foley say those things about him. The one who took the letters TLC and made them mean something. The one who smelt his own flesh burn and knew it meant victory! Hell, they had the greatest Hardcore match ever at Wrestlemania 2 years ago. He needed to be THAT Edge. he needed to take him to Summerslam because if Taker saw "this" Edge, Undertaker would tear him apart. God damn, Foley is still one of the best promos in the business. Edge said he understood, and attacked Foley, hitting him in the face with the mic. Foley fought back and got himself a chair, but Edge kicked it into Foley's face. Edge then hit a spear, and Mick's head hit the steel steps in doing so. That may or may not have been deliberate. Edge set up the furniture in the ring as Foley pulled himself back in the ring. Foley suddenly got the Mandible Claw on, but was kicked in the nuts for his troubles. Edge set Foley on the table, grabbed the chair and climbed the ladder. He dove on, putting Foley through the table. The show ended with Edge standing over Foley. OVERALL - 8/10 (+ 1 on last week) - It would be churlish to say that that final segment "saved" the show, as without it, this would have been a fine enough show that helped build Summerslam in almost everything it did. However, that "main event" was indeed far and away the best thing on the show. Edge was as awesome as ever, but that was also what I think, quite legitimately, that was Foley's best promo in years. Just awesome stuff you should go out of your way to see and that I can't do justice to. Aaron Wood has finally finished his stint as a van driver. A word of advice, if and when you come to the beautiful city of Edinburgh, Scotland, please don't bother with a rental vehicle. Don't drive in the city. It's a waste of everyone's time. We have a fantastic bus service and will soon have trams. Just don't drive. That said, he enjoyed being behind the wheel again. And he didn't kill anyone, even when he wanted to... When he's bored, and he gets bored easily, you can normally find him on the WWI Forums or playing "Wrestler" on Facebook with many of his WWI friends. Or he'll be playing one of his many PS3 games, which include Burnout Paradise, Unreal Tournament 3, Uncharted, Gran Turismo 5: Prologue and GRAND THEFT AUTO IV~!~!~!~!. You can find him with the username "aaron24wood", if you want to so battle with him. Aaron's mood today was...relaxing. Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on ClubWWI.com : Aaron
Aguliera Christian
Cage Jackie
Gayda Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Bruno
"Harvey Wippleman" Lauer Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Diamond
Dallas Page Harley
Race Sylvester
Terkay
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| All content contained here Copyright 2008 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
