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Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Breaking News...
By Aaron Wood
LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Kennedy looked like getting a US Title shot (and then got injured during the week...) Edge decided that Mick Foley as a colour commentator wasn't working out for him and unfortunately, Maria wasn't worth waiting for...
THIS WEEK… We start things off this week with last week's awesome main event segment, and if this is how Foley goes, then he went out on a high and with a bang. JR welcomes us to Hotlanta and Jimmy Jam Ross tells us that Foley is out thanks to last week and Tazz is "home" as this week's colour announcer. If you believe the news, that could be forever... Natalya, Victoria & Maryse def. Maria, Cherry & Michelle McCool in a "Trust Maria to not know what season it is..." Olympic 6-Diva match This was one of those deals where they dress up according to the theme. Maryse was a tennis player. Victoria was a gymnast (and f***ing hilarious with it!). Natalya was an equestrian. Michelle was in a beach volleyball outfit. Cherry was a boxer. Maria was a downhill skier. One of these women is not like the others. Suffice to say that 5 of them were dressed for today and one of them was preparing for Vancouver in 2 years time. Suffice to say that Cherry was my absolute favourite! And of course, JR & Tazz had to explain the Skier in the SUMMER Olympics joke... And apparently Maria is GREEK! They played up her Greek background and Maria's country was Greece, unlike the others who were for the USA. Then again, Maria probably thinks that she had childhood friends called Rizzo, Frenchy and Sandy, who was seeing that Danny guy... Michelle & Nattie Neidhart started off, with Anvil's daughter falling to a couple of pin attempts from Michelle and then Maria. However, Natalya dumped Maria to the outside. Cherry came in and hit a hammerlock DDT. Victoria came in and hit the Widow's Peak. Michelle gave Vicky a Big Boot. Maryse dumped Michelle and Maria gave her a bulldog. Nattie caught Maria and put her in the Sharpshooter for the win. ---------- 5/10 - Fun and inoffensive little match. And it put the right woman over. ---------- We cut backstage to find Bam Neely amongst kegs of booze. However, it wasn't liquor that did for him. He had been attacked and a single black rose has been left on his lifeless body... DUN DUN DUNNNNN!!!!! The Rated Rmy def. Jimmy Wang Yang & Shannon Moore in a "And Shannon jobs on the way out..." match Yes, that's right. If you haven't heard the breaking news, Shannon Moore was today released by the WWE, so this is his last match, so enjoy it while you can. By the way, I have some more "breaking news" for you... Canadian Bulldog Blows Goats, Aaron Wood Says  Bulldog's date for the evening has it's picture taken... But anyway, enough of the news reporting, back to the reviewing... We came back to see Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber come out to the ring. We recapped what we just saw in the knocked out Bam Neely. They were followed by the Asian Redneck and the now unemployed-poseur. Hawkins (who wears blue, it has been determined) and Yang started off. The babyfaces worked the arm early while making quick tags. However, Curtis cut Yang off and Ryder (in purple) tagged in. Neckbreaker by Ryder for a 2 count. He went to work on the neck area with a neck vice. Kinda self explanatory... Yang got out and scored a 2 count, but Hawkins made a blind tag and thus they stay on top of things before Yang knew what was happening. Nice suplex scored only a 1 count. Hawkins put on a chinlock. Yang jawbreakered out, but Ryder came in. However Moore managed to make the tag and he went to work on Ryder. Shannon scored a top rope crossbody for a close 2 count. Things began to break down and while the referee was dealing with Yang, the Rmy hit a double Implant DDT on Moore for the win. ---------- 6/10 - I don't particularly want them as Tag Champions, but this was the way to put them over. ---------- Eve was with MVP backstage. He came in and talked himself up before confirming that he'd be facing Jeff Hardy at the PPV. They sent it to SNME where we saw MVP boot Hardy in the head to help cost him the match. That would have been the first time most of the Smackdown viewership will have seen that. They came back and MVP was annoyed that they showed him attack Hardy but not Hardy attacking him the previous night on Smackdown. He reiterated that Hardy was his own worst enemy and he'd beat himself. Just like Canadian Bulldog has to do of a night...when not "entertaining" livestock that is... Jeff Hardy def. Shelton Benjamin by DQ in a "Lost again, huh, Shelton?" match JR noted this was a battle of North & South Carolina. Did he ever mention that when Shelton faced Matt? This one went for nearly 20 minutes. And it was a good 20 minutes. Things started out slow with them trading holds, although Shelton seemed to get the better of it in the early going, thanks to his MAD AMATEUR SKILLZ~! Benjamin worked in a chinlock. Hardy got out of it and hit a pair of armdrags before working the arm. Shelton took Hardy into the corner, but instead of a break, Benjamin hit a cheapshot and kicked away until Charles Robinson got him away. Shelton went back to the chinlock. Hardy got out and hit the spinning mule kick to send out the Gold Standard. Hardy then hit a plancha over the top rope. Back in the ring, Hardy slammed Benjamin and went up top, but Benjamin jumped up to join him. Shelton was knocked down, but Hardy missed the Swanton, costing him a 2 count as we took a break. We came back with Shelton still working Jeffrey in the neck, working in some good leverage while he did it. Hardy teased getting out, but Shelton held on, and scored a 2 count off it. It became a slugfest before Hardy went for a Whisper In The Wind. However, Benjamin cut him off, sending him crashing to the mat for a close 2 count. Benjamin went to work on the leg that Edge worked over on SNME. For those of you who didn't see or couldn't put up with Bulldog's review, that would be the left leg. Shelton scored a 2 off a chop block. Shelton then gave the leg a DDT (think about it) before wrenching on it some more. Benjamin moved to a Single Leg Boston Crab, although he broke it himself soon after. Hardy tried fighting back, but Benjamin kicked at the leg. He went back to the Single Leg Boston Crab. Hardy crawled over and made the ropes, before bailing out. Benjamin got clever and tried to jump onto Hardy from the apron, but Hardy blocked the dive. Back in the ring, Hardy began to build momentum. Hardy hit the turning clothesline thing for a 2 count. Hardy was whipped towards the corner, but he jumped up and hit Whisper In The Wind for a very close 2 count. Jawbreaker by Hardy saw Shelton prime for the corner dropkick. However Benjamin countered into a powerslam for a close 2 count. Benjamin stalked Hardy as he got up. However, Paydirt was blocked into the Twist of Fate. Hardy went up top and hit the Swanton, but MVP ran in form the crowd and kicked Hardy in the head, drawing the DQ. ---------- 8/10 - I'm not usually a fan of long matches having DQ finishes, but I think this made sense, and it's not as if Shelton was in anything like a winning position. Other than that, I thought this was a great TV, with a slower beginning but a great ending. ---------- Chavo & Vicki were backstage with Chavito suggesting that it was Undertaker who beat up Bam. Hawkins came in desperate to know where Ryder was. He checked a bunch of places, but no sign. Vicki suggested the parking lot, which Curt clearly never thought of since he huffed and left to check there... A "Broken Glass Arm-Wrestling Match"?!?!?! What is this? F***ING TNA?!?!?! We came back to see HHH make his entrance. He was wearing his pretty cool grey "King Of Kings" shirt, but he had the sleeves (short as they were) cut off! Kinda looked weird, in a "Jericho in short tights" way... Khali then came out with Runjin Singh. The game here was a normal wrestling match, but the area where the hand goes was covered in broken glass. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING????? Before they got started, Singh said Khali wanted to say something. Khali did say something. F*** knows what it was. All I know is that it's soon going to be made into a drop for Figure 4 Online's radio shows... Singh translated that HHH should get out while he could. He couldn't care that he had beaten the best in the industry, but the fact was that HHH had never gone one on one with the Great One with the Punjabi Nightmare. HHH told Runjin to find a lantern, rub it and get Khali back into it, because he was going to need to protection from HHH. Hunter said he normally comes up with a plan and doesn't tell anyone. But this would be a different case. He'd break Khali's legs and bring him down to his level before beating him. And if he wasn't down with that, you can fill in the rest... They then got down to the "contest". Oddly enough, HHH was the one who seemed to stall, as he kept pulling back. They eventually got going though, after Mickey Henson tied their wrists together. HHH looked like winning right away, but Khali came back, despite HHH using all his might. When he was on the verge of losing, HHH made his own comeback. However, when HHH was on the verge of winning a second time, Khali gave HHH a headbutt. Khali went for the Khali Bomb, but HHH blocked it and tried to come back. However, when he went for a Pedigree, he couldn't get it locked in. HHH fell victim to the overhand chop and then the Vice Grip. HHH tried to power out of it, but it was all for nought. Runjin told HHH that Khali had two words for Hunter... Suck It! Bulldog Sucks! Game Over! Well, I don't get why this had to have the "broken glass" part to it as the glass NEVER came into play, but no matter what, in terms of arm-wrestling segments, I thought this was a pretty good one. Well, it at least still blew HHH's arm wrestling bit with Scott Steiner out the water... We came back from break, and guess what? We saw Hawkins backstage and he just so happened to have been taken out and he too had a black rose on his person. We then hit the latest "R-Truth" video. These videos are really good and all, but still "R-Truth"??? We cut backstage to Chavo & Vicki. Chavo made mention of how all of La Familia had been taken out except for the two of them. WHAT HAPPENED TO RYDER??? Chavo suggested they go and find Edge and get help. Vicki didn't like the idea, but Chavo said he'd do the talking, saying they had no choice. Vladimir Kozlov def. Jesse in a "Nutty Russian vs. Nutty Bumpkin?" match Vladimir Kozlov made his way out first. And he had a mic in his hand. He cut a promo in Russian, before translating it himself in English, saying he was undefeated and he demanded better competition. Why did he speak in Russian at first if he was going to say it in English anyway? Jesse & Festus then made their way out. The bell rang and Festus went insane, even sending Kozlov scurrying, but Jesse and the ref pulled him back, since this would be Jesse's fight. Kozlov got the jump on Jesse with a front kick and headbutts to the chest before hitting an overhead belly to belly. Jesse got a couple of kicks in, including a dropkick to Kozlov for a 1 count. However he went up top and came off into Kozlov's headbutt for the three count. ---------- 2/10 - Short and fairly sweet for Mad Vlad, although the main plot point here was to tease a match with Festus. ---------- The bell rang again and Kozlov gave the now-dumb Festus a staredown. Now THAT might be interesting... RAW Rebound or: How I Learned to Stop Hoping The Young Guys Would Get Over And Love The Idea Of Two Main Eventers Feuding Who Happen To Become Tag Champions... Now Cena has become a 2 time Tag Champion, and each of his partners has been the guy he's feuding with... THE JR AND THE TAZZ~! (Hey, that kinda works...) ran down the Summerslam card. Chavo and Vicki were backstage. Chavo said that Edge had agreed to help them out and so he needed her to be cordial and civil to her estranged husband. She squished the rose she was holding as we went to pay the bills. THE Brian Kendrick def. Super Crazy in a "Wasn't Crazy drafted to ECW??? He certainly seems to think so..." match We came back to see THE Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel come out. Tazz immediately said he was sold on Spanky before JR pointed out that Tazz was a "The" before Kendrick. Spanky got on the mic and said knowledge is power and since he was so smart, he was the most powerful man in the WWE, before introducing his "advisor" Ezekiel Jackson. Nice to see he got a surname at last. Super Crazy came out (and to hammer home the point he was indeed drafted to ECW, worse a shirt with the ECW logo on it!). Kendrick hit a lovely dropkick for a 2 count, before hitting a series of kicks for another nearfall. Spanky put on a chinlock using Crazy's arms. Super Crazy got out, but another dropkick scored another deuce for Kendrick. Kendrick went to the Camel Clutch, adding some crossfaces for good measure. Another kick to the head? Another 2 count. Hey, if Chris Harris loved the clothesline, Kendrick loves the kicks. But at least Kendrick is good. Super Crazy began to battle back as Tazz noted that Crazy seemingly missed the memo telling him he was on ECW. Crazy hit a sitout facebuster and then a standing moonsault for a close 2 count. Crazy went up top for a moonsault, but Zeke distracted him long enough for Brian to hit The Kendrick for the three count. ---------- 6/10 - Fine enough to put the heels over. ---------- Ezekiel put Kendrick's coat back on his employer before putting Super Crazy in the Torture Rack. Backstage, Edge came into to see his wife and...well, whatever relation Chavo would be... Chavo had to calm Vicki down as Edge said they needed to stick together. He said they'd solve the problem his way. Chavo readily agreed, before Vicki reluctantly agreed. They left as we took a break. So much for not being like the Angle's...albeit without the real-life bats**t insanity... The conscious members of La Familia made their way to the ring, as Tazz noted Edge was looking all around for "you know who". Edge got a couple of chairs and slid them into the ring, giving one to Chavo. Edge also got himself a microphone to call out The Undertaker for taking out his family members. He demanded that Taker strike him down, or at least make the lights go out. But nothing. Edge told Chavo to help move Vicki into the corner. But as he put a chair on the mat for Chavo to pick up, he smacked Chavo in the back with his chair! As Vicki screamed, Edge set up Chavo and gave him a ConChairTo! Edge locked eyes with Vicki before pulling her into the middle of the ring to inspect his work. He then tipped her out of the wheelchair. He grabbed the mic again and got in her face before wondering if it was dawning on her that the person she needed to worry about wasn't Undertaker. He ripped into her for putting him in a Cell match with Undertaker. He said Mick Foley as right, that THIS was the Edge that needed to enter the Cell with Taker. If Taker wanted to take him down, he'd pull Taker down with him as well as the entire family. And more than anyone else, he'd take her down. Edge is TEH AWESOMENESS~!~!~! Edge made maniacal faces up in Guerrero's grill as the show ended... OVERALL - 8/10 (+/- 0 on last week) - This show did three things, in the main. It advanced the Cell match. It advanced the WWE Title match. It advanced the Hardy/MVP match. Put Simply, it advanced the three main matches for the second biggest PPV of the year on the Smackdown side, and it did each of them really well, at least in terms of how they were going in. HHH & Khali had no heat to it, but it does now, with HHH being rendered out of it and not being able to get the Pedigree. The Cell match is advanced because we now know that Edge is a f***ing nut. And MVP added heat to his feud with Hardy with a good promo and then the run-in after a really good match. And then beyond that, everything else was fine enough. Certainly nothing bad about it, in my view. Now, as it goes, I'm going to be calling the real-time on this weekend's TNA PPV. Joy... I'll see you then. Aaron Wood has spent his week going to see shows at the Edinburgh Festival, and each and every one of them so far has been a good one. He even ended up as something of a star in one of them when the comic (That Aaron knows personally) spotted him in the audience and made many references to the erstwhile Mr. Wood during the show. He has also been agonising about his November trip to Manchester for the RAW & Smackdown tapings, and whether or not to fulfil his dream of taking a trip to New York right afterwards. He reckons he has the money to do it, but quite how much he would have left of all the money he has in the world is another matter. He also, literally an hour or so before writing this, managed to get a US account working on the Playstation Network and thusly is downloading all sort of funky freebies in the form of demos that the European store doesn't have, for no apparent reason. When he's bored, and he gets bored easily, you can normally find him on the WWI Forums or playing "Wrestler" on Facebook with many of his WWI friends. Or he'll be playing one of his many PS3 games, which include Burnout Paradise, Unreal Tournament 3, Uncharted, Gran Turismo 5: Prologue and GRAND THEFT AUTO IV~!~!~!~!. You can find him with the username "aaron24wood", if you want to so battle with him. Aaron's mood today was...kicking it. Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on ClubWWI.com : Aaron
Aguliera Christian
Cage Jackie
Gayda Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Bruno
"Harvey Wippleman" Lauer Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Diamond
Dallas Page Harley
Race Sylvester
Terkay
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| All content contained here Copyright 2008 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
