 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Undertaker Doesn't Take What Vicki Offers...
By Aaron Wood
LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Scotty Goldman was far too "jewy" for our forums to handle (apparently...), Kozlov proved he doesn't just small men in the chest and the UK got royally boned...
THIS WEEK… We opened this week with a trailer-like review of what happened to the Smackdown guys at Summerslam. Doing things in the right way...but doing them in a bad way... After the credits, the show opened with Justin Roberts introducing Vicki Guerrero, who was on the TitanTron. She said that some of her recent decisions may not have been popular, but it wasn't the real her we were seeing, and it was all Edge. He corrupted her! He made her help him cheat! He changed the Vicki we all loved and made a woman of his own creation. But now she was FREE! Edge put her through hell, but now, Edge was the one in hell. BWAHAHAHAHAHA. however, that was the past and this was the future. There were two exciting things happening. First of all, there was the impending return of The Undertaker, and she wanted to see a standing ovation. The other thing was that Smackdown would also be having a Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. She talked through the rules, before noting that the qualifiers would be decided by matches tonight. Now. I don't if it was Edge love that clouded my judgement, but I thought that Vicki has been a pretty decent promo over the last few months, but this was pretty dreadful, it has to be said. I mean, notice how, normally, when I'm repeating what someone else has said, I usually end with a "...", only here, I've written "Edge was the one in hell. BWAHAHAHAHAHA." That's because she very awkwardly stopped talking (where she delivered the line really awkwardly), before she started cackling really awkwardly, before she stopped dead and then carried on with what she was saying. It was almost as if they went and edited in the cackling part, but it was clearly being done to the live crowd because we cut to shots of them watching her deliver this...thing. Really weird. Anyway, after she finally shut her yap, we saw JR & Tazz, who hyped up Undertaker's return and the Scramble matches. But more of that later because... Maria def. Natalya Neidhart by DQ in a "And Cherry was released because???" match Maria came out to the ring as we left for commercial break. When we came back, we saw a couple of Scramble qualifiers that we'd see. No point in me writing them here. You'll see me writing about them later. They traded holds to begin with as JR congratulated Maria on doing a "basic headlock". Nattie wrung an arm, but Maria reversed. He then hit a piss poor headscissors before putting a couple of kicks in. Neidhart gave Maria a Dragon-screw, whipping the leg before bodyslamming Maria so her leg hit the ring post. Natalya then wrenched at Maria's knee, looking for a tapout. Maria managed to kick her way out before giving Nattie a jawbreaker. Maria hit a couple of clotheslines before hitting the bronco buster in the corner. Maria then shoulder tackled Maria off the apron and went out for more when Maryse came out to the ring. She then launched an utterly piss poor attack on Maria to draw the DQ. As Maryse failed to do anything well in the ring, Michelle ran out to make the save. ---------- 5/10 - And I'm being generous. Maria has got most of the basics down. However, when she tries anything else, it looks horrible. Her headscissors, for example, wasn't so much a move, but a loose association of her legs and Nattie neck before Nattie did all the donkey work herself anyway. And then they PROTECT Maria for the finish and have the truly putrid Maryse run in??? I mean, Maryse's shots to Maria in the ring were awful enough, but she put the boot into Maria to cause the DQ, and I describe the move generously, because it was one of the worst STOMPS I've ever seen. ---------- Backstage, the Guerreros and Bam Neely were walking when they ran into Big Show. He wanted to know who his opponent was to qualify for the Scramble. Vicki said there had been an oversight and that he wasn't in any matches. Big Show pondered this for a few moments, but then said he understood. JR said that up next, there would be a 10 man Battle Royal... THE Brian Kendrick won a "Please pick your humours tag line... 1) Pinch yourselves... 2) Big Show is one dumb motherf***er 3) What a glamorous field...NOT!" 10-man Battle Royal to quality for the Championship Scramble And as if by magic, Big Show made his way to the ring. JR claimed he wasn't in the upcoming match, but Big Show certainly seemed to think so, given the size of the grin on his face. Big Show grabbed a chair and sat in front of the announce desk as we took a break. We came back to see the Grin Show. We saw some guys already in the ring. They were Scotty Goldman, Armando Estrada, Funaki, Super Crazy and Ryan Braddock! WHAT A LINE UP! THE Brian Kendrick then came out, followed by the Rated Rmy. Next out was Jimmy Wang Yang and the field was rounded out by Vladimir Kozlov. Everyone paired off to begin with. The Rmy began to work over Kozlov. Yang, Estrada and Braddock then joined in and herked him over the top rope to eliminate him. The Rmy then got rid of Goldman. Big Show stood up and got in the ring. He dumped out Braddock and then, at the SAME TIME, The Rmy & Super Crazy. He tossed Kendrick out of the ring. Armando was next to get dumped out by Show. Funaki soon joined him. Kendrick was tossed over the top, but Ezekiel caught him, making sure he was never touched the floor. Big Show then stepped over the top rope and left. However, Ezekiel put Kendrick back in the ring, and after the refs discussed the situation, Kendrick was announced as the winner! SPANKY HAS A TITLE SHOT!!! A WWE TITLE SHOT!!!!! ---------- 5/10 - Most of this is for the result and where I think the booking is going. You see, by the end of this show, Vicki isn't going to like the Undertaker quite so much. And now she's pissed off Big Show, who has managed to eliminate himself from the Title match (and you know he's going to complain and be unsuccessful at it), he'll be pissed off too, so I'm betting it'll be Taker vs. Show at the PPV... ---------- JR pimped the return of the Undertaker. What's this? His 3rd this year? His 3rd this quarter??? JR replayed the events of the previous match, before sending it to another R-Truth promo, noting that he'd be debuting next week. MVP def. Festus by Countout in a "He maybe be retarded...he maybe aggressive when the bell rings...but he has a heart..." match to qualify for the Championship Scramble As MVP came out, we cut to a post-Summerslam promo by MVP, talking to Eve, as Porter noted that he was entirely correct and that Hardy would beat himself before saying that he'd be going for the title. MVP ducked Festus's opening shot and got some rights of his own in, but after the ref broke them up, Festus took control. He gave Porter a suplex for a long 1 count. they had a short slugfest, which Festus won, before hitting an uppercut. Festus then whipped MVP off the ropes and hit a clothesline for a 2 count. Fallaway Slam by Festus. However, MVP kicked Festus's leg and sent him through the corner into the post shoulder first. MVP then began to work over the shoulder joint, with kicks and then an armbar. Festus looked like getting out, but MVP downed Festus again for a 2 count. He put another hold on with a reverse key lock. However, again, Festus got up and got out the hold with headbutts. MVP came back in the ring and hit some shots to the shoulder before hitting an armbar takedown for a deuce. Festus fought back with haymakers. He missed a corner charge though and MVP dropped a knee on the arm. Back to the reverse key lock. However, Festus got up and picked MVP into a fireman's carry and dropped MVP down, Samoan style. This time, Festus's charge hit MVP and then he followed with the shoulder tackle. Festus then hit the crotch splash. However, MVP then hit another armbar takedown, although as he went for the Drive By Kick, Festus countered with a Big Boot. Things spilled outside, where MVP had a piledriver countered. As the count hit 8, MVP gave a seated Jesse the Drive By Kick and dived back in the ring, leaving Festus to be counted out as he checked on his friend. MVP looked over Festus and gave him a running boot, sending him out of the ring. ---------- 7/10 - Interesting little match with Festus getting some good heat on MVP, before MVP took control in a believable way (which should be noted, given Festus's gimmick), and it was a fairly clever finish in my opinion, and paid off Jesse being told to sit, rather than stand at ringside. ---------- JR hyped the next match before we hit a break. Shelton Benjamin def. Finlay in a "Is this Mike Knox's debut on Smackdown???" match to qualify for the Championship Scramble We came back to see the US Champion come out. He got himself a microphone to get something off his chest. To be called the Gold Standard means you were obsessed with winning and gold, but if you turn on the TV or read the papers, you'd see Michael Phelps being called the "Gold Standard", but there could only be one, and that was him. Wow, how incredibly bland... Finlay & Hornswaggle made their way out to the ring and gave away their hats and toy shillelaghs. Lock up went nowhere before Finlay took control, ripping at Benjamin's face. However Shelton made it into the corner. Finlay grabbed a side headlock, although Shelton got a 2 count after rolling Finlay on his back. Finlay got a takedown, but Benjamin slid back into the corner. Things descended into a fight, with things spilling out of the ring. Both men, quite greatly, eyeballed each other as they slid back into the ring. Finlay picked a leg and went to work on it, and the ankle in particular. Benjamin tried elbowing Finlay in the face to get out of it, but it didn't work, and Finlay just changed to an STF-like move. Benjamin made the ropes, but Finlay broke it at 4. However, with Shelton in the corner, Finlay charged, but missed, hitting the shoulder off the ring post. Shelton took aim at the shoulder joint, with kicks and stomps. Benjamin then put on a rear naked choke with a bodyscissors. The hold was broken, but Benjamin kicked Finlay in the back of the head. Benjamin stomped Finlay out of the ring, but as he went for a baseball slide, Finlay caught him up in the ring apron and put the fists to Benjamin. Back in the ring, Benjamin got Finlay on the top, but Finlay shoved him off. However, Benjamin shoved right back, knocking Finlay off the top to the floor, landing in a nasty looking way as we took a break. We came back with Finlay in a Shelton neck vice, as we saw a replay of the fall that sent us to break. Finlay fought his way out the hold, but Benjamin kicked and then punched at Finlay's head. Finlay countered Benjamin's next move with a jawbreaker for a 2 count. Benjamin hit a clothesline for another 2 count before putting the neck vice back on again. He shoved Benjamin off into the ropes, but again, Benjamin was able to recover faster as he stayed on top of Finlay. Benjamin looked to hit a reverse neckbreaker, but instead of going down, he held onto the neck, looking for the submission. Benjamin ended up twisted around, and Finlay was able to get the ropes. Finlay then scored a backslide for 2, but the Dragon Whip connected for Shelton's 2 count. Finlay blocked a corner charge, but ran into an overhead throw by Benjamin for a long 1 count. Finlay blocked Paydirt and hit clothesline before the Earthquake splash for a 2 count. Finlay went for the Celtic Cross, but we saw Mike Knox going after Hornswaggle. While the little guy got away, it distracted Finlay long enough for Benjamin to hit Paydirt and get the title shot. ---------- 8/10 - Really good match, telling a good story. There's not much more to say. ---------- After the match, Knox saw his chance and hit Finlay with a Big Boot and a diving knee drop, before hitting mounted punches. JR again pimped the return of Taker before we went to pay the bills. JR and Tazz talked about Summerslam, and in particular, the HBK/Jericho angle. THAT is how awesome this angle was. They are replaying it on a show where neither man appears! Sure, looking at the clock right now, and knowing what's left, maybe they need to fill time, but sure as s**t, this deserves it. We cut backstage to the Guerreros. Chavo said it would have been cool if he was in a qualifier... Everyone went silent, before they got to wondering why Undertaker hadn't shown up yet. Chavo wondered if he might be holding a grudge and if Taker knew that it was all of Edge's doing. They decided to give undertaker an apology. HHH made his way out to take in the next, and final, Scramble qualifying match. Jeff Hardy def. The Great Khali in a "Who says that HHH doesn't get to choose who he faces?" match to qualify for the Championship Scramble we came back to hear HHH launch his career as a comedian with a terrible joke about people hearing Khali fall at Summerslam before Khali made his way to the ring along with Runjin Singh. A little side note. I went to see Get Smart in preview on Wednesday and to be absolutely honest with you, I thought that The Great Khali was freaking AWESOME! If you see it, watch when he escapes the burning building. One of the funniest moments in the movie. Indeed, it was such a good film overall, I might do something I RARELY do (and when I say "rare", I don't remember doing this ever) and go back again to see it once again. Anyway, I digress. Hardy and Khali stared each other down. Hardy used his quickness to elude Khali in the opening, hitting a right hand before ducking out the ring. Hardy kicked at the leg, but Khali downed Hardy with a clothesline. Khali stomped on Hardy in the corner. JR said that Vicki Guerrero was preparing an apology for undertaker tonight. Khali continued to work over Jeffrey in the corner. Khali hit a short clothesline and readied for...a NERVE HOLD! Hardy got back to his feet, but was met with the overhand chop. Bodyslam by Khali. Khali readied for the Khali Bomb, but Hardy got out of it. He went to the second rope, but Khali chopped him off, sending Jeff to the floor. Hardy dropped Khali on the top rope and then hit the Twist Of Fate! Hardy went up top, but Runjin Singh distracted Hardy long enough for Khali to block it. HHH pulled Singh off the apron, distracting Khali. HHH then smacked Khali with the chair and Hardy hit the Whisper In The Wind and Swanton Bomb for the three count! ---------- 6/10 - OK match between these two with a logical finish, in my opinion, since Hardy is that bit smaller than many and his aerial offence isn't as hard hitting as others, so giving him that bit of help via HHH's chairshot worked for me. ---------- We saw the graphic for the WWE Title match at the PPV. Me thinks HHH is holding onto the belt... Doesn't Kenny at all remember what happened last time? We found HHH still in the ring, where he brought up the Championship Scramble. Himself, MVP, Shelton Benjamin, Brian Kendrick...THE Brian Kendrick and Jeff Hardy, and the trick was that they could beat each other to become champion and the last guy to get a fall in the 20 minutes doesn't mean the odds are good for him to hold onto the title. But before any of them start celebrating too early, the fifth guy in the ring would be a 12 time champion and has been in every match the WWE has come up with and come out on top. And he's known as The Game. The King Of Kings, even! And then Kenny Dykstra made his way out to the ring. Kenny wondered why he wasn't considered for the Scramble and that he was fed up with not being taken seriously... Pedigree. HHH said it was good to see Kenny before leaving. Backstage, Hawkins & Ryder came into the GM's office to tell her that Undertaker was here. She told them they'd make their apology together. Well, she was kinda asking for it... We came back from break to see La Familia in the ring. Vicki read her prepared statement. She said she was a great woman, who wasn't afraid to apologise and admit when she was wrong. She said she was there to apologise to The Undertaker. She asked that Undertaker be given a standing ovation, where she even got on her feet and introduced Undertaker. Undertaker came out to absolutely no reaction at all. JUST KIDDING! The pop was pretty damn sizeable. The gang backed up and let Undertaker do his thing in the ring, although The Deadman never took his eyes off them, in a way to suggest which one he was going to cannibalise first. Vicki said that she delivered Edge to him and gave him a means for his revenge, and asked if he'd accept her apology. She said if he needed more time, they could talk about it next week. She even got out of her chair and on her knees and begged, right in front of Undertaker's crotch (or as Canadian Bulldog would call it "The position I get in when I make my money..."). Undertaker took the mic and told Vicki to look at her. He said he didn't come for an apology. He came for her soul. La Familia decided that attack was the better part of valour and circled the wagons. However, it worked about as well as you'd have figured. Even when the four of them finally got the jump on Undertaker and Chavo got himself a chair, Taker fought back and sent them all packing. He gave the Rmy chokeslams each before turning to see Vicki had escaped to the top of the entrance. Taker slashed his throat as Vicki looked on and the show ended. OVERALL - 7/10 (+ 0.5 on last week) - A very decent and watchable show this week with a couple of good matches. In fact, everything beyond the first half hour was pretty good, all in all. The first couple of segments though? Pretty wretched. Aaron Wood is writing this bit a little early so he can go and see John Robins vs. Carl Donnelly vs. Predator. It's not a wrestling match or anything, but a comedy show at the Edinburgh Fringe. He's friends with the acts. Including Predator, so Canadian Bitchtits...watch out. And now that he’s done Smackdown for another week, he’s about to sit down and watch one of his favourite films, “Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood”…How did the Wayans’ get SO bad??? When he's bored, and he gets bored easily, you can normally find him on the WWI Forums or playing "Wrestler" on Facebook with many of his WWI friends. Or he'll be playing one of his many PS3 games, which include Burnout Paradise, Unreal Tournament 3, Uncharted, Gran Turismo 5: Prologue and GRAND THEFT AUTO IV~!~!~!~!. HE ALSO NOW HAS MADDEN 09 AND IS LOOKING FORWARD TO TIGER WOODS AND TNA IMPACT. YES. TNA IMPACT! You can find him with the username "aaron24wood", if you want to so battle with him. Aaron's mood today was...comical. Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on ClubWWI.com : Aaron
Aguliera Christian
Cage Jackie
Gayda Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Bruno
"Harvey Wippleman" Lauer Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Diamond
Dallas Page Harley
Race Sylvester
Terkay
Need More Insanity? Join The Club
|
| All content contained here Copyright 2008 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
