From WorldWrestlingInsanity.com
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: The Undertaker Undertakes The Undertaking Of His Smackdown Return
By Aaron Wood
Aug 27, 2010 - 4:49 PM
Welcome,
my Gathering. Hope this finds you all well. Not been too great
myself these last few days. Frankly, I've had rather a dicky
stomach. But enough about that. I just wanted to make mention of
this week's video selection, which is based on the nominees for this
year's big comedy award here in Edinburgh for the Festival, this year
sponsored by the piss-water manufacturers that call themselves
Fosters. As it goes, I actually saw a comedy show centred around
wrestling last night;. It was pretty good and a lot of fun. Will be
doing a review of that over the weekend. Also, you may notice a
couple of format changes in the next couple of weeks. Just playing
around with idea to freshen things up.
LAST
WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Tony Chimel got usurped, Hornswaggle
planted himself back on the show, Kane told a different story from
the one EVERYONE ELSE on the planet remembers, Striker thought
calling Todd "Todd" was strange, and Alberto Del Rio got a
golden shower...
THIS
WEEK…
The
legend that is Todd Grisham started us off by mentioning a Summerslam
rematch between Mysterio & Kane. Rather apropos of nothing,
based on last week's show, huh? Especially since it didn't seem to
be a title match, and Rey asked for it. And also, it's a No Dq
match. They didn't, however, mention the rematch of the rematch of
the Summerslam match which in itself was a rematch of a title match
which as it goes was a rematch of of a match to get the title shot in
the first place, that of course being Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston
going at it again. And unlike the No DQ stip of Rey & Kane, if
Ziggler is DQ'ed, he loses the title. Also, some old guy comes back
to Smackdown.
Kane
def. Rey Mysterio in a "You'd think he'd take a week off if his
arm still hurt..." No DQ Match
Rey
came out selling his arm from last week, doing his best not to move
it, even using his wrong arm to point to the crowd and slap hands
with fans. Rey went for the legs, but was quickly tossed outside and
dropped on the guardrail. Kane grabbed himself a kendo stick, but
Rey caught him coming back in and used the stick himself with a
couple of shots before running into a big boot. Kane worked a
European headlock, but Rey fought out. However, Kane cut off a
springboard attempt, with another boot down to the floor. Kane
dropped Kane onto the ringpost, before jumping off the announce desk
with a seated senton as we hit the ads.
Kane
smacked Rey with an uppercut as we returned. Mysterio got out but
was hit with a side slam for 2. Striker stuck with the new story of
Undertaker costing Kane his mask, as he grabbed a chair, but Rey
avoided a chairshot and made a comeback that saw Kane set for the
619. Kane countered that, but Rey escaped his grasp before hitting
chairshots to the back and legs, putting Kane in 619 position again.
Rey springboarded in, but he jumped right into chokeslam position,
onto the chair, for the Big Red Notch In The Win Column. Fun opener,
certainly helped with the weaponry.
We
saw Rey being helped when Alberto Del Rio came out unannounced just
like last week. He said he wanted to see how Rey was doing, noting
that he looked like a dying dog and someone needed to put him down.
JBDel Rio attacked Rey and ran him into the barricade before locking
on the Cross Armbreaker. Del Rio made like he was about to leave,
but then had an idea. He sauntered back into the ring and grabbed
the chair that was handy. He grabbed Rey from the medics again and
wrapped the arm into the chair before running it into the ring post.
Alberto then gloated before walking away like a total douche.
CM
Punk def. JTG in a "Do my eyes deceive me???" match
Punk
came out with the whole SES. Yes, including Serena. It doesn't mean
she's not gone. Just means that wwe.com managed to do something
right this month and not screw something up by saying she was fired
and then having her on TV. JTG went for an immediate roll up, but
got nowhere, and Punk was very soon in control. Punk hooked JTG and
hit the downward elbows to the shoulder and chest (I suppose they are
now the Daniel Bryan elbows...). High knee and bulldog by Punk.
Punk made the pledge signal. He hit the GTS. However, this was NOT
all, as Punk, for the first time in FOREVER, locked on the Anaconda
Vice for the submission win, as the announcers suggested that this
was Punk's way to beat Big Show, since the GTS was rather unlikely.
Squash match to get the Vice over again, I suppose.
Punk
got his crew in the ring and on their knees to berate them saying
that that was how you treated the weak and spread his message. He
said the example had been set and wanted Gallows to follow later by
beating Big Show. Punk said it was the last time he was going to
tell them. Be better or be gone. Good thing he said that right as
they fired one of them..
We
cut backstage to Teddy Long and Rosa who was using one of those
shaking weights that you see on infomercials that looks like the
woman working it is jacking a guy off. Long said she was looking
good before she left. He sat down to read WWE Magazine when we saw a
suspicious plant in the background. It moved. Teddy realised
something but shrugged it off. The plant moved again, and again Long
felt something happening, but didn't put 2 and 2 together. However,
it moved again, and yes, Hornswaggle revealed himself. Long asked
who the little bastard had been spying on, leading to the pair acting
out a game of charades (including a blowjob joke) as Horny acted out
"LayCool". He tried to communicate what they had been
saying, but unfortunately, Thaddeus didn't take leprachaunese in high
school so didn't understand a damn thing. Even a pictoral
representation didn't work. However, Long could see some potential
in having a midget dressed as a pot plant and had an idea of how they
could work together. Hornswaggle started thuggin n' buggin before
they did a fist bump, which FOX News will likely interpret as some
sort of terrorist signal. Well, they did with the Obama's one didn't
they? I love Hornswaggle. For me, he's funnier than Santino
Marella.
An
early RAW Rebound saw the set up for the Six-Pack Challenge.
Back
from break, we saw how Ziggler & Kingston ended last week before
sending it to Cody Rhodes' manscaping tip for the week. This week it
was shaving the entire body. Watched the Warehouse 13 episode with
him in it. I thought he did pretty well for himself. And somewhat
refreshing that the stunt casting didn't just equal Cody being the
bad guy of the week.
Kofi
Kingston def. Dolph Ziggler by Countout in a "Here we go
again..." match where the title would change hands on a
DQ
Kofi's
kicks sent Ziggler out early, but Kingston stayed on him. Ziggler
avoided the Trouble In Paradise by holding onto the ropes, only to
run into the SOS for a 2 count as Ziggler grabbed the bottom rope.
Ziggler rolled out of the way of something of a Boom Drop off the top
rope as we came back from break. Ziggler booted Kingston out of the
corner for a 2 count. Dolph hit the leaping elbow drop to the back
of the neck for another 2 count.
Kofi
broke out of a chinlock, but Ziggler avoided the Trouble In Paradise
by holding onto the ropes, only to run into the SOS for a 2 count as
Ziggler grabbed the bottom rope. No, I didn't make a mistake there.
THEY DID THE SAME SPOTS TWICE IN THE SAME ORDER. Only difference was
that this time they were on the side closest to the hard camera.
This time, they played it with the ref doing the three count only to
then notice Dolph had the rope and rule out the win. I know you
should really repeat a spot immediately afterwards to flag up how bad
it was botched, but so far later makes me wonder if they didn't just
lay out the match with the same sequence in it by accident.
Anyway,
Dolph avoided a corner charge with Kofi's shoulder hitting the
ringpost. Mr. Ziggles with the rolling necksnap for another 2 count.
Neckbreaker scored another 2 for the champion. Dolph worked an
arm lock, but Kofi fought out of it, only to turn into the sleeper.
However, Kofi was too near the ropes and it was an easy grab. As the
ref pulled Ziggler back, Vickie slapped Kofi, which went unnoticed by
the ref, but not by Ziggler who told her not to ruin things. A knee
to Kingston picked up another 2 count. Dolph began pounding on Kofi
before hitting the leaping elbow again for a 2.
Kingston
fought out a chinlock and began to made a comeback with his double
chops. Ziggler caught his leg and catapulted him into the corner,
but Kofi caught himself and jumped out which a Superman punch for a 2
count. Ziggler charged the corner, but met the pendulum kick before
Kofi hit a crossbody off the top rope. Kingston looked for the SOS,
but Ziggler counted with a fireman's carry takeover for a near fall.
Kingston blocked the ZigZag and then dropkicked Ziggler out the ring.
Vickie stood in Kingston way, so he just elected to jump over her
(although really, it was to the side) onto Ziggler. They both made
to crawl back into the ring. However, as Kofi got in at nine, Vickie
pulled Ziggler off the apron to stop him getting back in and take the
countout loss, knowing this meant he was still champion. And yes,
another fuck finish. And very, very likely, another God damn
rematch.
Ziggler
ran away through the stands afterwards, followed close behind by
Kingston, annoyed he was screwed again. Followed by a couple of fans
hoping for an autograph.
We
came back to a recap of Kane's explanation of his attack on The
Undertaker last week.
So,
in terms of competitions that aren't actual wrestling matches...
Swagger > MVP > Everyone > Matt Hardy
The
"Jack Swagger Sr. Invitational" turned out to be a amateur
contest to see who could score the most takedowns. First to five
would win. Swagger put on head gear, but MVP elected not to,
throwing his away. Swagger stalled a little, practising shoots. MVP
slapped Swagger before the bell rang. Swagger sprawled an MVP shoot
in for a point. Swagger went 2 up with a lovely leg whip after
having his own leg caught. Swagger picked up another with a double
leg into a slam down. Swagger locked in a facelock, before doing a
gator roll. However, this just pissed off MVP, who threw a punch and
got himself DQ'ed. MVP went to leave, but Swagger attacked in the
aisle and locked on the ankle lock. MVP tapped out, but Swagger held
it on for a little while before finally breaking. This meant, of
course, that Jack Swagger was going to be hosting an edition of the
VIP Lounge.
Backstage,
LayCool were getting pictures taken with their comedy belt, as Kaval
stood by their side. They started talking about Melina and their
plan for her on the 900th RAW on Monday. They mocked Melina's
Summerslam outfit. They went to talk about their plan, and Kaval got
rid of the photography team before Michelle whispered it in Layla's
ear as we left them.
Apropos
of not very much, the announcers recapped what happened last week
with Drew McIntyre & Cody Rhodes beating down Christian &
Matt Hardy after Drew lost to Captain Charisma. Striker seemed to
coin them "Dashingly Sinister". They did use this as a
segueway into the the next match.
Alberto
Del Rio def. Carlos Sanchez in a "I suppose I can't do the
Spanglish on Spanglish violence joke twice in two weeks..."
match
*RIC
THE ROD* was introduced so he could introduce Alberto Del Rio, who
drove out in a Jaguar. As it turned out, the jobber got his very own
entrance, and was approved of by the crowd, although the "From
Fresno, California" thing probably had a lot to do with that.
Del Rio mauled his opponent to start in the corner before hitting a
short clothesline. A German suplex led to a chinlock, that Sanchez
managed to fight out of, bringing the crowd into the match. He then
avoided Alberto's corner charge. Juan Bradshaw Layfield picked up
Sanchez and sat him in the middle of the top rope, gave a cheeky wink
and then shoved him over the top to the floor. He was rolled back in
and easy prey for the Cross Armbreaker. Good squash to get Del Rio
working on TV. At least he's in an angle already with Rey, rather
than just doing these for the hell of it.
Kelly
Kelly & Big Show Big Show were shown walking backstage.
Big
Show def. Luke Gallows in a "See, this is why they haven't yet
confirmed Serena's release..." match
And
indeed, we returned to see Big Show come out with Kelly Kelly. He
lifted her right onto the apron. Gallows came out with Joey Mercury,
who was firing him up, and Serena, who took her sweet time. Big Show
decided to work with his t-shirt on, but still this didn't stop him
from dominating early. We saw CM Punk shaking his head backstage.
Show slapped Gallows in the chest before tossing him out. he hit
another slap to the chest on the announce desk. Kelly Kelly gave
Serena a Thesz Press. However, Gallows hit some elbows as Big Show
came back into the ring. However, Big Show stayed in control and hit
the KO Punch for the win. Man, you'd think that Gallows was the one
being fired with a beating like that. That said, given that this
seems to be leading to Show vs. Punk, wouldn't make a bunch of sense
to have a minion beat Show.
Aah...
Sibling Rivalry...
Taker
made his return to Smackdown. Nothing overly spectacular. Just the
usual lighting, smoke and pyro. He paused for a while before
speaking. Indeed, he even coughed a little, suggesting he still
wasn't 100%. He said that while he may look dead, he wasn't dead
yet. but he was still The Deadman and it was still his yard. He
said he needed to make it clear that he wouldn't ever pardon the
guilty, speaking of which, Kane. He was guilty of a treacherous
betrayal, one he would pay dearly for. He had what Taker called a
diseased soul, and it had festered and turned into a web of lies,
lies he thinks he can fulfil Taker's boots and the biggest lie of
them all is that he thinks he can carry his holy grail, the World
Title.
Kane
came out at this point, but stayed on the ramp, offering the odd
mixture of black light on the ring and red on the stage. Kane said
that the only one who was lying was Taker. The weakness in his voice
and in his eyes. Kane was the diseased one? The delusional one?
Take a look in the mirror, bruv! He wasn't just a shadow of what he
was before and Kane wouldn't have any problem crushing him with his
boot and dropping him on his head, like at Summerslam. Taker was
living in a fantasy. Kane was bigger and stronger and was now the
dominant brother and had nothing left to prove.
Undertaker
said that there was a reason why Kane walked in his shadow. Last
week, Kane called himself the Devil's favourite demon. Did Kane
forget that the house the devil lives in was built by Taker, brick by
flaming brick? And when he called round, the devil still calls Taker
"Sir". Kane was never been worthy and never will be of
carrying the title. Kane wouldn't worthy of the power he stole
through fear and was finally unworthy of being Taker's brother.
Taker told Kane he taught him everything Kane knew about evil, but he
didn't teach Kane everything that he knew. And when the fighting
began, it would always end the same way.
Not
according to Kane, however. Kane said he knew that they both knew
that this time, it would end the same way it did at Summerslam with
Taker sprawled at Kane's feet. He vowed on the grave of their mother
that Taker would never rest in peace (to which he dropped his voice
to do a mocking impersonation of Taker). Kane cackled as the show
ended.
OVERALL
- Enjoyable show this week. the final segment was standard fare, but
that's not necessarily a bad thing. Alberto Del Rio continued to
impress me. he certainly has the character and mannerisms down pat.
And his in-ring is largely fine. And while we had something like the
6th Ziggler/Kingston match in 7 weeks, it was still good until the
end. That said, and as I've said for the last few times, I hope the
next match has a stip where there has to be a winner. And there was
the interesting storyline with Punk busting out the Anaconda Vice as
a way of beating Big Show, only to have Show kill Luke Gallows. It
had a flow to it, and at the end of a taping schedule that involved
the creative team writing around 15 hours of TV for three days of
tapings, then this was, in that regard, a fine show.
You
can contact Aaron via his
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Facebook or the
WWI
Fan Page. All he asks is that if you do "friend"
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Or
if you are on Twitter, Aaron can be reached at
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twitter.com/clubwwi.
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