 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: The Maddening Of Vicki Guerrero-Edge...
By Aaron Wood
LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Four people lucked into a title shot, A strange mountain man went after Hornswaggle and Undertaker declared how much he wanted Vicki...
THIS WEEK… An Undertaker promo?!?!?! We started out "cold" with a wide shot of the arena, and things soon got even colder as the bell tolled and Undertaker made his way to the ring, and he was not in a fighting mood. He's down for some spiel! I can't remember the last time we had a Undertaker promo segment, let alone one that opened the show... We saw La Familia in the GM's office watching on TV. Taker said that Vicki asked for forgiveness, but The Deadman just wasn't the forgiving type. Can't say I disagree... Anyway, he said he was coming for Vicki and in particular, her soul, and when he does that, she would burn in hell. To emphasise this point, in a very cool visual, he called up the power to set the ringposts on fire. We cut back to the office and see Chavo and Bam crapped their pants and backed out the door. Hawkins & Ryder saw this, thought it was a damn fine idea and snuck off too. Vicki then realised that the others had f***ed off and went for the door too, only to find that she'd been locked in! She pounded on the door in the hope it would open, but alas, it was to no avail as Mrs. Guerrero-Edge was set for the night. JR pimped that Jeff hardy & MVP would have a Summerslam rematch and that we'd see Champion vs. Champion in HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin. R-Truth def. Kenny Dykstra in a "Just asking for TNA chants now, aren't you Vince?" match We came back from break to a replay of the last of the R-Truth vignettes before the man himself was introduced. And it was like K-Kwik never went away... But what's this? His TNA entrance theme (or at least a version that's 99.8% identical)! Kenny Dykstra then came out, and again he was getting promo time. But this time, he wasn't getting Pedigreed half way through. As he made his way to the ring, he said that he had tried to get the company to care about him, but it hadn't worked. He was a 22 year old prospect, but Truth was a convict. Kenny didn't get vignettes or interview time. He could barely get on Smackdown! And hey, he's never been to jail. But maybe he should have??? Then they could build the company around him. And that was The Truth... The bell rang and Truth started off hot as he got a quick roll up off a hiptoss, but Kenny came back with a clothesline to take control. hard whip into the corner and knee drop scored 2 before Dykstra worked over Truth's back with a couple of surfboards. Truth backed Kenny into the corner to break the hold before hitting a couple of clothesline and then a spinning back elbow. An Axe kick ended things fairly speedily. ---------- 6/10 - Decent enough debut. According to the WON, Vince wanted him to debut in a stronger showing, but somehow the agent, whoever it was, put together a more standard match. But hey, if Vince wanted Truth to look better, it might just mean his second tenure will be far better than his first. ---------- We cut backstage as some guy was taking photos of Michelle and her butterfly belt when Maryse interrupted. Maryse said that Michelle had better enjoy her Divas Champion photo shoots while she could. Michelle reckoned that while Maryse was a Diva, but not a Diva's Champion, since she didn't have one vital element. Talent. Who knew that Michelle could cut a shoot promo? Natalya & Maryse def. Michelle McCool & Maria in a "Why in the lord of f**k are they setting that useless bint up as the next challenger???" match Natalya and Michelle started things off, with Nattie grabbing a side headlock out of a lock up. However, Michelle got out and blocked a hiptoss, hitting a Side Russian Leg Sweep. Maria was tagged in, and scored a quick inside cradle, although it didn't even score a 1 count. However, Natalya missed a leg drop. Back in the heel corner, Maryse tagged in. They kicked at each other, before Maryse slammed Maria down by the hair. Maria came back, but was distracted by Nattie. Maria punched Nattie from the apron, but turned into a DDT from Maryse for the pin. ---------- 5.5/10 - I'll give the devil her due and say that Maryse was OK in this match, but hey, it was quick and even then, she wasn't in for long and had two things to do. That said, Michelle vs. Maryse one on one? I shudder... ---------- As Michelle checked on Maria, Maryse attacked and the two got into a slugfest. However, Natalya helped her fellow Canuck out and they downed Michelle on the outside. We cut to JR & Tazz, who sent it to a recap of how the Hardy/MVP feud came about and the events leading to this match. Afterwards, we cut backstage to Eve, who was with Jeff hardy, who said that MVP was nothing more than an obstacle in his way to the WWE Title and tonight, he'd be left laying with only his ego and attitude. We came back from break to see the graphic explaining the Scramble match rules. We then saw Vicki was still in her office, and it was apparently only now that she decided to seek help, as she picked up her phone. Problem was, the line was dead. She ripped the phone out the wall and threw it at the wall. Not going to try shouting then Vicki? Not got a cell phone anywhere? Not even going to ask the cameraman (who apparently has the shakes, since he can't hold the camera still making it look as though all this is taking place during an earthquake) for help? Jeff Hardy def. MVP in a "Well there goes my booking idea..." match The opening part of the match saw MVP looking for Hardy to make a mistake while Jeff stayed calm and composed, thus not giving Montel such an opening. We started with a shoving match, which Hardy won after tripping Porter. Jeff grabbed a side headlock, but MVP got out and sent Hardy to the outside, although Hardy landed on his feet and got back in on offence. MVP took a powder, but when he got back in, he fell victim to a few armdrags, before putting on an armbar. Hardy let MVP up, with Porter running to the ropes, looking to lure Hardy in for a cheapshot. Across the ring, MVP got a leg trip, but Hardy sent MVP into the ringpost. MVP bailed out again. Hardy looked like he was going for a pescado, but he saw MVP move, thus electing to hit a somersault senton as we took a break. We came back with Hardy still in control of the arm. However, MVP pulled Hardy, face first, into the middle turnbuckle. MVP dropped Hardy on to the middle of the top rope before kicking Hardy in the head. On the outside, Jeff was dropped on the guardrail. Back in, MVP scored a 2 count. A knee drop saw another deuce before Montel put on a seated abdominal stretch. They stood up and Hardy countered out of it with a sideslam-like move. Hardy hit the mule kick and then the rolling dropkick in the corner. Hardy hit the sitout front suplex before going up, but the Swanton met knees. MVP then hit a baseball slide, sending Hardy into the ringpost back-first. He stretched Hardy around the post before scoring another nearfall. MVP placed Hardy on the top turnbuckle, and MVP punted Jeff's back for a 2 count. Hardy was put in a camel clutch, but he made the ropes. Bodyslam and knee drop scored yet another 2 count for Hardy. Surfboard on Hardy was quickly gotten out of, but Porter hit a back suplex for yet another 2, drawing MVP's ire. Hardy got some shots in, but MVP hit an overhead throw for a nearfall. The pair began to slug it out. Hardy looked for the Whisper In The Wind, but MVP caught the leg and in an ugly landing, Hardy looked as if he landed right on the back of his neck. Hardy kicked out at 2. MVP put Hardy up and top and looked for a back suplex, but Hardy (almost) turned in mid-air and scored a 2 count off the counter. Hardy began to build momentum with a flying clothesline before hitting a couple more of them. He then hit the Whisper In The Wind and then the Swanton Bomb for the three count! ---------- 8/10 - A really good match that told a great story with MVP looking for Hardy to make a mistake in the early going, but Hardy psyching him out every time until the tide turned when it became about how Hardy kept kicking out. That said, I still liked my idea of having Hardy finally get a win over MVP at Cyber Sunday after MVP pinned Hardy in the Scramble match. Then again, a three way-feud with Hardy, MVP & Benjamin? I can dig... ---------- Shelton Benjamin rushed in as Hardy celebrated and hit Pay Dirt. MVP got on his feet and acted like he and Benjamin were cool, but Benjamin then hit Pay Dirt on MVP, as JR reminded us of the Drive By MVP accidentally gave him a couple of weeks ago. We came back from break to see some Pittsburgh Steelers having a pretend pier-sixer at ringside. As a note, Big Ben Roethlisberger better have a good season. Nay, a GREAT one, cause the dude's on my WWI Fantasy League team! JR then talked about how the WWE was at the Democratic National Convention, although we never saw any footage of that. I assume it's for American eyes only, but unlike Edge pretending to be the second coming of Heath Ledger with some mild mental abuse of Vicki, this is one thing I don't mind not seeing. That said, I wouldn't mind seeing Barack winning the election... Also, apparently, Batista, Shelton Benjamin and Candice Michelle were at the Democratic bash this week, while HBK, Ken Kennedy & Mickie will be present at the Republican's shindig. Goddamnit. If only it was the other way around. Everyone could use more reasons to dislike Batista... Hawkins & Ryder vs. Jesse & Festus went to a No Contest in a "Hawkins & Ryder not getting beaten up in any given week is the oversight there, Big Show..." match instead, we cut to Jesse & Festus's entrance, and AWESOMELY, there was a sign in the crowd that was a homage to that painting of Andre, but this time it was Festus. If only I could get a screencap of it... Oh wait...I DID!  Ryder & Hawkins came out next and JR claimed they were the youngest tag team ever in the WWE as they were each 23. Given that Rene Dupree was 19 in La Resistance, I wonder how old Sylvan Grenier was. The babyfaces started off hot, sending the champions form the ring when Big Show's music hit. Festus was low bridged out as Big Show hit the ring. Big Show chopped one of the champs, chokeslammed the other and then punched Jesse out. ---------- 1/10 - Never got going. That said, if I'm right I can understand where they're going with the Big Show thing. As I suggested, Vicki should be all "You want a match Big Show, then face Undertaker" in an attempt to kill two birds with one booking. However, it's being rumoured that an idea right now is that Vicki will give Undertaker an immediate title shot after the Smackdown Scramble match in an attempt to placate him. BAD move, in my opinion, especially since we have to assume HHH is going to win his Scramble, because those two shouldn't meet until Mania. And if it were to be booked and anyone but HHH won, then how bad would they look when all was said and done, since you would have to assume that Undertaker would win. ---------- Big Show said "Hi"...literally. He said that there would seem to be some confusion and the GM was under such pressure, she was overlooking certain people. But he wanted Vicki to listen to him. He would NEVER be overlooked again. And as far his little display, that was his bad. Let's call it an oversight... Well, let's not. Because that's not what an oversight is. If he had forgotten to beat them up, THAT would have been an oversight. It's kinda like that Alanis Morrisette song "Ironic", which in no way mentions anything ironic. Which in itself is ironic. We cut backstage to Vicki Guerrero who was stood stock-still doing nothing. Brie Bella def. Victoria in a "You do realise you've named them her after a cheese, don't you?" match Victoria came out and then out came a newcomer Brie Bella. You know, like the cheese. Goes well with bacon and cranberry. Victoria took control of the match, but Bella athletically got out of holds before hitting a couple of flying snapmares, although a Victoria backbreaker scored a 2 count. Snap suplex by Victoria was followed by the standing moonsault for a 2 count. Bella was kicked from the ring, and she crawled under the ring. However, Victoria pulled her back out. Back in the ring though, Bella caught Victoria with an inside cradle for the three count! ---------- 5/10 - If you aren't aware, there are a pair of identical twins in developmental, and you saw both of them. However, unlike, say, The Rated Rmy, they are legit twins and not just coincidental look-alikes. Interesting that they are doing the switcheroo gimmick with babyfaces. I can't remember if I've ever seen that before. That said, there wasn't much here to judge whichever Brie we got first on. She had some nice athletic escapes and the flying snapmares were cool, but that was about it for this showing. Give her time though. And hey, at least she got it better than Colt Cabana and Shawn Spears... ---------- The RAW Rebound focused on the announcement of John Cena's injured neck. We saw some of Cena's injury footage tacked on at the end, with comments from the doctor. We jumped back to RAW and the announcement of Rey Mysterio as the replacement. Apparently though, he'll be barely ready to go as well. Plus it kinda puts the curveball on the whole "Is he alive or is he dead?" thing... The Art Of...Trying to get yourself over as a threat even though everyone knows you have no chance in hell... We came back from break to see THE Brian Kendrick reading a book and Ezekiel in the background reading a magazine. Kendrick said that last week he won a title shot and this week, everyone else in the match were going out to "establish dominance" but running the risk of injury. However, he was studying. And specifically, he was studying "The Art Of War". Because it wasn't about the first pin or the most pin, but the last pin. And he'd be the guy who'd have that. JR & Tazz went over the current Unforgiven card. HHH def. Shelton Benjamin in a "I think Shelton is still ahead in the head to head..." match And speaking of the Smackdown "Scramble" match... HHH made his way out first before we took a break. We came back to a pre-taped promo from Shelton, saying that the most precious commodity was gold and that made him the most precious commodity in the WWE as he was the Gold Standard. Don't ask me why they saw fit to add this in. He said nothing new... Shelton started off well with a few armdrags, before putting on an armbar. Popular spot tonight... HHH got out, but Benjamin armdragged him again. However, HHH punched his way out the armbar. They traded blows in the corner, but HHH got the advantage and began to work over Benjamin's arm. Benjamin kicked at HHH's legs, but Hunter came back and put in another armbar, sitting on top of Benjamin, before settling into a more standard position, allowing him to drive knees into the joint. Benjamin got out, but took an armbar takedown. In a corner, Benjamin got a shot in on HHH's quad, before sending in punches. Shelton came out the corner into an attempted Pedigree, but Shelton escaped and bailed as we took another break. We came back to see HHH crawling his way around ringside, as we saw that Benjamin whipped HHH hard into the corner, sending him out, a la HBK. Benjamin then caught Hunter with a neckbreaker as The Game came back in. Benjamin teased a hangman's neckbreaker, but turned it into a submission hold part way through. They made their way to the mat, where Benjamin put on a Figure Four headscissors. HHH turned it over and scored a 2 count with Benjamin locked in the hold. Shelton then ate an elbow to create separation. Benjamin tried to suplex HHH but HHH got the chance to suplex him back in. However, Benjamin reversed it into a neckbreaker for a close 2 count! Benjamin put some shots in on the neck, before putting on a bodyscissors while pulling on the back of the neck. HHH got back to his feet, but Benjamin stayed in control. Despite a corner charge being blocked, Benjamin pulled Hunter into a corner and then hit a Stinger Splash to HHH's back. However, a second was avoided and HHH hit a shot to the back of Benjamin's head, prompting a standing 10 count. The Harley Race knee hit its mark and HHH then hit a powerslam for a 2 count. The Dragon Whip was avoided and HHH hit a DDT for a close 2 count. Benjamin ducked a shot and hit a Big Boot for a really close 2. However, after whipping HHH into the corner, Shelton ran into the spinebuster. Pedigree was blocked with a backbreaker by Benjamin for a 2 count. Facebuster by HHH drew out Khali and Runjin Singh for reasons known only to themselves. This distracted HHH, although he saw Pay Dirt coming, and hit the Pedigree for the three count. ---------- 7.5/10 - Really competitive match, with Benjamin getting some really good offence in on HHH. I still don't buy him, or anyone else, as a great threat come the PPV, but they can certainly put up a fight. ---------- HHH went right back to staring a hole in Khali, beckoning the big Indian to the ring. However, Benjamin's blindside this time worked as he hit HHH in the back of the head with the US Title. He then got out the ring, allowing Khali to hit the Khali Bomb on HHH, leaving The King Of Kings laying. We cut back to Vicki Guerrero one last time, as he helplessly paced her room. Suddenly the lights went out and Vicki started screaming at the top of her lungs as the show ended. OVERALL - 7.5/10 (+ 0.5 on last week) - Really good show this week, with the 2 main matches delivering well and the show long angle of Vicki's growing madness at what Undertaker was (or maybe wasn't) doing to her made sense as something to do this week without over-exposing him. I will say though it's clear that Edge inspired her great performances because without him, she has really gone downhill. Beyond that, the two debuts were fine for what they wanted to accomplish, and the women's tag match was about as good as I've ever seen Maryse work, so that's pretty much a bonus. Aaron Wood got his fat ass wasted last night at the end-of-run staff party for the company he worked with during the Edinburgh Fringe. It was great fun, especially when they brought out a whole roasted pig to serve up in rolls. It was a hearty beast, and Aaron has never enjoyed a pig in such a way before. He really must do it again sometime. Didn't stop him being hung over this morning though. And for some reason, he spent a lot of the couple of hours before watching Smackdown looking at Depeche Mode videos on YouTube... When he's bored, and he gets bored easily, you can normally find him on the WWI Forums or playing "Wrestler" on Facebook with many of his WWI friends. Or he'll be playing one of his many PS3 games, which include Burnout Paradise, Unreal Tournament 3, Uncharted, Gran Turismo 5: Prologue and GRAND THEFT AUTO IV~!~!~!~!. HE ALSO NOW HAS MADDEN 09 AND IS LOOKING FORWARD TO TIGER WOODS AND TNA IMPACT. YES. TNA IMPACT! You can find him with the username "aaron24wood", if you want to so battle with him. Aaron's mood today was...not nearly regretful enough... Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on ClubWWI.com : Aaron
Aguliera Christian
Cage Jackie
Gayda Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Bruno
"Harvey Wippleman" Lauer Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Diamond
Dallas Page Harley
Race Sylvester
Terkay
Need More Insanity? Join The Club
|
| All content contained here Copyright 2008 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
