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Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: The Scramble Guys (& Khali) Mix It Up...
By Aaron Wood
LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Vicki forgot how to yell and scream, Zeke & Brian went to very different parts of the library and Brie Bella wasn't as cheesy as she sounds...
THIS WEEK… Before the opening credits, we got a long graphic in honour of Killer Kowalski, before hitting a recap of the post-Summerslam stuff between Vicki & Undertaker and the whole "Apologise" thing. It clipped the stuff she had done to him, and I had forgotten she stripped him of the title (for all the Gogoplata choking) as well as banishing him. Now THIS is "On The Fly" Booking... HHH made his way to the ring with his "King Of Kings" them (because remember, Promo Hunter is the "King of Kings" and Worker Hunter is "The Game" and never the twain shall meet). Between those two themes and the theme for the PPV on Sunday, I've had my fill of Motorhead for the year, to be sure. He said that on Sunday he'd defend the title in the first ever Scramble match (well, I'd say it's one of the first three ever. Then again, HHH probably knows the current running order...), and it could be the most difficult challenge he's ever faced. Each guy going for a pin and then hoping they last the rest of the time limit. And Joey Styles and his geeks at WWE.com (and it's apparent maths department) informed him that he had an 80% chance of losing the title. Shelton Benjamin interrupted, saying that the match wasn't about Hunter, it was a crapshoot where you needed luck and talent. And he had all the talent, so he planned to add to his belt collection on Sunday. Do you doubt him? Who was it that dropped Jeff Hardy last week? Who downed MVP? Who put HHH himself on his ass? Video evidence from last week seemed to suggest that Shelton himself was the dude responsible. HHH said that was cool, but what else was cool is that he left out the bit where HHH beat Benjamin. But hey, that just meant Shelton was a great cheapshot artist. But hey, why not drop the mic, come to the ring and see how he gets on. Shelton walked the aisle, but as he did so, MVP made his way out. He said "The King Of Bling was better then the King Of Kings", before claiming he was better than the Enigma, The guy with "The" in his name and he was better than the "Gold Standard". MVP and Benjamin started arguing between themselves over last week. HHH then decided that rather than let this continue on, he'd try something new and have a booking session break out as he wondered how long the two had been with the WWE. This was a week before a PPV. HHHH talks about defending the title on Sunday in what is called a "promo". At that point during the aforementioned "promo", they interrupt him, talking trash. HHH should then take the mic and insult them and their families, forcing them to charge the ring, but he turns it around on them, kick their asses and they run away for the rest of the night! It's a simple formula! HHH claimed he'd be champion for the next century... At that point, THE Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel hit the ring from behind. Kendrick was downed, but as HHH locked eyes with Zeke, Kendrick hit a heel kick, downing the champ. Just as the heels were stomping away on HHH, Hardy's music hit and he ran out to make the save. He dumped Spanky, downed MVP and then hit the Twist Of Fate on Benjamin, which led JR to utter the following rather unfortunate bon mot... "Jeff Hardy is on fire..." Hardy went up for a Swanton, but Ezekiel crotched him. However, as Zeke threatened violence, HHH came back in with a chair and hit Zeke in the back, forcing the heels to bail. That said, Zeke didn't really sell the shot and had to be pulled back by The Kendrick as the "promo" ended. R-Truth def. Bam Neely in a "Was that better for you Vince?" match We came back from break to see R-Truth make his entrance, and in a move I hate on a regular basis, they had him coming through the crowd, rapping his song. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not the entrance itself that I dislike. It's the fact that for no apparent reason, they didn't so this last week. If they planned on having him come out like he did tonight, why didn't he do it last week when it could have made a better first impression instead of his goofy dancing. He looked like he was missing something last week and this week, they've put in what he was missing. Ron Killings is a dude that needs the mic in his hand during his entrance or he looks like a goof. Suffice to say, he adjusted the lyrics away from TNA... Bam made his way out, and unfortunately, it wasn't to the theme that "Kerwin" had cued up on ECW... Speaking of Kerwin, Chavo made his way out with his fence. Truth dodged a corner charge and hit an armdrag to start things off, although Bam's power won out when he dumped him in the corner to work him over, followed by a short clothesline for a 2 count. Bam put on a neck vice, but Truth was up quickly and begun to fight back, hitting a back heel kick and then the spinning forearm. Bam whipped Truth into the corner, but Truth blocked the charge, skinned the cat to the top and hit an old-school front missile dropkick. He then hit the Axe Kick for the three count. ---------- 5/10 - Quick and fairly dominant win. That was certainly more in the mould that it was reported Vince wanted last week but didn't get. ---------- Tazz & Jr talked about how it was said that Vicki Guerrero wouldn't be in the building tonight, but she had made the matches, such as the main event as well as the four Scramble challengers facing each other in singles matches. You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say Undertaker didn't particularly like Vicki... We came back to see Undertaker already in the ring. He said that they say that the anticipation of death was worse than death itself, but he'd be letting Vicki decide because at the PPV, he'd be coming for her soul. So, until Sunday, he'd leave her with some stuff to think about. His hand squeezing her throat under the strength leaves her body. Her cold lifeless body being fondled by HHH in a Kane mask in a mahogany coffin that was like a prison, and as she gasped for air, he's set the coffin ablaze. Her lungs would fill with the acrid smell of burning as her flesh roasted. And she'd descend to Hades where she'd join Edge. He promised Vicki endless agony and an eternity in hell. The lights went out and when they came back on, Undertaker had disappeared. Shelton Benjamin def. MVP in a "Well, I assume that Shelton really is the better heel then..." Which was a good thing too as MVP made his entrance for his match. He looked around as he did, given Undertaker's spooky exit, and even did a spot of Eric Young-acting when his pyro went off, although it was still better acted than the aforementioned Young. We again saw a backstage promo by Shelton Benjamin where he talked about how precious gold was and thusly how great he was. What odd placement for this stuff. It's almost an introduction to his introduction... They did some "amateur" stuff early, but MVP slapped Shelton, which prompted Benjamin to tackle MVP down and work him over in the corner. MVP took a powder and threatened to walk away, but as Shelton went after him, Porter suckered Shelton with a punch. That scored a 2 count in the ring. European headlock by MVP. Montel then changed that up into something of a camel clutch. However, without the arm trapped, Shelton pushed up and out of the hold, dropping down and hitting a backbreaker off the knee for a 2 count. Benjamin jumped up top, but he saw MVP had moved. However, he jumped back down into a running boot for a close 2 count. However, Benjamin hit Paydirt right away and scored the three count! ---------- 6/10 - Not bad while it lasted, but it sure as hell didn't last too long! But then again, as you will see, it's a fairly loaded night, so nothing is going for ages this week. But yeah, apparently, thanks to some choice words MVP had for a drug tester, it's now been deemed that MVP is a less effective heel than Benjamin is. Welcome to the WWE... ---------- Maria was getting made up backstage when she ran into Maryse. Horribleness ensued. Maryse slighted Maria's outfit before telling saying she'd take it easy so to prevent any "wardrobe malfunctions". Maryse then, possibly, insinuated her breasts were bigger than Maria's. I think that's what was supposed to be said. Certainly something about how Maria's clothes would be too small for her. Maybe she's calling herself fat? Maryse def. Maria in a "Well, it wasn't "Candice" bad..." match Maryse made her way out first as the worst was confirmed in that we would be paying to see Maryse vs. Michelle McCool. Well, I say "we". We in the UK get this one for free... And don't forget, I'll be on tap for WWI this Sunday with the real-time coverage. Maria got an immediate spear...of sorts, followed up by piss poor punches. Maryse took a powder, but sucker Maria with a clothesline...kinda. Back in the ring, Maria hit an OK crossbody, but after whipping Maryse in the corner, Maryse hit a back breaker (although it broke her ass more than anything) before a slingshot into the ropes, with Maria falling back on the knees had to be edited together. Maryse tripped Maria up and rolling into a camel clutch, which I have to admit, was pretty damn cool. Maria scored with a headscissors and a couple of flying clotheslines, but she missed a crossbody out the corner and Maryse hit a DDT for the win. ---------- 3.5/10 - It wasn't as obviously bad as Candice was on Monday night (thank the lord that was a taped show!), but this was still poorly executed and sloppy on both sides. ---------- As Maryse left, Michelle McCool came up from behind (and despite how thin Maryse is, you could barely see Michelle behind her!). They had a staredown before Maryse left, confident going into Sunday. At this point, I just want to thank Paul Lucas for his e-mail on the subject of Maryse, where we've, to date, had a nice conversation with regards to the pros can cons of Maryse and others. THE Brian Kendrick def. Jeff Hardy in a "No, you are not dreaming...He really did win..." match Jeff Hardy made his way to the ring first, followed by Kendrick, as we saw a replay of Kendrick taking HHH down earlier before Hardy made the save. Hardy dodged an immediate charge and worked over Kendrick, grabbing a headlock, before psyching out Kendrick and dropping an elbow. Kendrick moved out the way of the mule kick, and hit a few kicks for a 2 count. Kendrick then worked over the neck of Hardy with various stretches. Jumping heel kick by Kendrick scored a 2 count. Kendrick then put on a camel clutch. WHAT IS WITH THAT MOVE TONIGHT??? Hardy made the ropes after freeing an arm. Hardy then avoided a charge in the corner and the rolling dropkick scored a 2 count. A jawbreaker was countered, but he ran into the hooking clothesline before Hardy hit the sitout Gordbuster. Hardy then hit Big Show's old "Alley Oop" (the Powerbomb into overhead throw). The Twist Of Fate was blocked and Spanky went outside, but Jeff dived over the top onto Kendrick. However, after rolling Kendrick in, Hardy was grabbed by Zeke, who shoved him into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Kendrick hit The Kendrick for the win. ---------- 6/10 - Again, this was short, but pretty sweet. I suppose with these length of matches, it also puts over that there can be pins within the 20 minutes, because that was 2 pins in around 10 minutes of match time. As Zah rightly noted in his column earlier today, World Title matches tend not to last less than 20 minutes before the end, and multi-pin matches usually run a far bit longer than 20, so I suppose this gets that idea over. ---------- We cut backstage to a wheelchair as a limo pulled up. Vicki got out and bitched at the schmuck with the chair, screaming that she didn't need it, before power walking off, telling the CAR PARK attendant to get the cars out of there. Super Crazy def. Ryan Braddock in a "No, you are not dreaming...Super Crazy has won two matches in a row...IN THE SAME WEEK!" match We came back to see Ryan Braddock in the ring already before Super Crazy came out. Braddock worked Crazy over early with power, but Crazy came with a spinning heel kick for a 1 count. Braddock avoided a corner charge and rammed Crazy's head into the corner. He then clubbed Crazy in the back of the head for a 2 count. Super Crazy got his foot up in the corner, before setting Braddock up and hitting the moonsault for the three count!!! WE HAVE A STREAK!!! ---------- 3/10 - Well, I would hardly say it was a push for Super Crazy, but this week is sure as hell notable to the Mexicool. ---------- However, Crazy wasn't able to celebrate for long as Vladimir Kozlov came out with a pissy look on his face. He said something in Russian before kicking Crazy out the ring. He told Crazy he wasn't competition and then demanded someone better. Cue Big Show, who, as is his way when he's a babyface, with the goofiest smile on the planet. Big Show said that Vlad wanted a challenge but with the current GM, there was probably an oversight, but hey, Vlad wanted competition? Well, he felt competitive too, so whattd'ya say? Kozlov put down his mic and went for a leg when Vicki put a stop to preceding. She told the Ruskie and the baldie to take a hike. She got in the ring and in Kozlov's face, sending him from the ring. As for Big Show, he had interfered with her show for the last time. Not one more distraction or she'd been even more "unfair" than last time. And tonight she had business to take care home, so hit the bricks big fella. She threatened to fine and suspend Show, before saying that this was NOT an oversight. Big Show took that hike, acting incredibly pissy, albeit in a greatly hilarious way. Vicki then said she had an announcement to make. Once the crowd let her speak, she said she reinstated Undertaker, poured her heart out and apologised for her sins, but she was answered with threats on her life? She was the Gm of the show and would not be intimidated or scared and would no longer fear him, so...BRING IT ON! She wasn't bothered if he sent her to hell, since she's been to place that made hell seem like a holiday. And indeed, at the PPV, she would get what she wanted. Undertaker apologising to her! Brie Bella def. Victoria in an "Insert your own "I'm seeing double" joke here..." match We came back from break to see Victoria and her hole-filled attire come out as we saw how things against Brie Bella went last week. Victoria started off hot against the newcomer, working her in the corner and grabbing a headlock. Brie tried to handstand out of the hold, but eventually, she countered out with an armdrag. Bella then stretched Victoria's shoulder joints in a surfboard-like hold for a 2 count. Flying snapmare was followed by a dropkick. Victoria was kicked outside, and Bella dived off the apron onto her. However, Vicky picked Bella up and dumped her in the side of the ring. Victoria put Bella into an over-the-shoulder backbreaker before dumping her down. Bella was tossed out and therein lied the mistake. Bella went under the ring and as JR wondered if Hornswaggle was under there, Bella (suspiciously quickly) appeared from another side of the ring and she kicked Victoria in the gut. Back in the ring, Bella grabbed a schoolgirl for the three count. ---------- 5/10 - Again, this was fine enough. Personally, assuming that the same twin is starting every match, I would have the staring twin get more offence in on the opponent before getting taken over and worked on, because if it is the same twin, then she'd look pretty useless once the reveal is made. Plus, I would have the second twin make more of a comeback. I'd sell it more as Bella getting a second wind rather than having to play possum. But then again, I say this and it's only week 2. We can see how it progresses... ---------- They cut to a quick bit from the Republican Convention with Josh Matthews, Ken Kennedy & Mickie James. Oh man, as someone who would be a total Democrat if he were American, it saddens me to see Mickie supports the GOP. Hell, if it were a six man, with the three guys who went to each convention, The Republicans would kick the Democrat team's ass. I mean, it would be Batista, Shelton and Candice for the Dems and HBK with Kennedy & Mickie with the Reps. You guys got a lucky break. What was unlucky however, given the week's events, was Josh Matthews opening line, which was "It's been a whirlwind week for the WWE here..." After paying the bills, JR sent it to the RAW Rebound, although it was a recap of the Jericho/HBK from Summerslam forwards. They then ran down the current PPV card. He's got 99 problems and a Jeff is one... We cut backstage to HHH, who was with Eve, who brought up HHH's upcoming few days. HHH said it was just another day at the office as a champion. There was a list of guys a mile long who wanted a shot, but what you needed to do was take it obstacle by obstacle. Jeff hardy showed up. HHH wondered if it was possible to finish a sentence on this show. Hardy said he was sorry to interrupt the "promo", but HHH had a big problem on Sunday, and that was him. HHH seemed tickled at Hardy bringing up "problems", since Jeff was on his third strike. HHH def. Great Khali in a "Well, ya did kinda deserve it there, H..." match We saw that the ring was surrounded by the lumberjacks before Great Khali made his way out, followed by HHH. HHH tried throwing fists, but Khali over-powered HHH, working him over in the corner before hitting a clothesline. HHH was dumped out the ring and the heel lumberjacks stomped away on Hunter as we took a break. We came back and Khali had the NERVE HOLD~! on HHH. We saw that during the break, a big leg drop from Khali scored a 2 count. HHH tried to comeback, but ran into a big boot form the Indian. He was clotheslined out again and again the heels attacked. However, this time, Hardy defended HHH, only for MVP & Shelton Benjamin to send him into the guardrail for his troubles. Back in the ring, Khali hit the Khali Bomb, but it only scored a long 2 count. Khali stomped away on HHH in the corner. HHH telegraphed Khali was the knee facebuster. HHH then came off the second rope with a shoulderblock. The heel 'jacks pulled HHH out and stomped away, but Hardy came from the other side of the ring, over the top and out. Kendrick looked to whip HHH into the steps, but Hunter reversed and the back in the ring, ducked a shot and hit the spinebuster on Khali. The Pedigree was countered by Khali, and he went for the Vice Grip. HHH dropped to his knees as his face was mangled, but he got back up and worked his way out the hold, although Khali hit a headbutt. Khali went for the Grip again, but HHH avoided it and hit the Pedigree for the three count. ---------- 6.5/10 - It was as fine a match that a HHH vs. Khali match could be, although the story here was about the lumberjack abuse of HHH and, especially, Hardy's finisher at the end. They've done a decent job of not making HHH look invincible. Sure, he's won the matches he's had for the last couple of weeks, but he's ended up on his back by the end, and he needed saving from the heels earlier. ---------- After the match, Hardy rolled back in the ring to congratulate HHH. Well, I when I say "congratulate", I mean "Hit with the Twist of Fate on". Hardy stood over the downed champion as the show ended. OVERALL - 7/10 (- 0.5 on last week) - Pretty good show this week, doing a really effective job of building up Smackdown's involvement on Sunday. As I said, they've done a good job of making HHH look vulnerable when it could easily be said that he has the weakest set of challengers to contend with. They've done all they can do with Maryse, who while she's a great heel (no-one can deny that), is pretty much nothing in the ring. It's going to be bad on Sunday, especially since they don't have the virtue of editing. It's just going to depend on the degree of badness. And then they've teased some sort of resolution between Vicki & Undertaker on Sunday with Vicki's demand of an apology, although quite where she found a pair this week to stick up to Taker and Big Show, in comparison to last week is a little beyond me, especially when they proffered zero explanation as to what happened after the lights went out. Would it have been so difficult for her to say, "You saw the lights go out, but all it was, was a blown bulb, and it got me thinking, why should I be scared of Taker?" by way of explanation? But hey, it was a decent enough couple of hours... Aaron Wood has had rather an odd day. He watched as an Asian woman seemed to start collecting other Asian women like she was the Pied Piper of Hamlet and farm them onto a bus despite the fact the other women clearly had no idea what route the bus took. He then felt compelled to "blog" a bunch of random stuff on his MySpace for the first time in quite a while for no apparent reason. Then he ended up speaking to a totally random Londoner who contacted him on the Playstation Network, who had been given the wrong username. It took him around 10 minutes to convince this person (by video chat) that he was not the person the dude was after. When he's bored, and he gets bored easily, you can normally find him on the WWI Forums or playing "Wrestler" on Facebook with many of his WWI friends. Or he'll be playing one of his many PS3 games, which include Burnout Paradise, Unreal Tournament 3, Uncharted, Gran Turismo 5: Prologue and GRAND THEFT AUTO IV~!~!~!~!. HE ALSO NOW HAS MADDEN 09, TIGER WOODS 09 and is, at this point, somewhat looking forward to Smackdown vs. RAW 09 and TNA Impact. Then again, he's seen nought but disappointing things come out of both franchises in recent days, so... Anyway, you can find him on the Playstation Network with the username "aaron24wood", if you want to so battle with him. Aaron's mood today was...fairly bemused. Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on ClubWWI.com : Aaron
Aguliera Christian
Cage Jackie
Gayda Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Bruno
"Harvey Wippleman" Lauer Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Diamond
Dallas Page Harley
Race Sylvester
Terkay
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