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Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: A Match That Is Both A Rematch And A Preview...
By Aaron Wood
Sorry guys, but
I've had one hell one a day, and it feels like I've been kicked from pillar to
post at the moment, and as if goes, I was going to have a "theme" of
Lillian Garcia's apparent replacement, Lauren Mayhew, since she has her own
YouTube channel, but I don't have the time tonight. Just gotta crack on, go to bed and hope tomorrow is a better
day...
LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Batista came home to where he was first a Deacon, Scott Armstrong became this generation's Earl Hebner (and I don't mean the Hitler moustache...), Layla went nuts with the Xerox machine while Undertaker was Morgan Freeman to Teddy Long's Jessica Tandy... THIS WEEK… We kick off with last week's abduction of Teddy Long by Undertaker after Teddy explained his actions at Breaking Point. Well, at least he wasn't wearing a new suit... We cut to the arena as CM Punk was introduced (by Justin Roberts, and not as was apparent by show reports, Lauren). Punk said he got it. The people destroyed their brain cells on a daily basis with booze and pills. The reason he brings it up is that it seems many have forgotten his accomplishment, so let's jog those ailing memories. He was the only three-time Straight Edge World Champion in WWE History. He was the only guy in WWE History to win back to back MITB matches at Wrestlemania (let's not forget Edge won his second case from Ken Kennedy...). And he did the Universe a favour we didn't deserve when he got rid of Jeff Hardy FOREVER~! But that ran a close No. 2 to his crowning moment by making Undertaker submit at Breaking Point. He did that! That was him! And he did it without drugs of drinks or the help of anyone in the audience. So he wanted someone in power to come out and lick boot, as he deserved to know who his next opponent was, since he defeated Taker. No-one came out, which Punk took to mean there was no-one left. However, the lights went out and the Druids made their entrance with a casket. They parked the coffin at ringside and left. Punk grabbed himself a chair (as we saw Lauren at ringside) and readied for a swing as soon as it opened. When it didn't, he nervously got out to investigate, hitting the casket a bunch of times. He seemed to be in the belief Taker was inside, but as he readied himself and flipped the lid, it revealed a dishevelled Teddy Long, in the same suit as last week, albeit a ripped one. AWESOME moment here as some of the crowd took the chant of "F**K 'EM XXXX, F**K 'EM UP!" and did "BUCKLE UP TEDDY, BUCKLE UP!" Punk jumped back on the mic and said he got Punk, and as Teddy wriggled, Punk assumed Long was agreeing that Taker was too scared to come out. Punk said Teddy looked like he had gone on a bender. Punk lifted Long out of the casket and into the ring. Punk helped Long undo his tethered wrist and gag. Long took the mic and said that effective immediately, the Hell's Gate ban was no longer in effect and was now legal, and that at the PPV, Punk would defend the title against The Undertaker in a Hell In A Cell match, very much to Punk's chagrin. However, this was not all, Punk would be facing Undertaker tonight! Long rolled out of the ring and up the ramp to seek safety as Punk looked on in dismay. We came back to JR & Todd as they discussed what had just happened. John Morrison & Finlay def. Mike Knox & Dolph Ziggler in a "Fine, but ultimately un-noteworthy match coming up...at least in the sense that I can't think of a comedy headline for it..." match Morrison was first out, as they confirmed that Morrison and Mr. Ziggles would go at it at the PPV. Finlay was out next, as he stood in for Rey Mysterio in talking to the kids all the way down, as we saw the end of Finlay vs. Ziggler on Superstars. JR's fact about Knox this week was that he enjoyed dissecting frogs in college. Meanwhile, Ziggler was hesitant to get in the ring at first, but did so to pose. Finlay & Ziggler started things off, and Finlay scored with a shoulder block and slam. He gave Knox a shot, but as he lifted Ziggler, Knox made a tag behind Finlay's back, and this allowed Mikey to get the jump on Finlay to take control. Ziggler tagged back in and hit a Stinger Splash for a 1 count. Ziggler locked in a great chinlock (you could say inverted chinlock) as we took a break. We returned with Knox in control of Finlay, but the Irishman jawbreakered out quickly. Knox downed Finlay again though and then tagged in Ziggler before cutting Finlay off. The leaping elbow drop scored a 2 count. Finlay was locked in a chinlock, but tried to make the tag. However, Ziggler stopped him and brought him back across the ring before Knox tagged in. He locked in another chinlock. Finlay got back up, but Knox stayed in control before tagging in Ziggler again. Ziggler waited for Finlay and hit a dropkick for a 2 count. Finlay looked for a tag, but Dolph cut him off again and put on another chinlock. Finlay stood up again though, but Dolph whipped him into the corner. However, Finlay moved out the way of the charge, and Ziggler hit the top of the ringpost. Ziggler tagged Knox, but it also allowed Finlay to tag John Morrison. Morrison went to work with shots on Knox. Morrison scored with a diving headscissors, following up with a jumping heel kick and standing Shooting Star Press for a long 2 count. In the corner, Morrison hit mounted punches, but Knox knocked him off and hit a bicycle kick. Knox hit Finlay, but Morrison caught Knox and hit the Flying Chuck for a 2 count that Ziggler broke up. As Ziggler occupied Morrison, Knox charged up for his crossbody, but Morrison moved, and Knox hit Dolph with it. Knox dumped Morrison in the corner, but with the ref's back turned as he tended to Ziggler, Finlay hit Knox with the shillelagh and Morrison hit Starship Pain for the win. ---------- 7.5/10 - A good tag team match, if ultimately unremarkable. It was just a good match with four good guys who just went out there and worked, with the most basic of psychology of one guy getting worked over a lot and the faster guy coming in on the hot tag. Basic, yet highly effective. ---------- Whitey goes filtching... We cut backstage to see Cryme Tyme with Eve and Slam Master J, as Jesse asked what he had to do to roll with the three of them. JTG produced a can of spray paint and told him to do something in Teddy Long's office. Jesse went in with relish, as Cryme Tyme mocked him for his whiteness. Jesse re-appeared, clutching the Smackdown and WCW DVD's with him. As they talked, we saw Teddy Long (still bedraggled) go in. JTG said there was a time to talk, a time to fight and a time to run. Cryme Tyme and Eve scarpered as Long got in Jesse's face. Jesse admitted defacing his office. Long told Jesse he now had a match. Jesse asked who it was against, but Teddy said he would have to wait to find out. Kane def. Slam Master J in a "To be honest, he asked for it..." match We came back from break to see Slam Master J in the ring, and he was pumped. Until Kane's music hit that is... Jesse went to stick and move, but nothing worked and Kane quickly hit the chokeslam for the win. He was so quick, he didn't even bother with the top rope clothesline. And he uses that all the time! ---------- 1/10 - I suppose it was a necessary step in the angle to come later, but beyond that, nothing. ---------- We saw Cryme Tyme and Eve as they talked about what J had gotten into. We joined Vince McMahon as he walked the halls with Punk chasing behind him, although Vince didn't react until Punk called him Mr. McMahon. Punk wondered if Punk was going to allow Teddy Long to do what he was now doing. McMahon said that Punk, Teddy & the referee should have thought about the consequences of their conspiracy. Punk looked mildly confused and was about to say "But that was your idea", but Vince cut him off and re-affirmed it was THEIR conspiracy. He wished Punk luck before walking away. Smackdown X commercial. As I said last week, look out for a bunch of stuff from me (and possibly others) in the next week). This could be a bad sign. Last time Vince did this, it was for Elijah Burke... Vinny Mac came out, and Grisham said that rumours backstage had McMahon there with a huge announcement about the future of Smackdown. He thanked the crowd for their warm reception (which it was). He said it reminded him of home. But people may ask, how could he have a home in Oklahoma? Why would he live in this backwards hillbilly state? However, he said that no matter where you were from, we would have a celebration of a decade of Smackdown next week, paying dues to those who had appeared on the show. Next week, we would see DX and John Cena on the show (neglected to mentioned Randy Orton & Legacy, since the main event is an 8 man match with those 6, Taker & Punk), but that's next week. But to the present, he wanted to introduce us to a person he personally signed to Smackdown. Someone who did remind him of himself. High intellect. Aggressive. Handsome son of a gun too, as it goes. Cut to a shot of the crowd looking utterly confused as to who it could be. That said, given that Vince is describing a Scotsman. Smart... good looking... Yep, that's a Scotsman for you. Vince said this person would be a future World Champion and he was simply badass. Chances are he wouldn't appreciate Oklahoma any more than he did, but anyway, from Scotland (TOLD YA!), here is Drew McIntyre! Drew came out and shook hands with Vince before Vinny Mac left. Drew said he should be surprised, but he's not. As there was no-one on the Smackdown roster who could match his potential or aggression, and since Teddy Long was too busy to see what had been happening, it fell upon the chairman of the board to sign a REAL superstar to Smackdown. Now, next week was the decade of Smackdown celebration. And we'd be celebrating the greats like Stone Cold and The Rock, but every week thereafter, it would be about him. There was going to be a big party later in his honour welcoming him to Smackdown, and the party had just begun. This brought out R-Truth, who rapped his way through the crowd, although he pretty much stared a hole in McIntyre as he walked down the stairs. He addressed McIntyre and said he wanted to welcome Drew to Smackdown. Truth slipped in the ring and took down McIntyre and laid in blows as McIntyre turtled up before referees broke it up. Y9ou know something, Drew has been getting good heat, and the US chants here almost deafened him out, and for a midcard match, they've done a great job so far in making we want to see these 2 get in the ring. Smack Of The Night is Batista and Jericho's shenanigans last week. Batista def. Big Show by DQ in a "Batista is clearly running PPV behind..." match Big Show made his way out first, with Jericho, unlike last week where Jericho was all alone. Batista was all alone, as it goes. But then again, his entrance theme suggests he enjoys solitude. The pair circled a little before they locked up, which Big Show kinda won, but only in so far as Batista was pushed backwards. This prompted Jericho to shout at JR about Show's strength and for Batista to start tagging Batista was shots, but he came off the ropes into Big Show, which with Show standing there like an inanimate object, sent Batista flying. Big chops in the corners. Batista fired back with a couple of shots, but Big Show clotheslined Batista down. Big Show worked over Batista's gut, before whipping Batista. Batista caught himself though and Show charged, but Batista moved, and Show was crotched. Batista shoulder tackled him over the top and to the floor as we hit the ads. Big Show had Batista in a chinlock as we saw that Jericho now had his tie and jacket off, before we saw Batista walk into a spear thanks to a Jericho distraction, which allowed Show to take control. Batista jawbreakered out the chinlock, but he ran right into a bearhug. Batista looked like he was going to escape, so Big Show hit the Hog Log for a 2 count. Big Show locked the bearhug back on, but again, Batista got back to his feet and elbowed his way out of the hold. Show whipped Batista into the corner and while the charge was blocked, show grabbed Dave and hit a scoop slam. Big Show went up to the second rope, but missed the Vader Bomb (as EVERYONE does, including Vader). Show whipped Batista into the corner, but Batista avoided the charge and hit a spear. Batista tried the Batista Bomb, but couldn't get show up. Big Show teased the chokeslam, but Batista escaped, scooped the leg, and out of nowhere, locked in an Ankle Lock! This drew in Jericho, who ran into a spinebuster, and drew the DQ. ---------- 6.5/10 - Decent enough match, especially for these two, although Batista suddenly busting out the Ankle Lock like he's the second coming of Angle was pretty bizarre. Not against it, but not exactly in character for him. ---------- After the spinebuster, Jericho was put in the ankle lock and without Big Show to help him, Jericho tapped like a bitch within seconds while Batista grapevined the leg. He eventually let it go though as his music hit. We saw Big Show limp up the ramp while Jericho writhed at ringside with his shoe and sock off. The announcers sent it back to what happened last week, or most recently, the very beginning of this show. Teddy just can't catch a break with this picture... We joined Teddy backstage, with a great look of sorry for himself on his face. Vince McMahon walked in to greet him. However, he wondered why Teddy looked like he was dressed like the sharpest bum on the block. Long said he wouldn't have dressed like this, but Taker had sent him to hell and back. Vince said that Teddy should have realised that his conspiracy would have consequences. Teddy was about to say something when Vince cut him off like he had done with Punk earlier, if you get my drift, and said he wouldn't want to be Teddy, Punk or the ref. But hey, where’s his picture? Long said the picture was here, but it wasn't finished yet. Vince didn't understand, but Long said it didn't have the right frame. Teddy continued to suggest that he not show it, but Vince insisted as Vince does, and Long revealed it, prompting Vince to get mad. We turned round to see it was what Jesse had defaced earlier with "Vinnie 2 Da Mac" on it. Vince said if Teddy was messing with him, hell would seem like nothing, before storming off. Summerslam DVD ad. Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader vignette since John Morrison and The Miz will be on it soon. Have to say, our version's theme song is catchier and workers better with "ten year old" than "fifth grader"... DH Smith def. JTG in a "What? The Dynasty can win outside of Canada too???" match JTG hit an immediate pair of dropkicks and the facebuster in the corner for a 2 count. However, Smith came back and hit a short clothesline. Stomps on the mat by DH were followed by a powerslam for a 2 count of his own. Smith picked JTG up in a Fireman's Carry and dumped him down, in prime position to put on a surfboard like hold, stretching JTG out on his side. JTG got up, but DH drove JTG into the corner and drove his shoulder in. JTG started to fire back with clotheslines and a blockbuster-like neckbreaker. JTG blocked a corner charge and hit a leg lariat, but Natalya put Smith's leg on the bottom rope. Eve got involved with Nattie, but as Shad pulled Eve away, Tyson Kidd was able to hit an uppercut-like kick to JTG, allowing DH to hit a Saito Suplex for the three count! ---------- 6/10 - Decent enough little match to keep this feud going. Don't often see a back suplex as a finisher though, especially when there's a more obvious one. ---------- The Dynasty headed up the ramp as Shad and Eve tended to JTG. This got the announcers to talk about RAW on Monday and Cena's Gauntlet. We went back to earlier as we saw Batista busting out Ankle Locks on Big Show and Jericho. This sent us to Josh Matthews, who said that after the break, he would be joined by Batista. We came back, and lo! No Batista! But JR & Grisham were talking next week, as we saw confirmation of the massive 8-man tag match. Called it. We finally joined Josh & Deacon Dave, as Josh said it was out that Batista had challenged JeriShow at the PPV. But who's the partner? Batista said he had a partner, who wasn't just one of his best friends, but one of the best ever in the WWE and former World Champion. He said him and his partner had JeriShow's number, although his partner had his own number, 619... CM Punk def. The Undertaker by Countout in a "wow...jobbing to that weak of a push..." match Punk made his way out first before the break, as we saw the beginning of the show with him and Teddy. Undertaker, as ever, took a day and a half to make his way out. Punk tried to use his speed to avoid Taker early, but was caught in the corner. Punk was whipped across, but he blocked the charge and got some shots in before the ref pulled him back. This also allowed Taker to grab Punk and toss him over the top to the floor. We rejoined them as Punk had Taker in a side headlock. Taker shoved off and hit a shoulderblock before sending Punk over the top again. Punk tried running away, rolling back in the ring. Punk thought he was catching Taker on the way in, but Taker stepped back before catching Punk, hotshotting him off the top rope. Taker worked his usual offence on the edge of the ring, including the leg drop. Back in the ring, Taker wrung Punk's arm and worked the shoulder before looking for Old School. However, Punk blocked it and kicked Taker in the head while sat on the top. They fought up top, and Taker knocked Punk down, but Punk was up quick, hitting a series of headbutts before heading up again, this time hitting the superplex. This only scored a 2 count, so Punk started kicking the back before hitting a leg drop for a 2 count. Punk locked on a Figure Four Neck lock. However, Taker grabbed Punk's throat to break it, teasing the chokeslam, but Punk blocked it with a series of kicks to the leg. Slugfest was won by Taker, who hit a splash in the corner, Snake Eyes and a Big Boot. The leg drop scored a 2 count. Taker called for the finish, but Punk countered the chokeslam again with a head kick. However, as Punk crawled over for the cover, Taker suddenly locked in Hell's Gate. Punk was too near the ropes though and grapevined his legs around them immediately. Taker broke the hold before 5, and Punk slipped out as he grabbed his title. However, Taker got the jump on him. He threw the title in the ring and took the top off the table. He was about to hit The Last Ride, but Punk slipped out of it and weakly shoved Taker onto the announce desk, siding back in the ring, and just as Taker was getting in, the referee counted to ten, meaning Punk had won! ---------- 7.5/10 - A good match between the two once again, as Taker eases into working a bit longer once more while not having one or the other get decisive wins, so I can forgive the finish, weak shove aside. ---------- Punk ran away up the ramp as Taker once again contemplated Punk once again dodging a bullet as the show ended. OVERALL - 7/10 (+/- 0 on last week) - This was a perfectly acceptable show that set up a few matches for the PPV, which it needed to do, while telling the story of the aftermath of Teddy Long's trip with Undertaker, while they subtlety suggested that Vince was behind the 2009 Montreal Screwjob after all. What I did like was that Cryme Tyme and Jesse's pretty meaningless angle ended up having a knock on effect on one of the main ones, of Teddy & Vince. Aaron has had an incredibly sh**ty day today, which has, to top it all off, required him to buy a new computer monitor, and expenditure which was the LAST thing he needed happening right now. He doesn't know what he's done to deserve this bull**it, but suffice to say, he's incredibly annoyed by it all. That said, he did watch the premiere of FlashForward via stream, and it is AWESOME! You can find him either on Facebook, MySpace(myspace.com/aaron24wood), or on Twitter(twitter.com/aaron24wood). And don't forget to check out the ClubWWI Twitter feed while you're there. Or if you're into gaming, Aaron's Playstation Network screen name is, you guessed it, aaron24wood as well!
Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on...
Lance
Cade D-Ray
3000 Bobby
Eaton Manny
Fernandez Greg Gagne Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Harley
Race Dave Taylor
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