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Aaron's UnReal Time Decade Of Smackdown Review: 10 Years On And DX Are Still Main Eventing...
By Aaron Wood
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James Guttman and Aaron Wood take an in-depth look at the first ten years of Smackdown and discuss the way the show has changed, how it caught a break in the roster split, Impact comparisons, and a look at the biggest stars and moments from the past decade including: Billy and Chuck's Wedding, Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show, The Mr. America Angle, The NWO Poison Promo, Stephanie McMahon's Silliest Moments, Bald Kurt Angle vs. Kurt Angle with Hair, Jamie Noble and Nidia, Dominick Mysterio, Deuce and Domino, Londrick, The Rise of John Cena, Drew McIntyre, Stone Cold's "What" Promo, The Invasion Angle, Eddie Guerrero's Latino Heat Gimmick, and Much More Hello my Gathering and welcome to the PAR-TAY! Everyone is invited, even Canadian Bulldog (so long as he signs a legal document promising not to feel up all the women here because he's too handsy...) because a special friend is 10 years old this week, officially anyway, as the WWE's best show, Smackdown, has it's Decade Of Smackdown celebrations this week. Indeed, as you can see, even though he was due to have LEX LUGER on Megawatts later in the day, Our fearless liege, James F. Guttman found the time to record a special audio with me along for the ride to discuss a bunch of Smackdown-related stuff, so you can head over to the Club now and check it out! But first, you have a review to enjoy! If you didn't already see it, I went back and found a copy of Smackdown's "Series Premiere" episode and reviewed that: All Good With Aaron Wood's VERY UnReal Time Smackdown Review For Episode 1 This, of course, started off this week's "theme", which was the Smackdown opening videos over the years, the last of which will be here. Indeed, this one right here is my personal favourite ever! Mid 2004 (Genesis of "Rise Up") LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: DH Smith cut some rug, Punk pushed to win, Vince McMahon said there'd be a Scottish World Champion and Batista channelled his inner-Angle... THIS WEEK… We kick off this Very Special Episode with a "highlight reel" of stuff, very much akin to the opening of the Smackdown 10th Anniversary DVD, showing brief moments of stuff from Smackdown over the years from the sublime to the ridiculous. We then got the brand new opening credit sequence, with FAR better visuals to them and a much better song. And what will get the smarts talking is the fact it has the lyric "so do you really wanna cross the line?". You know, because that's what TNA say... As it goes, I know I've just given you my favourite sequence ever, but this may be an instant second. I really like it. JR pimps the Biggest Eight Man Tag in the history of the show as well as a special message from The Rock, only to join JR & Grisham in the ring, as Grisham verbally fallates Boston, Mick Foley-style, as the showed the backstage party. However, there was some action to be had in the ring first...  Batista vs. Kane in a "Nothing says "Party!" like a pair of hosses..." match Batista made his way out first, allowing JR to send it back to a flashback of a "Smackdown Moment". That is to say, a clip of the DVD. Here's what I said in my review: 64: Man, if you think that Rey's World Title win was a cash-in on Eddie's death, try his tag title win with Batista! Also, why not point out how Batista f**ked Melina before the match? This DVD is a 15-rated piece after all... After that, Kane made his way out. The pair locked up, and Batista took Big Red into the corner, forcing the break, but Kane got the cheapshot in, although Batista ducked under a shot in another corner. He had his whip reversed and he was knocked down, but Kane missed an elbow drop and Batista took Kane down for a 1 count. Batista put on a side headlock, but Kane back suplexed out of it. Kane took Batista into the corner, as both announcers called Batista a "Blue Chip signing". Batista was sent into the corner before an armbar takedown, as Kane went to work on the left arm of Batista. He put on a keylock but Deacon Dave powered out and sent Kane out the ring as we hit the ads. We came back to see Kane was back in control with an armbar. During the break, Kane had booted Batista off the apron to take control. Batista shoved Kane off and they traded blows before booting each other down. Batista got control and he hit a back elbow and flying shoulder block. Clothesline in the corner by Batista saw Kane reverse a whip and hit one of his own before a Sidewalk Slam scored 2 count for Kane. Kane went up and hit the flying clothesline. Kane called for the finish, but Batista fired off a spinebuster for a 2 count instead. Batista set for the powerbomb, but Kane drove him back into the corner. Batista exploded out with a clothesline before Dave headed up top. However, he jumped off into a chokeslam attempt. Batista blocked it, but ended up in the corner as Kane mounted him with shots. However, Batista grabbed Kane and hit the Powerbomb for the win. ---------- 7/10 - I have to admit, I wasn't looking forward to this on paper, but as a big man match, I rather enjoyed it, and it certainly didn't get boring, just giving the guy on the PPV a nice win ahead of it. ---------- Mid 2004 - Late 2004 (First proper version of Rise Up) If I were Teddy, I'd have started necking the stuff and I wouldn't stop... We cut backstage to see Teddy Long welcoming a bunch of people, including apropos of nothing, Brooklyn Brawler. He greeted Maria and Michael Cole, who were at Hornswaggle's bar. As Maria left, Horny slapped Maria on the ass, which got Cole to pronounce, "Vintage Hornswaggle!". Horny returned to his bar as Cole pimped out the greatness of the shrimp. Cole said Long should have a drink with him. Teddy wanted a Pepsi, but Finlay walked in agog at this passing up of the sauce, telling Swaggle to break out the Irish Whisky, which got Cole to pronounce "Vintage Finlay!". Long tried to resist, but Finlay persuaded him to take it. As they were talking, you could see Cole dipping a shrimp into his whisky! Finlay said he had a toast, so the three took to the stage. Finlay gave a toast to Smackdown. However, as Long was about to let that sweet, sweet liquor pass his lips, CM Punk stopped him ("Vintage Punk!").  Punk gave his own speech, saying that there was to be no more booze on Smackdown. Prohibition rules. And if they didn't like it, watch what happened later. Long kinda blew Punk off and wandered off, only to walk into...  Vickie Guerrero. She had a new haircut, but the same opening line. Teddy thanked her for coming. Vickie said she couldn't believe that Thaddeus had un-banned the Hell's Gate submission, saying some people didn't have the backbone to run the show. This guy walked in (who as I know perfectly well was Eric Escobar from FCW), as Vickie introduced her new boyfriend, Eric. He said he wanted to introduce, to the world, pure Essssssssssscobar (which for my sins is a gimmick he has been running with in shows I've still to cover, but am just about to hit). Vickie said Mr. McMahon had signed Eric earlier in the day and had given his approval for Vickie to return as his manager. A gloved hand slapped Long on the shoulder and a fairly deep voice called Long's name. And it appeared to be the Undertaker's midget brother. But as it was, he revealed himself to be...  ...Santino Marella! He said this was a great party as Long breathed a sigh of relief. At all this new found stress, Long downed his whisky shot and sighed... Late 2004 - Mid 2005 (Second version of Rise Up) Zach should just be thankful Shieky didn't make him humble... We came back from break to see Cole, who was now really quite drunk and Finlay, as Shoelace exclaimed "Vintage Shrimp!". Finlay told Hornswaggle to bring more booze over. But Cole told him to get more shrimp. You know, because he's small! The Little Bastard kicked Cole in the leg before heading over to the VIP Lounge, as we saw Zach Ryder trying to get his way in. Mark Henry wouldn’t' let him in, so Zach tried to pay him off. Matt Hardy & Kelly Kelly showed up. They were followed by most of the Divas and Charlie Haas. Maria followed with Sergeant Slaughter. There was room for one more, and that ended up being...SHIEKY BABY~! (and MVP even called him that!). Ryder was aghast which prompted Sheik to say "Ho Ho Ho, You Know It, Jabroni!", making everyone laugh at Ryder. You are still missed... We went to the legend that is Todd Grisham and JR, as they introduced a video dedicated to Eddie Guerrero. It was a nicely done video, which focused more on the joy and fun he had in his life, as well as a spot on his WWE Title win over Lesnar. It of course touched on the aftermath of his death, with the 10-bell salute, but it was a celebratory video, not a sad one, ending with a nice montage of his career through the ages and some high flying. This led to the obligatory Eddie chant and applause in the arena. Dolph Ziggler & The Miz def. John Morrison & Kofi Kingston in a "I'm still f**king annoyed that I couldn't get my video about the Miz & Morrison split up anywhere...." match We came back from break to see JACK SWAGGAH~! on guest commentary. Morrison came out first, allowing the announcers to pimp his match with Ziggler, although if my ears did deceive me, JR suggested this was Morrison's thirtieth year in the WWE. Hasn't aged that bad if true, and then as if the aural wackiness couldn't get any more, well, wacky, Justin Roberts went ahead and announced Kofi Kingston as from being Ghana, west Africa, which while his actual homeland, makes no sense since he's pretending to be Jamaican! Kofi's arrival prompted Swagger to throw the headphones down, although he stayed at ringside itself. Mr. Ziggles and The Mizzles follow thereafter. The Dirt Sheet hosts started things off with Miz trash talking Morrison, and getting a kick in on Morrison to take control. However, Morrison ducked a shot and hit the dropsault and then he sent Miz out of the ring. Ziggler went to sneak in, but Kofi cut him off as we took a break. Ziggler was hit with a flapjack by Kingston as we returned. Kingston was whipped into the ropes, but caught himself and repelled Ziggler, but Swagger distracted Kingston, allowing Ziggler to his Randy Savage's neck snap over the ropes. Ziggler scored a 2 count before tagging Miz. Miz hit back elbows in the corner on Kofi before drawing Morrison in, so Dolph held Kofi while Miz hit the corner clothesline. Miz hit a double axe-handle on Kingston for a 2 count. Kofi battled out of a chinlock, but was hit in the face with a knee. Ziggler tagged in, but as Miz went to slingshot Kofi up, Kofi hit Ziggler instead of the other way round. Ziggler cut off the tag though and hit the leaping elbow drop for a 2 count. Dolph put on a chinlock. Kingston got back on his feet, but Ziggler slammed him down again. Miz tagged back in and taunted Morrison, but it allowed Kofi to avoid the shoulder charge in the corner. This allow Kofi to tag in Morrison as Ziggler came in as well. Morrison hit a spinning jumping heel kick and the standing shooting star press for a 2 count. After whipping Ziggler into the corner, Morrison set for the Flying Chuck, but Miz distracted him. When Morrison did go for it, Ziggler crotched Morrison and then, as he came back in< Ziggler hit the "Zigzag", as his finisher is now called, for the win! ---------- 7.5/10 - A really fun match with four highly athletic guys who will hopefully be the long-term future of the company. ---------- Mid 2005 - Mid 2006 (3rd version of Rise Up) Probably a good thing we didn't see it... We cut backstage to Kung Fu Naki and Yoshi Tatsu as they sang over HBK's music, only for Jillian to run in and take over. She ended and we joined The Sarge and Shieky still arguing about whose country was best. Sheik ate some shrimp, only to start choking. Hurricane jumped in and gave Sheik the Heimlich. Sheik spat out the shrimp. Cut to Michael Cole and Finlay, as a projectile flies in of...you guessed it, a shrimp, and since Heidenriech's muse was in a shrimp-loving mood, he was happy to see a shrimp and started munching on it! It should be noted that Cole, by this point, was F**KING HAMMERED, with a cowboy hat on, and his shirt half undone. However, this was the shrimp and whisky combo that seemed to break the camel's back, as he said it didn't go down too good.  Jericho and Big Show walked in, and Big Show got everyone attention. Jericho said that the pair of them should be the guests of honour since they were on the first show. Not only are they the most powerful duo, but they had the longevity to go with it. However, what didn’t have any longevity was the contents of Cole's stomach as he spewed his load (just off camera) onto Jericho's trousers and feet. Jericho's face here was ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS. Big Show took one look at it and prepared to lose his s**t too. As he disappeared, Joey Styles turned round and gave it an "Oh My God!" The bit that's gonna overshadow everything else this week... After seeing an old building in Boston, Justin Roberts introduced The Rock. The Rock, in a playful mood, acting as if he was reading in a very scripted manner, doing a bunch of takes. In one of them, he mocked Dolph. However, he finally realised what he was going for, morphing into Old School Rock-mode. He reeled off a catchphrase or two, before saying it's been ten years since Smackdown started and The Rock was there, as he uttered the word Smackdown for the first time. He then made the rest of his standard phrases and such, before getting the people to chant his name a couple of times. And ten years later, who was champion now? Some guy named CM Punk... Striaght Edge guy, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, sits down to use the can. He should be CM Punk. He should be BM Punk. You know "Bowel movement", which is what the audience wants to do every time he starts talking. You know, I can't help but think if John Cena had said the same thing, he'd be criticised for it... Anyway, The Rock has never faced Punk, but he had faced The Undertaker. Rock said they had history and sold out arenas around the world. Rock said he had kicked Taker's ass all over the place, but then wanted to backtrack and edit the speech so Taker wouldn't hunt him down and tombstone him. Rock mocked one of the production people, putting over the tombstone. It didn't matter what the guy thought though. Rock said this Sunday, there would be a new World Champion and a new era on Smackdown would be borne and no matter what, the show would belong to the jabroni-beating, pie-eating, has no peer, has no flaw, but now he's tried Smackdown, maybe it's time he guest-hosted RAW, He told the people to get ready, before finishing off, if you smell what The Rock is cooking... Michelle McCool def. Melina in a "I wouldn't mind drinking a couple of the Divas..." Lumberjill match to retain the Women’s Title Justin Roberts introduced the "lumberjacks", clearly getting their genders confused. Melina headed out first, as we saw Maria not looking happy to see her. Michelle took control early, hitting an uppercut and kick to the gut. Melina hit a back elbow though. Melina tried the kick to the head in the ropes, but Michelle pushed her over the top onto the apron. However, Melina ducked a shot by doing the splits. Michelle though knocked Melina off the apron, although before anyone else could touch Melina, Michelle put her back in the ring herself. It was a fairly friendly side anyway. Melina started a comeback and hit a flapjack for a 2 count. Michelle took a kick to the shoulder, but Jillian grabbed Melina's ankle, thusly prompting Melina to dive off the apron onto her and Katie Lea Burchill. It broke down into a mass brawl. Meanwhile though, Melina blocked a corner charge, but Beth Phoenix, who wasn't in the brawl crotched Melina up top. Beth & Melina...reminds me of something...  This left Melina prone for Michelle to hit the Faith Breaker for the three count, as Beth looked on, fairly pleased with herself. ---------- 5.5/10 - Wasn't all that much to this. Would have been nice to mark the tenth anniversary with a title change, has to be said. Plus, the feud is now getting a bit old. ---------- Mid 2006 - Mid 2007 Would have been funnier if Santino cut this promo... Grisham sent it to an Undertaker promo, lit in such a way that saw the shadow of the cell on Taker. Nicely done actually. He said Punk was about to enter the domain of The Undertaker. A Place with no forgiveness, only vengeance. He said he would reclaim the title and knock Punk from the black horse of self-righteousness, and it would soon be the case that Punk would turn to drink and drugs. He welcomed Punk to Hell's Playground. Satan's structure. Hell In A Cell. We saw a fly-past of the Boston skyline. Truth's lucky he let Drew finish his drink, or he would have had his ass kicked. You don't stop a Scotsman drinking booze! We went back to the party where everyone was dancing when Drew McIntyre took the mic. As the newest member of Smackdown, he wanted to make a toast, to Smackdown, it's future World Champion, to him, Drew McIntyre and the party just getting started. Just as Drew finished his drink though..  ...R-Truth flew in, and the pair started a brawl, that unfortunately ended up in the celebration cake. People jumped in to break it up as we faded out and into... Mid 2007 - Mid 2008 (Final Use Of Rise up) The Undertaker, John Cena & DX def. Randy Orton, CM Punk & Legacy in a "The only thing missing was the cell" match DX made their way out first, and bizarrely, didn't say a word. Then Cena came out next, and the place EXPLODED for him. Helps that they were in, for all intents and purposes, his hometown, I suppose. This allowed Grisham to send it to another Smackdown moment: 100: Candice Michelle can't talk like a human...or sing like one either. Also, the spinning WWE Title is shinier than I remembered. Oh, and Todd Grisham is a legend. Hmmm...Cena & DX...Can you remember the last time they crossed paths?  They were rounded out by Taker just before the break. This sent it to another Smackdown moment: 32: Vicki Guerrero in what is a 69 position. I wouldn't be disagreeable... It should also be noted that he had reverted back to the more "classic" look, and not the Ministry one he had been sporting these past few weeks. I'm guessing he's just got flip between them at will. Taker and Shawn Michaels exchanged looks. I suppose this had something to do with it:  BIG BEN~! next week on RAW. Should be a fun show. He's a long-time fan and has appeared on screen a bunch. But then again, since he's my favourite QB and have and will always draft him where possible (particularly in Madden), I would say that wouldn't I? Anyway, back to the arena for the entrances of Legacy and CM Punk. Cena & Cody Rhodes started things off. Cena got an armwringer, but it ended up in the corner, forcing the break. Cena ducked a shot though and whipped Cody across for the bulldog and a 2 count. HHH came in and hit Cody, who fell back and tagged in Ted DiBiase. They locked up, before they traded blows in the corner. Ted reversed a whip, but HHH ran back out and hit a clothesline. Hunter wrung the arm, before whipped Ted into the corner and hitting a neckbreaker for a 2 count. HHH wrung the arm again before the World Champion of Episode one tagged in the special guest referee of Episode 1's main event. HHH held DiBiase for a chop, but Ted quickly rammed HBK's head into the corner. However, HBK got the boot up on the charge. HBK looked for a tag. Specifically, he looked at Undertaker. However, they stared at each other too long and Ted got a shot in. Taker made a blind tag though as Ted was looking the other way, and Taker got in. HBK and Taker started each other down again, before he went to work on Cody, who had just tagged in himself as he hit the break. Taker picked up a 2 count on Cody coming back before HHH tagged in. Hunter hit a delayed suplex. HHH hit the knee drop, before tagging in Michaels. HBK took some punches as Cody came to life, tagging in Ted. Ted continued on, hitting some mounted punches. Orton came in off the tag, and he got his licks in in the corner. The heels conspired to triple team HBK in the corner as Punk tagged in next to stomp on Michaels in the corner. Punk hit a back suplex for a 2 count. Orton tagged in. Randall hit a few deliberate stomps on the chest. Orton put on a chinlock, although as Michaels got back up, all his team-mates reached for a tag. Cena was closest, but HBK managed to hit a back suplex to break the hold. Cody cut off HBK, so Shawn hit an enziguri. Michaels made the tag to Cena. He hit Cody with shoulder blocks and the Protobomb. Five Knuckle Shuffle connected, but DiBiase ran in as Cena looked to finish, breaking that up. DiBiase was whipped into Cody in the corner, prompting Cena to get them both up on his shoulder for the Attitude Adjustment. However, while Orton had the ref in the opposite corner. Legacy managed to slip off Cena and gave him the High/Low to take control. We returned with Punk in control of Cena, picking up a 2 count off a low dropkick to the back of the head. Orton tagged in, hitting a straight right hand. Randy clubbed Cena's chest before hitting a knee drop for a deuce. Cena suddenly looked to finish, but Orton countered into a DDT for another 2 count. TD2 tagged in again, and he stomped Cena in the head for a 2 count of his own. DiBiase locked in a tight chinlock. Cena managed to prise the arms apart, but he bounced off the ropes into a big clothesline. Ted hit his daddy's fist drop a couple of times, but he missed a third. Cena hit a belly to belly suplex to create separation. Punk tagged in for his team just as HHH tagged in himself! HHH hit the facebuster off the knee. Cody tried to sneak in, but HHH caught him before hitting Punk with the AA Spinebuster. Taker called for the tag and came in, but Punk rolled out and tagged Orton (which took Randy by surprise), so Taker brought pulled him in instead. Taker went to work on Orton, hitting his signature moves on The Viper. Orton scored with his backbreaker, but he bent over right into Hell's Gate. Rhodes broke that up, but HHH tossed him out. DiBiase looked to hit Dream Street on Hunter, but HBK came in with Sweet Chin Music to the Legacy man, and HHH finished him with a Pedigree, putting him out with Cody. Punk downed HBK, but Cena came in and gave him the Attitude Adjustment over the top rope onto Legacy. This left Orton between a rock, a hard place and 2 other incredibly solid things. He looked in everyone's face before Taker grabbed him and gave him the Tombstone for the win. ---------- 8/10 - Fun, energetic match with everyone taking turns to do stuff. It could be argued that the heels should have gone over in some fashion to get heat ahead of the PPV, but since this was a "Very Special Episode", it called for the show to end on a happy note, so I have no beef at all with the babyfaces winning. At least it wasn't, say, Cena pinning Orton. It was a combination of 2 of the HIAC matches. ---------- The music of the winners circled round, allowing them to pose, as a bucketload of confetti dropped from above. It ended back on Taker's music once more, as the lights turned purple and he posed to end the show. Mid 2008 - Mid 2009 (If You Rock Like Me) OVERALL - 10/10 (+3 on last week) - OK, maybe I'm being very overly-generous, but hey, if I can't give a ten on the tenth anniversary, when can I? And to be fair, it was a great, fun show. The matches were energetic and fun on the whole, and for me, the party stuff was pitched just about perfectly. They did a lot with it at least, between bringing back Vickie and bringing in Eric Escobar, and continuing the Truth/McIntyre feud, but most of all, it was just a lot of fun. In realistic terms, this was a solid 8/8.5 in my book. A very worthy special episode which Smackdown isn't always treated to even when the occasion suggests it should be. And hey, at least it wasn't "RAW X", right? Aaron had had something of a better week than last week, although it still hasn't been tops, since it's become apparent that not only is my PC's graphics card dying, but also, it's really rather unlikely that I'll be able to hit New York this month like I wanted to. If I can, it'll be the end of the month. But at least nothing has actually blown up this week (touch wood) and indeed, I've picked up FIFA 10 and the Uncharted 2 Online Multiplayer Beta for the PS3. You can find him either on Facebook, MySpace(myspace.com/aaron24wood), or on Twitter(twitter.com/aaron24wood). And don't forget to check out the ClubWWI Twitter feed while you're there. Or if you're into gaming, Aaron's Playstation Network screen name is, you guessed it, aaron24wood as well!
Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on...
Lance
Cade D-Ray
3000 Bobby
Eaton Manny
Fernandez Greg Gagne Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Harley
Race Dave Taylor
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