Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Punk's Tried And Tested Winning Method
By Aaron Wood
Oct 9, 2009 - 5:52 PM

undefined undefined undefined undefined Hello my Gathering.  Hope this all find you well.  It's time we kick off the second decade of Smackdown after Undertaker's title win at Hell In A Cell.  Of course, as a little bit of housekeeping, about 30 milliseconds after Smackdown aired in the US, it was revealed that the new Smackdown theme was from a Californian band, Divide The Day, the track being called "Let It Roll".  It sounds remarkably like this...


Divide The Day - Let It Roll

Now, in terms of a "theme" for this week, I was feeling rather uninspired until my ticket arrived for a gig later in the month for a band called The Dead Weather, which primarily featured Allison Mosshart and Jack White.  So for the hell of it, I've got a few live videos of various Jack White projects!  You know, just to get me in the mood for the genius that is Jack White.

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:  We had some VINTAGE~! Michael Cole, The Rock talked about bowel movements, Randy Orton had nowhere else to go and the birthday cake was inevitably destroyed...

THIS WEEK…
We kick off this week with a recap of Taker's title win in the HIAC curtain-jerker.  After the credits, and while I can't exactly remember last week's match graphics, as JR and the legend that is Todd Grisham ran down the various parts to the show, I was struck by the greatness of them, which seemed to combine hexagons and DNA.  Also, the Smackdown logo still has the X on it from last week, so I'm guessing it'll be a year-long thing, that is to say for the whole of Smackdown's 10th year.

Good thing Teddy would welcome Cena to Smackdown.  Didn't want him thinking that ECW was his only option...
We hit the arena where TONY THE CHIM~! returned to Smackdown as he announced Teddy Long, who was in the ring, and immediately got around to verbally fellating The Undertaker, congratulating him on his title win.  Teddy said that Taker's win cemented Smackdown's position as the dominant brand in the WWE.  Don't ask me how, he didn't say.  Anyway, upcoming was another new PPV called Bragging Rights.  Long got around to promoting RAW's main event for that show under the pretence of saying Smackdown would be welcoming to John Cena (or as Teddy said, "Cener") should he be a loser.

However, just as he was going to shut up about the apparent lesser brand's main match, CM Punk made his way out to the ring with a slight limp.  Punk took exception to the utterance to John Cena, since he was a RAW guy.  Smackdown didn't need Cena.  It needed focus from the GM, and it should be focused on him.  And watch your mouth if you're talking about his World Title.  And if you're naming a Number 1 contender, there should only be one name in you mind, Thaddeus.  As the only Straight Edge champion in WWE history, he has a guaranteed rematch.  Damn, it's bad enough he's facing Batista in this dump.  He's only 5 days removed from the toughest match of his career!  And when he had his rematch with Taker, there wouldn't be any stips.  He wanted Taker, in a submission match, and he wanted Scott Armstrong as the referee and he wanted Teddy at ringside.

Teddy was about to jaw jack back at Punk when Vince McMahon strutted his way out.  He shook Punk's hand and grabbed a mic.  Vince waited for Teddy to introduce him properly before saying that he tried to support Teddy, but his patience is wearing thin.  And he didn't like what he was about to announce.  You see, what Long was about to announce isn't going to please Punk, or the new champion, Undertaker.  And hell Teddy, why do you keep provoking Undertaker?  Anyway, what our GM was about to announce, at the PPV, the title would be up for grabs, but not in a single competition.  Long was having the title defended against CM Punk, Rey Mysterio and Batista in a Fatal Four Way match.  Teddy looked as if he had no idea about it, let alone about to announce it, but Vince wanted the show to get on the road.  Hey, where's that midget Mexican dude?

Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho in a "What?  THIS again???  Hang on, that's actually a good thing..." match
Rey's music hit as Punk had words with Teddy in the ring.  Vince & Rey shook hands at ringside.  Punk remained in the ring as Rey got in, to stare a hole in him before leaving.  We came back for Jericho's entrance, as he came out all alone, and we saw some pictures of the tag title match on Sunday as Big Show put Rey Rey on his ass.  Jericho shoved Rey down on a lock up.  Rey came back with an armdrag and monkey flip, sending Jericho out the ring, but Rey left as well and jumped on Jericho.  Back in the ring, Jericho knocked Mysterio down and hit a couple of kicks to the back.  Standing suplex by Jericho scored a 1 count.  Man, that Air Con is LOUD tonight.  Rey was put in the corner, where Jericho whipped him across, but Rey got the boots up and hit a tilt-a-whirl headscissors.  However, Jericho came back with a flapjack and dropkick.  Mysterio was given a slingshot into the ropes, before being tossed to the outside as we took another break.

Mysterio was in a cobra clutch-like hold on the mat, but Rey got up and elbowed up before getting a schoolboy for 2.  Jericho hit an enziguri for a 2 count.  Rey Rey was dumped on the top rope and tossed over to the floor.  Rey was rolled back in and Jericho hit a slingshot splash for a 2 count.  Rey was put up top, with Jericho clubbing the back.  Jericho ripped at Rey's mask once again, but Rey was able to knock him off and he hit a seated senton and springboard crossbody off the middle rope for a 2 count.  Rey rolled through a sunset flip with a dropkick for 2.  Jericho was dropped into 619 position, but Jericho saw it coming and grabbed the legs.  The Walls was countered with an inside cradle for a 2 count.  Jericho hit a Shock Treatment-like backbreaker for a 2 count.  Jericho looked for the bulldog, but Rey countered by shoving off and then getting Jericho in 619 position again.  Jericho was too quick though, but Rey ducked a shot and came off the ropes.  However, his crossbody was caught, and Jericho was able to lock in the Walls Of Jericho this time.  Rey was able to roll back under, and he kicked Jericho off into 619 position, hitting it this time, following with a splash off the middle of the top rope for the three count.

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8/10 - These two can do no real wrong, pure and simple.  Another really good match in an un-ending series of them
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We took a look at the press that BIG BEN~! Roethlisberger (Did NOT use spell check or anything.  I'm that much of a fan!) garnered for his appearance on RAW on Monday night.

Shouldn't the guys hosting Word Up be able to think of at least 2 adjectives beginning with E?
We joined Cryme Tyme for another edition of Word Up.  Eve jumped in for today's word, but the Dial Tone G's (because they're "off the hook"...their joke, not mine) had their own word in mind.  Eve!  E for Exquisite, V for Vivacious and E for...um...uh...  Eve decided that the E was for Exit, because she had a match.  So Eve wasn't so much a word as something of an acronym...


Dead Weather - Treat Me Like Your Mother

Michelle McCool def. Eve in a "At least it's not Melina again..." non-title match
As Eve came note, JR noted she had a degree in Industrial Engineering.  Christ, I was in the Music & Drama department, which also had the Fashion department, at University, and I can only think of one or two women that came as close to being as hot as Eve, as she's a freakin' geek???  Jesus H. Christ...  The women locked up and ended up in the corner, where Michelle got the upper hand, but Eve switched and got her own shots in.  The exchanged more blows on the mat before Michelle took a powder.  Eve caught Michelle on her way back in and picked up a 2 count.  However, Eve was dumped into the corner and hit with a running knee for a 2 count.

McCool hit a bunch of knee drops (using the knee with the brace on it) and then a leg drop.  She put on a chinlock using Eve's arm, pushing her back and forth.  Eve was able to get out and hit a pair of dropkicks and forward-roll senton for a 2 count.  She went for a handspring back elbow, but Michelle got the boot up.  Michelle went for a suplex, but Eve countered with a cradle for 2.  Michelle ducked a clothesline and hit a big boot for the win.

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5.5/10 - Decent enough, but pretty short.
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To be fair, it was Vince who announced the match, Vickie...
We came back to see Vickie Guerrero & Eric Escobar on the couch in Teddy Long's office when he walked in.  She was angered that Eric wasn't on the show this week after being introduced last week.  Hey, Drew ended up waiting a month or so!  She also though that Teddy was being unfair to CM Punk, since he didn't get his one on one rematch.  Hell, Teddy, you're being unfair to Taker because he doesn't need to be pinned to lose his title!  Seriously dude, why annoy Taker like this?  Teddy was about to blame Vinny Mac, but the love of Edge's Eric's life (Seriously, Eddie, Edge, Eric, what's with this woman and guy's whose name begin with E?) cut him off.  Escobar said something in Spanish before he started mooching on Vickie's arm.  Before leaving, Vickie felt the need to remind Teddy he was still under probation.  Someone's fishing for their job back...

John Morrison def. Dolph Ziggler in a "C'mon now, that's what?  SIX times he's lost a title match?" match to retain the Intercontinental Title
Morrison headed out first, followed by Ziggler as we took a break.  We came back, for the opening bell.  Ziggler went for a leg, but Morrison blocked.  However, Ziggler took Morrison down for a pin, but no count.  Ziggler put on a chinlock, but Morrison was up quick and he took Dolph down for a 1 count.  Ziggler got a fireman's carry takeover for a quick 2 count before he locked on a chinlock again, before floating over for a 1 count.  Morrison took Ziggler over, grabbing an arm.  Ziggler clubbed Morrison, but Johnny ducked a shot and hit a dropkick.  That scored a 1 count.  Morrison with the side headlock takeover.  Ziggler got out and look for a neckbreaker, but Morrison blocked it, hitting one of his own followed with a Russian legsweep and the break dancing leg drop.  We saw Maria running down.  In case you forgot, as I did for a few moments, Maria was there to cheer on her boyfriend Dolph.  Seriously, I forgot.  Well, outside of that cameraphone angle a few weeks back, when was the last time you thought of them as a couple?  Anyway, Maria took a seat when Lil' Naitch told her to.

Meanwhile, Morrison hit the "Pele" kick, as JR calls it, but really is just another wacky breakdancing kick.  However, Ziggler pulled him into the corner before hitting a German suplex with a bridge for a 2 count.  Morrison was whipped into the corner and Dolph hit a Stinger Splash for another 2 count.  Ziggler rammed Morrison's head into the mat a few times before hitting the leaping elbow drop for a 2 count.  Ziggler locked on a chinlock.  He began to fight his way out of it, but Ziggler took him down again.  He stomped away in the corner, but Morrison came back with shots of his own.  Mr. Ziggles came right back with a powerslam for a 2 count though, the 2 count mu8ch to Dolph's chagrin.  Ziggler put on an armbar, before changing up to a chinlock.  However, Morrison stood up and hit an Electric Chair on Ziggler.

Morrison blocked shots and hit his own, as he began to build momentum.  He hit a jumping heel kick before following with the Standing SSP for a 2 count.  Morrison hit a crossbody that sent both men out of the ring.  Ziggler rammed Morrison into the side of the ring before rolling him back in.  Ziggler grabbed Maria's chair and put it at the side of the ring.  However, when he got back in, and worked on Morrison in the corner, Maria took the chair and sat on it as she had just done.  Ziggler was whipped into the ropes, but he dropkicked Morrison in the knees.  Ziggler went looking for the chair he had left, but saw Maria was now sitting on it.  As he had to give up his apparent plan of getting disqualified, He got up just as Morrison launched himself off the ropes to nail the Flying Chuck for the win.

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8/10 - Another really good match, although while I get what it was looking to later achieve (i.e. Ziggler dumping Maria), I don't get the internal logic of Ziggler wanting to use the chair in a title match where he'd end up DQ'ed for doing so.  But hey, I'm not going to be that pissy about it.
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White Stripes - Icky Thump

We cut to Todd & JR as they talked Taker, sending it to a video profiling Undertaker's seven World Title wins.  Pretty cool video, actually.

Did you forget they were still going out?  Well, don't worry about forgetting anymore...
We took a look at the finish of the Ziggler/Morrison match from a few moments ago (quite literally in my case) as we then cut to backstage where Maria was trying to get Dolph to talk to her.  Dolph stopped and said he had a professional life and a personal life, and he thought she could differentiate between them.  Maria thought they were a team.  Dolph said he didn't know about his personal life, but in his professional life, he saw a big future for himself, before saying in his personal life, he didn't see her, leaving her to start crying with her big cow eyes.  Maybe Zah does finally have a crack at her once more???

Yeah, they're not gonna be cool, are they?
We cut backstage to see Rey lounging when Batista walked in.  Rey said he hoped he hadn't let Batista by jumping into Big Show's fist at the PPV.  Batista said they were a team, win or lose.  And hey, Rey won tonight and he would win tonight.  And then at Bragging Rights, Rey would be around to see him win the title again.  Rey said he wanted to win too.  They shared a laugh and hugged.  Rey said it'd be cool either way (I think, he pretty much mumbled the end to the point of incomprehension.  But suffice to say, if Batista is actually turning, I think it finally starts here...

Drew McIntyre & Kane def. R-Truth & Matt Hardy in a "Yay!  A match Drew's in where it's spot on the card won't see it just die on it's ass!" match
Truth made his way out first, with his rap.  He was soon joined by his brother from another Northern Cackalacky mother, Matt Hardy.  JR said we wouldn't believe the team they were facing, but we'd find out after the break.  Now think of the most unlikely team they'd be facing (and thusly, the most unbelievable team).  Did you have Drew McIntyre & Kane written down?  No?  What a surprise.

Anyway, Drew and Hardy started off, with Hardy grabbing a hammerlock, although they traded a couple of counters.  Hardy avoided a corner charge and continued to work the arm before tagging R-Truth.  Truth got some shots in, but McIntyre came back and grabbed a side headlock, but Kane tagged in as Truth shoved off, and he put Truth on his back.  Kane took Truth into the corner where he pounded him.  He snapmared Truth over and hit as low dropkick for a 2 count.  McIntyre came back in and hit a snap suplex for a 2 count.  Kane came back in again and he whipped Truth into the corner, although Truth blocked the side slam and downed Kane.  Drew tagged in, but so did Matt Hardy.  Hardy ducked a boot and took the discus punch and a clothesline.  He hit a dropkick and then squashed Drew in the ropes.  He followed with the second rope elbow to the back of the head and the Side Effect for a 2 count as Kane broke the pin.  Truth took Kane out of it, but Drew downed Truth.  Hardy grabbed Drew and was about to finish, but Drew shoved Matt off into a Kane uppercut, laving Hardy prone for the Double Arm DDT for the pin.

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6/10 - Decent enough, but again, short.
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McIntyre taunted Truth as he checked on Matt, before they pimped Taker's promo again.

The Undertaker talks about taking souls.  The world keeps spinning...
We returned to The Undertaker's entrance.  After taking in some cheers, Taker declared he was the reaper of wayward souls and World Champion.  And this (the belt) was the holy grail of everyone who stepped in the ring, and that's why it was important he had it.  As every soul that would stray from crossing the path of The Undertaker.  But now consumed by the lust of fortune and fame, the recognition the title brought would lead them down a sorry road, because that road ended in his yard.  for them, it would be a graveyard.  On Oct. 25th, 3 men would tempt fate on a new battleground, namely Bragging Rights.  CM Punk...  Punk escaped the cell in one piece, more or less.  All he lost was his title, but at the PPV he would take Punk's soul.  Rey Mysterio...  His heart was legendary and courage unquestionable, but he would be shown no mercy.  Batista...  Their battles in the past were epic, but even his strength and rage wouldn't be enough to save his soul.  It was appropriate the match was called Fatal Four Way as one by one, they would fall beneath the shadow of The Undertaker.  They would all Rest In Peace.


The Raconteurs - Consoler Of The Lonely

CM Punk def. Batista by countout in a "When is a win not a win?" match
We returned to the show for Batista's entrance.  We saw the graphic for the Smackdown main event.  In a nice touch, since the PPV is being sponsored by the next Computer game (which in itself is a clever touch since it's a Smackdown vs. RAW PPV), rather than any video of the guys themselves, the graphic showed a clip of them in the game.  The bell rang and Punk immediately ducked outside.  Batista grabbed Punk, but it ended up in the ropes.  Punk came back with shots, but Batista reversed a whip and squashed him in the corner.  Punk caught himself off a whip though and he ducked out the ring to recover.

When Punk came back in, he was downed again, but he slipped out to the apron, and hung Batista off the top.  However his springboard back in saw him jump into a kick.  Batista looked to finish, but Punk slipped out of that and out of the ring as we left.  We picked it up with Batista still in control, hitting a suplex for a 2 count.  Batista took Punk into the corner where he put some shots in.  Punk ducked a clothesline and hit some ducks, but Batista caught the one aimed for his head and turned it into an ankle lock, although Punk scrambled to the edge of the ring, slipping out when Batista broke the hold.  Punk caught Batista coming back into the ring, hitting a flying knee.  He aimed elbows to the shoulder joint before hitting a leg drop to the back of the head for a 2 count.

Punk locked in a chinlock, but Batista got up and snapmared out of it, although he was soon caught with a neckbreaker for a 2 count.  Punk locked in a Figure Four neck lock.  However, Batista was able to prise them apart.  another neckbreaker was countered and Batista hit a Bossman slam to put them both down.  Batista dumped Punk into the corner, driving in shoulders before clubbing Punk down.  Punk looked to hit a crossbody, but Batista caught him and slammed him down for a 2 count.  Punk side-stepped a charge into the corner, before hitting the high knee, although Batista shoved out the bulldog.  Punk kicked Batista back into the corner and went for the knee again, but Batista grabbed him out of the corner and hit the spinebuster.

Punk rolled out the ring as Dave shook the ropes.  Batista joined him as Punk tried to escape under the ring.  Batista looked for the powerbomb on the outside, but when he took Punk up, Punk grabbed the ropes.  Punk kicked Batista down and slipped in the ring just before the referee made the ten count.

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7/10 - A pretty good match, although it was, for a main event, fairly short, but I'm really not going to complain about that part of it because this was a really new match up which they could possibly sell on PPV at some time, so having a full and proper match here would have been folly, so really, it's relative length and the lack of decisive finish didn't bother me at all.
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Punk celebrated his victory for a short while, Batista slipped right back in the ring and hit the Batista Bomb.  The show ended with Batista looking annoyed with himself.

OVERALL - 7.5/10 (-2.5 on last week) - A pretty good show this week, which at least pushed the four-way for the World Title quite hard.  That said, I wonder about the wisdom of having a four-way match, because if all the winners are to then meet up in a later match, that's 2 people Smackdown aren't allowing themselves to possibly use.  I had somewhat hoped that we'd see Teddy play into the gimmick of the show and aim to win the "Bragging Rights" match, since RAW doesn't have any week-to-week organisational people, and indeed, one of RAW's team will have already wrestled for an hour.  So I'd have liked to have seen Long play tactics with a view to winning, but alas, the whole raison d'etre for the PPV is really an afterthought, and certainly on the Smackdown, won't have that much top talent.  Not that I'm totally complaining about that side of it since it means some midcarders might get a rub, but still, I'd have liked to have seen some nod to it being seen as important.  But still, this show, as a whole, was fine enough.