Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: B.F.F.s COLLIDE!
By Aaron Wood
Oct 16, 2009 - 5:44 PM

Hello may Gathering.  Because I have got TV shows to watch and Uncharted 2: Among Thieves to take out the box and add as a near-permanent fixture to my PS3, let's just crack on with the review huh, sprinkled with some videos of Scottish bands.  Why?  For the hell of it.  Remember, if there's anything you want me to use, drop me a line through the usual channels.

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:  Batista fell for CM Punk's trick like Undertaker had, Rey Mysterio and Chris Jericho teased us, Cryme Tyme needed help with acronyms and the world's most under-developed relationship just, well, ended...

THIS WEEK…
We start this week with a graphic acknowledging the sad passing of Captain Lou Albano.  I'd like to think there's be a little something on RAW, but I don't blame them for not having anything else here, just because of the time-constraints.

The opening credits are already updated to reflect the moves of Mickie James & Beth Phoenix to the show.  Boy, did Smackdown ever win big in that trade?

And here's another thing, because along the legend that is Todd Grisham, who introduced the main event of the BFF's Batista & Rey, we had...MICHAEL COLE!  VINTAGE~! Smackdown announcing!    If you weren't aware, JR finally got that night off he's always wanted to get (you may recall a few years ago he wanted one to go to a Football game that clashed with a live RAW).  That said, as far as I'm aware, next week, Todd will be away on honeymoon.  That said, while I'm one of the few on the planet who likes Michael Cole, I think it'd have made for more sense to put Matt Striker in that slot, given that Todd & Matt were on ECW while with Cole there, it's 2 PBP guys.  That said, it's only for one week, so it really doesn't f**king matter.

Good thing that weren't a hardback...
Teddy Long came out to the stage, to pimp Bragging Rights.  As well as the 2 main Title matches, there was going to be a 7 vs. 7 tag match with RAW and Smackdown squaring off to see who the better show was.  I'm guessing ECW was invited, but couldn't get 7 guys together, since there's no-one on that roster.  Anyway, Long said he wanted to uphold the show's history and ensure that Smackdown won.  But he had to make a tough decision to counter RAW's team, which he named, before introducing the captain of Smackdown, Chris Jericho.

Jericho came out and took Teddy's mic before heading to the ring, while Todd ribbed Cole about chundering on Jericho's shoes a couple of weeks ago.  Jericho said that after years of incompetence, he finally got one right and named him as captain of Smackdown.  But first, he had to address the chances of Cena returning.  When Randy beat Cena in the Ironman match, Johnny would be banished from RAW and he'd have to come back to Smackdown.  But Jericho said he was THE MAN around here and no-one had been more successful in the decade of Smackdown as him.  He had led the locker room and was the cornerstone of Smackdown.  He was the reason the parasite fans were in the building tonight.  And as the head of Team Smackdown, he had to put together a team that would do as he said and lead them to the promised land.

RAW was being led by two delinquents known as DX.  Jericho held up their new book, noting they were more interested in pandering to the people and hawking their crap.  To show what he thought of DX, he ripped the book up.  What he did to the book, he'd do to DX at Bragging Rights.  He would open our eyes...

Only to be blinded by Kane's pyro!  Kane got in the ring and on the mic and said " Your Team?"  He said they needed to talk, and he wanted to tell Jericho he was the co-captain of the Smackdown 7.  Jericho, who was looking worried, now looked relieved and said he was thinking the same thing.  He was about to announce it!  Combine Kane's strength and his genius, they were unstoppable.  Kane said that like the book, DX and Team RAW could go up in flames, before setting off his ringpost pyro.


Biffy Clyro - The Captain

We came back from the break to Nancy O'Dell, who was pimping out her charitable cause.  Short video though.

Snoop D-O-Double Gizzle Fo' Shizzle is Guest Hizzle next Mizzle on Rizzle.

Dolph Ziggler def. Finlay & Mike Knox in a "What HHH can do, Chris Jericho can do too.  That is to say, book 3-way matches for one spot." Triple Threat match to join Team Smackdown at Bragging Rights
I mean, seriously.  You take 3 potentially great additions to your team and put them all in one match for one spot.  Finlay came out first, followed by Mike Knox, and they were rounded out by the newly Apprentice-less Dolph Ziggler.  Yeah, Maria's on the next season of Celebrity Apprentice (hence the bizarrely sudden break up last week).  Ziggler looked to make friends at the bell, but Knox clotheslined him.  Finlay dumped Knox out and went to work on Finlay.  Ziggler came back and clotheslined Finlay out.  However, he climbed onto the apron, waiting for Finlay so he could hit a move, but Knox knocked him off.  Knox was climbing out, but Finlay tripped him (giving Knox a bad looking landing).  As Finlay rammed Knox's head, Ziggler hit Finlay with a dropkick, before getting Knox in the ring for a 2 count.

Ziggler hit the leaping elbow drop, but Finlay broke the pin and scored a long 1 count of his own.  Finlay went back and forth laying shots into his opponents.  Scoop slam scored Finlay a 2 count.  Finlay looked for a superplex, but Knox cut him off and hit an Electric Chair.  This allowed Ziggler to hit a top rope splash on Finlay for a 2 count.  Knox broke that up though, and he went to work on Mr. Ziggles.  Knox picked up 2 counts on his opponents, but after Finlay kicked out, Ziggler hit Knox with a Fameasser for a 2 count that Finlay broke.  Finlay laid in shots to Dolph, but Dolph fired back with a dropkick for a 2 count.  Finlay blocked a corner charge and hit the "Rolling Thunder".  He then hit the same move on Knox.  However, Knox picked up and dumped Finlay in the corner.  Ziggler ran in and hit a Stinger Splash, but Knox ran in and squashed him before hitting a bicycle kick.  However, as Knox went to hit Finlay with the crossbody, Finlay hit a shillelagh shot.  Ziggler broke up the pin, dumped Finlay out and pinned Knox for the win.

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6.5/10 - Decent enough match from a group of guys who have had good ones before.  As with the RAW qualifying matches though, these are also going to be much shorter than they usually should.
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Still to come...a old friend comes back.


The Beta Band - Human Being

Cryme Tyme def. The Hart Dynasty in a "Well, Jericho isn't getting any Canadian brethren on his team..." match to join Team Smackdown at Bragging Rights
Cryme Tyme came out first, followed by the Harts, giving Shoelace the chance to use Nattie to talk about the Divas trade.  DH Smith and Shad started things off, with DH Knocking JTG off the apron as a distraction.  The Harts worked Shad's legs as we saw Teddy Long and Jericho watching on a monitor.  Smith continued working Shad's left leg, using various holds, before ending up with an ankle lock.  Very f**ker is using that these days.  However, when Smith let go, he missed an elbow drop, allowing Shad to tag in JTG, who met with Tyson Kidd, who tagged in.  JTG hit the Mug Shot for a 2 count.  Smith distracted JTG, allowing Kidd to roll him up, but JTG kicked out, sending Tyson into DH, knocking him off the apron.  Shad took out Smith.  Tyson blocked JTG with a crucifix pin for a 2 count.  Tyson snapped JTG's neck off the top, but Shad distracted Tyson long enough for JTG to duck under Tyson's eventual springboard leap.  JTG then hit the Shout Out for the win.

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6/10 - Again, really too short to mean much on it's own, but was OK enough while it lasted.
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What's the betting that, in the end, we still end up with Michelle vs. Melina???  I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM IT!
We returned to the backstage area as Jericho was talking to Michelle McCool, with Teddy in the room.  Jericho said as captain of the Smackdown team (although Teddy reminded Jericho he was now the co-captain), everyone needed to understand how important the PPV was.  There was going to be three RAW vs. Smackdown matches, and they needed to win 2.  Jericho said he needed a bunch of vagabonds and warriors for Team Smackdown.  Thing is, he couldn't count on John Morrison to beat The Miz.  So, he wanted to know he could count of Michelle.  Michelle said he was the best at what he did, but she made history, and she could beat any Diva on any show in any match at any time.

Speaking about any divas, Mickie James rocked up and said hello to Teddy Long and she was excited to be traded to Smackdown (by the way, she wasn't really, and that actually came across here).  Mickie told Jericho if he wanted someone to beat the RAW Divas, he should choose someone who had beaten them all.  Michelle took exception and went to leave, but she walked into Beth Phoenix, who told her she wouldn't be holding onto the title for long.


Franz Ferdinand - L. Wells

Is Smackdown in Montreal next week or something?
We cut to Vince McMahon on the phone when CM Punk walked up.  He wasn't feeling the four way at Bragging Rights.  Vince agreed, saying Long was still on probation.  Punk wanted something done about it.  Vince said he liked the idea Punk had with the same match as Montreal.  Punk suggested he call off the four way, but Vince said it had been set and advertised.  However, how about this?  Punk vs. Taker, in a submission match, with Scott Armstrong as referee, with Teddy Long at ringside, NEXT WEEK on Smackdown!  Punk was happy about this and the pair shook hands before leaving Vince to continue his phone call.

Advert pimping the fact there's 22 days until Wrestlemania tickets go on sale.  In a nearly-unrelated note, it's also 22 days until my birthday!  Pretty cool song they used too.  Sounds like that Kevin Rudolf guy, if I had to take a guess, since it sounded pretty much like his other track.


Idlewild - Modern Way of Letting Go

TONY THE CHIM~! introduced the next match, but first had to welcome Vickie Guerrero.  And it was like she had never been away.  She gave it the "Excuse me!" line to THUNDEROUS boos.  She introduced her new boyfriend, Eric Escobar.  He came out and she made him kiss her hand before he got in the ring.

Eric Escobar def. Matt Hardy in a "Well, at least Drew's debut was on PPV, meaning people had to pay to see it..." match to join Team Smackdown at Bragging Rights
Loud "Hardy" chants as the bell rang here.  Hardy with a side headlock, but Escobar pushed off.  Hardy scored a couple of quick counts before grabbing the headlock again.  Hardy had a whip reversed and Escobar knocked him down and laid in some shots for a 2 count.  Big uppercut scored another 2 count for Escobar.  Eric worked a headlock before hitting a scoop slam, although a senton missed.  Hardy hit the Side Effect for a 2 count.  Hardy went up to the second rope and hit the elbow to the back of the head.  However, at this, Vickie got on the apron and screamed about hurting her ankle, taking the referee and distracting Hardy long enough for Escobar to send Hardy though the corner into the ringpost before rolling him up with a handful of tights for the pin.

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6/10 - Short, but decent.  They were VERY shrewd in putting Vickie with Escobar, because while he's a decent enough wrestler, he's no great shakes.  Didn't exactly blow any minds here, even if he had been given a chance to.  For me, he's missing an "X" factor to put him over the top.  It'll be interesting to see how he progresses.
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Primal Scream - Shoot Speed, Kill Light

I hope Marty isn't watching...
Yes everyone, as Howard Finkel's dulcet tones announced, it was time for THE DSIRT SHEET~!  IT'S BACK BABY!  The Miz came out first as Cole sighed about having to cheer for the Miz at the PPV.  The ring was pretty cool too.  The mat was half-red, half-blue and had some portable lighting tracks set up.  The next 12 minutes was too awesome for words.  Morrison introduced himself before noticing that The Miz had a title.  Miz talked about Bragging Rights before Morrison jumped in, noting they would also see who was the better man in one of the WWE's best ever tag teams.  Miz said everyone knew he was the star of the tag team.  And over the years, pairs have broken up with one of them going onto fame and fortune and the other, not so much.  Mork & Mindy.  Robin Williams and whatshername?  Bill & Ted.  One cracked the Matrix and the other the employment line.  Wayne & Garth.  Regis & Cathy Lee.  And hell, who could forget The Rockers???  When they broke up, Shawn Michaels went onto became SHAWN MICHAELS~!, while Marty Jannetty went onto become well...Marty Jannetty.  Miz said Morrison was the Marty of the pair.  Morrison said that Marty never had sweet merchandise like his shirt (which he showed off), where's Miz's shirt?  The continued to argue about who was the Marty Jannetty of the pair.  Morrison said Miz would make a great tag team with him.  Marty Jannetty and Mizzy Jannetty.

Morrison said Miz hadn't changed.  All he's done is conformed.  He had the hat and scarf and such with the conviction of being himself.  But now he was some strange mix of Michael Phelps, Mr. Ed, Punk and Big Dick Johnson...  Put that together and you get, The Miz.  Miz said he had great hair and the women loved his pearly white teeth.  Miz said he also looked good in trunks, although Morrison called him "husky".  The crowd agreed, but Miz said they were all jealous.  And at the PPV, he would prove that he was better than Morrison.  Morrison asked him to prove it now.  However, Miz said he wasn't gonna do that in this second-rate city, second-rate state and second-rate show.  He'd do it at the PPV.  Morrison asked if he thought Smackdown was the second-rate show, which Miz confirmed he did.  Morrison said RAW was a cheap version of Saturday Night Live, so if we wanted to tune in to see Al Sharpton and Nancy O'Dell, go nuts.  Who's on next week?  Big Bird (that would actually be awesome...)?  Morrison said if you wanted to see action, entertainment and the Friday Night Delight, you tune into Smackdown.

Morrison called Miz boring, but Miz said he was the most charismatic person in the WWE.  He said he carried Morrison for 2 years because he was The Miz and He Was Awesome.  Morrison said all he did was run his mouth.  For 2 years, all he heard was Miz talk, but this was Smackdown and he wasn't gonna listen to Miz, he wanted him to get up and do something.  He shoved Miz off of his chair, leading to a face to face.  Morrison dared Miz to take a shot, but Mizward backed out of the ring and up the ramp.  Morrison said that's what he thought and he would see Jannetty at Bragging Rights.

We went to a vignette about the Drew McIntyre/R-Truth feud before the break.



Gotta remember I have that...

Drew McIntyre def. R-Truth by Countout in a "If Escobar's getting in, you know, sure as hell, Drew's getting in..." match to join Team Smackdown at Bragging Rights
Truth got the upper hand early, taking Drew into the corner for some shots.  Drew got a side headlock, but was shoved off and hit with a hiptoss.  Truth then dropkicked McIntyre out of the ring.  Truth pescadoed over the top rope as we took a break.  We returned with Drew on top, almost literally, with a chinlock.  We saw that during the break, Truth was sent into the steps.  Truth fought out and then sent Drew out of the ring. Truth went out and rolled Drew back in, and he rammed Drew's head into the turnbuckle.  However, McIntyre sent Truth into the ringpost before pulling him back in the ring for a 2 count.  He went back to the chinlock as we saw Long and Jericho again discussing things.  Truth got back to his feet, but McIntyre his a scoop slam.  McIntyre headed to the middle rope, but he jumped off into Truth's feet.

Truth avoided a corner charge and laid in some shots.  Truth began to build momentum, hitting a jumping heel kick for a 2 count.  The Axe Kick was avoided, but Truth drove McIntyre into the corner to block the Double-Arm DDT.  Drew was clotheslined out of the ring, and Truth climbed out to join him.  However, as he stepped on the steel steps, Drew chop blocked him and Truth landed back-first right on the edge of the steps in a bump that had to have sucked bad for Ronald Killings.  This led to McIntyre rolling back in the ring,  whereas Truth had no chance of making it back in, giving McIntyre the win.

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6/10 - Sing it if you know it.  Short, but decent.
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Batista has "Wrong" feelings about Rey???  Don't like the sound of that...
We went backstage to see Rey get ready as Batista walked in.  Batista was perturbed at having to face his "little brother".  Rey joked that Batista was scared and that brothers fight all the time.  Batista said tonight was one thing, but at the PPV, it was for the title, and what happened happens.  Batista asked if Rey was ready for Punk and Taker, but Rey noted he had been champion before and he was planning on doing it again.  Rey then jokingly asked Batista to take it easy.

We came back to a vignette for Cena vs. Orton, which led to Todd and Cole talking that match and the 7 vs. 7 match, which led them to another video, this time regarding the controversy surrounding the Taker/Punk feud.

This led to a promo from Undertaker regarding  next week's match with Punk.  That in turn led to a pre-taped promo by The Undertaker.  You can pretty much guess what Taker was spraffing on about this week.  He said that some say history has a way of repeating itself, but not in his yard, and the three conspirators have decided to try and take the title from him, but if they went through with it, there would be no turning back.  He told Punk he'd take his soul at the PPV, but next week, it would be Punk's last rites.

Rey Mysterio def. Batista in a "Well, there's Batista's reason to snap..." match
Rey went for a waistlock off the bell and then went for a running crossbody, but Batista easily powered out every time.  Rey wrung the arm, but Batista pretty much mocked him.  Batista whipped him, sending Rey out the ring, but Rey ran right back in and stood, well, I can't exactly say tall, but you get what I'm pitching for, as we took a break.

We came back with Batista shoving Rey off an attempted collar and elbow.  Cole noted things had soured a little.  And indeed, Rey went for Batista's legs before tripping him, but Batista rolled out the way of the 619.  Annoyed at this, Batista went for Mysterio, but Rey flipped out a back suplex, although he ran into a big spear.  Rey rolled out the ring, but Batista didn't follow.  The referee made a count, but Rey just made it back in.  Batista made a quick cover for a pair of 2 counts.  Dave drove the shoulders into the gut in the corner, before looking slightly guilty at what he was going.  Batista knocked Rey down for another 2 count.  Batista locked in a reverse bearhug, but Rey managed to elbow his way out of it eventually.  He jumped into Batista's arms, but slid out looking for a sunset flip.  Batista picked him up, but Rey slipped out and chop blocked Batista.  Batista was kicked and hit with the 619.  Rey went for the West Coast Pop, but Dave caught him and powered him up.  However, Rey was able to take him over, and despite the fact Batista's shoulder was up, the ref didn't see it (he was on the other side), and he counted the three!

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6.5/10 - We couldn't even bank on the main event to get any length this week then, because this was short, but pretty good (or at least interesting) for the time it had.  I mean, if Batista does ever finally turn heel again (and I've been waiting a LONG time for it to happen, because unlike John Cena, there are no over-riding factors stopping Batista from being a bad guy), I think that this match right here is the genesis of that happening.  The first dot on the graph.
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Batista got in the referee's face to argue the decision, but shook Rey's hand and hugged him before raising his hand.  Batista gave Rey the ring and headed up to the stage during replays.  As Batista clapped for his friend, we saw Punk grab Rey out of the corner to hit the Go To Sleep, prompting Batista to run back down, but Punk fled through the crowd.  However, the show ended up Batista picking Rey and hugging him.

OVERALL - 7/10 (-0.5 on last week) - A decent enough show, although it was full of short matches tonight, although I can rationalise why since they wanted to name the full Smackdown team tonight, just like RAW suffered in the same way on Monday.  At least none of them were bad, which works for me.  Beyond that, I think they pushed the PPV really well.  It seems like they're making a little bit more effort for this show.  Pretty much everything on RAW was geared towards the PPV, as was everything here tonight, between the Qualifiers, the note that Michelle was going to be facing someone from RAW, to the great bit of banter that was The Dirt Sheet.  So it worked for me on that level.