Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: When Montreal Isn't Montreal
By Aaron Wood
Oct 23, 2009 - 7:06 PM

Hello my Gathering!  Unfortunately, I won't be able to do the real time for Bragging Rights this Sunday, and I was genuinely looking forward to it.  That said, I can say that RDLee will you (and me) covered this Sunday night.  That is to say if we can prise him off of his 360 and Svr2010 for long enough.  Indeed, I was so looking forward to it, I had this week's theme decided upon last week!  Given that Sunday is all about RAW vs. Smackdown, I decided that this week's video selections had to have an element of combat to them, and then I remembered about a style of music that hit the big time a few years ago and is still BIG in clubs, and indeed, the upcoming DJ Hero game is all about them.  Bootlegs aka Mashups.  You take one track and combine it with another, often by a very different artist/band.  This is one of the original big tunes:


The Strokes "Hard To Explain" vs. Christina Aguilera "Genie In A Bottle"

Unlike this video, most of these won't have an actual video, but it's all about the CHOONS~!

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:  IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE!

THIS WEEK…
We start this week with a video telling us of the World Title match tonight.  "Fool me once, shame on you" and all that.

And indeed, we hear the dulcet tones of..>RAW'S ANNOUNCE TEAM?!?!?!  Yep, that's right, Cole & Lawler, who explain themselves, as the first-real partnership in Smackdown's booth explain that Jim Ross was ill (and get well Jim).  NOT ONE WORD on The Legend That Is Todd Grisham.  NOT ONE WORD.  Suffice to say though, he's on honeymoon this week.  Would have been nice to give him a shout out though.  Now it just looks like he sucks.

Shad Gaspard had the right idea...I'd rather be sick than get booted off a PPV two days before...
Anyway, we kick off with Chris Jericho's music, sending us back to RAW when Team Smackdown invaded the show instead of having Jericho vs. HBK, only for Team RAW to back him up.  I've watched this before.  Hell, I did the real time!  Between you and me, Mallory should be back on Monday, so it's good to hear the charges were dropped.

Anyway, Jericho said that on Sunday, he would not only be seen as one half of the tag champs and the face of Smackdown but the leader of a crushing victory over Team RAW.  His greatness is omnipotent.  However, to make sure his team were ready, he felt like tweaking it a little.  He needed to know they were worthy.  And they'd prove their dominance at the PPV in the same way he and the poor-man's Big Show, Kane, would dominate Batista & Rey later.

JTG headed out to the ring.  He said he wasn't up for Jericho's manhandling.  Jericho wondered where Shad was, thinking he was in jail, but JTG noted he was ill.  Jericho scoffed at the idea Shad was sick, but what made Jericho sick was being on the same team as JTG.  Did the brutha' have any idea what it was like to live up to the standards of Chris Jericho?

EXCUSE ME!  Vickie headed out and introduced her boyfriend, Eric Escobar.  The pair headed down to the ring, before Eric took the mic.  He said he heard talk from DX saying they didn't know who he was.  This led to the crowd asking the same question.  Literally.  He said after he led the team to victory, we wouldn't forget the name of Eric Escobar.  Speaking of names you can't forget, Dolph Ziggler came out.  Mr. Ziggles said if anyone was going to be responsible for his team winning, it'd be him.  JTG jumped in and pointed out Dolph's run of bad luck in IC Titles matches.  And he dropped Maria.  Dude!  He should be called Dolph Loser...

Next up was the greatness that was Drew McIntyre.  He said Jericho shouldn't concern himself with losing, because Drew was the ace in the pack.  He was hand-picked and signed by Vinny Mac and is a future champion.  Hell, he should have been named captain!

And speaking of captains, out came the other co-captain, Kane.  Kane said , as far as he could give a flying Fornication Under Command (of the) King, none of you were worthy, so while the captains would be busy, the other four should be busy as well.  Jericho said that since one of the number called in sick already, then he doubted that.  it was going to be 5 on 5, but hey, if they're only 4 of you, then it's 4 on 5.  And if any of you lose, the WHOLE TEAM is replaced.  And it's next!

R-Truth, Matt Hardy, Finlay & The Hart Dynasty def. Drew McIntyre, Eric Escobar, JTG & Dolph Ziggler in a "What's the betting it changes again by Sunday?" match to become the rest of Team Smackdown
We came back to see Matt Hardy coming out and joining The Hart Dynasty and Finlay in the ring.  That left R-Truth to head to the ring and rap his way down.  F**k.  I've got to immediately check out his entrance on SvR once this show is done!  JTG and Tyson Kidd started things off.  He hit the leapfrog Fameasser for a 1 count.  Tyson tagged Finlay in and he went to work on JTG.  JTG came back and drove him into his corner, tagging in Ziggler.  Finlay stayed on top for his team though, driving a shoulder into Dolph's gut in the corner.  The Celtic Cross was blocked, but Finlay avoided a corner charge and Ziggler crashed and burn on the top of the ringpost before falling outside as we took a break.

We returned with Finlay caught in an Escobar chinlock.  Finlay armdragged out, but Eric stayed on top and he tagged in Drew McIntyre.  The Scotsman went to work on the Irishman.  We saw JeriKane watching on.  Ziggler tagged in and rolled Finlay up for 2.  The leaping elbow drop scored another near fall.  He put on a chinlock as Finlay tried to stretch for a tag.  McIntyre tagged in and helped cut Finlay off from tagging.  An elbow to the head got him a 2 count, as Ziggler tagged back in as they mentioned for the MILLIONTH time where Shad currently wasn't, while still not one word about Grisham.  However, Finlay got away from Ziggler and he tagged in Matt Hardy.  After a 2 count, Hardy hit a scoop slam and elbow to the back of the head for another deuce.

Hardy hit the Side Effect, but Escobar broke up the pin.  Finlay took him out.  JTG tagged in, and he hit the clothesline, but DH Smith broke that pin.  McIntyre got rid of the Harts, but Hardy got rid of him.  While DH took Escobar, Finlay hit JTG in the leg with the shillelagh, allowing Matt Hardy to hit the Twist Of Fate for the pin.

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7/10 - This was a decent enough match, besides the arseholic reasoning for having such a match in the first place.  So after seeing the teams on RAW, Vince decided Smackdown looked weak?  DIDN'T HE THINK OF THAT BEFOREHAND???  Granted, the new team is, on the whole better, but still, it's a real pisser for the likes of Ziggler and McIntyre.  That said, we can take solace in the fact that they lost as a unit and not individually was because Vince didn't want, at least, McIntyre and Escobar to lose matches, so he hasn't lost all confidence in them.  That said, if he hasn't, why not give them a rocket in their asses and a main eventing slot on PPV?
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As Team Smackdown v2.0 celebrated in the ring, we saw a replay of how they won.  Indeed, the new team were so united, we saw Natalya HUGGING Finlay.


Beastie Boys "Triple Trouble" vs. Franz Ferdinand "Take Me Out"

We cut backstage to see CM Punk and Scott Armstrong.  Scotty was upset about him ruining his and his families reputation.  Teddy appeared and said he was in probation and could lose his life.  Armstrong said his dad taught him a man is nothing without his good name, so see ya!  As he was leaving though, he opened to the door to reveal Vince McMahon.  He said they needed to talk.

John Morrison def. Mike Knox in a "Well, Marty Jannetty looks very different and is using a different name..." non-title match
Cole noted he thought Morrison's entrance was one of the coolest.  The man knows entrances.  Lawler was amazed at Morrison's ability to control the wind.  Personally, I'm more agog about him being able to slow down time.  We went back to RAW to see Miz beating Marty Jannetty.  Unfortunately, Morrison wasn't being paid the same compliment, as Mike Knox headed out.  He cut a promo about Abdominal trauma, saying that the liver collapses and bile gets into the blood stream causing shock.  Cole noted he saw Knox rocking back and forth muttering to himself.  Oh great...

Knox hit the crossbody early for a 2 count.  And indeed, Knox went to work on the abs of Morrison.  He put on an Abdominal Stretch, as Lawler again complained about having to support Miz.  Morrison got some shots in and hit a chop block.  He hit a jumping heel kick and then a running knee for a 2 count.  However, Morrison ran into a great big boot when Knox pushed out of the Moonlight Drive.  Morrison looked for the Crossbody again, but Morrison ducked and Morrison landed in the ropes.  This left Morrison open to hit Starship Pain for the win.

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6.5/10 - Very acceptable little match, but that's what it was.  Little.  I still say it would have been nice to see Marty again here, just for symmetry's sake.
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Morrison got on the mic and said Miz was trying to prove he was Shawn Michaels and not Marty Jannetty.  Morrison said he knew who he was, he was the Friday Night Delight and Intercontinental Champion, John Morrison.

After a break, we cut backstage to see the new Team Smackdown as their co-captains walked in, saying they did well, but expected them to follow their lead.  Truth said that they may not like them, but they did respect them.  Each of them got a shot to claim they were on the same page in wanting to beat RAW.  Jericho told them to watch as he and Kane beat down Batista and Rey.  Kane said "Good talk".


Depeche Mode "Just Can't Get Enough" vs. Black Eyed Peas "I Got A Feeling"

We then cut to Mickie James & Mae Young as they chatted when Michelle walked in.  She hugged Mae, but she wasn't as pleased to see Mickie.  Michelle sarcastically commiserated Mickie for not being on Team Smackdown.  Mickie said Michelle was scared of her, because she was better and would soon be Women's Champion.  Beth walked in and complimented Mae.  Beth told Michelle she was happy to be on the team, but then told Michelle she planned on taking her title.  Mae said Michelle "she told you..."  Michelle told Mae to shut up, so Mae slapped her.

Cole & Lawler talked about the end of the Rey/Batista match last week, which cut to them jokingly arguing about whether or not Dave's shoulders were up.  Rey mentioned how he and Dominic watched Dave's DVD in the week and was surprised about what they learned.  They teased each other about winning the title on Sunday.

Rey Mysterio & Batista def. Chris Jericho & Kane in a "Me thinks the RAW Co-Captains wouldn't have lost so easily...or at all..." match
This one kicked off with Batista and Jericho.  Jericho slapped Dave.  Dave killed Jericho.  Hard whip into the corner saw Rey tag in with a dropkick to the plums.  Rey with a legdrop for a near fall.  Jericho reversed a whip, but he ran into 619 position.  However, Kane pulled Mysterio out of the ring and dropped him on the outside as we hit the ads.

We came back to see things had changed as Kane was stretching Rey's back over his knee.  Jericho tagged in and booted Rey in the head after Kane hit a backbreaker.  Rey countered Jericho with the wheelbarrow bulldog, but Kane got a shot in on Batista when he tagged was tagged in before Rey could get there.  Jericho got some shots in on Rey while the ref's back was turned.  Kane hit a low dropkick to the seated Rey for a 2 count.  Jericho tagged in again with a delayed suplex, awesomely flexing while holding Rey.

Rey escaped a hold, and then blocked a corner charge.  Jericho countered with a powerbomb attempt, but Rey headscissored Jericho out of the ring.  Batista begged for the tag and got it as Kane came in the ring.  Running clothesline to Kane in the corner was followed by a shoulder tackle.  Spinebuster by Batista.  The looked to finish, but Jericho hit the enziguri.  However, Batista blocked the Codebreaker with a spinebuster.  Kane booted Batista and sent him into the ringpost shoulder-first.  Kane called to finish, but Rey ran in.  Kane chokeslammed Mysterio, but he turned into a spear for the win.

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7/10 - Fine enough tag match, that didn't feel like it stopped moving.  If I were to take a guess, the story here is that Rey took a bullet for Batista who was on the verge of losing, I suppose tying in with any heel turn with Batista saying he won the match by himself, or some such.
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Batista checked on his lil' buddy, and then he checked on Rey *rimshot*, as we saw replays.

We cut backstage to see a smiling Vince, and gleefully (and hysterically) happy Punk, a slumped Teddy Long and a distraught Scott Armstrong.  Vince said he was proud of Punk's accomplishments.  He gave Teddy a gold star for making the mach as well.  He said he could smell Autumn, as in the change in the year.  Thoughts usually turn to Wrestlemania.  What starts here usually ends at Mania.  He talked about the events that go on during the weekend.  Big family time.  He told Scott that Bullet Bob, Scott's daddy, was quite the guy and could be in the Hall Of Fame this year.  Vince told Scott to keep that in mind.  He asked them all if they were ready and they were, even Armstrong.


White Stripes "Icky Thump" vs. Led Zeppelin "Whole Lotta Love"

Mickie James def. Layla in a "Well, at least it's not Melina..." match
That said, given that she's currently the ONLY babyface woman on the show, I better get used to a whole load of Mickie matches.  Mickie came out, allowing the announcers to go over the women's match on the PPV, as they again noted how ill JR was, but, well, you guessed it.  Nowt on Todd.  Mickie was on top early, even when she was sent out the ring, as she tripped Layla.  However, as Mickie went up top, Layla pulled her down by her hair.  Layla rolled Mickie up for 2, but Mickie got one of her own.

As Cole reminisced about the old Thanksgiving food fights, Layla pawed at Mickie, only for Mickie to bitchslap Layla.  She fired up with forearms before hitting a neckbreaker for a 2 count.  Mickie ducked a high kick and hit the Thesz Press.  She then hit a kick to the head for the win.

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5/10 - OK enough, but it might have been interesting to see someone who was going to be on the PPV.
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Cole used Cyndi Lauper's "Girl's Just Want To Have Fun" to segue into the video that paid tribute to Capt. Lou Albano.  Once again, afterwards, we went to the break as the audience gave a standing ovation.

We came back to a replay of the AWESOME Cena/Orton feud retrospective.  Have to admit, I thought it sounded like a U2 song to begin with, but it's apparently a band called Civil Twilight.  Anyway, this led to in-ring pimpage by Cole & Lawler for Sunday.


Gorillaz "Feel Good Inc." vs. Limp Bizkit "Behind Blue Eyes"

CM Punk made his way out to the ring with Scott Armstrong and Teddy Long in tow.  He also had a microphone.  He said it made him feel unstoppable when he came out to a crowd he knew he could beat up, much in the same way that it made him feel unstoppable knowing he was about to make Taker tap again.  Punk said his Bragging Rights started tonight as he would again become champion.  And the best part was, there was nothing anyone could do about it.

The Undertaker def. CM Punk by Submission in a "Well, this wasn't filmed in Montreal, so no Screwjob this time..." Submission match
Punk was awesome in the ring, waiting for Undertaker to make his entrance, like he was a kid in a candy store.  Taker was back in his Ministry-overcoat tonight, and indeed, his goatee was, well, incredibly black tonight.  Someone got a job-lot on Grecian formula...

As he handed over the title to the referee, Taker GLARED at Armstrong.  Taker downed Punk with a right hand off the bat.  He worked Punk over in the corners before wringing the arm.  He hit a scoop slam, but missed an elbow drop.  Punk looked for the Anaconda Vice, but Taker slipped out before he could get it on.

Things were on the outside upon return, as Taker dumped Punk into the front row and then onto the announce desk.  Back in the ring, Punk suckered Taker in with a possible big boot, but Punk jumped off the apron, and Taker crashed into the ropes.  On the outside, Punk slammed Undertaker's head into the steps before whipping him into the steps, knees-first.  Punk stomped on Taker before rolling him back in.  Punk waited for a springboard in, but he jumped into a chokeslam attempt.  Punk kicked out, but Taker hit a right hand.  Punk put in more shots, but Taker traded blows back.  Taker hit a splash in the corner, following with Snake Eyes and a big boot.  He then hit the leg drop.  Taker looked to finish, but Punk rolled to the edge of the ring.  Taker wrung the arm and looked for Old School, but Teddy got out of his seat, and this distracted Taker for long enough to pull Taker off the corner.

Punk hit the high knee and bulldog.  Punk called for a chair, and a conflicted Long slowly rose and folded his chair up.  However, he didn't want to be the one handing it to Punk, so he gave it to Armstrong to hand over.  Punk grabbed it, but he ran into a boot in the corner.  Armstrong realised what was about to happen, since he officially supplied the weaponry.  So that was him chokeslammed.  Teddy headed to leave, but Taker stared him down.  However, he turned back into a bunch of chair shots by Punk.  Punk ordered Teddy to call for another referee before putting on the Anaconda Vice, laughing gloriously in doing so.  Mike Chioda ran out, but as he did that, Taker countered into Hell's Gate and a few seconds later, Punk was tapping.

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7.5/10 - Due to the relative time constraints, there wasn't as much match as you'd maybe expect, but again, this told a good story, with all of the players acting perfectly.
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Teddy held his head in his hands on the ramp at the result.  We saw some replays of the finish before the show ended with Taker standing tall in the ring and the RAW guys gave it one last plug for the PPV.

OVERALL - 7/10 (+/-0 on last week) - Decent enough show this week, with a lot of emphasis on the PPV, as it should, even if the changing of one of the main events was entirely wacky, and some would say interminably stupid at this stage.  But nothing sucked, as usual, and it did the right things for Sunday, so it's worth a pass.