Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: You Know The Survivor Series Elimination Match On Sunday? That...
By Aaron Wood Nov 18, 2011 - 6:25 PM
everyone. Busy yet incredibly dull day today for me. Car went in
for a service, which meant I had to schlub around town all day.
Given that most of the nearest cinema's screens were set aside for
constant showings of the latest piece of garbage known as Twilight,
my limited choice of flicks at the local 'plex saw me see The Rum
Diary. It was OK, but rather all over the place.
worn out from schlubbing round and the relatively late return of my
car, I didn't have much of an idea for a theme to this week's videos.
Because next week sees the start of the second annual "Top 30
songs I've listened to this year" chart, since there will only
be 6 Smackdown's left in 2011. So basically, I opened up iTunes onto
my main playlist, hit shuffle and the first five songs I could find
actual videos of, that's what you get this week.
WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: Alicia is more of a "ho" than
Aksana (in wrestling terms), Smackdown decides to show TNA how to
make a Latino group (i.e. no Canadians or 9/11 victims), Daniel Bryan
find that last week scores himself the women...and more beatings, Big
Show likes having three men at one time and Wade uses a Facebook
tactic to win.
Bryan...Official Inductee, I'd say... We
kicked off very differently this week, as we cold opened BACKSTAGE,
as Mark Henry was in the middle of kicking Daniel Bryan's ass,
violently ramming his head into a flight case as AJ and/or Kaitlyn
begged him not to before bringing him out into the arena and down to
the ring. Bryan got a couple of kicks in, but one was caught and
Bryan was shoved down. As Henry trash talked about Bryan showing him
disrespect, he picked Bryan up and gave him a backfist shot, followed
by a splash and then followed by The World's Strongest Slam. As some
referees came down to the ring, he gave Bryan another one in their
faces before they could get him out the ring.
Henry remained he got on the mic and said that man was in pain. And
he promised more where that came from. Big Show felt the pain, but
it clearly wasn't good enough, so he'd have to get more. He promised
at Survivor Series, one of them would get carried out of there, but
it wouldn't be him, as he'd be leaving Champion. A fresh way to open
the show. And I fail to see how Bryan was "buried" as Matt
Dawgs said in his column earlier. This was somewhat logical given
the last couple of weeks, and Bryan sure made Henry look awesome.
joined the announcers as Henry backed up the ramp, as Cole was still
in his sling from CM Punk's Anaconda Vice from Monday. They talked
about what Big Show's reaction might be, before pimping the main
Beta Band - "Human Being"
Ziggler def. Sin Cara in a "This would have been funny to have
Hunico schlub it out there and mock Sin Cara...OK, I'd think it'd
have been funny..." match Sin
Cara came out before the break, and after it, Vickie & Dolph were
already in the ring, as Vickie said that Dolph would compete in 2
matches, noting he was part of Team Barrett and that he'd defend the
title against John Morrison. I wonder, has any other man in history
on any other year, outside of any part of the Royal Rumble match,
done double duty on PPV twice in one calendar year? Ziggler was a
great heel early on, using his amateur skills to take down Sin Cara
and then bragging about it.
Cara hit the handspring back elbow, headscissors and then suicide
dive to the outside onto Ziggler. Ziggler caught Sin Cara coming
back in, before dropping the leaping elbow and kipping up. He tied
up the arm looking for a submission while driving his elbow into
Cara's shoulder. Sin Cara got back to his feet, and gave him a lucha
armdrag and head kick from the apron. Ziggler avoided the Swanton
Bomb before reversing a roll up with a handful of tights for the
pair had words afterwards, with Sin Cara giving Dolph a headscissors
and dropkick before stomping in the corner. Jack Swagger ran down to
the ring and took out Sin Cara with a big clothesline, before letting
Ziggler hit a Fameasser. Mason Ryan ran down, tossing Ziggler up in
the air. And I mean friggin' WAY UP in the air in some major hang
time. He checked on Sin Cara as we went to the break.
Ryan def. Jack Swagger in a "Swagger is the one with the lisp.
Mason just speaks Welsh..." match Back
from break, the match had already began. Ryan broke a waistlock and
drove Swagger into a corner, drove spearing into him in the opposite
one. Swagger slipped out of a powerslam and clipped the knee,
al;lowing him to hit the Vader Bomb onto Ryan's back. He pounded on
Mason in the corner before grabbing a reverse butterfly hold.
Swagger looked for a suplex, but Ryan reversed it. Swagger hit some
punches, but Ryan came back with clotheslines, before hitting a high
knee in the corner and a big boot. A powerslam picked up a 2 count
wanted the Full Nelson Slam, but Swagger got out of it and hit the
leg again. Ryan got out of the Powerbomb and managed to lock on the
Full Nelson, before hitting the Slam for the three count. He sure
may not be good in the ring, but he sure has hair to kill for...
the back, Justin Gabriel (remember him?) was with Alicia Fox. She
said he was dreamy. Zack Ryder appeared and asked them to sign his
petition, which they did. Big Show rocked up all happy and willing
to sign. Zack let Show know what happened in the first segment. As
Show pondered this, they noted Henry hadn't been seen since while
Bryan was with the trainers.
was cut from the version I saw, but there was a segment plugging WWE
12 with Ted DiBiase & Hornswoggle, which involved Teddy Long
bigging up DiBiase before Aksana walked in and they did handjob
jokes, since she was good with a joystick in her hand. Ba Boom, and
if you must, Tish...
him up like Shark Boy, I say! Christian
came out to the stage with his neckbrace from last week on as well as
a walking boot and crutch. He said 2 weeks ago, Big Show
chokeslammed him, causing a serious neck injury, but instead of
taking his injuries seriously, Teddy Long booked him against Sheamus.
He could have run away, but he fought like a man. He did it all
over Europe, and in doing so, he injured his ankle, showing a picture
of his badly swollen ankle. Christian said details were sketchy at
this point, but he wasn't at Survivor Series any more, but he'd
continue to support and inspire them. Why? Because he was special.
He made everyone better. Normally, he'd ask for one more match for
the World Title, but now, he was hoping he'd be able to have one more
match, period. Christian riled against the crowd and their lack of
respect to him. Did they even care he was injured? "NO!!!"
was the emphatic response. He said he wasn't a piece of meat, before
saying that there'd be consequences for Teddy Long but moreso he was
more embarrassed and ashamed by the fans, before telling them good
the way, as a complete aside, a word on Christian this year. There
was feedback to last week's review that I replied to suggesting that
I would look and see how many people Christian has faced this year.
I'm started that process, but can say one thing for absolute certain.
Christian has had 44 matches on TV and PPV this year, discounting
Battle Royals and the Rumble. Only 11 of them (25%) have NOT
featured, in some way or another Alberto Del Rio, Randy Orton or
Sheamus be it a singles match or one or more in a tag match. If you
add Mark Henry to that list, that's only 8 matches. I could go
deeper to the point where he'd have almost 0 matches left without one
of those four in them, but I haven't yet fully figured out those
stats. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that someone like Cena has
faced a million unique opponents this year, but I don't get the
crushing sense of deja vu when I watch a match up with Cena in it in
the same way that Christian has faced Sheamus a million times
went backstage to see Daniel Bryan on the doctor's table with AJ
standing over him. Then in a scene reminiscent of every war movie
ever, Big Show walked in and was all "This should never have
happened. It wouldn't have happened if I was there", before
vowing revenge on Henry. Thankfully, Bryan didn't die there and then
on the spot like he would have done had it been a film.
DiBiase def. Derrick Bateman in an "If Bateman and Maxine are
Batemax, then DiBiase is VHS, because he whooped them"
didn't get an entrance, but the pair got an inset promo as they said
they were bringing their love to Smackdown. That said, she wouldn't
let him kiss her, to his disappointment... Dibiase reversed a
hiptoss and then gave Bateman a dropkick. As Maxine distracted the
ref, Bateman dropped DiBiase on the top rope, allowing him to take
control. A neckbreaker picked up a 2 count as Josh & Cole talked
about NXT and how much it sucked, the women's season
fought out of a chinlock and started a comeback, hitting a front
dropkick, before hitting the misdirection clothesline. He then
reversed an Irish whip and turned it into DreamStreet for the three
count. Now, you may have noticed that Smackdown gets a lot less
Twitter pushing than RAW does, mostly due to the obvious fact that
they don't know if something is trending, because it was recorded
beforehand. However, Josh did suggest that DiBiase's Posse would now
be trending worldwide...
Are Scientists - "Rules Don't Stop"
Show just beat up Mahal some more? Big
Show booted the door into Mark Henry's dressing room only to find it
empty. As he stalked the halls, he came across Tyson Kidd and Jinder
Mahal. Kidd said Henry was long gone. Mahal got mouthy and said
something in Punjabi. When he refused to translate, Big Show knocked
him out with the WMD. Tyson Kidd averted his gaze, climbed over
Mahal's corpse and left...
saw a replay of Daniel Bryan's murder earlier as a cover for Big
Show's walk to the entrance as he made his way out to the ring. He
said it was too bad Henry left because they could have had their
match there and then. What Show had to focus on was that with all
the built up rage there and then, he'd get himself DQ'ed. But nobody
wanted that. He said he always carried a piece of footage around
with him, the footage from Henry taking Big Show out at Money In The
Bank. He said that keeps him focused on his goal, taking the World
Title from Henry. He said Henry said one of them would get carried
out at the PPV. After everything he's done, Show promised that it
would be Henry who didn't walk out of Survivor Series and he'd lose
the World Title to him. He loaded up his fist and told Henry to take
a look at it, because it was coming for him. He was so pumped up
that he did some shadow boxing and then got out the ring like Shawn
Michaels used to, an impressive visual for someone Show's size.
Kingston def. Hunico in a "Well, I think it's suffice to say
Hunico is jobbing to the clothesline on Sunday..." match Before
the match, Hunico ducked out of the ring and cut a promo in Spanish,
so I have no idea what he said. He was also without Epico and Primo.
They did some athletically amateur stuff early on, but Hunico caught
Kofi with a dropkick as Kingston set for a monkey flip. Hunico then
hit a suplex into sit-out Gordbuster for a 2 count. He locked on a
submission not unlike a STF, but Kofi got out of it quick. Hunico
locked on an abdominal stretch on the mat that looked quite cool, but
again, Kingston worked his way out.
hit the Angle Slam, but Kofi avoided a Lionsault and hit a dropkick.
Kofi began his comeback, with dropkick and the superman shot, before
hitting the Boom Drop. The Trouble In Paradise was avoided, but Kofi
caught Hunico with the pendulum kick. However, Hunico rolled through
the crossbody for a close 2 count. Hunico argued with the referee,
before turning round into the SOS for the win.
saw another Ezekiel Jackson video, this time the jist being not to
mistake his humility for weakness and cod-philosophical stuff.
Monkeys - "A View From The Afternoon"
& Beth Phoenix def. AJ & Kaitlyn in a "Mmm...Pretzels..."
and Kaitlyn started things off, and indeed, Kaitlyn got the
upperhand, backing Beth up into the corner and working her over.
However, Kaitlyn was dropped on the top rope, with a kick to the ribs
picking up a 2 count. Nattie tagged in and they hit the double team
electric chair, swinging Kaitlyn right round. Natalya locked on an
abdominal stretch., but Kaitlyn managed to hiptoss out of it.
Natalya missed a leg drop, AJ managed to make the tag in. She
overshot a sunset flip, but Natalya locked on the sharpshooter,
indeed, bridging back the way to apply even more pressure in a very
impressive visual. The heels stood over AJ and mocked her while
Kaitlyn stood on the apron, before we saw a shot of Kaitlyn being
rather annoyed with the result.
announcers sent it to an almost full replay of the main event segment
with The Rock, Awesome Truth and John Cena. I say "almost full,
because this only went around 10 minutes here, when it felt so much
longer on Monday. This led to a run down of the PPV card to this
point, with full use of Florida's music. Just call him friggin'
Florida. Sure, Flo Rida makes him sound like the complete douchebag
non-talent he clearly is, but it's such a shithead's name that I
frankly don't want to give them the satisfaction of saying it the way
they want me to say it. That's like me saying my surname is Woo
- "Ski Jump Nose (Live)"
Orton & Sheamus def. Wade Barrett & Cody Rhodes by DQ in a
"Where was everyone else? They were in the building!"
apparently (well, I say "apparently", but I've
read it) Downstait have released a tweet DENYING they do
the new version of Cody Rhodes's theme. They don't even have a
version to release as they were DOING ONE, but only got as far as
recording the vocal parts. I don't know if that's a bigger problem
than if that bunch of hacks actually just did it anyway.
mean, the baggers were probably a step too far. I said myself, the
time might be right for the mask to go. But with THAT new music,
Cody really is just another guy by the looks of things right now.
There was no need to rob him of EVERYTHING that made him a unique
character that was over. Now he's just the same skinny dude he was
before he started the mask gimmick, only now, rather than a cheesy
rock version of Smoke & Mirrors, he now has one that if it's not
a fourth current theme in the WWE for Downstait (behind Miz, Ziggler
& Alex Riley) it sounds SO MUCH like Downstait that they have to
go as far as to deny it's them.
have suggested that it could be the same dude who sings Wade
Barrett's theme, which if I'm not entirely mistaken is the guy from
Rev Theory, and indeed, since both songs were back to back here, you
can hear a certain similarity. As it goes, Cody got an inset promo
saying that Wade asked him not to let his feelings towards Orton get
in the way. But he said to Wade "What feelings?" before
laughing some. Great, he's keeping the laugh. He's the new friggin'
& Cody started off, with Cody being taken into the corner, before
being thrown off a front headlock. Barrett tagged in. He took it to
Sheamus, but Sheamus fired back with shots of his own. He gave Wade
the clubbing blows in the ropes before giving him a suplex for a 2
count. Wade hit a flying forearm for a 2 count before clubbing on
Sheamus's chest and driving knees into the back. Wade locked on a
hold, but Sheamus escaped and brought in Randy Orton. He hit the
snap powerslam and the Elevated DDT. He set for the RKO, but Rhodes
ran the distraction, jumping off the top rope. Orton caught him with
a shot before hitting the side suplex slam thing he's been doing.
However, this allowed Wader to recover and hit a big boot as we took
returned and Cody was in control of Orton, hitting him with a
Gordbuster as we saw that Christian was now watching from ringside.
Wade tagged in and he worked Orton over some before hitting a knee to
the gut before bringing Rhodes back in. Cody with a double
underhook, but Orton made his way back to his feet and escaped with a
backdrop. Wade cut off the tag however, knocking Sheamus off the
apron. Swinging neckbreaker by Barrett picked up a deuce.
escaped from a chinlock before hitting his backbreaker, allowing tags
to both sides, with Sheamus going to town on Sheamus. He came off
the top with the Battering Ram shoulderblock. He tossed Wade out of
the ring, but as he stepped back and readied for the Brogue Kick,
Christian clipped at Sheamus with his crutch, before jabbing Sheamus
in the neck with it, drawing the DQ.
hit the Beautiful Disaster on Sheamus as Christian was a distraction
allowing Barrett to run Orton down. Cody & Wade then stomped on
Sheamus in the corner, before Christian handed over his crutch.
However, Cody, holding the crutch, took the Brogue Kick. Sheamus
then picked up the crutch and literally smashed it over Barrett's
back. This left Wade prone for the RKO before Sheamus gave Rhodes
the Celtic Cross.
show ended with Sheamus and Orton posing in a couple of corners.
- Another solid show this week, crafted around the 10-man tag on
Sunday, following on it's run of relatively basic but well worked
shows. As well as those matches, we had a couple of pretty freaking
kickass segment with Mark Henry looking awesome in beating someone up
and Big Show's in-ring reaction that, although his backstage segments
in reacting were rather overly-melodramatic.
matches were fine. The main event was just the right side of length
for a DQ finish that didn't feel like a cheat, and was fun as it was.
The other three matches were fine too. Ziggler and Sin Cara was
really good, in fact. I'd love to see more of that. Swagger did his
best with Mason Ryan, and the taff is trying. He could get there.
That said, the bump Ziggler took for him between the two matches was
almost extraordinary. And the third match...the third
match...the...third...match... I've forgotten what it was... Uhh...
I'm dropping some Rick Perry on your asses. I mean, seriously, where
do you Republicans find these morons? Anyway, I was really impressed
with Hunico in his match with Kofi, finally showing some of what I
liked about him in FCW. I mean, he's very likely the first one out
on Sunday, but I hope he, Epico and Primo get a proper push on the
other side of Sunday.
thing I really have to say about the women's match was that the
finishing spot was a great visual and that it could be that after
weeks and weeks of suggesting that Eve would turn heel and join
"Pin-Up Strong" since she's a sturdy lass, and not a
quintessential "Barbie Doll" that after her reaction to AJ
losing, that it could be Kaitlyn that costs Eve the match on Sunday
and joins with Beth & Natalya. You
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