Smackdown
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Merry (D)Xmas!!!
By Aaron Wood
Dec 25, 2009 - 2:22 PM

Hello my Gathering, as you can possibly appreciate, as of right now as I'm writing this introduction (although not necessarily posting the review), I'm in the middle of cooking me and my Gran's Xmas dinner, and then there's all the good Xmas TV to watch later, such as Dr. Who and stuff.  So yeah, Happy Holidays, whatever it is you choose to celebrate today.  I hope you all have a safe and happy time.  And since this is Christmas, and since this is in fact, the last Smackdown of 2009, as next week is January 1st 2010, this week's video are simply my 10 favourite singles this year.  Yes, all ten.  Thought I might put in the extra as a little gift.  HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:  Eric Escobar got Kaned, My favourite ever Indians finally came back, Tyson Kidd got to talk about how he wanted to do better in wrestling than his father and Rey Rey Xmas wish came true...

THIS WEEK…
After the credits (oh, how I missed you...), The Legend That Is Todd Grisham and Matt Striker wishes us a Merry Christmas with a bunch of gifts including the first ever match between Undertaker & Rey Mysterio as well as the DX vs. Hart Dynasty Tag Title match before sending it backstage...


10: Enter Shikari - "Juggernauts"

She ain't no Rachel Ray...
...where we found Vickie Guerrero, and she wished us a Merry Xmas, which was a time about having friends and family for dinner, and she had invited her incredible boss, which is when Teddy Long walked in.  They helped themselves to some egg nog, which Teddy mentioned he had spiked.  Vickie talked potatoes, which she put in a pot of water.  She added about 5kg of butter (I'm NOT exaggerating) to the cold pan of potatoes and water.  Teddy wondered if she was trying to give him another heart attack!  YES, THEY REMEMBER!  Vickie moved onto the turkey, seasoning a raw one and then producing a cooked one.  Looked quite nice actually.  And of course, with turkey comes stuffing!  The famous Guerrero family stuffing.  That said, it did look like the vomit I put up a little of yesterday.  Vickie wanted the cranberry sauce, but Teddy didn't get no cranberry sauce for no-one.  However, when she took it out the fridge, she turned round to see Hornswaggle on the table munching on the turkey!  Thaddeus said dinner was served.  Holla!


09: Kasabian - "Underdog"

R-Truth, John Morrison, Matt Hardy & Finlay def. C.M. Punk, Luke Gallows, Dolph Ziggler & THE SCOTTISH INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION DREW McINTYRE~! in a "Who do you think got pinned???" match
Interestingly, Truth & Punk led out their teams en masse.  Funny moment saw John Morrison touch a young girl's hand and she swooned.  Striker noted that punk thought that Xmas Day shouldn't be celebrated since it was a pagan ritual and school and everyone else should be open.  Finlay & Ziggler started things off with Finlay hitting a shoulderblock after being pushed off the ropes.  Slam and ass splash scored a quick 2 count.  He teased allowing Mr. Ziggles to tag, but pulled him back and tagged Truth.  Roll up by Truth scored a 2 count.  However, Ziggler managed to get control and tag in Punk.  Punk was hit with a hiptoss before Matt Hardy tagged in.

Matt worked Punk over in the corner.  Clothesline and bulldog connected, but only scored 2.  Whip was reversed, but Hardy blocked the charge.  However, Punk countered the elbow out of the corner with a shot to the gut to take control as we took a break.  Gallows had Hardy in a bearhug when we returned.  McIntyre tagged in soon after.  Drew hit a short clothesline for a 2 count before Dolph tagged in again.  Ziggler with an enziguri for a 2 count.  Rolling necksnap drew a Mr. Perfect reference from Striker and a 2 count from the ref.  Dolph locked on a chinlock with a bodyscissors.  Matt managed to break free, but was pulled down by the hair.  McIntyre tagged back in once again and he worked over Hardy, but was caught with a neckbreaker.

McIntyre tagged in Punk, but Hardy tagged in Morrison for the first time.  Morrison got the upperhand, but Punk avoided a jumping heel kick and tagged in McIntyre.  Morrison went after him, but Drew managed to tag Ziggler.  Morrison hit the heel kick to Ziggler before hitting the running knee.  Drew broke up the pin, but Finlay came in and hit the Rolling Samoan.  Punk hit Finlay with the GTS.  Truth hit Punk with the heel kick.  Side Effect to Ziggler, but Gallows took out Hardy & Truth.  However, Morrison hit Luke with the Flying Chuck.  Morrison then hit the laying Ziggler with Starship Pain for the win.

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7.5/10 - A really fun multi-man match that was all action and did the right things in keeping Morrison strong going into next week's IC Title match.
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08: Prodigy - "Omen"

I thought there was more to Canada than that..
After the break, The RAW Main Event Santa Claus, Chris Jericho, came out to the ring.  Jericho said the fact that tonight was a DX Christmas was disgusting and showed why Teddy Long was the worst GM in history.  He said DX being jolly was a fallacy and was part of a conspiracy against him by WWE.  He was a victim in all of this.  to be excommunicated from RAW was one thing, but to be disrespected here was another.  He was the face of Smackdown.  The man of the show.  The fact that Show & Jericho were no longer No. 1 Contenders was an injustice.  What have the Hart Dynasty done?  And JeriShow didn't lose their rematch!

The Hart Dynasty came out to the ring to face their fellow mothercancuker.  Jericho told them to calm down and he respected where they came from.  He was a grad of Stu Hart, same as them.  But he remembered when they had snot in their noses and dirt on their face.  And that's how he thought of them.  What have they done to deserve a title shot?  THE REAL CANADIAN BULLDOG~!, DH Smith, said that when they came across hardship, they didn't run or complain, they faced the problem head on.  Tyson said Jericho said he was the best, but they were better than the best, period.  Jericho began to speak, but the DX music kicked in.  However, DX were only on the Titan Tron.  HHH said they were going to wait to make an Impact, but they were spoiling things and killing the mood.

HBK, who was distracted, said that this what Smackdown looked like.  Hunter pointed out he had been on before, and wanted Shawn to talk about "the gifts".  Michaels said they had great gifts for them.  No, it wasn't the DX book.  It was better!  HHH told Jericho that they had gotten him something to remember his former partner.  The TICKLE-ME-BIG SHOW!  Cue a graphic of Elmo with Show's face on it.  Let's hope Sunny doesn't come back to have sex with THAT.  They knew what Chrissy was thinking.  It wasn't funny!  No, not in itself.  But when you push it's tummy...  Cue a farting sound...  Now, for the Hart kids!  HBK said he had gotten them an all-expense one-way round trip (HHH pointed out how that didn't make sense) back to Canada.  They could enjoy a train ride back to the cold.  Canadian bacon.  Bears.  Hockey.  More Bears.  The Cold...  Did I mention Hockey???

Jericho said this is what DX did, with the immaturity, so if you want to prove yourselves, make in impact.  MAKE AN IMPACT!  He turned round to face the screen as the Hart set for the new Hart Attack.  And indeed, once Jericho said he would beat DX for the Tag Titles, he turned round into the Hart Attack v2.0.  DX noted that they made an Impact.

Between DX, the announcers and Jericho saying "impact", how much do TNAbots think that WWE takes them seriously right now?


07: Julian Casablancas - "11th Dimension"

We cut backstage to see Mickie James as Michelle & Layla approached.  They wanted to say sorry for the way they treated her, which was a book.  they handed it off and left.  But it was a trick!  It was a voucher for some sort of food delivery.  Hey, free food equals a happy Piggy James!  They made more fat insults before leaving.

We joined Todd & Matt (who was wearing one of those jumpers he used to wear as a wrestler) as they sent things back to the Chairs match at TLC, which led into last week's Contenders match.  We jumped backstage to Rey, as Josh came in and asked about his chances tonight.  Rey said something in Spanish before saying Xmas was his favourite holiday and last week, he beat Batista which was sweet-ass in itself, but it also meant he had the chance to win the title again, and tonight, he had to face Taker, and he wouldn't take him lightly.  He was the obvious underdog, and it was Xmas and miracles happen around this time of year.  Maybe Orlando would witness one tonight he might get a present of a lifetime.


06: White Lies - "Farewell To The Fairground"

Undertaker def. Rey Mysterio by DQ in a "Like it was going to end any other way..." match for the World Title
They gave it the main event introductions.  At the bell, Rey used his speed to try and avoided Taker, but walked into a clothesline.  Taker tossed Rey out of the ring, before setting him up on the apron, but Rey avoided the leg drop.  Taker caught him and look to run him into the ringpost, but Rey slipped out and sent Taker in instead.  Mysterio then scored with a suicide dive to the outside as we took a break.

Rey was kicking at Undertaker's legs when we returned, but Taker caught a kick and knocked Rey down.  Rey kicked Taker in the chest, telegraphing a back drop, but Taker stood up angry.  However, when he charged, he was low bridged out.  Rey looked for a seated senton off the apron, but Taker caught him and swung him into the guardrail.  Rey had his head bounced off the steel steps, before being rolled back in.  He scored with an elbow drop, before wringing the arm and yanking on it.  He stretched it over the bottom rope before wringing it again and lifting Rey up on it, trying to hyper-extend the elbow joint.  Mysterio was dropped down and Taker picked up a 2 count.

Scoop slam by Undertaker saw him call for a finish.  Taker chose The Last Ride, but Mysterio slipped out and hit a springboard headbutt/shoulderblock to Taker (I can't be sure what it was, he kinda just lawn-darted himself in Taker's direction...) before Dropping The Dime to pick up a 2 count.  Rey put a couple of kicks in, but was caught for a chokeslam.  Rey fought his way out, but came off the ropes with a crossbody to be met by a boot.  Taker hit the chokeslam, but Batista ran in and attacked Undertaker for the DQ.

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7/10 - A good match here that was, for me anyway, the right side of long enough to make it a worthwhile exercise, especially as a title match, but short enough so that when the inevitable DQ happened, I wasn't pissed off I had through a long match just to get no result, and Taker & Rey seemed like they clicked here, and Taker sold well for him.
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Batista hit the spinebuster on Taker and looked for the Batista Bomb, but Taker backdropped out.  Rey flew in and dropkicked Taker into 619 position.  Rey springboarded into chokeslam position, but Batista hit Taker with a spear.  Rey then hit a drop toe hold on Batista and hit the 619 on him following with seated senton, meaning the only man left standing was the smallest one!


05: Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Heads Will Roll"

We came back to see what just happened as Batista ruined the World Title match.  We joined Todd & Matt as they talked about Matt's jumper, leading to talk of Santa visiting the troops, leading to R-Truth's stint as Santa on the Tribute To The Troops show, with the AWESOME Xmas remix of Truth's music.  Sadly, his performance of Jingle Bells was not so good.

We then cut backstage to see a guy off a shift as Santa Claus looking at the monitor.  You would be forgiven for thinking this was Slam Master J.  However, I can tell you, since I'm Mr. FCW (Sorry DJ Gabriel, but I am...), it was in fact, Heath Slater.  Anyway, Cryme Tyme walked in to ask St. Nick was what up.  This left to the fake Santa bitching about the kids and his feet.  He wasn't giving out any gifts, and indeed, he had kept the good stuff for himself.  Cryme Tyme took exception, and Shad booted the Santa in the face before robbing him of his stuff.


04: Arctic Monkeys - "Crying Lightning"

Cryme Tyme def. Bryce Andrews & Pat Buck in a "Yeah, tossing out hard sharp-cornered boxes into the crowd is just asking for trouble..." match
As Cryme Tyme came out, they had Santa's sack with them, and they tossed out the stuff inside, which was a bunch of WWE toys.  Striker said that Pat Buck was a Long Island collegiate champion while Andrews was a former boxer.  Either way, JTG started off against Buck and had control largely until a backdrop was telegraphed and Andrews tagged in.  Soon after JTG tagged in Shad.  He beat Andrews down before hitting a spinebuster.  Shad dropped the big elbow before press slamming Buck to the outside.  Cryme Tyme then hit the G9, as Grisham called it, but was the Samoan Drop/Neckbreaker combo, for the win.

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3/10 - Just a fun little cheap pop segment to give out toys and stuff.  Nothing much more to it.
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The brutha's handed out a few more gifts as they left.


03: Little Boots - "Remedy"

We went back to Teddy & Vickie as Vickie was complaining about Hornswaggle being there when Guerrero the camera was on.  She apologised for earlier, but everything was under control now.  She wanted to talk dessert.  Specifically a warm apple pie.  Vickie obviously got an idea to put the pie she was holding in his face, but Teddy was one step ahead, as he had a banana cream pie.  They turned, but caught each other and laughed it off.  However, Hornswaggle came in and wanted the cream pie.  Teddy got Vickie to turn around and Horny SMACKED Vickie in the face with the pie, even to his obvious surprise.  Teddy said the moral of the story was always save room for dessert.  He turned around as Hornswaggle pie-faced him as well!  Hornswaggle then did some crotch-chops before dunking his face in the egg nog!  He then helped himself to a glass.


02: Kasabian - "Vlad The Impaler"

Mickie James & Maria def. Layla & Beth Phoenix in a "I assume Beth forgot what was insinuated last week..." match
As Layla & Beth got in the ring, Mickie had to be held back from Layla, as she seemed highly upset.  Maria & Layla started things off, with Maria scoring a pair of dropkicks.  A whip into the corner saw Maria hit a ass splash and then the Kevin Nash boot choke.  Layla caught Maria with a boot and a spin kick for a 2 count.  Beth tagged in and she mauled Maria down.  Splash in the corner, as Matt realised that he and Michelle, who was on commentary, were both former teachers.

As Beth choked Maria on the ropes, Layla tagged herself into the ring, to Beth's chagrin.  Layla hit a snapmare and dropkick to the back before putting on a chin and arm lock that wasn't a million miles away from a Dragon Sleeper, which Striker also noted.  However, an elbow drop missed and Mickie tagged in.  She went to town on Layla before knocking Beth off the apron and hitting the Mick Kick for the win.

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6/10 - Fine enough action as they progressed the angle along.
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Mickie went right after Michelle at the bell , but she hid behind the announcers until Beth jumped him.  Maria tried to help but was knocked down.  Beth then threw Mickie into the side of the announce desk, which gave Michelle the chance to do some trash talking.  However, given the deathly stare Beth gave Michelle, it seemed clear that they weren't exactly friends here.

The Marine 2 trailer.  This was the second one that aired on RAW and is a million times better than the first one.  Would still like to find out on what paradise-based hotel siege this was inspired by, if it was really inspired by true events...


01: The Dead Weather - "Treat Me Like Your Mother"

Back from break, we saw a shot of Disneyworld.  How funny would it have been to see Universal Studios that night, since this taping went head-to-head with Final Resolution?

Next week, 2010 begins with the McIntyre vs. Morrison rematch.

DX def. The Hart Dynasty in a "Let's see what happens on January 4th..." match to retain the Unified Tag Titles
Immediately, I was disappointed they didn't play that great Xmas remix of DX's theme as they came out.  Has to be said, how HH has the title belts on him was pretty f**kin' kickass!  He had them crossing each shoulder like some sort of chest plate.  After the break, and after a fairly lengthy recap of Little People's Court (although not as long as even the recap on RAW) the Harts came out.  Kidd & Michaels started things off pretty fast, exchanging moves before HBK caught a dropkick and catapulted Tyson into HHH's fist on the apron.  Hunter tagged in, and hit a LONG delayed vertical suplex, which Striker noted was probably a taunt to David Hart Smith, given that it was his daddy's move.  HHH picked up a 2 count, before whipping Kidd hard into the corner.  Kidd was whipped across the other side, but while he blocked the charge, the jumped out into a Pedigree position.  However, thanks to HBK's accidental distraction of the ref, DH Smith managed to break up the move.  Smith then tagged in and went to work in the corner as we came back.

Smith was still in control of HHH as we came back, as HE hit a delayed vertical suplex on Hunter, but like The Game, he picked up only a 2 count.  DH put on a chinlock, but as HHH got out, he was driven back into the Harts corner, as Grisham seemed to school Striker for once.  A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE EVERYONE!  HHH tried to fight back, but Smith trapped the foot and Kidd tagged in, although he ran right into a big clothesline.  HHH managed to tag in Shawn Michaels, and he hit the flying forearm before slamming Kidd.  He went up, and after kicking Smith away, came off the top with an elbow, but Tyson moved at the very last second.  Kidd hit a springboard blockbuster on HBK for a close 2 count.

DH tagged in and hit a couple of forearms before whipping HBK up and corner the corner to the floor.  Smith rammed HBK into the side of the ring.  As HBK climbed back on the apron, the ref was distracted, so Natalya slapped HBK right in the chops.  The Harts hit a double drop toehold/leg drop for a 2 count.  Tyson put on a chinlock, but Michaels got back to his feet and chopped his way out.  Kidd, however, hit a mule kick for a 2 count.  Smith tagged in and he hit a delayed suplex on Michaels for a deuce.  Smith put on a chin and arm lock.  Michaels fought out of it and chopped up Smith, although DH came back with the Saito Suplex for a close 2 count.

Kidd tagged in and they rammed HBK into the corner for 2.  HBK came close to tagging Hunter, but instead he shoved Kidd into the ropes before clashing.  HBK looked to tag, but Kidd springboarded in and HBK caught him with an atomic drop.  Michaels managed to tag HHH as Smith tagged in himself.  Harley Race knee was followed by the facebuster and AA Spinebuster.  That picked up a 2 count.  Kidd ran into a spinebuster of his own before Hunter stalked DH Smith.  Smith countered the Pedigree and they hit the Hart Attack v2.0, but HBK made the save on the pin.  Kidd clotheslined him out, but HBK avoided the pescado over.  Smith went for the running powerslam, but HHH slipped out.  HBK set for the superkick, and HHH ran Smith into the boot, with Smith staggering into HHH's Pedigree for the win.

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8.5/10 - Call it Christmas spirit to add the extra half point of so, but I thought this was a really great match here.  I was a little disappointed in the clean finish, but if what I suspect will happen happens, and the Harts cheat to win the titles in the new year, then that'll be more than enough to get their heat back.  That said, as it was, The Dynasty got plenty of offence here, including that Hart Attack, even though I'm sure someone somewhere will somehow bitch about it even though it was HHH that took it.
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After the match, Hornswaggle appeared from under the ring with Santa hats.  He gave one to HHH and HBK and then put on one of his own.  HBK said Horny had two words for us, which was "MERRY CHRISTMAS!", before they did the crotch chop pyro as the show ended.

OVERALL - 8.5/10 (+1 on last week) - You know, for a show that no-one is going to watch, this was pretty f**king cracking stuff.  Nothing was crap and a good portion of it was really good.  I liked the Vickie/Teddy stuff because it came off as being fun.  I think what hurt the Little People's Court thing was that it just dragged on for far too long, so the fun that was to be had in it seemed less because of that.  But here, it was pretty good.  the top and bottom matches were fine.  They teased an issue between Jericho & The Dynasty as well as DX/JeriShow and DX/Dynasty.  Wouldn't surprise me if that was a three-way at the Rumble, as well as a three--way with Taker, Batista & Rey, which given that all combinations have had some really good one on one matches, should be a pretty kickass triple threat.  All in all a really fun show to finish off the year.