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TNAaron Wood's EPICS: Ep. 6 (The Hogan Angle That Wasn't)
By Aaron Wood
TNA
Wrestling...Cross The Line...But remember to make a joke about the shitty
company tag-line unlike last week when you forgot...
Before the credits, we saw Hulk Hogan made a statement to the Japanese media about having never won the NWA Title, only for Jeff Jarrett to burst into the cheap looking room and give him the EL KABONG~!, busting him open. Remember way back in the first episode where I told you what was in the opening credits, and I made mention of the fact they blew threw their entire catalogue of Hogan footage in those 30 seconds? Well, be prepared as Mick Foley explained that this week, we'd be taking a look back at "one of the most controversial and headlining making moment in pro wrestling history". And ladies and Gentlemen of the Insanity, Foley was saying this without a hint of sarcasm or irony. Foley said Jeff Jarrett brought TNA to Hulk Hogan in an international event that put TNA on the map. What map? Where? We jump to the Asylum where Mike and Don are practically jizzing in their pants about what happened "In the Orient" (that's what they said EVERY TIME they talked about Japan. They called it "the Orient"), showing us newspaper pictures of Hogan's match with Masahiro Chono. How rinky dink can you get? Imagine Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler reading out of the local paper. This sent it to a couple of match highlights before yet another showing of the press conference footage and Jarrett's attack. I should probably fill in some of the story at this point. TNA had the idea, while running their stupid weekly $10 PPV idea to have a big show at the end of November 2003 (What would have been Bound For Glory 1), and they went to Hulk Hogan with the idea of him and Jarrett main-eventing for the NWA Title. The idea being to play off the Bash At The Beach incident from WCW in 2000, where there were major issues over who won the Hogan/Jarrett World Title match, which caused Hogan to leave the company and a lawsuit to be filed. However, to make an incredibly long story short, even though press releases were sent out pimping the November PPV (despite Hogan not actually having signed anything yet), Hogan ended up pulling out claiming to have bad knees (and to be fair he did get surgery on them), leaving TNA in the lurch with an angle they were in the middle to build to their biggest show (which was promptly cancelled and never heard of again until they went with the proper TV/Monthly PPV format the following year), although the timing was interesting as it just so happened that Hogan would be healthy again right in time for Wrestlemania XX, even though Vince probably called Hogan's bluff and didn't use him on that show anyway, leading some to believe that he was sticking a finger up at Vince after the Mr. America angle was dropped and Hogan left the WWE while also campaigning for a Mania spot. So really, this is the story of TNA having an angle and trying to book their way out of the hole they dug themselves into by not having Hogan tied up before they started pushing him. We returned to see Foley talking to his t-shirt, before he said in 2003, rumours saw Hogan talking about coming to TNA (while we saw the guitar shot for a fourth time in 7 minutes of TV including credits). We jumped to the weekly PPV show as Tenay had Jarrett in the ring as Triple J explained himself for his actions. Jarrett yakked on for a bit. He said that he and Hogan had issues in the past. Tenay said "you mean Florida?", and Jarrett told him to never bring that up again. You see, making reference to something without actually explaining it isn't something new to TNA, it was rife when the company began too! "Florida", in case you're wondering, refers to the Bash at The Beach I mentioned earlier. Jeff wittered on some more before out of nowhere, VINCE RUSSO~! came out and attacked Jarrett. This next part is not a single word of a lie. Russo took Jarrett down with a double leg trip, and they spilled out of the ring as Russo laid in blow after blow. He then tackled Jarrett over the guard rail before laying in a bunch of chair shots. Russo then sent Jarrett into another rail before setting up a table and putting Jarrett into it, although it didn't actually break. And people complain when Shane McMahon got shots in on Orton!?!?! Jarrett managed to come back by tackling Russo into the rail before laying in some stiff chairshots. Tenay made pains to remark that Russo wasn't a wrestler or an athlete. No he's not. And yet, he's a former WCW Champion. They continued to do pretty random stuff in the crowd. Jeff took off his belt and started whipping Russo. That said, Russo didn't sell a single one of them. Indeed, he audibly asked "IS that all ya got?" Who was booking this crap? Oh yeah... After an absolute age, the thing ended when Jarrett tied Russo to a fence to whip him and chair him some more (although Russo continued to barely sell a thing) until Ekmo (Umaga), Joe E. Legend and Sonny Siaki came out. Another thing that was really confusing about this was that Jarrett was a clear heel in his promo, but he was being treated by the announcers as the complete babyface in this battle. It should be noted here that this attack was, in effect, a sacrifice to Hogan, as TNA effectively got rid of Vince Russo, to placate Hogan who vowed to have nothing to do with Russo, who was behind the WCW incident (it was his "Montreal Screwjob") and so to encourage Hogan to come in, they sacrificed Russo as a character, and I believe a writer, for the following period. We jump to a video of Jarrett in Japan where he went over how his brilliant attack on Hogan happened, from hiding in the toilet until he knew Hogan was being interviewed. We jump to the following week's show as Tenay had Jimmy Hart in the ring, as Jimmy made mention of the Bash At The Beach incident, wondering why Jarrett laid down for Hogan on the biggest night of his life, calling Jarrett out of an explanation. Jeff did come out and said as long as Hart was in TNA, he wasn't to bring up that incident again. Jarrett said, as he came into the ring, he'd tell Hart one time and one time only. However, he didn't offer an explanation as he as he offered a solid right hand. He tied Hart to the ropes and started whipping him as well. Security tried to break it up, but they failed drawing out AJ Styles, who Jarrett would be facing later in the show for the NWA Title (which Jarrett won, since the idea was Hogan was facing Jarrett for the belt and AJ had it, and well, of course, he's Jeff Jarrett), made the save. Indeed, we jumped to Jarrett's post-title win celebration as Jimmy Hart appeared on the medium-sized screen to cut an irate promo, as he said that he would be making phone calls and bringing in someone he used to manage for revenge. After the break, we went to the following week's show (which aired two days after the PPV was officially cancelled, and Hogan was no longer coming in, since his surgery was scheduled for the following day (Oct. 30th)), so all mentions of the raison d'être of the angle were nil at this point, and it became more about Jimmy Hart vs. Jeff Jarrett as shown here as we saw Jarrett come to the ring. Jimmy came out and said the first man was a good friend of Hogan's. It was...Hacksaw Jim Duggan... Suffice to say Tenay and West went nuts as if this was Duggan in his prime. Duggan cut a short promo about how loyal he was to his country and friends. Jeff Jarrett vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan (October 29th 2003) Jarrett, despite having left the ring when Duggan got in, got the drop on Duggan and got the advantage for a bit. However, Duggan came back with clotheslines, forcing Jarrett out again. Duggan went after him and sent him into the timekeeper's table before hitting Jarrett with a Halloween pumpkin. He dumped Jeff on the announce table and hit a couple of chairshots. Back in the ring, Duggan was jumped by Jarrett, who hit a couple of axe handles off the second rope. However a third saw him caught by Duggan who chokeslammed him. He then hit some mounted punches in the corner before setting for and hitting the Three Point Stance. However, as he went for the 2x4, Don Callis, who was Jarrett's buddy, grabbed it while Jarrett hit Duggan with the EL KABONG~! for the three count. Winner: Jeff Jarrett Jarrett got on the mic and asked if that was the best Jimmy had, and it was time for Hogan to rear his bald head (even though Jeff knew full well Hogan wasn't coming). Jimmy reappeared to say it was the tip of the iceberg, since he knew who was in the limo (I'm assuming he means Duggan), but Hart wondered if Jarrett knew who was in the Hummer? I'm assuming it was a Hummer that turned up earlier and not a reference to another WCW angle... Anyway, the camera cut back to the ring to reveal that the original WCW Mystery Man, Rick Steiner was standing behind him. Jeff Jarrett vs. Rick Steiner (October 29th 2003) When Jarrett FINALLY got the hint (since the crowd were all barking and Hart was telling him to turn around), Jeff's shoulders dropped and he turned around into a pair of clotheslines by Steiner. T-bone suplex by The Dog-Faced Gremlin saw him go up, but the ref was pulled into Steiner's way. As Ricky attended to the ref, Jarrett got another guitar and one EL KABONG~! later ended that. Winner: No Contest, although really, it was Steiner by DQ. Jarrett got on the mic again as the heel security guys worked over Steiner on the outside. Jimmy hart said Jeff got lucky, but it was signed and sealed for next week that Jeff Jarrett would be facing the man they call Sting. Jarrett s**t himself as we took a break. Foley welcomed us back to say that Jarrett may have taken TNA to Hogan, but it was Sting that ended Jarrett's path of destruction. Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett (November 5th 2003) This was Sting's return after a short run earlier in the year, ironically teaming with Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett stalled seemingly forever (while also taking a Sting beach towel and tossing it into the crowd) before the pair finally started a battle. Sting got early shots in, including a quick Scorpion Deathlock, but Jarrett made the ropes. He powdered out, but Sting followed and took it right into the crowd. This wouldn't be TNA if it wasn't a main event crowd melee. Ignoring all of that because crowd fighting has and almost always will suck, when they got back to ringside, Sting hit Jarrett with an electric fan that surely was only blowing Don West's rampant body odour into Mike Tenay's face. Back in the ring, Jarrett reversed a whip and locked in a sleeper, as we saw that Jarrett was busted open. Sting recovered and got out of the hold to engage in a slugfest. Stinger Splash in the corner saw Sting try for the Deathlock, but he kicked Sting off into the referee. Jeff got the title belt, but he missed the shot and Sting hit the Death Drop. Don Callis pulled the ref out the ring at 2. However, this distracted Sting so Jarrett managed to hit him with the belt the second time. This time however, Jimmy Hart stopped the ref's count, pointing out how Jeff got Sting down. The match just continued and Sting locked in the Deathlock off a missed dropkick. The Redhsirt Security ran in, but not only was this not a DQ, but Sting took them out until Jeff scored with an obvious chairshot for the DQ. Winner by DQ: Sting The trio worked over Sting, only for Raven to come out. Raven & Jarrett fought, but as Raven went for the Evenflow, the Redshirts worked him over too as the numbers caught up with him. The next one out was AJ Styles, who crossbodied the Redshirts before putting shots on Jarrett, but the Redshirts were up quick and hit a powerbomb/neckbreaker to put him down. The next person out was Abyss, who without doing a thing managed to clear the ring by sheer presence alone. That said, like a moron, AJ raised Abyss's hand, and Abyss gave him the Black Hole Slam. Jarrett got another guitar and went to hit Sting, but Jimmy Hart had handed Sting the baseball bat and he blocked the guitar shot. He took down Jarrett and then Abyss and then the Redshirts with the bat as the show ended. What you didn't see was Sting saying he wanted to team with AJ against Jarrett, so Jarrett said he was bringing in his own partner...Lex Luger. But that's possibly (but hopefully not) for another day. OVERALL - Quite a funny show in terms of the original angle being a monumental disaster in so far as them putting all their eggs in the Hogan basket in the hope of getting some big press on it, but only for Hogan to be able to conveniently pull out thanks to TNA's complete ineptitude for not actually signing him before starting the storyline. A mistake TNA has been doomed to repeat since then. To give them credit, they got lemons and made lemonade, by turning it into the Jarrett vs. Jimmy Hart and then the Jarrett vs. Sting show, but given TNA's attitude and given TNA's clear attitude to it now, since Foley said it was "Controversial" and "headline making", it's hilarious that they consider a great big bust of an angle as something huge. Hell, I'd bet people don't even remember Hogan's espresso (never mind a full cup of coffee) with TNA, and if they do, they know how dumb it was and how it ended up. Aaron, since his original recording of Epics didn't work and he had to download this and review it far later than he usually does, not pretty much as to get ready for work tomorrow before going to bed. F**king DVR. That said, keep an eye out for the latest FCW Crib Sheet, the first 2 episodes in my F(ree)CW Catch up and then, next Sunday, I will have something that could shake the foundation of World Wrestling Insanity to it's very core!!!!!. Or it may not, we'll have to see.... You can find him either on Facebook, MySpace(myspace.com/aaron24wood), or on Twitter(twitter.com/aaron24wood). And don't forget to check out the ClubWWI Twitter feed while you're there. Or if you're into gaming, Aaron's Playstation Network screen name is, you guessed it, aaron24wood as well!
Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on...
Lance
Cade D-Ray
3000 Bobby
Eaton Manny
Fernandez Greg Gagne Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Harley
Race Dave Taylor
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