From WorldWrestlingInsanity.com
TNAaron Wood's EPICS: Ep. 6 (The Hogan Angle That Wasn't)
By Aaron Wood
Jun 21, 2009 - 4:46 PM
TNA
Wrestling...Cross The Line...But remember to make a joke about the shitty
company tag-line unlike last week when you forgot...
Before the
credits, we saw Hulk Hogan made a statement to the Japanese media about having
never won the NWA Title, only for Jeff Jarrett to burst into the cheap looking
room and give him the EL KABONG~!, busting him open.
Remember way
back in the first episode where I told you what was in the opening credits, and
I made mention of the fact they blew threw their entire catalogue of Hogan
footage in those 30 seconds? Well, be
prepared as Mick Foley explained that this week, we'd be taking a look back at
"one of the most controversial and headlining making moment in pro
wrestling history". And ladies and
Gentlemen of the Insanity, Foley was saying this without a hint of sarcasm or
irony. Foley said Jeff Jarrett brought
TNA to Hulk Hogan in an international event that put TNA on the map. What map?
Where?
We jump to the
Asylum where Mike and Don are practically jizzing in their pants about what
happened "In the Orient" (that's what they said EVERY TIME they
talked about Japan. They called it
"the Orient"), showing us newspaper pictures of Hogan's match with
Masahiro Chono. How rinky dink can you
get? Imagine Michael Cole & Jerry
Lawler reading out of the local paper.
This sent it to a couple of match highlights before yet another showing
of the press conference footage and Jarrett's attack.
I should
probably fill in some of the story at this point. TNA had the idea, while running their stupid weekly $10 PPV idea
to have a big show at the end of November 2003 (What would have been Bound For
Glory 1), and they went to Hulk Hogan with the idea of him and Jarrett
main-eventing for the NWA Title. The
idea being to play off the Bash At The Beach incident from WCW in 2000, where
there were major issues over who won the Hogan/Jarrett World Title match, which
caused Hogan to leave the company and a lawsuit to be filed.
However, to make
an incredibly long story short, even though press releases were sent out
pimping the November PPV (despite Hogan not actually having signed anything
yet), Hogan ended up pulling out claiming to have bad knees (and to be fair he
did get surgery on them), leaving TNA in the lurch with an angle they were in
the middle to build to their biggest show (which was promptly cancelled and
never heard of again until they went with the proper TV/Monthly PPV format the
following year), although the timing was interesting as it just so happened
that Hogan would be healthy again right in time for Wrestlemania XX, even
though Vince probably called Hogan's bluff and didn't use him on that show
anyway, leading some to believe that he was sticking a finger up at Vince after
the Mr. America angle was dropped and Hogan left the WWE while also campaigning
for a Mania spot.
So really, this
is the story of TNA having an angle and trying to book their way out of the
hole they dug themselves into by not having Hogan tied up before they started
pushing him.
We returned to
see Foley talking to his t-shirt, before he said in 2003, rumours saw Hogan
talking about coming to TNA (while we saw the guitar shot for a fourth time in
7 minutes of TV including credits). We
jumped to the weekly PPV show as Tenay had Jarrett in the ring as Triple J
explained himself for his actions.
Jarrett yakked
on for a bit. He said that he and Hogan
had issues in the past. Tenay said
"you mean Florida?", and Jarrett told him to never bring that up
again. You see, making reference to
something without actually explaining it isn't something new to TNA, it was
rife when the company began too!
"Florida", in case you're wondering, refers to the Bash at The
Beach I mentioned earlier.
Jeff wittered on
some more before out of nowhere, VINCE RUSSO~! came out and attacked
Jarrett. This next part is not a single
word of a lie. Russo took Jarrett down
with a double leg trip, and they spilled out of the ring as Russo laid in blow
after blow. He then tackled Jarrett
over the guard rail before laying in a bunch of chair shots. Russo then sent Jarrett into another rail
before setting up a table and putting Jarrett into it, although it didn't
actually break.
And
people complain when Shane McMahon got shots in on
Orton!?!?!
Jarrett managed
to come back by tackling Russo into the rail before laying in some stiff
chairshots. Tenay made pains to remark
that Russo wasn't a wrestler or an athlete.
No he's not. And yet, he's a
former WCW Champion. They continued to
do pretty random stuff in the crowd.
Jeff took off his belt and started whipping Russo. That said, Russo didn't sell a single one of
them. Indeed, he audibly asked "IS
that all ya got?" Who was booking
this crap? Oh yeah...
After an
absolute age, the thing ended when Jarrett tied Russo to a fence to whip him
and chair him some more (although Russo continued to barely sell a thing) until
Ekmo (Umaga), Joe E. Legend and Sonny Siaki came out. Another thing that was really confusing about this was that
Jarrett was a clear heel in his promo, but he was being treated by the
announcers as the complete babyface in this battle.
It should be
noted here that this attack was, in effect, a sacrifice to Hogan, as TNA
effectively got rid of Vince Russo, to placate Hogan who vowed to have nothing
to do with Russo, who was behind the WCW incident (it was his "Montreal
Screwjob") and so to encourage Hogan to come in, they sacrificed Russo as
a character, and I believe a writer, for the following period.
We jump to a
video of Jarrett in Japan where he went over how his brilliant attack on Hogan
happened, from hiding in the toilet until he knew Hogan was being
interviewed.
We jump to the
following week's show as Tenay had Jimmy Hart in the ring, as Jimmy made
mention of the Bash At The Beach incident, wondering why Jarrett laid down for
Hogan on the biggest night of his life, calling Jarrett out of an
explanation. Jeff did come out and said
as long as Hart was in TNA, he wasn't to bring up that incident again. Jarrett said, as he came into the ring, he'd
tell Hart one time and one time only.
However, he didn't offer an explanation as he as he offered a solid
right hand. He tied Hart to the ropes
and started whipping him as well.
Security tried to break it up, but they failed drawing out AJ Styles,
who Jarrett would be facing later in the show for the NWA Title (which Jarrett
won, since the idea was Hogan was facing Jarrett for the belt and AJ had it,
and well, of course, he's Jeff Jarrett), made the save.
Indeed, we
jumped to Jarrett's post-title win celebration as Jimmy Hart appeared on the
medium-sized screen to cut an irate promo, as he said that he would be making
phone calls and bringing in someone he used to manage for revenge.
After the break,
we went to the following week's show (which aired two days after the PPV was
officially cancelled, and Hogan was no longer coming in, since his surgery was
scheduled for the following day (Oct. 30th)), so all mentions of the raison
d'ĂȘtre of the angle were nil at this point, and it became more about Jimmy Hart
vs. Jeff Jarrett as shown here as we saw Jarrett come to the ring. Jimmy came out and said the first man was a
good friend of Hogan's. It
was...Hacksaw Jim Duggan... Suffice to
say Tenay and West went nuts as if this was Duggan in his prime. Duggan cut a short promo about how loyal he
was to his country and friends.
Jeff
Jarrett vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan (October 29th 2003)
Jarrett, despite
having left the ring when Duggan got in, got the drop on Duggan and got the
advantage for a bit. However, Duggan
came back with clotheslines, forcing Jarrett out again. Duggan went after him and sent him into the
timekeeper's table before hitting Jarrett with a Halloween pumpkin. He dumped Jeff on the announce table and hit
a couple of chairshots. Back in the
ring, Duggan was jumped by Jarrett, who hit a couple of axe handles off the
second rope. However a third saw him
caught by Duggan who chokeslammed him.
He then hit some mounted punches in the corner before setting for and
hitting the Three Point Stance.
However, as he went for the 2x4, Don Callis, who was Jarrett's buddy,
grabbed it while Jarrett hit Duggan with the EL KABONG~! for the three
count.
Winner:
Jeff Jarrett
Jarrett got on
the mic and asked if that was the best Jimmy had, and it was time for Hogan to
rear his bald head (even though Jeff knew full well Hogan wasn't coming). Jimmy reappeared to say it was the tip of
the iceberg, since he knew who was in the limo (I'm assuming he means Duggan),
but Hart wondered if Jarrett knew who was in the Hummer? I'm assuming it was a Hummer that turned up
earlier and not a reference to another WCW angle...
Anyway, the
camera cut back to the ring to reveal that the original WCW Mystery Man, Rick
Steiner was standing behind him.
Jeff
Jarrett vs. Rick Steiner (October 29th 2003)
When Jarrett
FINALLY got the hint (since the crowd were all barking and Hart was telling him
to turn around), Jeff's shoulders dropped and he turned around into a pair of
clotheslines by Steiner. T-bone suplex
by The Dog-Faced Gremlin saw him go up, but the ref was pulled into Steiner's
way. As Ricky attended to the ref,
Jarrett got another guitar and one EL KABONG~! later ended that.
Winner:
No Contest, although really, it was Steiner by DQ.
Jarrett got on
the mic again as the heel security guys worked over Steiner on the
outside. Jimmy hart said Jeff got
lucky, but it was signed and sealed for next week that Jeff Jarrett would be
facing the man they call Sting. Jarrett
s**t himself as we took a break.
Foley welcomed
us back to say that Jarrett may have taken TNA to Hogan, but it was Sting that
ended Jarrett's path of destruction.
Sting
vs. Jeff Jarrett (November 5th 2003)
This was Sting's
return after a short run earlier in the year, ironically teaming with Jeff
Jarrett. Jarrett stalled seemingly
forever (while also taking a Sting beach towel and tossing it into the crowd)
before the pair finally started a battle.
Sting got early shots in, including a quick Scorpion Deathlock, but
Jarrett made the ropes. He powdered
out, but Sting followed and took it right into the crowd. This wouldn't be TNA if it wasn't a main
event crowd melee. Ignoring all of
that because crowd fighting has and almost always will suck, when they got back
to ringside, Sting hit Jarrett with an electric fan that surely was only
blowing Don West's rampant body odour into Mike Tenay's face.
Back in the
ring, Jarrett reversed a whip and locked in a sleeper, as we saw that Jarrett
was busted open. Sting recovered and
got out of the hold to engage in a slugfest.
Stinger Splash in the corner saw Sting try for the Deathlock, but he
kicked Sting off into the referee. Jeff
got the title belt, but he missed the shot and Sting hit the Death Drop. Don Callis pulled the ref out the ring at
2. However, this distracted Sting so
Jarrett managed to hit him with the belt the second time. This time however, Jimmy Hart stopped the
ref's count, pointing out how Jeff got Sting down. The match just continued and Sting locked in the Deathlock off a
missed dropkick. The Redhsirt Security
ran in, but not only was this not a DQ, but Sting took them out until Jeff
scored with an obvious chairshot for the DQ.
Winner
by DQ: Sting
The trio worked
over Sting, only for Raven to come out.
Raven & Jarrett fought, but as Raven went for the Evenflow, the
Redshirts worked him over too as the numbers caught up with him. The next one out was AJ Styles, who
crossbodied the Redshirts before putting shots on Jarrett, but the Redshirts
were up quick and hit a powerbomb/neckbreaker to put him down. The next person out was Abyss, who without
doing a thing managed to clear the ring by sheer presence alone. That said, like a moron, AJ raised Abyss's
hand, and Abyss gave him the Black Hole Slam.
Jarrett got another guitar and went to hit Sting, but Jimmy Hart had
handed Sting the baseball bat and he blocked the guitar shot. He took down Jarrett and then Abyss and then
the Redshirts with the bat as the show ended.
What you didn't
see was Sting saying he wanted to team with AJ against Jarrett, so Jarrett said
he was bringing in his own partner...Lex Luger. But that's possibly (but hopefully not) for another
day.
OVERALL
- Quite a funny show in terms of the original angle being a monumental disaster
in so far as them putting all their eggs in the Hogan basket in the hope of
getting some big press on it, but only for Hogan to be able to conveniently
pull out thanks to TNA's complete ineptitude for not actually signing him
before starting the storyline. A
mistake TNA has been doomed to repeat since then. To give them credit, they got lemons and made lemonade, by
turning it into the Jarrett vs. Jimmy Hart and then the Jarrett vs. Sting show,
but given TNA's attitude and given TNA's clear attitude to it now, since Foley
said it was "Controversial" and "headline making", it's
hilarious that they consider a great big bust of an angle as something
huge. Hell, I'd bet people don't even
remember Hogan's espresso (never mind a full cup of coffee) with TNA, and if
they do, they know how dumb it was and how it ended up.
Aaron,
since his original recording of Epics didn't work and he had to download this
and review it far later than he usually does, not pretty much as to get ready
for work tomorrow before going to bed.
F**king DVR. That said, keep an
eye out for the latest FCW Crib Sheet, the first 2 episodes in my F(ree)CW
Catch up and then,
next Sunday, I will have something that could shake
the foundation of World Wrestling Insanity to it's very core!!!!!. Or it may not, we'll have to
see.... You can find him
either on
Facebook,
MySpace(myspace.com/aaron24wood),
or on
Twitter(twitter.com/aaron24wood). And don't forget to check out the ClubWWI Twitter
feed while you're there. Or if you're
into gaming, Aaron's Playstation Network screen name is, you guessed it,
aaron24wood as well!
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