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TNAaron Wood's EPICS: Ep. 7 (World Title Matches. That Means A Whole Load Of Jarrett...)
By TNAaron Wood
TNA
Wrestling...Cross The Line...Go on, make it very cross...
Foley introduces the show by asking if we were ready for some of the best world title matches in TNA history. He told his kids to go to bed now. Do his kids live in the UK, the only place this show airs, or did no-one tell him? Raven vs. Jeff Jarrett for the NWA Title (April 30th 2003) Julio Dinero & Alexis Laree are at ringside for Raven. Punk must have left by this point. Julio Dinero must be kicking himself. CM Punk is currently World Champion in WWE. Alexis Laree, if you didn't know, ended up as 4-time Women's Champion Mickie James. Dinero...f**king nowhere these days, which is a shame, because I liked what I saw of him in the old ECW. As a note, and entirely typically for TNA, Raven was the heel here, but the crowd were cheering him as the babyface while Jarrett was the babyface, but given that he had been champion for about 6 months by this point, the crowd were booing him. Raven out-wrestles Jarrett to start with, but Jarrett fires back and Raven powders out. Jarrett gives chase, and he sends Raven into the guardrail. Back in, and as Laree took the ref, Dinero came in with a chair, but he clonked Raven in the head by accident when Jarrett moved, busting the challenger open already. Triple J decided to pescado out onto The Gathering (as they were called) as Don West prophetically said "He wanted to be the Hunter", only for Raven to hit Jarrett with on of his own. Raven hit the drop toe hold into the steel steps, allowing Jarrett to blade quite obviously. The Gathering had set up a table, and it's odd seeing Mickie James with less voluptuous boobies... Jarrett is set up on the table, but he rolled into the ring as Raven went up top, although Raven hit a double axe handle off the second rope for a 2 count. Raven hit the whip into the rebound clothesline spot. A chair was sent into the ring, and Raven again scored with the drop toe hold, but it only scored a 2 count. Knee to the back off the second rope scored 2 as we took a break. We came back as Jarrett fired off a Stroke, but he only scored a 2 count. A DDT by Raven put both men down, before Jarrett clotheslined Raven over the top rope, tumbling out himself. Jarrett put Raven on the table. Jarrett went up, but Julio tried to cut him off. Jarrett, superman he is, elbowed DInero off and then hit an elbow drop through the table. Back in, Jeff hit a DDT, but Dinero pulled the referee out of the ring. And then the wackiness REALLY began. The ref ejected The Gathering, but the ref got bumped and both men hit simultaneous low-blows. Apropos of nothing, The Harris Brothers, representing S.E.X. at the time (and people say Russo wasn't booking this stuff back then...) and the Disciples Of The New Church brawl at ringside. And then The Extreme Revolution (A bunch of old ECW guys, namely Sandman, Justin Credible, New Jack and PERRY F**KING SATURN~!) came out to lay a beating on Jarrett. Saturn handed some cuffs to Raven, and he cuffed Jeff's hands together. They then hit a terrible ConChairTo with Saturn and Credible hitting Superkicks to the chairs. Raven set up for a chair shot to kill Jeff. However, at that point, the lights went out and when they came back on, Sabu was in the ring. Or he would have been, if he wasn't very late in getting there, since the lights came back on as he was sliding in. But anyway... Sabu went to work on Raven, hitting a bunch of his spots, before fighting off the ECW guys. Then, apropos of nothing (second time I've said that in this match. You really can't tell me Russo didn't book this), Sabu decided to take his leave by diving into the crowd and taking out a fan. No, really, he did just that. Jumped up on the guardrail, leapt off and took out a fat woman, barely stopping to see if she was OK and certainly not bothering to help her up, before leaving the scene. Anyway, back in the ring, Jarrett was still handcuffed, allowing Raven to choose his shots. He again went for the chair. However, Jeff ducked the shot and it came off the ropes back into Raven's face. Some guy came out and handed a "Universal key for the handcuffs". However, Rudy Charles took so damn long to get it done, Raven ended up doing it himself! Raven hit the Evenflow DDT, but Jarrett kicked out at 2 to booing. A second Evenflow was blocked and Jarrett hit The Stroke for the three count. The crowd were so pleased with this heroic victory, they pelted the ring with garbage, including what looked like a complete newspaper. Winner & Still Champion: Jeff Jarrett - Jesus, this was over-booked garbage. And no, I wasn't fan when they did the exact same thing in old ECW matches either. And yet, it appears in the TNA Year One DVD, the Best World Title matches DVD AND The Jeff Jarrett DVD! Talk about over-rating stuff. If I did star ratings, it would be a 3 star match TOPS. ARE YOU READY TO GO FOR A BITE? Rhino vs. Raven for the NWA Title in a Raven's Rules match (Unbreakable 2005) We join things as Raven hits the ring, having brought down his obligatory shopping cart of stuff. Rhino had a kendo stick, and he immediately powdered out. He got back in when Raven grabbed one of his own, but in lieu of a duel, Raven got the jump on Rhino and squashed him in the corner with a crutch. Don't ask me... Raven grabbed a pizza cutter and dug into Rhino's head, drawing a loud "We want pizza" chant. Shots with a cookie tray took things outside. Rhino was sent into a beer keg, head first. However Rhino came back, swinging the keg into Raven's sides, although a head shot against the ringpost was avoided. Raven took control again with a stick shot. Back in, Raven hit more shots for a 2 count. Raven then locked in an ankle lock. Rhino made the bottom rope as we took another break. We returned with Rhino in control as he kicked a trash can into the downed Raven's head. Raven was also busted open at this point. Face wash to Raven, but A charge was countered with another ankle lock. Who does he think he is? Kurt Angle??? Rhino this time stood up on it and hit a can shot. We skipped ahead via edit (to take out a spot with a staple gun) to see Rhino hit a chairshot. However, Rhino went up top and missed a splash onto Raven. Slugfest was won by Raven when he hit the discus clothesline. He then hit the rebound clothesline. A running high knee was followed by a clothesline and bulldog for a 2 count. Raven set up for the drop toe hold onto the chair, but Rhino hit a shot, sending Raven into it. Cassidy Reilly came down to the ring, as Raven hit the Evenflow, which only scored a 2 count, thanks to Cassidy's distraction. Rhino set a ladder up against the chair, but dumbly, Rhino hit some mounted punches, which left him easy prey for Raven to powerbomb him through the ladder. However, it only scored a 2 count. Rhino the was able to use the ladder as a see saw into Raven's face. He crawled in and made a cover, but only scored a 2 count. Rhino went out and got the shopping cart, hitting Raven with it before dumping it in the ring. Raven got hold of the cart, however, and he sent it into Rhino. Rhino scored a low blow and went for a Gore. Raven moved, but Rhino stopped. Rhino tried another gore, and again Raven moved, but this time Rhino couldn't stop himself and went into the cart. Jeff Jarrett ran out to kill Raven with the NWA belt, but Jeff Hardy of all people robbed Jarrett, allowing Raven to hit the Evenflow on Jeff. He then hit the Evenflow on Rhino for the win. Winner & Still Champion: Raven - This was better than the opener, because at this was supposed to be a weapons match (I can't find ANYTHING about any special stips for the opener, which makes the run-ins and weapons and stuff even more baffling), and it wasn't over-booked. This was the sort of ECW-Garbage match I could dig back in the day. I mean, I can always do without the likes of the pizza cutters and staple guns, but this was a pretty fun garbage match. BITE HARD! We rejoined Foley, who was amazed at the blood and gore. But our main event was next as Tito Ortiz stepped inside the ring to enforce the next match. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Jarrett for the NWA Title with Tito Ortiz as Guest Referee (Hard Justice 2005) The announcers noted this was AJ's biggest match of his career. This would be the (at this point) 2-time NWA Champion. Jarrett took AJ into corners, but Ortiz made sure of the split. The crowd desired that Tito f**k Jeff up. The pair exchanged holds, before they had a stand off while trying to knock the other down, which AJ eventually won. AJ went for a dropkick, but Jarrett slid out. He walked up the ramp, motioning he was clever. However, the announcers pointed out, as Tito Ortiz counted, that the champion would change on a count out or DQ. Not anymore of course, when they forgot that stip, booked a DQ in a house show title match and dropped it when people took notice of it, and decided to ignore it. Back in, AJ hit a dropkick and a knee drop for a 2 count, although Tito was slightly slow in making the count. Styles hit a splash in the corner. However, Jarrett hit a gutbuster off his knee as we took another break. We returned with Jeff in control as he stopped AJ from getting in the ring with a knee. Jarrett went to hit another knee, but Ortiz grabbed him by the throat. This allowed AJ to grab Jarrett and pull him out, but AJ missed a charge and hurt his arm on the ring post. Jeff went for the guitar, but Ortiz cut him off. Jeff threatened to hit him when AJ grabbed it. He went to swing, but Jeff moved and AJ had to stop himself from hitting Tito. AJ seemed annoyed that Tito wouldn't let him use the guitar, so he elected to destroy it on the ringpost instead. Springboard forearm by AJ was followed with a spin kick. AJ hit the Phenomenal for a 2 count. The Styles Clash was blocked, and then a headscissors was turned into a powerbomb by Jarrett for a 2 count. The Stroke was blocked, but Jarrett hit a powerslam for a 2 count. Backslide by AJ scored another 2 count, as did a small package. The Pele sort-of connected, but Jarrett tried The Stroke again. Jarrett rolled through a roll up and hit the Styles Clash on Styles for a 2 count. Jarrett had a suplex blocked, and AJ turned it into a Stroke for a 2 count of his own off his opponents finisher. AJ went up top, but a 450 missed. AJ rolled through though and looked for another Styles Clash. Monty Brown ran in and went to POUNCE~! AJ, but AJ moved and he hit Jarrett. As AJ made a pin, Ortiz was busy with Brown, so another ref made a count, but he was pulled out by Ortiz, saying HE was the official, which annoyed AJ, and allowed Jarrett to get a low blow in. Now, Ortiz saw the nut shot, but didn't think to adhere to the law and DQ Jarrett. Instead, Jarrett put Styles up top, but he pushed Ortiz back, and they got into a shoving match. Ortiz hit Jarrett with a punch, allowing AJ to climb up another corner to hit the Spiral Tap for the three count! Don West, as the crowds went NUTS~!~!~!~!~!, said that he hadn't used the move in 2 years. Winner & New Champion: AJ Styles - I dunno. I wasn't overly enamoured with this. I think it just felt like they focused on how Ortiz was the man in control of the match too much, making him the focus of absolutely everything. And I didn't like that it was one shot from Ortiz that was really the thing that put Jeff down. I mean, they sure wet themselves at seeing the Spiral Tap, but they went to pains to emphasise that Ortiz's punch clearly did Jarrett in. But when it wasn't all about Ortiz, it was fine. Fireworks went off in celebration, as Ortiz put the belt on AJ's waist. AJ and Ortiz celebrated as Monty Brown checked on the KO'ed Jarrett. We stayed on AJ until the end of the show. OVERALL - Better show than in recent weeks, but still not exactly a great showing for the company. There have been far better title matches. Indeed, this just showed any viewers that as far as TNA are, or at least were, concerned, World title matches all needed weaponry and outside interference to be any good. And they don't. Aaron is rocking the Glastonbury Festival TV coverage. He also booked what will be a HOT ticket at this year's Edinburgh Festival. And he also made his first ever Wikipedia edit. And it was entirely truthful! And for the first time in a whole month, he won't be going to work tomorrow. But then again, he is charged with CHANGING THE FACE OF CLUB WWI AS WE KNOW IT!!!!! You can find him either on Facebook, MySpace (myspace.com/aaron24wood), or on Twitter (twitter.com/aaron24wood). And don't forget to check out the ClubWWI Twitter feed while you're there. Or if you're into gaming, Aaron's Playstation Network screen name is, you guessed it, aaron24wood as well!
Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on...
Lance
Cade D-Ray
3000 Bobby
Eaton Manny
Fernandez Greg Gagne Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Harley
Race Dave Taylor
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