I have read many of the DVD reviews posted here, and thought it might be fun to try my hand at writing one of my own. I chose Armageddon 2003 as the entertainment for the night. This show saw a recurring theme throughout the broadcast, that of Triple H and Evolution dominating the entire broadcast (a theme quite prevalent for late 2003 ... and the rest of 2003, come to think of it. And 2002 ... and 2004 ... and ... oh, never mind). Not exactly good times, but hey, it's appropriate for this site (and I mean that as a compliment)!

On to the show:

The PPV opens with Lillian Garcia singing "The Star-Spangled Banner". Following that, an apocolyptic-themed video starter details the main event.

Mark Henry vs. Booker T: J.R. describes The World's Strongest Marky Mark as an "athletic" and "intense" 385 pounds, despite the fact that he appears ready to call it a night after a few steps down the ring ramp. Hmm, must be the intensity part, I'm guessing ... Shortly after the bell, both men find themselves outside the ring ... The future "King World Champ" catapults himself over the top rope and onto the future Smackdown main eventer (?!) and world title contender (???!!!) from the inside ... A combination of kicks, punches, and a flying forearm fails to knock The Mother Hen-ry off his feet, but a scissors kick finally does the job, although it only gets T a two-count ... Marko flattens Book with a splash in the corner, a clothesline, and a big legdrop ... Henry misses another corner splash, and a second scissors kick from Booker puts the big man down for the count.

Winner: Booker T, by pinfall.

Backstage, Eric Bischoff, Chris Jericho, and Christian are discussing tonight's "Battle of the Sexes", pitting the two Canadian Blondes agains the one Canadian blonde and Edge's T.V. sex toy. However, they are interrupted by a ...

Mick Foley Promo: Foley gets his usual "cheap pop" town reference ... Mickey states that the petition to bring back Steve Austin now has one million signatures, and proceeds to bring out Stacey Keibler for a "celebration", which consists of four Keibler cartwheels and one Foley ... um, front roll, I guess ... Alas, Evolution's music brings out Randy Orton and Ric Flair to ruin the fun ... Ort states that Austin is gone and gone for good ... True, we never did see much of "Stone-Cold" after that, did we? ... Mick says it appears Orton wants to go, and proceeds to remove his suit, revealing his referee's uniform ... Rob Van Dam's music hits, which brings us to ...

Intercontinental Title Match: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam (Special Referee: Mick Foley): Nice exchange between Orton and RVD: Ort slips behind Van Dam after a bodyslam attempt and goes for a reverse DDT, only to have RVD snapmare him and apply a head scissors on the mat. Orton quickly slips out of the hold and jumps onto the champ with a headlock ... Ort whips Van Dam into the corner and charges at him, only to have RVD sling himself feet-first out from the turnbuckle and into young Randall's abdomen ... A big top-rope flying bodypress from Van Dam get's a two-count ... RVD attempts to throw Orton over the top rope, but Randy lands on the apron. Robbie V ducks an Orton punch and spin-kicks his challenger to the floor ... We see a running front-flip from Van Dam over the top rope onto Randy ... RVD rolls Ort back into the ring, and gets another two-count after an over the top rope legdrop ... Rob attempts a moonsault, but is pushed from the turnbuckle onto the outside guardrail by Orton ... Randall delivers a standing dropkick to RVD on the floor ... Back in the ring, Foley pulls Orton off of Van Dam after his continuous choking of the champ. Mick turns around from his arguing with Randy just in time to see Flair attempting to enter the ring. He proceeds to exit the ring and admonish "The Nature Boy" ... RVD ducks an Orton clothesline and bodypresses him for yet another two-count ... Van Dam lifts himself over Ort from the turnbuckle, but runs into a nasty clothesline ... A split-legged moonsault from the I-C kingpin again gets him a count of two ... Randy executes his overhead-backbreaker-into-a-neckbreaker maneuver, and gets a two himself ... A doubled-footed spin-kick from Van Dam appears to have gotten Orton right in the throat - ouch ... RVD does his backflip/ram-opponent-into-the-turnbuckle chain of moves, ducks a clothesline, and nails Randall with a kick from the second rope ... A northern-lights suplex from Van Dam gets ... you guessed it - a two-count! ... With Orton draped over the guardrail, RVD spin-wheel kicks him in the back from the ring apron ... Randy nails Rob with a nice DDT as Van Dam attempts to re-enter the ring ... After executing "Rolling Thunder", RVD kicks Flair from the inside. Orton uses the distraction to quickly wrap up Van Dam for a close two-count ... Yet another spin-kick from RVD appears to have nailed Randy quite hard between the eyes ... With Van Dam on the top rope, Flair distracts him, allowing Ort to dropkick the champ, causing him to slip groin-first onto the turnbuckle to the mat ... "The Legend Killer" drops RVD with an RKO for the pin, thus beginning Orton's 7-month reign as Intercontinental champion.

Winner: Randy Orton, by pinfall.

A video promo details "Eric Bischoff's Battle of the Sexes".

Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Lita and Trish Stratus: Have I mentioned how much I don't miss 2003? I haven't? Well, don't worry, because I'm bound to at least a few more times before this show is over ... Seriously, this match was ridiculous. Yes, I know WWE still shows mixed bouts, but having two females square off against two of the best workers on the roster - on a pay-per-view?! ... The match starts with Trish attempting a bodypress on Jericho, but Jerry catches her and places Strats on his knee for a spanking ... Trish catches Jericho with a flying headscissors ... Jericho tags Christian, who pushes Stratus down and demands that Lita be tagged into the match ... Lita manages a monkey-flip and headscissors on the future NWA champion ... Jericho attempts a powerbomb on Edge's squeeze, but she reverses it into a "Frankensteiner" (bet you haven't heard it that word in a while! Okay, I admit I'm only using it because I'm not completely sure how to spell the "H" word for the same maneuver - is it "hurricarana"?) for a close two-count ... Later, Christian charges Trish, who side-steps him, causing Mr. Cage to go soaring to the outside ... Jericho climbs the top rope, only to be pulled down groin-first onto the turnbuckle by Lita ... Trish attempts a headscissors, but Fozzy's front man blocks it ... Christian attempts a clothesline on Stratus, but Trish ducks using her awesome back bridge, causing him to catch Jericho instead ... Lita catches Christian with a top-rope headscissors, but Jericho pulls her to the outside and throws her into the guardrail ... Chris helps Trish to her feet, but Christian sneaks up behind her and rolls Strats up for the win, as Jericho looks on with apparent concern.

Winners: Jericho and Christian, by pinfall.

A video promo plays detailing the Shawn Michaels-Batista match.

Batista vs. Shawn Michaels: Batista is accompanied to the ring by Ric Flair ... Michaels ducks a clothesline and slips outside the ring, where he drops an interfering "Nature Boy" with a right hand ... Batista levels Shawn with a wicked clothesline ... A moonsault from HBK gets him a two-count ... Michaels hits Dave with his trademark flying forearm, followed by the mandatory nip-up - which leads to another clothesline from the big man ... Batista whips Shawn hard into the stairs on the outside ... Back in the ring, Michaels lands another flying forearm - and nip-up ... Bats lifts HBK up into a chokehold, which Shawn counters with a rather sloppy DDT ... Shawn connects with the top-rope elbowdrop, and proceeds to "tune up the band" ... Batista, however, manages to catch Michaels with a spinebuster before any "Music" can be played ... Dave nails Shawn with another spinebuster ... Batista attempts his "Tiger Bomb" finisher, but Michaels slips out of it, lands on his feet, and drops Dave with the superkick for the three-count.

Winner: Shawn Michaels, by pinfall.

Matt Hardy vs. Maven: Maven is introduced, but is hesitant to get into the ring, as Batista and Flair are still there agonizing over Dave's loss ... Matt comes out, and he and M begin fighting on the runway ... Hardy tosses Maven into the ring, where Batista proceeds to destroy him with two "Tiger Bombs" ... Dave and Ric leave, and Matt enters the ring ... Lillian Garcia informs us that due to Maven's condition, the match between he and Hardy will not take place ... The Hardy Boy refuses to accept Lillian's announcement, covering Maven and counting the pinfall himself ... Matt then grabs the microphone and proclaims himself the winner.

Winner: No-contest.

Backstage, Batista is still irate over his loss to Shawn Michaels. Flair attempts to calm Dave down with a pep talk, and ends his speech by saying that the two of them will walk out with title belts around their waists (Gee, I wonder what that means ...?).

Tag Team Title Turmoil: The Turmoil begins with The Hurricane and Rosey squaring off against La Resistance ... Rosey holds Rob Conway by the legs for a Hurri-legdrop from the top rope ... Hurricane ducks a clothesline and botches an attempt to hit the second rope and bodypress Rene Dupree on the outside ... Rosey is tagged in, and proceeds to go to work on both Resistance members ... Rose climbs the second rope, and Greg Helms comes down off his partner's shoulders onto the Conman for the pinfall ... Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade sneak up on the superheroes from behind, and Jindrak rolls up Hurricane for the three-count, eliminating the dynamic duo from the match ... Val Venis and Lance Storm arrive next ... While holding Cade in a wristlock, Storm jumps onto the top rope and backflips off. He then hits the second rope, where he is met with a hard right hand from Jindrak ... Val is tagged in, and is a house of fire on both is opponents ... Storm hits Garrison with a clothesline that sends the two of them over the top rope ... Venis attempts a suplex on Jindrak, but Gary clips him from behind, causing Marko to fall on top of him for the pin - with Cade holding Val's foot from the outside ... I liked that ending ... Tag champs the Dudley Boyz hit the ring, and proceed to pummel Jindrak and Cade ... Gary goes for an elbow from the top rope, but D-Von moves out of the way ... 3-D on Jindrak, and that's it for Mark and Cade ... The siren brings out Scott Steiner and Test ... The two proceed to double-team Bubba Ray ... Bubba hits a second-rope back senton splash on Test ... D-Von tags in, and is a house of fire on Steiner and The Tester ... Test goes for a big boot on Von, but he moves out of the way and T nails his own man, allowing The Dudley Boy to roll up Test for a two-count ... T hits D-Von with a full-nelson slam and covers him with both feet on the ropes, but D-V kicks out at two ... Test levels Von with a chair, but Bubba pulls him off of his bro at the count of two ... B. Ray manages a "Bubba-bomb" on Test, and D-Von covers him for the winning three ... However, this match is not over folks ... Eric Bischoff comes to the ring, and states that there is one more team left to compete in Tag Team Turmoil - Ric Flair and Batista!!!! ... *Gasp!* ... Yeah, right. Anyway, Dave and Ric enter the ring, Flair slaps the figure-four on Bubba, Batista drills D-Von with the "Tiger Bomb", and Evolution wins the tag titles in about thirty seconds ... Have I mentioned how much I don't miss 2003?

Winners: Ric Flair and Batista, by pinfall.

Clips are shown of the Smackdown stars visiting U.S. troops at a press conference in Los Angeles. This was to offically announce the first Smackdown broadcast for the United States Army in Iraq.

Women's Championship Match: Molly Holly vs. Ivory: Ivory hits Molly with a flying bodypress from the top rope for a two-count ... Later, Holly is slingshotted from the ring to the floor by Ivy, who follows that up with a front roll from the apron onto the Women's champ ... Molly delivers her handspring elbow to Ivory in the corner ... Holly reverses a roll-up and uses the tights to put her challenger away.

Winner: Molly Holly, by pinfall.

A video promo is shown detailing the main event.

World Title Match: Triple H vs. Kane vs. Goldberg: The match begins with Triple H and Kane double-teaming Goldberg ... Goldy, however, manages a house of fire comeback on his foes for a short time ... 'Berg attempts a spear on Kane, but is met with a big boot ... Hunter covers Goldberg after a Kane powerslam, but 'Taker's little bro pulls him off, putting an end to their temporary alliance ... Kane goes for a chokeslam on Bill, but Trippy clocks him with a steel chair ... Goldberg places Hunter's leg between the chair and climbs to the second rope, but interference from Kane saves H's limb ... Outside the ring, the the champ appears ready to "Jackhammer" Kane through the announce table, but Trip nails Goldberg in the ribs with the chair ... A chokeslam from "The Big Red Machine" fails to send the Goldberger through the table, Triple H's elbow from the guardrail does the job ... Hunter goes for a "Pedigree" on Kane, but is backdropped onto the arena floor ... Back in the ring, Paul Bearer's son proceeds to work over H with a number of power maneuvers ... Both men eventually find themselves on the outside once again, and Kane delivers a chokeslam to Trip on the ramp ... The "Machine" throws Hunter back into the ring, but is caught with a Goldberg spear as he re-enters the ring ... The move gets Goldy a two-count before H breaks up the pin ... Berger hits both Trip and Kane with seperate spears, but interference from Evolution prevents him from capitalizing ... Kane chokeslams Goldberg, but Batista pulls the big man out of the ring and holds him back, allowing you-know-who to get the pin on Bill and win the title for what seemed like the 1200th time ... The show ends with all the members of Evolution standing at the front of the runway holding their championship belts high for all to see.

Winner:  Triple H, by pinfall.

Extras: Bonus material includes Stacy Kiebler's "Leg-O-Roonie", footage of Mick Foley's return to Raw as Co-General Manager, A Rock promo with Foley and La Resistance, backstage interviews with Trish and Lita, Foley, and Evolution, and a (thankfully) short Sunday Night Heat match between Heidenreich and Rico.

Overall Comments: Have I mentioned how much I don't miss 2003? Honestly, if there was ever a single show to personify Triple H's grip over the WWE product at that time, this was it (not that his grip has been loosened much since then). Of course, I understand and agree with Randy Orton's I-C title win - it was an obvious and crucial step toward elavating his career. However, the championship victories of Hunter and the Flair/Batista team were completely unnecessary and clearly designed to feed Trip's ego. Evolution's only loss of the night was Batista going down to H's bestest buddy, so you figure that one out.

And what about Goldberg?! True, WWE had long sinced dropped the ball with him by this time, but I'm sure 'Berg's mere three-month title reign ending with a single chokeslam didn't exactly do wonders for whatever money may have been left in his run with the company.

All-in-all, this really wasn't much of a show. Orton-RVD was good, and the Tag Turmoil match had its moments, but other than that ... well, let's just say I would have been upset had I shelled out the bucks for this card on pay-per-view (at least the DVD is considerably cheaper - plus, the extras are included). To be honest, the only reason I chose this event to review is because I felt it was a good fit for the World Wrestling Insanity web site, with Evolution and Triple H's glory dominating the show.

I hope you enjoyed this review. If this goes over well, maybe I'll be back to do others in the near future. Thanks for reading and take care!