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The Best of Rain

By MC_U.S.TitleBelt
Jan 12, 2006 - 1:55 AM

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�Break It Down, Old School!!!� w/MC_U.S.TitleBelt

Volume 3:

The Best of RAIN

What up, world!!!! It�s TitleBelt!!!! In the wake of my triumphant review of the old school tapes of wrestling�s most certifiable personality, �Warrior� Jim Hellwig, I gave you the readers a chance to decide what I�d review next. When the dust settled and the votes were tallied, one video emerged victorious. Though no one actually commented in the thread, I�m certain that there were many who were surprised that the winner was not a product of WWE, TNA, ECW, ROH, or any group that has nationally televised recognition. No, Sir! The champion of this poll was produced right here in the fine state of Minnesota and contains some of the best matches of a lady who deserves to be mentioned in the same sentence as Madusa and Nora �Molly Holly� Greenwald when speaking of the greatest woman wrestlers, not only in Minnesota, but dare I say, The World(and I don�t mean the former WWF New York either)!!! That uncrowned champion of all ladies wrestlers goes by the single syllable name of my favorite weather condition. That lady is(long dramatic pause like Mr. Kennedy and climbs to the second rope for effect)� Rain�.

�The Radiant One if you�re nasty!
(I love using that Janet Jackson reference)

Now, I know what you might be thinking at this point. You�re like �MC, not all of us have had the opportunity to see or hear of the greatness that is Rain prior to this. How about some background on her so we�re not completely lost.� Well, I anticipated that. Rain was very gracious in helping me answer questions and fill in blanks where needed. MC�s your hook up, guys.

Here�s what I gathered from a combination of statements from Rain herself, and info on her at www.glorywrestling.com (which also has info on every opponent she faces on the tape).

Rain got her start in wrestling like most do, through serendipity. Her cousin, Stacy, knew a guy named Tim, who was an indy wrestler performing under the name of Trailer Trash Tim. It seems that Triple T wanted a pair of ladies to be his managers so he asked Stacy and Rain. From the very first moment in front of the crowd, Rain was convinced that she would not be content to just stand at ringside and watch the action. She wanted to be in the ring and go full throttle. It was a short time later that she came under the tutelage of one of the Minnesota indy scene�s favorite sons, Horace The Psychopath. From there, it just kept getting better.

Somewhere down the line, Rain befriended another rising star of the women�s division named Lacey. As I watched the video, it became obvious to me they have chemistry as opponents that is on par with Bret Hart and Curt Hennig, there was nothing disappointing about that series of matches. However, depending on what promoter they�re working for, they also team up as The Minnesota Home Wrecking Crew. Those are matches that I hope to see one day, since logically, they have to be just as awesome as teammates as they are working against each other. I did ask Rain if it was ever confusing playing heel or face depending on the promoter as opposed to always being on one side consistently, and she said that she prefers to alternate personas from promotion to promotion. From her perspective, it�s a way to keep from getting old and boring, and also allows you to perfect playing either character. When you put it that way, it makes sense when one takes into consideration the fact that a certain wrestler might be more appealing on one side the coin than the other(and much to my chagrin, I now understand why you guys want John Cena to turn heel).

When asked if she feels that the women�s division is taken more seriously in the indies, Rain whole heartedly agreed. Since she�s in the biz to actually display her in-ring ability and not be eye candy for a bunch of sexually deprived dudes who she could probably beat the tar out of without a great deal of trouble, she appreciates the fact that indy promoters are willing to book her in actual matches. Rain didn�t get into the sport to be the queen of the lingerie pillow fight. She�s here to kick ass and take names.

And oh the names� With no particular favorite opponent, Rain loves taking on all comers, especially when she believes them tougher than she. The old �Tougher the challenge, the sweeter the prize� mentality. Many of ladies Rain likes to fight are in the tape, but there are so many more, perhaps you, the readers, might recognize some of the names if by chance they have wrestled at an independent promotion near you: Manami Toyota, Fabey Appatche, Tracy Brooks, Rebecca Knox, Melissa, Sara Del Ray, Mariko Yoshida. There are many more, but even Rain couldn�t think of all the opponents she has yet to and really wants to face. Personally, I think the greatest women�s match in history would be Rain vs. Nora. Nora has even agreed with me that it would be a totally boss match, so fingers crossed, knock on wood, and most especially, pray to God that we are some day privileged enough to see that at First Avenue.

Just had to throw that one in as it is the best picture I�ve ever been in.
Okay, I feel like I�d better start to review the tape or else it defeats the purpose. The layout of the tape is similar to my six hours of Jushin Thunder Liger, only it�s 1 hour 23 minutes. No breaks in between matches. No host segments. Just pure, seamless action. Even for me, a person who loves the host segment jazz, the lack of them did not take away from my enjoyment of the tape. It still rocked. That said, we go to our first match:

Match #1: Rain vs. ODB at First Ave. for Downtown Championship Wrestling.

At first glance, the uninformed might look at that billing and think to themselves, �She�s taking on that guy from the Wu-Tang Clan?�. But that ain�t the dealio. Rain is not taking on the recently deceased buddy of The RZA and The GZA. In this case, ODB stands for �One Dirty Bitch�, an amazon in the tradition of Chyna, minus the implants and the embarrassing appearances on Howard Stern and VH1�s �The Surreal Life�(had to mention that for Mallory). This match is actually a role reversal for The Bitch as she is usually the heel(I can�t see a lot of face opportunities for someone with a character name that has the word bitch in it), but that is Rain�s role tonight at �The House That Prince Built�. We don�t have commentary for this match, but I think the action speaks for itself in this case.

Rain makes her entrance with her best pal/tag partner/arch-nemesis depending on the day, Lacey. The ringside fans are jeering like mad, but Rain will have none of that and responds in typical heel fashion by threatening to back hand her detractors. Off camera we hear Rain�s roommate and occasional valet, The Weird Cookie (pictured below), adds his two cents:

�MY ROOM MATE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!�

The Minnesota Home Wrecking Crew enter the ring, Stacy Kiebler style, on opposite sides, strike a pose, and start jawing at Weird Cookie and others in the area. ODB is introduced and gets a strobe light with her entrance(not recommended for epileptics). She slithers under the bottom rope causing our heels to bail out. The Amazon does a brief calisthenics routine straight out of the BodyDonnas playbook, and goes to the middle rope to work the crowd. Rain, being the sharp villainess that she is, seizes the opportunity while ODB�s back is turned, by delivering a forearm shot. This match is on!

Rain starts with a hard chop with high resonance and whips Beeyotch right into a ballerina spin kick by Lacey. Staying on offense, Rain delivers a textbook snap mare/soccer kick to the back combo, that Rain gave me permission to name The Cascade(rolls off the tongue better than snap mare/soccer kick to the back combo, don�t you think). That is a staple in her arsenal, and she does it sooo well. ODB recovers quickly and puts Rain down with a series of clotheslines. Lacey swings the match back in her partner�s favor with a trip from the outside. The Radiant One works the lower back with a variety of stomps, forearm shots, and shoulder thrusts in the corner. A hair pull snap mare later and we get our first pin attempt. ODB out in 2. Rain distracts the ref as the other Home Wrecker chokes out The Biz-natch. This results in another 2 count.

ODB starts to get a second wind and lands a missile drop kick and Rain kicks out of the pin attempt. Rain reverses an Irish Whip to the buckle. The Bitch puts on the brakes just before impact and attempts to head scissor Rain as she charges in. Weird Cookie�s Roommate counters this with a high angle spine buster but only gets a 2 count even with her feet on the ropes. Frustrated by this, The Radiant One resorts to choking and stomping to weaken her opponent. Lacey offers assistance when the ref is distracted by Rain�s beauty.

Rain goes for one version of the Rain Drop(there are two variations and I�ll call them when I see them). This version has Rain set up for a diving reverse DDT, but instead dropping to the mat, on the way down she drives her knee right between her opponent�s shoulder blades, that will be referred to as Rain Drop #2, since it doesn�t appear to be used as often as the D.R. DDT(which will just be referred to as The Rain Drop). At any rate, as Rain attempts Rain Drop #2, she doesn�t quite get the impact she wants out of the first part because of the size difference between her and ODB makes it awkward to actually drive the knee into the back, but the Rain Drop that follows sure works nicely. All that work, and she only gets a 2. Beeyotch puts Rain in a full nelson, but The Radiant One slips out, drops to the mat and tries a head scissor takeover, but ODB reverses that into a pancake, and both ladies are down.

After an 8 count to clear the cobwebs, the adversaries make it to their feet. ODB gets a 2 count on Rain following a flying clothesline from the second rope. Weird Cookie�s Roommate recovers and whips ODB to the buckle. As Rain tries to follow up, ODB sets herself on the top turnbuckle and grabs her opponent by the head. We�re then treated to a rather unusual looking move as ODB starts smashing Rain�s head into the buckle or into her(meaning ODB�s) crotch, I couldn�t quite tell from the camera angle. With one last attempt to gain the upper hand, Rain snap mares The Bitch off her perch, but is ultimately thwarted compliments of a TKO by ODB. 1...2...3! One Dirty Bitch is victorious.

Match #2: Rain vs. Mickie Knuckles Night 2 of the 2nd annual Ted Petty Invitational for IWA Mid-South.

This next contest is a non-tournament match at the memorial tournament held in honor of a man who was an innovator of violence, Flyboy Rocco Rock a.k.a Ted Petty. From what Rain told me, The TPI used to be an annual indy show called Sweet Science. Ted unfortunately died while the Sweet Science Show was being held in 2001, though I�m hazy as to whether or not he was competing on the card at the time. But that�s not the issue. What is the issue is that starting in 2002, Sweet Science was re-christened The Ted Petty Invitational in Ted�s memory. Other than that I can tell you nothing, as I�ve not had the pleasure of seeing a tape of the tournament side of the TPI, save for the fact that according to commentary during the match by IWA Mid-South promoter, Dave Prazak, and ladies� wrestler, Alison Danger, Rain�s opponent filled a vacancy in the tournament and had a very good showing against the man who trained her, Ian Rotten. She may not have beaten her mentor, but Mickie Knuckles earned a lot of respect from her peers. Now, she has The Radiant One to contend with.

�Celebrity Skin� by Hole heralds the arrival of the Mistress of the Rain Drop, who snatches dollar bills from guys at ringside. That practice came about because for a very long time, due to her heel-ish ways, Rain was called a� I hate using this word, but for the sake of journalistic integrity and giving the whole story, I have to say it,�crackwh*re. To further play along with this idea, fans started bringing dollar bills to taunt her during her entrance and Rain would grab the cash. It�s actually quite funny to watch.   On this particular occasion, a large gentleman at ringside tries to show that he�s got a bigger rack by pushing his flabby pecs together with the dollar clenched between them, but Rain still walks away with the money, so who�s the bitch now, pal? Prazak and Danger comment that Rain should buy a meal with the money she�s collecting at ringside as they feel she�s looking frail(First, Nora�s ass is made into a joke, and now, Rain is called anorexic. My two favorite ladies can�t get any respect).

When I first heard the name Mickie Knuckles, I was expecting a female equivalent of Tank Abbott or a member of the Mamalukes with a wrestling style to match(if she were in WWE, that would probably be her character because of their one dimensional M.O.). Knux is actually a very gifted technical wrestler, and she�s gotta be tough as nails being a student of Ian Rotten, if what I�ve read of him is accurate.

Rain begins on offense with The Cascade, which is always a solid way to start things(wow, that girl can kick). Mickie almost immediately retaliates with a waistlock takedown and chains that beautifully into a front face lock on the mat. One thing that is very obvious to me from watching this tape, the lost art of chain wrestling that we believed was as well hidden as El Dorado has been excavated and greatly utilized in the indies. We get a fine example of this with a chain of wristlocks, hammerlocks, and headlocks that ends with Mickie sweeping Rain�s leg and going for the pin. The ref was out of position and Rain is easily out at 1.

Damn!!!! Rain can sell a clothesline like nobody�s business.   Knuckles lands 2 but misses the 3rd and Rain counters with a toe kick to the abs and a, not sure what you call it but, to me it looks like it could be called a hair pull STO, as it has the same motion as an STO only with hands firmly gripping the opponent�s hair. The Radiant One decides to revisit The Cascade, only this time she really lets Mickie have it with 4 soccer kicks instead of the usual one, and then ices the cake with a front dropkick to the face! OW! Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma cou sa! Pardon the Michael Jackson reference, but if Craig Kilbourn could use �Jumanji� to express surprise, I can use Michael Jackson. Back to the action, a cover, a count, only 2 and Rain is shrieking like Sherri Martel at the ref for the slow count.

After the brief tantrum, The Mistress of The Rain Drop wisely goes to work in Mickie�s upper back with hammer blows and then tangles her between the middle and top rope for stretching and front dropkicks galore. Still only a 2 for the effort, and The Radiant One is pissed. Rain with an Irish whip and Ian Rotten�s prized pupil responds with a very impressive sunset flip, but can only keep her adversary down for 2. When Rain gets up, she drops Knux with a clothesline that I think she hurt herself with considering the way she�s shaking her arm. The ladies exchange elbow shots and a whip reversed by Rain results in a Rain Drop, which only yields a 2. Rain continues to channel Scary Sherri as a result.

While setting up another Rain Drop, Knuckles reverses it into 2 out of 3 Amigos. When Rain won�t stay down, Alison Danger comments that Mickie should just shoot her opponent with a gun. Fine use of Schiavone Logic there, Alison. Rain whips Knuckles to the corner. In the follow up charge, Mickie slings over the oncoming storm and folds her up like an accordion with a German Suplex that would make Benoit envious and causes Prazak to do his best Joey Styles �OH MY GOD!!!!�   Amazingly, Rain is able to slip out of that pinning predicament, but she�s gotta be dazed. Mickie follows this up with a deathlock/bridge submission, shades of the Pegasus Kid. After a few moments, Knux doesn�t realize she�s lost the leg grapevine part of the hold and Rain keeps up the guise of being in agony to lure her opponent into a false sense of security before she uses a free hand to knock Knuck-Knuck on the noggin. Alliteration is such a beautiful literary device, don�t you think?

Both ladies are back up. Rain misses the clothesline. Mickie grabs her by the arm, spins her around, and BAM!!! Tazz couldn�t have done that Northern Lights Suplex any better for the finish. Mickie Knuckles makes up for her loss in the tournament by showing up Rain.

MATCH #3: Rain Vs. Lacey for FLWA

Hey, wait a sec� Weren�t these two allies at First Ave.? Well, through the beauty and wonderment of booking creativity that would make Rhodes and Nash�s heads spin, best friends are now better enemies when wrestling for the now-defunct French Lakes Wrestling Association. Lacey comes out first and she�s accompanied by a pair of guys Rain told me are known as �The High Rollers�. One of them looks like �Governor Bod� Jesse Ventura. and the other looks like the lead singer from �A Flock Of Seagulls� which has to be the most frightening hair style trend that ever there was. As Courtney Love croons, a kinder, gentler, uber-face Rain comes to the ring and slaps hands with the fans rather than threatening to slap them.

Lacey and Rain start this shindig off with a chain of wristlocks that Lacey puts to an end by putting the Radiant One on the mat by virtue of the hair. A standing side headlock by Home Wrecker #2 is countered when Rain kicks her in the back of the knee, and quickly follows up with a wristlock that is subsequently countered with a trip by Lacey into a headlock on the mat that then turns into a kneeling reverse chinlock that her adversary escapes and answers with a hammerlock before turning it into a headlock of her own�.whew! Chain wrestling, gotta love it. Back on their feet now, Rain goes from a headlock to an arm wringer and delivers two hard chops and a thunderous clothesline, followed by a creative rendition of the side Russian Leg Sweep(arm wringer with the left, hook the leg with the right and BOO-YAH!!!). Lacey�s out in 2.

The Radiant One backs her best friend into the corner and shushes the crowd so they can hear the lovely sound of 3 chops that could cause an avalanche in a mountainous region. Lacey is whipped to the opposite corner and dodges the in coming charge as Rain suffers the misfortune that Hawk, Kerry Von Erich, Jim Hellwig, and Curt Hennig did in the first match of the 1990 Survivor Series, The �Shoulder into Ring Post #3�. Lacey unloads with a barrage of hammer blows to the injured left shoulder and is relentless in working the arm in the tradition of Arn Anderson and Jake Roberts. An arm drag puts Rain down for a 2 count but battles back with a pair of forearm shots from her strong arm. She bounces off the ropes and is greeted with Stunning Steve�s old finisher, The Stun Gun. But that�s not enough to keep our heroine down.

Flock of Seagulls Guy distracts referee Ed Sharkey as Governor Bod and Lacey choke Rain out with the feathered boa. Rain�s best friend goes to the floor to bring on the pain even more by pulling down with all her weight on the damaged arm that is draped over the middle rope. Things cease to make sense for a moment as Governor Bod takes over where Lacey left off, but, Sharkey is looking right at him, and does nothing. This goes on for about 15 seconds as Lacey non-chalauntly re-enters the ring and then decides to divert Ed�s attention further so Flock of Seagulls Guy can get his opportunity in this �pass the pain around like a doobie� routine. Ed Sharkey obviously subscribes to Schiavone Logic. Too make matters worse, when he finally decides to admonish the heel managers for their misdeeds, he still makes a count when Lacey goes for a pin even though he clearly saw that all the damage Rain took was not administered within the confines of the rules. Well, I guess Ed Sharkey also subscribes to the Dr. Thuggypants �Ruck Fules� creedo. Luckily, Rain had enough to kick out. A woman at ringside is doing her best Nancy Benoit impression to cheer Rain on. Not letting up for a second, Lacey locks her friend in a standing armbar, and though Rain�s fist does hit the mat 3 different times, it is not ruled a tap out (which makes that Raw where Bisch forced Cena�s hand to the mat and ruled it a submission even more absurd than it already was). Rain is able to get to her feet and sells the arm injury well with a weakened whip to the corner and keeps up the assault with an elbow strike from the good arm. Lacey counters and whips her opponent to the opposite corner who then answers back with a flying body press. But it is still not enough for a 3.

Frustrations abound as Lacey goes back to work on Rain�s left arm by not releasing on a pair of Irish Whips forcing The Radiant One to suffer the recoil and tops it off with a falling arm breaker. Lacey�s arrogant pin and Ed Sharkey being out of position guarantee that Rain is out before the 3. Lacey then attempts �OLD SCHOOL!!!� But, Rain does something that apparently no opponent of The �Taker was ever smart enough to do, prevent the move with a counter attack of elbow shots and snap mare the old schooler off the top rope. Minnesota Home Wrecker #1 collapses to the mat, the pain in her left shoulder overwhelming her for the moment. Sharkey tries to count to 10 too fast, but Lacey is able to break the count. The two pound each other with elbow shots until a mistake by Lacey leaves her wide open for� THE RAIN DROP� which gets a 2. What is it gonna take for one of these two to stay down? Rain thinks a Michinoku Driver might do the trick (those look sick), but The High Rollers serve their purpose by distracting everybody which allows Lacey to snare Rain with the DDT that Gangrel and Edge made famous. Misfortune! Poor Rain fought so hard, but Lacey will fall at the hands of the Mistress of The Rain Drop someday. I promise you.

Match #4: Rain and ODB vs. Daizee Haze and Lacey for RCW

This tag team attraction sees Rain return to her villainous ways and she brought her roommate, Weird Cookie, along just in case the mammoth Amazon that is her partner isn�t enough. That�s right boys, The Bitch, yes, The Bitch, yes The Bitch is Back. ODB was apparently introduced before the tape started rolling, either that or she�s got the teleportation abilities of the incredible Nightcrawler, because she�s in the ring and we don�t know how she got there.

Lacey enters the scene and is all smiles as opposed to the screeching harpy from Hell that we got in her two previous appearances on the tape. Her tag partner, Daizee Haze, a rail thin blonde with a flower power gimmick and an outfit that was raided from Matt and Jeff Hardy�s closet circa. 1998(before they came under the tutelage of Michael P.S. Hayes), comes out, does a Dudleys-esque pose and the tape suddenly cuts to the ring introductions by a guy who looks like he stole the white tux jacket from Kane and Lita�s forgotten wedding. The announcer�s got marbles in his mouth or something cuz I can�t understand a word he�s saying. There�s a lot of indistinct jabbering among the crowd and it looks like a wedding reception is moving in after the show on account of all the dining tables on the far side.

The bell rings and the faces taunt the heels into making a charge which is thwarted by the old �evade and clothesline� ruse. As I listen closely, I hear what Rain warned me about(because she really hates it) taking place in a couple matches on the tape. You can�t make out a freakin� word they say, but the broadcast team rather than having a feed that only the home audience can hear, is having their commentary blasted over the PA system for the �Announcing Today�s Blue Light Special� effect. This boggles my mind simply because a broadcast team is only ever there for the benefit of the home audience. The fans who are actually in the arena don�t need any verbal spice added to the gumbo, being there live is flavorful enough.

Anyway, ODB and Rain are getting consolation from Weird Cookie on the floor while Daizee and Lacey pose and then start counting along with the ref. When the 401k planning meeting ends, our combatants in the ring are L-L-Lacey and the Bit-ch (ok, I�ll stop with the Elton John references now). Bee-yotch does some hip gyrations and is snapmared and hammer locked for it. ODB bounces off the ropes and Lacey does the RVD splits to avoid an attack. A little role reversal happens as the lone female member of Wu-Tang attempts to duplicate Lacey�s performance but proves to not be limber enough to pull it off. She gets a smack in the chops for being a wannabe. Biz-natch over sells the smack and ends up in the corner to tag in Rain. Beautiful drop toe hold by Lacey, who then brings The Radiant One to her feet with a front face lock and tags in Haze.   A nice chain of hammerlocks and armbars occurs, Daizee tags her partner back in and they give Rain a tandem arm drag.   Home Wrecker #2 keeps on the arm and brings the Flower Child back in. She is immediately the victim of a reverse whip/valet trip as the Weird Cookie serves his boss well. A team elbow shot by the heels results in a 2 count and The Bitch bitches about it.

Daizee is whipped to opposite corners twice, but ODB doesn�t follow up either time. On the third, she clotheslines her opponent in the corner and again only gets 2. Tag in Rain for a double back breaker. The Radiant One decides it�s time for her bread and butter play, The Cascade. She delivers several kicks and holds on to Daizee�s hair for the humiliation/whiplash factor. Haze is backed into the heel�s corner and The Mistress of The Rain Drop stomps a mudhole in her.   The Law Firm of Bitch and Cookie hold Matt and Jeff�s long lost sister down for Rain to deliver a front dropkick to the face because a Bronco Buster or a Stink Face is just silly. 2 count, time to tag in ODB.   The broadcast team is apparently biased in the faces� favor as they are leading a chant for Daizee, who then proceeds to use every pinning maneuver that hasn�t worked since before 11/28/79. Haze then attempts a cross body but it is turned into a fall away slam by ODB. Ref misses the hot tag to Lacey due to off camera shenanigans by Rain and Weird Cookie (presumably), which in turn allows for a phantom heel tag that has made refs look stupid since the advent of the sport.   Daizee can�t quite hook her crucifix but is still able to get The Radiant One into a pinning predicament which is immediately remedied by Weird Cookie who not only puts his roommate�s foot on the ropes, he pulls her free from the Hippie Chick�s grasp completely. Rain attempts a scoop slam, but Daizee beautifully counters it into a DDT.

With both competitors out, the ref lays on the Dave Hebner 50 year count to 10, which gives them enough time to gather their wits and tag out. Lacey gets in and goes ape, hitting a series of elbow strikes and her signature ballerina spin kick on both lady rudas which causes Rain to tumble to the outside. Las technicas are on the move as Daizee takes advantage of the chaos to baseball slide Rain. Lacey is ready to put the kabosh on ODB but wants it to be a team effort. Daizee�s not paying attention when her partner taps her on the shoulder and she accidentally back elbows Lacey in the chops. Rain drags Flower Girl out of the ring as ODB power slams Rain�s best friend for the win.

Match #5: Rain vs. Lacey for IWA Mid-South

Rain got highlights in her hair for this match. It�s a good look for her. The guys at ringside taunt Rain with dollars, a few actually willingly cough up the cash. Most of them are significantly taller than The Radiant One, forcing her to have to jump for her tips.

Dave Prazak has apparently turned heel since the TPI, and is spouting the �women have no place in this industry� rhetoric, explaining that the last time these two faced each other in IWA Mid South, he stopped the match and had them beat down. Prazak better watch his damn mouth. Nobody knocks these ladies and their in-ring ability which is light years ahead of 9/10 wrestlers employed by the McMahons right now, without getting at least a verbal barrage hurled in their direction. Lucky for him, it�s just his character talking and he and Rain are actually good friends off camera or he�d have some �splainin to do.

Rain is billed as hailing from Sacramento, CA and being hotter than toast. That California part has to be made up. Who in their right mind would purposely leave the warmth of The Bear Flag Republic to live in St. Paul, where it�s a total deep freeze for 6 months out of the year on average. I guess that�s the payoff to being hotter than toast, you generate your own heat like the Human Torch. Lacey is introduced as being from, and I quote, �Melon-uh..Minneapolis, Minnesota�, which I guess is better than what happened at Summer Slam �95 when the Non-Fink who did the entire under card announced Sean Waltman as being from �Minnesota, Minneapolis�, which, coincidentally, also happened during an introduction at the NIW show where the now-famous photo of Rain, Nora and myself was taken. All I have to say to the ring announcers of the world is, �Lay off the sauce, gents.�

The fans start chanting that word I hate at Rain and the match begins with an exchange of elbows and Lacey using Jim Hellwig�s old finisher, the flying shoulder block, to put her friend on the defensive. A ballerina kick later, and The Radiant One rolls to the outside to rethink her strategy. She baits her opponent into chasing her around the ring. Home Wrecker #1�s back in first and doesn�t hesitate to put the boots to Lacey as she tries to enter the ring. Both are on their feet now, and Rain unloads with rapid fire punches to the face. Home Wrecker #2 reverses the Irish Whip attempt and tries a hiptoss. Rain amazingly lands on her feet. The process repeats this time with Lacey doing the splits to avoid her adversary on the first pass and then executing a monkey flip on the second. Lacey tries a scoop slam but, The Radiant One shifts her weight to counter balance and proceeds to take her friend to the mat by the hair and instigates a beat down.

Now, in a corner, the ladies exchange loud chops. A whip to the opposite corner and Rain scores a clothesline. Lather, rinse, repeat the process and Lacey rolls Rain up for a 2. The Radiant One answers with a �hair-mare�(so called by Prazak), stomps the hell out of her friend, and puts a cherry on top with an impressive power slam. Rather than attempt a pin at this point, however, The Mistress of The Rain Drop decides to give the audience a piece of her mind.

The next set sees Lacey duck a clothesline and attempt a DDT. Rain kills that noize real quick with the Rain Drop #2. The fans in this venue seem to view women wrestlers only as Vince has portrayed them since the debut of Sable, but that doesn�t keep my favorite lady wrestler from bringing the pain as she uses her opponent�s hair for humiliation and to provide additional leverage in a camel clutch, then drops all her 121 lbs. straight down on Lacey�s lower back. A �2 dollar ho� chant begins as The Radiant One executes a double stomp/leg drop combo that only yields a 2. Rain delivers with a Rain Drop, but she�s now pissed at the fans and forgets to pin her motionless rival.

That momentary lapse in judgment allows Lacey to recover and answer back with a TKO, which apparently isn�t the impact move it was when Marc Mero was using it because she decides that a moonsault will be a better way to keep The Radiant One down. Rain proves Lacey�s logic was quite flawed as she prevents the moonsault by grabbing Home Wrecker #2�s legs. Now, backing out of the corner with her friend on her shoulders, Rain looks like she�s going to deliver an electric chair drop. Lacey is able to slip off back to solid ground. Waistlock, hammerlock, back into a waistlock, only spells doom for Lacey as The Radiant One gets her back on in the same dilemma she was a moment ago, which allows Rain to end it with the Japanese Ocean Cyclone Suplex, which she calls The Acid Rain if you subscribe to the idea of �don�t use 7 words when 4 will do.� Yay!!! Rain got Lacey back for the loss earlier in the tape.

Match #6: Triple Threat Match: Rain vs. ODB vs. Angel Williams

This match is hard to watch. I say that not because of the ladies involved or for match content. I say it because the combination of the white walls and the bright white lights practically snowblinds you. Also, not to sound like a pervert, but in wide shots, it almost appears as though Angel Williams isn�t wearing anything but her boots as she made the rather unfortunate decision to wear white for this match. Not to mention, there�s an additional liver and onion flavored icing on this cake, The �Blue Light Special� broadcast team from the tag match earlier is back and in full force. Luckily, we�ve got 3 very capable lady competitors in the ring to more than compensate for the suck factors.

Action starts with The Bitch slapping the taste out of Angel�s mouth. This causes Ms. Williams to back into a corner, which The Radiant One takes full advantage of with a series of kicks to the midsection. Rain whips Angel out of the corner, right into an ODB clothesline. After a moment of mutual admiration, the villainess duo take turns Benoit chopping the hell out of poor Angel. Bee-yotch lands one so hard that she has to shake the pain out of her hand. DAMN! The double teaming rages on with a double arm drag, and a pair of elbow drops. Rain goes for the pin, but Lady Wu-Tang feels that the �W� should be hers, and pulls her partner in crime off to make the pin herself, which prompts Rain to use �turnabout it fair play�. This causes a shoving match between heels and ODB tackles Rain to the mat.

The recent catty behavior has given Angel ample time to recover and she goes on offense by giving both opponents an arm drag, and pays special attention to ODB with a lovely springboard arm drag. A 2 count on The Biz-natch puts Rain on the attack with a flurry of forearms to Angel�s lower back. Thinking she wants to end this one early, The Radiant One hits with the Rain Drop. ODB breaks up the pin attempt and gives Rain the Oklahoma Stampede, which was very cool to see since it�s one of my favorite moves. Rain out in 2.

Bee-yotch tries an Irish whip, but The Minnesota Home Wrecker puts the brakes on and turns it into her stylish Russian leg sweep from her first encounter with Lacey. A 2 count and the camera pans across the ring so we don�t forget that Angel is still knocked silly by the Rain Drop she took moments ago. Meanwhile, ODB attempts a Scotty 2 Hotty style face crusher on Rain, but got some of the impact herself so with all three ladies dazed, there�s a 10 count on. I just noticed Weird Cookie is lurking at ringside. Will he be instrumental in the match? Was Bobby Heenan the greatest heel manager ever?� I thought so.

Rain and ODB are up first and start chopping each other like Samoa Joe and Coke Ma-chine. Angel, finally recovered from the vicious Rain Drop, goes to the top and delivers a flying body press for a double pin attempt that is foiled at the count of 2. Ms. Williams is all over the place with clotheslines and dropkicks that both ODB and Rain are recipients of. She goes to the ropes for momentum, but Weird Cookie makes her pay for that mistake with a trip, which takes her out of the equation to allow Cookie�s roommate to put the coup-de-grace on The Bitch with a Death Drop DDT. Rain is on a winning streak at this point in the tape with 3 in a row. Boo-Yah!

Match #7: Rain vs. Lacey Falls Count Anywhere for NeoPro.

Seeing this picture of Rain and Lacey with Kid Krazy at the Minnesota State Fair, in my mind, truly makes one wonder how two people who are obviously very close friends outside the ring, could ever engage in the unbridled carnage that I�m about to describe. Then, again, Terry Funk and Mick Foley are almost like father and son, and they�ve dropped each other on explosives, thumbtacks, broken glass, among other things, so I guess friend on friend mayhem isn�t a difficult thing for wrestling fans to envision.

If I remember correctly that which Rain told me, this was the first time a Minnesota promotion put on a women�s division match of this type, and they haven�t done it since. My guess is that it must have been a �Savage/Steamboat� moment, where this match eclipsed everything else on the card because of how awesome it was, and who the hell would ever want to try and follow that act again. I was also shocked to find out that this was not the first time that Rain and Lacey had engaged in combat this way. On the tape I hope to own soon, �The Best of Lacey and Rain�, I�ve been told that there is an equally brutal FCA from IWA Mid-South. If it�s anything like this one, it�s a classic, even if it is difficult to watch one of my favorite ladies get brutalized, especially if it is the match where she takes one of the worst bumps she�s had the misfortune of being dealt, an implant DDT on concrete. OUCH!!!!

Rain starts this melee off with a hammer lock that is parlayed with excellence into The Cascade. Lacey complains about a hair pull. C�mon, it�s a women�s match, hair pulls are the name of the game, not to mention that it�s no DQ. Toughen up, Buttercup.   Home Wrecker #2 momentarily puts Home Wrecker #1 in the full nelson. The Radiant One is slippery like she was in her match with ODB earlier in the tape, and counters with a school boy pin attempt for 2. Lacey�s protests are the stuff of comedic legend as she shrieks over a pull of the tights. In a surprising move, Rain�s best friend calls for a Greco-Roman Knuckle Lock. Rain accepts the challenge and in an interesting swerve, drops to her back and snares her rival with a head scissor takedown which only half works as Lacey is quick to be hip, no point, no fakin�, cookin MC�s like a pound of bacon (where the hell did that Vanilla Ice just come from), and uses her amazing agility to land on her feet. Rain retaliates with by snapping on a side headlock, which Lacey counters with a kick to the knee and a wristlock. Never one to be outdone, The Radiant One fires back with an elbow to the abs and turns the wristlock into a hammer lock.

The chain of rapid wrist and head locks continues and Rain punctuates it nicely with a painful looking chicken wing. Rain sends Lacey into the ropes. In an effort to perplex The Radiant One, the other half of the Minnesota Home Wrecking Crew slides out of the ring, only to slither right back in when Rain tries to pursue her. Well, enough is enough and The Mistress of the Rain Drop lets her on again/off again tag partner know this with a heavy front dropkick to the solar plexus. The first pin attempt and Lacey is out in 2. Irish whip by Lacey and expecting Rain to not be able to resist the laws of motion, does her splits evasion. But, knowing her friend�s methods inside and out comes in handy as The Radiant One puts on the brakes by holding onto the top rope. This forces Lacey to come to Rain and results in the former taking a tumble over the top rope, which as we all know back in the old NWA as well as Smokey Mountain Wrestling days would have been an automatic DQ. A few shots to the back and Rain escorts Lacey by the hair to the other side of the ring where the concession table is located. As the combatants make their way to the table, Kid Krazy(coincidentally wearing the same shirt he was wearing the picture from the State Fair) and the fans seated in that area, scatter to avoid what happened to that guy at ringside during the WM12 Iron Man match. Rain puts Lacey face first once into the table, then decides to take it to a more open space in the Cottage Grove Armory, where Home Wrecker #2 is then Irish whipped into the wall. Zoinks, yo!

To take it up a notch in the violence department, Rain steals the second camera man�s belt and proceeds to whip Lacey�s ass both literally and figuratively. For added good measure, Home Wrecker #1 uses the belt to choke out her adversary. Relenting for a moment allows Lacey a moment to slip away almost undetected and get back in the ring. Wanting to take full advantage of the �No Holds Barred� stipulation, Rain brandishes a chair and holds it aloft in a pose straight out of the old He-Man and She-Ra cartoons of the 80�s(nostalgia is good), before entering the ring with it. The power of Grayskull is not with The Radiant One, however, as Lacey gives the Van Daminator a little more flavor by using a ballerina kick to force the chair into Rain�s face. The subsequent pin only gets a 2 and Rain�s best friend is not at all pleased. She lays it on heavily with punches and chokes but still only gets another 2 for her less than technical display.

Lacey dumps her rival to the floor. Once there, Rain is whipped to the wall and given a taste of her own medicine when Lacey performs The Cascade. 2 count on the floor and The Radiant One fights back with forearm shots only to have her brief offense silenced by getting her face slammed into the table. Seeming to prefer not having to go to the floor for the pin when she could just do it on the table top, Lacey reaps the rewards of a non-chalaunt pin when Rain kicks out. A �We Want Tables� chant ensues whilst Lacey puts her tag partner on the floor with a drop toe hold that she segues into a very interesting display of flexibility in the form of a bow and arrow lock with bridge that has to be seen to really get the full effect. Rain just refuses to tap so Lacey, keeping with her M.O. of inflicting pain through pizzazz, performs a cartwheel that ends in a body splash. Amazingly, Rain is out in one and Lacey is visibly pissed.

Too many people standing in the way of the camera shields us from the action momentarily. When we have a clear line of sight to our battling beauties again, Rain has just bulldogged Lacey on a chair. Yipe! It�s not enough to get the job done though, which is just a testament to just how damn tough The Minnesota Home Wrecking Crew are. There�s another Nancy Benoit-esque female fan in the crowd who goes absolutely insane when Lacey whips Rain into the ring apron. The ladies take turns bashing each other�s heads into the apron before Rain sends Lacey into the 3rd row, the momentum forces her to slide into the 5th. Still only a 2 count. Maybe Alison Danger was right, you might just have to shoot these two to keep them down.

The crowd continues to block the action until it ends up back in the ring and Lacey climbs in with a new chair to play with. She tries in vain to execute a piledriver on the chair and The Radiant One reverses it into a high angle spine buster. It�s one of those moments when I truly begin to appreciate and understand why Nora has a tendency to avert her eyes while watching a match from the autograph table and a high impact or sick looking maneuver is performed. It�s not pretty to look at, to be certain. Once again, Lacey shows that she�s not going to give her friend the satisfaction of victory by kicking out at 2. Both competitors are exhausted and the ref starts the 10 count, which inexplicably starts a �Bullsh*t� chant from the audience.   Rain is the first to stir and make it to her feet with the chair in hand. She perches herself on the second rope and waits for Lacey to stagger in before she takes the dive with the chair out in front for maximum damage potential. A 2 count prompts Rain to try something rather innovative. She drags her friend over to the corner and slaps on Bret Hart�s Ring Post Figure Four as I mark out like crazy from the comfort of my living room. I love that move. She�s gotta use it more often. Lacey doesn�t appear to be enjoying it as much as I am, but she refuses to tap. Rain lets go and grabs yet another chair.

Lacey slides to the outside just as Rain is winding up to put her out of the park. Unfortunately, The Radiant One ends up doing the other thing that Babe Ruth was famous for, going down swinging, as her friend didn�t hold still to get whacked. Lacey knocks the chair out of her adversary�s hands and boots her in the abs. Crowd blocking our view again, though we can see that Lacey is setting up Rain for the Implant DDT. We don�t see, but DAMN, do we hear a sick as all hell thud as The Radiant One goes skull first into the chair resting on the floor. Rain is pinned, and I half expect Chris Tucker to run out and deliver his famous line from �Friday�:

�YOU GOT KNOCKED THE F*CK OUT!!!!!!!!�

All kidding aside, I give Rain and Lacey props for being tougher than most of those pussies in the business who wouldn�t dream of taking the bumps that these seemingly delicate flowers have. To say nothing of the fact that they don�t just take one, but several.   Cheers, ladies! You�ve proven that guys don�t have the market cornered on the hardcore division.

Match #8: Rain vs. Sumie Sakai for IWA Mid-South. Teaser match for The �Volcano Girls� Tournament.

(Rain has told me that this last match on the tape is actually one of her favorites because it was her only opportunity thus far to step in the ring with this very talented lady wrestler from the Land of The Rising Sun.)

After the extreme display of bodily harm we last saw Rain and Lacey in, it is actually fairly refreshing to see The Minnesota Home Wrecking Crew reunited as Lacey seconds her friend for this contest. The opponent, Sumie Sakai, comes out with a huge smile on her face and makes sure to slap hands with or hug everybody at ringside. On a personal note, I find myself experiencing something similar to what JG once wrote a column on Keller�s site. How he has certain behaviors that have come about as a result of being a wresting fan. One of them was that he would instantly think of Steve Borden and not Gordon Sumner when hearing the name Sting. In my case, when I hear the Japanese surname �Sakai�, I can�t help but immediately think of Iron Chef French Hiroyuki Sakai. Even though he was the last ever �King of The Iron Chefs�, I still say to this day that on his best day, he could never defeat the original Iron Chef Japanese, Roksoboro Mechiba.   I realize this is really off topic, but work with me, okay.

Now that I got that out of my system, Alison Danger is on commentary with a �got over the woman hating thing� Dave Prazak, and she informs us that she has had the pleasure of facing Sakai before and had her chest caved in by Sumie�s mighty front dropkick�4 times. Dang!!!!   It seems Rain moved to San Francisco since her last match in IWA Mid-South as the ring announcer now has her hailing from the City by the Bay instead of Sacramento. It�s kinda like how Ken Shamrock over the course of his pro wrestling career was billed as hailing from San Bernardino, San Diego, and Sacramento. As stated in the header, this match is a teaser for the �Volcano Girls� tournament that took place the following evening. I personally can�t think of a more effective way to plug a show, and I was the guy who covered a 3 mile stretch of Mason City, Iowa, in a blizzard, putting up flyers promoting my band�s performance at a seedy bar on the North End. That�s probably why Rain is a star and the band as I knew it, ceased to exist when I moved to Minnesota. Her method of promotion is far more effective.

We begin with another display in the fundamentals of chain wrestling. Rain clamps on a side headlock that her opponent craftily counters by falling backwards and turns it into a pinning predicament for Rain. 2 count, and The Radiant One is almost immediately in danger of losing again via a very impressive rollup maneuver by Sakai. OW! There�s that dropkick Alison Danger made reference to, and it looks like she could cave in a rhino�s chest with it. Sumie then tries to make Rain tap with a move invented by Gory Guerrero, pictured below:

As you can see, Sakai has Rain�s gorgeous flowing locks firmly in her grasp. To avoid being DQ�d for pulling the hair, when the ref gets to 4, Sumie lets go with one hand and immediately switches to the other hand, which visibly flusters the ref. But, that doesn�t matter. Smilin� Sumie is having a ball at The Radiant One�s expense. When the hold is finally broken, Rain is taken right back down by a flying head scissor. Home Wrecker #1 is up quick from that, however, steps back to avoid the impact from the on coming Sumie dropkick, and quickly turns her fallen opponent over into a Boston Crab. This crab is really cinched in, plus Rain is sitting far enough back that she can easily lean back for additional leverage to apply twice the pressure of The Walls of Jericho. When the Lady from The Land of The Rising Sun refuses to give up, Rain drags her over to the bottom rope and starts giving the ref the business. I had completely forgotten that Lacey was out there until she started choking Sakai out, but the subsequent pin attempt shows that Lacey didn�t choke her out enough. Rain works the back with a pair of kicks, tries the pin again, nope. Rain Drop #2, still no dice.

Sakai battles back by catching Rain in a crucifix, to no avail, to which The Radiant One answers with a hard forearm shiver that puts Sumie on the mat and Rain reeling from the recoil. The battle goes to the floor and the crowd parts like the Red Sea when Rain slings Sumie into the 3rd Row. DANG!!! It is, however, not enough to put Smilin� Sumie down. Rain decides it�s time to bring out the big guns. What initially looks like a fisherman suplex ends in a Michinoku Driver. Sakai kicked out, how she did it, I don�t know cuz she appears to be out cold. Weird Cookie�s Roommate picks up the Lady from the Land of The Rising Sun for a German Suplex, but it is blocked and reversed into an inside cradle that yields a 2 count. Sumie follows up with a fisherman buster, but, is still too dazed from the Michinoku Driver to cover Rain. Minnesota Home Wrecker #1 is up first and charges in. Sakai stun guns her opponent on the middle rope and leaves her draped there to receive the 619. Sakai goes airborne with a front dropkick from the top rope right into The Radiant One�s chest. A beautiful moonsault that would make even The Great Muta jealous puts the finishing touches on the wrestling aspect of this attraction. The heels from the Twin Cities are very cross indeed. To show their discontent with the outcome, they put the boots to Smilin� Sumie. This doesn�t go on long as two other participants in �Volcano Girls�, Daizee Haze and Mickie Knuckles, chase the bad girls away. Daizee slides under the bottom rope to pursue the fleeing Home Wreckers and damn near hangs herself as we cut to our last segment.

Bonus Feature: Rain vs. Lacey montage video produced by Dave Prazak

Regrettably, neither Rain or I know the song and the artist for this video, but that�s not really important anyway. What is important is that Dave Prazak, genius that he is, compiled some of the best bits from the Rain/Lacey feud that had some incredibly epic battles in it. It shows that these two have the in-ring chemistry of Savage and Steamboat, Benoit and Liger, Mysterio and Guerrero, Hart and Hennig, or any other legendary pair of opponents. Though the entire video is loaded with great moments, the one that will undoubtedly stick out in everybody�s mind is seeing Rain DDT Lacey on a wooden patio. DAMN!!!!

Well, that�s the adventure that is �The Best of Rain�. Easily the best $20 I ever spent on an indy wrestling video I knew little to nothing about going in. I said it a million times before, but I don�t think it can be stated enough. Rain, and her long list of opponents are shining examples of what a smart promoter can do with an essentially untapped resource. The ladies are just as good as the guys. In some cases better, and this tape is proof. If you want a rating, I give it a 9.95 out of 10. The 5 hundredths get shaved off because of the irritating �Blue Light Special� announce team in the two matches they appear. Since that is such a minor thing and it doesn�t pertain the overall in-ring performance of those involved, it doesn�t reflect that much on the score. For those interested in purchasing a copy of this fine display of real ladies wrestling, go to:

http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/radiantrain/ � for details. Also to learn more about her opponents on the tape, check out www.glorywrestling.com. You never know what gems are going to be in an arena near you.

As a closing thought, I�ve decided to use an answer to a question I asked Rain in preparation for writing this review. Figuring that inquiring minds would want to know, I asked The Radiant One if she had any advice for anybody, but girls in particular, who wants to break into wrestling. This was what she told me:

�Get in if you want to wrestle, work hard, don't be catty, don't get a big head, and stay away from the politics.�

Thanks for reading. I�m certain Rain thanks you too�.