02-22-08

" I have come to save the day . "

Boo-yah...here we go!! 

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Item # 1 – Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show.

If you listen to No Way Out According to ZAH (available exclusively on ClubWWI – cheap plug ), you’ll know just how absolutely blown away I was watching the worked-shoot segment featuring a returning Big Show and Mayweather.  

I didn’t know what to expect at first.   I’m not a boxing fan so I didn’t even really know who Floyd Mayweather was.   I thought the entire scene was planned-out and booked to perfection.   I wasn’t even sure if Mayweather was going to jump the railing or not...thinking maybe Mysterio would be choke-slammed and the “posse” would hold Mayweather back or something.   Once he got into the ring and the entire “posse” was there with him, I thought the timing of the segment was damn near perfect.   With the shove by Show, I just knew something was about to happen and I found myself really anticipating what was going to happen next.

Little did I expect to see the phenomenal unfolding of events that was to come next.

The first two punches were solid (but slightly pulled) shots that landed, but didn’t really appear to do much damage.   The third punch missed and that’s where the fun really began.   Show ducked the wrong way and Mayweather already had that fourth punch coming and that’s where he pretty much shattered Show’s nose upon impact.

You could immediately tell that Mayweather knew exactly what he did and his running for the hills, while scripted, seemed a LOT faster than what it should have been.   And then Show got up and looked legit pissed (his nose just got broken...you can't act being pissed at that).   I realize that Show lost 100 pounds and all, but DAMN that boy was fast!  

I honestly believe in my heart that if Shane hadn’t stopped Show when he did, that Show may have let his feelings get the best of him and had thrown the script out to get his hands on poor little Floyd.   You could tell that his demeanor began to change, though, and that kayfabe began to creep its way back into the situation.

Hell...even walking up the ramp and spitting out blood, Show was totally on-script...telling Shane that it was “his ring”.   I don’t know if WWE could have scripted a more realistic worked shoot than the one we got last Sunday.  Vince Russo was creaming his jeans wishing he could have something HALF as realistic.

Having said that, do I really want to see a Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather wrestling match??   I mean, I realize that there’s a need for a gimmick match at every WrestleMania that attracts buys from a casual fanbase...but is this really it??    In a wrestling match there is absolutely NO chance Mayweather survives and there’s NO way Show can carry something like that.   Of course, I never in a million years thought Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lawrence Taylor would be as good as it was.  

So this leaves the most obvious choice: a boxing match.

It’s no secret that Big Show trained to become a professional boxer during his absence from the squared circle.   It’s also no secret that Show quickly realized he’d never make it and simply used it as a way to lose a ton of weight.   So now this leaves us with a very credible solution reminiscent of WrestleMania II.   Show knows how to box and he also knows how to take a fall when required...so this seems like the best option at this point.

But again...does anybody want to really see Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show in a boxing match??

As a spectacle...perhaps.   As a drawing point for a $55 pay-per-view?   Not a chance.

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Item # 2 – Wait...how much is WrestleMania???

Sweet merciful crap, people...WWE bumped the price of WrestleMania to $54.95.   Are you freakin’ kidding me??   Fifty-five bucks??   Listen, I totally blew my load over the $50 price tag last year and fell for it...but I told myself that I wouldn’t do it again because it really wasn’t worth it.

Let me preface this by saying I also don’t dish out $40-$50 for any MMA, either.   I understand the need for these companies to make money, but with the real (and very easy) option of downloading a pay-per-view of ANY kind the following day (sometimes even just hours after it ends...and no, don’t ask me where) it simply doesn’t make any sense to dish out insane amounts of money just for the “live” feeling of something that I can even get on television (MMA included).

Why?   Because these things just aren’t special anymore.   Sure, every once in awhile you’ll get a surprise like Big Show/Mayweather but it’s totally a shot in the dark as to when that type of moment will actually take place.   You add on top of that a $40 price tag on a MONTHLY basis and it’s just ridiculous to expect wrestling fans to buy EVERY pay-per-view EVERY month at ANY price.

I realize WrestleMania is different...it’s special...it’s unique.   But I wouldn’t pay $55 to see the SuperBowl if it wasn’t available on free television.   I wouldn’t pay $55 to see the Daytona 500 if it was only available on PPV, either.   I wouldn’t pay that much to see any sporting event on my TV...or any movie or any mini-series or ANYTHING on my television.   It's my freakin' TELEVISION, people.  It just ain't happenin'.

I’d pay this to see WrestleMania live...or any PPV or live taped event in person...but $55 is NOT worth the price to me to see it on television.

Oh...and it’s $69.95 to watch it in HD.  

Ummm.........ain’t no f*ckin’ way.

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Item # 3 – More Hall of Fame possibilities.

Obviously, Ric Flair is the big name announced first to go into the WWE Class of ‘08.   But who else is available?   There are a few names that jump out at me:    

• Ricky Steamboat – For me, the most obvious choice after Flair.   My understanding is that the rights to the name “Ricky Steamboat” have now been purchased from his ex-wife (she got the rights in the divorce, apparently), which definitely opens the door.   You add to that the fact that Steamboat is actually working for WWE behind the scenes now, and that all leads to a very worthy induction candidate.   However, WWE might be holding off on Steamboat for a year that they need another big name.
• Owen Hart – Message board regular RD Lee has been telling people about an online petition asking that Hart be inducted into the Hall.   Unfortunately, there hasn’t been a lot of response yet but it’s still early, right?   In fact, there’s been quite the debate about whether or not Owen would have been a World champion should his life not been tragically cut short.   My thought is that Owen will definitely be inducted into the Hall...eventually.   Perhaps when a WrestleMania is held in Canada again...perhaps when Bret is ready to put together another DVD package...I dunno.   But it will happen...just probably not this year.
• Road Warriors – Why in the world...especially where Animal’s brother practically runs the place...these two guys are not in the WWE Hall of Fame yet is beyond me.   My thought is that this falls under the whole current attitude of “tag teams suck” that, for whatever reason, WWE has been following for a few years now.   That means the Bulldogs, the Nasty’s, the Steiner’s, the Rougeau’s, and the team named next probably don’t have much of a shot any time soon...regardless of how deserving they may or may not be.
• Demolition – Originally created to be a Warriors rip-off, Demolition turned into one of the best tag teams of the 80’s...and arguably of all time.   With the unfortunate recent passing Bryan “Crush” Adams, that leaves Barry “Smash” Darsow and Bill “Ax” Eadie ready and able to fill two spots in the Hall.   Add to that the fact that Darsow also played classic character Repo Man and Eadie was both the Masked Superstar and Super Machine...well, it doesn’t make any sense why they wouldn’t be inducted.
• Arn Anderson – With the induction of best friend Flair, I think it would also be the perfect time to induct the rest of the best Four Horsemen tandem.   Anderson only spent limited time as a WWE performer, but his current behind-the-scenes role would certainly come into play.   I don’t think a 2008 induction is a lock, though.
• Tully Blanchard – See Anderson, Arn...minus the whole “behind-the-scenes role” part.
• Barry Windham – See Blanchard, Tully.
• Mae Young – I think with the recent passing of Moolah and Young’s willingness to continue participating in crazy WWE skits and commercials, this is pretty much a given for 2008.
• Randy Savage – For reasons only Vince and Randy know for sure, this is NOT going to happen any time soon.
• Ted DiBiase – See Steamboat, Ricky...minus the whole “divorce” thing.
• Honky Tonk Man – Honky absolutely hates being told what to do, and my understanding is that being inducted into the Hall means you have to sign away certain rights (ex: action figure character residuals, etc.).   Until Honky’s need for recognition supercedes his need for individualism...I can’t see him accepting a much-deserved invitation into the Hall.
• Ultimate Warrior – Warrior hates Vince and, quite frankly, probably doesn’t really care about WWE’s “respect” or recognition for his contribution...unless it was for the right price.   Therefore, I don’t see this happening in ’08.
• Rick Rude – This might seem like it comes from left field, but Rude was a solid performer, a former IC champion, and was very much a part of WWE’s glory years of the 80’s.
• Jake Roberts – With his recent acceptance of WWE’s offer of rehab, this might be the perfect time to reward his hard work (he’s apparently doing quite well).   I, for one, would love to see The Snake get his due recognition.
• Gordon Solie – Dusty Rhodes and Jim Ross both believe Solie needs to be inducted...and this may be the year it happens.
• Rocky Johnson & Peter Maivia – This is all dependent on whether or not Rock decides to do the inductions.   If he doesn’t, this won’t happen in ’08.

***

Item # 4 – Hogan vs. Flair at WrestleMania?

Seriously...does anybody really want to see this as Flair’s last match?   Apparently Hogan does.   He recently did an interview with the UK Sun:

"They need a main event real bad," Hogan said of Mania. "When I think about Ric Flair styling and profiling, when I think about Hulk Hogan going [head to head] with Ric Flair in my backyard, Florida -- I think that's where it's at. They got a lot of tickets, brother, that need to be sold. The power of the 'Mania, brother? Could be strong. Either he'll put me out for good, or I'll put him out for good. One or the other. That would be the match of the new millennium. Hogan vs. Flair. Maybe get Vince McMahon as a special guest referee. Me and Flair both hate Vince."

Wow.   I have ZERO desire to ever see this match again.   It wasn’t that great back in ’91...it sure as hell won’t be any better in ’08.

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Item # 5 – Is the Money in the Bank match already won?

Please.   With Jeff Hardy’s recent run, does anybody else even have a chance at winning this match?   At least we know that with Hardy, Kennedy, and Benjamin thus far qualified it’s going to be a kick-ass match yet again.

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Item # 6 – Mistico in TNA?

The latest rumors going around are about TNA’s World X Cup 2008.   The rumors are that TNA is negotiating with CMLL in Mexico, NJPW in Japan, and FCW out of the UK.

What that means is that there is a possibility, however slim, that North American audiences could get an actual opportunity to see 2006’s Observer Wrestler of the Year, Mistico, in action.   Not only that, but maybe also another luchadore like Dr. Wagner Jr. or even once again see Tanahashi from New Japan.   If TNA pulls it off, and I’ve got little faith to be honest...it truly could be an incredible tournament.

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Item # 7 – LOSER OF THE WEEK.

Each and every week, I pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form. This week’s choice is a past winner and, while not a tremendous stretch, really didn’t have much of a good week.   Therefore, the "Britney Spears Loser of the Week" award this week has to go to... 

Paris Hilton!!!

She just can’t leave well enough alone.   She is just so much of an attention whore, she can’t help but not give a shit when she embarrasses the crap out of herself.   Good lord...why do clubs continue to let her drunk ass do stupid, drunk things ?   Why would anybody feel that having her in a movie would attract ANYBODY to pay money to see it, much less make the movie better (worse than From Justin To Kelly??)?   Why would even the Pussycat Dolls consider bringing her skank ass up on stage when she’s now becoming more and more of a laughingstock??

Sigh...

So for a chick who got cut out of her grandfather’s will for being a skanky crack-whore, you’d think that she’d do her best to stop being a skanky crack-whore.   Luckily for this part of my column, she doesn’t.   Therefore, it’s quite easy to see why Paris Hilton is once again ZAH's "Britney Spears Loser of the Week"!  

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Pillar to Post 

Each and every week (well...NORMALLY each and every week) I take three statements that you, the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com readers, have submitted on the hot topics du jour and then get two or three volunteers to give their thoughts and insight.  Ladies and gentlemen, this week I bring to you three great Insanity readers in The Rad Scrambler, DJ Lunchbox, & Xriya!!!

1. Agree or Disagree
Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show won’t do much for WrestleMania buys.

The Rad Scrambler : Agree.

Didn't Big Show face Akebono in a sumo match at WM 21?  How did that turn out?  I heard the rumors of Big Show training for a boxing career, and maybe this is the payoff, but I'm mildly curious about this feud at best. To be honest, maybe I'm not the most informed human being, but I've never heard of Floyd Mayweather.  I felt similar to the live crowds at No Way Out and Raw.  I was excited to see Big Show back, and in such great shape, but then the instant heel turn, feeling like I'm supposed to cheer for this boxer guy because he's a real fighter or something, or because he's a friend of Rey Mysterio, even though I don't know who he is, I don't know...  I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I don't care who Floyd Mayweather is, though I mean no disrespect.  Sounds like he's quite an accomplished young man. I imagine that there's a lot of boxing fans that don't know who Big Show is and don't care much either.  The potential outcomes don't do much for me either.  If Big Show wins, then he beat a boxer/fighter (BTW, would that go on Floyd's official fight record?) and I guess Big Show is built up as a bad ass?  Because he's a giant and has been in many extremely physical matches already, and was ECW champ last I saw him, so I need more proof he's a tough guy?  And if he loses, he loses his return match?  That doesn't make much sense.  Nope.  Hard to see how this will really drive people to the show.

DJ Lunchbox: Disagree.

This whole thing is WWE looking at TNA and saying "Celebrities? THIS is how you do celebrities." I don't even watch boxing and I’m interested. Show bleeding from the first encounter and then flinching in the second was all brilliant. I think that if they continue to walk the path that they are, then they will get the extra buys that they are looking for.

Xriya :   Disagree.

Mainstream Media will pick up on this eventually and depending on how the angle continues to develop interest could be generated among boxing fans, sports fans and those interested in the unusual. The Muhammad Ali vs. Antonio Inoki match is still remembered to this day in spite of the fact that it was a poorly fought contest. Mayweather and Show have such a stark height difference it will only add to the freak show aspect. If booked correctly and publicized well, I certainly think people's interest will be piqued.

2. Agree or Disagree
TNA's Impact cannot get any worse.

The Rad Scrambler: Disagree.

Mostly on the grounds that this has always been my philosophy about pro wrestling.  It was always better before, it's always bad now, and it's always getting worse.  That's what those recap promos are for.  Add a little dramatic music, cut out the BS, replay the most exciting parts, and history glows.  I mention this because I haven't watched TNA in a long while so this question gave me a reason to watch the show from Valentine’s Day and I got to see the show with fresh eyes.  Those recaps I was just talking about, I think TNA does those pretty good.  I like their voice-over guy.  It builds the whole "TNA is the next generation of wrestling" or simply "TNA IS wrestling" or whatever. Dramatic!  Bold!  Wow, must be a real thirst for competition in this promotion!  But then the show starts and it's all yuks - comedy that reminds me of sketches and improvs I used to see in high school drama class.  Everyone is goofy, and no one is really doing it well.  I guess Stone Cold Shark Boy and Curry Man could be chuckle-humorous if I didn't have Don West telling me how funny they're supposed to be.  I don't like Don West.  Actually, I don't think TNAs commentators and interviewers can get worse, so there's one point of agreement.  So yeah, the comedy, the ripping off of WWE gimmicks that are really old to begin with, the use of old WWE talent, the use of REALLY old WCW talent (Nash), this is all lame.  But when I watched I was reminded of an episode of Lucha Libre I saw at my folks house in AZ when I was visiting for Christmas, which I think is TNAs potential saving grace.  I don't normally get to watch Lucha Libre, so I thought what I saw was interesting, unique, absurd, etc.  It was so ridiculous, I was actually pretty entertained (and the wrestling was good in my opinion).  But I had no idea what the hell anyone was saying (except X-Pac who happened to be on), which brings me to this: that maybe this is TNAs super secret strategy.  With their relationship with New Japan, and all that non-mainstream wrestling, they could become like an American, English speaking Lucha Libre league, a show so bad that it becomes good and loved by cult fans.  So I guess we should just hope it can get worse?

DJ Lunchbox:   Disagree.

It can always get worse, but not by much. The deal with TNA is this; it's like an abusive relationship with a really hot girl. She's hot, and you know that she has serious skills. But she likes to hit you. Hard. Not in a fun way and often in the no-noes. Basically what I'm saying is, F*CK TNA. It's not worth your time and emotional energy.

Xriya :   Disagree.

Well, it can always be worse! I remember the days of Wrestling Challenge which was 1 hour of squash matches with the feature match usually being 2 mid carders. I don't understand how you can fail to figure out ways to get your brand over when you have so many talented performers. Christian, Booker, Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles. I agree the show is very bland right now and some of the angles make no sense or stretch the limits of believability but it can always be worse. They should accidentally stumble onto some interesting angles eventually…. Shouldn’t they?

3. Agree or Disagree
Triple H vs. John Cena vs. Randy Orton is the best possible WrestleMania main event in 2008.

The Rad Scrambler: Disagree.

HHH v Cena v Orton is the safest possible WM main event.  I'm coming at this as a long-time Jeff Hardy fan that had hopes of seeing him included somehow, so forgive my bias.  But he is hot right now, and I haven't heard a potential "feel good" match be made yet for this year.  Something like Guerrero winning the title, or Benoit, or Mysterio, or at least having the chance to win.  We'll have Taker and Edge on the Smackdown side going after each other's undefeated streak.  Ric Flair will probably retire.  Great.  And this RAW main event, like I said, will probably be safe and a good match.  But everyone involved has held the title a bunch of times before and have wrestled each other before, just not all at the same time.  No matter who wins, I'm bored.  If Cena wins, it's back to the status quo of his eternal reign before he got hurt.  If HHH wins, especially this "half-bad-ass, half-goofy-DXer, all smug" version, I'll just yawn.  If Orton wins, at least we still have an interesting top heel.  If Hardy was involved, whether he won or not, I'd be excited to watch because of the possibility of seeing someone achieve their dream.  Which is all I can reason as to why this main event was made.  Maybe, let all 3 of these long-time main-eventers have at each other, close some chapters, and let Hardy marinate a little more before they let him break through the glass ceiling. No, I'm going to be watching the Money in the Bank Ladder match with more anticipation than the main event, hoping for a Hardy win and to see him claim the title later this year...

DJ Lunchbox:   Disagree. 

I’m so tired of watching these three on TV in the main events. It reminds me of the Batista syndrome that Smackdown suffered from for a while there. I would be fine with this match if only it was 1 less of them, and 1 more of someone else. ANYONE else. I realized the other day that I don't give 2 shits about Orton, Cena or HHH. I watch the main events for the WWE Championship. That's the thing I care about. If Orton, Cena or HHH were wrestling on RAW and the title wasn't involved I would be fast forwarding with my magic Tivo powers. But knowing that I and people like me will watch the main event, regardless of who's in it, because of the title, shows that Vince McMahon is brilliant in a very real and terrifying way.

Xriya :   Agree.

It’s hard to figure out something to do with Cena if he’s not in the main event picture. Can you see him on the undercard vs. JBL or Kennedy? The WWE has established their WrestleMania catch-all, with that being the Money In The Bank ladder match. It is easy to stick the very popular Jeff Hardy into that kind of match as opposed to seeing Cena or HHH doing ladder stunts. (Plus do you really wanna see either one take a Joey Mercury style facial) . The only other situation they could have put Trips in would have been a DX reunion match (again) and I don’t think DX vs. Carlito and Santino or Snitsky and Big Daddy V = Boffo Buys right now. (Although, people love DX.. They’d probably cheer DX vs. Mother Teresa and the Pope). When you do booking, its not just tossing Hardy v Orton into the main event. It’s also what do you do with Cena, HHH, Michaels, etc.. They need to be placed in solid prominent spots to look strong and keep their marketability. This year, with the general weakness with the Raw Heels (JBL? heh, Umanga has jobbed to half the roster), this may be the best they can do.

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Great job, guys! I'm looking forward to seeing who joins me next week.  

What...you've never participated before?   Or maybe you have and would like to do it again?

Hey...you ALL have a chance to be part of an upcoming column.   You get a chance to have your thoughts on the crazy world of professional wrestling read by thousands every week.   This truly is open to everybody!   And with a new year comes a new list...I'm still basically starting from scratch, people.   Contact me NOW and you'll be put at or near the top of the list.   Why wait?  

I want readers to participate!

  ,

 ,

No problem.    Seriously...it's not a problem at all.    NOW is the time for you to volunteer.    Really...RIGHT NOW!!    It's a brand new year and I need a brand new list of guest columnists.

You can let me know either by e-mailing me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com , hitting me up at ZAH Nation (found on the Insanity Message Board ), or look me up on Facebook as ZAH Insanity and letting me know that you'd like to participate (and then join the Insanity Facebook page ).    

So until next week, take care.