From WorldWrestlingInsanity.com

ZAH
Shakin' My Head: WWE firings, TNA vs. the X-Division, Hogan vs. Austin at WrestleMania, ECW doesn't suck, the new ZAH/Bulldog "Aaron Wood Sucks" sign contest spectacular, Loser of the Week, plus much more!!
By ZAH
Jan 16, 2009 - 9:46 AM

01-16-09

 

“ Isolation is the oxygen mask... "

 

Boo-yah...here we go!! 

 

***

 

Item # 1 – There were a couple of releases this week.

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Well, the WWE ax fell on quite a few recognizable names over this past week…even though not nearly as many as some had predicted.

 

Once again…Funaki is safe.

 

Basically, WWE announced that it was be cutting approximately 10 percent of its work force as part of the program to cut $20 million in costs in fiscal 2009. The cuts were expected to save the company $8 million. Talent cuts, as expected, were part of the layoffs.

The first casualty?

 

Justin LaRouche aka Bam Neely

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Not a big surprise here. I don't know if he was ever given a shot to really show what he could do, but he never really did anything for me.   That, along with being a bodyguard for CHAVO, really didn’t spell out “big-time future” for the guy.   At least Ezekial is with Kendrick, who seems to have found a nice little spot for himself on Smackdown.  I don’t know if he’s got “it” so I think his potential wrestling future may be slim especially in an economy like this one where nobody is really looking at bringing in a lot of “name” guys.

 

Here are some more of the notable names:

 

Accie Connor aka D-Lo Brown

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ClubWWI’s very own D-Lo was cut on Day One.   That sucked.   This man, even in a non-wrestling role backstage or as a trainer, should be a pick-up for any promotion in the world. The guy brings experience, charisma, and the ability to entertain. While not really meeting WWE's new formula on what a wrestler should be (which makes you wonder why they hired him in the first place), Brown could better serve any promotion anywhere.   I’m hopeful JG can bring him on board soon to ClubWWI so we can find out just why WWE dropped the ball on him so quickly when he could have been used in a tremendous “put youth over” role on any of the three brands.

 

Sean Morely aka Val Venis

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While this is a shame because Morely is a very talented veteran, I think it was a long time coming, especially considering his recent health issues (i.e. elbow surgery). Much like D-Lo Brown, though, Morely brings a LOT to the table and would be a fine addition to any locker room on the planet. If he decides to stay in wrestling, he'll be booked frequently on the indies in spite of the current climate.   Plus, he’s still a major name from his time down in Mexico pre-WWF…so I think he’ll do just fine.   I get the feeling, though, that wrestling may not be in Morely’s future.   I could be wrong, but it’s just a gut feeling.

 

Referee Jimmy Korderas

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One of many referees who got the boot, Korderas probably had his exit sped-up from having to deal with health issues. What sucks for Korderas is that he's been with WWE since 1987. Damn...you'd think he'd have the opportunity to do SOMETHING else. What’s worse is that his father passed away on the day he was released.  

 

Yikes.   Poor bastard.

 

Kevin Fertig aka Kevin Thorn

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Fertig has been with WWE for years…at least in developmental. He was a guy who is tall, semi-talented, and has a look that WWE enjoys. The problem, though, is that WWE is so bloody intent on making him into a character or a gimmick that they completely f*cked up every chance he had at becoming successful.

 

He came in initially as Mordecai (bust), then came into ECW as a vampire (double bust), then they tried him as a “non-vampire but still vampire-ish” (wow), then the latest came a week or two ago when they thought about putting him into a stable. The guy can work just fine, he's got some talent, and should be a fine pick-up for just about any promotion (though, realistically, I can't see him working a PWG or ROH style.   I just don't know if he's that good of an actual wrestler).

 

Tim White

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White is a former referee who had to retire early because of a shoulder injury. He then (for some odd reason) was involved in a number of online "suicide" vignettes where he would try to kill himself but always ended up f*cking things up. He had been working backstage for the company and had been with them for years. At least he still reportedly owns The Friendly Tap, which is his bar in Rhode Island.

 

Ronnie Arniell aka Gavin Spears

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I've heard a lot of good things about Spears from his time in OVW to his work in FCW. Dave Meltzer even claimed that Spears is generally regarded by “the boys” as the best all-around performer in the entire developmental system.   I've only seen him work a couple of times, but I'll trust that he's as talented as everybody says. So having said that, I'm sure he'll do just fine on the indie scene.   I see him going the Brent Albright route and giving a company like ROH a try in order to further develop his skills.   If he’s as good as everybody says, he’ll be picked-up in Japan and/or Mexico and/or Europe for tours in no time.

 

Bob Remus aka Sgt. Slaughter

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Slaughter has been working as a producer (agent) for the company for quite a few years, in addition to making occasional in-ring and on camera appearances for the occasional pop.   This one surprised a lot of people, but maybe his years and years of service resulted in a salary too high to justify.   I dunno, but definitely one very high on my “wish list” for JG to interview in 2009. 


Ron Simmons

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Basically, Simmons was just making sporadic TV appearances for his "Damn!" gimmick and did some promotional work for WWE in the last year or so.   I’m sure he’ll be brought back for the occasional “one-off” appearance.

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***

 

Item # 2 – The only REAL good thing to come out of that horrific “Genesis” PPV??

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I don't know if this title win by Alex Shelley makes up for the months of burial and embarrassment that the Motor City Machine Guns have had to endure, but it certainly is a very cool thing.

The problem, though, is the continuous "non-caring" that TNA management displays for the X-Division...which is (was) the ONLY thing that truly separated TNA from WWE in terms of in-ring product.

Oh yeah...there's that silly 6-sided ring, too.   I think we all know just how quickly that wears off.

I went to the TNA website on Monday and Tuesday to read-up on the results for Genesis…and it was blatantly obvious that my point is valid. I searched through all of the pictures from the event and realized that there wasn't ONE picture featured from the Shelley/Sabin match. NOT ONE!!   Widely considered the 2nd-best match on the entire card has zero pictures on the website…but there were at least three or four of Abyss & Matt Morgan.   Rather, there was the above posed pic taken after his match.

 

Sigh.

But let’s face the facts…TNA management haven't cared about the X-Division for a couple of years now. They are so intent on being WWE-lite that they just ignore everybody else.

Tell me something...other than AJ Styles and Samoa Joe, over the past three years who have TNA built-up to be a future main eventer? Who is a bona-fide TNA superstar that can carry the company into the future?

I'll tell you the answer....nobody. 

All the talent in the world, and yet there isn't a single realistic singles star that has been built-up to be a future main eventer.

James Storm...Robert Roode...Hernandez...possibly Jay Lethal...these are guys that have the ability to work matches in the main event of a PPV. But at this point, NONE of them have been built-up to have even remotely a chance of being a draw. 

And TNA has absolutely nobody to blame but themselves.   They’ve been absolutely too reliant on ex-WWE guys with "name recognition". And y’know…the huge names like Kurt Angle and Sting and Christian and Mick Foley and Scott Steiner and Booker T and Rhino have done soooooo much for TNA's ratings and PPV buy rates.

So for as awesome as it is to see Alex Shelley wear the X-Division title, it also doesn't mean squat because TNA isn't planning on doing anything with him any time soon.

And that sucks...but then again, so does TNA.

 

***

 

Item # 3 – Hogan wants Austin at WrestleMania.

 

Oh god.

 

Now, let it be know that I’m not opposed to a potential Hogan vs. Austin match…even if neither one of them can work a lick due to age and/or injuries.   The spectacle itself would be worth the price of admission, I think.

 

But you really need to wonder how much of a whore Hogan truly is to want this match…to be begging for this match.

 

Yes the payday would be huge…yes he’s paying out a ton to legal situations at the moment…but he’s still a millionaire a few times over.   Does he REALLY need the money that bad?

 

I think it goes deeper than just dollars and cents.   I think Hogan feels as though a generation passed him by when Austin and the WWF Attitude era blew up.   I think Hogan, after battles with icons like the Rock and Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle and Triple H and Vince McMahon himself, feels there is just one match left that has never really come about: Hogan vs. Austin.

 

So while the money here could be huge for both men, I think the biggest thing driving Hogan here is ego (surprise, surprise).   I mean, why else would he grovel to Jim Ross on the Bubba The Love Sponge show about DOING THE JOB for Austin??

 

It’s not about who wins or loses…it’s about feeding the massive ego and actually getting that one match that he feels he needs.   Whether or not Austin’s ego provides him a similar need remains to be seen…but I’d buy a WrestleMania with those two going at it.

 

***

 

Item # 4 – The ClubWWI “Aaron Wood Sucks” sign contest!

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If you heard the latest ClubWWI spectacular featuring the superstar pairing of yours truly and Canadian Bulldog, then you already know that we created a contest “on the fly” that has the potential to be the single greatest event in the history of ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

….EVER!!!

 

Basically, Bulldog and I want to see a sign that says, “Aaron Wood sucks”.   But not just a sign…we want to see it on television, DVD, or pay-per-view.   We want this sign to last for all time in the annals of wrestling history.   Whether it’s on RAW, Smackdown, ECW, ROH, or hell…even TNA, Bulldog and I want visible (preferably HD) proof that “Aaron Wood sucks” was in clear view for the world to see.

 

And what do you win?  

 

Well…we’re still working on that one.   Suffice to say, there will be at least ONE dvd involved, at least TWO weeks of constant mentions on ClubWWI’s two favorite non-JG audio programs, at least THREE weeks of pimpage and kudos in both this very column and in Bulldog’s column, and the love and admiration from wrestling fans from around the world.   There could be more…we’re still working out the kinks.

 

So whaddya say, peeps?   You up to the task????

 

***

 

Item # 5 – ECW isn’t that bad, afterall.

 

I took the time this week to actually watch ECW this week. I had some opinions on the product and some of the stars that I don't normally get to watch on a weekly basis:


DJ Gabriel & Alicia Fox. Sigh. First and foremost, I absolutely HATE and DESPISE the dancing gimmick. HATE it. DESPISE it. Did I mention that I hate and despise the dancing gimmick? Yes? Good.

Now Gabriel looks like he's got a TON of potential...much more so than Jack Swagger (more on him later). I see charisma and skill and that "intangible" that some people have and most people don't. He just needs an immediate update in gimmick. And while Alicia is attractive, she brings nothing else to the table.

 


Paul Burchill and Katie Lea are two very talented performers. I'm a big fan of Burchill and I think he's more than capable in the ring. For whatever reason, WWE hasn't been able to market him correctly (sounds extremely familiar to a lot of other performers). He was a freakin' pirate, for Chrissakes. And then they tried some incest storyline that went nowhere fast...and now he's just another guy. It's too bad...I really think he's got a ton of potential.

 


The Boogeyman was high on my "fun list" for a very long time. Now it's tired. VERY tired. But he's entertaining and I'd still take a squash match from him over a pinfall victory of Kung Funaki over MVP any day of the week.

 


Tommy Dreamer's "final push". Hmmmm. Well, if anybody has deserved it I think it's Dreamer. I mean, it's only ECW. Will anybody really care? I don't think so. But the guy deserves a little final push for all he's given to WWE and for how loyal he's been. His speech was realistic and well performed (probably the best of his career, I'd dare say). So while I don't know if I need to see Dreamer retire as ECW champion, I don't really have a problem with a final push for the guy because...again...it's only ECW.

Now...on to the main event. Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger for the ECW title. 

 


Before the match, even Hardy gave one of the best promos I've seen him deliver. Short...sweet...and INTENSE. Hardy has always had a difficult time with his delivery, but both he and his brother have improved dramatically over the past year or so in the promo department. He's been a great ECW champion and has given both the title and the show a little bump of respectability that it needs.

 

And Jack Swagger? I really, REALLY don't see the big deal about this guy. He doesn't have a great look. He's not the greatest promo guy in the world. He doesn't come across as the most charismatic, either. And he doesn't bump any better than somebody like Burchill or Gabriel. So what is it? 

He's got heat, for sure. But you give somebody like Burchill or Elijah Burke a push like that and they'll get heat, too.

I dunno...I just don't see it. He's just another guy, to me. He doesn't suck...so does that mean he's ECW championship material?





Meh…

 

 

***

 

Item # 6 – Edge is one lucky bastard.

 

The more I think about it, the more I think Edge truly has it made.  I mean c'mon now, he's gone from this...


...to this...



...does it really get any better? I think not.

 

 

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Item # 7 –  If Brother D-Von can main-event a pay-per-view…

 

...then I guess anybody can. Isn't that right, Kip?









 




Whatever. You suck and so does the promotion you work for.   

 

***

 

Item # 8 – LOSER OF THE WEEK.

Each and every week, I pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form. This week’s winner is somebody who you’ve probably never heard of.   And in a week where there were lots of potential winners, this guy stood out to me and caught my eye.   T his time around, ZAH's Loser of the Week is...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feliks Goldshtein!!!

 

 

    

 

 

WHO???

 

Oh you’re gonna love this one.

 

This goof decided he wanted to rob a bank back on January 10th.   Tough economic times and all…I can understand.   I don’t condone it, but I can understand it.   Feliks decided to wear a ski-mask in order to pull off his great heist.   No big deal, right?   All the best bank-robbers wear ski masks to hide their identity.   So what did Feliks do that was so insane?

 

He stood in line WHILE WEARING THE SKI MASK.

 

No…that’s not a tip-off to anybody working there.   A guy wearing a full ski mask standing in line at a bank.   No red flags there.   The teller asked him to actually remove the mask when he made his way to the front of the line-up in order to properly assist him.   HA!!

 

This guy is brilliant…I can’t imagine how he didn’t get away with it.

 

Oh…and runner-up this week was Marcelino de Jesus Martinez, who was the California “Father of the Year” candidate that was arrested for attempting to sell his 14-year old daughter $16,000, 100 cases of beer, and some meat.

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Seriously.

 

But congrats go out to Feliks “making his parents proud” Goldshtein for becoming ZAH's "Loser of the Week"!!  

 

 

 

 

 

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So that's it for this week.    I appreciate you clicking the link that brought you here and for reading the column every week. I mean, if it weren't for all of you reading I would just be blogging to myself...           

 

Got something to say?    You can let me know either by e-mailing me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com , hitting me up at ZAH Nation (found on the Insanity Message Board ), or letting me know that you'd like to participate by checking out my new online blog The World According to ZAH !    And then there's the ZAH MySpace page (add me...you know you want to). Oh...and then join the Insanity Facebook page . 

 

Whew!    Got all that?    Good.    That's all I got for now, kids.    Until next week...take care.

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