03-28-08

" You think I'm bluffing.   I think I'm not ."

Boo-yah...here we go!! 

***

Item # 1 – Just over a million buys.

That's my official prediction for WrestleMania this year.   I don't know...there's just something about this year's show that isn't clicking with me too much.   I mean, on paper the matches look good and all...but there's just some intangible that I can't put my finger on that is telling me that this year's show isn't worth going out of my way to see other than for the spectacle of the show itself in front of 70,000 people.

Flair vs Michaels?   Meh...I guess.

Big Show vs. Mayweather?   It's gonna take an incredible performance by both men to be able to come off as legitimately entertaining.

Money in the Bank?   Unless the booking is different and original, it really looks like it won't be any more exciting than last year's match or the year before.

JBL vs. Finlay?   They are fighting over a leprechaun.   Just sit on that for a second and get back to me.

Batista vs. Umaga?   Both men will need to be at the top of their game to make this any better than 10 minutes of kicks and punches.

24-man battle royal for ECW title shot?   Who cares??

The Playboy Diva match thing?   Please...

Don't get me wrong...it's not like I hate the card because I don't.   But if you showed me this line-up at any other time during the year for any other PPV, I'd tell you the exact same thing.   The intrigue over WrestleMania this year is the two main events and WrestleMania itself...which is always interesting.

Much like how most SuperBowls come off, the intrigue is more about the spectacle than the actual game itself.   Other than Edge vs. Undertaker and Cena vs. Hunter vs. Orton, nothing leaps off the page as "unbelievable" or "must see".   These five guys are the upper echelon of this business and will be pulling out all of the stops in order to make their mark in Mania history.   But continuing to use the SuperBowl reference, I'd say that's like looking forward to the quarterbacks "facing off" or seeing which running back will get the most yards.   Once the marquee match-ups are hyped, the rest is really just gravy.

So yeah...the point is that I don't think I'm alone in my thoughts on the overall show.   I really don't think Mayweather's boxing fans are gonna cross over...I really don't see anybody's "it factor" level approaching Donald Trump's from last year...I don't know if certain undercard matches have been properly hyped...so at the end of the day, while I believe WrestleMania will get over 1 million buys, I don't think that they will approach the record buys that they had last year or will they break the all-time record for a wrestling event.   I just don't think this year's card is strong enough.

***

Item # 2 – Better late than never?

Flair vs. Michaels was saved by this past week's RAW...and I think that's a safe statement to make.   The entire Flair storyline has been underwhelming at best over the past few months...with Flair eking out fluke victories on television and then getting clean wins over Kennedy and MVP on PPV.   It just didn't seem right.   I don't think it did anything to build-up Flair.   And then to top things off the whole Vince McMahon match-up, which should have been weeks of build instead of minutes, seemed completely underwhelming as you absolutely knew Michaels was going to get involved with things...and that hurt Flair as much as anything else they did over the past few months.   I mean, if Flair can't f*cking beat Vince McMahon one-on-one...then what shot in hell does he have of ever beating Shawn Michaels??

Of course, between the incredible in-ring promo of Flair and the booking of him to make the world champion submit certainly helped a lot...but you just gotta ask yourself if it's too little, too late.

At this point, does it really matter that Flair is wrestling in his last match?   We all know that Shawn is gonna bump like a madman for Flair and that this will probably be his best match in over ten years...but has the angle really taken off enough to justify being Flair's final run?

I don't really know...but I'm sure I'm not the only one who really isn't overly excited to see Flair's last match.   I just want it to be done and over with so that he can move on to other areas that can help the business.   I know that Flair doesn't want to be a trainer or an agent, but that's really crazy to me.   At his age with his experience, there is nobody on the planet that wouldn’t benefit tremendously from him working the gorilla position or trying to teach some wetback how to interview backstage.

I'm still going with my original prediction that Flair actually wins the match and retires on his own terms...but honestly, at this point, I don't care nearly as much as I should.

***

Item # 3 – What was he thinking??

On a weekend where the tension between WWE and TNA management is at a fever pitch (I have no idea why, though), one individual stepped-up to the plate last night to say that he wanted to be the one individual that will be remembered as the guy who crossed company lines.

That man?   Robbie McAllister!!

Last night on the live TNA Impact, the cameras showed Robbie sitting in the crowd watching the show.   They didn't use his WWE name so as to not get into any legal troubles, but apparently TNA employees immediately recognized him when he was outside lined up with the rest of the fans (he's the one with the beard...so it's quite easy to recognize the guy).

Now, you just knew that somebody from WWE was gonna be watching Impact last night, too. I mean, they will watch the competition to see what they're doing and such.   PW Insider reported that it wasn't too long after Robbie was shown on the air that he ended up leaving the show with the thought being that WWE officials contacted him and were upset over the situation.

Ummm...ya think???

Listen, this isn't like CM Punk doing a one-off for Ring of Honor.   This isn't Jerry Lawler wrestling Steve Corino for Absolute Intense Wrestling.   This is a nationally televised wrestling competitor who, regardless of how much of a non-threat they are at the moment, won't hesitate for a split second to exploit WWE for any reason.

How do you think it looks to have a guy from your roster shown sitting in the crowd of your competition, enjoying the product?   I mean, you NEVER saw any WWF guys sitting in the crowd watching WCW...I can vaguely remember when any WWF guy was shown sitting in the crowd watching an ECW show that they weren't actually part of.

Well...at the end of the day you can just imagine the burial Robbie just brought upon himself.   I mean, I realize it's not like WWE is doing anything with him other than squashing the shit out of him and Robbie on a weekly basis so there's the argument to be made that he's simply unhappy and doesn't care either way.   However, the guy worked his entire life to come up with a gimmick that would get him signed by WWE so I can't see him being that unhappy.

Either way, it was a dumb thing to do.   This isn't TNA guys sitting in the crowd of the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony to see Ric Flair inducted.   This is Paul Shaffer sitting in the crowd of The Tonight Show.

Thanks for coming out, Robbie.   

***

Item # 4 – I can't wait to see Super Mojado!!

Apparently there is a new wrestler making the rounds in Southern California.   This guy is named Super Mojado, which apparently is "roughly translated" into SUPER WETBACK.   Apparently (and I keep using that word because this seems just too incredible to be true), this guy wrestles in a mask and fights for the rights of undocumented immigrants.   Kids, I can't make this up .   The Saturday night show in Van Nuys, California (according to F4WOnline.com ) was, "a fund-raiser to help out 100 undocumented workers who got busted by immigration last month.   The building seats 200 and they drew double that, and raised $4,000 for the cause."

JBL would have a field day with this guy.

***

Item # 5 – WrestleMania predictions.

Nostradamus is here, beeaches.   If you want more detail, you'll have to tune into my pre-Mania audio at ClubWWI on Sunday.

• Money in the Bank ladder match for shot at any world championship: MVP vs. Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. John Morrison

-           I know I said that I wasn't overly excited about this match earlier, but I can't lie to myself...this has the potential to be a great match.   With the exception of Carlito, everybody in this match has proven to be able to high-fly with the best of them and has a legitimate shot at winning now that Jeff Hardy's out.

-           WINNER: MVP

,

• Belfast Brawl: Finlay vs. JBL

-           The only real positive that comes out of this match is that these two guys are gonna beat the ever-lovin' shit out of each other.   JBL said a couple of months ago that he'd be in perfect wrestling shape by Mania and that his match would blow people away.   I dunno...but I think lowered expectations may be the only way to make this match good.

-           WINNER: JBL

,

• RAW vs. Smackdown: Batista vs. Umanga

-           Is this really the best they could come up with?   I mean, both guys can pull out a decent match from time to time, but if this is anything other than clotheslines, punches, kicks, and slams I'll be impressed.

-           WINNER: Batista

,

• 24-man battle royal for shot at Chavo Guerrero's ECW title: Snitsky
  Brian Kendrick, Matt Striker, The Miz, Trevor Murdoch, Lance Cade, Deuce, Domino, Chuck Palumbo, Mark Henry, Elijah Burke, The Great Khali, Val Venis, Jamie Noble, Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Hardcore Holly, Cody Rhodes, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Tommy Dreamer, Jessie, & Festus.

-           I'm not a huge fan of battle royals, but this is a decent way to warm up the crowd and get people onto WWE.com.   I expect next to nothing out of this match.

-           WINNER: Kane

,

• BunnyMania Lumberjack match: Beth Phoenix & Melina vs. Ashley & Maria

-           Even Snoop Dogg won't be able to make this match less than SUCK.

-           WINNER: I don't care.

,

• Special attraction match: Floyd "Money" Mayweather vs. Big Show

-           Apparently Show and Mayweather have been training with Matt Sydal, with Sydal playing Mayweather's role in an attempt to script this match piece by piece and make it as good as they absolutely can make it.   I have my doubts that this can be anything other than a train wreck.

-           WINNER: Mayweather (why else would he agree to participate?)

,

• Career Threatening Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair

-           It's been reported that Flair hasn't trained this hard since his matches with Ricky Steamboat back in '89.   Add to that the fact that Michaels knows that the weight of Mania really falls on his back and you've got a combustible mixture.   Neither men want this to be anything less than awesome...but I just don't know if even HBK himself has what it takes to be able to pull a fantastic match out of the 59-year old legend.

-           WINNER: Flair

,

• WWE championship: Triple H vs. Randy Orton © vs. John Cena

-           While maybe not the most exciting triple threat in Mania history, this should certainly be a solidly wrestled contest.   All three men are going to want to give it their all and make their match on par with the last ***** match WWE has seen, the Mania classic Benoit/Hunter/Michaels.   Will this match that?   Hell no...but it should be a very solid match-up.  

-           WINNER: Orton

,

• World championship vs. WrestleMania undefeated streak: Edge vs. Undertaker

-           I believe that this will end up being the final match on the card so that the people can go home happy.   This will be booked brilliantly, with Taker fending off the Edge Heads to keep his winning streak alive and well.

-           WINNER: Undertaker

***

Item # 6 – LOSER OF THE WEEK.

Each and every week, I pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form. This week’s choice isn't one person...it isn't even a group.   This week's choice is something slightly different.......a family.   What?   Yep.   This week's choice is...

The Hogans!!!

Ouch.   I mean, you knew it was coming but it certainly didn't make it any easier to swallow.  This past week, the family of John Graziano filed a lawsuit against the Bollea family for the accident that left him in a vegetative state.

Where Nick was the one driving, why were Hulk and Linda included?   Well, money is the biggest reason.   But the "official" reason was that Hulk is liable as the owner of both cars, as the parent who signed the driver's license application for Nick and assumed responsibility for his driving, and as a person who knew of his son's and his son's friend's propensity to drive recklessly. Linda is liable for knowing about her son's reckless driving and even encouraging his behavior.

This might get settled as the Hogan's truly feel bad for the Graziano family...but if this goes to court you're gonna see a dirty battle, I think.

So yeah...congrats have to go out to the Hogan family for being ZAH's "Britney Spears Loser(s) of the Week"!  

***

Pillar to Post 

Each and every week (well...NORMALLY each and every week) I take three statements that you, the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com readers, have submitted on the hot topics du jour and then get two or three volunteers to give their thoughts and insight.  Ladies and gentlemen, this week I bring to you two great Insanity readers in Michaelangelo and capncrunch1!!!

 ,

1. Agree or Disagree
This year's WrestleMania will be awesome.

,

Michaelangelo : Agree.

WrestleMania is always an amazing show! The Flair/HBK match is worth the $60.00 alone. It will not only be the match of the night, but maybe the match of the year. I know that Flair has lost a step or three, but he’s going to pull out all the stops for his final match. Undertaker/Edge is going to be an awesome match and has been built up well. Same goes for HHH, Cena, and Orton. MITB is always impressive. The one thing that I believe will be lackluster will be the Big Show/Mayweather bout. I’m not too sure how they are going to pull that off and make it look believable! Mayweather is not going to lose, but how is a man a quarter of the size going to defeat a “Giant?”  The Big Show has looked like a monster as of late destroying Jericho, HHH, and Cena on Raw. So how does he lose the match without the whole company losing face? Makes the wrestlers he destroyed look like Ricky Ataki! My opinion is that they should have taken the $20,000,000 (if that’s really an accurate number), split the money 40/60 and offered the money to Hogan and Austin. The loser would take the 60% since they both have rather large egos. That would have drastically improved the buyrate and given fans a match they’ve been dying to see for years! Not Mayfeather! Other than that the card looks great. Besides I’m attending the show at Red and Jerry’s in Denver, and Tammy “Sunny” Sytch is going to be there. So even if the show sucks on TV, it won’t suck for me!

capncrunch1:   Agree.

While the buildup for WrestleMania 24 has been lukewarm at best, the legacy of WrestleMania will no doubt carry this event to a thumbs up show. Figure that there will be at least one classic match, two or three great matches, and some bathroom breaks (Four hours is a long time to hold it in...), and WrestleMania will be the most awesome event of the year. Forget about Big Show trying to top his incredible Sumo Match against Akebono, or the King of Kings sitting back down on his throne. Because if the Nature Boy has his "35 year show" stopped by HBK on March 30th, then wrestling fans will only remember WrestleMania 24 for that reason. Plus, the one, the only, the completely random and not important Kim Kardashian is going to be there! Whooooooooooooooooooooooo!   

2. Agree or Disagree
Mr. Kennedy will win the Money in the Bank title shot and use it to win the WWE title.

Michaelangelo : Mostly agree, but disagree too.  

He deserves to win the watch. Kennedy had the world on his shoulders last year before losing the shot due to injury (it was an injury, or a wellness violation? I can’t keep track).  I believe he’ll win the MITB match, but then fail to beat the champion, unless it’s for the ECW title (but who in their right minds would cash in the MITB shot for the ECW title! HAHA!). He’ll likely face a babyface champion since he is a monster heel, so that would mean he would have to face Undertaker, HHH, or Cena. I don’t see him winning it from any of them. This is pending that Kennedy cashes it in at WrestleMania like he said. If he doesn’t cash it in that night, I believe he’ll eventually win the title if he uses the MITB shot at a later date .

capncrunch1:   Disagree.

I pray to the lord of McMahonism that Kennedy does not win Money in the Bank. He blew his chance last year, when everyone was hopping on his bandwagon....bandwagon. Really though, why would he need the precious contract? He's basically a top contender already. The sure fire picks for MITB are CM Punk and MVP. CM Punk could use this as his springboard to either RAW or Smackdown, (presuming that he's finished wrestling Chavo in Gulf of Russo-style matches) and MVP could use this to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship.

So, no Kennedy, no Shelton, no Y2J, and no Morrison....your winner will be Carlito. HAHAHAHAHAHA! He must look at himself everyday and ask why he stuck with WWE. When the highlight of your career is a commercial featuring you violating plenty of PETA laws, then you're in trouble my amigo. Now that's cool. I predict the winner of MITB to challenge AND win the championship that he challenges for will be....MVP .

3. Agree or Disagree
Edge will end Undertaker's WrestleMania winning streak.

Michaelangelo : Disagree.

Undertaker will get the opportunity to run with the gold one more time. Unfortunately he didn’t get to realize this last year due to his injury. I am pulling for Edge to win because it would be an amazing rub and catapult Edge into the stratosphere. I just don’t see it happening. UT has too much pull backstage, and he doesn’t want his character and perfect record to be blemished .

capncrunch1:   Disagree.

In spite of predictably boring funeral segments, I'm looking forward to this match Sunday. Edge and the Undertaker have never had a big time match together, and both men usually bring the goods to Mania. The Deadman's entrance alone should be worth the money, with the outdoor look giving his entrance a new atmosphere. Although the Undertaker is reaching the day when he will Rest In Peace and retire, I don't feel that Edge will be the man to end the historic streak. Thus, The Undertaker will once again be given the ball after WrestleMania as the World Heavyweight Champion. I know I'm not the only one salivating at the chance to watch Taker defend against UMANGA, MVP, Mark Henry, the Miz, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan. In all seriousness, I hope Taker delivers another spectacular performance at his 16th WrestleMania .

***

Great job, guys! I appreciate your efforts this week.   I'm looking forward to seeing who joins me next week.  

What...you've never participated before?   Or maybe you have and would like to do it again?

Hey...you ALL have a chance to be part of an upcoming column.   You get a chance to have your thoughts on the crazy world of professional wrestling read by thousands every week.   This truly is open to everybody!   And with a new year comes a new list...I'm still basically starting from scratch, people.   Contact me NOW and you'll be put at or near the top of the list.   Why wait?  

I want readers to participate!

  ,

 ,

No problem.    Seriously...it's not a problem at all.    NOW is the time for you to volunteer.    Really...RIGHT NOW!!    It's a brand new year and I need a brand new list of guest columnists.

You can let me know either by e-mailing me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com , hitting me up at ZAH Nation (found on the Insanity Message Board ), or look me up on Facebook as ZAH Insanity and letting me know that you'd like to participate (and then join the Insanity Facebook page ).    

So until next week, take care.