ZAH
Shakin' My Head: RAW has no ending, ECW has no announcers, Hogan has no common sense, Marella has no good judgment skills, ZAH has no problem winning WWE tickets, Loser of the Week, plus much more!!
By ZAH
May 2, 2008 - 6:08 AM

05-02-08

" The cuffs won't click, the charges won't stick ."

Boo-yah...here we go!! 

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Item # 1 – RAW doesn't have an ending...

This has been the buzz of the internet all week long.   It's been a case of either you loved it or you hated it, with very little "meh" in between.

At the tail-end of a pretty decent RAW this past Monday, people were sitting back and enjoying a pretty darn good WWE title match between Triple H and Randy Orton.   Then, out of nowhere, we were shown the view from the production truck.   Inside was William Regal, RAW general manager and newly appointed King of the Ring.   He was embarrassed earlier in the night by Mr. Kennedy and, more importantly, he was disrespected by the WWE fans in attendance that night.  

So what's a monarch to do?   He ordered the immediately "fade to black" of RAW...and that's exactly what we got.   I was quite puzzled as to the unique end of an otherwise normal post-PPV show.   I just couldn't believe that I didn't get to see the end of that match!   What a rip-off!!   What in the world were these people thinking?  

But that's the rib...this was borderline brilliant.   I'm keen to know what happened.   I've seen thread after thread talk about this all over the internet.   I actually heard some casual fans mention it during the week.   Without reading WWE.com or spoilers, I really wouldn't know just who won that match or how it ended.   And honestly, other than knowing Trips retained...I really don't know what happened and I'm looking forward to seeing the follow-up on RAW this Monday.

And that's the point, isn't it?   WWE wanted to try something different...yet something very familiar.   A lot of the pre-Monday Night War fans really have no concept of what wrestling used to be like "back in the day"...especially during the territory days.  

Having a main-event match get cut off by the end of the show and the announcer screaming "TUNE IN NEXT WEEK!!!" was a regular occurrence.   And you know what?   There's a reason for that.   No...it's not so that net geeks could sit and whine and bitch and cry about not getting to see a finish on free television.   No, the reason was because it got fans...especially casual fans...interested in the "cliffhanger" aspect of the program.   This is why season finale episodes are so goddamn hard to watch on television...because you gotta wait all summer before watching the season premiere and knowing just what in the world happened to your favorite characters on your favorite program.

It's the same mentality here.   I highly doubt it'll become a regular feature, but you can't deny the buzz this very simple idea has created.   Not only are people wondering just what happened during the match, but they're also wondering what...if anything...WWE is going to do this Monday to top it. And not only that, but the mega-push of William Regal is now officially in full force.   He'll be getting his main-event WWE title match on PPV soon enough.   And you know what?   If he runs with the ball as much as Booker T did, don't be surprised to see a title run in his future...even if it's a short-lived one.

Oh...you didn't like the ending?   You weren't satisfied?   You didn't get the "payoff"?   The ending "sucked"?   This whole thing reeked of desperation?

Whatever.   You obviously aren't looking at the bigger picture.   Though there's nothing wrong with not enjoying the spot...you can't deny the fallout thus far is probably just what WWE was hoping for.   Will this bump ratings?   It's possible...but I doubt it.   One-week hot-shot angles don't normally bump ratings too much.   Has this created buzz?   Absolutely.   WWE.com probably has seen a tremendous boost to its hits...the character of Regal is solidly set in motion...and whether or not ratings go up, fans who watched last week want to find out the end of the match they were watching.

As long as it's not a weekly occurrence, I've got no issue with last Monday's end.   It was creative without being silly (***cough***TNA***cough) and it served it's multi-faceted purpose.

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Item # 2 – ECW doesn't have announcers...

Just when the buzz from RAW was settling from an explosion to simply a dull roar, all of the sudden comes the subtle walk-off of Mike Adamle and Tazz from the ECW broadcast position .

I had heard about Adamle leaving his post and I immediately downloaded the episode (I'm Canadian...I don't get ECW live) to see how it played out without reading any more about it.   As I watched the episode...which wasn't bad, by the way...I found it intriguing that Tazz wasn't crapping all over Adamle like he was during Backlash.   I found it interesting that there were many MANY moments of silence during the show that Tazz had to save time and time again.   I found it odd that both men seemed to be having a really good time enjoying the ECW broadcast, especially during the Mick Foley/Matt Striker segment.

And then it happened.   Out of nowhere.   It completely caught me off-guard so I had to watch it again.   Adamle was in the middle of a sentence and then poof...silence...he took off the headsets and began walking off.   Tazz asked him where he was going, Adamle said something to him and then, in a very "matter of fact" manner, simply walked through the barricade and away from the ringside area.

Tazz then did a live commercial.   I don't remember what he was pimping, but he didn't seem too pissed off or anything...rather amused and startled by the situation.   But then...seconds later...he simply got up and walked out, too.

Neither man looked too pissed off to me, so that left me even more befuddled.   I mean, seriously...what the hell?

Immediately, shoddy "reporting" began hitting the net from cut-n-paste sites with nothing better to do than make up their own stories.   The funniest report rumor I read was that Shane McMahon was behind this "full scale work (of) the internet".   Not only that, but that this has been a work all along...ever since Adamle's initial "Jeff Harvey" slip up.   And of course...this crazy ass storyline around an announcer is the real reason for Joey Styles' leaving ECW and not really about him taking over the WWE.com website.

Ha.

While this very well may be the work of Shane McMahon, to think that this has been a "work" since just after Adamle's initial debut seems a bit ludicrous to me.   I think the obvious answer is that after Adamle's initial ECW broadcast, somebody thought it could be turned into an interesting angle.   Period.   End of story.

I could be way off, but I think that's it.   And what I love, though, is that this was played off as a shoot backstage.   Well...that's how some took it.   When in reality, the only thing that factually happened was that nobody backstage was told this was going to happen.   If that means they were "working the boys", then so be it.   If it simply means that the guys weren't told because there wasn't any need to keep them in the loop, then that would be my theory.

Either way, much like RAW's ending, I'm really in favor of this storyline.   WWE.com immediately reported that both Adamle and Tazz left together and that they weren't returning phone calls or text messages to management.   I absolutely LOVE that.   Why?   Because I want to know why in the hell Tazz is leaving with Adamle.   I want to know what the story is there.   I want to know who said what to Adamle on his headsets that would make him simply get up and leave out of the blue when there was no indication that he was upset with anything?

ECW is doing some interesting things in the limited time that they're given.   And with the exception of trying to make Colin Delaney the new version of Mikey Whipwreck (poorly, I must add), ECW is putting on a pretty decent show.

Shelton Benjamin's gimmick isn't terrible...and at least he's the focus of something.   I'm a huge fan of Kofi Kingston and I see big things for him down the road.   I'm REALLY into the new version of Mike Knox and think he'll be called to RAW or Smackdown sooner rather than later with his new look and attitude.   CM Punk is...well...CM Punk.   Kane vs. Chavo is terrible, but still better than Kane vs. Big Daddy V and/or Mark Henry.

So again...because of what happened...I'll be tuning in on Tuesday night (or Wednesday evening after work when it's downloaded) to see what happened and where this is going.

So in my opinion, WWE hit 2-for-2 this week.   With Smackdown tonight?   I'm not sold yet.   I won't spoil it for those who haven't heard...but I'll give some comments on it this weekend in my ClubWWI.com audio (cheap plug!!).

Agree?   Disagree?   Let me know.   You can let me know either by e-mailing me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com , hitting me up at ZAH Nation (found on the Insanity Message Board ), or look me up on Facebook as ZAH Insanity and letting me know that you'd like to participate (and then join the Insanity Facebook page ).    

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Item # 3 – Santino doesn't have good judgment...

John Anthony Carelli (Santino Marella) was arrested in Tampa at about 3 a.m. last night for a DUI He was released this morning on $500 bond. Reportedly his blood alcohol level for 0.06, which is below the 0.08 legal limit. Carelli was reportedly out drinking with several developmental wrestlers, Kevin Thorn, Vladimir Kozlov, and Katie Lea.

He may still be prosecuted due to failing field sobriety tests and because the blood test was hours after his being pulled over.

-- Credit WrestlingObserver.com

Dude...that sucks.   Apparently Marella told police that he had three Miller Lights and one Kamikaze.   That wouldn't be so bad if he hadn't decided to start drinking at midnight.

I sure hope this doesn't hurt his chances at becoming tag team champions with Carlito.   That tag team has gold written all over it.   Well...that and Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly f*ckin' suck big donkey balls.

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Item # 4 – ZAH doesn't need your help...

I'm saddened.  

Last week I asked you for your help.   I pleaded with my Shakin' faithful to give me a wrestling promo that I could use to win tickets for a local WWE show.   I figured, the last time I asked for participation was during last summer's fantasy tournaments and I was flooded with emails.   This time?   THIS TIME???

Bupkiss.   Nada.   Zip.   Nothin'.

Oh wait...check that...I had somebody say that he and his friends at work were bored and could possibly write something, yet nothing ever arrived in my inbox.

But I ain't mad atcha .   Nope.   I know you're all good people at heart.   Well...all except for that Glamazon.   Bad-ass bitch, that one.

Anyway, I ended up turning lemons into lemonade.   I took it upon myself to write a couple of promos and call up the local radio station in an attempt to win two tickets to the Smackdown/ECW show this Saturday night.   And guess who ended up winning the contest easily??

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THIS GUY!!!!

Anyway, I called-up and did my Hulkster impression.   Here is the winning promo (picture me screaming in a Hogan voice):

Let me tell ya somethin' Mean Gene, I've been to the top of the mountain, brother...I've been to the valleys, and everywhere in between...and Hulkamania is the strongest force in the universe, dude!   As long as all my little Hulkamaniacs do the Demandments: they take their vitamins, they do their exercises, and say their prayers...there's nothing in the world that can stop us, brother!

I'll be able to bodyslam that 900 lb Andre the Giant in front of 150,000 billion screaming Hulkamaniacs one more time, dude!   Forget the divorce, forget my terrible reality show, forget my orange skin!   We're gonna climb that mountain one more time and I'm gonna be champion once again, brother!   So watchya gonna do when the biggest arms in the world, the 24" pythons and the power of my huge ego run wild on you?

Simple?   Yes.   Did it work like a charm?   But of course.   And because I'm so awesome, I'll finally be able to see CM Punk up close and in person tomorrow night.   Yes...the man-crush is still there.   Let's just hope they forget about that little court ordered "100 yards" thing.

And for those of you with ClubWWI memberships, I just may grace you with my Hogan impression skills this weekend.   And for those of you who don't?   Well...I might just post a house show report on Sunday on the main page so at least you'll be able to enjoy the end result of my greatness.

Lord, it's hard to be humble...

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Item # 5 – Hulk Hogan doesn't seem to have what most humans would call "common sense"...

Not that I'm on a Hogan kick this week, but there was a reason why he was the first impression to pop into my head (Randy Savage would have been my second choice if I hadn't won with Hogan).   The Hulkster entered a whole new world of creepiness this week when he was photographed having too much of a good time with his daughter.

How, exactly?   Well, apparently she can't put suntan oil on certain parts of her body.   That's totally understandable, right?   And she's got a boyfriend there, but Hulkster probably didn't want him to touch her.   That makes sense, I guess.   And the female friend who was also there in a bikini?   Ummm...she didn't like to touch Brooke's naughty bits?

Then why in the blue f*ck, you may ask, would her f*cking father want to do it himself??????

Oh and that's not all.   There is one more pic that just entertains me to no end.   I mean, when my 9-year old daughter starts dating, I want to totally be around to give her boyfriends a hard time.   Maybe even scare one or two off just for shits and giggles.   But this pic is absolutely hilarious in it's "over-the-top-ness"...

I don't really have much more to say about the subject than that.   I mean, in this case a picture is certainly worth a thousand words, right?   But if anything epitomizes "shakin' my head", it's these pics.   Just what in the f*ck was Hulk thinking???

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Item # 6 – Petey Williams doesn't have very good luck...

First, TNA gets Petey to do a "mini-mi" version of Scott Steiner...right down to the silly mesh hat.   Then TNA gets Petey to shave his head...for no real reason and no real build-up.   The good news?   Williams was given an X-Division title for his efforts...forget the fact that he totally fluked the win in a gimmick 100% stolen from WWE's "Money In The Bank"...all the way down to the briefcase and using it to battle Jay Lethal in a match any time, anywhere.

The latest wonderful thing to happen to him?   Well, Petey Williams was wrestling in a six-way non-title X-Division title match being taped for next week's Impact episode.   That in and of itself just screams out "THE CHAMPION IS NOT WINNING THIS MATCH".   That's bad enough...being more talented than ½ the X-Division yet being booked as a total fluke (doesn't that go against being "mini-Steiner"??).   But then he ended up fracturing his orbital bone during the match.

Ouch.

So after all the fun of shaving his head and being made to look like Verne Troyer on crack, Williams is now estimated to be out of action for about two months.

Get well soon, Petey.   Just not too soon...

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Item # 7 – Trevor Murdoch doesn't have a shot at American Idol...

...but Nashville Star might be an option.  

I really don't want to say much about the angle right now until I see where it goes from here...but seriously...WTF is THIS all about???

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Item # 8 – Kaiju Big Battel doesn't make a whole lot of sense...

I think this has the potential to be the greatest indy-riffic stuff ever.   These are two of my favorite indy tag teams and I can't wait to find out just what happens when the dust clears.   Ummm...just don't ask me what in the hell is going on...

Special Update: Kaiju/Chikara happenings...

Special Update: Kaiju/Chikara happenings pt. 2...

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Item # 9 – LOSER OF THE WEEK.

Each and every week, I pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form. This week’s choice was a last second choice...and much like last week, it just sucks to be him at this very moment.   Who is it??   This week's choice is...

Santino Marella!!!

Not only were you arrested with DUI, but TMZ was a major media outlet that covered the situation.   You're just reaching the cusp of superstardom and this has to hit you square in the face.   Dammit Santino...why?   Why?   Why in the hell were you drinking MILLER LIGHT???   C'mon man...that's the best beer you can pick?

So for getting caught for DUI and admitting to drinking crappy beer, congrats go out to Santino Marella for being ZAH's "Britney Spears Loser(s) of the Week"!  

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Pillar to Post 

Each and every week (well...NORMALLY each and every week) I take three statements that you, the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com readers, have submitted on the hot topics du jour and then get two or three volunteers to give their thoughts and insight.  Ladies and gentlemen, this week I bring to you three great Insanity readers in Dave P, ThinkSoJoe, and JohnnyCraze!!!

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1. Agree or Disagree
WWE has caused a positive stir with its controversial decisions this week.

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Dave P:   Disagree.

I thought the decisions were dumb but not horribly dumb considering the standard pro wrestling has set. With that said I find it hard to say the buzz is positive in anyway, though.  I mean, does anyone inside WWE really think that either move will help: A) bring in a larger audience, or B) convince a regular watcher to buy the PPV?  As far as I'm concerned this will be forgotten about in a month with no impact either way. Like the other 95% of what WWE puts on TV today .

ThinkSoJoe : Undecided.

I've read the opinions of various people about William Regal cutting off RAW, saying how the casual fan would not be encouraged to tune in next week.  I'm not sure I agree with that. I think it was done well enough where a casual fan may tune in next week to see where they're going with this storyline.  Casual fans know it's scripted, right?

On the other hand, Mike Adamle and The Tazz walking off would have the opposite effect.  It just seems weird to me to watch wrestling on television with no commentary, and if I had just tuned in to Sci-Fi during the main event, and hadn't watched the show before, I'd probably say to myself, "man, this show sucks, there's no announcers."  Again, as a hardcore fan, it works for me because now I'm on WWE.com every day, and waiting for ECW on Sci-Fi next week to see what happens.  So to answer your question, I think it's too early to tell.

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JohnnyCraze: Disagree.

I was actually at RAW this past Monday and everyone in the audience, including me, were really disappointed since the match between Orton and HHH was pretty good and for the WWE championship. We didn't see Regal storm into the control room and take the show off the air. We only saw him come out and say "ring the bell, this match is over." Whatever the reasoning (give Regal heat), it didn't make sense and the audience, home or at the event, were left with an empty feeling.

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2. Agree or Disagree
TNA has to be disappointed in the ratings for last week's free Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle match.

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Dave P:   Agree.

They shouldn't be surprised but they still can't help to be disappointed, though. The fact that the audience hasn't grown at all in 2 years is a much bigger concern than one match not popping a rating but for the love of god they didn't even get a 1.1, which they pull in fairly regularly. No wrestler, debut, or match has shown any ability to directly alter the ratings for TNA nor will they. It is going to take a sustained change in the overall direction of the product to do so. Let's just hope, as wrestling fans, someone in TNA will figure this out before its too late .

ThinkSoJoe : Agree.

However, I don't think they're only disappointed in the ratings for the Joe/Angle match, I think at this point they have to be disappointed in the ratings in general.  Over 5 years ago, on April 11, 2003, I wrote in a blog entry, "Would I start watching NWA over WWE? Probably not, but TNA is everything that the WCW/ECW alliance could've been if the McMahons would've done it right."  Now, over 5 years later, now that the show is on free TV as opposed to weekly pay-per-views, the only reason I watch it is because I like to go on the Insanity Forums (where YOU can go to ZAH Nation and get on Pillar to Post, just like me!) and complain about the show making no sense with other viewers.  For me to say 5 years ago that this company is what the WCW invasion could have been if it were done right to saying now that iMPACT makes less sense than Nitro did in it's dying days tells me that the company shouldn't be concerned about the ratings for one segment, but that it should be concerned with it's product as a whole.

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JohnnyCraze: Disagree.

TNA has been getting the same 1.0-1.3 ratings for how long now? I don't think it matters what the match is or who is in it right now. I think the match was good (not as good as the PPV) and the idea wasn't bad (having it on free TV). As long as TNA gives the audience solid matches and buildup, it shouldn't be disappointed unless the ratings drop below 1.0 for a long period of time.

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3. Agree or Disagree
Triple H shouldn't be WWE champion.

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Dave P: Agree.

I've been upset about Triple H inserting himself in the WWE Title picture since Cena came back for one reason. Cena vs. Orton still has not had any resolution. That's a real shame, too, because they had such an easy build to WrestleMania playing off the injury, the speedy recovery, Cena never losing the belt, issues not settled from their feud in the fall, the two biggest stars to come up since the attitude era ended, it was all right there.  But no, they cheapened the Rumble by having Cena challenge at No Way Out, gave us a DQ ending there, then made WrestleMania a 3-way. Say all you want about Orton getting a "big win" at WrestleMania, but the second they made it a 3-way they basically said Randy Orton is not big enough of a star to headline WM one on one. And a one on one victory over Cena would have meant 10 times as much as the 3-way victory. Now why did they do this? Because someone believes that HHH has to be in the WrestleMania Raw Main Event where he has been every year but one where he was scheduled to be but got hurt. Enough is enough. Get over yourself big fella. They nearly submarined Edge's career in '06 to get HHH his main event at WM. Its not that he doesn't deserve it or isn't worthy but take a year off already. Cena vs. Orton should have played out before Triple H entered the picture. Period .  

ThinkSoJoe : Reluctantly disagree.

Before I start to give my reasons I want to point out that ever since TNA started calling Kurt Angle a 12 time world champion, I've said that it wouldn't surprise me if Angle lost the title and won it back if Hunter got number 12, just to keep ahead of Triple H.  So that's my prediction for Sacrifice.

Anyways, while I didn't want to see the Age of Orton end so soon, I think Hunter is one of the hardest working guys in the WWE, as well as one of the most entertaining.  Vince's son-in-law or not, Hunter goes out and shows that he is deserving of being in the main event.  The fans love him, which is more than what we can say for John Cena, Randy Orton, or especially JBL.  He doesn't get caught on wellness policy violations (I'm looking at you, Jeff Hardy), and he knows what's good for business.  Like him or not, Triple H deserves his spot as the WWE Champion.

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JohnnyCraze: Agree.

What was the point of Orton retaining the WWE Championship at WrestleMania 24 (the first heel since HHH in 2000) only to have him lose it at friggin' Backlash?! It was a one on one match-up with HHH and it could really have propelled Orton into an unstoppable heel champion. It was an even match-up with HHH and Orton lost again. I don't count when Orton beat HHH at No Mercy because HHH had to go through three opponents in the end (plus, the one on one even match-up in beginning of the PPV was won by HHH). Orton should have kept the title to at least Summerslam. He was doing a great job.

But, then again, he's not married to the bosses daughter.

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Great job this week, kids! I really appreciate your efforts.   Obviously, I'm looking forward to seeing who joins me over the next few weeks.    

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Wait...what...you've never participated before?    Or maybe you have and would like to do it again?

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Hey...you ALL have a chance to be part of an upcoming column.    You can have a chance to let your thoughts on the crazy world of professional wrestling read by thousands every week.    This truly is open to everybody!    Contact me NOW and you'll be put at or near the top of the list.    Why wait?   

I want readers to participate!

Got something to say?   You can let me know either by e-mailing me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com , hitting me up at ZAH Nation (found on the Insanity Message Board ), or look me up on Facebook as ZAH Insanity and letting me know that you'd like to participate (and then join the Insanity Facebook page ).     

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So until next week, take care.