10-17-08

" Put your money where your mouth is… "

Boo-yah...here we go!! 

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Item # 1 – Lance Cade wished well on future endeavors.

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Please...I can't be the only one shocked at this release. I mean, it was just a few short months ago that WWE decided to give Cade a shot at the main event. They were really big on him and thought he would be able to shine through as a top-notch heel.   Of course, they didn’t really do much of anything to push him as such.   He had a victory over Paul London and then pinned Michaels in a tag match…but pretty much every other time we saw Cade on RAW or on PPV he was Chris Jericho’s lackey and was getting his ass handed to him.

I guess things just aren't meant to be.

I realize that Cade has never been Mr. Charisma, but he's always been a SOLID hand in the ring and could have been used in a myriad of roles within WWE...the least of which would be moving to another brand or sent back down to Florida if there wasn't anything for him to do on RAW.

Of course, the story now is that he was doing something “bad” that caused him to have a non-medically-induced seizure on a recent plane flight.   Well…f*ck.   Jeff Hardy gets refused access to a plane and shows up late to a Smackdown taping, but Cade can’t go into a self-induced seizure on a commercial airline?   Randy Orton can sh*t in a bag, trash his hotel room, get caught on videotape bumming a cigarette from fans at a show, generally act like a complete and total douchebag month-in and month-out, yet Cade can’t require immediate medical assistance to assist him with a possible overdose?

F*ck that.

I just don't get it. Funaki…wait, excuse me…KUNG FU NAKI (good lord) can remain employed year in and year out yet somebody with a ton of in-ring potential who was never really given a solid opportunity to succeed even though it was painfully obvious that he made the “Mr. Boring” Lance Storm character look like The Rock in comparison gets let go.

So what am I missing here?

At least we can expect a Cade & Murdoch reunion on the indies somewhere.   Maybe they can even hang out with or tag against the comparable team of Scott Hall and Jake Roberts for the weekend.

I got no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds, kids.

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Item # 2 – Johnny Devine asks for his own future endeavors.

Okay...this isn't quite the huge story that Lance Cade leaving WWE is, but it's still a little surprising. Did something happen Sunday night at the PPV that nobody knows about or is Devine truly unhappy with the company?   The answer is “no”.   Devine, apparently, asked for his release weeks ago but wanted to finish up at Bound for Glory.

Meh.

I mean, he stood out (to me, at least) during the X-division clusterf*ck cage match thing...then he made his presence known during the tag team hardcore clusterf*ck thing by helping his boys, Team 3-D. So what was the need for him to wait? He was on TV...but so is 99% of the TNA roster every week.

So why did Devine request his release?   Apparently he wasn’t happy.  Well...just don’t say that to Glen Gilbertti…he’s the one who is truly “in the know” and he has repeatedly stated that nobody is unhappy at TNA and it’s all a product of the dirt sheets.   Disco’s a stupid spin doctorin’ bitch…but that’s a whole other issue.

Anyway, Devine wasn’t happy.   He apparently told himself that when wrestling wasn’t fun he would walk away.   Needless to say, it was no longer fun for him in TNA.   He was reportedly making only $30,000 and felt there was a glass ceiling that he would NEVER break through, regardless of how he performed in the ring.

And that $30,000 was “iffy” at best.   He was on a “pay for play” contract, so if he waited around all week for a TNA booking or a television spot and wasn’t given it, then it was not only wasted time but unpaid time.   He felt the roster was growing but his opportunities weren’t.   Here is an exact quote from a recent interview:

“There is an ocean of difference between what main event guys make and what the undercard guys make. When you add in road expenses like paying for your hotels, rental cars, food, gym memberships, tanning, all of that while you are on the road even making decent money doesn’t cut it because your money is cut in half due to road expenses. People have no grasp of the pay structure at a place like TNA. It is a hard job, and if you are not pulling in the indies to supplement your income, it is almost impossible to make ends meet. My situation was, with what was being done with me on TV and the storylines that I had been involved in, my indies dropped off. When I started working for TNA with Team Canada I was doing between four to eight indy shows a month down to none at one point. One or two a month, you can’t live off of that.

Their house show budget is to take anywhere from 12-16 guys to the shows. They have to fit guys into a budget for these shows, because they don’t draw all that great. They pay guys who are under contract different for house shows than what they pay for TV. So making less at house shows and still having to pay road expenses still didn’t make up that much of the difference. I didn’t pull in that much extra money doing house shows.” – Johnny Devine, 10/15/08, SlamWrestling.com

Yikes.   No bloody wonder so many undercard guys are reportedly unhappy working at TNA.  

So now what’s Johnny D going to do?   I mean, I don't think Devine is big-enough to be able to make WWE look his way with a contract...and I don't know if his style really screams out " Japan" or " Mexico". Ring of Honor? Perhaps...but even then, working indies when you're not a huge name can be difficult.

What he’s said is that he’s going to do some Canadian indies while going to school and helping to train young wannabe wrestlers.

The plus side is that he's got his real name to use, so there's a recognizability factor there. If he does do some non-Canadian shows (like NWA or a PWG or JAPW or FIP or PWU or JCW or CHIKARA or CZW), there will definitely be some people who will know him at the shows and he can be a small draw. But is that what he'd rather do than sit back and chum-it-up with TNA?   Apparently so.

That should tell you something.
 

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Item # 3 – An Evan Bourne title run already?

Hey, it’s not completely out of the question, kids.

It was only a few short weeks ago that I suggested that Bourne would be a champion before WrestleMania.   And with him now in the Cyber Sunday contest, there is a distinct possibility that he may be given the upset victory.

It all depends on you.

I mean, if Bourne runs away with the voting one of two things will happen: (1) he will be given a very brief ECW title run…primarily because he’s so popular and because it’s only the ECW title so nobody in WWE really gives a sh*t, or (2) he’ll get buried even further because he shouldn’t be so popular (remember Hardy beating out Mysterio a few years ago and what that meant for his career?).

Either way…even if Bourne wins by a small margin, I fully expect one hell of a great spot-fest match between these two guys.   Hell, even Matt is campaigning on his MySpace for this match:

“I have never wrestled Evan Bourne, but I would love to, no doubt! He is one of the challengers that you can vote in to face me at Cyber Sunday for the ECW Title. I can definitely see this match being a non-stop adrenaline rush-a true show stealer. If you guys and gals want to see this match as bad as I wanna have it, make it happen with your text votes!

Matt”

Who are you to argue with Matt Hardy?

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Item # 4 – Jazz hands!!

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Item # 5 – Cyber Sunday shaping up nicely.

So after the initial matches and stips were announced featuring Santino Marella and Chris Jericho vs. Batista, WWE has been on a spree of new matches and things for people to vote on.   Here are some more of the items recently announced:

“Pick the tag team match” – Ummm….yeah.   This is interesting.   I mean, you’ve got a mini-feud with the mixed tag…you’ve got a big-time un-heated feud between Cryme Tyme & Miz/Morrison…and you’ve got a pretty heated feud between the tag champions and two of the most popular babyfaces on RAW in a title match.   Hmmm…I wonder who the fans are going to pick?   Sweet Jesus, people…I realize that WWE wants to manipulate the system and all, but this one isn’t even close.   Why in the world would people vote to see William Regal take on Jamie Noble when they could see DiBiase & Rhodes take on Punk & Kingston in a title match???   This will probably be one of the most lopsided votes of the night…unless I’m really miscalculating the popularity of the Cryme Tyme/M&M feud.

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Kane vs. Rey Mysterio – The choices are “Falls Count Anywhere”, “No Holds Barred”, and “Best 2 out of 3 Falls”.   You can pretty much erase that last one.   These matches are, for the most part, pretty boring and only work with really good workers.   No offense, but Kane/Mysterio are hardly Steamboat/Flair.   Fans are pretty much guaranteed to be bored with watching these two wrestle three falls.   On the flip side, the first two options are pretty much the same.   The only difference is that one stip forces you to pin/submit your opponent in the ring where the other option allows you to do it anywhere.   Both are, essentially, no-DQ matches.   Will the fans be able to distinguish that?   I doubt it.   I think you’ll see “No Holds Barred” as the option chosen.   Having said that, I think introducing the hardcore element is the only way to make their match decent along with giving Mysterio a legitimate chance at beating Kane, since Kane seems to be able to pin Mysterio with ease.

Undertaker vs. Big Show – The stipulations for this match have yet to be announced.   I can just imagine, though, that they will involve knocking somebody out…a “Last Man Standing” match, perhaps?  This feud has fallen flat due to the mismatch of styles between both men.   Individually, they are capable of delivering entertaining things.   Against each other?   They simply clash.   No harm, no foul…it just doesn’t work.   And the fans are already showing disdain for the feud.   I don’t think you’ll see it last too much longer.

Any way you slice it, though…Cyber Sunday is pretty much set.   Unlike previous years, there aren’t a whole lot of opportunities for upsets or surprises other than the Intercontinental title match (what if Honky ISN’T voted in??) and the ECW title match (the inclusion of Bourne makes things very interesting).    At least it looks better than Bound for Glory.

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Item # 6 – Nick Nemeth suspended for 30 days.

I know it's hard to believe after looking at him on RAW and WWE.com over the past few weeks, but Nick "Dolph Ziggler" Nemeth has been suspended for 30 days for a Wellness Policy violation. 

Much like Harry Smith when he got called up, Nemeth probably just felt the pressure of wanting to make a good first impression on the main roster. And I don't know for sure, but I would assume that Florida Championship Wrestling can't really afford to drug test so anybody doing "stuff" in developmental isn't gonna be prepared for the main roster.   By all means…correct me if I’m wrong here.

And he could have stopped using weeks ago before his call-up, depending on what the suspension was for. The thing is, Nemeth is a great in-ring talent. But as is the case lately with WWE...that means next to nothing. WWE is more interested in calling up green monsters like Ricky Ortiz or calling-up but burying genuine talents like Scotty Goldman (aka Colt Cabana).

While some have immediately called this a "death knell" and the end of Nemeth's WWE career, I'm not so sure. The FCW locker room isn't exactly full of experience yet, and after watching their premiere episode it was clear that Nemeth was near the top of the group in terms of potential. I guess we'll just have to wait 30 days to see how this all turns out.

I mean, if WWE is desperate enough to call up a 34-year old former carny …then you’d think they’d be content enough to keep Nemeth on the payroll.

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Item # 7 – Mark Wahlberg talks to animals...

It’s funny ‘cause it’s such a bang-on impression.   Definitely one of the funniest non-political things Saturday Night Live has done in years…and it’s so simple:

Mark Wahlberg talks to animals…

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Item # 8 – What the f*ck is up with Bad Vlad ?

I'm just flabbergasted at the push of one Vladimir Kozlov. I mentioned  last month  that I just couldn't believe the push this no-talent hack was getting. Now he's not only getting a run with Triple H over the WWE title (which in and of itself is insane), but Meltzer reported last week that a Kozlov title win is NOT OUT OF THE PICTURE!!!

Seriously?

F*ck me. The fans better vote in Hardy by a 90% margin so maybe...just maybe...WWE management can get a f*ckin' grip on just how ridiculous it is to push this loser. With so much talent being over-looked or held-back or not being used (where in the F*CK is Elijah Burke????), to push this jabroni just boggles my mind.

But by all means...continue to be happy with what you're doing over on Smackdown, people. That 2.1 rating is awesome. Keep up the great work.

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Item # 9 – LOSER OF THE WEEK.

Each and every week, I pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form.   I knew who the winner of this week would be back on Sunday night.   Why?  Well, last Sunday I saw one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in a wrestling ring…only it didn’t take place in a wrestling ring.   Let me explain after I tell you that this time around ZAH's Loser of the Week is...

Abyss!!!

Last Sunday night at TNA’s Bound for Mediocrity pay-per-view, Abyss went through the Dudley Boyz flaming table.   In and of itself, not a big deal as it’s been done before.

This time…they didn’t wait until the lighter fluid was mainly burnt off the table.   This time…Chris Parks didn’t appear to have any flame retardant gel or liquid on his wrestling gear.   This time…Chris Parks was on fire WAY too long.   This time…the person who put the fire out initially with his fire extinguisher didn’t get the entire fire, allowing Chris Parks to burst into flame a SECOND TIME.

Out of the almost 30 years that I have watched this business, this has to be one of the absolute DUMBEST things I've ever seen.   And you know why?   Because this was a spot.   A single, solitary spot.   It wasn’t the beginning, it wasn’t the end…it was the f*cking middle.

There was no real build, there was no real follow-up.   It was quickly forgotten for a thumbtack spot that looked ridiculous because there was beer spit into the eyes of somebody which allowed somebody else to get pinned.   Nobody cared and nobody remembered.

Chris Parks is an idiot.   He’s trying to be the second coming of Cactus Jack or Sabu, but instead he’s just destroying his body for a 1.1 weekly rating and 30,000 PPV buys (if he’s lucky).   The saddest part is that he's talented enough to NOT NEED THIS HARDCORE NONSENSE.

I'm just shakin' my head at the whole spot. Chris Parks is one big f*cking loser.

So for attempting to truly become TNA’s version of Kane, congrats go out to Abyss on being ZAH's "Loser of the Week"!  

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PILLAR TO POST

WHO ARE YOUR FIVE FAVORITE WRESTLERS OF ALL TIME AND WHY?

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To say I’m stoked about this week’s guest would be a vast understatement.   I have followed this man’s career since he first entered OVW, then a WWE developmental territory.   I saw him wrestle the likes of Matt Morgan, Johnny Jeter, Ken Doane, and Elijah Burke before watching an incredible feud he had with CM Punk.

He was the first to win the “Triple Crown” down in OVW (OVW heavyweight champion, OVW television champion, and OVW tag team champion) before getting the call-up to WWE as Gunner Scott.

Once gone from WWE, he entered Ring of Honor and has been dominating and cutting a path there ever since.   From Colt Cabana to Homicide to Nigel McGuiness to Claudio Castagnoli to the Briscoe Brothers, over the past two years my guest has been taking on the best the independent scene has to offer; honing his craft, kicking ass, and taking names.

In fact, his star rose to the point where he was given the opportunity to enter history when, on August 2^nd, he defeated “Scrap Iron” Adam Pearce to become the NWA World Heavyweight Champion.  

That’s right kids…my special guest this week is the former NWA heavyweight champion of the world...

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BRENT F*CKIN’ ALBRIGHT!!!

(JG Note: You can hear Brent's post-WWE shoot on ClubWWI.com)

"Here you go.

1. Bret “Hitman” Hart

He was the Best. His matches were always the ones I looked forward to as a young fan. Tough and cool. My favorite.

2. “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig

He was the Wrestling Business. Awesome matches, and a great personality in and out of the ring.

3. “HBK” Shawn Michaels

Best worker in the business today. As a worker, I look to him as the manual for "how to sell." HBK - enough said.

4. Hulk Hogan

When you tell someone you're a pro wrestler, they always say "like Hulk Hogan?" What an impact. Nobody will ever have that kind of impact on the business again.

5. Chris Benoit

My mentor. I hate the way people who never met him, let alone didn't know him, think and talk about him now. To me he is everything in this BUSINESS I hope to ever become. RIP Chris.

Thanks.

Brent"

No Brent, thank you!!   And gang, please show Brent some love by not only adding him to your MySpace.   If you want to know more about him, you’ll find some general information there.

And for those out there looking for booking information (serious inquiries only, please), you can contact Brent at: shooteralbright@mail.com .

Got it?   Good.   Thanks again, Brent!

Of course that’s not all this week.    Ya’ll know that ultimately this part of the column is all about YOU...the reader.    So having said that, I now hand over the floor to two of the Insanity faithful so they can provide their own thoughts on the topic at hand and become guest columnists for a week.

This week I bring you the First Woman of the Insanity, our very own Mallory Mahling & one of my favorite online people ever, the insane luchadore who asks every single week “Want it to be you??” in the picture at the bottom of this very column, Papi!

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Mallory Mahling

Hi Zah -- Here's my Top Five.

Papi

Damn, tough question. Some of you may find my answers a bit strange, but I’m going with the guys who have been personal favorites of mine, not necessarily who I think is the best ever. So while I’m well aware of how awesome guys like Ric Flair and Kurt Angle are, I guess they didn’t grab me enough to warrant a top-five spot.

1. Mick Foley

Cactus Jack, Mankind, Dude Love; I marked for all of them (well, Dude not so much). Foley got the top spot because I‘m equally entertained by his promo and in-ring abilities. And while he’s not as athletic as some of the others on my list, he was just so much damn fun to watch. His Hell in a Cell match in 1998 pretty much changed my life. Also, my favorite wrestling moment ever was when he won the WWF title for the first time against The Rock on Raw -- I was there live and it was electric! It was easily the best show I’ve ever been to, and I’ve been to a ton.

2. Andre the Giant

While not the greatest wrestler of all time, the guy had it all: personality, charisma, mystique, credibility. How can you call yourself a wrestling fan and not find yourself hopelessly in love with Andre the Giant? Actually, he transcends wrestling; I've known people who dig Andre just from his performance in The Princess Bride.

3. Ricky Steamboat

Watching Ricky Steamboat get his larynx crushed on a random Saturday morning in 1986 got me hooked on wrestling. I spent the next six months or so cursing Randy Savage and waiting for “The Dragon” to get his revenge. It’s unfortunate that he left the company soon after defeating Savage at WrestleMania III, but he’s held a special place in my heart ever since. And who can forget all those classics against Ric Flair? I can watch those two wrestle each other for days.

4. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake

When Ricky Steamboat mysteriously vanished from my wrestling radar in 1987, I needed someone to fill the void. It just so happens that The Beefer was in the right place at the right time. Whether he was chasing Jimmy Hart around ringside or threatening to shave Greg Valentine's head, the guy simply entertained me. I realize he couldn’t wrestle worth a lick, but I was a kid back then and it didn’t matter. My dream was to see Beefcake win the IC title (even as a kid I knew he wasn’t world title material) and it broke my heart when he had that opportunity stolen from him at WrestleMania IV against the Honky Tonk Man. I felt that the planets were aligning when he was scheduled for another IC title match against Mr. Perfect at SummerSlam 1990, and that The Beef would finally get his day in the sun, but a freak parasailing accident ended that dream. I got a chance to drink many beers with Brutus a couple of years ago and he confirmed to me that he was indeed slated to win the IC title from Perfect that night. And then he grabbed my hands and made me feel the screws in his face! Surreal, to say the least.

5. Randy “Macho Man” Savage

This was a tough call to make. I’m not a fan of Randy Savage the person, or what he did later in his career in WCW, but as a young wrestling mark growing up in the 80s, Savage was the shit! As much as I hated him during his feud with Steamboat, I respected the hell out of his in-ring abilities and loved watching him wrestle. The face-turn that followed was brilliant and his buildup to the WrestleMania IV tournament (and subsequent title win) solidified Savage as one of my all-time favorites. And don’t even get me started on Miss Elizabeth; what a package!

Honorable mentions go out to Ric Flair, Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, The Honky Tonk Man, Ted Dibiase, Brock Lesnar, HBK, RVD, Sabu, Hulk Hogan, and countless others who I can’t think of at the moment.

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Your effort into these answers is MUCH appreciated guys.   Thanks!!    And guess what, kids...EVERYBODY has a shot at being a volunteer for a future Pillar to Post.    The great thing about this new format is that it's not time-sensitive and you don't need to watch every wrestling show on the planet every single week in order to answer a topic.  Hey...I wonder who my special guests will be next week?

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So that's it for this week.    I appreciate you clicking the link that brought you here and for reading the column every week. I mean, if it weren't for all of you reading I would just be blogging to myself...           

Got something to say?    You can let me know either by e-mailing me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com , hitting me up at ZAH Nation (found on the Insanity Message Board ), or letting me know that you'd like to participate by checking out my new online blog The World According to ZAH !    And then there's the ZAH MySpace page (add me...you know you want to). Oh...and then join the Insanity Facebook page . 

Whew!    Got all that?    Good.    That's all I got for now, kids.    Until next week...take care.

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