10-31-08

“ Scream all you want; you won’t wake up… "

Boo -yah... (see what I did there?) here we go!! 

***

Item # 1 – Gabe Sapolsky gone from Ring of Honor!

,

It came as a huge shock to me last night to learn that Gabe Sapolsky was fired as head booker of Ring of Honor after their New Jersey show last Saturday night.  It's now almost an even bigger shocker to learn that Adam Pearce...who just last month was considered “too expensive” to book as a talent in ROH...is the new head booker.

So what does this all mean?  

It's hard to call right now.  But the general thinking is that ROH hasn't been doing very well lately and that an older-school style of wrestling may bring in more interest.  So it'll probably be booking similar to how it was back in the 1970's, which is Pearce's style.  The thought is that there will probably be less emphasis on high spots and more emphasis on "heel vs. babyface" builds and presentation.  

I also expect fewer and fewer "stars" to be booked over the coming months...with guys like Danielson or the Briscoes being booked only occassionally as opposed to every single show.   It’s strange because Samoa Joe, Naomichi Marufuji, and Kensuke Sasake have all been booked for upcoming shows.   At the same time, expect to see more CHIKARA guys.

The fear from long-time fans is that the Ring of Honor style that we've grown to know and love is probably done…and done for good.  To me, that absolutely sucks, but that's the way it's looking right now.  The suggestion is that current ROH fans are being burned out on the style itself and that they need to rebuild the entire product, pretty much from scratch.

If this is the case, then you can probably spell the end of Ring of Honor...period.  ROH fans are so die-hard and hardcore that I can't imagine them accepting a lesser form of the product.   ROH owner Cary Silkin believes that having a more generic indie group and family-friendly style will result in larger attendance and higher revenues.   That’s entirely possible, but at the same time there is NO way people will be buying their DVD’s in order to see Adam Pearce and Bobby Dempsey in a “70’s style” encounter.

Was the ROH style a little too over-the-top?   At times, yes.   I think, though, that the problem wasn’t in the booking but rather in the PPV business and…dare I say it…over-saturation of the product in certain markets.

DVD sales are down and that is normally the huge money-winner for ROH.   Well guess what?   There’s a f*ckin’ recession going on.   RAW is only garnering a 2.9 rating and wrestling across the board is taking a hit.   Is that a sign to change your product completely or to streamline it?

My guess is that ROH will be a shell of its former self in a year from now…and that’s a shame.   Given proper financial backing, they could have easily been something far more than they could have been.   So many people say that the ROH style of wrestling is a niche market, but I’m firmly in the belief that with a money mark and a slight change to the high-spot-centric matches (maybe tone it down just a bit) that ROH could have been accepted by the masses.  

Gabe Sapolsky has been a top-notch class act all the way during this week.   He recently made a statement: “There was no fight or hard feelings.   I understand Cary’s decision.   I love ROH and hopefully everyone will give the new direction a chance.”

Listen…I’m not saying that I’m abandoning ROH or anything like that.   I’m absolutely going to give them a chance because I love indies and, above ALL else, I just want to be entertained.   That’s why I watch CHIKARA…that’s why I watch PWG…that’s why I do my best to watch as many indies as I can get my grubby little hands on (and if you want me to review one of yours, just send it my way).

So if ROH is taking a new turn, as long as it continues to entertain me then I’ll continue to support them.   But let’s face it…only time will tell in this case.   I’m no betting man and I’m certainly not going to start on the survival chances of the new ROH.  

***

Item # 2 – The Main Event Mafia…I’ve got high hopes.

,

I know I mentioned this last week but I felt the need to repeat myself.   I really like the potential here.

I realize that I may be alone in this thought process, and because of the animosity that much of the internet seems to have towards TNA I guess I can understand why.   At this point, thought, I’m just loving everything about the group.   I love the name and the group setting and the group dynamic. There is something special about how these four guys were presented last Thursday night...just something special about the introduction with everybody dressed in suits and sipping their glasses and acting elite; just as they should. I've actually got hope in this angle.  

A LOT of hope.

And it opens up the potential for others to join down the road (I don’t even mind the latest addition to the stable, even though he’s about as broken-down as my grandfather’s watch was 20 years ago).   This all brings me to Booker T's "Legends Title".

I don’t have an issue with this in the way it was introduced last week. I think that it's very much like the Ted DiBiase "Million Dollar Belt" in that it's just a piece of tin that doesn't mean anything to anybody but the "champion", but after awhile it could mean something. 

And I don't have an issue with Christian Cage and how he immediately said what everybody else was thinking. Did it bury the title? Sure…but that’s the whole idea.   You can’t introduce a title like that and try to put it over as anything important.

Once Booker defends it for awhile, it’ll eventually gain respect and might become something good…or it could end up like the Million Dollar Belt when Virgil won and mean absolute f*ck-all.

The new match stipulation between Cage and Booker is intriguing, too. I mean, if Cage wins he gets this little title that he can chuck out and forget about. If Booker wins, then Cage has to join the Main Event Mafia: no questions asked.

I like it because it gives the Mafia an extra “legend” in their stable, and the unwilling participant gives the whole story an extra angle to it to make things interesting.

When I think about it...I’m really giving TNA the benefit of the doubt with this stuff. But I guess that I want to believe that they can turn things around and make this work.

Whether TNA f*cks it up or not, it’s still more exciting than anything WWE is doing lately.
 

***

Item # 3 – Batista?

,

I can understand some trepidation in having Jericho as World champion when the ratings have been so bad lately, but has WWE missed the mark completely by throwing the title on Batista so soon? I think so, but I think this is a prime example of what's wrong with WWE right now. 

WWE is so concerned about trying to tell people what they should and shouldn't like that they're watching their ratings decrease and fans disappear and the future pass them by. It's baffling to me that WWE is so scared to try and catch up with the new style of wrestling and a new type of wrestling fan that they throw a title on a babyface that they believe is hot. I mean, they're so stuck in trying to re-shape the fanbase into what they want them to be that they have no idea what new fans would want to see in order to become wrestling fans.

In the end, Batista bitched and moaned to the point where they had to give him the title to shut him up and keep him happy. Of course, some may argue that he simply requested time off and thought about hanging up the tights because he’s old as dirt.   Either way, it came across as a message and to respond to that message, WWE management gave him massive victories over Shawn Michaels and John Cena on his way to winning the World title.

Jericho has been very diplomatic on the subject of having his hot title reign ended so soon:

“…when he makes a decision, you have to go with it.   Vince usually has a lot of different plans, and whether it’s the end of it for good or whether I win the title again, I’m not sure, but it doesn’t matter to me.   I think there’s a lot of over-analyzing of different things.   TO me, the most important thing was that I got it in the first place, which was never supposed to be the case.”

And while that may be the case, I still don’t agree with the timing of the Batista run. 

,

, 

Oh well…at least I can be entertained by ECW, right?

,

***

Item # 4 – Coming exclusively to ClubWWI.com next week!!!

Aaron Wood's worst nightmare is about to come true.   Details coming soon…

***

Item # 5 – Evan Bourne out four months.

Well doesn’t this absolutely SUCK!!

Evan Bourne tore ligaments in his ankle during the six-man tag match that aired during Tuesday's ECW television show. It’s possible that he could miss up to four months.  

I was immediately concerned when watching the match the other night.   He did a move where the emphasis was on him popping up and celebrating a big move, where instead he grabbed his ankle and grimaced.   Where the heels didn’t concentrate on the injury, I immediately assumed he was hurt.

Kudos to Bourne for not only finishing the match, but making the ankle a non-issue by the time things were all over.   I had assumed he was fine when Hardy got pinned and never gave it a second thought.   The good news is that this doesn’t require surgery and doesn’t appear to be a major injury that would keep him out of the spotlight upon his return to the ring.  

WWE seems very high on Bourne and showcasing him is something they want to continue doing.   Will he ever be a singles champion?   I’m still betting “yes” sooner rather than later, but this injury may knock my prediction of “before WrestleMania” back a few months.

No matter.   Matt “Evan Bourne” Sydal is still a kick-ass performer and I can’t wait to see him return.   The truly talented will ALWAYS rise to the top.   Always.

***

Item # 6 – Kung Fu Naki & “The Ravishing Kiss Kam” Khali = RATINGS~~!!

Actually, no.

These two glorious ratings grabbers are Smackdown’s latest attempts at high-brow humor.   I mean, seriously…will either of these gimmicks garner ratings?   Will they make the company money?

WHY IN THE FLYING F*CK IS FUNAKI GETTING A PUSH?!?!    JUST LOOK AT THIS F*CKING GOOF!!

You know what’s crazy?   Funaki is actually now working backstage with Rick Steamboat on his gimmick…y’know, to be more “kung-fu-esque”.   Unbelievable.  I mean seriously...look at this retard (and I'm insulting retards by calling him a retard).  What year did Karate Kid come out?  What year did "Kung fu fighting" by Carl Douglas become a hit?  Goddammit...I know I'm old enough to remember the answers to these questions but I have NO DESIRE TO WATCH THIS SH*T!!

,

,

,

AND WHAT IN THE BLUE F*CKING HELL IS A “KHALI KAM” DOING ON MY TELEVISION!?!??!?!?!?

Sweet Christ on a f*ckin’ cracker….this has got to be the biggest head-shaker yet.   I almost changed the channel the other night because this f*cktard was taking up so much of my television time.   To watch him kiss a woman is bad enough.   But not the cute chick, no no no…they went out of their way to make sure he stuck his tongue down the throat of the ugly, fat woman.  I mean, look at that pic.  If that doesn't look like forced torture, I don't know what is.  He could snap her neck like a twig!

F*ck me.

You want to know why no new fans are coming to wrestling?   LOOK AT THOSE STUPID PICTURES!!!  WHAT THE HELL IS WWE THINKING???

Sigh…now I've gone and got myself all worked up.   You know what would make me feel better?   Having a copy of James Guttman’s newest book, “ Shoot First…Ask Questions Later ”, which is available NOW for pre-sale on Amazon.com !

***

Item # 7 – I just told her to think of me...

…when the camera was ever on her.   It appears as though that’s exactly what she did.  I can't help it...the chicks dig on ZAH.

Right back atcha, baby....

,

***

Item # 8 – Punk & Kofi = tag champions!!

,

I wasn't totally bored when Priceless ended up being defeated last Monday night on RAW. Even as Kofi made the hot tag to Punk, I still thought Manu would cost the fan favorites their title shot and we’d all just keep truckin’ along, yawning all the way. I'm happy to say that I was wrong.

I can only assume that WWE management saw what the rest of the world saw...the life being sucked out of any room that Cody Rhodes and Manu walked into. Ted DiBiase has a future ahead of him...and a very successful one.

The other two? Not so much.

So it then hit me Monday night...both Punk and Kingston have now each won two of the three major titles on RAW in less than a year. That's impressive. And to those who thought they were being buried or complained about their lack of push, you can't really argue with their success. Hell, Punk had a longer title reign than Chris Jericho...that's gotta say something right there.

I can't say I'm thrilled, but it's certainly a lot better than the alternative. These are two of my current in-ring favorites and I'm very happy that they're getting a chance to run with the ball.   No doubt they’ll lose the belts in a month or two, but that’s fine.   The fact is they won, and I don’t believe WWE is going to bury them any time soon.

***

Item # 9 – LOSER OF THE WEEK.

Each and every week, I pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form.  This week’s winner has been on top of the music world for years and years, but now more than ever her creepiness is making it’s way out.   This time around, ZAH's Loser of the Week is...

Madonna !!!

(oh dear god in heaven just look at that thing...LOOK AT IT!!)

Back in the 80’s, I dreamed of banging Madonna.   Even when she was chubby and had a butt-load of crack-whore makeup on, I still wanted to bang her.

As the 90’s came and went, I wanted to bang her even more.   She seemed freaky and fun.   Plus she liked getting naked and making out with chicks.   That’s not really a bad combination.

In the 00’s, though, she has quickly taken a nose-dive and has hit the wall almost as fast as Amy Winehouse.  

Now with the divorce from director Guy Ritchie becoming more and more public, details have been coming out that just seem insane to me…especially the new details about her “contract” with Ritchie:

The document detailed how many dates the couple should go on and how often they should have sex.   It even had instructions on what words Guy should use during rows “to resolve conflicts in a constructive way”.

Guy, 40, was instructed never to shout at Madge, 50, but instead look her in the eye and say: “I understand that my actions have upset you, please work with me to resolve this.”

The marriage rules said both parties must “devote time to our sexual expressiveness” and “not use sex as a stick to beat one another”.

Sources said Madonna pinned the contract up in their New York home after they saw marriage counselors two years ago, and would say to her husband, “Contract, Guy, contract” if he broke the rules.

I understand that my words will probably upset you, but YOU'RE A FREAK!!!    (and not in a good way)   Please go back under the bridge that you came from as a way to resolve this.

,

Do I need to go on?   I would think this is more than enough for Madonna to become ZAH's "Loser of the Week"!   Add to that the fact that she now resembles a gremlin, and it’s a given she wins outright.   Guy Ritchie….RUN!!

***

PILLAR TO POST

WHAT ARE YOUR FIVE FAVORITE MASKED WRESTLERS OF ALL TIME AND WHY?

,

It’s Halloween and I thought it would make sense to get a special guest who might fit into the spirit of the season.   My guest this week is a former CHIKARA Campeonatos de Parejas (along with Player Dos, naturally).   He is the walking, talking, breathing, teething, human wrestling video game who has one of the most fun gimmicks on the entire indy scene today.   Ladies and gents, I present to you masked CHIKARA wrestler…

PLAYER UNO!!!

“ Hey ZAH,

Who are the best 5 masked wrestlers of all time and why?

Umm, let's see if I can answer that.

1. Jushin "Thunder" Liger

The top Junior Heavyweight from his time, no doubt. A legend. Nuff' said.

2. The Great Muta

I know he did wear face paint for the most part, but he did occasionally wear the mask. He's probably the guy that has been the most influential to our current generation. There are so many people that you can see have really taken his work to heart, such as Eddie Kingston or Low Ki. The mannerisms that he would do made everything to much more intense. Everything he did was nice. And the Shining Wizard? I mean, how many people do that these days?

3. Big Van Vader

I love me some Vader. The man was a brute like no other. Just a mean and powerful guy, who was such a convincing monster that no one would dare mess with him. Even to this date, I sit around at home and watch this guy at work. 

4. Rey Mysterio

He deserves a spot in this top 5. The guy has done it all. In his early days, he was no doubt the greatest flyer around. He did stuff that no one could ever compete with and still to this day, can not be competed with. 

5. Ultimo Dragon

I loved this guy when I was a kid and watching WCW. I never knew why. Now I know. The man could do it all. He had all styles set down perfectly, and his matches, whomever they would be with, we're always memorable. Just an all around great talent. 

I think that would be it!

You could always promote the few other promotions I'm a regular at!

InterSpecies Wrestling ( http://www.beyondthebarn.org )
C*4 ( http://www.c4wrestling.ca )
International Wrestling Syndicate ( http://www.syndicatewrestling.com )

Thanks again! ”

Awesome stuff, Uno!!   I really appreciate you taking the time out to participate in the column.   And if you want to know more about Player Uno, go to his MySpace and tell him “ZAH says hi” for me.  

Of course that’s not all this week.    Ya’ll know that ultimately this part of the column is all about YOU...the reader.    So having said that, I now hand over the floor to two of the Insanity faithful so they can provide their own thoughts on the topic at hand and become guest columnists for a week.

This week I bring you two great readers in GreatWhiteDope and Sabuisgod!

,

GreatWhiteDope

1. Kane

My favorite wrestler of all-time (tied with Randy Savage) even through all the crappy storylines and everything over the years...Kane is the man. Very few wrestlers could say so much with saying so little without a manager. Ignore the voice box and such just the head nods and such while he didn't have "daddy" And easily one of the best big men the sport has had.

2. Mankind (original psychotic mankind)

The debut of Mankind was insane. The vignettes from down in the well looking up talking about coming home....toying with a rat (anyone who hasn’t seen these...if YouTube has them go get'em) to the interview with JR in which he completely snapped. Jeez was Foley good at making you believe he was insane. Yeah comedy Mankind was great, with Rock'N'Sock and such.....but I just seem to prefer the more psychotically demented masked men.

3) Doink

This is probably gonna be a controversial pick....but I consider it a mask. Evil Doink as a kid was awesome and even watching some of the tapes I recorded and all these WM and RR collections I have....it is still very entertaining. Hell of a character. Nice to see someone takes on the role every once in awhile to see him pop up again.

4) Rey-Rey

From watching him in ECW (the original) once my friend's brother got tapes from I believe their uncle...he has always impressed me with his style and ability so I'm gonna have to give ol' Rey the #4.

5) Mr. America & El Conquistadors

Look I’m gonna get crapped on for this...and that’s fine. I've never seen Chris Benoit as the Pegasus Kid. Or Eddie as Black Tiger. Sure I could YouTube or download them (which I actually have started lately) but i haven't seen enough and I'm not gonna count what I saw of Eddie or Benoit as being their masked counterparts. Completely different in this context. So....I thoroughly enjoyed Mr. America ....sure it was stupid and it was corny....but it was slightly different and done in such a kooky manner that "who is Mr. America " was just fun. It was tongue and cheek. Plus the subtle differences that make me feel that Hogan still wasn't Mr. America were present. Like the way Hogan always lower pumped his arms and then did the fist/hand in sky salute and Mr. America did the fist/hand in sky salute followed by the pump of the arms. You figure if it was Hogan...he'd have stuck to his routine.

As for El Conquistadors. One of the fun ways I've seen a team get around not being able to get the titles while one other person was champion. For me it was relatively fresh and E&C were great about the whole thing. Again slightly tongue and cheek and goofy in a good way (something I believe WWE -Santino and TNA are desperately lacking these days). Sure they were here today and gone tomorrow.....but still it was a fresh quick face in a tag division that was amazing at the time.

Crazy list...from deranged and psychopathic to Mr. F'n America.....

I need to get some more old school Benoit and Eddie stuff.

Sabuisgod

The best 5 masked wrestlers of all time…

1. The Spoiler

Don Jardine was years ahead of his time. He taped his matches long before there were hand camcorders to improve his in-ring product, and also had a tremendous knowledge of his opponents in the territories styles, and could create some great matches in the ring.   Also, he trained the Undertaker- and look where he got by being a Jardine student.

2. El Santo

The man lived and breathed kayfabe. He was buried in his mask! He never left his house without his mask, and became a national hero and movie star in Mexico . Mil Mascaras may have had more masks, but he was a Santo wannabe.

3. The Destroyer

What El Santo was to Mexico , Dick Beyer became in Japan . He bridged the gap between American wrestling and Japanese pureso by having headline feuds with Baba and Rikidozan in LA and then in Japan . Beginning in 73, he wrestled exclusively in Japan for 6 years, and was so over that he had a syndicated television show in Tokyo . All the great gaijins that followed like Brody, Hansen, Dr Death, Gordy, etc all owe a big thanks to the Destroyer(and also Freddie Blassie) for knocking down all the barriers in Japanese pro wrestling. He is still revered and treated like a national hero in Japan , and he’s not been in a ring for 25 years.

4. Ultimo Dragon

Take helping of Japanese strong-style, add a double handful of lucha libre and a heaping scoop of Japanese aerial style, and throw it into the American "light-heavyweight/cruiserweight" divisions and you get an innovative mutation of all the styles that kept you on the edge of your seat.

5. Red River Jack

He only wrestled in one match in the old World Class Championship Wrestling, but I had to include him, because I'm the world's biggest Bruiser Brody mark. Also, he was the part of a never-ending storyline that has been played out a million times since of the "mysterious" masked man who shows up to avenge a fallen babyface. Its been played out in high school gyms in front of 10 people, as well as sold out audiences in MSG. The James Gang, The Yellow Dog, Mister America, The Midnight Rider.......who were those masked men? Everybody knew- except the heels that faced them or the blind, deaf, and dumb officials of where ever the mysterious stranger shows his hood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Great job, guys!   Your effort into these answers is MUCH appreciated….wait, what…Mr. America ?   Really?   That’s okay, it’s all good.   And guess what, kids...EVERYBODY has a shot at being a volunteer for a future Pillar to Post.    The great thing about this new format is that it's not time-sensitive and you don't need to watch every wrestling show on the planet every single week in order to answer a topic.  Hey...I wonder who my special guests will be next week?

***

So that's it for this week.    I appreciate you clicking the link that brought you here and for reading the column every week. I mean, if it weren't for all of you reading I would just be blogging to myself...           

Got something to say?    You can let me know either by e-mailing me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com , hitting me up at ZAH Nation (found on the Insanity Message Board ), or letting me know that you'd like to participate by checking out my new online blog The World According to ZAH !    And then there's the ZAH MySpace page (add me...you know you want to). Oh...and then join the Insanity Facebook page . 

Whew!    Got all that?    Good.    That's all I got for now, kids.    Until next week...take care.

,