ZAH
Shakin' My Head: The Age of Adamle, TNA's backwards booking, a new bandwagon to jump on, joining the cause of all causes, dreaming of tag teams, Loser of the Week, plus much more!!
By ZAH
Apr 18, 2008 - 6:00 AM

04-18-08

" Foot on the pedal, never ever false metal ."

Boo-yah...here we go!! 

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Item # 1 – Was he really that bad?

I watched ECW this week.   I listened to Mike Adamle talk about "Sheldon" Benjamin and "Mike the Miz".  I heard the uncomfortable silences that Tazz had to jump in to save.   I heard shades of Don West when a simple clothesline became a "great move".   I've read the comment after comment...or should I say complaint after complaint...about this guy's debut and how it desecrates this wonderful, glorious, totally respectable professional sport that we love to bitch about each and every chance we can get.

Yes, Adamle was horrific upon his debut.   In fact, you can click here to hear some of the worst (or best, depending on your tastes) blunders from this past week's ECW program.   But you know what?   I honestly think I sense potential in him as the play-by-play guy.   Seriously.   I mean, this guy knows less about professional wrestling than Don West did during his TNA debut...but there's something about him that I like as a commentator.

I think, for lack of a better term, that he brings a "legitimacy" of sorts to the microphone.   Hear me out here...when somebody like Coach or Michael Cole or Todd Grisham or (heaven forbid) Mike Tenay are going on and on about somebody getting worked over in the corner or they are selling a beating of some sort, they put it over to the point of ridiculousness because it's just so over-the-top.   With Adamle, though, I feel that he's nowhere near being at that level of fakery...meaning that his under-statedness (is that even a word??) becomes an appealing character trait.

And you know what?   I don't know who is writing his one-liners, but I literally laughed out loud when Kofi Kingston was making his hot babyface tag and then, seemingly out of nowhere, Adamle just yelled out, "Ja-makin' me crazy!!!"   On top of that, his "Uno, dos, adios!!" once Kington made the pin just about blew my mind.   I mean, here's a concept that nobody in sports entertainment has really picked up yet: having the announcers use patented catchphrases during their calling of a match just like sports announcers.  

For the sake of argument, let's say that's all Adamle can bring to the table.   Isn't that enough for now?   Can't Tazz more than handle his own on the mic when doing play-by-play?   Let's face it...just how annoying was it to watch early TNA pay-per-views and to listen to West constantly scream out about some "amazing move" or "whatta move" or "incredible move" over and over again.   It's not like Don West has even improved that much, to be honest.   But what made West stand out was that he was the color guy...he didn't need to know the moves to show his genuine excitement for the product that he was watching.

Adamle doesn't have that situation.   He's not a color guy.   They want him to call the matches.   They want him to tell their scripted stories.   They want him, obviously, to learn quicker than they are willing to wait...much like any good looking woman who doesn't mind getting in the ring as long as she gets naked for the WWE banner.

Plus, kids, at the end of the day let's just sit back and realize just what he is doing: calling ECW matches.   Christ on a cracker...it's not like he's calling Flair/Steamboat.   If he doesn't know the product, that's not his fault...that's WWE's fault for shoving him behind a mic too soon.   If he doesn't know the moves...the names of the wrestlers...the guy he's sitting next to in the announcer's booth...those are all signs of a guy who is clearly not ready to be in the job he's in.   But again...it's not the guy's fault.  

I'm going to give the guy a chance.   It's only ECW...what the hell is he going to hurt by learning on the fly?

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Item # 2 – Who books this crap??

Listen, when it comes to in-ring competition it's hard to find fault with the majority of TNA's decisions.   But when it comes to simple storyline progression, this company does nothing but leave me shaking my head in disbelief.

I'm not even going to talk about last night's Impact episode...that's a whole damn column in and of itself.   Let's just look at last weekend's PPV, Lockdown.

-           X-Division championship match: Sonjay Dutt is the first one eliminated after helping Jay Lethal.

§          Now I could be wrong here, but hasn't TNA been setting up a Dutt heel turn for weeks now??   The vignettes where it appeared that he was going to "steal" So Cal Val away from Lethal...those weren't in my head, were they??   And this was a pay-per-view...where big things are supposed to happen.   You don't save a heel turn for television unless it's obviously to set up a big PPV match.   On the flip side, if you're building up a big storyline on television, you totally expect to see the pay-off on the big show, right?   Am I losing my mind here or isn't this simple Booking 101??

-           Sonjay Dutt then sticks around the outside of the ring during the entire match and then helps Lethal cheat to win his match.

§          Don't start telling me that he was just off-setting the cheating of Johnny Devine because, last time I checked, there weren't any rules inside of the cage.   Devine used tape from his own arm to "tie up" Lethal...totally fine within the confines of the cage.   So why in the hell did Dutt interfere??   Why is the babyface helping another babyface cheat to win??   I don't get it.   Devine got legitimately screwed out of the title and the booking of Dutt being Lethal's "friend to the end" doesn't make any sense.   We get it...they're friends.   We get it...Dutt will do anything to help out Lethal.   We get it...Dutt will eventually turn on Lethal and claim it was Lethal's fault for not being his real friend.   But just how bloody long do we have to wait to get to that point?

-           Queen of the Cage match has Roxxi LaVeaux vs. Angelina Love.

§          I'm not the biggest fan of women's wrestling, so let's get that out of the way right now.   But I do recognize a good wrestler when I see it.   Angelina Love should be my sex slave on a nightly basis, but absolutely under no circumstances should she be having a one-on-one f*ckin' CAGE MATCH ON PPV!!!   You couldn't get Traci "Bouncy Breasts" Brooks or "I Can't Dance For Shit" Salinas inside the cage for a wrestling contest??   At least they know how to wrestle.   If you wanted to get LaVeaux over, maybe try having her beat somebody that the crowd actually respects.   Because for as much as Love has charisma and the crowd booed her mercilessly (it's okay, Angelina...come on over to ZAH and he'll make it all better, baby), having the Voodoo Queen beat her is anti-climatic.   I mean, at the end of the day, who gives a shit??

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Hey...somebody give Traci a message for me.............................

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-           Kip James vs. BG James – BG wins with a roll-up.   Kip attacks him "by surprise" afterwards.

§          I don't want to even dive into this one because any listeners of my ClubWWI audio greatness known as The World According to ZAH (cheap plug!) know my thoughts on the ass backwards booking of this feud from Day One.   However, BG wins with a roll-up??   And then Kip attacks him afterwards??   THIS FEUD MUST CONTINUE!!!   Ugh.   This is a f*ckin' cage match, people...why start a feud in the cage when it's built and designed to actually END the feud???

-           Cuffed in the cage – that tag team debacle where Super Eric won.

§          Do I really need to go into THIS one??   Scott Steiner, supposedly the #1 contender, gets handcuffed first.   Then the two biggest and most popular/talented tag teams in the company get handcuffed...the Motor City Machine Guns and LAX...so that the Rock'n'Rave Infection and Black Reign/Rellik can be the last two teams standing.   Even if you left "Super Eric" out of the f*cking equation, this still becomes one of the most baffling booking disasters of the year by far.

I just can't even continue.   Needless to say, I was so disappointed by Lockdown that I wanted to kick somebody in the balls.   And let me tell you something...my neighbor didn't appreciate that AT ALL.   The matches were just alright...but even if they were great, the booking would absolutely have killed things for me, anyway.

I just don't get this company.   They take one step forward and two steps back...then they smile and gloat about how their great booking decisions resulted in a 1.1021 rating instead of a 1.1 rating.  

Watch Impact and tell me that I'm wrong about their booking decisions.   I just don't get this company at all.

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Item # 3 – The Kofi Kingston bandwagon starts here, kids.

Trust me on this one.   Kofi...JA-MAKIN' ME CRAZY!!!!!

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Item # 4 – Oh Mickie, you're so fine...

Hey now!!   Bah gawd, Mickie freakin' James is your new WWE women's champion!!   Wasn't it just last week I was bitching accurately stating facts about Mickie's stalled momentum and how it was being TOTALLY wasted on a no-talent skank like Ashley Massaro (who may or may not be a skank...I'm just assuming based on my keen sense of smell).

Low and behold, I see a women's match on RAW that blew away both matches at Lockdown.   Not only that, but there was a nice back-story that played into the finish.   It was a genuinely emotional match and that's not something that happens every day.

So let's sit back and enjoy the Age of Mickie.   It may not last too long...so enjoy it while you can.

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Item # 5 – Two words: Mike Knox.

Alright...again...it's not really two words but rather one name.   Whatever...get off my freakin' back, ya grammar Nazis!!

I'm not creating a Knox bandwagon quite yet, but I'm really keen on where his new look could take him.   When I saw his work down in Deep South, I was impressed.   I was even more impressed with his unique look...which disappeared as soon as he was called up to the main roster.   But now that he's been gone for awhile and is back in the spotlight a bit, he's grown his hair out a bit...his beard out a bit...and he's got some kind of "crazy" gimmick going.   I like it.

I'm telling ya...if you throw him in there and let him go, he could end up doing big things for you.   But then again...it's ECW.   I guess at the end of the day it doesn't really matter, does it.

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Item # 6 – Heel Jericho = GOLD Jericho.

I absolutely loved "unbiased" Chris Jericho from RAW when he confronted Shawn Michaels.   Yes, I realize that he hasn't really "officially" turned heel anywhere, but he was absolutely acting like a heel.  And you know what?  I found him to be the most entertaining he's been since returning.

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I could very well be in the minority here, but I'm really crossing my fingers for cocky, arrogant Jericho to replace magician-to-the-stars Jericho.  It was a failed experiment.  Cut your losses, turn lemons into lemonade, and move the hell on.

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That's all I got to say about that.

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Item # 7 – Join in the cause...

I know what you're thinking.   You're thinking, "ZAH, there are so many causes and charities out there...why should I join yours?"

You know what?   That could be a legitimate question.   It's not...but it could be.   Hey, it's a cause that I'm backing...what the f*ck else do you need to know??

Basically, I want you all to click here and show your support for the Canadian Bulldog.   No, not that punk-ass wannabe HD Smith.   No, I'm talking about the REAL Canadian Bulldog...the Insanity's Canadian Bulldog.   I want you all to click and tell Bulldog that you support him in his cause against WWE in this horrific name infringement case.   Hell, even if you've never posted on our message boards before I implore you...sign up, post once in this thread, and then go away to never post again.   If you were going to make one post...this would be the place to do it.

I'm behind you all the way, Bulldog.    I'm not behind you in that kind of way, though...although there's nothing wrong with that.    Just ask Aaron Wood.

There is one Canadian Bulldog.   And he's not barkin' up WWE's ass-crack , he's right where he belongs: here .

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Item # 8 – Can you imagine?

Hey...you all know just how big of a fan I am of tag team wrestling.   Imagine...just imagine, if you will...a single roster with the following tag teams involved:

-           Brian Kendrick & Paul London

-           Jay & Mark Briscoe

-           Motor City Machine Guns

-           Vulture Squad (Jigsaw & Ruckus)

-           LAX

-           Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins

-           Kevin Steen & El Generico

-           Jay Lethal & Sonjay Dutt

-           Teddy Hart & Jack Evans

-           All Money Is Legal

-           Super Dragon & Davey Richards

-            Joey Ryan & Scott Lost

-           Los Ice Creams

-           The Osirian Portal

-           The Colony

Some of those teams you probably know...some you may not.   Either way, the point is that there are some VERY talented tag teams in wrestling right now...both in the major promotions and on the indie scene.   But when you look around, very few promotions are giving them the serious push that they deserve (ROH being probably the only promotion actually giving a damn).

I can only imagine just how awesomely tremendous it would be for one company to sign even HALF of these teams and give them all the time and the focus they deserve.   From purely fun teams like the Osirian Portal to the hard-core tag specialists like Hart & Evans, a focus on a tag division would make me as giddy as a school girl at a Justin Timberlake concert.

In the meantime, just take solace in the fact that you're not watching Batista shoving a flag up the asses of La Resistance.   At least Miz & Morrison can wrestle and get defeated by TWO champions, not just one.

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Item # 9 – RAW sign of the night?

"I got my ticket when Cena got injured."

You gotta love the U.K. fans.

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Item # 10 – LOSER OF THE WEEK.

Each and every week, I pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form. This week’s choice was tough because I didn't even think about it until last night.   So...who did I pick?   Who is it??   Hmmm....well, this week's choice is...

Mike Adamle!!!

Come on...I know I already wrote about him, but how can you NOT chose this guy after his incredibly awkward debut??

So congrats go out to Mike Adamle on being ZAH's "Britney Spears Loser(s) of the Week"!  You totally deserve it.

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Pillar to Post 

Each and every week (well...NORMALLY each and every week) I take three statements that you, the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com readers, have submitted on the hot topics du jour and then get two or three volunteers to give their thoughts and insight.  Ladies and gentlemen, this week I bring to you three great Insanity readers in RD Lee (he equals ratings, y'know), Drowgoddess (yes, she was here just last week but my list has dropped down to zero new sign-ups and she totally stepped-up to the plate yet again), and Green Teabagger (totally always there for me when I'm in a jam)!!!

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1. Agree or Disagree
Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe proved that "worked MMA" could be very successful in professional wrestling.

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RD Lee:   Disagree.

I can sum this one up in one sentence.... "This is WRESTLING, not MMA!!!"

Drowgoddess : Agree (to a point).

Every match in every wrestling company doesn't need to suddenly go the MMA route. Picking the bits and pieces that work for specific situations with specific wrestlers is the way to go. "Worked MMA" was the same concept that Paul Heyman wanted to try with the ECW relaunch, and when it was associated with him, most people thought it was a brilliant idea. When TNA tries it, the gripefest never seems to end, simply because it's TNA. The Joe/Angle match was a solid match all around, and if the attempt was going to be made with that style, those were the two guys with whom to try it. It worked well for that match, and it can work well again if properly handled.

Yes, you will always have wrestling fans that want to see nothing but wrestling, and MMA fans who want to see nothing but MMA. There are shows that cater to both of those niches. However, wrestling is an evolving product. Even the most hardened IWC critic wouldn't seriously claim that all matches from the 1970s are vastly superior in every way to all matches today. It simply isn't the same product anymore. Considering the popularity of MMA in general, and how much influence it has on other entertainment forms, like action movies, why shouldn't wrestling embrace it? The pro wrestling/MMA hybrid style doesn't suit every wrestler or every storyline, but it could certainly be used to great success in wrestling companies.

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Green Teabagger: Disagree.

All that proved is that the delusional Kurt "LEMME DO REAL MMA" Angle can get his way whenever he wants. Now, it was a good match...but did they really need to go that route? I don't think so. You have a long backstory between Joe and Angle already AND the match was in a cage already. It was perfect. Angle and Joe V could have been an unforgettable classic that MADE Samoa Joe once and for all. Hopefully, TNA won't botch Samoa Joe's title reign by either having Angle win the belt back within two weeks on free TV, or having Joe defend the title on the midcard while Mini-Me Hunter Angle's feud of the month is the main event.

Oh wait, its TNA. Never mind.   

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2. Agree or Disagree
WWE.com will be 100% better with Joey Styles now in charge.

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RD Lee: Agree.

In my opinion, Joey Styles has a very smart wrestling mind. When he called matches in ECW, he always came off as one of us smark marks. He knew his background info on everyone and even had the balls to name the wrestlers signature moves. Having him run wwe.com will be nothing but the best for us in the long run IMO, he knows what we want and I am sure he will deliver. He has the ability and the passion to turn wwe.com into a must stop trip on the highway known as the world wide web.

Drowgoddess : Agree.

Let's assume for the sake of argument that the claims of Joey's change in position being owed partly to the need to improve the not-so-well-performing website and partly to justify the rumored $300,000 per year salary of Mike Adamle are true, and that there's no backstage heat on Joey. If those things are all true, Joey has the experience with on-line matters to handle this sort of thing perfectly well. When a business has an area that isn't functioning on the level at which it should, it brings in a specialist who can fix the problems and focus on the bottom line. That may mean shuffling positions within that company. WWE.com was never a site I visited very often, so I don't know what wasn't working for it, but from what has been posted about Joey's previous experience, he sounds like an ideal solution.

Some people (myself included) watched ECW solely to hear Joey commentate, and it will certainly not be the same without him. If he has simply been forced out of his announcing position against his will, that's a different story. However, he hasn't been allowed to talk for himself since the first "One Night Stand" PPV, as I understand, and maybe he was tired of Vince shouting in his ear.

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Green Teabagger: Agree.

Well, the last person I'm aware of that was in charge of it was Michael Cole so.....Styles will be fine. Then again, I hardly ever visit wwe.com so its one big fat steaming pile of "meh" to me who runs it.

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3. Agree or Disagree
Chris Jericho needs to turn heel immediately.

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RD Lee: Disagree.

He has only been back 5-6 months and to me at least is not "stale" like everyone seems to think he is.... He just added a extra layer to the HBK/Batista feud in the sense that we don't know the outcome now because of his involvement.... A heel turn seems like a step in the wrong direction if he stays on Raw because we already have Kennedy, Orton, JBL and Umaga rotating through the title picture door..... I would agree if he were on Smackdown because it would be a much different story. A feud with Undertaker would be fresh and exciting. Imagine a Edge/Jericho heel team? GOLD!

Drowgoddess : Agree.

Jericho's best work has always been as a heel. In the days of WCW, his Cruiserweight feuds were the stuff of legend. Visiting the Library of Congress to look for legal precedent to get his title back? Taking Juventud Guerrera's mask, among other things, and wearing them as "collected trophies?" Insulting Dean Malenko's dead father? He was GOLD as a heel. If his return has been less than stellar, turning him heel and unleashing him on someone like CM Punk, who has his MITB title shot to carry around for the next year, would be grand. The possibilities for a heel Jericho are much greater than those for a face Jericho right now. Turning isn't always the appropriate quick fix, but in this particular case, it's the right call to make.

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Green Teabagger: Hell yeah.

Hell, it should've happened 15 seconds after the lukewarm reception he got when he came back, or after WWE just used his return to propel the return of John Bradshaw Layfield (excuse me, chanting his name...JBL, JBL, JBL). Its too bad Cena was hurt....how perfect would the reintroduction of Chris Jericho have been if he cost Cena the WWE Title against Randy Orton? Sigh. Anyway, babyface Chris Jericho.....sucks. Heel Chris Jericho....AWESOME. His promos are better, his work is better, his crowd reactions he gets are better, hell...CHRIS JERICHO IS BETTER.

The crazy thing is Jericho will probably get more cheers as a heel then he ever did or could as a babyface (A-GAAAAAAIN).

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Awesome job this week, kids! I really appreciate your efforts this week...especially because my list of "who will write in the column" was down to ZERO.   Obviously, I'm looking forward to seeing who joins me next week.   

What...you've never participated before?    Or maybe you have and would like to do it again?

Hey...you ALL have a chance to be part of an upcoming column.    You get a chance to have your thoughts on the crazy world of professional wrestling read by thousands every week.    This truly is open to everybody!    And with a new year comes a new list...I'm still basically starting from scratch, people.    Contact me NOW and you'll be put at or near the top of the list.    Why wait?   

I want readers to participate!

Got something to say?   You can let me know either by e-mailing me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com , hitting me up at ZAH Nation (found on the Insanity Message Board ), or look me up on Facebook as ZAH Insanity and letting me know that you'd like to participate (and then join the Insanity Facebook page ).     

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So until next week, take care.