| From WorldWrestlingInsanity.com ZAH
05-16-08
"
Only you can set you free
."
Boo-yah...here we go!!
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Item # 1 – RVD + Ultimate Warrior = Reality Show Gold.
Y'know, if there was any time that a reality show needed to be made from wrestling, it's NOW.
On the Insanity message boards, Canadian Bulldog said exactly what I was thinking after watching this brilliant piece of video: "The most effort I've ever seen put into a Rob Van Dam promo...."
Just think how far RVD could have gone in WWE if he had only given this much of an effort during his promo time. Hell...if he could have given this much effort throwing a freakin' punch he might have become WWE champion a lot sooner than he did.
It's interesting. Warrior has been training for a couple of weeks now for his in-ring return, and he decides to train with Rob Van Dam. I'm not sure what to take from this. I mean, he's apparently not growing his hair out so he's not going to try and be the Warrior of old. He's looking a lot bulkier than he was during his late-90's WCW run so he might even be returning with a different style. Hmmm...
But I guess that might be an excellent reason why RVD is his training partner. It's not like Warrior's starting from scratch here. Say what you want about his in-ring abilities, but the guy was no worse than your average indie guy in terms of in-ring skills...he just happened to have a killer physique and a charisma/mystique about him that people gravitated towards. So at this point, RVD is probably helping Warrior more with his cardio than anything else.
Any wrestler will tell you that when you go away from the ring for an extended period of time, it doesn't matter just how good of shape you keep yourself in while you're gone...it's not ring shape. There's a big difference between jogging for thirty minutes and running the ropes for ten. If Van Dam can teach Warrior anything, it's how to improve his in-ring cardio so that in a month he won't be blown up after running to the ring. I mean, he technically already made a brief return while in Spain last month ( see video here )...and he was blown up after 20 seconds.
Yeah...he returns in a month. Hard to believe, no? The thing is, the guy is still totally jacked-up (check out photos here and here)...and I'd be lying if I didn't say that I want to see his upcoming match with ClubWWI's own Orlando Jordan. I mean, I used to be a HUGE fan of the guy when I was growing up...and I couldn't have been happier to see him defeat Hulk Hogan and become world champion. No, I don't really care for his views on religion, politics, or the human race in general...not to mention I think he's still a tool for officially changing his name to Warrior...but I'm interested to see what doors, if any, this ends up opening up for the guy.
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Item # 2 – Angle out for a month...at least.
How many times can this guy come back from a severe neck injury before he ends up crippling himself? It was obvious to everybody except Kurt that he was banged-up going into Lockdown and came out EXTREMELY banged-up afterwards. Yet he still had commitments to fulfill and money to make...so he ventured on out and ended up getting dumped on his head in a match.
The word Kurt gave at last weekend's Sacrifice PPV was that he had both neck and disc problems in his back. Basically, he's f*cked. My question is this, then: At what point does a wrestler say "I quit"?
I'm thinking the same thing about Rey Mysterio right now, actually. The poor bastard's return has been pushed back yet again to at least July. I mean, has Rey Rey and Kurt not saved up the hundreds of thousands of dollars that they have made over the course of their careers? Maybe it's time to move onto something else? I mean...I'm not saying that they can live the rest of their lives on what's in their bank, but certainly they can move into a field that provides them with a lifestyle that won't be harmful to their health.
Are there no business investments out there for these guys? No doubt that the money and love for the business are huge factors, but when do you say "When"? How many times will Shawn Michaels rip his knee apart before finally crying uncle? Do we need an in-ring death live on PPV to get it through everybody's heads?
When it comes to athletes and injuries in any sport, limits will be pushed on a daily basis. Athletes, by nature, will do whatever they can in order to compete...it's what they do. But in every single sport, an athlete will finally call it a day when injuries catch up to them. Why? Maybe it's because they don't want to be cripples as they grow older.
It's not like it was in the 70s and early 80s or even the mid-90s when the big-money contracts just weren't there. These guys had to wrestle just to feed their family and there wasn't anything left over in the bank to sit on (jeez...don't I know all about that). When the big money finally came in the late 80s and late 90s during the "boom periods", guys just went on drinking/drug/spending frenzies that left them with nothing.
Does history not tell us anything?
Kurt...f*cking retire already. You've done it all, but you're a broken machine who is risking serious, permanent injury. You've got a gorgeous wife, beautiful kids, and at least some scratch stashed away for a rainy day. Branch out into business. Become a road agent. Open a training school. Just stop killing yourself. There's no need for it. And Rey Rey, that goes for you, too.
Oh, and Kip James...just retire. I've got no reason other than "you suck", but that should be enough, shouldn't it?
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Item # 3 – Are the Knockouts the ONLY good thing on TNA right now?
Kudos to Roxxi Laveaux for volunteering to have her head shaved on last Sunday's PPV. Reports are that nobody was forced to do it and when it was offered to the Knockouts, she volunteered without any coercion.
Unlike the Molly Holly situation in WWE, however, this segment felt wrong from the very beginning. The whole "What in the blue hell is Gail Kim doing??" portion of the match really took away from the drama of it all. I mean, was she a heel? Did she REALLY need a title shot so bad that she'd risk her friend's hair being shaved off? Was Roxxi REALLY her friend? If not, why was Gail so upset after the match was over? If she was, why did she accept the heel help to win the match?
Molly Holly's head-shaving was a build-up. People were rabid for it and when it happened, it received the response it deserved. This? This was a bad situation made only worse from the hard-way cut on Roxxi's head and the horrified looks on the other Knockouts' faces...not to mention the "Fire Russo" chants that broke out when the crowd saw Vince standing by the announcer's booth to watch his brilliant plan in action.
I dunno...this whole storyline was f*cked from the start. When it was playing out, I felt queasy about it all. I felt it was a waste. Unless a tremendously huge feud was about to develop with either Roxxi & Team Porn or Roxxi & Gail Kim, then the head-shaving meant absolutely NOTHING.
The good thing, though, is that Roxxi came out very strong both with fans and with TNA management. Add to that the fact that Impact will be featuring more and more Knockout segments in the coming weeks because they consistently garner the highest rated segments, and Roxxi is really lookin' pretty good in spite of the bad booking.
The hair will grow back...but if there was ever a time to update her silly gimmick, it's definitely now.
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Item # 4 – CM Punk – best booked babyface since Rey Mysterio's World title run.
He lost to the Miz.
Yikes.
Want to know how well the Money In The Bank winner has been fairing since WrestleMania?
March 31, 2008
- RAW: WWE Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho pinned CM Punk with the Code-breaker. (0-1)
Now I don't want to come across as any creepier a fan than I already am, but I don't think it's hard to admit that the booking of Punk is, at the very worst, questionable.
What the hell, people?
This type of booking is perfectly acceptable if he was just a guy...no title around his waist, no briefcase with a title shot hanging from his arm.
But this is a guy who won one of the biggest matches of the year and now is in a position to use that victory to propel himself into a main event spot that previous winners did.
HA!!
That's not happening, kids. I don't know why they let Punk win at Mania but yet haven't done much to build him up since.
I don't know why Punk hasn't been allowed to really showcase what he can really do both inside the ring and on the mic.
I don't know why Punk always seems to have this stigma of having heat backstage.
What I do know is that the Miz pinned him this past week on ECW.
The f*cking Miz.
I've got nothin' else to say.
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Item # 5 – The Sandman...sleeping in a ring near you!!
Please...you haven't seen this?? 2CW Wrestling is under the belief that they can sell more DVD's if they hype one of the worst wrestling matches you or anybody else has ever seen. Before anything else, take the time to sit back and enjoy this:
2CW: The Night Sandman Fell Asleep
Now I'll cut Sandman a bit of slack here. I mean, the video is obviously biased. They complain about a headlock but yet it's the fat tub of goo who Sandman is wrestling that slaps it on. But then they complain when it's Sandman slapping on the headlock.
Okay...that's about all the slack I'll cut here. I understand the guy has a reputation on the indies. I understand the guy is very likely a severe alcoholic. But at the end of the day, you are paid to do a f*cking job. Many a performer have gone inside the ring with a few cocktails in them, but the crowd didn't really notice because they still performed. This? This is a joke. Sandman is a joke. And this company probably has every right to expose him for the jackass that he was for sleeping his way through a match far worse than Kelly Kelly vs. Layla.
Exit light, indeed.
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Item # 6 – Judgment Day predictions.
WWE title match: Randy Orton vs. Triple H in a steel cage.
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This really should be a great match.
Trips has been quite entertaining as a tweener babyface champion, and as much as some may throw out the ol' tired "married to the boss's daughter" bullshit it's very difficult to deny how good he has been over the past few months.
Let's face it, until Trips leaves the business completely, the majority of his detractors will never cut him slack regardless of what he does.
Orton, on the other hand, has been phenomenal over the past few months.
While I understand the wanting of Triple H to be champion over Orton, he is absolutely the hottest heel going right now and it's going to be a shame to see this go away in favor of a Triple H vs. William Regal feud...which will also be great so I'm not really complaining.
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WINNER
: The Age of Orton will not continue it's reign at this PPV.
Orton did nothing wrong as champion...but with Triple H ready and Cena waiting in the wings, Orton again becoming WWE champion just isn't in the cards right now.
If they do end up doing a brand lottery in a few weeks as some predict, it wouldn't shock me to see Orton move over to Smackdown and play the Edge role of top heel and win a World title or two.
World title match: Undertaker vs. Edge.
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Edge is consistently one of the most entertaining personalities on any WWE program and has been for months.
I'm still waiting for the hammer to fall on Vickie when Edge dumps her ass and tells her he never liked her in the first place.
But until that happens, I think it's still Undertaker's time to shine.
Edge still has one or two world titles left in him, and while the whole idea of stripper Undertaker of the title was nonsensical and unnecessary, I can't see any legitimate reason to have him NOT win it unless WWE doesn't think there are enough credible heel challengers to him as champion.
Regardless of the outcome, I have yet to see a bad Undertaker vs. Edge match as 'Taker has been giving Edge more legitimate offense than I can ever remember him doing against somebody not his size (i.e. Big Show, Kane) or without weapons (i.e. Mankind).
I've never seen Edge look stronger.
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WINNER
: Undertaker...although a switch back to Edge wouldn't surprise me.
WWE tag title match: The Miz & John Morrison vs. Kane & CM Punk.
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Well, I don't have a problem with Miz and Morrison winning singles matches against Kane and CM Punk on ECW for a couple of reasons: (1) the heels need a way to look credible in order for this match to mean something and (2) nobody watches ECW.
Still, these guys are chickenshit heels and should only be winning singles matches using "nefarious" means like outside interference or weapons or something similar.
That's what heels do...they cheat to win.
But forget all that...I'm rambling about something I've got no control over.
This match is going to be okay.
Nothing great, but it shouldn't suck.
I mean, how many times can you attack Kane's knee without yawning?
Still...any time Morrison and Punk get in the ring together is magic and Punk has good chemistry with Miz, too.
You add in the tag element and you've got a decent little match.
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WINNER
: Miz and Morrison...but probably not by clean pin or submission.
Also, it wouldn't shock me to see Punk challenge a weakened Kane to an ECW title match if they lose.
Just sayin'...
Women's title match: Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix vs. Melina.
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Bitch and moan about the Divas and how they're not presented the same as the Knockouts or SHIMMER, but this match is about as good a women's wrestling match as you're going to find anywhere. Am I excited to watch it?
Not really...but that's primarily because of my apathy towards women's wrestling and not because of the talent that these women possess.
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WINNER
: Mickie James...although a surprise victory by a "thrown into the mix" Melina wouldn't shock me, either.
I mean...why else is she even involved?
JBL vs. John Cena.
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Say what you will, but Cena rarely fails to deliver on PPV and JBL feels he has something to prove since his return.
If you remember their Smackdown rivalry, their matches were pretty decent.
I know that Cena hasn't been wrestling as much lately because of his movie commitments, but he'll still show up and give it 110% (clichés aside...he'll work his ass off).
JBL will pummel this man and smack the crap out of him as he is prone to do.
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WINNER
:
At the end of the day, there is no reason why Cena should lose this match.
He lost at Mania...he lost at Backlash...he probably needs a bit of heat back.
Having said that, JBL is the one who probably needs the rub more.
Intercontinental title match (?): Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho.
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Even I'm starting to wonder if HBK was actually injured.
As much as I may dislike the guy for who he used to be (I hold a grudge...sue me), I'll never take away from his in-ring abilities.
And one of the biggest things Michaels can do is make you wonder if he is really hurt or not.
He's brilliant at selling.
But anyway, I digress.
This should be a kick-ass match...possibly Match of the Night and even a MOTY contender if given enough time and booked properly.
Both of these guys have egos the size of Seattle, and the need to perform at the very best of their abilities will propel this match into one the fans will be buzzing about when all is said and done.
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WINNER
: Great question.
This one is totally up in the air.
I'll go with Jericho if this is a title match (only because Michaels doesn't need/want the IC belt) and HBK if this is a non-title match (well it's a non-title so the champion can lose, right?).
Unofficial match: William Regal vs. Mr. Kennedy.
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I'm totally guessing that this match will be added to the card.
Why wouldn't it be?
Isn't that why it has been a featured feud on RAW for the past few weeks?
If it does take place, it'll be a huge match for both men.
Both want to prove that they deserve to be in the upper echelon of RAW and in the main event picture.
There are question marks on whether or not either man can fill a main event role, so this match would be extremely important in helping to lay the foundation down for their future pushes (or lack thereof).
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WINNER
: I think Regal needs the win more than Kennedy.
Of course, I wouldn't book it as a clean win because Kennedy needs a bit of energy, too.
On paper, this looks like a solid PPV.
I guess we'll see soon enough.
I just take solace in the fact that it can't be much worse than last weekend's TNA pay-per-view.
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Item # 9 –
LOSER OF THE WEEK.
Each and every week, I pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form. This week’s choice clear cut.
He almost killed his best friend and was recently sentenced to eight months in prison for reckless driving and turning that friend into a life-long vegetable.
Who is it? Please...it shouldn't be a secret at this point. This week's choice is...
Nick Hogan!!!
Dude....eight months? You should consider yourself lucky.
So congrats go out to Nick Hogan for being ZAH's "Britney Spears Loser(s) of the Week"!
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Pillar to Post
Each and every week (well...NORMALLY each and every week) I take three statements that you, the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com readers, have submitted on the hot topics du jour and then get two or three volunteers to give their thoughts and insight. Ladies and gentlemen, this week I bring to you two great Insanity readers in SABUISGOD and Zmanjets!!! ,
1. Agree or Disagree ,
SABUISGOD:
Agree - with a stipulation.
Jeff has been given another chance TO PROVE HIMSELF - not to go straight back to the main event. He disappointed a lot of people. Given his track record to date, I think he can get back into main event status, but not until he restores some people in high places' confidence in him. He should be commended for coming to grips with his problem, and applauded for having the courage and "testicular fortitude" to face the tragedy of the house fire along with his suspension without spiraling out of control. But not rewarded for coming out of rehab by going straight back to the limelight. The run with Umaga will be the litmus test for the new and improved(?) Jeff Hardy, IMO.
Zmanjets
:
Partly agree.
From watching RAW this past week, several things stood out. His ovation was insane, which could be due in part to the fans not seeing him in a while, but you have to admit he got the pop of a top level star. Right as he was speaking though, he said something about wanting to reclaim the intercontinental belt, so I don’t really know how quickly he will get thrown back into the main event picture. I would expect Matt Hardy to be thrust into the top quicker than Jeff. Should the WWE trust him though? Well he got misused in TNA and I doubt he even wants to think about ROH after his one night stand there, so I doubt Jeff will screw up his last chance with the WWE. So give him time and maybe he will be trusted once again .
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2. Agree or Disagree
,
SABUISGOD:
Absolutely Agree!
Look back to when WCW went under. Its like déjà vu. Incomprehensible storylines with no rhyme or reason whatsoever; ridiculous gimmick and stipulation matches for no apparent justification other than "Hey, its gimmicky!", top stars reinforcing the "glass ceiling" and burying the real crop of talent, over reliance on one performer **coughKURT cough,cough** without realizing that his heat cooled about a year and a half ago.....the list goes on and on. I'm waiting for Russo to find another "B" list actor to come in and win the TNA title in a "Barbed Wire, Ravens Rules, Chainsaw on a pole, King of the Mountain, reverse elimination, spin the wheel, loser gets their head shaved lights out" match on Impact during a commercial break.
Zmanjets
:
Agree.
Look at the recent matches TNA has been making lately (Terrordome, Deuces Wild, Knockout #1 Contender Shaved Head Ladder Match). It has made the company extremely reliant on gimmick matches and difficult to enjoy. I think TNA needs to stay the course and have wrestlers, you know, wrestle. They have the stars, so how about new matches like a Joe vs. AJ title match, Angle - Booker, or Christian – Matt Morgan. Overhaul the roster too. The last thing we need to see is Kip and BG James, Kevin Nash, and even Sting. Get rid of the old guys, push some new blood like the MCMG, LAX, and Jay Lethal to have straightforward wrestling matches, and TNA has a shot at gaining back it’s popularity.
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3. Agree or Disagree
,
A couple of the matches advertised are really drawing my attention, but not enough to make me mark the calendar and count down the days. The "E" is drastically falling apart television wise. They say wrestling goes in cycles; and right now creative is channeling the WWF of about 1990. They are relying on the same 5 storylines with the same 10 or so wrestlers interchanging spots in each storyline. There's virtually no Tag division, the cruiserweights are gone, the Intercontinental title is taking a backseat to a nonsense feud, and no one up the food chain seems to notice. Emperor Vince is happy, and all his court jesters are fiddling while the kingdom smolders. There's only so many times people will plunk their money down to see Triple H doing his "Godzilla over Tokyo" roar and flex after the main event.
Zmanjets
:
Agree.
On paper, this PPV looks pretty solid. HHH vs. Orton in the cage will be a nice match, with HHH hopefully coming out on top. JBL vs. Cena could be a solid brawl, even though there hasn’t been much backstory to the matchup. I was worried about Michaels-Jericho, but now that Michaels said he was faking the knee injury, I expect a great match, probably with a Batista run in towards the end. Melina-Phoenix-James could be a great match too, with three of the strongest females on the brand in the match. Taker-Edge hasn’t disappointed yet, and I wonder who will win (Lets go Rated R Superstar). Kane and Punk vs Miz and Morrison has great potential to it, but so help me if at the end of the match Punk clocks Kane with his MITB case and uses it then and there to win the ECW belt. Add in possible matches with Shelton – Kofi and MVP – Hardy, and you have the makings of a nice PPV.
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Great job this week, kids! I really appreciate your efforts. Obviously, I'm looking forward to seeing who joins me over the next few weeks.
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Wait...what...you've never participated before? Or maybe you have and would like to do it again?
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Hey...you ALL have a chance to be part of an upcoming column. You can have a chance to let your thoughts on the crazy world of professional wrestling read by thousands every week. This truly is open to everybody! Contact me NOW and you'll be put at or near the top of the list. Seriously, MY LIST IS AT ZERO AND I'M STARTING OVER FROM SCRATCH AS OF 5/16/08!!
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So why wait? I want readers to participate!
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So until next week, take care.
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