(ZAH edit: This was written a few days BEFORE last night's ridiculous YouTube "suicide note that wasn't really a suicide note" debacle. I would have been MUCH more harsh if I had written this column today.)
I'll be the first to admit I'm an idiot if the guy ends up dead in a ditch somewhere, but I honestly think this whole
"I'm on drugs but not really on drugs and I fell down the stairs because I'm on drugs but not really on drugs" thing is Hardy's insane way of putting over an internet angle of some sort. Now that's not to say that he's clean...he's quite obviously on
something...but he's not quite as messed-up as the internet would have you believe.
Just look at this stupid YouTube video where he's talking with Reby Sky and suddenly "something" walks by behind them...leading to them going crazy trying to find it like they're a low-rent Ghost Hunters wanna-be's.
Then Hardy comes home only to find the "entity" has messed up his entire house.
Dude...seriously?
At what point are you going to realize that you're NOT that good of an actor? At what point are you going to realize that whatever angle you're trying to work is NOT going to get you over? At what point are you going to realize that things are so bad in your life that your drug-addled f*ck-up of a brother is employed and you're not?
Of course...all of this is moot if he's bangin' Sky every night. For that I'll give him some mad props!
No...really...smarten up, Hardy. You may be fooling some, but you're not fooling everybody.
***
Item #2: Don't like WWE's current PPV schedule? Deal with it, Skippy.
It was recently reported that (with the exception of WrestleMania) WWE spends around $1.1 million on each PPV event. What that means is that they only need around 58,000 buys to become profitable. They routinely have six-digit buys for all PPV's, so for those out there clamoring to want a reduced PPV schedule...forget it. It ain't happening.
How ya like DEM apples?
***
Item #3: I found where TNA is #1 in their market!
Mind you, I don't think the viewership is still that high...
***
Item #4: If Ric Flair calls asking to borrow $10...
Oh...and if he wants to buy something from you there is something you NEED to keep in mind:
Listen, I'm a fan of Flair...really I am. But this is just embarrassing. It's not only embarrassing for him but it's embarrassing for me as a fan.
It's not like I'm rich and can look down on the guy...that's not even the point. It's simply that he has gone from making bad financial choice after bad financial choice to committing fraud on a constant basis. I mean, how can you defend actions like that?
It's a shame, too. It's not like the guy is broke...he just can't separate being the "Nature Boy" with being "Richard Fleihr". To him, it's the same guy.
And losing himself in a gimmick is probably the saddest part of this whole story.
***
Item #5: Stro don't know sarcasm.
Stro initially asked a question that seemed rather innocent...
Well...I thought the question was rather odd. Did his cable get cut off? He was on the internet...were his fingers broken?
So...me being the smart-ass (but not necessarily wanting to come across like an asshole or anything)...decided to send him this:
No...there's no spyware or RickRolling or anything. I wouldn't do that to you.
So anyway, Stro apparently doesn't understand sarcasm. Seems like a nice enough guy, though...but still. Really, my man? Did you not even click on the link??
And here I thought my tweet was worth more. Oh well...
***
Item #6: For the record, I'm all for seeing Brooke Hogan naked...
...I just think it's creepy as hell for her father to show it off for the world to see.
AMIRIGHT, people?!?!?
***
Item #7: WWE releases: ummm...they happened.
Yes, count me as one of the people who were a bit surprised by the release of Chris Masters. Not sure what he needs to do in order to "get over", but I think he's at the point in his career where he's not just a dude with muscles, but is a guy who can go in the ring.
But one of the releases that most people weren't overly surprised by was Melina. She's had a lot of stories about her over the years and it's been documented by "those in the know" (y'know...THOSE in the know...they gotta know, right?) that she wasn't the most popular person in the locker room.
Turns out there was a HUGE rally the other day where people gathered by the HUNDREDS to protest Melina's release. I'm telling you...with support like this, I can't see how WWE could justify not bringing her back.
Okay...so maybe I exaggerated just a bit on the size of the protest.
***
Item #8: Stacy Keibler = Jedi Master
I'm certainly not going to sit here and say anything negative about Stacy Keibler. Okay...maybe I'll say something negative about her tweeting ability.
Listen...when you're a celebrity and you're on Twitter, people are going to scrutinize your words because you'll have a lot of people following you (most of whom probably don't have much of a life). When your tweets are lame, though, you deserve to be called out on it.
Ladies and gents...I present to you some REALLY lame Stacy Keibler tweets:
Oh...and then she dropped THIS nugget of wisdom:
Which, of course, logically brough me to think of her like this:
***
Item #9: You gotta love in-depth storylines.
I'm not sure exactly where the story of Vickie Guerrero, Dolph Ziggler, and Jack Swagger is going but I gotta say that I'm intrigued over it all.
I can't see a face turn for any one of them at this point, but if they let Vickie expand her "stable" then I'm all for it.
One of the lost artforms in professional wrestling over the past 15 years has been the disappearance of the wrestling manager. Sure, the position is alive and well on the indies (although I could go without ever seeing "Bad Bobbie" again), but it's really not used to its fullest potential in the WWE.
Hopefully this storyline continues...Vickie has earned a solid run as a heat-magnet.
***
Item #10: Who is more unprofessional?
Jimmy Yang for tweeting about not being paid by TNA, or TNA for not paying the man to begin with?
Read from the bottom up, kids...
Seriously, TNA...you're not doing yourself (or your already shoddy reputation) any favors here. You don't hear about ROH or PWG not paying their talent, do you?
C'mon now...
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PILLAR TO POST
Yes...I know you've been waiting for it and you asked for it. So here it is...the return of a little segment I call "Pillar to Post".
Simply put, this is where I ask a special guest a very simple question:
Who are your favorite wrestling personalities of all time and why?
This week I've got a VERY special guest. He's the former spokesman for the ECW hotline, the long-time booker for Ring of Honor, the current vice-president of DRAGON GATE USA, and the co-founder of EVOLVE...the one and only GABE SAPOLSKY!!!
Sabu: You had to be there in 93 & 94. I remember someone yelling "Sabu is a spirit" and I think they were right. I've never seen anything like his mystique. I'm really marking out for finally booking him on the September 10th Dragon Gate USA live iPPV on
www.WWNLive.com from Chicago.
Bobby Heenan: I'm sure he'd be on the top of most lists. He was such a great manager, could make you hate him or make you laugh. The thing that really won me over was his bumping and selling for Bruiser and Crusher. I used to love that old footage.
Paul Heyman: Ok, I'm a little biased, but how could I not mention my mentor? There is no one like Paul Heyman. He sees things on another level. This carried over to his work as a manager.
Bryan Danielson: I'll throw a recent name in there. I'm not talking about the Daniel Bryan persona in WWE, I'm talking about badass, realistic, skilled fighter Bryan Danielson we knew on the independents. I feel very lucky to have been able to see this form of Bryan one last time on the DGUSA and EVOLVE shows last year.
Dusty Rhodes: I'll round out an eclectic list with Dusty Rhodes. There's a reason he's one of the most imitated promos ever. Dusty was such a great character who related perfectly to his audience. There's nothing that can get you fired up like a Dusty Rhodes promo.
Thanks, Gabe! I really appreciate you helping out this week! Some great stuff.
And kids, do NOT forget that some of the best wrestling in the world can be found live on iPPV at a VERY affordable price. DGUSA returns to live iPPV at
www.WWNLive.com
on September 10th. It's a helluva card, too...
Open The Freedom Gate Title Match YAMATO defends vs. CIMA
One-On-One
PAC vs. Ricochet
Four Way Freestyle - Winners Gets To Book Future Match Match For His Stable
Masato Yoshino vs. Naruki Doi vs. Sami Callihan vs. Chuck Taylor
No DQ Match
Sabu & AR Fox vs. Arik Cannon & Pinkie Sanchez
Ronin vs. Blood Warriors
Johnny Gargano vs. Akira Tozawa
Special Challenge Match
Rich Swann vs. Jon Davis
Don't recognize all of the names? Trust me when I say that you should NOT let that scare you off. As a fan of DGUSA since its inception (and as a fan of the original DRAGON GATE promotion for quite some time), I can tell you without question that you will see some of the best in-ring action of the year.
While you're at it, also check out
www.DGUSA.tvfor DVD deals and tickets to upcoming events on 9/9 in Indianapolis, 9/10 Chicago and 9/11 Milwaukee.
And if you're curious about the other promotion that Gabe's involved with, EVOLVE, go to
www.EVOLVEwrestling.comfor more info.
***
Well...that's all I got this time around. I appreciate you clicking the link that brought you to this column and thanks for reading up until the very end.
