World Wrestling Insanity: Shakin' My Head: Jeff Hardy returns to the terminal, Damien Demento returns to the ring, the Angles return to divorce court, an all-new Pillar to Post featuring an ex-ECW world champion, Loser of the Week, plus much more!!

Shakin' My Head: Jeff Hardy returns to the terminal, Damien Demento returns to the ring, the Angles return to divorce court, an all-new Pillar to Post featuring a former ECW world champion, Loser of the Week, plus much more!!

By ZAH
Sep 19, 2008 - 7:00 AM

09-19-08

" Born to push you around... "

Boo-yah...here we go!!

***

Item # 1 – Jeff Hardy incident at airport...or was it?

The big "story" of this week was that Jeff Hardy was "removed from his flight" before it left in Nashville on Wednesday morning.

I use quotation marks because all of the "wrestling journalist websites" seem to have jumped all over this story, yet nobody could get any details confirmed until an official statement from the airline was made yesterday afternoon.

What was confirmed was that there was a "removal" of sorts. It took place on Wednesday morning, when Jeff was accompanied off the plane by "several police officers", along with his brother Matt and Gregory Helms. So while 99% of the internet wrestling community had gone all ape-sh*t over the possibility that Hardy f*cked up yet again, I just sat back and asked, "What if?"

I mean, what if this was a medical condition on the part of Hardy? What if he received a phone call or text message saying that there was a family emergency or something similar? Maybe he just wasn't feeling well? Maybe he made an off-color comment about "bongs" and everything got totally misinterpreted?

The bottom line, though, is that WWE was "investigating the incident". Having said that, it was also reported that Nashville International Airport spokesperson Emily Richard confirmed that no reports were filed concerning Jeff Hardy with the airport. So, technically, it should be no harm no foul. Yesterday The Tennessean wa s claiming that Hardy appeared intoxicated and was denied entry on the plane (as per Southwest Airlines representative Chris Mainz), so he just left and decided to take a later flight without incident. If true, that's a heck of a good morning, I guess.

But whatever...no incident reported, nothing "technically" happened. So everybody can chill out...for now, at least. I mean, honestly...why are wrestling fans just so damn eager to jump all over the next accident or train wreck or arrest? People will sit back and complain about the state of the business but will then visit every wrestling website under the sun once somebody does something illegal.

Maybe that's just the state of people today and not even wrestling-related. Just look at TMZ.com, one of the worst websites I've ever had the displeasure of viewing...repeatedly. I mean, I can't lie about it...I've visited there on more than one occasion. It's like driving by a car accident; you don't want to look but you can't help yourself.

Well, I'm not going to dive head-first into a commentary on humanity...that's just boring. All I'm going to say is that sometimes we just need to sit back and take a look at the situation from all sides before jumping all over it. Could Jeff Hardy have been caught with drugs or something? Yeah, I guess it was quite possible given his history. Could Jeff Hardy also have been feeling sick and wanted to get off the plane without being disturbed by fans? Yeah...that was just as easily a possibility.

There's a moral to this tale, kids. Chill out...enjoy life because it's too short...and continue to know 100% in your heart of hearts that Aaron Wood sucks big donkey balls.

***

Item # 2 – Damien Demento to UN-retire!!

On his latest podcast , Demento announced that he's about to come out of retirement and head back into the ring. At the age of 50.

And I say "Why not??"

I mean, the guy has been getting more and more popular since last year's RAW Anniversary Show that I'm sure people have been asking about it. He's done an interview for ClubWWI.com, he's done really crazy & controversial YouTube videos (the majority of which have since been removed), and he always seems to do or say something that causes interest in him again. Heck, I'd dare say he's hotter now than he was during his WWF run.

So why not try to get another pay-day out of it? I'd pay to see him in the ring again. Not much, but I'd pay.

***

Item # 3 – ZAH: The Shoot Interview.

Yeah...it's all about me, people. I'm gonna shoot hard on EVERYBODY IN THE BUSINESS!!! Okay, not exactly...but as close to a shoot as anybody is going to bother trying to get out of me.

Hey, it's just nice to be the interviewee for a change: The Ratings Are In: ZAH's 1st Shoot Interview

***

Item # 4 – Wait...they're real??

Brooke Hogan was on the Howard Stern show this week and claimed her boobs are real.

Wait a second...those funbags are actually real???

I could easily call "bullsh*t" on this one, but I think that a hands-on personal inspection is required in order to fully find out the truth. Hey...I'm all about finding out the truth for you, my faithful readers.

***

Item # 5 – CHIKARA a go go!!

I just wanted to do a cheap plug, of sorts.

I'm reviewing a Chikara DVD this week on ClubWWI and I've got one of my favorite tag teams from Chikara lined up for Pillar to Post next week (I think you're gonna LOVE who I've got and what they've got to say), so I thought I would be insane if I didn't give one of my favorite indie promotions a plug or two:

First of all, definitely check out Chikara's website, www.ChikaraPro.com. Out of all of the indies out there, I truly think their website is one of the best.

Second, make sure you watch the Chikara Podcast A Go-Go!! Recorded live in an elevator (and sometimes other places around Pennsylvania) the show features clips from past live events and mundane chatter about other stuff. Definitely worth the click of your mouse.

Finally, Chikara is making their mid-west debut THIS WEEKEND!!

"The Artistic Pursuit of Being Yourself"
9.20.2008 - Streamwood, IL!

"Laying in the Gutter, Looking at the Stars"
9.21.2008 - Cleveland, OH!

So if you're in the area and you just want to have a FUN TIME at a wrestling show, I can't recommend this promotion enough.

***

Item # 6 – The Angles no more?

According to Bubba the Love Sponge (and really...why wouldn't you believe the words of a man named Bubba?), Kurt Angle and his wife Karen have filed for divorce. Again. And that's a shoot.

I'm not sure what to think about this. How about....did you expect anything else?? Seriously, how many wrestling relationships EVER last?? They are few and far between. So the moment Karen became a contracted member of the TNA family and was appearing in skits and such with Kurt and company was the moment the marriage was doomed for failure.

And because these two had actually filed for divorce previously in their marriage should have told you NOT to do this. The stress of a wrestler's life is hard enough on a family. Add to that BOTH lovebirds dealing with that? I dunno...but this doesn't shock or surprise me in the slightest.

I'm certainly not gleeful or happy about this (unless Karen has a thing for short, pudgy, bald, 30-something Canadians). I went through a divorce last year...it sucks. They've got two kids...that sucks, too. So it's not like this is a happy-go-lucky story...but Christ, people...who didn't see this coming?

Well...other than Kurt and Karen, obviously.

***

Item # 7 – Other things that I don't really care about.

This week Kevin Nash re-signed with TNA.

Yawn.

Hardcore Holly in rehab?

It was reported that "Hardcore" Bob Holly had entered a drug rehab facility in Georgia for an addiction to pain killers. I was about to go into a lengthy diatribe about Holly and addictions and stuff...but then I realized just how much I don't like the f*cker.

Primo & Carlito Colon are a tag team on Smackdown.

Don't even get me started on the continuity issues from where Primo said, just a couple of weeks ago, that he was nothing like his brother or some sh*t on RAW. But now they're a couple of good ol' boys makin' jokes on Smackdown and they're about to battle over the tag titles. Ugh. Oh...and Primo sucks. So yeah. Yawn.

So Cal Val turns on "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal and starts bangin' Sonjay Dutt.

I've been wanting this for two months now. The turn. Well, it's finally happened and now I'm just squeamish at the thought of that butterface making out with acne-boy on a weekly basis. Plus the director must have hard-on for the whole deal because the extreme close-ups from the PPV sucked ass. Or face. Or whatever...

***

Item # 8 – LOSER OF THE WEEK.

Each and every week, I pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form.

This week sucks. This week I had to pick a childhood hero of mine. And I understand that addictions are a bitch, but I also understand that people make conscious choices. At the end of the day, I've got NO sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. And in saying that, this time around ZAH's Loser of the Week is...

Jake "The Snake" Roberts!!!

If you haven't seen the grainy video from last weekend where Jake Roberts fell off the wagon, here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmRTg6l_A2A

Now, Roberts claims to remember none of this. Believable after watching the video. But what's more intriguing is that he's now claiming he was drugged involuntarily :

Jake was given an open container of what he was told was a cold drink. That happened when he got to the venue. He remembers nothing between that time, and the time he woke up the next morning in the motel, alone, beaten, injured.

Jake was drugged. He has been home since Saturday afternoon about 4:30PM and up until last night about 8:30PM, had not eaten or slept. His standard answer for everything the last two days has been "I don't know."

That is the other side of the story, folks, believe it or not, it is certainly your choice. I'm dealing with the guy they sent home, and folks, it is frightening to both me, and to him, and really not much fun.

Update September 15, 2008 @ 6:30pm: We have a witness to the effect of who MIGHT have made a direct attempt to do Jake great harm at the show. WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE. One of the men IN THE RING with Jake is somebody we are going to take a much closer look at. Somebody saw this man with an envelope with some powder in it at the show. Somebody saw what happened here. We now are very SURE Jake was in fact drugged. More details will be forth coming as soon as we can get permission from this fine individual to offer them.

Hmmmm...intriguing, no?

Listen, I love Jake Roberts. He was one of the very first wrestlers that literally kept me interested in this crazy business on a weekly basis back in the 80's. Between him and Randy Savage, I had two reasons to watch wrestling and never doubt why.

I know about his ups and downs over the years. I know about his battles with addictions. Everything I've read says that Roberts has been working his ass off to stay sober this time around. He had a very lengthy stay in rehab and the initial reports I had read on his road gigs since were that he was very professional and lucid.

He needs to get away from the ring. Period. He needs to find another avenue to make a living because what he's doing now is NOT conducive to a recovery. Especially on the indie circuit.

I don't pray often, but I pray for Jake. He's a guy that by all accounts should be dead in a ditch somewhere...yet here he is, living another day. I want to believe he's part of a bigger plan or something...I want to believe that he can stay clean and just live a happy life.

Pipe dreams, I know

But in the meantime...I can be happy knowing that one of my childhood heroes is now the latest to be ZAH's "Britney Spears Loser of the Week"!

***

PILLAR TO POST

WHO ARE YOUR FIVE FAVORITE WRESTLERS OF ALL TIME AND WHY?

Alright, this week's topic is the same as last week. There's a reason for that, actually. I've got another special guest this week. In fact, this guy is a former ECW world heavyweight champion!!

But the accolades don't end there, no no...

This man is a former PCW Junior Heavyweight Champion…IWA Junior Heavyweight Champion…ECWA Tag Team Champion…MEWF Light Heavyweight Champion…MEWF Tag Team Champion…WWC Junior Heavyweight Champion…USCW Tag Team Champion…SCW Junior Heavyweight Champion…IPWA Tag Team champion…IPWA Light Heavyweight Champion …ESW light Heavyweight Champion …IWF American Heavyweight Champion …IPW Hardcore Heavyweight Champion …IWA Heavyweight Champion…KYDA Pro Wrestling Mid Atlantic Champion…KYDA Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Champion…OMEGA Heavyweight Champion …IHPW Heavyweight Champion …APW Heavyweight Champion …

...ahem...

A former NWA Pennsylvania Heavyweight Champion …NWA 2000 Light Heavyweight Champion …NWA 2000 American Heritage Champion…NWA Florida Heavyweight Champion …NWA US Tag Team champion…NWA World Light Heavyweight Champion …NWA North American Heavyweight Champion …PWF Tag Team champion…PWF Universal Champion…he is the former Pro Wrestling ZERO-ONE United States Champion…the former NWA World Champion…

...whew...

He is the former NWA Southern Champion…NWA Intercontinental Tag Team champion…MLW World Heavyweight Champion …AWA World Heavyweight Champion...Carolina Wrestling Association Heavyweight Champion...B4W Heavyweight Champion...Hawaii Championship Wrestling Tag team Champion...High Risk Pro Wrestling Champion...German Stampede Wrestling Heavyweight Champion...SWR International Heavyweight Champion...UNION Heavyweight Champion...Platinum Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Champion...AIW Absolute Champion...

...need a drink of water here...

A former World Dubai Mixed Tag Team Champion...1PW World Heavyweight Champion...PWA Pure Wrestling Champion...and AWA World tag team champion.

He weighs in at 229lbs. and is hailing from the city of brotherly love: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He is a member of the Extreme Horsemen, is the absolute KING of Old School, is the true & original king of kings, and in professional wrestling this man is your F*CKING GOD.........................

STEVE F*CKING CORINO!!

"Here is my list. These are my 5 favorites, not that they were the best.

1. "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert

I first saw Gilbert in 1982 while watching WWF TV. He was small, which I was as a kid, and I loved watching him fire up. He was only an opening card guy then. If you watch the Mr. Perfect DVD there is an amazing opening card match with Curt Hennig vs. Eddie Gilbert. I would follow Eddie's career through Memphis, NWA, WCW, back to the USWA, and the early days of ECW. I wanted to be Eddie Gilbert. Still do.

2. Barry Windham

Once again I took an early liking to Barry because he was tall and lanky. Which I ended up being as a teenager (not now of course!!!). The matches that Barry and Flair did in early 1987 are what made me buy a ticket to the Philadelphia Civic Center. It could have been the only match for all I cared and I was the biggest mark in the world.

3. Tommy "Wildfire" Rich

This was my first favorite wrestler. He was the guy on TBS that when I turned on the TV I was hooked. He just had so much fire, no pun intended. He was a total A-hole when I met him (LOL) but I still punch up some YouTube stuff of him and Buzz Sawyer. Still one of my favorite feuds of all time.

4. Nick Bockwinkel

Being born in Winnipeg but raised in Philadelphia I was always partial to the AWA while reading the magazines. Nick, of course, was the AWA World heavyweight champion for the most part of my youth. The first show I ever went to was a sold out Winnipeg Arena in early 1983 and the main event was Nick vs. Hulk Hogan. I was just in awe how he controlled a match. Even at 10 years old I knew this guy was amazing.

5. "Nature Boy" Ric Flair

The NWA World's championship belt was the first belt I ever saw on TV as a kid. I always wanted to be the NWA champion as a kid and it was a thrill when I won it, but if it wasn't for Flair making that title look so important on TV then I don't know if I would have wanted it. He made championship feel so important. If you were a person that didn't like wrestling you would catch Ric Flair on TV and he would make you a fan because if it was important for him then it should be important to everyone."

Steve, I greatly appreciate you participating this week. Kids, make sure you check out SteveCorino.com . It's definitely a cool site that's actually all run by Corino himself. Plus, he's got a little bit on insight on who Mr. Wrestling III may be.

But that's not all, kids. This column would be nothing without YOU, the reader. So now it's time for a couple of faithful readers to get their views read by thousands of ZAH faithful:

"The Man Who Equals Ratings" RD Lee

1. Hulk Hogan

For the most obvious reason that I was a major "Hulkamaniac" growing up... And still am to this day. You really can't deny that there is something special about the Hulkster. His in ring was passable but his charisma and "It" factor had and still has more effect on most people than 99 % of any wrestler in history. And when his "Real American" music hits to this very day, no matter who you are, you get goosebumps. And I ain't gonna lie, because I sure do!

2. Bret "Hitman" Hart

The best there is, was and ever will be inside the ring. His matches were legendary, he was a former 5 time WWF champion and his WM12 Iron Man match with HBK is still my favorite match of all time to this day. And I was a huge, HUGE Hart Foundation fan, I was always rooting for them against whomever they fought, including DX. That says alot about his presence in the group in my opinion.I know he will always be remembered more for the Montreal Screw Job, but I remember him as one the the greatest "WRESTLERS" of all time. And not many people would argue that.

3. "Y2J" Chris Jericho

My 2 favorite moments in wrestling history both came from this man, The first is his WWF debut in 1999. When the countdown clock hit 0 and he appeared on the stage to verbally battle the Rock I was in complete shock and awe. And the second moment came when he pinned Triple H on Raw in 2000 and appeared to have won the WWF title. Too bad he didn't get to keep the belt that night because I marked out like a little school girl and had tears in my eyes when he won.....true story!

4. Owen Hart

Anyone that knows me can tell you that I was always a big Owen fan, whether it was High Energy, Blue Blazer, The Blackheart or my favorite The King of Harts. He always entertained me and had a great in ring story telling ability. The night he passed away remains the darkest day in wrestling history for me (even more so that the Benoit tragedy) I was completely torn when he died, it was my first experience losing a wrestler I had emotionally invested in and cared for. But to this day I honor him when I can and I always will because he is one of the all time greats in my eyes.

5. Rob Van Dam

This one might sound a little strange (but no worse than Aaron Wood picking Mae Young) but allow me to say that he belongs on any top 5 due to the simple fact that he really is "One of a Kind" (pun intended). The first time I saw him in ECW I was blown away. He had a arrogance about him that allowed me to really believe he was better than anyone he was in the ring with at the time. His offense was exciting, his risk taking was incredible and his mike skills (in ECW) were often fun to hear. Little known personal fact....My full name is Randall David Lee, And my buddy, Ficker, randomly once said "Hey, I'm gonna call you RDLee because it kinda sounds like RVD." after that I ran with it and that's where my nickname came from. Pretty cool huh?

Johnny Craze

My top 5 wrestlers of all time?? Ok, not in any order though:

1. Bob Backlund

I wasn't even born yet to see most of his great matches and his incredible 5 year title run from 1978-1983 but was alive when his 2nd WWE title run took place in 1994 and after watching it, I went back and looked at old wrestling tapes and just loved all of his matches. He was THE best technical wrestler that I ever saw and he really impressed me.

2. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin

He was the reason I started watching wrestling again after I stopped mid 1996-1997. Everything he did caught my attention and I loved his character. He wasn't the best wrestler but the way he carried himself and some of the things he did was just over the top. There will never be another wrestler like him.

3. "Mr. Perfect" Curt Henning

Another great technical wrestler and his matches with Bret Hart were some of the best I had ever seen. I loved his character too and he really took off with it like no one else. It's a shame he passed away so young because I think he had a lot more to give. He was an incredible athlete and impressed me in so many ways.

4. Bill Goldberg

Don't ask why I liked Goldberg. For some reason, he made me start watching WCW more and more. There was just something about him that I liked and he had one of the greatest entrances of all time. He was powerful and could move for a big man. I would have loved to see him face Stone Cold for a dream match.

5. Tie between Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit

Eddie was a great wrestler who left before his time and his matches were unbelievable. Even when he was a heel, he had the crowd cheering. His 2004 WrestleMania moment with Benoit is still my favorite WrestleMania moment of all time. He deserved the WWE Championship and I'm glad he had a chance to have a run with it. I know people's feelings about Benoit but you can't take away his incredible wrestling ability. He may have been the 2nd or 3rd best technical wrestler of all time(behind Backlund and Bret Hart). It's a shame about what happened but as a wrestler, he was definitely one of my favorites.

Just a quick note. This wasn't an easy list to make. I can definitely name five more wrestlers that I really enjoyed and I have to say Chris Jericho was very close to being in my top five and so was Rob Van Dam. So five more real quickly...Jericho, Rob Van Dam, Ultimate Warrior, Bret Hart, and last but not least.....LITA(Amy Dumas)!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So guess what, kids...EVERYBODY has a shot at being a volunteer for a future Pillar to Post .

Just let me know.

, ,

***

So that's it for this week. I appreciate you clicking the link that brought you here and for reading the column every week. I mean, if it weren't for all of you reading I would just be blogging to myself...

Got something to say? You can let me know either by e-mailing me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com , hitting me up at ZAH Nation (found on the Insanity Message Board ), or letting me know that you'd like to participate by checking out my new online blog The World According to ZAH ! Oh...and then join the Insanity Facebook page . And then there's the ZAH MySpace page .