| From WorldWrestlingInsanity.com JG's Retro Raw Insanity
Chaos and pandemonium ensued this past week at the "Super Deluxe Sports Entertainment Expo" in Miami, Florida. The show, put together by Anthony Clifton and Cliff Anthony, was expected to be the greatest Expo of the year. As proven by this graphic:
However, the event turned out to be less than what many hoped for. The evening wrestling show, which was supposed to feature a bevy of names, ended up forcing many substitutions. "Sure. Guys like Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan, and John Cena had some problems spring up. They were substituted by a number of great stars," said Clifton. "We're very proud of the final product. Not to mention that the card, my friend, is subject to change. Muwahahahahahaa! Wait. Oh crap. Did I do that evil laugh out loud?" The original card was set to feature rematches from every main event in WrestleMania history but had to be altered. New matches are being advertised across the web with the following post: "Barry Horowitz vs. Someone Dressed As Doink The Clown Barry Horowitz and Someone Dressed As Doink The Clown vs. Greg Valentine and Steve Corino With a main event battle royal featuring: Barry Horowitz, Someone Dressed As Doink, Greg Valentine, Steve Corino, Brian Christopher, and MANY MORE!!!11!" Although Anthony's cancellations are out of his control, many are crying foul over some of the other no-show names that he can't account for. Some are saying his promotion of them for the event was something they doubted from the start. For example, up until the day of the show Cliff/Anthony Enterprises had promoted a special Q&A with Kin Korn Karn, from the NES Pro Wrestling game. The problem here is that Karn is actually a made-up computer graphic created for Nintendo. How did this deal even go down? Anthony was defensive. "You think that….You think we? I'll tell ya what. Here. Pick up the phone. Call Karn's people. They'll tell you." We informed him that there was no way for us to call his people since he wasn't real. At that point, Anthony slammed his hand on the table and screamed, "AHA! Can I get a what-what?" He then bowed and left the room.
Many fans were upset by this, but ultimately had to accept it. "I told my friend Joey that I was gonna go to that wrestling thing," said a young fan who insists we refer to him simply as "THE NEXT WORLD CHAMPION OF THE JOEY BACKYARD FEDERATION" The Legendary Billy Buttkick. "He was like 'no.' I'm like, yeah bitch. I'm gonna talk John Cena into interfering in our match next SUNDAY! You hear me?! IT'S AWN JOEY EXTREME! Anyway, yeah. So Cena's not here. So then, I'm like, Kin Korn Karn. I'll get him to do that spinning back kick on you, but he's not here either. I sort of figured that Kin Korn Karn wasn't a real person, but thought there was a chance he might be. That's why I came. They said he'd be here on YouTube. Youtube doesn't lie." That's not where the woes of the promoters ended. Many questioned the thought process of C.A.E. for countless strange decisions. In one case, the duo decided to wait to pay the lesser known talent. Yet they did make sure to give the top names received their payment in full. That makes sense, right? The questionable decision here? They paid the stars by having New Jack staple the checks to the foreheads of their family members. He'd then scream, "Paid, mother f**ker!" "I thought they'd think it was funny. Who doesn't love that?" Replied Clifton. "It's like, "TAG. You're Paid!" It's a rib, as they say. A rib. They didn't like it much."
"Her head, brother. Her head. How much money was it, man? How much money did they pay? Look at the hundred dollar bill falling out of his pocket, man. When I tured around, Mean Gene, they were identical! IDENTITCAL! Ahem…as I was saying, I'm upset over this turn of events. If it wasn't for this incident, I would have been there this weekend. I was definitely looking forward to one man in particular. WHATCHA GONNA DO, KIN KORN KARN…WHEN HULKAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU! Hrmph." When we told Hogan that Karn wasn't real, he openly wept. Many fans were also left scratching their heads when they realized that the promoters had set up a fire pit moat around the building. They had it built especially for the event and had waiting ticket holders stand in it until they opened the doors. The fire moat cost them half their budget and appeared to serve no purpose other than to hurt fans. "It made no sense, " explained fan Jack Tanner. "We could have just stood on the pavement. It was like they did it for no reason." We asked Clinton about this. He simply said: "MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Meanwhile, another strange move saw the convention owners invite both Johnny Fairplay and Danny Bonaduce to the show. Although Bonaduce had never done anything in pro wrestling, Anthony "knew a guy who knew a guy." That would have been fine, except the promoters booked them in the same hotel room. Around 1am a fight broke out between the two, causing many wrestlers to have to break it up. A number of stars including Barry Horowitz and Al Burns (The guy playing Doink) stepped in to calm the battle. Unfortunately, it soon spilled into the hallway. As the fight raged on, they ran into famed poet Maya Angelou, who was staying in the hotel and had gone to use the ice machine. An accidental elbow by either Horowitz or Bonaudce left Maya with a black eye. She was last seen in the lobby reading poetry and swearing revenge. Upset fans also point to the long lines for food, the late start, and the fact that Jimmy Hart viciously bit a number of them. In one case, a small boy lost three fingers. People were shocked by the entire scene. "Everyone said how nice he was. So I said, "Hi Jimmy. Big fan." He then just clamped down on my arm. I didn't do nothing wrong," explains Buttkick. "He's crazy." Further investigation revealed that Cliff/Anthony actually didn't have "Jimmy Hart" at the show. They had "Jimi Heart." Jimi was a pitbull that they dressed in sunglasses and a piano tie. It's hard to imagine how any fans could have confused the two. One expo-goer gave his side. "I thought maybe my TV had been broken my whole life."
Despite the many problems of the show, the promoters are already hard at work for next year's show. SDSE 2008 is scheduled for next "August or October…or between. Think around September maybe" and has already begun selling advanced tickets. Advertised stars include Bobby Lashley, Hulk Hogan, Andre The Giant, Kin Korn Karn, Legendary Billy Buttkick, and Maya Angelou. Advanced tickets were offered at a discounted rate of $50 to all the dissatisfied fans of this year's expo. It sold out in five minutes.
The Uncut Shoot Interview with Shawn Daivari (35 Mins):
Hear about his entire career on
ClubWWI.com
including:
The Uncut Shoot Interview with Tammy Lynn Sytch (50 Mins):
Hear it all from the Original Diva on
ClubWWI.com
including: How Paul Heyman screwed her over, The New ECW, "Sunny Days," Hart-Michaels, the biggest mistake of her career, frustration with overly grief stricken fans, managing L.O.D. 2000, bombing her first WWF tryout, Vince McMahon as a woman, The Bodydonnas, the Smoking Gunns angle, the woman who doesn't deserve to be mentioned, her friendship with Dawn Marie, Smoky Mountain, beating Jim Cornette at the "name game," Tamara Murphy, Carlos Colon, and much more.
"The World According To ZAH"
Join ZAH as he takes a look at the world of wrestling in a way he's never done before...over-tired and hung over! He gives his thoughts on John Cena appearing on the Apprentice, the latest WWE relationship gossip, using family names for wrestling purposes, Rena Mero in TNA, New Japan vs. TNA, ROH's Survival of the Fittest results, the NEW GHC TAG CHAMPS D-LO & BULL, plus much more!
All Good With Aaron Wood All this, plus over 85 different guests with shoot interviews including Sid Vicious, Eric Bischoff, Jerry Lawler, Vince Russo, Nick "U-Gene" Dinsmore, John Heidenreich, Christian Cage, Samoa Joe, Kevin Nash, Diamond Dallas Page, La Resistance, The Steiner Brothers, AJ Styles, Demolition, Paul Bearer, Bobby Heenan, Ted DiBiase, Road Warrior Animal, The Iron Sheik, Rhino, Tito Santana, Earl Hebner, Charlie Haas, Christy Hemme, Chris Daniels. and many more. If you're wondering what Club all your favorite stars are hanging out at, wonder no more. They're at ClubWWI .
Folks, we are live from Omaha…right here in Middle America…get right to the heart of the matter, it's the heart that matters more. Know what matters even more than that? Tonight's main uh-freaking-vent - that's what. It's a strange Cyber Sunday-ish preview that's always necessary when you have two good guys and two bad guys in the same general conflict. Randy Orton tagging up with Mr. Kennedy against Jeff Hardy and Shawn Michaels. Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross are ready to roll. Are you? If not, you better turn your ticket in-n-n-nnnnn. And get your money back at the door. La-la-la-la. You might want to wait though. The first person out the gate is… Misterrrrrrrrrrrrr….Kennedy. Standing in the ring, he hails from Green Bay Wisconsin, he's the man with two names. He's Ken Kennedy. Mr. K has his '80s MSG mic in hand as he reminds the fans of their role on Sunday. Like your noses, you can pick the results. Here are your choices to face Randy Orton for the title. One is Captain Ken. Let's take a look at the other two? We'll give you the rundown, Kennedy's opinion on them, and even tie it in to a neat little politically relevant theme. Jeff Hardy: Like Hillary Clinton. "Pretty little blonde hair." "Famous last name." "Like Hillary, he has no testicles!" (JG Note: He thinks Hardy has "pretty little blonde hair?" Creepy. I'm sure you didn't mean it like that, eh Dumbledore?) Shawn Michaels: Like Rudy Giuliani. "Talk tough." "Impressive resumes." "Let's face it. They both live in the past." (JG Note: No mention of the fact that they're both going bald..) "What have you done for me lately? Asks Double K. HBK hasn't done anything worth mentioning in years while Kennedy has beaten Undertaker, Batista, and Rey Mysterio. He's won Money in the Bank. He's been United States Champion. It so inspiring that K.K. quotes another famous Kennedy. Jamie...
"Ask not what Mr. Kennedy can do for you, but what each and every one of you can do for Mr. Kennedy. Because make no mistake about it. If elected, I will defeat Randy Orton. There will be a new WWE Champion. Misterrrrrr Kennedy!" This brings Jeff Hardy out of hiding. His voice echoes out and no one knows where he is until the camera zooms in. Standing in the audience, Jeff has a microphone in hand. Although far away and buried in a sea of audience members, Hardy is easily spotted by Ken who simply spins in place. It was like magic. He found him so quick. Amazing. He must be really good at the Where's Waldo books. Hardy tells K.K. that he need not pander to fans. After all, his approval rating "sucks". He can tell by standing out in the crowd. This drives Kenny over the edge. Shut up, Jeffery. You don’t want to get into "a debate" with Dr. K, do ya? Nah. Have fun with the peons, punk. Eat their stale popcorn. Kiss their stanky babies. Shake their grubby hands. Eat their grubby babies. Whatever. You're just a failure anyway. Au contraire…Mon frier! You're the true failure, Mr. Ken Eddy. Need some examples? Aight...
"You tried to pass yourself off as a McMahon and you failed. Last week, you tired to kick my ass and you failed! And you think they're going to vote you in to face Randy Orton at Cyber Sunday? Guess what, dude. You're gonna fail at that too!" With his foe frustrated, The Hardy Boy offers to show Kendall one vote he can win. He calls out the stale popcorn eating masses and asks whether or not they'd like to see Kennedy Kennedy get his ass kicked kicked right now. If applause is vindication, then it seems like he gets a yes. Hardy rushed the ring, tackled the evil one, and the two men engaged in fisticuffs. This brought out Randy Ortonm who joined Ken in the battle. It didn't last too long though as he was was eventually chased away… ...BROCK LESNAR! No. That would be cool though, right? Nah. It was Shawn Michaels. Duh. Who'd'ya think? Don't you know how the Cyber Sunday Salespitch works? Randy runs away fromby Shawn Michaels and his punches. When the scuffle settled down to The McFake and Rainbow Haired Warrior, Jeffy got the upper hand. He sent Mister to the floor and his theme music played - a wrestling sign that he has "won the battle." Still to come: Candice Michele vs. Beth Phoenix. Two out of three falls. Why? 'Cause five out of seven would take too long. Waka-waka-waka! Commercial Break. The real one. Not the pitbull. Tomorrow, WWE Magazine has it's 500th Anniversary issue. Man. Has it been that long? The first magazine came out in 1507? Damn. Now I feel REALLY old. Hey Paul. Hey Brian. Whatcha been up to? Nothing much, Mickie. Just jobbing. You? Same. COOL! Let's hang out! 1. Brian Kendrick, Paul London, and Mickie James defeated Trevor Murdoch, Lance Cade, and Melina when London pinned Murdoch. Sure, I joke about jobbing, but it seems like WWE is at least putting some effort into London and Kendrick a bit. At one point, Lawler even mentioned how they were the longest reigning tag team champions on Smackdown. He leaves out the part about creative forgetting there even were tag team titles on Smackdown at the time, but eff it. A reign is a reign. He even mentions their shortened WWE tag title reign recently in South Africa. At least more casual fans can get some respect for them instead of thinking that Kendrick is really just Zach Gowan with long hair and a new leg. As for London, he's shaved off his moustache but kept his beard. He now looks Amish. Technology-shunning or not, he still got the pinfall. In an act of kindness…or love…or loving kindness, Trevor Murdoch pushed Mickie James out of harm's way and cost his team a victory in the process. Cade came running at her, but Trev moved the damsal in distress. Becuase of this, Murdoch took the brunt of the lariat and laid on the ground as Amish Paul made the cover. Uh oh. Mickie. I think he loooooooooove you. I think he loooooooooove you. As she walked up the ramp, a confused Mickie stared back into the ring as if he were an algebra problem. Guess who's in the arena? The Diva Search Girls. Jim Ross feigns excitement.
Commercial Break. In another section of the arena, we see how exciting the show is. Even the on-hand talent can figure out better things to do than watch it. Take Cody Rhodes for example. The son of a son is reading the 500 Year Anniversary WWE Magazine while sitting on a box. Yay. Reading is for fundamentalists…or something like that. This brings in the World's Greatest Tag Team, who hate reading. Yeah. Screw Amelia Badelia! Seeing the special edition mag, Shelton Benjamin makes a joke about how "500" happens to also be how many times Codedust has lost to Bob Holly this month. Angered, the young Rhodes shows us that he's got some issues to work out as he informs Shelly that at least he respects Holly. Also, Bob "doesn't look like a total tool as a blonde." Uh…Whatever floats your boat, kid. Strangely enough, Benji returns the subtle flirting by telling the rookie that he'll be "spanking" him in their match. Then, after the match is over he can dye his own hair blonde and, be a skinny, less attractive version of his father. (JG Note: Using Dusty and Holly to make each other jealous? Come on, guys. Get a grip. Can't you see? Can't you see? You're in love with a capital L. If you care for him, Shelton…then go - to - him. Go to him.) After this strange exchange, Shelt runs off to take a cold shower and Charlie Haas steps in to put an exclamation point on his partner's rank-outs.
"Snap!" William Regal is in the Queenly Paintings Room with John Coachman. It seems as the Good Coach is taking his liberties with Mr. McMahon out of the country. Coachy has apparently asked for some sort of match involving Vinnie Mac's illegitimate son, Hornswoggle. Willie takes great pleasure in the fact that many are saying Coachman's cartoonish fate last week came at the hands of a VKM double-cross. John says that Regal doesn't understand. The McFamily are firmly behind this whole thing. The Macs aren't out to stop The Bastard Hunting. They're for it! All of them! Shane, Stephanie, Linda, John Boy, Ed, Jim, Rob, Julio, Uncle Cupcake, Gob, Dennis, Mario, Waluigi, and Skip would all be grateful. Apprehensively, Will listens to this argument and finally supports a match between Horny McSwoggle and Johnny Coachman. Oh…hold up, Louie Theroux. You must have misunderstood The Coachly One. He doesn't want a match featuring himself against Hornswoggle. He wants a match featuring Umaga and Hornswoggle. What say you make that match instead? After wrinkling up his forehead, William makes a Robert Deniro face and walks away. Still to Come:
Commercial Break. Not Safe For…well, anywhere really. 2. Cody Rhodes pinned Shelton Benjamin with a roll-up
This was the type of thing you can see coming a mile away. Think about it. Cody has been challenging Holly, right? They have this weird little respect thing going on. Bob abuses Rhodes. Rhodes takes it. Bob gets off on that. Tonight Code is taking on one half of a tag team with the other half at ringside. Let's just play it out logically. Charlie Haas jumps in and joins his partner in a two-on-one post match attack - Check. Cody Rhodes gets saved by….Hardcore Holly. Check. Seems like it could work out. Also, it looks like Holly may have chosen a young man to pass the torch to finally. Only problem. Bob doesn't have a torch. Never did. Not sure he's ever even seen the torch. Maybe he's got a lighter or a book of matches, but no torch. Sorry, Cody. By the way, don't ask to borrow his rental car.
3. D.H. Smith pinned Carlito Cool after a Powerslam Good to see Harry Smith on Raw. Not so good to see him named "D.H." Whatever, though. Maybe it'll catch on. He looks like Davey Boy enough that it should help him out too. Throughout the match, King and J.R. made references to the match these two had last week in the U.K. They even mentioned that it was streamed on WWE's website, which shows that they put it up there to drive traffic to the site as opposed to seeing what the reaction is. Usually they ignore things like that. As for the other half of this matchup, you have to feel a bit bad for Carlito. Here's the first guy to go through the post-return Triple H Feud Machine (JG Note: Still running smoothly after all these years.) and spit out the other end two notches below where he started. I mean, look at Carly. He was being used great for a while until he ran into Hunter. Now he's jobbing in four minutes to the new guy. Taking a page from the family playbook, Designated Hitter Smith nailed the Bulldog Powerslam and scored the pinfall. Backstage, Candice Michele and Beth Phoenix are staring deeply into each other's eyes. Beth promises to make Candy bow down to her tonight, but the former Women's Champion refuses. She vows to win back her title and then delivers this unintentionally hilarious line:
"Not you or anybody else will make me get down on my knees." Chew on that one for a while. While you do, watch these adverts. Commercial Break. Who knew that Pac Man sounds like my plumber? Still to come: Leather Boy and Rainbow Head versus RrrrrrrrrrrrrrKO … ...O! Video Package of the horrible Coachman-Hornswoggle feud complete with an ACME-style bomb going off. It's very silly like the Looney Tunes cartoons that all the kids are watching nowadays. Ah kids. With their Bugs Bunny, stickball, kick the can, and Necco Wafers. Watching their Howdy Doody, listening to Allen Sherman, and drinking their Ovaltine. Oh such little scamps. Cue this guy:
Umaga seems to have ditched his dreadlocks. He's going for a greasy new 'do. He should go back to dreads as the new look makes him seem like a big, scary lady with a tattooed face. After the Samoan Bulldozer hit the ring, Hornsoggle came out as well. The McBastard danced up the aisle. When he did, he walked up the ringsteps, and then… 4. Umaga vs. Hornswoggle never happened because Hornswoggle ran away. Everyone stared at the ramp wondering whether Horny would return for his battle. (JG Note: Uh…I was under the impression that running away wasn't an option. If it is, then what's the point of booking these punishment matches?) Coachman stared at the curtain but the little McMahon Bastard didn't come back out. Well, at least not the one we were expecting. Triple H is here! The Game! The King of Kings! Captain Underpants! He's in the house and five years removed from the night he banged Katie Vick. (JG Note: If the coffin's a rocking, don't come a'knockin'! Booyah.) No time for memory lane, though. Hunter's here to fight. He jumped Maga and the two brawled all around the ringside area. They couldn't be stopped! Referees, old men, chubby guys, and teenagers all showed up to hold them back but couldn't. Wonder why. The fight raged on and featured a pretty cool spot when Trips leapt off the announce table onto the Samoan below. It wasn't a match, though. There were no rules. Instead Triple and Umi went and had themselves a little ol' pier six brawl as we fought into the… Commercial Break. Harder. Better. Faster. Drunker. …and we're back! Man in the box - get back in that box! After taking a look at the action before the bell, we watch an irate Umaga backstage. Half of his face paint is now gone and that makes him angry! (JG Note: Not mad. Only dogs get mad. - This unneeded and unused piece of grammatical correction has been brought to you by all of my elementary school teachers.) From there, we head over to Todd Grisham. The Grish is back and he's ready to eliminate another Diva Search girl. Guess who goes home? Lina. Yeah. You have no idea who the hell that is. Fess up. This shocking cut brings us down to the final two - Brooke and Eve. Each woman gets thirty seconds to make their plea. They both do begin campaigning. It's loads of fun. I have no opinion really either way, but I'm leaning towards Eve on this one since WWE already has a Brooke. Also, Eve made this strong argument for my vote:
"I'm the only one who has the physical ability. The sex appeal. The mental. And I want to entertain you." Come on. She has "the mental." If that doesn't guarantee her a win, I don't know what does. She has the mental. Come on, people! Once the Divas end, we go to the Mister Legend Killers Locker Room and see Randy Orton talking to his partner. He lays it on the line for Ken Kennedy. Straight up, Blondie. No one likes you. You're like Pip, Lucy Van Pelt, and Mr. Gorply. No one likes you. How are you going to get votes for Cyber Sunday? People don’t vote for losers they don't like. (JG Note: I guess Randy never heard of Sanjaya.) Kendall tells his partner to sit tight and see for himself. Don’t worry, Orty. Kennedy isn't going to let you lose tonight. He'll get your back. But when it's over, though…he might just get you back. Bam. See what we did there? You see? Get it? Get it? Good. 'Cause you might have more to deal with than just a Superkick, kiddo. Ort tells Kenny that he doesn't want to make him into a Mister Enemy. The warning yields no expression from Dub-K. He simply tells his partner that he'll "see ya out there…partner." Stop. Santino time. MNM (Marella-n-Maria) hit the ring and, of course, Santa greets the crowd.
"You see what this is? This is the 500 anniversary issue of WWE Magazine. It's a very special issue. Everybody is in there. The Rock. The Undertaker. The Bret Hart. Stacy Kiebler. My Maria. Andre The French Giant. Jillian Garcia. And there's one guy who's mentioned 283 times. Stone Cold Steve Austin. You know who's not mentioned? Not even one time? The greatest superstar in the WWE. Santino Marella. Even Mantaur is mentioned. Seriously though. Open to page 74. Mantaur." This bleeds into a Save_Us.222 viral video interruption. For some reason, this one felt like it was really leaning towards Jericho. It also seemed to be long enough to imply that it's ready to burst soon.
"Is that you Stone Cold Steve Austin? Are you trying to send me a message? Of course not. That would require guts - something you don't have unless you have a director there to protect you. Cut! Don’t touch him. He's a movie star. You just relax in the safety of your own home, Stone Cold. Watch yourself on DVD on the pretend. Just know this. If you ever come in here and try to mess with me, I'm going to open a can of the ass-whip so big. I'm gonna spray it all over your big fat head. And that's the bottom lines…" 5. Ron Simmons defeated Santino Marella via disqualification During the match, a small Maria chant broke out. Kinda weird. She's not doing anything. It's like they're cheering her on to stand there. (JG Note: Go Maria! Stand still! Don't fall down! Balance, girl! Balance! Ma-ri-a! Ma-ri-a!) This one went on for a bit, but ultimately ended in a way that made all the men watching scream, "Damn!" After being tossed into the corner, Santino tried to avoid a charging Simmons by kicking him square in the nuts. Yeah. Seeing Marella slam his foot intentionally into Ron's little acolytes, the referee has not choice but to call for the bell. In an interesting move, the announcers questioned whether or not the move was done on purpose and called up an instant replay. The video tape only backed up the ref's decision though. The Miracle of Milan is a Testes Punter. Hey Stone Cold - wear a cup. Todd Grisham is in Promo-Central with Triple H. Apparently Hunter was playing hopscotch in the rain a few minutes ago because he's sopping wet. Gameboy tells Todd that he doesn't care about fan votes for the match stipulation at Cyber Sunday. All the choices fans can vote on don't matter because Hunter wants all three anyway. (JG Note: Way to put over the concept, Trips.) He saw fear in Jamala's eyes earlier. You will fall to the H-Man on Sunday, Samoan. It's "Gay, Mon!" Oh wait. "Game On." That makes more sense, I guess. "Game On." Sorry about that. 6. TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS: WWE Women's Champion Beth Phoenix defeated Candice Michele in two straight falls. Fall One: Beth Phoenix pinned Candice Michele after a Tree Slam I guess this is an experimental week. Let's see how well these two can sell the show. I mean, I don't remember seeing a two out of three falls women's match as a major focal point of a show since…well, ever. Seriously. Never. I remember the Glamour Girls vs. The Jumping Bomb Angels was two out of three at the 1988 Royal Rumble, but that wasn't a big selling point of the show. It was just a pointless thing that seemed to last forever. This has been the match they really hyped in advance for the show, alongside the main event tag match. Believe it or not, people were into it too. It just proves the old feeling that a match is as important as WWE makes it out to be. What sucks about two out of three matches is that the first one or two falls are always ridiculous. People get pinned in ways that they'd never get pinned in a one fall match. This happened like that here too. The first fall came to a sudden, abrupt, and strange end when Phoenix slammed Candice with a Tree Slam and got a three count. Tree Slam. She should rename it "The Slamazon." Yeah. "Slamazon." That would be terrible. Fall Two: Beth Phoenix pinned Candice Michele after Candice took a nasty bump. The fans started clapping for Candice Michele to comeback in Fall Two. You know who Beth reminds me of a little bit? Anne from Arrested Development. No clue why. Seriously. Anyway, comparisons to George Michael's ex should be the least of Glammy's worries. She should have focused on Candy more. Michele kept coming at the Phoenix and hit her with a barrage of offensive moves. When the former Playboy girl climbed the turnbuckles, the current WWE Women's Champion shook the ropes. They shook and... Candice fell straight down and slammed her face into the mat.
It looked sick. At first, it seemed like a work, but the impact was pretty intense. While the ref leaned in to check on her, things seemed like they were all planned. However, when Phoenix came towards him, he audibly whispered "bring her out and cover her." She did and when the Women's Champion went for the cover, you could hear the referee clearly say, "This is it. This is it," as he counted three. Following that, he gave the X-arms and told Lillian, "She's really hurt." Dr. Bowtie and the referees came out to get Candice up and moving. At one point, she was sitting up and drinking water, but ended up laying back down. The EMTs called for an ambulance and the whole scene was pretty surreal. As the stretcher came, we took another two looks at the nasty fall she took and you could see her catch her feet on the top rope and land awkwardly on her face. It wasn't pretty at all. The post-match camera fixation on Michele (complete with replays) were a clear sign that they needed to fill the time that the match would have went. It didn't come off like an angle or anything. I really hate to see stuff like that. Hope she's okay.
Back from the break, we run down the Cyber Sunday card. You know, C.M. Punk looks like a young Charles Manson.
Hey Shawn. You all set for our match tonight? No problem, man. Yeah….yeah. Hey. Can you stand closer to the window? The barber shop window?
Yeah. Just…a bit closer. I just want to show you something. I want to.... HYYYYYYYAH!
The Rocker Boys head to the ring. They await their opponents. Spring 2009: Hey, Ken. We love the Kennedy Kennedy gimmick. Yeah. We got a lot of good years out of it. We pushed it hard. You just finished your feud with Hunter for the WWE Title. Now it's time to move you on. Here. Put this on. Uh…is this a habit? Yup. Listen to this idea…."SISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTER….KENNEDY!" I'm not sure I like this idea…. Your call. You can either stay "Mister" and get released or you can become "Sister" and start a feud with Samoa Joe on this Friday's edition of Extreme Smackdown. What's it gonna be? 7. Shawn Michaels and Jeff Hardy defeated Ken Kennedy and Randy Orton when Hardy pinned Kennedy. I hadn't really thought about Kennedy vs. Michaels, but it would be a pretty good feud whent hey do it. You have to hope that WWE is planning that for some point. I feel like HBK would be able to pull Ken into some pretty amazing matches and bring him to another level. Shawn does it with everyone. He's just gets better every year. I know you're going to think this is a plug and it's not - just a point - during Daivari's interview this week. There's really only one Heartbreak Kid. Most of the match was spent with him in the ring too. It lead to a slow buildup and when things finally boiled down to the Hardy hot tag, the crowd was going ape sheet. J.H. jumped K.K. Michaels and Orton got into the mix too. This left Jeff in control. He knocked Ken to the mat and nailed a pretty brutal Swanton Bomb for the victory. Following the bell, Dandy Randy spotted Rainbow Head celebrating and ran in for his RKO. He was unsuccessful as the Hardy Boy spun him around and pushed him away...just as Shawn Michaels stepped into the ring and nailed his Sweet Chin Music. For the third time. J.R. screams how HBK has hit "the trifecta," we watch some replays, and Randall takes a nap as we fade to black. All in all…The show had some moments that are fairly important. Overall, it was okay. Shawn Michaels, Mr. Kennedy, Randy Orton, and Jeff Hardy all put on a great match. The gist here was that although Jeff got the win, it's still Michaels who seems to have to real conflict with the Champion. While it's conceivable that Hardy could get most of the votes, I doubt it. I think Shawn is a run away winner in this one, but the possibility - albeit small - is there for a Jeff victory. Plus, Kennedy should be arguing that he'll win when the votes split between the two babyfaces. I'm surprised they didn't play that up more. The main event was still well done, though. I think the three candidates are getting put over very well. Jeff Hardy feels more like a main eventer now with his inclusion in this feud. He also seems more and more viable as a big names as the weeks tick down. The only problem is that anytime he gets momentum, he does something stupid and ends up back at Square One. I say it every time he's on an upswing, but if Hardy can keep this momentum, he'll be over big. The Candice thing was sick. It's never fun seeing that. WWE's website said that they were checking on a shoulder injury at this point. We all wish her a quick recovery. There's not much else to say about this match. In the end, it wasn't anyone's fault. It was just a bad bump that could have happened at any time to anyone. Trevor loves Mickie? Hmmmm. I wonder what Kelly Kelly's Balls think of that. Seems like both stories are cut from the same cloth, no? I'll leave you guys to analyze all the frames of the Save_Us virals. I can only speak for what I saw and it definitely seemed a little Y2Jish. Without rewinding and all that, I think many of us noticed the picture of the wall breaking down at the end. It just seems like Jericho is going tot be the guy and even if we all know ahead of time that it's him, it'll still get a great reaction. During our Club audio a few weeks ago, Canadian Bulldog and I spoke about the fact that Chris's initial 1999 debut wasn't a surprise by the time it happened. Fans still went nuts for it. Holly and Cody are finally together. It's a good concept. I may have been jerky about it during the show, but if they do it right, it could work.
I have a feeling the Stone Cold-Santino confrontation is right around the corner too. At this point, he seems like a stalker. All he talks about is Austin. Maybe that's Santino's new gimmick. He just calls out people that aren't going to show up. There's money in that. He could feud with George W. Bush, Maya Angelou, Mantaur, and tons of other people. I don’t know. It wasn't a horrible show, but there's been better. It always seems like the worst part of Cyber Sunday is the Cyber Selling. The shows leading into it can seem pointless considering that many matches aren't even known at the time. So it goes. Hopefully Sunday will be fun. Hopefully. Be well! Thanks for sharing the Insanity. © Copyright by WorldWrestlingInsanity.com WorldWrestlingInsanity.com is not
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