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JG's 10/29/07 Raw Insanity: Shawn Michaels Admits To His Small Package, Hornswoggle Feels Up Coachman, and No One Saves_Us
By James Guttman
Philadelphia Holiday Inn Conference Room...
Vince McMahon: Ladies, gentlemen, midgets, and divas, we hope you've all had fun at our Halloween party so far. Now, in the spirit of Cyber Sunday, it's time for you guys to vote on the best costume here. Finlay: (walking up to Vince McMahon) My name is FINLAY and I like to go to the bathroom! Vince: (rolling his eyes) Down the hall and to the left. (continuing) Anyway, let's get this moving. In the front of the room, we have some of our top costumes gathered. Give them a big round of applause. Polite Applause Stephanie McMahon: CLAP, YOU BASTARDS! Loud Applause Vince: First up is our favorite Rattlesnake, Stone Cold Steve Austin! He's dressed as…uh, what's your costume supposed to be, Steve? Stone Cold: What am I? I'm Carmen Miranda. Look at my fruity hat, ya silly son of a bitch. You like my hat? Huh? Want some fruit? Go on. Take it. Take a banana. You like bananas? Huh? Are you a monkey? What? Are you Dr. Zaius? What? Are you Banana Man? What? Are you Banana Republic? What?! Are you Bananarama?! What?! Did ya hear a rumor that I had a broken heart? What?! Am I your Venus and you're my fire?! What? What? What? EH EH! Vince: It looks great, Steve. Great costume. Austin: WHAT?!
Vince: Okay. Let's bring out our next contestant. Dressed as a pussycat…it's Maria! Maria: (pouty) I'm a pussycat. Meow. When you pet me, I purr. Purrrrrrr. I wike to dwink water. Stephanie: GIVE HER SOME WATER! STOP! LET HER DRINK SOME WATER! Vince: Stephanie, I'm the host here. Can you let me do my job, please? Stephanie: Grrrrrr….. Finlay: (running up to Vince McMahon with his pants around his ankles) My name is FINLAY and I like to use toilet paper! Vince: It's in the vanity. (continuing) Next up, in his cardigan sweater, is Mr. Kennedy. Mr. Kennedy: You all may know me as Mr. Kennedy, but tonight I am… Misterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Rogers! (long pause) Rogers. Vince: Very nice. Kennedy: Would you like to be my neighbor? Vince: (laughing) Ha ha. Sure. Kennedy: Really? Can I have my mail order stuff sent to your house? Vince: Sit down.
Finlay: My name is FINLAY and I like to flush your decorative soaps down the toilet. Vince: (annoyed) You better be kidding. Finlay: Um….my name is Finlay and I like to use your toilet plunger…and a mop. Vince: In the linen closet. (continuing) Next up, dressed like Grandpa Munster…Ric Flair! Ric Flair: I'm not dressed like Grandpa Munster. Vince: Oh. Sorry. Are you suppose to be like a Crypt Keeper or Zombie? Flair: I'm not wearing a costume, douche bag. Vince: Oh. Uh, sorry. I was, um, kidding. Flair gives Vince a disgusted look and then walks off stage. Vince: Up next…Dressed as a Barbarian. The King of Kings. The Master of Disaster. The Cerebral Assassin. The Game…TRIPLE H! Hunter's music plays out, pyrotechnics explode, and smoke rises from the floor. Kennedy: (whispering to Austin) Hey. How come I didn't get a big entrance like Hunter? Austin: Is this your first day here? Give me a break. Stephanie: CLAP! YOU PEOPLE BETTER FRIGGIN' CLAP! AHHHHHHH! Loud Applause. Muffled Tears.
Austin: (scowling) Man, you always dress up like a Barbarian. Triple H: Yeah 'cause Barbarians are awesome. They're like the coolest warriors ever. Austin: Are not. Hunter: Are so! Barbarians are so cool! You don't even know! Austin: They seem kinda lame. Makes me think of the Powers of Pain guy in antlers. Hunter: Shut up. That was a gimmick. Real Barbarians are sick, man! They pillage! They conquer villages! They make Christmas toys! Austin: No they don't. Hunter: Do so! Vince: No. He's right, Hunter. I think you're thinking of elves. Barbarians don't make toys. Hunter: (embarrassed) Fine. Whatever. Shut up. I'm a Barbarian. Screw toys. I conquer stuff. Vince: Splendid. So there you have it, guys. These are our top costumes. The vote is up to all of you. You can choose Steve Austin as Carmen Elektra. Austin: Miranda. Vince: Sure. Fine. Whatever. You can also vote for Mr. Kennedy as Mr. Rogers, Maria The Cat, Ric Flair as his scary-ass self, or Triple H as Lothar of The Hill People. I'll go tally the votes. In the audience, some people look confused. Cody Rhodes: (whispering) I didn't vote. Bob Holly: (whispering back) Shut up., You don't vote, stupid. We do this every year. Vince: Okay. I've done the math and our winner…with 235% of the votes…TRIPLE H! Confused Applause Hunter: (beaming) Hooray for Halloween! Hooray for math! Hooray for me! Vince: Thank you, everyone. Enjoy the rest of the party. The cake will be out soon! Finlay: My name is FINLAY and I like to make pee pee on the cake. Vince: Forget the cake, folks. Party's over. Get the hell out of here.
James Guttman and Mike Rickard
Aaron Wood's Non-Director's Commentary on: WWE Raw
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"
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The WrestleFanFest Debacle, Not Getting Paid, Disappointed Fans, The Don Frye Fight, Kristal and Lashley, Flair in TNA, Cyber Sunday, Disagreeing With Booker T's Philosophies, Meeting Chyna For The First Time, Today's Mick Foley, and More Plus... ClubWWI.com features uncut shoot interviews with over 90 of wrestling's top names including: Samoa Joe, Christian Cage, Eric Bischoff, Jerry Lawler, Kevin Nash, The Steiner Brothers, Nick "Eugene" Dinsmore, A.J. Styles, Demolition, Ted DiBiase, Dustin Rhodes, Vince Russo, Brother Devon, Ivory, Molly Holly, Tammy Sytch, Christopher Daniels, Christy Hemme, Bobby Heenan, Earl Hebner, Bad News Brown, Kamala, The Missing Link, Bobby Eaton, Ricky Morton, Heidenreich, Road Warrior Animal, La Resistance, One Man Gang, Kevin Sullivan, Diamond Dallas Page, and many, many, more!
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ClubWWI
. Fresh from Cyber Sunday, it's Jim Ross and, fresh from the parking lot of the Hannah Montana concert, it's Jerry Lawler. The dynamic duo is at ringside for tonight's Cyberifiic Raw. We have Triple H taking Randy Orton and Umaga…friggin' again. But first, let's bring out the girls who haven't changed their clothes since last night. It's our costumed WWE Divas! Costume Rundown Maria - Cat (real Cat. Not the stripping girl that ruined years of Jerry Lawler's life) Mickie James - Indian Woman Torrie Wilson - Football Player from the No Fun League Extreme Expose - The Village People or something. They're also using Candice Michele's old Holla- a-a-a-a music Melina - Showgirl. She can't balance her hat so she has to hold it the whole time. Jillian Hall - Britney Spears (seeing Jill in the outfit makes you realize that Britney is more attractive than you thought) Michelle McCool - Eve. So she says. She's wearing a green dress and has a fake snake. Ghetto costime, Coolio. 1. Kelly Kelly won a Diva's Costume Battle Royal I can't believe they started Raw with this. It was pretty painful. I mean, let's be honest here. If we want to see a bunch of girls grinning and play fighting, you can do it live at any strip club for like five bucks. Even if the match was something you were into, it was just a terrible way to start a wrestling show and was put in a weird spot. Not sure I would have kicked off a post PPV Raw with something this fluffy. Talk about setting a bad pace for the night...
Elimination Order: Leyla by Jillian Following Double Kelly's victory, Beth Phoenix showed up to ruin everyone's fun. Christened a "buzz killer" by Jerry Lawler, the Glamazonian Women's Champion beat K.K. up and left her laying. The post match beat down almost makes you forget that Kelly, the fragile non-wrestling diva, actually won a battle royal over the whole division. Yeah. That's logical. Last night, Shawn Michaels won the vote to face Randy Orton at Cyber Sunday. Orton was disqualified for delivering some…uh, Sweet Balls Music. Commercial Break. Buy a Chevy and we'll throw in a free pinfall over Steve Lombardi. Scheduled for tonight: John Coachman vs. Hornswoggle. Shawn Michaels is in the house and he doesn't have the WWE Title around his waist. Although Kid Heartbreak won his match with Randy Orton, it didn't feature a pinfall or a submission. So, no go on the title change. That doesn't matter to the capacity crowd, though. They're firmly behind The Boy Toy and he chant Shawn's name and he responds in kind. After letting all the non-PPV buyers in on the good news/bad news from last night, HBK delivers, what might be the worst, strangest, and most insane promo of his entire career.
"I know there are a lot of folks that walk around this place and they talk about and brag about the size of their grapefruits. You're not gonna get that from me. HB Shizzle's gonna be honest with you. To hit these bad boys, you have to have pinpoint accuracy. Proof positive that Randy Orton intentionally got himself disqualified last night." (JG Note: Uh…WHAT?! I mean, did he just…WHAT?! Forget the whole HB Shizzle thing. That would be insane enough on it's own, but did he just say he had a tiny set of…WHAT?! That's just…uh….I don't know. Who the hell wrote this promo? How did that get put on paper without someone scrapping it? I mean…WHAT THE HELL?! Is this a bet? See if he can stay over after talking about his tiny testes? That's the only rational explanation I can put here. On top of all that, he called himself "HB Shizzle" and he didn't even use the "izzle" talk correctly. Wow. I'm just amazed right now.) Ol' Little Balls McCoy then makes demands. He didn't really lose last night. In fact, he won. So he should get a rematch. He wants that rematch and he wants it now! This brings out Vince McMahon with his ridiculous yellow boxes-covered sports coat and Wink Martindale haircut. Mr. McMartindale tells HBK that he's on to his scheme. You're all about yourself, Shawnathon. You only want revenge. You only want glory. Sure, you can be a born again. You can read the good book. But, at the end of the day, you have a rotten heart. You don’t turn the other cheek. You just kick people in the face. Vince has known you since you were 23 years old. That's the type of person you are, Mini-Nuts!
"I ADMIT IT! I admit it. I sat home for four months once again leaving this industry on somebody else's terms. When I came back in 2002, I sore I would never - ever let that happen again. The next time I leave this industry it will be when I say so. On my terms. Randy Orton tried to change that and that I cannot have. So I admit it. I want to hurt him. I want to make him suffer. I want to take him out in the prime of his life. Now do I have my rematch or not?!" Vinnie Mac tells Mikie Hick to be careful what he wishes for. According to the boss, Survivor Series is an appropriately named pay-per-view. You have to survive there. So, you want a shot? You got it! You'll get one at the Series. It's not just any old one either. It's the ten year anniversary. Remember that? Yeah. You'll get your title shot at the 10 year anniversary of that famous night! That's right! The night that Goldust turned on Vader! We'll see ya there. J.R. then explained that Michaels was "just toying" with the chairman. Ah. I see. You know, when I actually watch something on television and WWE needs to have someone explain to me what I just saw in order for it to make sense, then I'd say we're all in trouble. Commercial Break. You can't see me…or the snow on that mountain. The Diva Search ends tonight. I'm so excited that I could lapse into a coma. Cody Rhodes Untrue Fact: As a parody of TNA's gimmick for Dustin Rhodes, WWE was going to call Cody "White Rain" but scrapped the idea when the realized it was a brand of shampoo. 2. Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Bob Holly defeated The World's Greatest Tag Team when Cody pinned Charlie Haas. I really hope this can be the storyline hat works for Bob Holly. I know he gets a lot of abuse for the fact that he…well, gives out a lot of abuse, but it doesn't take away from him as a performer. Bob has a reputation that's been built on legitimate toughness. If WWE can play into that rep, they can help him and the people he works with. By taking the Rookie Killer and having him work with a rookie, they're setting up both guys for a good run. Also, when things get tired, they'll probably just have Holly turn heel on him anyway. In other words, they don't have to think too deeply about these guys for a while. The stories just write themselves. In the meantime, they can get quick wins over duos like the World's Greatest Tag Team. That's what they did here. With Shelton Benjamin on the outside, Codedust nailed a DDT on Charlie Haas (The first Radio Free Insanity guest - available on ClubWWI.com) and got a quick pinfall. How many matches can the World's Greatest Tag Team lose before people start suing them for false advertising? Still to come: The Diva Killer and Samoa Jamal take on Lothar in a handicap match. Commercial Break. One big scary family... Last week, Candice Michele smashed her face into the ring mat and broke her collarbone. Bah. Nothing a little drag by the arms and some bottled water won't fix. Beth "Sable in a Headband" Phoenix is standing by with Todd Grisham. Beth tells Dennis The Menace's dad that she's not like the other Divas. She doesn't dress up in costumes and she's not a poseur like Candice. Miss Michele might have tried to improve herself, but it wasn't worth a damn. Now she can go home to Wisconsin and wait tables. In other words, Go Home Daddy. Trevor Murdoch is reading WWE's 500th anniversary magazine backstage when Mickie James walks up to him. All smiles, Mickie seems to have gotten over her battle royal loss earlier tonight fairly quickly. Now she wants to be all dirty flirty with the country bumpkin. Golly gee, Sideburns, Miss Mickie is ever so thankful for your help last week. Blushing, Trev tells the former psycho that he can't stand by and let an innocent woman get hurt. Aww. M.J. giggles and says she's "not so innocent." Nice. Way to play hard to get, hooch. That's when Murdoch's partner, Lance Cade, walks in. As he does, James trots off and Cade gives his partner a stern look. What're ya doin, Cable Guy? You may be smitten over Miss James, but you have to get your head into this thing. You cost your team a win last week thanks to your chivalry. With that said, The Miz Lance informs Balls Mahoney Trevor that Kelly Kelly Mickie is way out of his league. He tells his partner to get 100% focused on rasslin' and stay that way. William Regal is in the Queenly Picture Room with Vince McMahon and he's not holding his tongue. Willie insists that the Chairman be more careful with his own well-being. Come on boss. Look at all the recent suspen…er, injuries around here. We can't have all these people getting hurt over and over. You came within a hair's length of getting your wooden teeth kicked down your throat by Shawn Michaels. That can't happen! Regal uses the Hunter-Umanga/Orton match tonight as an example. Come on, boss. It's like you're eager to see The Game put on the shelf again or something. VKM agrees. Right you are, Mr. Bentley. Vincent does want to see Hunter Hurt Helmsley. You see, this is personal. Speaking of "personal," Big Mac wants you to bring his son into the room. Please, go fetch Hornswoggle. We need to have a man-to-smaller man talk. On the order, Regal retrieves the leprechaun from the hallway. Mac dismisses the General Manager so he can have a private conversation with his kid. (JG Note: And the millions watching at home) Once the GM is gone, Daddy Mac has his Mini-Me take a seat on the couch. He then gives him some words of wisdom: "I know I haven't been around much for you and you kind of been on your own these last few weeks. I don’t' want you to get the wrong impression. We're of the same blood and …O.K. In order to be a make it as a McMahon, you've got to stand on your own two feet. That's all I'm trying to do is get you to stand on your own two feet. So I'm sure you think that I haven't cared much about you lately and I know you're wondering why this match is being made tonight, you against Coachman, and I'll tell you why. You see, I have a theory in life. That is every grown man, every grown man should be knocked on his ass at least once in his life. He should know what that's like. He should know that humiliation. You know what happens? If you're ea McMahon, you get knocked down, but then you get back up. You get knocked down again and you get back up. You keep getting back up until they just don't have it in them to know you down again. That's what you have to do. That's what I want to see out there. And the other thing is you have to know not just how to deal with that. You have to know who to deal with victory. You have to know how to deal with success. It's not always that easy. And as a McMahon you learn how to deal with that because it because your rightful thing to do - be successful. And when you're successful, you get it all. And there's one other ingredient here, that you've to learn more than anything else in the world - and you better damn well learn it, you better start tonight. If you're a McMahon, you have to learn to hate. You gotta learn to hate. I mean really from your heart because if you can't hate, you can't be successful. You've gotta hate. You go out there now and you show me that you can hate. Go." Little McHorny grunts like an animal and runs to the ring where he plans to make his dad proud…by grabbing John Coachman's penis. Up next: Hateswoggle vs. Wile E. Coachman Commercial Break. Shawn likes speed.
Up next is our big epic encounter between Hornswoggle and John Coachman. Both men come to the ring but before we kick things off, let's bring out our special guest referee. The guy who's just 1% more popular than one of Smackdown's biggest bad guys…Mick Foley! Yeah! Have a nice Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz… 3. Special Guest Referee Mick Foley: Hornsoggle pinned John Coachman after a Frog Splash Okay. Let's be honest here. Storylines aside, this match was a non-wrestler versus a midget. That's it. That's what we watched. While that might seem silly, you have to remember that this is the same company that charged people to see a 60-something year old man fight his daughter on pay-per-view. Also, in all fairness, to Mr. McMidget, he's a much better wrestler than his half sister. Horny kept the Coach at bay thanks to a number of assists from Cactus Jack. In one pivotal moment, Mankind helped the little guy keep the upper hand and stopped Coachman from hitting him with a chair. Having stopped the leprechaun from being smooshed into a green stain on the canvas, Mick took it up a notch and tossed him a mini sock. Swoggle put it on his hand, grabbed hold of Johnny's groin, and took him to the mat. After being molested, J.C. fell to the ground and Vinnie Mac's Little Bastard hit a Frog Splash for the pinfall. Yeah. Matches like this that only serve to make me angrier at Ken Kennedy. Todd Grisham is in the event center with the King of Games, Triple H. He reminds Trips, clad in his new Barbarian-esque Tee, of all his recent beatings. Hunter sarcastically thanks Grish for his pep talk but reminds us all that he always has an "Ace" up his sleeve. (JG Note: Bob Orton? AWESOME!) Trippie promises that if he goes down, he'll take Randy Orton and Umaga down with him tonight. On that note, Weirdo McBeardo switches to his gravel voice and informs those of who don't know that he is "The Game." Commercial Break. Oooo yeah. Why don't I remember this thing? Hey Brian. Listen, Vince wants us to change your name to "France." That way you and Paul can be "London and France." Yeah. Also, we want to have you wrestle in underpants. It doesn't matter if you like it or not. We already have the t-shirts made. You start on ECW next month. 4. Lance Cade (with Trevor Murdoch) pinned Paul London (with Brian Kendrick) after a Sitdown Powerbomb Talk about two underused guys. Lance Cade and Paul London can do a tremendous amount for this company and no one seems to care. Even worse? It's not like they aren't being used. Lance is a tag champ and Paul is a top contender. What does it say about WWE's current tag scene when you can look at two guys in the positions they're in and still be able to say that they're underused? I guess Paul is rebelling against his current spot by growing the strange beard now. He looks like Weird Al in the Amish Paradise video. Unfortuantely for him, he must have kept most of his power in that moustache because Cade made short work of Honest Abe and scored the pinfall. Following the finish, The Highlanders came out to the ring and beat up the losers. Intersting move, I guess. They deliver reverse slingshot suplexes to both London and Kendrick while Cade and Murodch watches from the outside. So, for those of you keeping score, Paul and Brian got to get beat up by the tag champions. Then they got beat up by another tag team. O.K. Terrific. I'm surprised WWE didn't have Snitsky come out and pee on them too. Commercial Break. Whatcha gonna do, Michael Vick, when Hulkamania runs wild on you? Hey. Why didn't we trick or treat at that guy's house? No way. That's Jeff Hardy's house. Last year he gave out dead fish and nail polish. I say we egg his house. 5. Jeff Hardy and D.H. Smith defeated Ken Kennedy and Carlito when Hardy pinned Carlito You know who D.H. Smith looks like? Ross the Intern from The Tonight Show. It's all good, though. That doesn't matter as long as he has a cool name. Well…actually, I guess that is a problem too. I mean, "D.H."? Who thought of that? It's not even a good pairing of initials. J.J. - J.R. - B.B. - O.D.B - Now those are initials. D.H.? It's designated hitter. They also have him in generic red half-shorts now too. So, there's a whole lot working against Dee Asch. Presentation aside, Smitty is in a good spot right now. Teaming with Jeff Hardy and doing some sort of mini-feud with Carlito and Kennedy is a good way to start out. Then again, it could be more of a sign that Carly and Ken are falling down the ladder rather than a sign that Smith is high up on it. The fans seemed to be into it, though. The Hardy Bulldogs stayed a few steps ahead of The Apple Misters and the crowd was firmly behind them. The match played out well too. Rather than letting the rookie get the pinfall, they had the IC Champion play the savior role and get the victory for his team after hitting Carly with a Swanton Bomb. It's an impressive win for the Green Haired Warrior and the Hart Foundation member who wasn't a problem. As Santino Marella makes his way to the ring, Jerry Lawler takes a moment to congratulate USA president Bonnie Hammer on being inducted into the Broadcasting and Cable Hall of Fame. Good for you, Bonnie. Imagine that - a Hall of Fame Broadcaster and you still found time to be a great M.C. Can't touch this indeed. Santino hits the ring and takes another step towards making his act tired and played out. Once again, he attacks "The Condemned." This time he's complaining to the WWE travel department for screwing up his itinerary and keeping him from Cyber Sunday. That's the only reason he didn't make it to the PPV to go off on the Bionic Redneck. Just as the Mohawk Mulleted Pisan gets ready to make a derogatory comment about Stone Cold's film, the glass break. Cue Steve Austin. You excited? Ha. Psyche. No way, kids. Instead of Stone Cold Steve Austin, we get Santino Marella doing a pre-recorded skit on the Titan Tron. The Milan Miracle is dressed in full Rattlesnake gear as he mocks the mannerisms of his bald-headed nemesis. Dressed as Steve, he says that Santino should be star of The Condemned and anyone who doesn't agree will get a "can of the ass whip, stomp a mudhpie, and eat some frozen yogurt." It sounds a lot funnier than it really was. Marella thanks "Stone Cold" for his honesty and applauds his eye for talent. That's when Maria runs out to the ring. Marella smiles and says that she can't get enough of him, but that's not why she's here. The bubble headed diva is here to tell her boyfriend that "he" will be here next week. "Pronouns, Maria. Who is "he?" Somebody from Philadelphia? Maybe Benjamin Franklin. Maybe Tom Hanks with the AIDs." Wow. Although it's not P.C. to say it, that line made me laugh. Political Correctness aside, the sad thing is that that line was the only one out of Marella's entire promo that I laughed at. What happened, Santa? To steal a phrase, "damn." Mary tells her Italian Stalian that "he" is Steve Austin and "he" will be at Raw next week. There's no explanation given as to why he's not at Raw this week, especially considering that he was on PPV last night, but whatever. The important thing is that WWE achieved it's goal. The live crowd is disappointed… right before we head into the Diva Search finals. Yeah. TAKE THAT! Eff you, live crowd! Commercial Break. Wii would like to… pretend that girls play wrestling video games in bikinis. Todd Grisham is doing the job he was hired for. He's introducing girls no one knows to a live audience that's already unhappy. Without further ado, let's bring 'em out. The Diva Search finalists! Who is it gonna be? Who will be the 2007 Diva Search winner? Eve or Brooke?Well, let's be logical here and really think this out…. 1. WWE already has a girl named Brooke. 2. The end. That's it. Eve Torres won. After the announcement, Eve hugged Brooke in a showing of sportsmanship. In turn, Brooke made a face that girls make when they get hugged by a girl they hate. Then, out of nowhere…
Who is it? I don't knoooooooooooooooow! Commercial Break. If you're going to apply to be on Dr. Steve-O, you might want to consider jumping off a building first. I mean, seriously. You're taking up our oxygen here. WWE airs a video that says Stone Cold Steve Austin will be on Raw next week. That's for all the people who mute the TV when Maria comes on. 6. Umaga and Randy Orton defeated Triple H via disqualification when Shawn Michaels interfered. Maybe it's just me, but I felt like this was the most predictable finish to Raw in a while. As soon as you realized that HBK was feuding with Randy and Hunter was facing him in a handicap match, it didn't take much to put 2+2 together. Especially when you facor in that this whole thing started with six minutes left in the show, you had to figure there was some sort of shenanigans coming. Some people might assume that Trips was going to be saved_222 by Chris Jericho. Then again, those are the people who always end up crying themselves to sleep on Monday nights. Those of us who know to err on the side of disappointment knew where this was going. Mere minutes into the bout, The Boy Toy rushed the squared circle and saved his Gamy friend, sending everyone into a frenzy. The ref called for the bell and the mach came to an end. We quickly shot to Vince McMahon and William Regal backstage. VKM tells his British buddy that next week - for one night only - we'll see the reunion of DeGeneration X. For some reason, this makes Lord William all giddy. He expresses his excitement and Vnnie Mac responds by doing his comatose dead-eye look and staring blankly at the wall. He's really big on that lately. Back in the ring, Maga and Orton scurry back to the locker room while DX does their trademark pose. J.R. promises us a good show next week as we fade to black. All in all… Boo. Look, let's just put all the cards on the table here. This show was a letdown. Most shows lately are letdowns. WWE is starting to make it a regular thing. The entire night seemed like we were killing time for the next big moment. Unfortunately, that moment never came. We didn't get Steve Austin, although it seemed like it made sense for him to be there. We didn't get a payoff to Save_Us.222.X29.LAUNCH.BATASS.WHATEVER. We didn't get much of anything. All the things we expected to have happen didn't. Now, I know the argument. WWE never stated that Stone Cold would be there. They also never said that we'd get the payoff to the viral videos. That's our fault. We've all been guessing and hoping. Well, the issue here is that when a company creates the feeling that you're going to see something big on a show, it's not the fan's fault for expecting it. It's the promotion's fault for creating the unwarranted anticipation. Even if WWE had no intention of featuring these two things tonight, the mere fact that they knew people would be hoping to see it should have forced them to create other key moments on their show. That didn't happen. We had Mick Foley show up to teach a midget how to hold another man's genitals while wearing a sock. We had a Diva Search winner that I wouldn't recognize if I tripped over her. In essence, we had a whole lot of nothing. While some fans might be content with knowing that we'll get Steve Austin and a DX reunion next week, some others won't. An eagerly anticipated show like this one that didn't deliver is going to turn off a lot of people who just don't have tenacious loyalty or patience to tune in each week in hopes that WWE will give them something they want to see. Some people just change the channel. It makes you wonder if the McMahons remember that. That doesn't include me, though. I'll be right back here with another edition of Raw Insanity. So, go ahead. Watch Heroes or Journeyman or whatever else they put on Monday nights. Mallory Mahling and I will fill you in. Say hi to Peter Petrelli for me. Be well!
Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on...
Lance
Cade D-Ray
3000 Bobby
Eaton Manny
Fernandez Greg Gagne Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Harley
Race Dave Taylor
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| All content contained here Copyright 2010 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
