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JG's 11/12/07 Raw Insanity: Hunter's Hunters vs. Umaga's Visionaries, Santino Marella Is From Hollywood, and The Hell in a Cellars Take Out The Tag Champs

By James Guttman
Nov 12, 2009 - 12:46 AM


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And now...

A Look Back At
Rejected Survivor Series Posters

1989

The Real Z-Man

 


 

 

1992

How about Hennig instead?

 


 

 

1997
 

 
2002




2006
 
 

 
 
2007

ClubWWI
ClubWWI.com Members, Check Out
All the latest audio posted in the past few days...

James Guttman's Post-TNA Genesis Report -
48 Minute Audio Report

The Difference Between Acknowledging and Assuming, Milky White Borash, What Kaz Says About TNA, Limo Magic, Goldilocks>Karen Angle, Good Points About The Machine Guns, James Storm The Muppet, 3DX, Awesome Kong, Big Daddy Claus, Transitioning Lethal, AJ and Tomko, Nobody's Kidding Don West, The Age of Excess, and More

Aaron Wood's Non-Director's Commentary For... WWE Raw
96 Minute Audio Report

Join Aaron as he watches the Monday Night Raw that returned to the '90s!

"The  Indies According To ZAH" -PWU
29 Minute Audio Report

Hot on the heels of a Club WWI interview with Tod Gordon from last week and a Club WWI interview with Too Cold Scorpio this week. ZAH has decided to take a look at the latest episode of Pro Wrestling Unplugged that features Gangrel vs. Justice Pain and a main event of Sid Vicious vs. the Too Cold one himself! 

The Uncut Shoot Interview with Too Cold Scorpio (40 Mins):

Tammy Lynn Sytch! 

Hear it all from the PWU Champion on ClubWWI.com   including:

His WWE Release, Paul Heyman's "Compulsive Lying" Disorder, Being Pro Wrestling Unplugged Champion, The Surprising Singer Vince McMahon Likes, The New ECW, How He Invented The 450 Splash, Too Cold or Two Cold, The Origins of His Name, Being Terry Funk's "Son," Chris Benoit, and More

 

 

 

 

Plus... ClubWWI.com features uncut shoot interviews with over 90 of wrestling's top names including: Samoa Joe, Christian Cage, Eric Bischoff, Jerry Lawler, Kevin Nash, The Steiner Brothers, Nick "Eugene" Dinsmore, A.J. Styles, Demolition, Ted DiBiase, Dustin Rhodes, Vince Russo, Brother Devon, Ivory, Molly Holly, Tammy Sytch, Christopher Daniels, Christy Hemme, Bobby Heenan, Earl Hebner, Bad News Brown, Kamala, The Missing Link, Bobby Eaton, Ricky Morton, Heidenreich, Road Warrior Animal, La Resistance, One Man Gang, Kevin Sullivan, Diamond Dallas Page, and many, many, more!

With a new uncut shoot  on the way this week!

If you're wondering what Club all your favorite stars are hanging out at, wonder no more.  They're at ClubWWI 

 


In honor of Veteran's Day, WWE dedicates Raw to all the veterans. It was a nice opening video. On a side note, Maria thinks it's really sweet that we show respect to doctors who care for animals and don't eat meat.

Last week on Raw, DX scored a victory, Steve Austin sprayed beer from his beer truck, and Los Boriqaus defeated The Nation of Domination.

Kick off your week-a… right here in Topeka! We're live from Kansas and at ringside with our announce team. During the day, they solve mysteries and kill criminals. At night, they become Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler. The King and The Okie have the best seats in the house for tonight's big event. Say, King. You like lumberjacks? Paul Bunyan? Big Josh? Brawny? Of course. We all do. We'll get ready 'cause tonight we're going to see a lumberjack match between Triple H and the Samoan Bulldozer, Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu MAGA…

…MAGA!

But first…

Dave Batista is here! The former Dudleyville Freakin' Deacon is on hand with the Smackdown title over his shoulder. He also has a live microphone as the buzzing crowd greets him with, well, buzzing. Tista says that he's gotten used to his new home on Smackdown, but it's always good to get back to Raw. His visit here this evening is not for fun, but for business. According to Mr. Smackdown, he's been invited by Raw General Manager Lord William Regal. The blushing Brit has offered to give Big Dave some Raw competition tonight. Great timing, Basil. Dave's more than ready:

"Although I appreciate the invitation, I have to say. Mr. Regal, you made a huge mistake. You see, I'm, ha, a little messed up right now. I'm gearing up for Survivor Series. I'm gearing up for Hell in a Cell. I'm gearing up for the Undertaker."
  - Dave Batista

Batty appears somber as he explains that his opponent in the cell "wants to kill" him. Once the door is locked, the Dead Man can try his best to bring the Animal into his netherworld. Not only that, but weapons are allowed. Can you believe it? Fine. Have it your way. But before the World Champ squashes some Monday Night Jobbers, he has something to say directly to the Undertaker. Listen up, Mean Mark…

Stop. Guess what.

He's here. Yeah. The bells hit. The mood changes. The fake storm reigns out. The Undertaker arrives. Crazy. But before there can be a battle, Lord William's music blares out and the Raw G.M.stepped onto the ramp. Immediately, he started effin' with the two Smackdown enemies.

" Now the two of you are opponents at Survivor Series and I invited you both here tonight for some competition.. But it's not against each other. We'll save that for Sunday. Tonight you're going to be partners and face the finest tag team on Raw"
      
  - William Regal

Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade come out and the crowd reacts in a way that just screams out, "Of course it's Cade and Murdoch. Whatever." Predictable winners aside, our first match is upon us and it's a doozy.

1. Dave Batista and The Undertaker defeated Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch when Undertaker pinned Cade

Say what you want about Taker's constant hiatuses, but it makes his time in action seem like a big deal. The mere fact that he's on Raw means a lot to fans. He could show up and just stand there motionless for ten minuets and people would still be like, "YO! THE UNDERTAKER WA S THERE! IT WAS AWESOME! Highlight of the show. No doubt." Plus, he's in kick-ass shape. Over the last few years, UT has upped his conditioning ten fold and it shows. Batista is also doing well too. The only problem with his feud now is that same problem with his feud against The Great Khali. Tista is a laid-back guy. His promos are quiet and deliberate. It works as long as he can play the strong and silent guy. The less he says, the better. In a case like this, he's doing most of the talking for the feud and it gives the whole thing a bit of a downer-feeling. They both looked good out there tonight though. Needless to say, the World Tag Team Champions came off like Jobbers-To-The-Stars against the Hell in a Cellars. Undie flattened Lance with a Tombstone and got the pin.

After the bell, Dave Batista returned to the ring and Batista Bombed Trevor Murdoch - just to one up the Undertaker. Taker responded by shooting Cade in the head with a pistol. He then turned to Tista and screamed, "Now what?! Now what you got, bitch?!"

Just kidding. Although, Dave really did power bomb Murdoch. That part was true.

Commercial Break. Daniel Larusso's gonna fight? DANIEL LARUSSO'S GONNA FIGHT!

Beth, you're on. They're playing your music.

I'm not Beth Phoenix.

Oh sorry. You're Jillian Hall, right?

I'm Shannon Moore, asshole.

Oh. My bad. My bad. Sorry 'bout that…

2. Beth Phoenix pinned Maria after the Fisherman's Suplex

At Survivor Series, there's going to be a ten woman Diva tag match. Great. That's kind of exciting… maybe. Either way, this one went as you would expect. It's like Chyna vs. Miss Elizabeth. Maria doesn't do much, but managed to get in some surprise shots on the Women's Champion. Know what good it did? Nada. Beth knocked her silly and closed things out with the Fisherman's Suplex. Oh no. Maria…who will defend your honor? Maybe the Italian with the fauxhawked Italian?

Santino! Santino! Ciao! Santino Marella is here and you think he wants to check on Maria, right? Wrong. She's fine. Forget her. Marella has more exciting topics to discuss? What? WHAT? WHAT?

"Now then. Last week, I, Santino Marella, was the victim of a brutal attack at the hands of Stone Cold Steve Ausitn. Oh, you like, huh? When I was flopping and flipping and slipping when I was sprayed down with Steveweiser. That's not funny for one second. Obviously Stone Cold Steve Austin can not take criticism for his his stupid poor acting ability in that damn movie. Whatever happened to the first amendment rule in America? Stone Cold Steve Austin…you own me an apology!"
                   - Santino Marella

Good luck on that, pal. Austin's not coming out. Sensing this, Marella turns his attention to someone else.

" Fine. Stone Cold's not here. I'm going to turn to his friend because I'm going to get my apology tonight so who better than good Old J.R.? You know, last week when I saw that stupid crooked smile on your face, I got so mad. Then I realized, that stupid crooked smile's there all the time. Nonetheless, I demand an apology right now.….Right now. I know I am from Italy and my English is not so good and your from Oklahoma and your English is even worse. But I said I demand an apology right now, SO STAND UP LIKE A MAN! COME ON!"
                      - Santino Marella

Full from BBQ and Tums, Jim Ross doesn't stand up. Instead, Jerry Lawler does. This sends Santa over the edge, he gets into the ring and taunts "Jerry Lawler" by repeating his full name over and over. Like an insane Zeppo Marx, Marella gives the King the first punch and tells the audience that their cheering will only get the Memphis King beat up. Jerry enters and Santino sticks out his chin. Go on. One punch Take it.

Just like Michael Keaton in Mr. Mom, Jerry Lawler only needed one punch. He gave Marella a Memphis punch and sent him spinning. Santino hit the ground and then rolled from the ring in frustration. Angry and dejected, the Miracle of Milan left the ring and, as he did, told Lawler, "I hate you!" He vowed to make King Not-Booker pay for that knuckle sandwich.

Then, in a moment that really pulled you out of the moment, Jim Ross immediately became emotionally distant from the whole thing and started plugging the upcoming Lumberjack match. Considering that he's sitting at ringside while two guys are fighting over him, I'd think that Ross would be upset. Meh. I know he's professional and all, but J.R.'s sudden apathy brought the segment to an abrupt end.

Commercial Break. I have vague memories of owning this.

Santino Marella is pretty upset backstage. He runs into Todd Grisham and holds his face the whole time. After repeating, "Jerry Lawler" a few more times, he lays down the challenge. Let's have a match tonight, Jerry Lawler. Let's do this!

"Like that guy in Taxi, I'm gonna beat you up!"
                                      
- Santino Marella

Jerry Lawler responds by saying that he has no wrestling gear tonight, but he'll accept anyway. (JG Note: Uh oh. I hope that doesn't mean that he's going to wrestle naked.) Now let's take a look at five weeks of Sweet Chin Music.

Randy Orton has been kicked in the face five weeks in a row. We watch all these head knocks and join exclusive WWE Mobil Phone footage from last week. It's Orton and Raw G.M. William Regal. Hey, Will. Here's a plan. New stips for the Championship bout at Survivor Series. Ready? Let's do it like this - if HBK uses, or attempts to use, the Super Kick, he gets disqualified…and, if Randy gets DQed, or attempts to, he's lose the WWE Title. What do you say, Man's Man? You down? Slick Willie gives Dandy Randy's match-making a thumbs up and we're a go.

Survivor Series Classic: Clips From The First Survivor Series - A.K.A. "Holy Crap! Did Hogan Lose?"

2. The Hardy Boys and Rey Mysterio defeated Ken Kennedy, MVP, and Fit Finlay when Jeff pinned MVP

Last week I said that it's a mistake to put Rey Mysterio on Raw and not announce it ahead of time. So what happens? They do it again. Naturally. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler seems shocked over seeing Matt Hardy and Rey Rey on Raw Raw. (JG Note: It makes you wonder why they don't get one of those "run-sheets" that Shawn Micahels keeps in his pants.) WWE has something really good with the Hardys. They have a natural fan base and will always be over with them. It's like the Rock-n-Roll Express. People still go insane for them. Same thing with the Hardy Boys. Every time they get introduced, you can hear the crowd react big. If the company puts any sort of promotion behind them, they can do a lot. In the case of Matt, his thing with MVP right now is some of the better stuff he's done. But, they need to move towards a finale soon. The shelf life is starting to run out. It took the crowd some time to warm up to this match and you had to worry that people were bored already. I guess most figured that this match was simply an exhibition to preview the PPV and we weren't too concerned over winners and losers. Speaking of winners, I don't get Finlay. His character is so one-dimensional yet they keep pushing him half-heartedly. The only thing his persona had going on was the Leprechaun…and they took it away. WWE needs to tell fans more about The Fighting Irishman instead of just putting him in high-profile matches. What makes him tick? How much Guiness can he drink? What's his motivations? Hopes? Dreams? Tell me, Fit Finlay. Tell us…about you. Until that happens, he has the whole Bob Holly thing going on. In a moment that just proves me wrong from last week, Jim Ross calls Jeff Hardy the man "formerly known as the Rainbow Haired Wariiror." Speaking of hair, MVP had his covered in a do-rag that made him look like Marc Mero. It must have been bad luck because Rey was able to nail him and Kennedy with a "stereo 619" and Jeff followed up with a Swanton for the pinfall. I tell ya. No matter how many times I see it, the Swanton is still an aweme sight.

Up next: Vince McMahon moderates a Shawn Micahels-Randy Orton debate. I will be very surprised if there's no dig on CNN during this thing.

It's sketchy video time! The Code is the Answer. The Answer is the Code. You all think it's Chris Jericho, huh? Pish posh. It's all a work. 222 is…

 

The Real Payoff

Heh, heh, heh. Sweet. How cool would that be? Seriously.

As for the video, this one gave us a countdown. The Savior is upon us…on next week's Raw.

Commercial Break. I just got Smackdown vs. Raw 2008. I haven't played it much, but the more I play, the more I like it. It's better than the last one and the fighting styles adds a lot to the gameplay. I should have an audio about it in the next few days.

The chairman of the board is standing center-ring and his name is Vincent Kennedy McMahon. The boss is here to moderate the big debate between two men who will compete in a "I Can't Get DQed or I Lose My Belt, But If you Kick My Face, You Lose" Match. First up, he's a former multi-time World Champion and, most importantly, he's a fan of women's cowboy hats…Shawn Michaels!

Once Kid Heartbreak hits the ring, Vinnie Mac introduces his foe. The one and only WWE Champion Randy Orton! Killer of Legends. Man among men.

Orton arrives and I love that he still has the spinny title. I bet he spins it when he's alone. I would. Looks like fun - like a See and Say without sound. Belt aside, there's some jawing to do. Randall and The Boy Toy go face-to-face at the podiums and immediately begin speaking about their upcoming encounter. They go over the exact stipulations, for those who can't grasp the concept for whatever reason. Once they get that out of the way, they discuss Shawn's foot. Randy has been eating that boot for weeks now. That's why you suggested this bout, Champ. You knew that the title was only a hop, skip, and a prance away from The Michaels Ranch. Now, you can't get yourself disqualified like you did at Cyber Sunday!

Argh! Cyber Sunday! Shut up with Cyber Sunday! Randy Orton is tired of that song and dance. He didn't get disqualified on purpose! This isn't about the title anyway, Michaels. You just want revenge. That makes you a hothead. When you lose your cool on Sunday, Mr. RKO is going to win. Not problem.  That's the idea.  HBK replies:

"Without the kick, what am I? You know, for years, I've listened to people say, "If Michaels can hit the kick, he can beat anybody. But you know, when I think about that I begin to wonder is that a compliment or a criticism? I mean I never saw myself as nothing more than a one hit wonder with an axe to grind. But who knows? You know. Maybe It's true. Maybe everything I've accomplished over the last 20 years, I don't know, maybe it's just been a fluke. Maybe all the people that I stepped in this ring with and taken to the top of the mountain. Who knows…Maybe it's just all been luck. I mean, you think about it, what a novel idea for me to walk into Survivor Series and win the WWE Championship with say a - wait for it, wait for it - maybe I can win the championship with a wrestling move or, Oooo, better yet. How about a submission hold? I don't know if I'm all that technically sound for all the kind of stuff. You know, uh, you gotta ask yourself, Randy. How's it gonna feel? How's it gonna be to be the only guy in WWE history to lose the championship to the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels when he didn't even have the option of using the Super Kick? 'Cause you know something, I don't need it. All I need, Randy Orton, is the memory of what you did six months ago when you tried to end my career by kicking my head off not once, but twice! All I need is the memory of the tears in my wife's eyes when they loaded me into that ambulance. And all I need is the memory of my two little kids wondering if I'll ever work again! All I need, Randy Orton, is the memory of you trying to end my livelihood."
                       
- Shawn Michaels

I'm waiting for him to burst into a rendition of "Something To Believe In" by Poison. I haven't heard poetry like this since "Hungry Mungry."

Too bad, Rocker. Tell your wife and kids to get ready to feel that pain again. Come Sunday, Cowboy Bob's special little guy is going to beat you senseless again.

Needless to say, them's fightin' words and Michaels takes them as such. He walks up to the arrogant Champion, but is stopped by Vince McMahon. HBK turns his back to the Legend Killer, who comes from behind him…

But Shawn sees this and tosses a Super Kick. Randy drops to the ground and stares up. It was a cool spot, but suddenly became nonsensical. As the evil Orton sat on the mat, Michaels turned his back again. This time, the cagy villain took him out by clipping his knee.

It looked like Randy was supposed to take out his knee when he tossed the Super Kick, but wasn't able to reach it in time. No biggie, though. It still came across well and you wouldn't have noticed if you weren't looking for it.

With The Boy Toy down, the Champion saw the opportunity to hit that patented Charlie Bown football kick to the head move. He backed up, ran at the fallen Dude with Attitude, and prepared to punt.

At the last second, Mr. McMahon stopped him. Wait until Sunday, kiddo. You can kick all the heads you want then. Save it. Save it for the ring, kid!This guy's a bum. You'll murder 'em to death!

The Legend Killer obeys the boss and doesn't kick Hunter's pal in the skull. Instead, he gives him the RKO. Clean. Simple. Point is made. Ar-kay-oh, baby! Booyah!

Side note - No CNN dig. I'm happy to see that. It's definitely a case where they don't have to take the high road, but chose to. Good to see that.

Commercial Break. A friend of mine in first grade won one of these. I kid you not. Saw the wrapper myself. At the age of six, it was the coolest thing I had ever seen.

Melina is here with her partners Jillian Hall and Leyla El. They are both wearing approved footwear.

Mickie James, Michelle McCool, and Kelly Kelly - you ladies ready? They're playing your music. You know what that means.

No. What does that mean?

Uh…it means you all have to make out.

3. Mickie James, Michele McCool, and Kelly Kelly defeated Melina, Jillian Hall, and Leyla El when Mickie pinned Leyla

This match was pretty blah. Raw reminded me of the Invasion at some points tonight. All the brands are together and we're supposed to "Oooo and Ahhhh" over seeing them all in the same match. I mean, it's cool and all that good stuff, but it still feels like there's no point to some of the segments. In the end, Mickie bent Leyla over and…uh, kissed her. Honest. She planted a kiss right on her lips. (JG Note: Well, that's…uh, hmmmm. Uh…thanks, Mickie.) She followed that up with a kick to the face and a three count. I have a new favorite female wrestler.

Commercial Break. What makes Sgt. Slaughter so spectacular? He has his own song - That's what!

Survivor Series Classic: In 1998, The Rock beat Mankind in a parody of the year-old Montreal Screwjob. Man. They've really been milking that thing forever.

Snitsky Video. He thinks that pain feels like pleasure. He likes it. Oooo. Makes him feel pretty.

4. Jerry Lawler pinned Santino Marella with a small package

At this point, Santino is working all the big-name mini-feuds. His thing with Steve Austin is somewhat confusing since we have no idea if it's even still going on. I guess he's over Ron Simmons now. Sad to think that Maria chose Marella over Simmons though, right? He was the good guy after all. He's supposed to get the girl. Damn! On top of the mini-feud circuit, Marella's stopping to put people over. This time around, he took a pinfall from the horny old uncle of Monday Night Raw. Lawler hooked the arrogant Italian and got himself a quick pinfall.

Arriverderci, punk arse.

Still to come: Umaga's Three Minute Warners face Triple H and the Triple H Dancers.

Commercial Break. Hey kids! Who wants to ride Michael Jackson's Love Scooter?

Save_Us Take II…

6 Day, 23 Hours, 33 Minutes…"Break The Walls." Yeah. It says that. Break 'em where? Down. Break 'em down. Break the walls down. Hey…you don't think it's…wow. It must be him. The Shockmaster. Sweet.

Back from the video, Jerry Lawler - who's not out of breath or sweating at all - says he's cracked the code. He thinks we'll find out on next week's Raw. Just as I'm thinking, "Well, duh," Jim Ross proved it wasn't a "duh moment" by replying, "I'm not so sure about that." How did he miss that? Was he not looking at the monitor?

 

Hey. Want to know what goes on when the audience isn't in the arena? Well, first, Vince McMahon walks through and spits on every seat in the building. Sometimes it takes hours. Secondly, they do silly drunken skits like this one…

In an empty arena, William Regal is ready to do a Hornswoggle training session. The midget is called to action and his opponent is…The Great Khali.

…or the Coach in a wig. Whatever works.

It doesn't work for Coachman. He argues over the indignity and Regal tells him to shut the hell up. Zip it, Sunshine. As Taylor from Kid Nation would say, "Deal with it!" With that order, we get some jokes about Indians and the match is underway. One rule though, Jonathon…you're a dummy. You're here to get beat up. Go limp.

Oh, and he does. Coachy takes a pounding from the Little Bastard and seems to get more upset with each passing move. As he was protesting to the General Manager, John even would up with his finger bitten by the McMini Me. After some more slapstick knee-slappery, The Great Coachli finds himself pinned by the Teeny Little Superguy.

Exactly as it sounds. Either you love this stuff or you hate it. The important thing - they killed a few minutes.

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler run down the Survivor Series card. Be sure to order the "Thanksgiving Night Tradition" turned "Thanksgiving Eve Tradition" turned "Whenever The Hell There's a Free Sunday in November Tradition."

In the event center, Todd Grisham has Triple H by side. Just a few moments away from that lumberjacking, Gameboy. You gonna kick a little ass? Huh? What's the deal, Mr. McHunter?

"Umaga, you will be lucky to go to Survivor Series because tonight, you go one on one with the Game."

Game. Great One. Whatever works.

Helmsley tells him that tonight will be the final chapter in the Triple H-Umaga saga. (JG Note: I hope not considering that they're fighting on pay-per-view this weekend.) Trips will finish what he started and emerge as the King of Cartoons come the night's end! So it is written by Stephanie. So it shall me done!

Commercial Break. KITT, Brooke Shields, and Mr. T. Saving the world one crackhead at a time.

Survivor Series Classic:  Jerry Lawler, Sneezy, Cheesy, and Sleazy vs. Doink, Dink, Pink, and…uh, Bill? I forget.

Triple H takes his weekly walking shower and makes his way to the ring. Behind him are his lumberjacks. Kane, The Hardys, and Rey Mysterio. Party on, Hunter. Party on, Lumberjacks. Glad to see The Big Red Machine is able to put that whole necrophilia-rape accusation behind him. His severely burnt therapist must have told him that he need to let go of the anger.

Umaga Untrue Fact:  Umaga's full name is Stewart Arnold Umagaloni.

Behind Umaga is his team. Fit Finlay, Not-So-Fit Big Daddy V, MVP, and Ken Kennedy.

5. Lumberjack Match: Triple H defeated Umaga via disqualification.

Jim Ross says, "Two teams of five. Who will survive?" If wrestling were real, you'd have to wonder who thought it would be a good idea to put ten guys who are fighting each other on PPV around the ring together. I mean, the G.M. always wants order, but sends out two gangs of giant men to have a turf war. He might as well give them pocketknives. Early on the Lumberjacks held each other off from interfering against the other side. With all the bickering, the heels were distracted and left open for a flying Game from the apron. They ended up getting revenge, though. Trips tried a Pedigree on the Bulldozer, but found himself backdropped to the floor. When he hit, The Samoan's Swat Team all ganged up and put the boots to him. It was around this time that things slowed down and the excitement seemed to fade. It was Triple trying to fend off an angry savage while people like Mr. Kennedy choked him from the outside. Ross said that Ken and his friends had "no character." Ouch. Harsh, Jim. Harsh. In the end, the King of Kings fought his way back. He caught the Bulldozer while he tried for a backdrop and hit the knee. After showing Jamala the "suck it" gesture, he went for the Pedigree. This was reversed and met with a Samoan Spike setup. H Cubed ducked it and nailed the Spinebuster…sending Montel Porter to the ring apron and Finlay jumping in. Fit rushed The Gamy One and began pounding away on the K.o.K. Ding. Ding. Ding.

The battle raged and everyone got involved. A cool brawl was just breaking out. This ought to be fun. Let's watch these guys fight!

Fade to black.

Dang it.

All in all… Tonight was much better than the last few weeks. It was a solid edition of Raw and kept its eye on the prize. Survivor Series is on Sunday, people. Send Zeus your Benjamins.

The infusion of Smackdown "and ECW" superstars was a great kick in the butt for the show. We saw a ton of guys we wouldn't have normally. On top of that, it was a surprise. Batista and Undertaker kicking off the show was terrific and made you remember why these shows were more fun when everyone wrestled on all "brands." In fact, they were just shows - not brands. You wrestled on Raw and Smackdown. There were tons of top stars to pop the crowd throughout the night. You didn't need people to work 25 minute comedy segments and didn't have the time to do it.

Sure, we can complain that Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade lost to Taker and Tista, but it's all good. Once you've lost a handicap match to Triple H, a defeat by UT and Dave isn't going to knock you down any ladder. The mere fact that they survived actually helped move their status up a little bit. How crazy is that? It was good to see such a big opening to the show.

I miss when Survivor Series teams had cheesy names. That was fun. We could have "Hunter's Hunters vs. Umaga's Visionaries." That would be cool. Oooo! And a giant egg. We need a giant egg.

I wish they had timed the finale better. They could have shown some more of the post-match fighting. That's what people are into most anyway. Armbars are great, but insane demolition debris of guys punching and flipping through the air are the reason most people watch.

It's time to settle Santino Marella into something real. These mini-feuds aren't cutting it. He needs to have a real feud with a real wrestler over something real…anything.

Michaels-Orton was okay. These guys have both been nothing short of great lately and they have such similarities that it seems natural. The former brash youngest versus the current one. Who will win? No one knows. Feed the Hungry Hip-Hippos.

That does it for me. See you during the week for an all new uncut interview. Until next time, Be Well. Thanks for sharing my Insanity.


JG's Retro Raw Insanity
Latest Headlines
JG's 3/17/05 Smackdown Insanity: John Cena Wants To Touch JBL...But Teddy Long Won't Let Him
JG's 3/15/04 Raw Insanity: The Crippling Champ, The Debuting Grisham, and Look What Vince McMahon Did!
JG's 3/13/06 Raw Insanity: Shawn Michaels Throws Pee-Pee at His Boss
JG's 3/12/07 Raw Insanity: The Rock Returns To Raw, Steve Austin Threatens To Beat Up Donald Trump, and The Rockers of Thuganomics Run The Gauntlet
JG's 3/7/05 Raw Insanity: Lita Teaches a New Playmate Some Old Tricks, Batista Doesn't Respect Other People's Property
JG's 3/4/08 ECW Insanity: The Delaney Kid Goes Nuts, Kane Is Stalked By The Palumbotaker, and Bravo For Chavo
JG's 2/28/05 Raw Insanity: Hunter Vows To Slap His Son and Shawn Michaels Bleeds On Kurt Angle
JG's 2/27/06 Raw Insanity: Hey, Butt Kisser, Ric Flair's 57, and Everybody Hates John Cena
JG's 2/26/07 Raw Insanity: Shawn Michaels Has Intimacy Issues, The Extreme Apprentice, and Johnny Nitro Can't Take That Woman's Screaming No Mo!
JG's 2/25/08 Raw Insanity: Mr. McMahon Never Got A Second DNA Test, Hunter Doesn't Warn Cena, and Ric Flair Forces Shawn Michaels To Do Things He Doesn't Want To Do
JG's 2/24/04 Raw Insanity: Guess Who Won a WrestleMania Title Match...SUCKA!
JG's 2/20/06 Raw Insanity: Hunter Conquers All, The Rockers Reunite, and Mama Benjamin's Son Wins Gold
JG's 2/14/05 Raw Insanity: JBL, Roddy Piper, and Britney Friggin' Spears
JG's 2/11/08 Raw Insanity: The McMahon-Hornswoggle-Finlay Thing Part 1, Jeff Hardy Gives Shawn Michaels Some Sweet Swanton Music, and The Burchill Kids Have Mad Issues
JG's 2/9/04 Raw Insanity: Shawn Michaels Gives Chris Benoit the Jannetty Treatment
JG's 2/7/05 Raw Insanity: How a Smackdown Batista can be bigger than DX and the Horsemen
JG's 2/4/08 Raw Insanity: Vince McMahon Encourages Parents To Moon Their Children, Snitsky Feels Left Out, and Mark Henry Is Here For Some Reason
JG's 1/29/07 Raw Insanity: Khali Wastes A Title Shot, Trump Wastes Money, and The Rockers of Thuganomics Win The Tag Titles
JG's 1/27/03 Raw Insanity: Chris Jericho Saves The DeGenerate Horsemen From Scott Steiner and John "No Last Name Yet" Morrison Debuts
JG's 1/24/05 Raw Insanity: Dave Batista and Sylvan Grenier Share a Moment

Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on...

A

Sivi Afi
Aaron Aguliera
Skandar Akbar
Brent Albright
Ole Anderson
Road Warrior Animal
Tony "T.L. Hopper" Anthony

B

Buff Bagwell
Doug Basham
Paul Bearer
Giant Bernard
Big Daddy V
Eric Bischoff
Steve Blackman
Brian Blair
Tully Blanchard
Nick Bockwinkel
"The Boogeyman" Marty Wright
Bad News Brown
D-Lo Brown
"Jumping" Jim Brunzell
Mike "Simon Dean" Bucci
Bull Buchanan

C

Lance Cade
Christian
John Cena Sr.
Chaz "Headbanger Mosh"
Bryan "Adam Bomb" Clark
Rob Conway
Jim Cornette

Justin Credible

D

D-Ray 3000
Scott D'Amore
Christopher Daniels
Shawn Daivari
Dangerous Danny Davis
Dawn Marie
Damian Demento
Colin Delaney
Brother Devon
Demolition Ax
Demolition Smash
Bill DeMott
Ted DiBiase
J.J. Dillon
Nick "Eugene" Dinsmore
Disco Inferno
Spike Dudley

Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Kenny Dykstra

E

Bobby Eaton
Paul Ellering

Armando Estrada

F

Manny Fernandez
Francine
Mr. Fuji
Dory Funk Jr.
Terry Funk

G

Greg Gagne
Ronnie Garvin
Jackie Gayda
Robert Gibson
Glacier
Sylvain Grenier
Tod Gordon
Zach Gowen
Juventud Guerrera

H

Chalie Haas
Chris Harris
Bruce Hart
Jimmy Hart
Diva Search's Jessica Hatch
Dave Hebner
Earl Hebner
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan
Jon Heidenreich
Christy Hemme
Hillbilly Jim
Molly Holly
The Honky Tonk Man
Tim Horner
Scotty 2 Hotty
Sam Houston

Mr. Hughes


I

The Iron Sheik
Ivory

J

B.G. James
Jazz
Ahmed Johnson
Judge Jeff Jones
Orlando Jordan

K


Kamala
Kid Kash
Kevin Kelly
Pat "Simon Diamond" Kenney
Ron Killings
Cpl. Kirschner
Kizarny
Kevin Kleinrock
Brian Knobbs
Ivan Koloff

Nikita Koloff


L

Bobby Lashley
Bruno "Harvey Wippleman" Lauer
Jerry "The King" Lawler
"The Total Package" Lex Luger
Buschwhacker Luke

M

Rodney Mack
Magnum T.A.
Balls Mahoney
Dutch Mantell
Rick Martel
Clarence Mason
"Masterpiece" Chris Masters
Robbie McAllister
Rory McAllister
Matt Morgan
Ernest Miller
Missing Link
Father James Mitchell
Mo From Men on a Mission
Sean Mooney
Ricky Morton

Trevor Murdoch

N

Kevin Nash
Nidia

Nunzio

O

One Man Gang
Sonny Onoo
Paul "Mr. Wonderful" Orndorff
Oscar From Men on a Mission
Fred "Typhoon/Tugboat/Shockmaster" Ottman
Pierre-Carl Ouellet

Outback Jack

P

Diamond Dallas Page
Ken Patera
Nick Patrick
Thunderbolt Patterson
Jim Powers
Tom Prichard
Ivan Putski

R

Harley Race
Baron Von Raschke
"The Yeti" Ron Reis
Rhino
Dustin Rhodes
Tommy Rich
Rikishi
Paul Roma
"Super Hero in Training" Rosie
Jacques Rougeau
Terri Runnels

Lance Russell


S

Samoa Joe
Bruno Sammartino
Samu
Tito Santana
Dan "The Beast" Severn
Ron Simmons
Elix Skipper
Slick
Tracey Smothers
Al Snow
Sim "Deuce" Snuka
Dennis Stamp
George "The Animal" Steele
Rick Steiner
Scott Steiner
Idol Stevens
The Stro
AJ Styles
Dave "Evad" Sullivan
Kevin Sullivan

T

Dave Taylor
Sylvester Terkay
ECW's Tiffany
Too Cold Scorpio

V

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Jimmy Valiant
Johnny Valiant
Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Sid Vicious
Vito
Nikolai Volkoff


W

 

Y
David Young
Mae Young


Z

Larry Zybszko

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