From WorldWrestlingInsanity.com

JG's Retro Raw Insanity
JG's 1/30/06 Raw Insanity: Triple H vs. Chavo Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, and God
By James Guttman
Jan 30, 2016 - 11:11 AM

Originally Published January 30, 2006


Open: Titan Tower. Mr. McMahon's Office .

The chairman is sitting at his desk. He is singing the theme from Charles in Charge and stabbing a Bruno Sammartino LJN figure with a phillips head screwdriver.


Secretary on Intercom: Mr. McMahon, Rey Mysterio is here to see you.

Vince McMahon: Yeah? Send that sumbitch in here!

Rey Mysterio enters the room. He is dressed in business casual attire and wearing a mask.

Vince: Come on in, Rey! It's so good to see you.

Rey: Hello, Mr. McMahon.

Vince: Christ, you're tiny. Look how tiny and adorable you are. You're like Mario before he eats the mushroom. Damn you're a tiny man.

Rey: Uh...thank you, I guess.

Vince: Wow. Man. You are just so teeny. How cute! Seriously. You're just so cute. You look like a four year old. I just wanna nuzzle you. Come here. Let me nuzzle you.

Rey: (frightened) Do I have to? I'm not sure I want to do that, sir.

Vince: No. No, of course not. Just testing you. You passed. I hate guys! I love women! What you want, Grizzly Adams?

Rey: (confused) Right. Uh, so what was it you wanted to see me about?

Vince: Well, teeny tiny, you know how we gave you the Royal Rumble last night, right?

Rey: Uh yeah, I guess. You guys wrote it out and gave me the run sheet before the show.

Vince: Yeah. Well, I mean, we gave it to you, but, of course, it was also Eddie Guerrero's will. It was he who made it happen.

Rey: Sure. That's what you guys wrote on the run sheet.

Vince: Oh, of course. I'm sure Eddie's here with us right now and he's smiling and all that flowery bullshit. Ariba La Raza. See? I love the Mexicans. They're almost as good as people.

Rey: (growing annoyed) That's great.

Vince: Let's get down to brass tacks, Little Beaver. We gave you the Rumble last night. Now I need something from you.

Rey: OK. I wasn't aware that there would be a trade thing. I thought I won it on merit.

Vince: Meri... (disgusted), are you on crack? Smoke-o el loco coke-o, amigo? You're two feet tall! Merit? Johnny Ace sends me an email every day asking if he can shoot you. Did you know that? Bang bang. No foolies. He has a gun. Merit?! What the f...

Rey: OK. I get it.

Vince: Hold on. Let me tell you another thing, pal...awwwwww. I can't stay mad at you. God, you're so cute and tiny. Come and give me nuzzles.

Rey: (irritated) Can you just tell me what you want me to give you?

Vince: Nuzzles?

Rey: No. You said you wanted something in return for the Rumble win.

Vince: Oh, that. Yeah. I want you to give me Dominic.

Rey: What?! My son?

Vince: Well, technically he'll be your former son, but - yeah - you get the general idea.



Rey: What do you want to do with my son?!

Vince: Is that really important? You won the Rumble. Go bang some midget strippers and leave your boy with the receptionist.

Rey: I'm not giving you my son. What the hell is wrong with you?

Vince: Can you hang on for one second, please?

Mr. McMahon opens his cell phone and presses one button. He waits a moment and speaks.

Vince: Yeah. No. He's asking questions. Yeah. Come in.

Within four seconds, Triple H enters the room.

Triple H: (smiling and extending his hand) Hey Rey, how have you been, man? You look great! Have you gotten taller?

Rey: Cut the crap, Hunter. What's going on?

Hunter: Hey, yeah. Uh. Look. I heard from someone that, uh, Eddie would have wanted you to give us your kid. You know, in exchange for winning the Royal Rumble.

Rey: What?! Are you kidding me, man?!

Hunter: I know. I know. That's why I was like "No way." But it's totally true. You know. Ric heard it from Dave who heard it from Clyde who heard it from Butters who heard it from Chavo. So, like, I don't know. Give us your kid.



Rey: You people are crazy!

Vince: He'll be well taken care of, Rey Rey. He'll have everything he ever wanted...you know, until we eat him.

Rey: (shocked) Eat him?!

Vince: Well, not all at once. I mean, what do you think we are? Animals?

Hunter: I call the thigh.

Vince: Oh! You always get to eat the thighs.

Rey: What the f**k?! I'm out of here!

Rey jumps straight up in the air and runs out of the office. Vince calls out to him.

Vince: Give me a call and let me know your decision, Rey!

Hunter: (after making sure Rey is out of earshot) Yo. So is this gonna work?

Vince: Sure. Look. He's not going to give Dominic away to people he thinks will eat him. So, he'll give up the WrestleMania title shot for sure.

Hunter: That's what you said about the deal we made with Benoit two years ago.

Vince: How was I supposed to know he'd actually shoot that nun?

Hunter: Fine. I'm not blaming you, but we need a back-up plan.

Vince: Alright. Hang on. I got it. If he doesn't do it, we'll let Linda kill him. Then you take the title match at Mania, use Rey's theme song and dedicate your win to his memory.

Hunter: (beaming) God. I love how you think.

Vince: I love how you spit water.

Hunter: Shut up. You had me at hello.

Vince: Race you to the bus, son. Last one there has to rub Stephanie's feet. Go!



 

So yeah. Rey Mysterio won the Royal Rumble last night. You know who lost last night? Me. Why? Cause I paid for it. At least tonight's on regular ol' USA. We have a lot of things to sort out and even if the show tanks, at least we didn't have to pay for it. Will Shawn Michaels seek revenge on Big Daddy McMahon and his son, with the famous Shane-o Shuffle? Has John Cena's under whelming title win over Edge taken the wind out of the R-Rated Superstar's sails? What will Greg Helms have to say to those that thought he wouldn't capture the Cruiserweight Title? The most important question, of course, is Triple H, though. What's up with him? What does he do for fun? What are his hopes? His fears? His dreams? There's only one way to find out. Watch his show. It's Monday. It's 9 o'clock. It's the Dog Show channel. Woof, woof, people. It's Raw!

Before we even go to the Raw Theme, we go to the former WWE Champion Edge. The E-Man is standing by with Lita and he's not happy. He calls last night a "fluke." You know what, John Cena? Screw WrestleMania. Forget "Saturday Night's Main Event." The Edgemeister is invoking his rematch clause...tonight! Edgy vows that he will not be a transitional champion and gives us the crazy eyes. (Iron Sheik Note: What-ees wrong-a transitional champeen? America! Ha-cha - patooooie!)

Raw Theme Plays. Though we never miss a chance to get up and dance and do the Shane-o Shuffle! Shane-o, let's go. Shane-o, let's go. With a Mac-Mac-MacMahon...

We're live! Joey "No Relation to AJ" Styles welcomes us all to his dogg house. We have a packed show tonight. As you just heard, Edge will be invoking his rematch clause against WWE Champion "Dr. Thuggo" John Cena. Then from there, it's World Tag Champions Big Show and Kane squaring off against Carlito Cool and Chris Masters. Wait. Hold on. There's tag team champions? I forgot all about those!

Sorry I kept you waiting. What can I...oh, my. Uh, sir...

Name's McMahon. Vince McMahon.

Fine. Uh, Mr. McMahon, you're not supposed to take your pants off.

Oh. My apologies, doctor. I never know the correct protocol with things like this. I find it's always best to err on the side of caution and remove my pants before you come to see me.

That's fine, sir. There's just two problems. First problem is that I'm not your doctor. Second is that this is Starbucks.


Vince McMahon is waddling to the ring and he's got a big smile on his face. Why? Well, last night he took out Shawn Michaels. Not only that, but Mr. McPantlsless guaran-damn-teed that Shawn 's luck would run out. Want to see the video? Huh? Alfredo, play the movie for all the people in the Paradiso!

Video clip of Shane McMahon attacking Shawn Michaels and eliminating him from the Royal Rumble. They don't edit out his insane, ridiculous Shane-o Shuffle. It's like watching William Shatner ice-skate in fast motion.

Vinnie asks that we all give it up for Shane-o Mac. He's a prime example of Vince's "Zero Tolerancy Policy." While the chairman concedes that he has abused his power, he asks what the point of power is if it can't be abused. He even suggests that he could use his power to have all the fans thrown out of the arena. (JG Note: A few more pay-per-views like the Royal Rumble and he won't have to bother.) Luckily, a hero comes along with the strength to carry on and stop Mr. McMahon from emptying the stands.

Oh my God! Can I have your autograph?

Sure thing, Jack.

Wait. Shawn Michaels? Who's Shawn Michaels? Aren't you Michael Bolton?


Shawn Michaels is here and he's got a suit on. Michaels is wearing his classic "stoic" expression as he ambles his way to the ring. Once he arrives, the leathery owner gets right in his mug.

McMahon questions HBK's cahonies. How dare you step in to the ring with your boss, Rocker-boy. Whatchu want? Shawn responds that he'd like to kick Vinnie's teeth down his throat. However, he doesn't want to get fired. VKM confirms his suspicion and says that such action would result in termination.

Well, hmmmm...then, Shawn considers, he could do the "good Christian thing" and turn the other cheek. Hell, he could just quit altogether. Who needs the hassle? Oh wait. If he did, Big Mac would just sue for "breach of contract." VinMan responds that he would sue Shawnathon for every cent he had.

That brings Michaels Bolton to choice three. He can turn back the clock. He can be the HBK of old. He can do the "partying, drinking, and pill-popping." After all, that's what the Mac Man wants, right? Vin gets all giddy and applauds Shawn's mention of popping pills again. Do it, Shawny! Die! Michaels shoots down the thought. It's not happening, Mr. McBeelzebub. The Boy Toy loves his wife and kids and he ain't popping pills for you or anyone! This causes the boss to grow insane. He tells Kid Heartbreak that he's "screwed." In fact, he's "screwed worse than Bret Hart was ever screwed."

Before the owner can explain his evil plan, the Midnight Rocker cuts in. You're a business man, right? Well, Vince, how about a match right here tonight? How about you...against Shawn Michaels! One-on-one, bitch!

The owner doesn't answer right away, so Michaels calls him out for his indecision. Where's the grapefruits, Mac Daddy? What happened? Did they "shrivel up" now that "you're 60 years old?" Don't be a wuss. You beat the Feds, Mac. You can beat the Boy Toy. Can't ya?

This only serves to piss of the chairman. He tells his adversary that there would be no match. Vinnie Mac makes his own return date. You don't call him out. He calls you out. Got it? In fact, let's mix things up a little. The boss is going to give you a rare opportunity tonight, Shawn-o. You can commit career suicide. That's right. He's given you the chance to sign your own pink slip, Boy Toy. All you got to do is hit Mr. McMahon.

"Come on, Shawn. You hit me and I'll fire you and sue your ass."

"Come on, Shawn. Hit me."

"Come on."

"In the temple! Come on! Hit me in the temple!"

"No. Right here. Right in the side of the jaw! Come on, Shawn! Hit me!"

"Here! One hand behind my back!"

"Come on, Shawn! Hit me! COME ON! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?! GET ON MY KNEE?! YOUR MOTHER SEWS SOCKS IN HELL!"

While we all watched the possessed body of Vince turn bright red and vibrate on his knee, we didn't notice Shane McMahon's arrival with steel chair in hand. He slams it into the head of Shawn Michaels. HBK falls to the ground. Shane stares for a moment and then helps his daddy put back on his jacket. Big Vin and Ice-Skating Shatner take their leave. I have to be honest. I wasn't too enthused about a Michaels-Vince match, but compared to the thought of a Michaels-Shane match - it's like Christmas.



Commercial Break. I gotta get me a Taco Bell Edible Frisbee thing. It's about time they took their same seven ingredients and shaped them into something fun to play with.

Mister and Shane McMahon are leaving the arena. They're caught up to by Todd Grisham. What's your ish, Shane? Why you hatin? Well, Toddly, the reason is simple. It's about respect. You don't disrespect the McMahon family. "Bret Hart learned that. Stone Cold Steve Austin learned that. Now Shawn Michaels learned that." The duo then enter a limo and take off. I'm surprised that they took a limo. I was expecting Vince to hop on Shane's shoulders and have him dance them off into the night.

1) Rob Van Dam pinned Gene Snitsky after a 5 Star Frog Splash

I'm glad to see RVD back. I hope that doesn't fade in two months after he slips back down the ladder. Hopefully that won't happen this time around. Now, as opposed to his previous time in the company, WWE is realizing its need for new top names. Misusing Rob at this point would be a horrible misstep on the company's part. Then again, horrible missteps aren't completely out of the question given the current state of the promotion. Switching lanes for a second, Snitsky's star is shrinking daily. For a character with so much of an initial introduction, Gene's current state is an example of all then nothing. He comes to Raw in a high profile way and then just stopped doing anything. In the end, it was the Baby Killer taking a predictable loss to Van Dam. All it took was one Five Star Frog Splash to kick Snitksy's bowl. Three seconds later, Robbie V is named the winner.

Still to come: The Big Red Machine Show take on The Applepieces. Then the WWE title is up for grabs when Adam Cage meets Poo-Poo Charlie.

Commercial Break. Order the replay of the Royal Rumble. Oh and while you're at it, smack yourself in the face with a hammer.

Living proof that Vince McMahon used to watch "Gimme a Break," Mama Benjamin, is standing by with her son Shelton. She hammers into him with the same fervor that Nell used to rip into Joey with as she questions his lack of direction. Too many almosts, boy. You almost won the Rumble. You almost eliminated Shawn Michaels. Mommy don't deal in almosts. Thea tells Shelly that she'll beat him into a champion. After dismissing the lad from her sight, momma plops down upon the couch. From behind, a pair of hands begins to rub her neck. She assumes it's her Benji, but she's wrong. The magic fingers belong to Goldust. He tells her that he "loves golden showers." A scared Momma B calls for her son, but is left unanswered. Goldy says that Mrs. Benjamin will never forget the name of Goldust. (JG Note: He must like her because she reminds him of his daddy's old friend Sapphire.) Dustin does the jaw chomp and Big Bad Momma collapses in shock. She thinks that's bad? She should have been around back when Dust put a gag ball in his mouth and licked Luna while shrieking.

Maria is happy as hell and she's standing by with a sopping wet Hunter Hearst Helmsley. She asks him how he feels about coming "thiiiiiiissss close to winning" before being eliminated by Rey Mysterio. Gameboy responds with, well, this:

"That what you think? Is that what everybody thinks, huh? I'm sure that's what Rey Mysterio would tell you - that he went sixty minutes and eliminated the Game. All I know is that last night I met 28 other guys head on, face to face, one on one as they walked through those ropes and handed every one of them their ass. And I'm supposed to believe that Rey Mysterio then beat me? I don't buy it. I heard all the theories of divine intervention from Eddie Guerrero. But I don't buy it. Because even Eddie Guerrero couldn't pull something off this big. Because this had to be from a power even higher than Eddie Guerrero because now my guaranteed shot at WrestleMania is gone. Who can I take that out on, Maria? I can't take that out on God. I can't take that out on Eddie Guerrero. I can't even take it out on Rey Mysterio. But I can take it out on the next best thing tonight. Chavo Guerrero, you had better pray. You had better pray to whoever it was that helped Rey Mysterio last night because you are gonna need it!"
- Triple H, 9:35pm

Yeah. Wow. Did that just happen? Just when you think it can't get much worse, huh? Nothing's sacred around here. It's a pity that Triple H can't take out his anger on Eddie Guerrero, isn't it? Unfortunately, Eddie died at a young age while under contract to Hunter's family. Sorry, Trips. Must be frustrating for you.

Coming up: Feces-Poop: The Rematch.

Commercial Break. I wish Ernie the Clepto would forget about Starburst and steal the megaphones from the Truth.com kids instead.

2) Triple H pinned Chavo Guerrero after a Pedigree.

Hunter taunts Chavo by doing Eddie's trademark moves. He taps his chest and does the dance. This whole thing is bringing "cheap heat" to a new level. Sgt Slaughter mocking the k-rations of US troops seems like Emmy-award winning writing compared to this. Coachman then further ruins this horrible angle by saying that Chavo and Eddie never liked each other. Joey Styles melodramatically chastises him for saying such a (scripted) thing! I'm sitting here, seriously speechless. It's all just so in-your-face blatant. Kerwin hit the "Three Amigos" and seemed prime to really finish off Hunter. Unfortunately for Chavito, Eddie isn't divinely intervening in his matches. Hunter Hearst Cheapheat hit the Pedigree and gained another hard-fought victory.

By the way, for those of you keeping tack at home:

Rey Mysterio: Dedicates his matches to Eddie Guerrero. Wins and serves as an inspiration.

Chavo Guerrero: Dedicates his matches to Eddie Guerrero. Loses and brings shame to all who know him.

(WWE Note: See? We told you they didn't have the same gimmick!)

Back in the locker room, Chris Masters is rubbing a shiny substance all over himself. While he does this, Carlito yammers on and on about how he was attacked by Shaquille O'Neal. Uncool, man. Shaq is uncool. He doesn't realize that nothing can take down Carlito Cool. Heck, Masterpiece, nothing can take down Carlito Cool and Chris Masters - not even Big Show and Kane. Know what that means? It means that the Coolpieces are taking the tag straps tonight. What you think of that, Chrissy? When Mr. Masters refuses an answer, Carl assumes that he's still upset about last night. You see, Fro Boy didn't mean to dump you over the top rope in the Rumble, Chris. Come on, man. It's the past. It's over. Can't you and Carly just be cool? Masters thinks for a moment and then slaps Carlito across the face. " Now," explains the Masterpiece, "we're cool."

Commercial Break. "Hi." Hi. "Is Allen there?" No. "Sorry. I must have the wrong number" - When a Stranger Calls - Rated PG-13. Opens everywhere Friday.

I raped a dead body.

I rode my daddy's coffin across a cemetery while Big Bossman dragged it in a truck.

I set Jim Ross on fire.

I got drenched in sewage by a big hose.

I forced Lita into sex and then marriage. Then Matt Hardy showed up and blew up my spot before getting his ass kicked.

Man, Kane. You're my soul mate.


3) World Tag Team Champions Big Show and Kane defeated Carlito and Chris Masters

This was a pretty ho-hum match. With the split of Carlito and Masters being teased on and off all month, it was pretty obvious who would be winning this one. Despite being pinned by a double choke slam, Chris had a good showing in this one. He applied the Master lock a few times and looked to have the match won on more than one occasion. Unfortunately, under Triple H logic, whoever Masters should have been praying to for divine intervention didn't step in. He was hit by a chokelsam and suffered the loss to Andre's baby boy and the Eye Scream Man.

Commercial Break. Nassau Coliseum is hosting a Jiffy Lube Monster Truck Show featuring "World Champion Madusa." Just letting ya know.

Maria Kanellis PHD runs into Rob Van Dam backstage. Hey Robby. What up? You got revenge on your mind as it relatest to Calrito Cool? Van Dam promises to "beat the snot" out of Carlito for attacking him six months ago and prolonging his injury. Prolonged injuries? That's not cool.

Todd Grisham is standing by with Mickie James. Mickie comes up to his shoulder. Seriously, she looks like she's 3 feet tall. MJ is celebrating Trish Stratus tonight. That begs the question, why? Why celebrate Trish? Well, James says it's simple. We've celebrated many women in history. Women like Joan of Arc and Angelina Jolie. They're just "dimestore hookers" compared to Miss Trish, though. You don't know, Todd. There was a special feeling last night when Mickie told Strats that she loved her. Then, when Special Referee Stratus counted the three in Mick's match with Ashley, she knew. She knew that Trish loved her too! Tonight the Mickster is going to return that love right back to her with a big celebration! She makes Grisham promise to watch, which he does. Princess Looneytunes lets out one final cackle before leaving the scene.

Commercial Break. February 13th and 14th, the Dogs take over once again. Muwahahahhahaha!

4) Shelton Benjamin pinned Goldust with a T-Bone Suplex

You know, if Dusty Rhodes quit wrestling to manage a Burger King, Dustin would be right there frying up Chicken Tenders. Anyway, Big Momma was the focal point of this one as she gasped for air at ringside. Growing flustered in her wheelchair, Thea cheered on her son from ringside. Unexpectedly, Joey Styles brings up something that WWE hasn't really mentioned up until now:

"That is not Martin Lawrence! That's the real Big Momma - Momma Benjamin!"
Joey Styles, 10:22pm

Weird to see them bring up one of the places they ganked a gimmick idea, right? Anyway, it was Martin Lawrence's kid scoring the victory over the son of a son of a plumber with a T-Bone. Mamma Benjamin, you so crazy. Runteldat.

Commercial Break. Hi, uh, is this 1-800-Pet-Meds? Yeah, man. Listen, I got a horse and he REALLY needs tranquilizers. Lots of 'em! Please! Come on! Look, look. Don't hang up. Fine. I don't have a horse, but I REALLY NEED HORSE TRANQUILIZERS! PLEASE! Hello? Hello?! HELLO?!??!?

Backstage, Shelton Benjamin wheels Momma into a room to relax. He then runs into Ric Flair, who's flirting with Candice, Torrie, Victoria, and Chloe. What up, Naitch? How's it hanging? Benji is here to tell you that he's got his confidence back. Now he's ready to wear some gold. He wants his Intercontinental Championship back, Ted Knight, and he's gonna get it. Slick Ric finds this laughable. It ain't happening, kiddo. Know why? Because a "Mama's Boy" don't beat a "Nature Boy." Whoooo! The Dirtiest Player in (Triple H) then walks off, stopping to "Whooo" at a befuddled Benjamin with every few steps.

Meanwhile, back in the arena, Mickie James is ready for the Trish Stratus party. We rewatch some video from last night's Royal Rumble while a giggly Mickie talks about the mutual love she shares with Trish. On that note, let's bring her out.

Trisssssssssssssssssssshhhhhh...Strat-uuuuuuuuus. Strat-us.

Trisha arrives and balloons fall from the ceiling. Single White Mickie shrieks with glee and Stratus appears nonplussed. Look, Mick. TS isn't here to celebrate. She's here to set the record straight. WHOA! Hold up, Strats! Before you say anything, James wants to show you exactly how she feels. How? With...the Spirit Squad!

The Spirit Squad arrive and do some chants for Trish. The audience is so enthralled by the group's cheering ability that they sit in silence so they can hear every word. (JG Note: It just sounds nicer when I say it like that.)

Even with the cheers, Stratus still looks unhappy. Before she can tell her stalker what's really bothering her, they get an unexpected visitor.

Cue Ashley.

Lashley?

No. Ashley.

Who's Ashley?

The girl who wears the cap.

That girl?

No. That's Lance Cade. What the hell is wrong with you?!


The 2005 Raw Diva Search Winner Blaster Ashley has arrived and she's got some truth for Little Miss Nutballs. Listen, Mickie. Trish doesn't love you, you f**kin' psycho. You're just insane. That's the problem. Mick starts to cry and ask her idol if this is true. Complicating matters it the audience. They back up Ash by chanting "She's s Psycho" while James openly weeps.

Is this true, Trish? Is it?! IS IT?! FINE! If you want Mickie to leave you alone, she will! She's out of here!

At this point, the distraught James appears to be leaving the ring. However, she turns back around and tackles the Diva Search girl to the mat. They roll around and Ashley ends up on top. Stratus then steps in and pulls her off of the deranged party host, but it's all for naught. Ash breaks free from the Women's Champion and is met with a boot to the face by Mickie. What's worse, MJ takes Trish's intervention as a sign that she shares her girl-girl love. She screams her approval into a ringside microphone and plays the crazy act to the hilt before skipping back up the aisle. Mickie reminds me of about 75% of the girls I knew in college.

Edge is chewing something...and he's next!

Commercial Break. The Rock says "Pick up
Doom on DVD ." Then shine it and stick it up a llama's butt hole.

5) Edge defeated WWE Champion John Cena by disqualification...for some reason.

This match was average straight across the board. I mean, it wasn't the worst thing you'd ever have to sit though, but it definitely lacked any real main event feel. One thing was certain, the crowd response to Cena was not what you want on night one of a babyface's title reign. Forget all that, though. The match itself was meaningless. The important part was the completely insane and confusing ending that it had. The ref took a bump and Lita ran in with the title. Cena scooped up Copeland for the F-U and Leets came running in. Rather than hit John in the head with the belt, she sort of grazed Edge with it instead. He didn't sell it like it hurt at all, but the ref perked up and called for the bell - disqualifying John Cena.

It made no sense. Even the announcers seemed confused. I thought there might have been a mistake in the ring announcement, but they played Edge's music too. King, Coach, and AJ scramble to figure out what's going on and we're all left completely and utterly confused. It's a terrible messy ending to an underwhelming night. Essentially, no one knows what the hell's going on as we fade to black.

All in all...Draining.

Before anyhing, I want to make one thing clear. The problem with the whole Eddie Guerrero thing isn't that he's simply being mentioned. Rey and Chavo have a right to dedicate their matches to them and where armbands honoring him. The issue is when Eddie's name is written into scripted storylines. It's when the announcers sell Chavo on nothing more than being Latino Heat's nephew. It's when Triple H uses his name as a hot button to get heat. That's what makes it an issue.

It really bothers me. It bothers me to the point that it ruins a lot of the show. While these "Eddie made me pick a bad Royal Rumble number" skits are uncomfortable, it's even worse when you picture them all rehearsing it. Given that Eddie died at a young age while working for WWE, you'd think that the owner of the company would feel uneasy about using his death to sell characters and matches, right? I know I would.

Besides that stuff, the rest of the night lacked any real emotion either. There's very little to look at on Raw and say, "At least we have that."

That's not completely true, in my case. I actually like the Trish-Mickie storyline. I don't like it because it's a lesbian storyline. I like it because it's a different storyline. It helps to create a character, conflict, and eventual match all at once and does it in a way that hasn't been done over and over again. I also think that Mickie has improved on the mic since being allowed to accentuate her craziness. All that being said, WWE is really drawing this whole thing out. Hopefully they'll pull the trigger on MJ's all out crazy turn before the audience gets burnt out on the whole thing.

I don't know. Other than that one thing, this was a pretty tiring Raw. By the end of the night, I was more than ready for it to end. The bizarre ending to Edge-Cena was nothing more than final exclamation point on the sentence.

That does it for me, guys. Check back to WorldWrestlingInsanity.com throughout the week. We'll be debuting a new guest columnist and have lots of things going on to keep you busy. Check underneath the banner below to find out how you can participate in the People's DVD Review Section and Ask Dr. Tom Prichard.

Until next week, be well. Thanks for sharing my insanity.



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